An Innocent Object

by | Nov 4, 2020 | Fiction | 340 comments

An Innocent Object

The rain fell through the night in a torrent, sideways from the wind pushing it, stinging Isaiah’s ears.  The horse plowed through the muddy trail as best she could, it’s gallop becoming increasingly erratic.  She could barely keep up, but she kept running away from the same eerie feeling as Isaiah.

“We be okay.  Don’t stop now.”  He reassured his mount with a hearty pat.  The horse only continued to breathe heavily.

He hadn’t slept in days.  The was no sense in trying due to the weather.  He left his unit on a trail outside of Vicksburg several days earlier to deliver a message in New Orleans.  The written note rested in a saddlebag, not completely know to Isaiah what it said.  He couldn’t read it, even if he wanted to.  The city was nowhere in sight but Major Greenwood, Isaiah’s commanding officer, told him it would be along the trail.

That was before the storm began.  The rain wouldn’t stop and disoriented every direction Isaiah knew of. No landmarks, no stars, the clouds even covered the sunrise.  Isaiah was lost in the woods, and both he and the horse knew it.  She stumbled a bit and slowed to a trot.  Her heavy steps sloshed through the muck and the dead leaves that scattered the trail.  The wind whistled through the scraggly branches that tapped gently across each other.

The horse stopped.  Isaiah tapped her side to continue on, but she shook her head violently and tapped a hoof against the sodden trail.  He dismounted and saw what was spooking her.  A comb.  Long, thin and silver in color, it lay in the middle of the trail.  It’s radiant glow only intensified through the moonless, rainy night.  Wispy striations across its spine showed thin, luminescent colors when he took a closer look.  He couldn’t tell what it was made of.  The horse tapped her hooves several yards in front of it and began to back away.  She confused Isaiah.  Surely, Major Greenwood had a well disciplined war horse, accustomed to the thundering guns that accompanied battles, how could such an innocent object spook her like this?

“Okay, okay, I’ll move it.”  Isaiah replied.

The horse whinnied in agreement and began to chomp on her bit.  He set the comb down on the side of the trail.

“Alright now, nothing to worry about.” He said.

She continued to back away.  Her cries only getting louder and the stomping of her hooves in the soft mud.  Isaiah picked up the comb once again and threw it in to the woods.

“See? It gone.”  Isaiah showed her both of his hands were empty.  “I don’t like this place any more than you.”  He walked back over and climbed back up the saddle.

“Isaiah.”  A subtle whisper in the wind ticked the horse ears.  She jumped back, almost throwing Isaiah off.  She regained her feet and began circling around.

“Go, go!”  Isaiah shouted, with a stern kick to the horse’s side.  Barely hanging on the reigns, he rode through the night as quickly as she could.  He could barely make out his name whispered through the whistling winds.  Fantastic figures graced the corner of Isaiah’s eyes, only to disappear when he tried to focus on the silvery shadows.

Miles passed.  The horse’s trot was becoming increasingly erratic.  Her breathing turned into what sounded like more of a cough.  Isaiah could barely make out a tree root crossing the trail.  He braced himself.

“Whoa, there!”  He shouted, pulling the reigns as hard as he could.  She responded too slowly and Isaiah fell forward as she tripped over the root. Sliding head first into the mud, Isaiah could still hear his name through the howling wind.  His horse lay on her side, with a leg mangled in an unnatural direction, covered in mud and dead, yellow leaves.  She heaved heavy, labored breaths through the sound of softly tapping rain.

Isaiah placed a hand on Major Greenwood’s flintlock pistol.  His only other order was not to be captured.  This was to prevent that. He cocked back the hammer and aimed it at her heart.  With a fizzle, the hammer fell onto the wet powder charge.  Her look of wide eyed terror burned in Isaiah’s mind.

“I’m sorry.”  Was all he could say.  He noticed the rain stopped.

“Isaiah.”

A whispering figure radiated through the broken tree limbs.  She walked barefoot, and slowly amidst the wet earth in silence.   Her graceful stride floated her serenely between the trees.  Isaiah wasn’t sure what he was looking at.  She wore a silvery, gray dress that tattered just above her knees.  Her white skin glowed in the moonless night, contrasting with her blushing red lips.  Her eyes were beautiful, yet disturbing.  A glasslike blue with golden streaks radiating from the iris in a thin corona, that seemed to peer into Isaiah’s soul.   Isaiah was mesmerized by her hands, moving in an almost heavenly grace across a white, satin sash tied around her shapely waist.  Stopping to rest upon a silver comb.  She pulled on it, and ran it through her flowing, red hair.  Revealing more of her beautiful face.

“I’m sorry.  I didn’t know that be yours.  It spooked my horse you see…”  Isaiah rambled.

She placed a finger over his lips and placed the comb back on her waist.    She looked to the ground and touched his face.  Isaiah could hear the faint sound of her weeping.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong.”  He stopped when she once again, gently placed her finger over his lips.

She looked up, to reveal tears of blood.

“Good Lord!”  Isaiah exclaimed.

She smiled.  Revealing rows of black, jagged teeth.  Her jaw dropped when she released an ear splitting shriek.  Isaiah covered his ears but only to discover that it echoed through his head.  He could feel every muscle in his body tighten up.  His heart began to throb, feeling like it would burst at any moment.

-boom-  -boom-  -boom-  -boom-  -boom-

She stopped to turn to look at the cloaked figure walking up the trail.  He was dressed in an unfamiliar manner.  Wedge shaped boots, woolen overcoat topped off with a large hat that covered a mess of long wet hair.  He walked through the mud with a swagger that couldn’t be described. The figure pulled another pistol that Isaiah couldn’t recognize.

The woman inspected her dress, now soaked with blackened blood stains.  She looked up at Isaiah with an unpleasant smile, turned and ran.  She disappeared into the woods with a smoking flutter.

“You alright son?”  The man asked.  Isaiah clenched his chest, his heart was beating still but painfully.

“I’m okay.”

“Isaiah?”  The man asked.

“Yeah, who you be?”

“Name’s James Butler Hickok.  My friends call me Wild Bill. You have a note for somebody, where is it?”

“Saddlebag.”  Isaiah said between labored breaths.

The man walked over to the horse and pulled the note from the bag.  He looked at the note confused as he read it.

“What it say?”  Isaiah asked.

“Find him in Memphis…”  Wild Bill answered.  He walked back to Isaiah and looked him up and down.  “She came to claim you.  They’ve been chasing me too, because we’re not supposed to be here.  You can’t survive her scream.”

“I know.”  Isaiah replied, with each heartbeat a lesson in pain.  Wild Bill placed his left hand over the S&W model 2 holstered on his right side.

“Should I end it?” Isaiah merely nodded, then answered:

“Thank you, kindly.”

 

The Junction

The 8th of January

Aces and Eights

About The Author

Glib Staff

Glib Staff

340 Comments

  1. R C Dean

    *tap tap tap*

    Is this thing on?

    • Sensei

      Hey, i’ve been in my Japanese class until moments ago. Now I’ve got to back and actually read the post!

    • rhywun

      Workin’.

    • Mojeaux

      I was napping. Now I am working.

  2. Lachowsky

    D pres. R senate. Gridlock in Washington. Maybe not the worst thing ever.

    • blackjack

      I ain’t buying it. Trump is going to take AZ and prolly PA. These people that are telling us Biden won have been lying about everything , this is not the sudden exception.

      • rhywun

        Trump increased support from blacks and latinxes but we’re supposed to believe that Biden wins? That only makes sense if Dems admit that their party is increasingly the party of elite whites.

      • Cy

        None of this makes sense to me.

        How can the R’s not only hold the line but make gains and Trump lose?

        How can Trump make huge gains with minority voters and lose?

        How can Trump fire up the base to record voting levels and lose?

        None of this makes any sense.

      • Sean

        Record levels of cheating. I expect convictions.

        Shut up. Let me have the moment.

      • LemonGrenade

        I haven’t given up yet. I’m just keeping quiet in order to not jinx things.

      • rhywun

        That’s not how this works. That’s not how any of this works.

      • blackjack

        They’ve been bald faced lying about Biden winning, a blue wave, blah, blah, blah all fucking year. There’s only a tiny handful of gatekeepers allowed to claim a winner. Does anybody think they’ve found Jesus and stopped lying, just now? I sure the fuck don’t.

      • Lachowsky

        As much as I would like to believe otherwise, its true that the liars are going to win.

        We live in a post truth Era. The most retarded era, but post truth none the less.

      • blackjack

        That shit don’t fly with Trump. He cares not one whit if they like him. He will fight for it. He’s not a cuck like Romney and Mccain. He’s not gonna quietly get in line so they’ll saint him later. If there’s even a slight chance of taking 270 by proving fraud, he’s gonna do it, or die trying.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Trump’s tough, Blackjack, but sometimes even the tough guys lose. I don’t like it either but he does at least stand an outside chance.

      • blackjack

        I’d be inclined to agree, if John Roberts was the final arbiter, but he’s not anymore. If there compelling evidence that this was fudged, and there almost certainly is, the new court will act on it.

      • Gadfly

        Trump increased support from blacks and latinxes but we’re supposed to believe that Biden wins?

        It actually does make sense, for two reasons: first, Trump didn’t have high levels of support last time (he won 45% of the vote and is now up to 48%) and second, the minority portion of the electorate is larger than last time, so even while doing better it still leaves Biden with a smaller (majority) cut of a larger pie, which means more votes for him.

      • Count Potato

        “latinxes”

        That just gives me a headache.

        Who the hell thought it was a good idea to have a word for Spanish-speaking people that can’t be spelled or pronounced in Spanish?

      • rhywun

        Or that Spanish-speaking people don’t use themselves.

      • commodious spittoon

        Biden’s promising lockdowns forever and won enough votes to get within cheating distance of winning. The country’s toast regardless.

    • Chipwooder

      I mean, it could have been worse. Fly in the ointment is that there are always Rep senators dying to bend over in the name of bipartisanship.

      • Sean

        “Cucks”

      • db

        “Romneys”

      • Cy

        People don’t like how brash or boorish Trump is, but he has to be. There doesn’t seem to be a spine in the R party. They call it ‘class.’ But at some point you have to start taking a stand.

      • Sean

        I want him to fight this to the end. Viciously and unapologetically.

        Fuck, if he had Hunter arrested tomorrow, I’d need to contact my doctor.

      • db

        “If you experience an erection lasting more than four hours…”

      • Sean

        +1

      • Sean

        x2

      • zwak

        Wait, is that Charlie’s uncle, with the gorilla hands?

      • Cannoli

        Yes, they’ll pass all kinds of horrible bipartisan bills. But there’s a lot on the Evil Party’s wishlist that even the Stupid Party will manage to block (green new deal, medicare for all, court packing, outright gun confiscation, etc).

      • Gadfly

        Also they’ll certainly block the tax increases (Biden wanted to raise taxes on businesses by 7 points – an economy crusher even when it’s not on life support), and will probably block (or mitigate) his desire for a $15 min wage, another economy crusher. Ironically, an R Senate will save Biden from himself on the economy.

    • Lachowsky

      My totally delusional hope is that the Rs manage to locate their nutsacks and start opposing the insane fiscal policy of the past 12 years.

      Its probably too late, but if we are going to avoid Venezuelan lavels of inflation and the collapse of the dollar, Rs in the senate under a D president is our only chance.

      • Florida Man

        My hope is the states don’t view the president as legitimate and refuse to comply with any federal laws.

      • Lachowsky

        What will set me off is if they bail out bankrupt states.

      • Viking1865

        If they propose some giant bailout bill, I want Abbot and DeSantis as the governors of the two big powerhouse red states, to refuse to send their people’s tax dollars to public sector unions in CT and NJ and IL.

        Then, while I’m dreaming, all the states south of VA and east of Texas decide it’s time to bail the fuck out of this failed attempt at a federation.

      • creech

        I wonder if Sen. Manchin (D-WV)could be persuaded to flip to the R side?

  3. Sean

    Why’s the evil monster gotta be white?

  4. Chipwooder

    Detroit seems to have a surprising number of 120 year old voters

    • The Hyperbole

      What does the big red question mark beside the name mean?

      • db

        Their cat ate a razor blade?

      • Tres Cool

        It means “we’re out of Deli-Style Hearty Garlic Sandwich Slice Pickles”

    • Cy

      Those names though…

      • Tres Cool

        Mary Magdalene?

    • Count Potato

      WTF??

    • Tres Cool

      “these voters are entered manually” ?

      • Viking1865

        Heroic and noble Democratic public servants found several 120 year old black people and entered them in manually to ensure they could save us from the Drumpf.

      • Tres Cool

        Huzzah!

    • Count Potato

      Something is rotten in the state of cheese.

  5. db

    The only lesson we can clearly take from this election is that we must mandate that all citizens of voting age must register to vote, on penalty of ten years in prison for failure to register, and all registered voters must vote, on pain of death.

    It’s obvious, really.

    • blackjack

      It’s that either Florida is a very smart state and easily counts and accurately reports it totals quickly, or the others are cheating lying scum. Or some division of the two.

      • Rebel Scum

        It is curious that FL, which is typically and relatively a basket case, managed to get through the tallying in a timely fashion But states with a third (or less…) of the population cannot achieve that.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Never underestimate the power of unpunished incompetence to muck things up. That and lots of cheating.

      • Florida Man

        I keep telling all you pro liberty people to move to Florida. We’ve got our shit together. CCW, no income tax, reasonable property tax, urban centers, rural areas, In 2 years legal weed and it will be a virtual libertopia.

      • LemonGrenade

        If I could convince the hubby… he has a thing about oppressive heat, though.

      • rhywun

        #metoo

      • I'm Here To Help

        The heat isn’t oppressive – it’s actually cooler in most parts of Florida during the summer than it was in DC or Alabama (other places I’ve lived). I think our record high in the Tampa region is around 96 degrees – it was well over 100 in Alabama.

        Biggest problem we have is that summer lasts 6-7 months. We’re only a week removed from 90+ degree temperatures here, and even now it’s cooled all the way down to the mid-80s…

      • Rebel Scum

        But I like seasons. . . so much that I live in a state that can experience all four of them in the span of a week.

      • mrfamous

        Have to say it is tempting. Is the mask shit over?

      • Florida Man

        No state level mandate. Some metro areas have mayors putting out guidelines, but no fines may be levied. The heat is dealt with by consuming cold beer and lounging in pools. Seasons are dumb. I wear the same clothes year round.

      • Trials and Trippelations

        We’re RVing down to Miami for Thanksgiving instead of the usual festivities with relatives in NYC because they weren’t sure if they wanted us to come or if Cuomo would “ban” us from traveling anyway.
        So we chose the only fully open state on the east coast to vacation to

      • Florida Man

        You’re in luck. The weather has been gorgeous this week.

      • Trials and Trippelations

        You’re in luck. The weather has been gorgeous this week.

        Nice. 4 yr old is excited to see some gators in the everglades

      • blackjack

        I love Florida, but there ain’t no money there for me. I grew up at the beach. I never wore shoes for months at a time. The heat’s a bit much, but I’d make about half what I do now. Low costs would help, but not enough. Otherwise, I agree it’s among the best places I’ve been.

      • Gadfly

        CCW, no income tax, reasonable property tax, urban centers, rural areas, In 2 years legal weed and it will be a virtual libertopia.

        So basically it’s a swamp version of Texas with better drug laws.

      • Florida Man

        Yup, 20 million people all paddling around in a swamp. ?

      • Seguin

        So, like Houston, then.

      • cyto

        In florida Broward County and Palm Beach county always report last. There are always massive problems, and most of the state is 90% in before they start reporting significant numbers.

        Sound familiar?

        But then Governor DeSantis replaced the elections supervisors. Magically the very next election there are no such issues.

        Now, you could make a case for simple lack of competence in the prior election officials.

        But it is odd that a system where the vote is electronically tabulated the second that it is scanned as you complete your vote should ever experience significant delays.

    • rhywun

      “Or we’ll vote for you.”

    • Heroic Mulatto

      At least Australia gives you a sausage.

      • Raven Nation

        Umm, ahh, umm. Yeah, I got nothing.

  6. blackjack

    Cali has already done all this bullshit. They pioneered harvesting, moved to early and mail in ballots, fucked up the in person vote so bad, it really can’t be done anymore, and it turn them solid, as in SOLID blue. They gamed this shit so hard it ain’t even funny. Just a few short years later, it nationwide? Fuck that! This whole thing stinks bad. In a real election, Trump would have taken all the marbles without trying. He knows that and he’s gonna fight this with everything he’s got. I’m pretty sure he can see the crookedness a mile a way. He knows where to hit. Don’t count him out because Fox and NBC tell you to.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      This is a big deal and nothing will happen.

  7. rhywun

    So I was working late and my coworker who was training me to take over a release process tried to engage me in mask talk and I wasn’t having it. He’s scared in Florida and praised New York for being so pro-mask. I did blurt out something about how the ‘vid has already killed so many New Yorkers there’s hardly anyone left to kill. Then I clammed up and made excuses about something on TV or whatnot.

  8. trshmnstr the terrible

    From a friend of mine:

    I was disappointed to find out that my grandpa voted for Biden in Michigan. I guess I’ll forgive him though because he has been dead since 1997.

    • Plinker762

      I like the one: “Trump hates dead GIs because they all vote for the Democrats”

  9. blackjack

    I assume this was covered while I was at work. Fucking crazy. I hope they get decades if not life. Imagine stabbing people because they think differently than you. Evil is the only word.

  10. Trials and Trippelations

    I want to throw out some good news (on the local level). Rs made more gains in the NC legislature’s house and senate. While not veto proof they will be in charge of redistricting (and face litigation hell again). R Legislature is more of the late Tea Party variety economic with socon tendencies, but not moderate or RINO
    Emperor Cooper was reelected, so the beatings will continue on the covid front.
    Random tidbit, NC elected its first black Lt Gov who is wait for it ….Republican ?.

    • Viking1865

      “litigation hell again”

      How dare you. Your benevolent overlords in the federal judiciary are there to ensure that fairness is maintained. It would be totally impossible for a black politician to win a statewide election in a Southern state.

      “Random tidbit, NC elected its first black Lt Gov who is wait for it ….Republican”

      So not really black then.

      I have to say, the most disappointing thing about 2020 is just how many people actually have swallowed the COVID hysteria.

      • Gadfly

        So not really black then.

        Not according to our future president. What enlightened times we live in.

    • DEG

      Random tidbit, NC elected its first black Lt Gov who is wait for it ….Republican.

      I saw that. I smiled.

      No chances of reigning Cooper in with the new legislature?

      • Trials and Trippelations

        Tbh I haven’t taken a deep dive on state news/politics
        1. My zip code sucks and would keep restrictions even if the EOs were lifted
        2. Local media is definitely a TMITE outfit

        I do think Cooper vetoed any attempts by the current legislature to accelerate reopening like gyms, bars, capacity etc

      • DEG

        I do think Cooper vetoed any attempts by the current legislature to accelerate reopening like gyms, bars, capacity etc

        I remember reading about that.

  11. Viking1865

    I do love me some genre mashups. Fantasy and westerns? Good shit to whatever Glib wrote this.

    • commodious spittoon

      Is Dark Tower a fantasy western or sci fi western or just a cocaine-fueled mess?

      • The Gunslinger

        Yes

  12. DEG

    I like it.

  13. Count Potato

    So where are we now?

    1. Denial
    2. Anger
    3. Bargaining
    4. Depression
    5. Acceptance

    I was kind of on 4 already…

    • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

      3. You don’t steal elections and I don’t… you know nevermind

    • blackjack

      I’m stuck on 2. Seems like the only rational response.

    • Rebel Scum

      1.5

    • rhywun

      I’m hovering between 1 and 5.

    • straffinrun

      I never put faith in democracy, so I was at 5 all along.

    • MikeS

      After reading the news about Wisconsin, I went from a 5 to a 2.

    • Drake

      I’m trying to avoid all of it. The lawsuits and recounts are going to be endless. The rest of the GOP is worthless – just watching it happen without lifting a finger or saying a word.
      Also:
      6. Embarrassment.
      We have lost the ability to hold elections. The rest of the world must be laughing.

    • Viking1865

      I think Trump is gonna take it to the wire honestly. I think he sees the fraud in WI, PA, and MI as just another attempt by the corrupt establishment to fuck him over.

      Which, hey hes not wrong.

      https://twitter.com/shipwreckedcrew/status/1324104767052734464

      Now, it’s certainly possible that every single one of those extra 100,000 votes is a bona fide mail in ballot. That you had 100,000 completely legit voters who got tracked down by Dem activists with a legit mail in ballot and they filled it out and mailed it in 100% above board.

      But honestly, anyone who thinks that has never been to Philly.

  14. MikeS

    Oh my god. You people are still here?

    • Trials and Trippelations

      Holy shit

      • Tres Cool

        ERMAGERD!

    • straffinrun

      Hey! Mike S!

      • MikeS

        I like the new avatar…I think.

      • rhywun

        Squint.

      • MikeS

        Damn…I’ve been back for less than 30 minutes and you’re already bossing me around.

      • straffinrun

        It was a stroke of genis.

      • MikeS

        Kinda ballsy.

      • Cy

        Much Brave. So Woke.

    • DEG

      Howdy

    • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

      Hey!

    • Hyperion

      Until just now was 100% convinced you and Ted were the same person.

      • MikeS

        I used to like you.

      • Hyperion

        You can still like me.

      • MikeS

        Oh…OK then.

    • Mojeaux

      I know how much you love Steely Dan, so I got you this.

    • The Hyperbole

      What do you mean by “you people”

      Also, most of these people have entirely lost it and are definitely not ‘here’.

      • MikeS

        Sounds about right.

      • The Hyperbole

        You’ve been away, It’s “Hey Buddy, stop doing that” now

      • UnCivilServant

        You’re applying your own contribution wrong.

      • The Hyperbole

        Sounds about right

      • MikeS

        Hey Buddy, stop doing that.

      • Mojeaux

        Hey, you’re the one who broke your pickle.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Wait, I thought Scruffy was the one with the broken pickle.

  15. Fourscore

    I think I have to read the whole thing non-stop, I seem to be missing something. Interesting, even if I’m lost. Tomorrow and coffee. Thanks though, I am intrigued.

  16. DenverJ

    I’ve coined “the Jokalama administration”. What says the commentariat?

    • Tres Cool

      Jokalama Ding-Dong ?

    • rhywun

      Block Insane Yomala.

      • Trials and Trippelations

        Damn beat me to it

      • rhywun

        Takes you back, dunnit?

        Plus ça change…

      • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

        NO! Oh please for the love of all that holy do not call him that, I can’t take 4 years of seeing that daily.

    • MikeS

      Harris is Biden her time administration.

      • DenverJ

        Nice

    • Cy

      Joe won’t last 2 months.

      • rhywun

        Yeah, I doubt he makes it to January.

      • MikeS

        I’ve been thinking about doing this at work, maybe we could do it here too; start a pool for what month&year Kamala is sworn in as Pres.

      • Viking1865

        He steps down February of 2022. That lets Kamala run in both 24 and 28, when all ballots will be conducted via text message.

      • Cy

        Sub pool for if he: resigns, takes a happy pill or gets impeached by his own party.

        Other sub pool: what happens to Hunter?

      • R C Dean

        They won’t impeach him. He’ll resign when the Right People tell him it’s that or the 25th Amendment.

      • MikeS

        I hope he picks 25th Amendment. Watching the Repubs defending Biden from a charge of being unfit after spending a year claiming he is unfit is Must See TV.™

    • creech

      BidenhertimeHarris

  17. Hyperion

    My wife is trying to console me and I love her for that.

    She was alive and actually experienced a real military dictatorship.

    Our own snowflakes know nothing of this. They need to know. No matter how much I suffer, I will enjoy every minute of their dumb fuck clueless face.

  18. straffinrun

    If there was a way to find out exactly how many fraudulent votes there were, what do you think the electoral college would look like today? How does voter fraud breakdown between Reps/Dems? Does it even matter anymore?

    • Tres Cool

      No to belabor a point, but “….its not who votes that matters….” is an old adage.
      I think we’re in a time now that the gov’t doesn’t give a shit, and has been bolder and more blatantly showing they can do w/e they want, and people won’t a damn thing about it.

      • straffinrun

        It’s possible Biden would’ve won anyways. But, we’ll never know because the Tamany Hall style big city dem machines have all the enforcement agencies.

      • RAHeinlein

        The night they drove old Dixie down.

      • Tres Cool

        The night the lights went out in Georgia ?

      • RAHeinlein

        The night Chicago died?

      • The Gunslinger

        Bye bye Miss American Pie.

    • Count Potato

      Denver is the next Portland?

  19. straffinrun

    “ How can u bring up principals and some1 that supports TRUMP ….U sound Ignorant have u even looked into Trump and his Principles ur a Clown face for that 1 lol”

    I’ve been tweeter p’wnd by Prince having a stroke.

    • Ownbestenemy

      You got reked

      • straffinrun

        I’m not your princiPAL, Buddy.

    • rhywun

      u mad bro

  20. Count Potato

    “FoxNews call of Arizona was indefensible. Even lefties are saying this. Why did Fox want to suppress the Trump vote?”

    https://twitter.com/Cernovich/status/1324186787963572225

    Because Fox being right wing is just marketing bullshit.

    • Count Potato

      “If, and it’s a big “if,” Fox News was wrong about Arizona, they could have been responsible for the wrong man being elected. At the very least they would have some serious explaining to do.”

      https://twitter.com/RealJamesWoods/status/1324184501237424128

    • MikeS

      I’ll ask the question many of the replies do; weren’t the polls already closed? How is that suppression?

      • Raven Nation

        According to many of the replies the answer is “Paul Ryan.”

        Yeah, I don’t get it either.

      • Count Potato

        From what I read, there were still people in line.

    • rhywun

      I caught a couple minutes of Karl Fucking Rove arguing with Hannity over this shit. That was… odd.

    • Chipwooder

      Whoopsie! We totally forgot about these before!

      • Viking1865

        Votes are kept on fucking flash drives now? You can carry 20,000 votes in your pocket?

        Jesus fucking Christ, at least in the old day you had to sneak a box of ballots in someone’s car trunk.

      • Plinker762

        Remember when we couldn’t trust Diebold machines?

      • slumbrew

        Ah, the good ol’ days.

      • Gadfly

        Indeed. A found flash drive was how Evers won the WI gov in 2018, IIRC. It’s a neat trick.

      • CPRM

        ‘How to win an election with this one weird trick, Republicans hate it.”

    • Count Potato

      OFFS!!

    • straffinrun

      We conclude (((That message is approved))) and (((what the people need to see)))

      Took 3 replies for ZH comments to hit the ((( ))). They slacking.

  21. straffinrun

    Hopefully, as of January, the written test at the DMV will contain questions solely related to Critical Race Theory.

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      The right of way is given to the driver with the most oppression points.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Bumper stickers must be on the front bumper.

      • straffinrun

        Affirmative action to pass the test. Why not?

  22. slumbrew

    Text from my sister:

    “I have seen a lot of hate spewed in recent days about a man who is a constant winner and overachiever, and that’s what the people who support him like about him.

    Yes, he’s been caught in some lies and maybe twisted the truth a little but he’s still out there proving his haters wrong time after time. Some people are just jealous of someone who is successful and has money.

    Throw in a hot foreign model at his side and they hate him even more. You may not have wanted him in his role, but he’s there now and there’s nothing you can do about it.

    I know it’s possibly just going to get worse over the next several days, but like him or not, Tom Brady is turning things around in Tampa.”

    When she’s right, she right.

    • straffinrun

      Your sis is funny.

      • slumbrew

        I’m certain that’s copypasta, but it’s good stuff

      • Count Potato

        It’s an old joke.

    • rhywun

      I’m just amused at how the schedule is arranged around him. Like, nationwide coverage every single week.

      • slumbrew

        The TV schedule, sure – future HOF player, arguably the greatest QB ever, changes teams for the first time in his career; 6 SB rings and now aiming for a 7th on a Bucs team that’s just mortgaging their future to win NOW*. It’s a hugely interesting story.

        * I haven’t actually looked at it, but I assume they’re blowing up their future salary cap space with their moves this year. Maybe one and done, if Brady retires, then another couple of decades of wandering in the wilderness.

      • Viking1865

        They’re in pretty good shape. They have 30 million in cap for next year, which is Brady’s last year under contract. They do have upcoming free agents that need be kept, if they want to keep Godwin, Barrett, or Lavonte David that gets pretty right.

    • Mojeaux

      Brady and Belichick seem a little lost without each other.

      • slumbrew

        They spent 20 years together. It’s a huge adjustment, I’m sure.

        For BB, the Pats were decimated by covid hold-outs, injuries and other departures (plus Belichick’s below-average drafting – his one glaring weakness).

        For Brady, a new playbook and offense, a new head coach, a new team, a new city for the first time in his career. Think of that – 20 years with one system, never knew another.

  23. straffinrun

    I’m sure the next election will be fair.

    • Animal

      What next election?

      • slumbrew

        One man, one vote, one time.

        (thankfully we’re not there. yet)

      • Gustave Lytton

        My wife texted me yesterday that the good thing about socialism is we only have to vote once.

      • straffinrun

        Too convenient a fig leaf for the pols to give up.

  24. Count Potato

    Twitter is trying to block everything.

    “AZ update: apparently the use of sharpie pens in gop precincts is causing ballots to be invalidated. Could be huge numbers of mostly Trump supporters. More to come”

    https://twitter.com/mschlapp/status/1324031623785029634

  25. Count Potato

    “As of this writing, it appears that Democratic Party machines in Michigan, Wisconsin, and Pennsylvania are trying to steal the election.

    As reporters and commentators went to bed early Tuesday morning, all three states were too close to call, but President Trump led former Vice President Joe Biden by comfortable margins—far beyond what had been predicted in the polls. None of the networks called these states because enough mail-in ballots remained uncounted that it could swing either way, but Trump’s position looked good.

    Then, something strange happened in the dead of the night. In both Michigan and Wisconsin, vote dumps early Wednesday morning showed 100 percent of the votes going for Biden and zero percent—that’s zero, so not even one vote—for Trump.

    In Michigan, Biden somehow got 138,339 votes and Trump got none, zero, in an overnight vote-dump.

    When my Federalist colleague Sean Davis noted this, Twitter was quick to censor his tweet, even though all he had done was compare two sets of vote totals on the New York Times website. And he wasn’t the only one who noticed—although on Wednesday it appeared that anyone who noted the Biden vote dump in Michigan was getting censored by Twitter.”

    https://thefederalist.com/2020/11/04/yes-democrats-are-trying-to-steal-the-election-in-michigan-wisconsin-and-pennsylvania/

  26. Gustave Lytton

    So if elections offices illegally counted invalid ballots that were mixed in with valid ballots, what then? How do you unring that bell?

    • CPRM

      You don’t. -New POTUS

  27. slumbrew

    FYI, the Fox News website outage earlier was not some sort of attack. Someone dun fucked up. Just saw details on what happened – pure human error.

  28. PieInTheSky

    So is it official yet?

    Morning glibsters. How was your evening?

    • Gustave Lytton

      No, it’s not officially morning yet.

      • PieInTheSky

        Off course it is. I have coffee

      • CPRM

        He should have pulled a Jill Stein and demanded recounts for Hillary Trump. ( Yes, the 2016 Wisconsin recount wasn’t on behalf of Hillary, somehow it was Stein so Hillary could save face)

  29. CPRM

    Took my nephew out for lunch for his 8th birthday. I hate it when adults imprint their political views on kids who don’t understand, but it can be kind of funny to. He said “if Trump wins, then there will be a zombie apocalypse.” Is there a word for something that is both cute and depressing at the same time? I’m sure there is a german word, probably something like Druntenfrentonishtonfeitlogen.

    • zwak

      There is actually. Its Scheiiiisssssee…

  30. Gustave Lytton

    TCM is running a trailer for ” How to Steal the World”. Are they trying to say something?

  31. CPRM

    STEVE SMITH HAVE HEART OF ARTIST, BY ARTIST MEAN RAPIST SAX PLAYER.

  32. CPRM

    maybe the most 90s of 90s pop? I wonder what happened to the ‘girl’ I met in a chat room and emailed with for a few years in late 90s/ early ots.

    • Ayn Random Variation

      +2 Tiffany and Debbie Gibson

      • Unreconstructed

        Dood…Tiffany and Debbie Gibson were 80s pop, not 90s.

      • Ayn Random Variation

        Damn I’m old

      • Unreconstructed

        Yeah…and I’m not…oh wait, I am 🙁

    • CatchTheCarp

      Brittany Spears voice grates my ears, she sounds like she’s singing thru her nose.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Just turn off the volume, I mean, that was what she was selling anyway.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I was partial to Jewel…as long as she didn’t smile.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I should clarify, I was partial to Jewel because it was getting me laid with my girlfriend who adored her.

      • CPRM

        Oh, so the same reason my older brother had the Titanic Soundtrack.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I liked her in Johnny English.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Lisa Loeb was a solid wood as a teenage boy of the 90s.

      • Ayn Random Variation

        Oh now I remember the 90s. It was like rain on my wedding day with my Wonderall and all those Seattle bands that sounded the same.

  33. Ownbestenemy

    Apparently it is the media calling MI and not the Secretary of State?

    https://mielections.us/election/results/2020GEN_CENR.html#

    Seems Trumpolo has every right to be pippin mad. Those tallies are as of 10 minutes ago. Seems the media applying some chicanery here. Almost like they are calling states based on exit polling and their last attempt to remain relevant.

    • Ayn Random Variation

      Wtf?

    • CPRM

      “Counties 81 of 83”

      I’m guessing those last two counties are the ones where they aren’t letting the Drumpf people monitor the counting. +200,000 votes for Biden!

    • Ownbestenemy

      Just odd I suppose. I guess some precincts could have leaked out the information of what they were seeing but doesn’t excuse the media jumping the gun. In a sane just world they shouldn’t report anything other than what the SoS reports, as they are the the primary election official.

    • Unreconstructed

      Funny…Google’s results show MI as called for Biden, but as of 7 minutes ago, the SOS still had Trump at 51% of the vote…

      • Ownbestenemy

        Well, DDHQ, which serves many of the media companies forecast their numbers.

        “DDHQ works with election specialists, data scientists and electoral GIS experts to create various complementary data feeds to support newsrooms and research focused organizations. ”

        The media just needs to go to straight reporting of SoS verified data.

        Google is using AP, which states “On election night, race callers in each state are equipped with detailed information from our election research team, including demographics, the number of absentee ballots, and political issues that may affect the outcome of races they must call”

        Its all a game and one the people lose.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Interesting how there’s a 55k vote differences between Biden and the D senate candidate. Only 3k difference between Trump and the R senate candidate.

  34. Ayn Random Variation

    In good news, I just found out about a free streaming service called Tubi, that has all kinds of old movies like Plan 9 from outer space, the Kentucky Fried Movie, and The Cheap Detective. It’s a treasure trove of classics that should get me through this epic travesty of an “election “

    • slumbrew

      I’ve heard of Tubi, haven’t checked it out yet.

      Surprised Kentucky Fried Movie hasn’t been memory-holed yet, if only because of “Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker”

      • Unreconstructed

        Brothers Without Soul wouldn’t do the trick?

      • slumbrew

        That was “Amazon Women On The Moon”, from a decade later (though John Landis directed both).

      • Unreconstructed

        Ah, sorry…old drunken memories got conflated.

  35. PieInTheSky

    I think officials should stop counting and declare states for which candidate feels right to them…

    • CPRM

      Michigan Identifies as a Blue state.

  36. grrizzly

    I’ve just watched the first episode of Deutschland 89. I expected that it would be released a year from now: it pays off paging through American Express’s Departures magazine. It was exciting to see people rushing to the Wall after watching on TV a confusing announcement that they might be allowed to leave their socialist fatherland. Too bad I don’t see many people longing for freedom on the streets around here.

      • CPRM

        Most transmission is happening indoors

        So the Trump rallies and Sturgis WERE safe? Or we need to wear masks at home? If you wear a mask all the time while not at home, and it magically stops the virus, then how does it get in your home to spread?….

      • slumbrew

        er,

        “””
        When community transmission is high, masks outdoors AND indoors are necessary
        #ScienceMatters
        “””

        She(?) gets savaged in reply, at least.

        This was a nice link:

        https://rationalground.com/more-mask-charts/

      • Ownbestenemy

        Either masks have no impact OR *adjusts tin-foil hat* SCIENTISTS knew it would accelerate the transmission if people wore anything short of a N95 mask and thus keep the “just 2 weeks” goal post forever moving. *sneezes*

      • Ayn Random Variation

        HOW DARE YOU!!!

    • CPRM

      East Berliners were so excited they could finally show their family and friends in West Berlin how awesome life was in East Berlin, they tore down that wall so the Westerners could come and marvel at the utopia they were missing out on.

      • Unreconstructed

        Bob? Baghdad Bob?

      • Ayn Random Variation

        Don’t believe what you see with your eyes. Do as you are told.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        I can’t help but admire the tailoring of that suit.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Fauci’s biggest sin is wearing button down shirts with his suits.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Well that and being a fucking Nats fan.

      • Gustave Lytton

        My MLB team roster is frozen in 1987.

      • slumbrew

        Same. That’s nicely cut.

        I believe I’ve shared some of the Hugo Jacomet videos before; they’re pretty great.

    • slumbrew

      Are you still an incel if there are a million fewer women than men in your country?

      • Heroic Mulatto

        That would make your celibacy pretty involuntary, yes. Or you can afford to purchase a trafficked Burmese wife, but choose not to.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Only if you mom isn’t able to find a girl for you at the local park’s marriage market.

    • CPRM

      China really is a place where Incels might become a political problem.

      • Unreconstructed

        Who will declare their crusade, and against whom?

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Well, judging on current events– “Modi” and “1 billion screaming Indians streaming over the Himalayas.”

      • Unreconstructed

        The strategic genius…who would expect an attack over the Himalayas! /Romans pre-Hannibal

  37. CPRM

    So, when Man in the High castle came out in 2015 I watched the 1st season, but wasn’t excited enough to tune in for the 2nd season. Now that there is nothing on I’m going back watching the rest….but I find myself wondering, what happened to the USSR, China and the expansion of communism in this time line? It just kind of gets ignored. (at least through season 2 where I’m at)

    • PieInTheSky

      Well if the Axis won I assume China was taken over by japan and USSR by Germany. SO there is no expansion of communism

    • Heroic Mulatto

      I don’t know about the show, but in the novel, the USSR falls to a successful Operation Barbarossa and Japan conquers all of East Asia.

      • CPRM

        Yeah, that would be my assumption, but it’s just not addressed at all through the show. So I’m often wondering if Hitler and the USSR hadn’t broken their pact, or what. I mean, I know show writers are generally clueless about reality, they show maps of the Reich and the Japanese empire, but I never noticed it even shown there.

      • hayeksplosives

        Maybe because Show producers and writers continuously underestimate their audiences, they assume viewers can’t cope with “Hitler=bad, Russia=bad, how can they be enemies?”

        How many Americans know that Hitler and Stalin started with a pact, then Germany invaded the Soviet Union? 60%? 80%?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        10% at best, history is boring…..

      • Raven Nation

        How many know the pact included the Soviets invading eastern Poland?

      • Raven Nation

        I’m pretty sure in some of the later episodes there are maps or statements about Russia and Africa.

    • PieInTheSky

      Well this has been mostly known since march…

    • PieInTheSky

      aren’t we full of links today

    • PieInTheSky

      also toilet paper is a capitalist bourgeois affectation not a necessity in a workers paradise

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        We also don’t wipe our asses with sand paper, keep on uniting, workers of the world…..

      • Gender Traitor

        When there’s nothing to eat, there’s nothing to shit.

      • PieInTheSky

        there is rats and tree bark and old boots… lots of fiber gets the bowel moving

    • PieInTheSky

      meh

      • PieInTheSky

        it is not evening.

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, the only remaining greeting is “Fuck off, Tulpa”.

    • Gender Traitor

      Morning, UCS & Pie.

      • PieInTheSky

        I wish you a day with fewer pointless meetings than mine

      • UnCivilServant

        Have you had any thoughts on character names/codenames?

      • Gender Traitor

        It’s tempting to call the hillbilly hero “HoldMyBeerMan, ” but then I say “Nah.”

        Now that I’ve had a decent night’s sleep, maybe I’ll get better ideas.

      • UnCivilServant

        Hey, it got me to laugh.

        But yeah, It wouldn’t work in the tone of the books.

      • Gender Traitor

        Then my day has already been a success.

        I’m going swimming after work. That’s always a good time for thinking – can’t really do anything else.

      • Festus' Mustache

        Breathing air is an important consideration (not a very strong swimmer).

      • Gender Traitor

        I stick to the backstroke so I don’t have to concentrate on NOT opening my mouth underwater.

      • Festus' Mustache

        #metoo. I never mastered the forward crawl. I was clumsy as a child.

    • Festus' Mustache

      Mornin’, Big Guy.

      • UnCivilServant

        Hop you had a good overnight. I’m answering work emails.

        It’s thrilling. /end sarc

      • UnCivilServant

        That’s a more valuable contribution than anything I do.

      • Festus' Mustache

        I am appreciated at one my of sites so I go the extra mile for them. The other are bitchy Karens that I never interact with much so they treat me like shit on their shoe. Service industry can be a harsh mistress.

  38. The Late P Brooks

    Serious journalisming, for serious people

    Rather than taking office with humility, President Trump interpreted his unlikely and unrepeatable victory as an invitation to speak to, govern for, and care about only his hardest-core supporters and to regard every other American and their hopes, dreams, and fears as not only irrelevant but illegitimate. He didn’t spend a single moment of a single day in office reaching out to people who didn’t vote for him, or pretending to care about states that he would likely lose in 2020. Each day of his presidency he discovered new and previously unimagined ways to undermine American democracy and to debase himself and his party.

    Worse, he approached the Black Swan of the COVID-19 pandemic entirely through the lens of his re-election. More than 230,000 Americans are dead, with cases spiking all around the country as we head into winter, and the president’s closing message was to hold rallies where disease and disinformation spread easily. He babbled nonsensically about “rounding the turn” on the virus and accused doctors of taking money to falsify causes of death and mused preposterously that no one would care about the coronavirus on Nov. 4 because the whole thing was a media-driven plot to tank his popularity and hand the election to Joe Biden. His shambolic indifference to this tragedy was a strategy. And more than 70 million people lapped it up. They looked upon this ruined landscape of hate and fear and said, “More.”

    There is a Democratic majority in this country, but it will be wearing the straitjacket of minority rule for at least two more years. Confronting that reality and finding a path forward will soon be the most important challenge facing Biden and the Democrats.

    The truth, and nothing but.

    • Festus' Mustache

      TMAC. Bloody ‘ell!

    • Raven Nation

      That’s interesting. I mean, it’s full of blather, but it’s also assuming a Biden failure.

    • rhywun

      Even if Trump were to wave a magic wand to stop ballot counting everywhere, at the moment he would still lose.

      I thought he wants to “stop ballot counting” because election sites are unlawfully barring observers from catching them cheating. ??‍♂️

  39. The Late P Brooks

    That’s interesting. I mean, it’s full of blather, but it’s also assuming a Biden failure.

    Sadly, no. “Taking office” refers to 2016, and the “unimagineable” damage to democracy wrought since then, if that’s what you meant.

    He’s whining about how Biden will be handcuffed by the failure of Americans to elect a government composed exclusively of progressive Democrats.

  40. Festus' Mustache

    I was in a real-ass funk all day about this attempt to steal an election and I’m not sure why. I don’t live in America and most of this won’t affect me personally. Then it dawned on me that it offends my admittedly nearly OCD sense of fair play. That and the fact that my virtual friends and neighbors on this site could be harmed. Gloomy, shitty November weather don’t help much, neither. I hope Trump brings down the Temple ala Sampson on his way out if he is indeed ousted. I don’t know where I’d be right now without this site. Probably obsessing less about your politics and vegging in front of the TV, continuing to be a much less well-rounded individual. Thank you, Glibertariat! The scales fell from my eyes in early 2017 when I followed the rebels here.

  41. The Late P Brooks

    We have to identify the sneaky not-even-sick victims who are slipping through our net, so we can inflate the numbers and frighten the rubes even more

    “Now is the time to develop a testing strategy to maximize our ability to identify the silent epidemic of asymptomatic COVID-19 infections,” Redfield tweeted Wednesday. By the CDC’s estimate, 40% of people with Covid-19 show no symptoms.

    Mandatory testing, forcibly if necessary; in workplaces, in homes. We’ll show you how devastating this disease is, one way or another.

    Is Biden going to object?

    • Festus' Mustache

      Object? Jesus Christ on toast, that’s tasty nub-nubs to him!

  42. limey

    Did the clocks change in ‘merica? Where are the links? Oh dear Lord I needs ma links. Please help.

    *flails arms frantically*

    • UnCivilServant

      yeah, we had a 25 hour day on Nov 1st. I’ts only 7:06 am here. Still an hour to go.

    • rhywun

      Yes. You’re an hour early.

    • Festus' Mustache

      We voted to rid ourselves of the change but the spineless ruling party won’t implement it until the entire western seaboard is in agreement which will take an act of Congress. So for now I get to be fucked up the Circadian in a rhythmic manner and it’s dark by five.

  43. The Late P Brooks

    And then comes this:

    Dr. Thomas Tsai of the Harvard Global Health Institute told CNN in an email the time to develop a national testing strategy to identify asymptomatic Covid-19 infections passed a few months ago.
    “But that ship has sailed,” Tsai said. “Now is the time to implement a testing strategy focused on screening of asymptomatic individuals.”

    What in the everloving fuck does that mean?

    “It’s too late to do it. We have to start doing it right now!”

  44. rhywun

    Looks like Antifa was busy last night. I guess their work is not done yet.

    • Festus' Mustache

      Dem-op shock troops.

  45. The Late P Brooks

    Looks like Antifa was busy last night. I guess their work is not done yet.

    Doin’ right ain’t got no end.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Haven’t read the news. Are they rioting and committing arson or are they rioting and beating people up?

      • rhywun

        Yes.

      • Festus' Mustache

        BLM/Antifa stabbed four counter protestors in Washington DC either last night or the night before. One of them was that thicc Black lady that defaced the street mural. Either that or it could be any number of things. I’ve been avoiding the news media for the last day or two except for linked bits from here.

      • straffinrun

        Avoid if you can, Festus. It’s retard* time.

        *Unless you have cake

      • Festus' Mustache

        Wifey is away starting tomorrow. I have meat pies. Marie Celeste meat pies.

      • Sean

        Night before, I believe.

        Bevelyn Beatty is her name.

      • Festus' Mustache

        Cut the one dude’s neck. That’s attempted murder right there and nothing will ever happen.

  46. The Late P Brooks

    I was in a real-ass funk all day about this attempt to steal an election and I’m not sure why. I don’t live in America and most of this won’t affect me personally. Then it dawned on me that it offends my admittedly nearly OCD sense of fair play.

    Those thousand points of light, to the south of you? Those are the dying embers of a once-great nation.

    • Festus' Mustache

      Hank III is a treasure and he ain’t half wrong but in my case there is a lot more Honkin’ and somewhat diminished Tonkin’ 😉

  47. rhywun

    New York City’s high-rise residents are finding themselves at war with their neighbors. The battleground? The elevator, which has become high-stakes territory in the larger fight against COVID-19.

    New reduced-capacity rules — most buildings limit capacity to four riders at a time and require masks — are causing clashes: […]

    O RLY? That’s news to me. Poking around the site, I don’t see any evidence of such a “rule”.

    • UnCivilServant

      You have an elevator?

      I’m jealous, I don’t even have stairs.

      • rhywun

        Yes, I’m on the top floor, 6.

        I’m five days into a new lease ?
        but something like this would just add to the pile of reasons I want out of this building.

  48. straffinrun

    I’m on the airplane going from Tokyo to Shikoku. We land and I tell my wife, “We’ve been flying all day and, Man, are my arms tired. I jerked off in the lavatory”.

    Crickets. She’s probably right.

    • Festus' Mustache

      Tough crowd. I’d bet she’d laugh if some random kid on the plane gave you that butt-hole sneak attack that is weirdly popular over there. Starts with a “K”?

  49. The Late P Brooks

    Jumping Jeezis on a diamond encrusted Chinesium pogo stick. The Bloombergeoisie are moaning and groaning about how there is not a co-ordinated takeover of the entire economy by the Federal reserve and the Treasury. We should be more like Limeyland.

    We need to lock down the country and send everybody UBI checks. Paradise awaits!

    • UnCivilServant

      I thought the Pair-a-Dice was a Vegas off-strip strip joint and casino.

      • Festus' Mustache

        Ha! That’s the nickname we gave to my Buddy’s little sister when she began “developing”…

      • Festus' Mustache

        Couple of years younger than us and of course turned into a total smoke show. Gee, I wonder why she would never give any of us the time of day?

  50. The Late P Brooks

    More wisdom from the Public Safety cultists:

    Face masks, a powerful tool that doctors and public health officials have vouched for in the battle against the virus, can help save tens of thousands of lives in the coming months, one leading expert helped emphasize this week.

    Dr. Francis Collins, director of the National Institutes of Health, has highlighted predictions of the University of Washington’s IHME model, which projects more than 130,000 lives could be saved in the US from now to March if 95% of Americans wore masks.

    “What’s important here aren’t the precise numbers,” Francis wrote in a blog post . “It’s the realization that, under any scenario, this pandemic is far from over, and, together, we have it within our power to shape what happens next.”

    You mean their model which is constructed around the a priori premise that masks prevent transmission? That model?

    • Festus' Mustache

      Fear is a “powerful tool”. Cunte.

    • rhywun

      “You don’t need a face-mask.”

      /excerpt from the first publicly-posted sign about this shit that I saw in my building. Official words from the grand poo-bah Bill himself.