Jewsday Tuesday Election Special

by | Nov 3, 2020 | Jews | 434 comments

Part of the weekly Torah reading is the Haftorah, which you’d think would be half a Torah, but it’s not. Basically, some rabbis (usually dead, white, and male) got together and said, “Look, those (((civilians))) are paying too much attention to the Torah and ignoring the later books. Yeah, we know those are the trash books, but we need the filler.” So as part of the Torah reading, they tacked on chapters from the trash books, supposedly chosen to have some parallel with that week’s Torah reading. Haf as good, but still, obligatory.

But interestingly, this week’s Haftorah is almost apropos. The Torah reading is from Genesis, where Abraham hosts some angels who tell him, “Bang that dried up old wife of yours, Sarah, and you’ll knock her up.” Which he did and, despite her skepticism, she did as well. In the meantime, Lot is drinking wine and fucking his daughters after getting his wife turned into salt. It’s all very confusing.

What’s not confusing is the Haftorah, which comes from Second Kings and deals with a theme familiar to anyone who watches silent movies, Dudley Dooright, and PornHub: a widow is behind on her rent. Unfortunately, unlike the familiar versions of the story, she was not particularly MILFy, so the evil landlord did not make the usual offer of services in lieu of rent payment. She had to come up with the money, and that was tough because unemployment was high and her dead husband’s pension fund had been gobbled up by greedy billionaires.

There was only one alternative: the two kids. Human trafficking was a thing more out in the open in those days, and a couple of cute pre-pubescent boys might fetch a nice rental fee for the owner. This was the landlord’s logic, anyway, the landlord being a greedy billionaire.

Nor is offering up the kids unprecedented- remember Lot (the star of this week’s Sedra) offering up his daughters to a mob if they would agree to leave him alone? Haftorahs are like that, parallels in stories. In any case, along comes Elisha, the original Miracle Man. “Hey lady,” said he, “what’s the problem?” She explained that, through no fault of my own, I’ve lost my income and am about to get evicted.”

Elisha responded in his best Dave Ramsey manner, “Before you do anything drastic, let’s review your assets.” The widow sobbed, “I got nothin’. Just these two kids and a jar of oil.”

“AHA!” exclaimed Elisha, “We can work with this. Go grab some empties from your friends and neighbors.” Which she did. “Now, pour the oil into the first empty.” Which she did. “Now pour the oil into the second empty,” which she also did. “Now the next one.” The widow, who was reasonably quick on the uptake, noticed that no matter how many empties she filled, she didn’t run out of oil. And being of Hebraic disposition, she also noted that she could continue filling jars well past the point where she had enough to sell to pay the rent.

Eventually, she socked away a fortune in oil and lived happily ever after. It is fortunate for her that Jew scientists had not yet discovered Conservation of Mass-Energy.

So, here’s the takeaways:

  • There’s a long history of Middle Easterners making a fortune in oil that they just happened to come across.
  • When you can’t pay the rent, expect a bailout.
  • Wealth can be created by an increase in assets, not just an increase in money.
  • Governments can’t create assets out of thin air. It takes a miracle-working prophet to do that. All governments can do is take assets from others to give to you or just print more money.
  • We have no miracle-working prophets.
  • Prepare to whore out your kids. Elisha ain’t coming to help you.
  • The jars all came from friends and neighbors. She didn’t build that.

 

About The Author

Old Man With Candy

Old Man With Candy

Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me. Wait, wrong book, I'll find something else.

434 Comments

  1. UnCivilServant

    So, no one paid the potter to make more jars?

    • PieInTheSky

      jars used to grow on trees before evil capitalism

      • Cancelled

        They grow on flax.

  2. Count Potato

    “We have no miracle-working prophets.”

    Can you make the site faster?

    • UnCivilServant

      What part of no miracle-working prophets didn’t you understand?

      • juris imprudent

        Only profits make work faster!

    • R C Dean

      Those look like pavers. Its ridiculously easy to put them to good use in almost any landscape.

      Think appropriating them for your project as brick redistribution.

      • Drake

        Or a miracle performed by the Prophet Soros.

    • Urthona

      This seems like such an odd conspiracy. What’s the motive? Motivate team red more? Make them look better?

      • cyto

        I don’t understand it either, but there is unquestionably a human dynamic at play that allows this sort of violence to work.

        In the middle east, terror groups blow up people in the market, and the people support the terror groups. This is true in Iraq, Gaza, the West Bank, Egypt…. they use similar tactics in Africa.

        I cannot understand it even a little bit, but somehow making the government look weak by proving that they cannot protect you from us makes you want us in charge.

        This gave us the Islamic State, Hamas taking over the Palestinian Authority, Egyptian theocrats, etc.

        People in large groups are a scary thing.

      • juris imprudent

        Here that is going to get the terrorist-wannabes dead, real fucking quick.

      • Viking1865

        The conspiracy is that in a close election, the Soros/intel agency cabal can run the Color Revolution playbook, which is to turn out a big mob in the capital, which presents the media with the propaganda hook to portray that the government is illegitimate because LOOK AT THE MILLIONS OF PEOPLE IN THE STREET.

        There was a reason this summer the media jumped big time into the opposition in Belarus. They have a commie dictator who has been a commie dictator for 30 years, but 2020 was the first year the Western media decided to jump into a big flood the zone about the brave opposition to his tyrannical rule.

        If it’s close, you will absolutely see protesters in the streets of DC compared to the people in Belarus, in Cairo, in Tiananmen Square, at the Berlin Wall, the civil rights movement, etc etc.

      • robc

        I am not sure the antifa types are voting for Biden either. I think they are going to riot regardless of the outcome.

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      On a very random note, I’m building a pizza oven and discovered it’s nearly impossible to buy solid clay bricks anymore. I called Home Depot, Lowes, Ace, and locally owned hardware/building supply stores. You can buy bricks with the three holes in them or concrete paver bricks but solid clay bricks might as well be unicorns.

      Finally found a masonry plant that produces them and kindly agreed to sell 50 bricks to me despite normally being a b2b seller that distributes by the truckload.

      • Florida Man

        Anytime I ask for anything out of the ordinary, I always preface with “it’s totally fine if you can’t, I understand”. I wonder if that hurts my chances because the person knows I’m not going to give them the business if they brush me off.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I had to teach myself to not equivocate like that. What I see as polite, others see as me making it purely optional.

  3. KOVIDKristen

    Colleague who also lives in my district reporting no lines at his polling location. So everyone already voted, or Biden hasn’t been able to energize this 85% Dem district.

    Tulip – do you vote at the community center over there? Have you been today or did you vote early?

    • UnCivilServant

      I keep getting the feeling that no one is showing up to vote Biden.

      • C. Anacreon

        No one is actually voting ‘for’ Biden. His voters are voting for “not Trump”.

    • Tulip

      I vote at the school. Today – no line. In and out in less than 10 minutes.

    • C. Anacreon

      I just voted at my in-person site in the San Francisco East Bay suburbs. I was the only person in there voting, with about ten election volunteers seemingly very happy to see me. I brought in my unopened, automatically-sent-to-everyone-this-year mail-in ballot, which I thought was required, but they said they didn’t want it, but I could use the ballot inside for in-person voting, it was identical. So I filled out the mail-in ballot there in-person, but the difference was I got to enter the ballot into the electronic counter myself, and hear the satisfying bell and see the counter tally knowing my vote actually registered.

      After I left I heard on the radio that blue areas like mine had little to no crowds at the polls, because everyone had done mail-in. But red area polling stations were crowded. Apparently, unlike Ds, Republicans tend to like to vote in person.

    • Hyperion

      You know the real reason introverts are so quiet? It’s because extroverts are always talking and full of shit, it’s boring!

      • KOVIDKristen

        The people I get along with best are extroverts who have a general understanding of introverts and are willing to do some social heavy lifting as circumstances require.

      • Tundra

        So, me then?

      • Old Man With Candy

        Interesting. I’m an extrovert who married an introvert. It seems to have worked.

      • SP

        Which marriage was that?

      • KOVIDKristen

        (when I say social heavy lifting, I don’t mean one-on-one conversations – I am delightful conversationalists in very small groups. I mean at parties and shit like that. Like, please don’t leave me on my own at your cousin’s wedding!)

      • KOVIDKristen

        JFC

        *I am a delightful conversationalist

      • UnCivilServant

        I thought you were several groups of conversationalists. Now you’ve shattered my illusions.

        I haz a sad.

      • rhywun

        Interesting. I don’t really get along with other introverts myself, now that I think about it.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Well yeah its just sitting and starting at your feet waiting for the other to start up a conversation. And when you do, it is a 30-sec back and forth because what needed to be said, was said.

      • rhywun

        Heh, yup.

      • Ownbestenemy

        There is one caveat. Get two introverts talking about something are passionate about and then you can’t shut them up or even join the conversation without realizing they are basically talking a different language.

      • Surly Knott

        How can you tell you’re talking to an extroverted programmer?
        He’s staring at your shoes during the conversation.

  4. The Other Kevin

    Something is very different this year. I’ve voted every 4 years since 92. Never had to wait more than 30 minutes. Today it’s 90 minutes. I live in a very red county in a very red state. We know how it’s going to turn out. And yet way more people are turning out than I’ve ever seen.

    • Count Potato

      It will be funny if Trump wins the popular vote due to red state turnout.

      • The Other Kevin

        My gut is telling me that’s what’s happening. We’ll see if it works.

    • Hyperion

      It’s too late, just stay home! Early voting already gave Biden a 750 million vote lead and that’s like more votes than the entire country and you’re just going to spread the virus! Herpity derpity hurp durrrr!!!

      • juris imprudent

        Dude – CDC says voting is a perfectly safe activity even if you are spewing covid from every pore and orifice of your body. Go vote, no problems! This virus is truly a political miracle.

    • Bobarian LMD

      Here in KY, they really limited the number of polling places, so the wait is a lot longer, even though early voting was opened two weeks ago.

      • banginglc1

        Exactly what does that accomplish? More people crowded into a single area would increase the chance of lots of people catching it, would it not?

        Just another example of how all this shit is a farce.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Exactly. If I were a conspiracy monger, I’d accuse Gov Andy of purposely trying to spread the ‘Vid to shore up his sinking popularity.

        He looks on Gov Witmer and trembles in a jealous rage.

      • robc

        Is Louisville doing everyone voting at the Fairgrounds like they did for the primary?

    • Nephilium

      Usually it’s 15 minutes at most at my station. This year it was over 2 hours.

      There was someone handing out Democratic party “sample ballots”. I was tempted to ask for one just to vote the opposite on every single item.

      • cyto

        Anecdote from dem country in a purple state:

        I voted at the local civic center that is in the minority neighborhood last week. Attendance was sparse and both the wife and I were in and out without any delay, voting a few hours apart.

        Same day we met up with some friends from church for Halloween activities. A couple of them voted that day at a different civic center down the street a mile or two. It is in a better area at a big public park. They had what they described as a long wait in a majority white crowd.

        Coincidence, or mere occurrence?

      • cyto

        County.. Democrat dominated county.

        Got help me, I don’t need to live in a democrat dominated country.

      • Nephilium

        I live in an area that swings even in the regular elections. We’ve got a R for congress, a D for state rep, and as close to a 50/50 split as possible on most of the city councils around me. It’s a blue collar area with a (still) pretty strong pro-union base. FFS, the streets around the area are named after the car plants that are on them (Ford, Chevrolet, etc.). These same people also like hunting and guns.

        For early voting here, you have to go to the county board, which for me is downtown. I had no real pressing desire to go through the hassle of getting there to vote early, and I don’t exactly trust the USPS this year to handle ballots correctly.

      • cyto

        I wrote about this the other day – one of the people at that same gathering was a younger mom who didn’t ever impress me as being particularly conservative or particularly political.

        She was angrily not voting early – convinced that the Broward county elections folks would do something to her ballot. She was emphatically voting election day, explicitly out of mistrust of elections officials and a perceived intent to steal the election.

        I’m quite convinced that she was right on all counts.

    • Urthona

      3 seconds for me in Texas. As it always is.

    • banginglc1

      I don’t know if the Northwest part of the state has anything like this, but I’ve been watching it all morning for fun. It’s crazy, one location will have a two hour wait and one right down the street will have less than 5. I’m kinda glad more people don’t know about this site, so I don’t have to wait when I vote on my way home. (for those of you unfamiliar with Indiana Voting laws, you can vote at any location)

      • banginglc1

        And, I’ll assume you voted for me.

        ~ Vote BLC1 and the Veto Part into office:

        “What do we want?:” “Nothing!”

        “Whwn do we want it?:” (shrugs and walks away)

    • Not Adahn

      I live in a very red county in a very red state. We know how it’s going to turn out. And yet way more people are turning out than I’ve ever seen.

      Have you talked to them about writing in Semi-bright Border Collie?

      • ZARDOZ

        ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN VOTE STEERING ONE. WRONG! WRITE IN “ZARDOZ” – A CLEANSING AMERICA DESERVES!

      • Not Adahn

        I just don’t have faith in your campaign promises since I STILL haven’t received that” gift of the gun” you were talking about last time.

      • CPRM

        How quickly pop culture is forgotten, Am I Right?

      • Swiss Servator

        Well, did you join the Brutal Exterminators? Hmmm?

      • Not Adahn

        I never heard back from them once I sent in that required 8″x10″ full body shot of me in the uniform.

      • Not Adahn

        …that was a part of the application process, right? Or did I get catfished? Again.

  5. PieInTheSky

    Haftorah, which you’d think would be half a Torah – I certainly would not. I would expect it to be a Icelandic strongwoman competitor

    • pistoffnick

      “…Icelandic strongwoman competitor…”

      THAT’S MY FETISH!

      • KOVIDKristen

        Interesting…my fetish is Icelandic Strongmen!

      • CPRM

        I’ll play the ‘compromise’ role, how about we go with a pre-op transwoman, or are you not woke?!

      • KOVIDKristen

        Moar chest hair, less leather

    • Bobarian LMD

      Sounds like we just found out what’s in Pie’s browser history that needs to be erased when he dies.

  6. PieInTheSky

    So among the new features of glibertarians there should be a betting site. SO we can bet. On things. Like the election.

    1000 Bucks says Joe wins

    • UnCivilServant

      we’ll give you 0:1 odds.

    • Hyperion

      I’ve finally figured out why you are wishing misery and destruction on all your Murikan friends. It’s because you’re used to soulless creatures sucking the blood out of everyone.

      Prepare to change your posting name to CNN and eat Eel pie!

      • PieInTheSky

        I am not wishing anything. First of all this would imply that Trump is inherently better than Biden, which is not a fact but an opinion. Second, I really don’t see how Trump could win. I was fairly sure he could not 4 years ago and am even more sure now. The People will not vote for him. then again the people might, but it is unlikely.

      • PieInTheSky

        eat Eel pie! – can it be unagi sushi? I like that.

    • Lachowsky

      I bet a buddy of mine 100 bucks 4 years ago that Hillary would win. I’m convinced the only reason we got Trump is because I made that wager.

      • banginglc1

        I made the opposite bet. And won $100 from my assistant at work. It was glorious taking his wife’s money! (His wife was a pharmacist and the bread winner of the family. He only worked because he got bore being a stay at home dad when the kids hit school age).

    • Nephilium

      I think you would need to offer to host the site then, due to the lovely internet gambling laws.

    • Ted S.

      I wager 100 quatloos on the vampire.

  7. Sean

    I always enjoy Jewsday articles.

    • Tundra

      Me, too.

      • DEG

        Me three

  8. Lachowsky

    All governments can do is take assets from others to give to you or just print more money.

    This is a truth that needs to be beaten into the heads of the vast majority of the population of this country. A belief that governments can create anything at all is at the root of the problem here.

    • Hyperion

      Good luck. I’m still surprised at the total disbelief from progs when you tell them that the government has no money except for that they steal from tax payers. They actually think the government has all the money and are just so nice that they actually give us a little of it to keep.

    • PieInTheSky

      All governments can do is take assets from others to give to you or just print more money. – nonsense the Norwegian government owns a big oil company that makes money.

      • Lachowsky

        If the government owns it, then it was first taken from others.

      • PieInTheSky

        I don’t think those bits of the North Sea were ever owned… Now the original capital was from taxes , to be sure. But the assets were not simply transferred. they were invested in a somewhat productive fashion.

      • Swiss Servator

        At the monopolistic expense of more efficient private actors.

      • Cancelled

        ‘Private’ actors like Royal Dutch Shell? 🙂

    • Nephilium

      take assets from others to give to you or just print more money.

      Different sides of the same coin. Either way those with assets are worse off (inflation).

      At least until we hit that magical post-scarcity society in which socialism could work.

    • invisible finger

      Government is very good at creating corpses, red tape, and net losses.

  9. STEVE SMITH

    There’s a long history of Middle Easterners making a fortune in oil that they just happened to come across.

    HAHAHAHA! STEVE SMITH LIKE FUNNY OMWC!

  10. CatchTheCarp

    Just returned from voting – 2 hours of waiting in line. Presidential elections are always heavy here but in past elections I never waited longer than 45 minutes. They had a person counting the number of people in line every 20 minutes – when I arrived I was number 261. I spent most of my time people watching – always interesting what you notice. A heavy set frumpy looking woman in her mid 50’s with short hair with just the back of of her head dyed a shade of purple not found in nature. Wasn’t a good look. Several extremely over-weight people older people who appeared to be struggling standing in line. One big woman decided to sit down on the floor for few a minutes – she had to be helped back to her feet. I reckon 40% were constantly in head down mode diddling on their phones. I saw a young man who brought his laptop with him and appeared to working. His arms are going to be tired holding that thing for 2 hours. They had put down strips of blue painters tape once you got inside the building to keep social distance – the space between each piece of type was at least 12 feet. People respecting the tape were rare, most kept a 4 – 6 ft gap. There was man and woman in front of me who kept up a steady conversation the entire time in line. They would get really close to the group 3 people who were in front of them. I kept noticing one of the guys in the group of 3 who kept turning around and giving the couple the stink eye for being to close. He never said a word and the couple were oblivious to his glancing looks. Thankfully the staff checking people in were well organized and kept the line moving along.

    • KOVIDKristen

      What’s your district’s general leaning? Red? Blue? Purple?

      • CatchTheCarp

        It used to be a solid red district but has definitely taken on a more purplish hue over the last 4 years – just going by the number of Biden and BLM signs I see planted in the yards in my neighborhood.

    • PieInTheSky

      Several extremely over-weight people older people who appeared to be struggling standing in line. One big woman decided to sit down on the floor for few a minutes – she had to be helped back to her feet. – two things. one, these seem covid vulnerable. two, you could have advertised glibfit, throw some clicks the website’s way

  11. Florida Man

    I’m just going to come out it say it. I like Jews Day Tuesday the best, even over the spectacular Subaru horror theater and Hat & Hair.

    • Old Man With Candy

      ANTISEMITISM!

      • Florida Man

        JDT is like the McRib. You never know when you’re going to get it, so you lose your mind when it shows up.

      • Ownbestenemy

        *subtle clap*

      • Seguin

        Are McRibs kosher? We all know they arent real meat, but they’re pretending to be pork. I think.

      • Seguin

        Wouldn’t that be Pro Semitism? Or is that a category in the Money Olympics?

    • SP

      Everyday is Jewsday at my house. Sometimes the charm wears a little thin. 😉

      • Florida Man

        Familiarity breeds contempt. Say no more.

      • Old Man With Candy

        No, it’s me that breeds contempt.

      • banginglc1

        I thought they were too young to breed?

  12. cyto

    The democrat media spend in South Florida continues unabated. Strike that, it accelerated by quite a bit.

    Today I’m seeing a metric crap-ton of race baiting. I’ve mostly been online, so that’s where I’ve seen the ads. The primary ad is a black man with tears streaming down his cheeks, shot in stark black and white. His voice trembles as he provides voiceover to images of 1960’s segregation protests. “State sanctioned violence against our people…”

    He emotionally remembers all the warriors who died fighting oppression to obtain the right to vote (forget it, he’s on a roll). It morphs into a rapper delivering a hip and today (if this is the 90’s) song about voting and how whitey doesn’t want you to vote but it is super important that you go vote because you are black.

    That one has popped up at least 10 times today. I finally watched it hoping to find out who was paying, but it keeps going with the rap far too long and I lost interest.

    • Bobarian LMD

      I’m CornPop, and I approve this message?

    • WTF

      images of 1960’s segregation protests. “State sanctioned violence against our people…”

      By Democrats.

  13. Lachowsky

    Everytime i go to Wal-mart on food stamp day, i get to see a sample of the people who will be choosing who gets to run the country for the next 4 years.

    I’m thinking i might go vote today, just to vote against Tom Cotton. He is running against a libertarian and no democrat, so it might be worth voting against that asshole.

    • PieInTheSky

      you seem to be dehumanizing the poor there sport

    • cyto

      Make it happen!

    • Gadfly

      Man, your Democrats must be either incompetent or resigned to a loss if they didn’t even bother to put up a candidate when the LP did.

    • Idle Hands

      pretty sure that voting is a right and duty in north korea as well.

  14. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Prepare to whore out your kids. Elisha ain’t coming to help you.

    I knew I had kids for a reason.

    • Florida Man

      How much for your women?

      • Bobarian LMD

        *Catches a flipped shrimp in the mouth*

  15. Mojo Jojo

    You know what? Fuck them. Fuck them all with a thousand barbed penises in the ass without lube.

    Ballot language: “vote yes to not do what you don’t want to do” and “vote no to do what you want to do”.

    Fuck them.

    • Ownbestenemy

      You were expecting clear language? Didn’t you or did you not attend the meeting?

      • Mojo Jojo

        It doesn’t matter how hard I study and research, I still can’t make heads or tails of it. This is where I’m so glad I never went to law school.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Completely agree Mo…even studious persons look at some of these ballot questions and scratch their heads. It is of my opinion if it cannot be understood by a 6th grader, the language and meaning, not the impact, then it shouldn’t be on the ballot.

      • Mojo Jojo

        There is too much politics and subtext working underneath the language to be able to do so. They worded it that way for a reason, but the reason cannot be found unless you’re part of the cabal as friends or enemies.

      • CatchTheCarp

        Totally agree, the way ballot measures are worded is entirely to complicated and difficult to understand.

        Ballotpedia has a “readability” score on ballot wording complexity based on a couple of different formulas. Page down to the bottom of the link below to see each states ballot wording complexity score. Crazy.

        https://ballotpedia.org/Ballot_measure_readability_scores,_2020#Flesch-Kincaid_Grade_Level.

      • Florida Man

        how does that work? I mean, aren’t people just as likely to get confused and vote against what the author wanted?

      • Plisade

        Maybe it makes people more likely to vote as they’re told rather than to be able to read it and think for themselves.

      • Mojo Jojo

        It’s easier to manipulate people through confusion, but I don’t know who writes these things.

      • Ownbestenemy

        It works as intended. Hate Radio told me to vote for A, MSM told me to vote for B, so that’s how I vote. I don’t have time to think about these things that will affect my life until it does and then I will spend hours on social media complaining about it.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Narcotics Anonymous?

      • Ownbestenemy

        Well we shared a cup of coffee didn’t we?

    • Nephilium

      Here they’re usually pretty good for the levy issues at least. They all have For the levy or Against the levy at the bottom.

    • juris imprudent

      It’s a California thing. Only the best democracy.

      • rhywun

        Yeah, even NY doesn’t tend to pull that shit

    • l0b0t

      I had several offices up for election where the only candidate was representing both the Democrat and Republican parties. Also, this yea-saying ballot leech has been my neighborhood’s Congresscritter for 22 years; he is running unopposed.

  16. UnCivilServant

    *sigh*

    I love these “Our file never got where it was supposed to” complaints that end in “Actually, we forgot to send it.”

  17. Ownbestenemy

    Nate Silver hedges his bets last night and now the Biden campaign is also?

    Biden campaign manager Jen O’Malley Dillon: “We continue to have multiple pathways to 270 electoral votes” says they can win 270 even without PA and FL

    — Charlotte Alter (@CharlotteAlter) November 3, 2020

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Without PA or FL?

      Not likely, but then again who the fuck knows anymore?

      I had to boycott my Facebook today. So many middle-aged women posting their I VOTED selfies. Nobody cares, ladies.

      • Tundra

        The nice lady at the polling place seemed puzzled that I didn’t take a sticker.

      • UnCivilServant

        It wasn’t even offered at mine.

        Or it might have been, just not to me.

      • Bobarian LMD

        They weren’t planning on counting your vote, so you don’t get one.

      • Not Adahn

        They didn’t give them out at mine either.

        Undoubtedly they don’t want to spread the ‘vid.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’ve gotten pissed-off looks for refusing the sticker before.

        I felt like I was in a Seinfeld episode. WEAR THE BUTTON!

      • Ownbestenemy

        You to? It irks me that it bothers the poll worker so much that I wont take a free handout. There is a lesson in that somewhere about government.

      • Nephilium

        I tell them that all of my trash cans already have the sticker on them.

      • rhywun

        Meh, I took the one they offered and just threw it out when I got home.

      • Gender Traitor

        I got to keep the “I voted” stylus/ballpoint pen I used to vote on the touchscreen.

        Woo hoo.

      • Lady Z

        Damn, all I got was a q-tip.

      • CPRM

        Never thought I’d be jealous of a Q-tip. Thanks Obama 2020!

      • DEG

        In these Lil Rona Panic times, we get to keep the pen we use to fill out the ballot.

      • Old Man With Candy

        I took four and explained that I was from Chicago.

      • banginglc1

        I really can’t for the life of me understand the sticker fascination. I can see someone taking one and putting it on. But the virtue signalling associated with it is saddening to me.

      • SP

        They sent one along with my mail-in ballot FFS. I have neither stuck it to anything nor take a selfie with it.

      • Rebel Scum

        Nobody cares, ladies.

        Virtue must be signaled.

        I, however, do not even accept the “I voted” sticker when the poll worker hands it to me.

    • UnCivilServant

      “I mean, we went to the simulator and clicked a few buttons, and all the states turned blue!”

      • CPRM

        It’s scientific! It’s a model!

    • Gadfly

      Trump has a better path without PA then Biden does. Although Biden has a better path without FL. That does sound like bet hedging, which supports my suspicion that it’s gonna be close.

    • Nephilium

      Interesting to me was that XKCD/538 didn’t include an extra weight to Ohio. Is our time as a swing state finally over? Will the ads finally stop?

      /looks at local lefty rag saying we may not know who won Ohio until the end of November

      Shit.

      • slumbrew

        Ugh, hadn’t seen that.

        I would be enraged by an acquaintance attempting to “nudge” me.

    • leon

      Biden campaign manager Jen O’Malley Dillon: “We continue to have multiple pathways to 270 electoral votes” says they can win 270 even without PA and FL

      I think Texas and Arizona equate the value of PA and FL so while delusional (as in if they loose PA and FL i don’t think they can get TX and AZ), I guess they could be right.

    • Rebel Scum

      Obviously because TX is in play. . .

      • DEG

        The reddit hivemind thinks Texas will go for Biden.

        I don’t see it.

      • juris imprudent

        They said it would go for Beto too.

  18. The Other Kevin

    For the first time I feel like I earned that I Voted sticker. Just waited 90 minutes. The old timer working said he’s never seen a turnout this big.

  19. cyto

    I know there are a handful of fellow nerds running around here among all the cool folk, so indulge me in a bit of a “too local” rant.

    I enjoy science news and skepticism, and I really like the Skeptic’s Guide to the Universe. This year they’ve been edging closer and closer to the line on politics. Steve Novella usually does a great job of making sure that they stay on mission and keep politics out of things. And they usually have an activist female panel member who really has a hard time doing that. This year, she’s winning. They keep letting politics color their coverage, and it makes some parts of the show hard to sit through. Their covid coverage verges on the entirely political (they spend a couple of months snarking at the governor of Florida in particular, and the south in general, earlier this year, as Cuomo was killing of his elderly population through direct action – never once mentioned).

    So I took to skipping past the opening where most of this was concentrated.

    Then to this week. Election week. I wasn’t even going to bother. But I got stuck in line and it was there… so….

    Ugh…

    I had a bit of a debate with the crew a couple of years ago. They are fairly strong proponents of censorship. This is stunning, because they fought a fairly lengthy and very expensive battle against censorship with a guy who sued them because they said his snake oil was snake oil. You’d think they would appreciate the value of free speech, since their entire existence is dependent on the value of free speech.

    Nope.

    They rejected my appeal to “meet bad speech with more speech” argument out of hand.

    And this week they did it again. They weighed in on Joe Rogan being on spotify. They are all-in. It is totally right for Spotify employees to demand that a person who would allow Alex Jones on his podcast be banned. They completely believe that being wrong about something is enough for polite society to exclude you and anyone who would speak to you.

    Shockingly, left wing activist chick (Cara Santa Maria) was the only voice saying that maybe simply interviewing a conspiracy theorist shouldn’t be enough to get you banned from social media and podcast platforms. She was fine with banning Alex Jones from the planet, but maybe just giving people who interview him a strong reprimand is enough. It was weak, but at least it was something of a defense of free speech.

    Others on the podcast were adamant. Alex Jones said that Sandy Hook was a fake and that the parents were all actors, therefore he’s evil and must be excommunicated.

    It was horrifying.

    I mean, I know these folks are all northeastern lefties (well, except Cara who is a Californian of plains states extraction), but this is crazy. People who’s entire passion is meeting speech with which they disagree with their own speech actually advocating for *more* censorship.

    “They shouldn’t be allowed to say this!”

    They’ve repeated that on a number of topics.

    It doesn’t seem to occur to them at all that it won’t be them pulling the lever to flush speech down the toilet. It very well could be the people they disagree with.

    The left has utterly lost their minds. The SGU men are all middle aged white dudes who grew up in the 70’s and 80’s. They know better. Younger people who grew up in a world where PC on campus means you were taught that speech is violence and therefore must be controlled have an excuse for their dangerous views. These dudes have no such excuse.

    And this is where we are headed at warp speed. A world where even the people who depend on free speech for their very livelihood – the press, advocacy podcasters, political pundits – are pushing for more and more control over speech.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      This is where hate-crime legislation led us to. It was foretold and it has come to pass.

    • Drake

      “Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.”
      – JFK

    • Gustave Lytton

      Those pushing for controls never consider that they too will one day be up against the wall. Instead they will always be on the side of right. Despite history repeatedly showing otherwise.

      They are Roperites.

      • Tundra

        Darkness at Noon is one of my favorite books and should be required reading for every HS kid.

    • Florida Man

      I really lament the death of science’s legitimacy. Maybe I am wrong, but I feel like there was a time when you could trust science to give you some hard facts so you could make an informed decision. Now it seems like the first question to ask about any study is “who funded it” and “what do they have to gain/lose”.

      • Nephilium

        But IFLS and “really smaht” people are telling me that the science has been settled!

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        You can trust the scientific process, properly implemented. Unfortunately, you can’t trust the scientists.

      • cyto

        Precisely so

    • banginglc1

      I don’t know what this says Ken.

    • leon

      “They shouldn’t be allowed to say this!”

      They’ve repeated that on a number of topics.

      This is a large problem i have with many so called “Skeptics”. They won’t drink their own medicine, and so then think that they Know the truth and so it should be the _only_ thing that is talked about.

      It’s like talking about Gravity and Dark Matter with someone who won’t even acknowledge, right or wrong, that there are legitimate complaints and counter-theories to the orthodoxy.

      • leon

        In short, it often seems like such folk are not really rational seekers of truth, but affirmation hungry individuals eager to prove that they _actually_ know the approved body of knowledge. They are unwilling to learn about heterodox ideas, even to just understand where people are coming from.

        I studied a bit of Marxian Economics to get my degree. It was inevitable where i went to school, but i’m grateful because, even though i don’t believe it is at all correct, i can at least engage better with them and understand what they mean.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        They’re mostly just pompous, arrogant assholes.

        Questioning others is a virtue, self-questioning is a sin.

      • cyto

        I actually had this exact argument this past week.

        On Reddit. Don’t judge me.

        Penn jillette made an argument about questioning premises and jumping to conclusions about cause and effect. basically it was a lesson in cognitive biases, particularly that old saw that correlation does not equal causation. One of the examples he used was a passing mention of the Australian gun buyback.

        Now, in order to get this you had to understand a few things. you had to know that gun control advocates were using studies of the Australian buyback as a proof that banning guns works. You also had to know that this ban took place in an era of declining gun crime. So studies that purported to show that after the man gun crime went down did not take into account the fact that crime was going down just as quickly before the ban.

        If you didn’t know this, and you were a gun control advocate, you might think that he was some science denying nut job.

        And that is exactly what happened.

        So, like the moron that I am, I tried to explain to Reddit people what cognitive bias is and why that was a good example. I used the counter example of Kennesaw Georgia to explain myself, since I was challenged to find any such study that might show something different. You know, since the science is settled.

        I know that most of you are aware of both of these, being weirdo libertarian types who follow such things, but for those who aren’t they are the perfect counter examples. both studies take place in an era of declining crime and particularly declining violent crime. In one, guns are banned and actually taken out of people’s hands. In the other, Kennesaw actually ordered that every head of household must own a gun.

        it proves the correlation causation argument perfectly. You have the same effect, but the exact opposite set of causes.

        Yeah, they weren’t able to see it. Well, that’s overly broad. A couple of people who are drinking their own Kool-Aid couldn’t see it.

        The good part was that they doubled down. they pulled out Snopes to prove that I was wrong about Kennesaw.

        Snopes. Really.

        So I pulled forth the primary sources that Snopes was quoting to show that everything I had told them was indeed true, there indeed was such a law in Kennesaw, it indeed saw a decline rather than an increase in violent crime. Snopes had a political argument rather than a fact check, which argued that….. Wait for it……. Correlation does not equal causation.

        Sometimes you just can’t talk to activists. The cognitive bias is so strong that they just can’t see it.

        But hopefully I was able to reach a few people. Because I was able to clearly show that the two studies were identical except that one banned guns and the other one required guns. The exact same criticism could be made of either study. So for those who are not already invested in the argument, hopefully they were able to see that what applied to the one they disagree with also applied to the one that they agreed with, and learn something about their own bias. But probably not too many folks. Because examining your own assumptions is really hard.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        The possibility that a group of like-thinkers on an internet forum would examine their assumptions when it’s far easier to berate the heretic and receive accolades for it is nil.

        One on one, you have a chance with a significant portion of people. When they’re grouped up, nope.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Except for Glibs. We’re made of a finer clay.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        We just have an inability to agree on anything.

      • cyto

        No we don’t.

      • Cancelled

        sip a glass of merlot, faggot

      • Gustave Lytton

        Reminds me to bring the Dubonnet out from the back of the cupboard.

      • juris imprudent

        Sometimes yYou just can’t talk to activiststrue believers.

        FTFY

      • Plisade

        I studied Marx as well, just to get an understanding of the mindset. Know your enemy, after all.

      • DEG

        #metoo

      • KOVIDKristen

        In college in the early 90’s, the curriculum hadn’t evolved from the Cold War, so I had a lot of “Marx vs. Smith”-type classes in my International Relations degree.

    • The Last American Hero

      I bailed on SGU several years ago since they were all in on CAGW and unwilling to address anything that contradicts the narrative. They defended Mann and hiding raw data and endorsed censorship of climate skeptics. They claim to be atheists but are very much into the religion of scientism. They won’t defend faulty hypotheses because their science is shit.

      • cyto

        They were not among those expressing skepticism over the venus phosphine story. At least not week 1. Haven’t been back since. Too much veiled progressive signalling. It gets old. I checked out before 10 minutes this time.

      • Florida Man

        PBS space time handled the Venus phosphine discovery well.

  20. CPRM

    With all this talk of busy voting places, my rural polling spot was the busiest I’ve ever seen it. Usually solid RED, I wonder what exactly this means.

    • Florida Man

      It means Rhywun better start thinking about how to cook his hat.

    • Ted S.

      The bars are closed and everybody went there to drink?

  21. Drake

    Motherfucker!
    The best BBQ and deli in town just went out if business. Easily the best chili I’ve had in NJ. Talking to the owner’s wife just now – they just couldn’t make ends meet without their corporate catering income. Another confirmed business kill for our medical dictatorship.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Grandmas were saved!

    • blackjack

      I feel for you. We’ve lost a number of options here too. Usually, any new eateries are some bullshit vegan trash or 20 dollar smoothie shops. Fucking government enforced fear mongering is killing us.

    • KOVIDKristen

      The coffee shop by my office tried to open in July, but no one was in the office building, and there are no tourists. When I went to the building a couple weeks ago, the coffee shop was closed until they could figure out what to do. So sad.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Just proves they were unessential and should all go out get essential jobs! /Cuomo

      • Nephilium

        One of our local chains here (Melt) is closing one of their locations this year due to lease expiration, and COVID lockdowns. Two other local businesses have announced they’re closing until Spring, as they were already struggling with outdoor dining… and that’s pretty well over for the time being.

    • Viking1865

      My local spot set their reopening day as tomorrow. They closed down back in June.

      I am wondering if they are basically saying

      “Election is over, pandemic is over, go ahead and cite me.”

    • Sensei

      That sucks.

    • slumbrew

      We’ve had a bunch of places go into “hibernation” for the winter – presumably they’ve cut some deal with their landlords and they’re just going to shut down for a few months.

      I’d be surprised if even 50% of those ever returned.

      • Drake

        Apparently this landlord is an asshole and wouldn’t cut any breaks. Now he has a big empty pad that will pay nothing for many months.

      • Idle Hands

        Sounds like mine.

  22. The Gunslinger

    The deed is done. No line, no mask, no problem. Even voted for a few L candidates down ballot.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Did you vote or visit a brothel?

      • The Gunslinger

        Former.

      • Not Adahn

        They really should put polling places in brothels.

      • Seguin

        I thought the point of a brothel was that you weren’t the one pulling the lever.

      • blackjack

        That’s like “screw or get screwed.”

    • rhywun

      Then it’s: guess what – you’re beta-testing a ‘vid shot.

      • leon

        GREEN WEENIE FOR ALL!

      • Florida Man

        I usually get the flu shot because work twist my arm. I said no this year because I am sick and tired of being pushed around and I have no faith in the medical industrial complex to give me truthful information. Fuck you, I haven’t been sick in ten years, I’m not letting you inject me with gawd knows what.

      • pistoffnick

        Mrs. pistoffnick works at a hospital that REQUIRES all employees to get a flu shot.

        Every year, right after getting the flu shot, she gets sick.

    • Bobarian LMD

      According to the CDC charts, the flu no longer exists.

      • R C Dean

        I’ve mentioned that to a few people.

        The response always is “Because everyone is wearing a mask and social distancing!”

        My response: “If that works, then why are COVID infections spiking?”

      • invisible finger

        You’d think there’d be a half-assed PCR test for influenza like there is for CV19. Seems like there’d be lotsa $$$ in it.

  23. banginglc1

    A local democrat’s campaign team just called me and asked me if they could count on my vote,

    My response: “That depends. Does she believe in free toast for everyone? Because I can only vote for someone who believes in free toast for everyone. And with that, will she be giving jelly with the free toast. Because let’s be honest, toast without jelly might as well be called hard bread. . . ”

    I went on for about 4 minutes before she hung up. That’s 4 less minutes she has to bother other people.

    The people in my office were laughing mighty heartily at the conversation.

    • The Gunslinger

      You didn’t ask her if you could count on her vote?

      • banginglc1

        I forgot. I’m not the best campaigner.

        “A vote for me, is like a vote for pudding. Except pudding is good. And useful. I am not. I guess voting for me is nothing like pudding.”

    • banginglc1

      I had one text conversation yesterday where I told them I would trade my vote for tile vouchers. I kept telling them I had a large tile project coming up and I’d definitely vote for them if they would subsidize the project.

  24. UnCivilServant

    So, as the end of the workday is in sight, I started thinking about the post workday walking route. I’m wondering how many times I should go with the 3 mile route before pushing for four.

    • PieInTheSky

      always go harder than last time.

      • mrfamous

        The Romanian Greg Doucette

      • PieInTheSky

        only natty

      • UnCivilServant

        My only target rate is “still beating” rather than “still”.

      • Florida Man

        Then go as far as you can safely. Or go until you can’t go anymore then call a Lyft/uber.

    • CPRM

      When you don’t feel the Bern anymore?

  25. grrizzly

    Four years ago Trump received 9% of the vote in my precinct. Today around 9:45 AM there was no line to vote. Voting by mail is very popular this year in towns like mine in MA. Unlike in the primary in September, nobody offered me a mask or mentioned the lack of it.

  26. kinnath

    My wife and I voted at lunch. Took less than five minutes. The scanner said there had been 5600 ballots already processed.

    I knew that Iowa had imposed a voter ID requirement, but I wasn’t expecting the system they had set up. They scanned my Drivers License into a tablet computer then showed me my name and address on the tablet. When I verified the screen was correct, they printed out a “receipt” that included an affidavit at the bottom. So I had to sign and swear that I was the person listed on the receipt and that I resided at the address on the receipt.

    I took this sworn affidavit to another table, where I was given my paper ballot. The rest of the process was the same as always. Fill out the little ovals on the paper and scan it into the machine.

    I like the system they put in place. In comparison, the security for absentee/mail-in ballots is atrocious.

    • Nephilium

      Here in Ohio (up here in Cuyahoga county at least), you hand over your license, and the poll worker scans it. They then ask you to confirm your address (while still holding the license). After that they ask you to confirm your ward (or tell it to you if you don’t know it I guess), turn a tablet around for you to sign on (they had little finger condoms available in a bowl) which prints out a receipt that gets kept by the staff. Then they hand you the paper ballot. You go fill in bubbles, tear off the bottom stub (which is put into an envelope), and feed your ballots into the scanning machine.

      Obviously this system is oppressive and designed just to intimidate voters.

      • PieInTheSky

        you hand over your license, and the poll worker scans it. – sounds unsanitary

      • PieInTheSky

        When I voted earlier this year due to covid I scanned my own ID in the machine but then the official took it anyway to check vs the paper list, so he touched my id in the end

      • Ted S.

        he touched my id in the end

        At which point your id started screaming “PERVERT!”

      • Timeloose

        My voting process was the same. I needed to sign only and had my signature checked with the one on record. If you are new to the poling location you have to show ID. You then get a paper card and hand it to the guy directing you to the booths.

    • R C Dean

      It was the same here in AZ.

      Although with mail-in balloting so ubiquitous and completely unsecured, I had to wonder what the point was.

  27. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Katrina vanden Huevel just published some more of her mindless drivel. This time calling for an end to the electoral college.

    • PieInTheSky

      it is an antiquated institution thwarting The Will of The People?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Not going to pay to find out. vanden Huevel is the embodiment of the rich, white liberal heiress that while ignorant as sin, thinks she’s smarter than the rest of the room.

      • Florida Man

        What is funny is eliminating the EC may lead to more republicans voting in states that their vote doesn’t currently matter. What I want to know, is why I can’t vote for the president of every other country. Just because I don’t live there doesn’t mean the election doesn’t effect me. I lied, nobody cares about anybody except the American President. USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA

      • Viking1865

        Yep. 770,000 Americans in LA County voted for Trump. That’s more Trump votes than 21 states and DC. He got more votes in LA County than in 12 states that he actually won, and he only got 22% of the vote in LA County.

        If we went to NPV, the Democrats might just discover how many vicious racist deplorable rednecks there are in their precious blue states.

      • Drake

        It was one of the compromises that made the union possible. Ending it probably hastens the end of the union.

    • Not Adahn

      Commies gonna commie.

  28. blackjack

    My neighbors next door were adamant that they would vote in person. They took one look at the line and dropped their votes in the box instead. For decades, they had local polling places where you had to go in person and ink your dots. It seemed like a reasonable way of doing it. Then, the blue team took complete control, instituted ballot harvesting and jungle primaries. Next, they pared down the polling places to less than a third. Magically, they won every solid red seat in the area after that. Now, they are committed to maximum hocus pocus. Every vote must be cast remotely. It ain’t rocket surgery to see why they have made these changes.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Again, the Democrats accuse Republicans of disenfranchising voters while they actually go out and do it.

  29. PieInTheSky

    “Virtue-signalling” is one of those terms we might struggle to define precisely, but we nonetheless know what it means, and we know it when we see it.
    That includes those of us who intentionally misunderstand it, for performative reasons.

    Virtue-signalling really means signalling that you hold political opinions which guarantee easy applause, because they are in line with what the cultural establishment considers virtuous.
    And since the cultural establishment = the woke Left, only the woke Left can virtue-signal.

    That doesn’t mean that right-wingers can’t hold silly signalling opinions. They can, and they often do.
    But it’s not virtue-signalling. It’s something else. Right-wingers can’t virtue-signal, because right-wing views are not considered virtuous.

    https://twitter.com/K_Niemietz/status/1323556566990233600

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      That’s some pretty thin gruel.

      • PieInTheSky

        old K has very strong opinions abut high status vs low status opinions

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        What we’re lacking is serious argumentation and debate on both sides, but more so the left.

      • PieInTheSky

        that sounds like an unfashionable opinion to me if you don;t mind me saying

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’m sin-signaling.

      • wdalasio

        I’m not necessarily agreeing with you, but what exactly does constitute conservative virtue signaling? I get that this argument doesn’t seem that strong. But, it does seem to reflect what I see. Of course I could be missing something?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        True patriots supported the invasion of Iraq.

      • Nephilium

        Our police are under attack.

        Of course we want to cut spending, but %pork bill% is essential

        It’s too bad that families are getting broken up, but drugs are really bad

        It’s better to fight them over there then to fight them over here.

        Prayer in school is just community values.

        etc…

      • wdalasio

        Well, yeah, sort of. But, that was 17 years ago. And it seemed more about forcing compliance with a particular policy prescription than establishing some sort of ranking of virtue. Because that’s something I think the definition Pie cited misses about virtue signaling. It isn’t just about demanding people adopt some sort of view or perspective. It’s about establishing a hierarchy of better and lesser people.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Patriotism is the crack cocaine of conservative virtue signaling.

      • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

        Invasion? maybe, although at the time I was continuously screaming Bush you #$%^&*()ing idiot, it’s Iran, with a goddamn N not a Q, you invaded the wrong country!

        Occupation? hell no

    • leon

      So if we have two cultures (one more dominant than the other), you could easily be signaling to _your_ preferred culture rather than the other one. So yes the Right clearly does Virtue Signal.

      • cyto

        I don’t understand how that is even remotely difficult to understand. it all depends on what room you are standing in. Brave defiance in one room is virtue signaling in another.

      • wdalasio

        I’m not discounting the possibility. But, where do we see it? I see the weakness in this guy’s argument (it’s the mirror of the “no minority racism” claim). But, what would be an actual example?

      • prolefeed

        The top of a rounded white T-shirt peeking out above your shirt, if you’re a Mormon, signaling that you have a Temple Recommend.

        Driving a Super Duty jacked up pickup with 4 tires on the rear axle, if you’re a Republican in redneck territory.

        Conspicuously NOT wearing a mask when everyone else in the grocery store is wearing one, defying social pressure.

      • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

        The libertarian version is bragging about not voting.

  30. Timeloose

    Just got back from voting. I was number ~350 to vote (the same as when I voted at 6:00pm last general). The line was deep but it moved quite fast. I voted on a electronic machine that spit out a paper ballot with a OCR and written votes that was then cast on a scanner then dropped in a bin for recounting or manual verification of voting. The person who is responsible for taking the ballots to the counting center is my neighbor. She is a angry progressive politically but overall a nice person if you stay a way from politics.

    One big observation is that there were more young people voting than I have seen in recent memory. As I drove home Biden was leaving Scranton and heading to Philly and Fox news was talking about my county and how it is critical to the winner of PA.

    There will be a manual recount in this county, I can already see it being prepared for. The machine being used today is new the old one never printed a paper ballot before, it counted the votes electronically. No funny business could be seen, one cop and one sheriff in the parking lot. Everyone was nice and friendly as is typical..

    • cyto

      The excess of young people runs counter to what they have been saying the last few days.

      That is an interesting development.

    • creech

      A “nice person” who would send armed government agents to take everything you owned if she thought she could get away with it, and give your former possessions to whatever causes and persons she thinks deserve them more than you. Sooner or later we have to politely confront what the consequences will be of our “nice” friends’ politics.

      • Timeloose

        She is a bit bipolar, going from being one of the most loving person to wanting to kill anyone who doesn’t believe as she does. Loves the military when they give her husband money, but hates that they want him 1 weekend a month. Has a love everyone poster on the house, but would call the big brother and report you for thought crime.

  31. Trigger Hippie

    The Dirty Deed is done and another round of wasted votes have been cast.

    In honor of that, here’s my personal homage to our political class:

    https://youtu.be/l-ThBYx4hvI

    • CPRM

      Glad to see you back in good better spirits.

      • Trigger Hippie

        THAT song is an indication of better spirits? Christ, just how dark have I been lately?…oh, yeah.

    • CPRM

      Politics is Poison, but it’s the poison we’re stuck with.

  32. PieInTheSky

    I realized that until the forum appeared I did not know SP stands for supreme priestess.

    • SP

      That’s just what it stands for today. Maybe it will be Sweet Princess tomorrow. Or Splendid Pizzaiola.

      • PieInTheSky

        you’ve been fund out no changesies

      • PieInTheSky

        found goddamnit

      • TARDis

        Check’s in the mail?

      • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

        Sublimely Patient was my guess

    • slumbrew

      Same. A minor revelation.

    • Fatty Bolger

      I thought it stood for Sweet… never mind.

  33. Rebel Scum

    Is this legit?

    DEMOCRAT ELECTION OFFICIALS BANNING TRUMP POLL WATCHERS IN PHILLY. This is happening all over the City. The steal is on!

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      It’s Philadelphia. I don’t put anything past them.

    • Ownbestenemy

      If legit, they know they have the backing the AG who went and spouted off on Halloween that Trump already lost. If not legit, it doesn’t help the elephants causes.

    • cyto

      They did this in the Atlanta area when I lived there.

      Cynthia McKinney campaign workers actually locked the Republican poll watcher in a closet while they filed in three bus loads of people after the poll had closed.

      WSB-TV, channel 2, had video of the thing for crying out loud.

      But since her dad was very powerful in the Georgia legislature, and the machine was behind her, there was not really even an investigation.

      • Florida Man

        I don’t understand how this is possible. If it is on film, can’t the feds intervene?

      • Ownbestenemy

        They can, will they or did they is always the question for our finest.

    • banginglc1

      I wouldn’t doubt if they found a way to get rid of her and Biden.

      • cyto

        She has consistently proven to do exactly what is required of her by the machine. She went after backpage.com even after a judge smacked her down. The machine demanded such an icky thing be killed, so she killed it.

        I have no doubt that she would shove babies into the ovens if she thought that it was what was required to maintain power. She is one scary chick. And she is going to be your next president if Biden Harris wins today.

        Well, not exactly her. And not exactly Joe. But the machine. The establishment, back in charge. All those who attempted to roll back the excesses of the state will be expurgated. The only question is whether retaliation is inevitable.

      • CPRM

        1. Get Rid of Biden
        2. Get Rid of Harris
        3. Install Hillary
        4. ???
        5. Profit

      • cyto

        Step 5 is definitely the objective with that one.

    • B.P.

      “What is best for America” is crushing its service industry, I guess.

      • Nephilium

        Those weren’t living wage jobs anyway.

    • R C Dean

      “The last time we experienced loss like this was, err, 1968, during the Hong Kong Flu pandemic. You remember, they held Woodstock right in the middle of it.”

      • blackjack

        1968-69 was much worse. About the same amount of people died, but there were far fewer people in total. The percentage was way higher. Not to mention, there was less weaseling of the numbers and we didn’t really do anything to mitigate it. Imagine how sucky the economy would have been through the ’70s if we threw a year long lockdown on top of the other factors in play back then.

  34. hoof_in_mouth

    Cathy Young has a good article on TOS today that reminded me how angry I am about Robert Reich and how much I want him and his ilk repudiated at the ballot box rather than the alternative https://reason.com/2020/11/03/the-guillotine-mystique/

      • Tres Cool

        /and end
        Sorry, but its nearly bedtime

      • cyto

        The dude made a funny movie once. It had a stupid political viewpoint that the people who work somewhere on the place and that you are evil if you don’t continue paying your workforce more than you are making. But it was funny.

        Then he made a tin foil hat level screed that the left masturbated over for years.

        But for the last 20 years he has to spend the night job in the corner. Why does anybody listen to this guy?

      • Tres Cool

        Sadly, he also did “Canadian Bacon”. Which is funny af.

      • UnCivilServant

        Do people honestly think there is a button on the resolute desk to automatically launch the nukes and that it’s not a process that goes through the military chain of command?

      • banginglc1

        Of course, It’s right next to the diet coke button.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Yes they do.

      • Not Adahn

        Yes, I saw a documentary about it.

      • db

        That is exactly the thing I expected to see whenI read your post.

    • cyto

      I have noticed that the original site has unleashed a blizzard of decent articles in the last 3 days.

      They certainly held their powder dry for the last couple of years, with fruit sushi being the only consistently decent voice on the site. Now suddenly they are casting aside their orange man bad contaminated thinking to take a libertarian position or three.

      While I am happy that they are back, it actually peaks my annoyance at the fact that they have been gone for so long.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        They must think Biden is going to win.

        Now they can go back to pretending they’re an independent viewpoint.

      • CPRM

        Well, they can only make the case for #Liberty when they don’t think it’ll help a racist Republican.

    • PieInTheSky

      good piece

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      grrrr…. Robert Reich is an ignorant, arrogant, evil little shit.

  35. Not Adahn

    Woot!

    Case o’ 9×19 arrived on the doorstep. And I have two matches this weekend!

    • DEG

      A case of GP-11 is supposed to arrive here later this week.

      Yes… I need to shoot more. I haven’t been shooting in a while. Work has been busy.

    • Rebel Scum

      I ordered socks. They should be on my porch when I get home.

    • PieInTheSky

      keep the receipt for the buyback

  36. CPRM

    PSA: come drink election night away on zoom! Tulip says she’ll be hosting a meetup tonight as long as I take over so she can get some sleep.

    • Ownbestenemy

      My wife and liver cannot. I must care for both if I want to continue to live.

    • Nephilium

      I’ve warned the girlfriend already, and laid in a fancy bottle to crack.

  37. DEG

    We have no miracle-working prophets.

    Obama haz a sad.

  38. Cancelled

    I thought Elisha was all in on giving little boys to bears?

    • robc

      I think the best translation would be chavs.

  39. Rebel Scum

    Count ALL the votes.

    “Pennsylvania is likely to be one of those key swing states that may well decide this election, but like Pennsylvania, North Carolina, Wisconsin, Georgia, they begin counting ballots today,” Coons said. “So all those folks who are out there standing in line, those 100 million folks who’ve already voted, they deserve to have their ballots counted. States and counties decide our elections, not candidates, and I know, and Joe knows that if every ballot is counted and counted fairly, Joe Biden and Kamala Harris will win tonight.”

    • cyto

      So it is only fair if you win? You sure that’s how things work?

      • slumbrew

        That’s how it’s gonna work…

      • cyto

        Oh and for those who haven’t heard me rant like a crazy person on the topic, John Roberts put us on a path for civil war with his idiotic decisions on how the supreme Court should handle these election issues.

        By punting until after the election is over, he guarantees that no one will trust the result. Pennsylvania is ground zero for this. By saying that we should allow all these votes to be harvested without signatures and without postmarks, and then wait to see who the votes are for before we make any decisions about what the law says, you guarantee that no one trusts you.

        because now the court will not be deciding should ballots without signatures be allowed or not. They will be deciding should Joe Biden or Donald Trump be president.

        I can’t think of a dumber political move in my entire life. I don’t care how I look when your legal speak is, when five Republican appointees vote down three Democrat appointees, nobody is going to see anything other than party affiliation. And nobody is going to accept a legitimacy of the election.

        The guy ought to be impeached for this one act alone. I don’t care which way it cuts in terms of pro Democrat or pro Republican, it is a terrible and dangerous thing to do.

      • kinnath

        I think the last decision included comments from Kavanaugh that explained, there wasn’t enough time to rule before the election, but this is how they will decide later:

        1) The constitution says state legislatures decide how elections work.

        2) State judges don’t decide how elections work.

        3) Federal judges don’t decide how elections work.

        4) SCOTUS will rule that the laws in place at the time of the election will be held valid.

        Pennsylvania said they would keep ballots segregated between those that complied with the law and those that were allowed by the judge just incase SCOTUS says the later group of ballots can’t be counted.

      • UnCivilServant

        I don’t trust them to keep their word. The ballots will be comingled and inseperable.

      • R C Dean

        So in their decision before the election they said they didn’t have time to make a decision before the election? Do I have that right?

      • kinnath

        To the best of my recollection, this was the case that SCOTUS ruled 4-4 to leave the circuit court opinion in place. Then ACB was added to the court, and Republicans sued again. SCOTUS then said that there wasn’t time to hear the case and left the circuit court opinion in place.

        Kavanaugh’s comments were in the dissenting opinion, I think. Basically saying that SCOTUS would dump the circuit court opinion as soon as they could after the election.

      • kinnath

        Also note, I am engineer, not lawyer. So, I am probably full of shit.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Which is interesting because CA Court shot down Newsome’s order for mail-in-ballots as legislative fiat but said we aren’t going to change the order for this election.

        How the Supreme Court squares all this up will be quite interesting.

    • R C Dean

      States and counties decide our elections,

      And here I thought it was the voters.

    • Suthenboy

      I just heard some Dem fuck on the radio saying they will declare Creepy Joe the winner no matter how the vote turns out.

      I keep hearing people talk about the popular election as if it determines who wins, not the electoral college. WTF?

      • Hyperion

        They want to be able to make up the rules as they go along and change them again when it turns out they don’t like them as much as they thought. No one else gets to decide, only them.

        They’re overgrown infants.

      • prolefeed

        I just heard some Dem fuck on the radio saying they will declare Creepy Joe the winner no matter how the vote turns out.

        About a month ago, my wife, once again, said that Trump had lost the 2016 election because of cheating and popular vote. I mentally debated using the Southern Black Woman’s Voice to say, “Have you lost your damn mind?!?”, but then thought better of it and changed the subject. Didn’t feel like going down that rabbit hole again.

    • UnCivilServant

      Experts predict that if Democrats continue to buy guns at this rate, they will have as many guns as Republicans by the year 2089.

    • cyto

      Wow. These guys are fantastic

  40. Lachowsky

    All of us, if we are of reflective habit, like and admire men whose fundamental beliefs differ radically from our own. But when a candidate for public office faces the voters he does not face men of sense; he faces a mob of men whose chief distinguishing mark is the fact that they are quite incapable of weighing ideas, or even of comprehending any save the most elemental — men whose whole thinking is done in terms of emotion, and whose dominant emotion is dread of what they cannot understand. So confronted, the candidate must either bark with the pack or count himself lost. … All the odds are on the man who is, intrinsically, the most devious and mediocre — the man who can most adeptly disperse the notion that his mind is a virtual vacuum.
    The Presidency tends, year by year, to go to such men. As democracy is perfected, the office represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. We move toward a lofty ideal. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

    Menken was a prophet.

    • cyto

      I heard an interesting thought the other day. I don’t remember where I heard it. It was that voters vote for the candidate who lies most effectively.

      The theory being that instinctively we want someone who will lie effectively when we need him to. If we need him to negotiate with an enemy, we need someone who can convincingly lie to them. If we need him to lead us in times of exceeding danger, we need him to lie to us so that we can maintain morale and soldier on.

      Whoever this was argued that Bill Clinton was a fantastic liar. Barack Obama was a fantastic liar. Donald Trump is a fantastic liar. This is why they win. Bob Dole sucked at lying. George Bush Senior sucked at lying.

      The same goes for John Kerry and Al Gore.

      By that metric, he says that this election is Trump’s. Joe Biden used to be an effective liar. But now he’s too daughtering. And Kamala Harris is an experienced and accomplished liar, but she is not an effective liar. She has way too many tells.

      It’s one theory anyway.

  41. LJW

    Just heard on the radio Florida is seeing record Republican turn out. Does that translate into votes for Trump?

    • leon

      Well i know that Max Boot, despite not collapsing and dying from exhaustion, has said the never trumpers have put it all out on the field. So maybe some of those votes will be Never Trumpers.

      But since Trump has ~95% In party approval… I think not.

      • Viking1865

        There is no more overstated group in American politics than the “Republicans for Biden” group. Do they exist? Yes of course, just like black women Republicans exist. But you would be a fool to think Candace Owens is the voice of a hidden mass of voters that will sway elections.

    • grrizzly

      How can they measure Republican turn out? Do voters receive different ballots based on their voter registration?

      • R C Dean

        When you vote, they check to see if you are a registered voter and tick the box that says you done voted. If you registered as a party member, when they tick that box, it now says a Republican voted.

    • Not Adahn

      Of course not. All real Republicans hate trump. Just ask the Lincoln Project.

    • Rebel Scum

      Until all the votes from the deceased start coming in.

    • cyto

      I have no idea. I am in the deep Democrat, New York and New Jersey expatriate part of southern Florida. It is probably three to one Democrats to Republicans down here. Who knows, maybe more.

      But I don’t see very much in the way of Biden Harris stuff. Trump stuff is everywhere. That could be just measuring the enthusiasm of a minority. But four years ago there was almost no paraphernalia of any kind. There were just a few Trump signs, a very few Clinton signs, and a handful of leftover Obama bumper stickers.

      This time there are giant flags everywhere. If you went by paraphernalia purchases, it is Trump in a walk.

      • R C Dean

        a handful of leftover Obama bumper stickers

        That reminds me: yesterday morning for the first time in my life I saw a Dr. Ben Carson bumper sticker.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I figure it highly likely Trump takes Florida because of Biden’s stance on the Kung Flu.

      If he doesn’t take Florida, Trump is going to get crushed everywhere else.

  42. prolefeed

    How do you change your profile picture? I did it the other day, now I can’t figure out how to do it??

    • R C Dean

      Just click on your log-in name in the upper right corner to get to the dashboard . . . oh, that’s right, its gone.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Ah, the dashboard!

        *i’ve missed a lot recently*

      • SP

        Oh, THAT’S what that button does.

      • Mojo Jojo

        Danke!

    • pistoffnick

      Go to the new forum.
      Click My Profile

      • prolefeed

        After I posted that, the “Howdy, prolefeed” thingy reappeared in the upper right corner. I think someone forgot to put that back in when they redid this site recently.

        So now the current view of my smoker in my back yard perking away on a pork roast is up. 🙂

  43. KOVIDKristen

    What kind of food should I Uber Eats tonight? I wonder if that one place is still delivering booze…

    • Not Adahn

      Indian delivers better than most.

    • banginglc1

      Lutefisk

  44. leon

    Just give up now. The world is already lost. Not only does XML exist as a data format, people actively use it.

    Fuck XML.

    • PieInTheSky

      yes. and some like it and want to push it where it is not really needed.

      • leon

        They are truly awful people who should be shunned from polite society.

    • slumbrew

      I get pissy when I have to deal with XML these days. The newer things have the good taste to be JSON if it’s machine-generated, or YAML (maybe TOML) if it’s a config.

      That said, I wrote something yesterday and xmltodict made it fairly painless.

    • KOVIDKristen

      I never learned much of anything about XML during my long tenure in the web bidness.

      • leon

        XML is the Nick Gillespie of Data Formats.

    • Fatty Bolger

      Eh, I’m constantly doing API integrations, and they’re almost always JSON now.

  45. creech

    I voted at lunchtime…long line outside the school so we stood in line for over an hour. I talked to the Republican committeeman I know from the old Tea Party days.
    He said he’s already seen a lot of registered Republicans who he knows haven’t voted since 2016. In asking them to vote for Trump, he claims he is getting a lot of “Sorry, not this time.” It looks to me like the Philly suburbs will go solid blue, probably for a long time, and almost all the remaining GOP legislators will be defeated. This is likely to put the State House back in Dem hands and they will get to redistrict for the next decade. GOP is set to lose two seats in Congress this year, and redistricting would probably cost another 2 in 2022, plus popular Sen. Toomey is retiring, so mark that up as a Dem takeover too. Taxsylvania here we come.

    • Hyperion

      “Taxsylvania here we come.”

      We were looking at properties in PA until we saw the property taxes. It’s already Taxsylvania. Are you saying it will now be Taxsylvania+?

      • creech

        Still has flat 3.07% personal income tax, and no tax on pension, 401k or s.s. income. That will change, I’m afraid.

    • Suthenboy

      “…It looks to me like the Philly suburbs will go solid blue…”

      While Biden voters burn their city to the ground. They deserve every bit of it. Fuck ’em.

      • Sean

        HEY!!!!!!!

        I don’t deserve that.

        And I don’t believe Creech’s prediction. (Sorry Creech)

      • creech

        Well we can compare notes at the end of the week and see.

      • creech

        They won’t burn the city down because the Dem pols will grow a pair once they obtain full power. Burning down Philly would turn the suburbs red again, so they will stop coddling the rioters because they’d ratherjbe able to just loot all that suburban guilt money to “improve” the schools, increase the dole, and line the pockets of corrupt Philly grifters.

  46. prolefeed

    A local democrat’s campaign team just called me and asked me if they could count on my vote,

    “Let’s just say that you can certainly count on me voting.”

    • R C Dean

      “You mean, you fuckers haven’t already cast it for me?”

      • mrfamous

        That’s why they’re checking, to see if they safely can.

  47. Ownbestenemy

    Types of party voters I am seeing around the intertoooobs:

    Biden die-hards
    Democrats voting for anyone other than Trump
    Never-Trumpers voting for anyone other than Trump

    Trump die-hards
    Republican die-hards
    Republicans voting against the media, not actually for Trump

    Not sure about the independents, I would say they fit into the above voting blocs.
    The other voters left are the Bernie-bros.

    • kinnath

      To be clear, I would vote to put Richard Nixon’s corpse in the oval office before I would vote for Biden/Harris.

      • prolefeed

        I think Semi-Bright Border Collie is a better choice – less ripe – but either would be a solid improvement over the current crop of prez candidates, if my understanding of how a pocket veto works is correct.

      • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

        Unfortunately SBBC is not old enough to run. I wish it were not so, but our Constitution is racist against dogs, since the oldest dog ever only made 29 and could not run for Senate or President.

    • Florida Man

      On the way to work I saw a truck flying a Trump Flag and a Puerto Rico flag, and a lady in an SUV with Jewish voices for Trump. Idk, but those don’t seem like typical Republican voters.

  48. Certified Public Asshat

    Well, I voted and don’t feel good about it. Since everything is fucked this year I was able to do it at the school by work instead of wherever my regular place is near my house. It got me outside the office for about 10 minutes at least.

    • Not Adahn

      “Tragedy is clean, it is restful, it is flawless . . .hope, that foul, deceitful thing, has no part in it. There isn’t any hope. You’re trapped.”

      I really enjoyed Antigone, it’s the only time I’ve been able to make out with my gf onstage.

  49. kinnath

    I asked her for some happy news.

    Biden Has Less Support from Hispanic and Black Voters Than Clinton Did in 2016: Poll

    Although Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden appears to have higher support from several key demographics that helped propel President Donald Trump to victory in 2016, new polling suggests that he is less popular with Hispanic and Black voters than Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton was in 2016

    • Ownbestenemy

      Just healing the country. The great healer.

    • Drake

      Her parents weren’t married?

  50. Gustave Lytton

    Local rag’s fine journalists:

    The partial returns will allow The Oregonian/OregonLive news team to call the results of many races early in the evening, based on mathematical realities.

    • limey

      “mathematical realities”

      That’s an acute case of newspeak right there.

      • Gustave Lytton

        You’re just a reality denier.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Like I said upthread, I can’t see how Trump loses Florida. If he were to lose it, it would signal that he’s going to get crushed in a landslide.

      • Florida Man

        I think Florida went for Obama twice, and he has finally started campaigning for Biden.

      • Ownbestenemy

        The possibility of large republican turn-out against Trump lingers…time will tell.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        On the bright side, that would end this election quickly.

    • leon

      About 2 Million people live in Miami Dade, which could easily wipe out that lead. 100,000 ammounts to a amargin of about 1% of the votes cast. very thin.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Some Twitter person is claiming:
      URGENT
      Miami dade people we need 25,000 more republican votes to turn Miami completely red and win the mayoral seat. Those in Miami Dade go vote!

      I try not to link to twitter anymore. Ill just copy and paste that nonsense.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      LOL, what an asshole. He just blew up any chance he had of ever getting rehired.

      Something good has come out of this day.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Don’t know how that happened….but it did.

      • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

        Step one: Be a blithering idiot Keith Olbermann
        Step two: Try to come up with a cute alternative to cunt that shows your withering contempt for Trump
        Step three: Have contempt for black people
        Step four: Be a bithering idiot Not have a filter that warns you when you have just called Trump something half a step away from nigger

        or just be a blithering idiot Keith Olbermann

      • Ownbestenemy

        True, true.

      • Suthenboy

        I still dont get it. Kunta Kinte is a fictional character who, IIRC, was not a villain or suffered any particular character faults. He was just unfortunate to be enslaved.

        Does Olbermann think that calling someone ‘a black guy’ is an insult? He is a democrat so maybe that is it. They are, after all, the party of the KKK.

      • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

        Using a name that is well known as a member of a community, in an insult, is to my mind pretty clearly akin to using an epthet for that community. Calling someone Mr. Moto = nip.

    • mrfamous

      If this is an autocorrect thing, it may be just about the greatest autocorrect mistake of all time.

    • leon

      Ok glib laides, i need a referee call. But it seems like calling someone a C***e should still land him in trouble with the progressives.

      • Brochettaward

        My mother would scream like a banshee and start beating me anytime I called her a cunt.

        And yes, she is a Democrat.

      • leon

        I don’t think i’ve ever used the word. I just really don’t like it, something about it is incredibly distastful to me. Not that i’m particularly shocked when i hear or read it, just not the kind of slur i like to use.

      • Trigger Hippie

        I use it far too often. Almost to the point of being Irish.

      • Bobarian LMD

        something about it is incredibly distast[e]ful to me.

        Not a fan of the cunnilingus?

      • leon

        Did i give you permission to correct my spelling?!

      • KOVIDKristen

        My first iteration of the KK moniker was “KuntyKristen”, so ?

      • Florida Man

        My wife has no problem with the C-word and doesn’t get it when people get the vapors over it.

    • Suthenboy

      I dont think that is an autocorrect. I have no idea what it is supposed to mean, but I dont think it is a typo.

      • mrfamous

        My guess is he spelled with a ‘K’ and auto-correct FIFH. If he actually intentionally used Kunta Kinte as a type of bastardized cockney rhyming slang sort of thing, his obvious belief in his own superior intellect is badly misplaced.

      • Suthenboy

        Yep. He isn’t alone. The media is infested with Dunning-Kruger.

  51. Hyperion

    Woe be thee so vote for me

    This is pretty accurate. The left are a death cult, so now the dems are a death cult. Our message is vote for us because we’re all doomed anyway.

    • wdalasio

      If Biden really had gotten known as the Dark Winter candidate, the president would be well advised to use the following for his victory speech if he should win:

      Now is the winter of our discontent
      Made glorious summer by this sun of York;
      And all the clouds that lour’d upon our house
      In the deep bosom of the ocean buried.
      Now are our brows bound with victorious wreaths;
      Our bruised arms hung up for monuments;
      Our stern alarums changed to merry meetings,
      Our dreadful marches to delightful measures.
      Grim-visaged war hath smooth’d his wrinkled front;
      And now, instead of mounting barbed steeds
      To fright the souls of fearful adversaries,
      He capers nimbly in a lady’s chamber
      To the lascivious pleasing of a lute.

  52. Brochettaward

    Election day aint no holiday. I expect on time links!