North to Alaska III – Decisions

by | Nov 16, 2020 | Licensing, LifeSkills, Outdoors | 198 comments

North to Alaska III – Decisions

Mrs. Animal and I have been planning this for twenty years.  We’re now at the light at the end of the tunnel stage.  Here is the next installment of the story of our planned move from Colorado to Alaska.

Evaluating Houses

We spent the week of November 2nd in Alaska, doing a deeper dive into areas and looking at some houses we had identified in real-estate web sites.  Arriving in the Great Land on a Friday afternoon, we spent the weekend doing drive-by looks at a few of the places that we were skeptical about before meeting with our realtor on Monday at the wonderful Palmer Ale House – a fun little local place with great food and a good beer selection, by the way, and one I highly recommend if you’re ever in Alaska.  The rest of the week was spent actually looking at properties.

Considerations:

We had a few particulars we wanted in a house, and there were a few deal-breakers.

The particulars:

  • I wanted a little bit of space, at least a couple of acres, to give us some breathing room between us and any neighbors.  It’s been said that privacy is the last great luxury, but in Alaska, it’s one you can have.
  • Zoning, as in un-zoned. While not a deal-breaker if the right house came up, I wanted a place that I could shoot on, and also not have any busybodies come out whining if I decided to run up an outbuilding.
  • Water access (as in, lakefront property) would be nice, preferably lake access as I’m rather paranoid about flooding, given that I grew up on the banks of a big Iowa trout stream notorious for flooding.  But water access adds a fair amount to the price of a house in Alaska.
  • Good hunting and fishing nearby – say, within an hour’s drive – is a must, but in Alaska, that’s almost everywhere.
  • Minimal stairs. We wanted to keep it on one level if possible, due to Mrs. Animal’s disability.  Having the master bedroom on another floor is doable, as we’d only be going up there once or twice a day, normally just to sleep.
  • Storage and workshop space. I need a place to set up my gunsmithing and reloading equipment.  Mrs. Animal needs storage for books and room for her sewing gear.  That amounts to a fair amount of space required for business and hobbies.
  • Office space. We both run businesses out of the house and need room for the computer equipment required.

The deal-breakers:

  • Some of the newer areas and the new construction options were in covenanted areas.  None had an active HOA enforcing those, and some were more acceptable than others.  Mind you our current house in Colorado has covenants and an HOA, but the rules are not restrictive and the HOA pretty laid-back (I was on the Board myself for a three years) so we’ve been dealing with that issue, but when we move I’d rather not have extra-legal rules on what I’m doing on my own place.
  • Give our requirements for access to the airport and the VA hospital in Anchorage, and our desire to be in the Mat-Su region, our northernmost limit was on the Parks Highway at the Hatcher Pass turnoff a little ways north of Willow, and our easternmost, the Glenallen Highway at Chickaloon.
  • Extensive repair. Some houses sold “as-is,” or even wackier, some houses that were listed as “no inspection allowed” or even “no interior walkthroughs allowed” were right out.  Ditto for some we saw listed with earthquake damage or structural problems.

The Houses

Over the weekend we ruled out several places just with a drive-past.  One, while roomy and interesting, was too far north, being almost halfway from Willow to Talkeetna, and was awfully rough.  Another was too small and lay on a small lot within the Palmer city limits.  A couple of others that might have worked proved to have been under contract; real estate is going fast in Alaska these days.

We chatted with some locals as well.  What was really interesting was the stock response from folks in Willow, Wasilla, and Palmer when we mentioned we were looking to move north to Alaska: “Which of the forty-eight are you fleeing from?”

On Tuesday, we started looking at houses, but nothing really stood out.  One was on an acre of land with a small pond, but the driveway looked horrible – crooked, tilted and mostly mud.  Also, it was in a development, so zoning.  We didn’t even go inside.

One ranch-style house was promising and could have worked, but only a quarter-acre lot, no storage or workshop space, although we were tempted by a view of the lake and a boat ramp to said lake a few hundred yards away.

Another was even more tempting, being big, roomy, with plenty of space that could be used for workshop/storage/whatever, but it was a three-level place with lots of stairs and, like the other two, was in a zoned development.

There is a fair amount of developing going on in the Palmer area, so on Wednesday afternoon our realtor set up a meeting with the agency and builder that was working in the neighborhoods north and east of Palmer, doing new construction.  The builder laid everything out in great detail, including lot sizes (two to five acres) and custom options.  There were covenants in the new areas although no HOAs, all areas were zoned, and the price for a house laid out like we’d want was about fifty grand above what we were willing to spend, so that ended up being a non-starter.

But while we were discussing that, something new came in.

The Decision…

When we bought our house in Colorado, way back in 1997, our Colorado realtor had already shown us several places we didn’t care for.  When we arrived to look at the house we are in now, he met us at the door and said, “I think this might be the place for you.”  We went inside, and immediately said, “Yeah, I think this is the place.”

After our meeting with the new house builder on Wednesday, we had pretty much decided we weren’t going to find a place on this trip and decided to put off further searching until spring.  But then, as we were still sitting at the conference room table in the builder’s office, our realtor scanned her tablet quickly and said “…well, there’s this one that just was listed today; you might like it.”  We looked at the listing.  I asked if I could shoot on the place, since it seemed to be out in the woods.  The realtor consulted her tablet and said yes.  She showed us the photos of the property, and they looked interesting indeed, so we decided to go look at it the next morning.  The house photos showed promise; roomy, open concept, several outbuildings, all set on two acres of land a couple of miles south of Willow.

Thursday morning, we met the realtor at the place to do our walkthrough.  A half-mile up a graveled road from the highway, we came to a long driveway that led up to the big, open yard, in the middle of which lay the house and outbuildings comprising, in effect, a compound.  We walked into the house, looked around, and experienced the same reaction we had twenty-three years earlier: “I think this is the place.”

 

It was indeed open, with a huge living room, a new custom kitchen, and two guest bedrooms and a full bath on the main floor.  The master suite lay upstairs, with another full bath, two closets, and a crawlspace/attic for storage.

Outside there was a lovely little outbuilding the current owner used as an office and craft shop, wired, and heated but not plumbed.  Another, larger (and somewhat uglier) building with no windows, built in part around an old sea-land van, proved to be a former legal grow facility, but could easily be converted into more storage and workshop space.  Heating was a combination of oil heaters (we will probably convert to natural gas), wood, and electric baseboard.  Air conditioning, of course, isn’t necessary in Alaska.

There was no direct water access on the property, but the Nancy Lake and Sustina River boat ramps proved to be only minutes away.

We looked at everything, told the realtor we’d have to talk, and went for a long drive, almost to Talkeetna, to do just that.  Within the hour we had called, placed a bid on the house, and that evening, it was accepted.

The first Glibertarian to learn of our purchase was in fact our good friend and fellow Alaskan 61North, with whom we had dinner in Anchorage the evening of our Nov 7th flight back to Colorado.

So now, we have a lot of packing to do.  We’re not taking much of any furniture that distance, but in almost thirty years of marriage, you accumulate a lot of stuff, not least of which is an extensive gun collection that has to move through Canada.  Some guns just can’t be taken though Canada.  Our AR-15s are already in Alaska, in a secure storage, having been taken up courtesy of United Airlines in checked baggage.  We’ll probably do the same with the handguns we can’t drive through.  The rest of our guns we can take on the drive, as long as Canada’s bureaucratic hurdles are satisfied.

We’re planning on driving the AlCan with truck and trailer probably in late March, with a good amount of our stuff; Mrs. Animal will probably be spending a fair amount of time in CO getting the remainder of our stuff packed up for the moving company and (with the help of our kids) getting our huge barn of a Colorado house ready to sell.

It’s going to feel odd leaving the Colorado place.  We’ve been living there twenty-three years, longer than either of us have ever lived anywhere in our lives.  We’ve raised four daughters in that house.  We’ve loved the house; we’ve lived and loved in the house.  But a house like this is far too big for a couple.  It should have a family in it, and it’s time we moved on and let that big rambling place be the home for another growing, young family, assuming any growing young families can afford that place given the loony Colorado real-estate market.

But the bright side there, is that the cash-out of the Colorado place should almost, if not completely, pay off the mortgage we took out on the Alaska place, leaving us mortgage-free (hopefully) for the rest of our lives.

For almost as long as we’ve lived in the Colorado house, we’ve been planning our move to the Great Land, to spend our golden years there.  Now our dream is coming true at last. And boy howdy, does it feel like a great time to get out of the Forty-Eight.

We’re pretty damned excited.  More to come as the move starts – one of the key elements of that move will be driving the Alaska-Canada Highway, which should yield some interesting insights.  Stay tuned.

About The Author

Animal

Animal

Semi-notorious local political gadfly and general pain in the ass. I’m firmly convinced that the Earth and all its inhabitants were placed here for my personal amusement and entertainment, and I comport myself accordingly. Vote Animal/STEVE SMITH 2024!

198 Comments

  1. Brochettaward

    With talk of getting rid of old comments, this will be my last First. My accomplishments will all be lost to time like tear drops in the rain. Don’t cry for me, for I am already dead.

  2. Not Adahn

    Congrats!

    Driving through Canada in March sounds potentially interesting.

  3. l0b0t

    Animal, the new digs look gorgeous. I’ve always planned to retire to my beloved native land of Florida, but Alaska is looking better every day. I’m curious as to what the “transport through Canada” rules are for firearms; at what point does shipping by sea become necessary?

    • Animal

      It’s complicated. Here’s a start point. I’ll be looking into it more as we get closer, I think that other than a few handguns I’ll be able to transport most of my guns and ammo through.

      • Not Adahn

        Crate them up and ship them to yourself as tractor parts?

      • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

        I think you can send them and pick them up when you arrive. The guy in the campsite next to me explained that this is how he does it when he drives up there.

    • PieInTheSky

      nonsense stay near the big city with the civilized people

  4. Not Adahn

    To bring in the Alaskan news item from the last post, I’d have thought that the engine on that palne would have been messier. I guess bears don’t explode as much when you hit them at 60 mph.

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      It looks like the engine must have just clipped the bear’s back.

  5. Sean

    Congrats Animal!

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      OBEY

    • Kwihn T. Senshel

      A comment below that:

      Catturd ™
      @catturd2
      ·
      22h
      My new Dominion car sucks.

      Drove it to the store and it already has 489,000 miles on it.

      • Rebel Scum

        Nice.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Seen these before. Absent some local station feelgood story, they all report the same exact thing.

  6. Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

    I love Alaska, but I don’t think I’d be able to handle the long nights in the winter time. Trying to get some sleep in the summertime isn’t easy either.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Not to sound like a broken record, but in places where it snows a few times a week, how much time is lost moving snow out of the way?

      • invisible finger

        Private property or public property?

        Time spent moving snow is time not wasted in a gym.

      • invisible finger

        In non-winter months I average about 90 minutes a week mowing the lawn.

        In winter months, I’d guess it averages about 15 minutes per inch of snowfall clearing the driveway/sidewalk. Chicago averages about 4 inches of snowfall per week in winter, so it’s less time than lawn mowing. Average rarely happens in a typical snow storm, you get 10 inches one day and then another 4 two days later, then nothing for a week…. so you can’t let it go another day or two like you can with a lawn.

        So you can’t have a sort of regimen with snow removal like you can with lawn mowing. But if you like regimentation you’re a socialist.

      • blackjack

        Ha! We have illegal aliens mow our lawns. 0 minutes, every time.

      • leon

        I’m confused…. In places where it rains a lot how much time is wasted cutting the lawn?

      • PieInTheSky

        so desert is best?

      • leon

        How much time is wasted fixing AC/Swamp Cooler?

      • Certified Public Asshat

        IF answers my question, seems like it is just trading yard work for shoveling snow. Except, IMO shoveling snow is more miserable work.

  7. PieInTheSky

    Congrats on the purchase

    “Our AR-15s are already in Alaska, in a secure storage, having been taken up courtesy of United Airlines in checked baggage. We’ll probably do the same with the handguns we can’t drive through. The rest of our guns we can take on the drive, as long as Canada’s bureaucratic hurdles are satisfied.”

    “There was no direct water access on the property, but the Nancy Lake and Sustina River boat ramps proved to be only minutes away.”

    With guns and potential boats involved, take care no mishaps take place

  8. Rebel Scum

    Truth and reconciliation.

    HABFoundation
    @ABFalecbaldwin

    Bury Trump in a Nazi graveyard and put a swastika on his grave.
    The majority of Americans made the right choice.
    Trump is a maniac.

    Sheila J. Joe Biden is our 46th President
    @smj327

    no. he does not deserve a burial. dump him in an unmarked grave or better yet in a crematorium.

    • The Other Kevin

      When Trump was elected the first time, I remember people on Facebook who “literally feared for their lives” because of what Trump supporters would do to LGBT people or minorities.

      • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

        We had a company meeting after the 2016 election, and one woman was literally shaking. Not “literally”. It was truly bizarre.

        Fortunately our CEO stayed apolitical and said he’d work with the Trump Administration just as the company had worked with previous administrations.

    • leon

      Love and Unity! Can you feel it?

    • Chipwooder

      I think I’ve mentioned this before, but Alec (then known as “Zander”) Baldwin was a close friend of my uncle when they were kids. Mom says he was a horrible little shit, like Eddie Haskell but meaner.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        I can see that.

    • R C Dean

      I still think the odds are that he gets prosecuted after he leaves office.

      If he somehow pulls off getting re-elected, maybe not. But if he’s out of office in 2021, Dem AGs and Harris’s DOJ will dogpile him.

      • blackjack

        No. He’s just waiting for the robot from the future to show up and start shooting all the dominion voting machines.

  9. Yusef drives a Kia

    God Bless you Animal! what a wonderful place!

  10. PieInTheSky

    Lemme see now it is 16th november… was about a 12C high 2C low today.

    google.com “willow, ak weather” 8AM clear -18 C. Lol. Not only no but hell no. Aint no liberty worth that.

    Is there a garage on the property? How is the insulation on the house?

    • Animal

      There is a heated garage, the insulation on all buildings is Alaska-level tough stuff.

      And the high today in Willow should be 21, so not so bad. Those are good honest ‘Merican degrees, mind you, not sissified EU degrees.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        21 is bad, even as a low.

        I’m happy that you’re happy though. Congrats!

      • Pope Jimbo

        Huh? Last week I sat on the deer stand and it was 24 and it felt perfect. Especially when the sun came out and shone on you.

        With the invention of miracle fibers like GoreTex and Polar Fleece, it is amazing how warm you can stay by investing in some decent clothing. I like living in Minnesoda better than Memphis. I can always put on more clothes to stay warm. When I doffed my clothes in Memphis, not only did the neighbors get upset, but the local news stations were inundated with Fat Elvis sightings.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        “People report an old skinny Man in Board shorts today, Mental health authorities were summoned”

      • Not Adahn

        Many moons ago, we did winter camping in the Boundary waters. We used Canadian army surplus and on your feet you’d wrap a polar fleece “batwing” around it and then stuff it into a mukluk to hold in in place. At the end of the day, there’s be a layer of ice on the outside of the polar fleece from the wicked-out sweat, but the toes remained comfortable.

      • Animal

        Old U.S. Army “Bunny Boots” work amazingly well, too. I wore a pair during the Army’s Winter Operations course at Camp Ripley, MN, in the mid-Eighties. Two battalions of infantry in the field for three weeks, almost never above zero, one case of frostbite, the tip of one index finger.

        It’s all about having the right gear.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        It felt perfect after wearing miracle fibers, which to me means not perfect.

      • Ted S.

        Depends on whether it’s a dry cold or a wet cold.

        St. Petersburg, Russia in late March when it was a few degrees above freezing with a cold wind and wet snow off the Gulf of Finland, was some of the worst weather.

      • Not Adahn

        Oooh, ya. That’s the flip side of Houston’s “you inhale and immediately feel like you’re drowning.”

        And there were some summers in OK where I was certain that my shadow would be etched into the rocks, Hiroshima-style.

    • PieInTheSky

      I do like how the yard is surrounded by trees on all sides. Seems quiet unlike the street I live on.

    • blackjack

      In L.A., we sometimes see 40 degrees American. It seems a bit too cold to me. L.A. turns people into weather sissies.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        We got down to 26 in Ontario, that’s cold, in fact, it’s one degree colder than here right now,

      • Pope Jimbo

        We went on a family vacation to Hawaii a few years back. Honolulu had just set the coldest temp recording evah (52) the week before. When the locals found out we were from Minnesoda, they would excitedly tell us about the horrible cold we missed and how they now understood how cold a place could get.

        We’d just smile and politely agree with them. We didn’t want to tell them that if we had been there during the 52 degree day, we would have been out on the beach swimming and thinking the weather was great (when we left it was -15 with a windchill of -30).

      • blackjack

        Yeah, we’ve been that low, but it’s very rare. 40s is very normal for winter (LOL) here. We have two seasons, too hot and too cold. The whole rest of the world thinks our weather is perfect at all times.

      • blackjack

        Yeah, we’ve been that low, but it’s very rare. 40s is very normal for winter (LOL) here. We have two seasons, too hot and too cold. The whole rest of the world thinks our weather is perfect at all times.

      • blackjack

        ‘parently, when your comment times out and you hit refresh and then confirm resubmission, your post doubles in value, just like a Biden vote.

  11. KOVIDKristen

    Congrats you crazy kids

  12. PieInTheSky

    Office outbuilding – Isn’t the point of home office that you don’t need to put on pants? Although a walk to the office in winter will wake ya up for sure.

  13. Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

    I’m sure you already know this exists if you are moving to Alaska, but just in case. I’d take my guns up in my vehicle using the ferry.

    • PieInTheSky

      but what i f they fall in the ocean?

  14. grrizzly

    The place looks really nice. Congratulations!

  15. Sean

    Gonna get his and her’s snowmobiles?

    • Swiss Servator

      *Ahem* “Snow machines”.

  16. TARDis

    Looks great, Animal. I hope you get to enjoy it for many years to come.

    It looks like you have plenty of storage for your orphans too.

  17. Tundra

    Congratulations, Animal!

    I’m really happy for you and the missus. What a great adventure!

  18. DEG

    The new place looks great. Congratulations!

  19. Gustave Lytton

    Congratulations Animal! The new spread is downright beautiful. Very jealous now.

  20. Ownbestenemy

    Great looking place.

  21. Rebel Scum

    If you thought they were only gunning for 2A…

    Richard Stengel, the Biden transition team’s “Team Lead” for the U.S. Agency for Global Media, wrote a widely criticized op-ed last year in The Washington Post advocating for a crackdown on the First Amendment, specifically criminalizing hate speech. …

    “All speech is not equal,” Stengel claimed. “And where truth cannot drive out lies, we must add new guardrails. I’m all for protecting ‘thought that we hate,’ but not speech that incites hate. It undermines the very values of a fair marketplace of ideas that the First Amendment is designed to protect.” …

    “But as a government official traveling around the world championing the virtues of free speech, I came to see how our First Amendment standard is an outlier. Even the most sophisticated Arab diplomats that I dealt with did not understand why the First Amendment allows someone to burn a Koran. Why, they asked me, would you ever want to protect that?” he wrote. “It’s a fair question. Yes, the First Amendment protects the ‘thought that we hate,’ but it should not protect hateful speech that can cause violence by one group against another. In an age when everyone has a megaphone, that seems like a design flaw.”

    Stengel suggested that the problem with the Constitution was that it was “engineered for a simpler era.”

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Richard Allen Stengel is an American editor, author, and former government official. He was Time magazine’s 16th managing editor from 2006 to 2013. He was also chief executive of the National Constitution Center from 2004 to 2006, and served as President Obama’s Under Secretary of State for Public Diplomacy and Public Affairs from 2014 to 2016.

    • juris imprudent

      but it should not protect hateful speech that can cause violence by one group against another

      Funny, but his suggestion of “guardrails” is speech that is awfully close to inciting violence against the speaker.

    • WTF

      With government bureaucrats deciding which speech is acceptable, what could possibly go wrong?

    • blackjack

      Don’t worry, they seem to have lost their house majority. If they don’t get better, they won’t get better.

      • leon

        AOC for president. She’ll Concede even if she wins!

    • Raven Nation

      “Even the most sophisticated Arab diplomats”

      Maybe I’m reading that wrong, but that comes across as a condescending and somewhat racist commentary on the majority of Arab diplomats.

      • Ownbestenemy

        That is true, in his attempt to explain speech that incites hate, it seems…he did so himself.

      • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

        A Democrat said it, so it can’t be racist.

    • Ownbestenemy

      I keep hearing this or similar lines “…the Constitution was that it was “engineered for a simpler era.” or something similar, but really, what has changed that affects the words? I can only think of the persons and the type of persons they are, occupying our government as the only thing that truly breaks the Constitution.

      Pamphlets = Twitter/Social Media/Blogs
      News Papers/Periodicals = Online News Outlets/TV

      If they think there was no vitriol in the pamphlets, newspapers, etc back in the “simpler era” they are purposefully ignoring it. Also moving the goal posts from ‘hate speech’ to ‘speech that incites hate’ is quite clever, it is even more ambiguous.

      Officer: Why did you stab that guy?
      “Victim” He used speech that incited hate
      Officer: Have a nice day.
      “Perpetrator” Wait? I am the one going to prison? They stabbed me? I almost died!
      Officer: Your speech led them to do it. Sorry buddy.

      • kbolino

        It is based on a belief, against all evidence to the contrary, that modern man is more complicated, sophisticated, or intelligent than his predecessors. This belief is buoyed by the fact that some men alive today have some specific knowledge the ancients didn’t, like how semiconductors work, how to ship 10,000 TEU reliably across the ocean, or how to fight a battle with tanks and airplanes. But this specific knowledge has, it seems, come at the expense of more general knowledge, which hasn’t changed at all since the first stone was laid in the corner of the first pyramid.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        It’s the same conceit of the aristocracy, writ large. “Those icky poors of the past couldn’t possibly understand the needs of a modern, enlightened people like us”

      • leon

        ^^^^ This.

        I said it yesterday. It doesn’t matter how technologically advanced we become, Every person born still has to be taught the same things we all have learned. We build, we grow and we collect knowledge, to hand down to the next generation who has learn from the bottom back up.

        This is why things move cyclically. Because people are and always have been, the same.

        As it will be in the future, it was at the birth of Man
        There are only four things certain since Social Progress began.
        That the Dog returns to his Vomit and the Sow returns to her Mire,
        And the burnt Fool’s bandaged finger goes wabbling back to the Fire;

        And that after this is accomplished, and the brave new world begins
        When all men are paid for existing and no man must pay for his sins,
        As surely as Water will wet us, as surely as Fire will burn,
        The Gods of the Copybook Headings with terror and slaughter return!

    • leon

      “It’s a fair question. Yes, the First Amendment protects the ‘thought that we hate,’ but it should not protect hateful speech that can cause violence by one group against another. In an age when everyone has a megaphone, that seems like a design flaw.”

      Well we already have laws (constitutional or not) against things like Threats, and inciting Riots. What you are saying is that if someone threatens to cut your head off for saying something you should be prevented from doing that thing.

    • Chipwooder

      Evil motherfucker

    • Fatty Bolger

      it should not protect hateful speech that can cause violence by one group against another.

      Such as… criticizing the Crown and inciting violence against the British Empire?

      Stengel suggested that the problem with the Constitution was that it was “engineered for a simpler era.”

      Yet something tells me the thinking behind it may have been a bit more sophisticated than this guy’s.

    • Akira

      Between “hate speech”, “foreign interference in elections”, and “big money in politics”, I have no doubt that the Left will destroy the First.

      If their strategy will be anything like it is with the Second, brace yourself for an onslaught of media messages about how “the First Amendment doesn’t mean that anyone can just express any opinion they want”.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Popper looms large.

  22. juris imprudent

    More congrats – looks like a splendid place. You already got your bear carry piece for there?

    As for some houses that were listed as “no inspection allowed” or even “no interior walkthroughs allowed”, you might as well say YOU DON’T WANT TO BUY THIS.

  23. Pope Jimbo

    Congrats on the new digs.

    I’m assuming you can now add moose and caribou to your list of big game animals?

  24. The Hyperbole

    Great looking place Animal. Almost makes me regret fucking off for the last thirty+ years instead of working hard and saving for an Alaskan retirement of my own, almost. Now I’m off to the bar before they get shut down again to drink my lunch after putting in a grueling 4 hour day.

    • Mojeaux

      Quality of life, dude. Quality of life.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Mo, you would like my setup, the living room is my office/studio, small bedroom for sleep, and the master is Wardrobe/ Grow space, and a bit of storage.
        Plenty of room, for me

      • Mojeaux

        Oh very nice! Lots of room, not much stuff. That is totally my kind of minimalist setup.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I waited til I was 57 to buy something, I don’t regret not buying earlier, I would have lost it anyway,

    • Not Adahn

      To answer your question from the other day: go fast, don’t suck. I’ve also heard various violent exhortations regarding things to do to “it.”

      • The Hyperbole

        Much better than UCS’s reply, you gun nutz have slightly redeemed yourselves.

  25. Raven Nation

    Dittoes on the congratulations Animal.

  26. Gender Traitor

    Nice digs, Animal! Mazel tov! Will you have any interior shots for us next time, or would that show too much of the previous owners’ stuff? (Since it had just come on the market, they may not have had time to “stage” it.)

    • Animal

      There will be more as we start the move-in process, which due to the distance (3,200 miles) will be done in staged. Stay tuned.

  27. Surly Knott

    Congratulations!
    Moving is always an adventure, but this should be well worth it. May the place live fully up to your expectations and desires!

  28. wdalasio

    Congratulations, Animal! The place looks absolutely beautiful. I’m sure you’ll have some great stories to tell.

  29. juris imprudent

    OK, so to go OT, saw this piece and thought it had some relevance, even right here abouts.

    • blackjack

      Hey, man, we didn’t start the fire!

    • Rebel Scum

      Americans Were Primed To Believe The Current Onslaught Of Disinformation

      Correct but not how you mean.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      “(without evidence)”

      They may be able to dispute the evidence and eventually debunk the evidence, but this whole “without evidence” bullshit is so mendacious.

      • Rebel Scum

        The current term is “no evidence of widespread voter fraud”.

        this whole “without evidence” bullshit is so mendacious

        Malicious disinformation on the part of people accusing other of disinformation.

      • kinnath

        It didn’t need to be widespread.

        It was targeted fraud. Milwaukee, Detroit, Philidelphia, and Atlanta.

        Four cities was all it took.

      • R C Dean

        I’m not sure about Phoenix, either, but I don’t think it was as much of an outlier as those four.

        Of course, since Phoenix has been heavily ballot harvested for awhile, its hard to know what the baseline would be.

      • blackjack

        ” Under no circumstances should Joe Biden concede!”

    • WTF

      Let me guess, they make no mention of the literally dozens and dozens of sworn affidavits attesting to witnessing fraud under penalty of perjury, and make no mention of the multitude of red flags with precious little to explain them other than the appearance of fraud.
      Amirite?

      • Rebel Scum

        Sworn statements under penalty of perjury is not evidence, comrade.

        Unless it is. Speaking of that, would you sign this document? There is no need to read it.

    • Fatty Bolger

      IKR? After having his campaign spied on by the prior Democratic administration, a completely fabricated Russian collusion investigation set into motion by Democrats, impeachment by Democrats for wanting investigate something a Democrat actually did, and evidence of corruption by that same Democrat coming up later but buried by the Democratic supporting media… warning that Democrats might cheat in the election was completely unfounded.

      • Raven Nation

        I was listening to a CATO podcast yesterday and part of it was the two experts aghast at Trump’s refusal to accept defeat in the election and pointing to it as a sign that Trump’s inability to accept truth (a not invalid criticism).

        This from the same CATO Institute which went on for two years presenting serious reports about the collusion between Trump and Putin to fix the 2016 election and who had at least one contributor arguing that Trump should be impeached for paying hush money to a woman several years before he ran for president.

    • wdalasio

      The open bias of the media is what’s made the public prone to “disinformation”. When you know the people identifying truth and falsity are lying through their teeth to arrive at their preferred outcome, it becomes hard to know exactly what is true or false.

      The truth is even the top line numbers for the election look fishy. Biden wins the presidency while every other contested race goes to the Republicans? I’m not saying it isn’t possible. But, that kind of negative coattails would be a first. It certainly merits further scrutiny. And that’s just the top line number. The media responding to anyone questioning these results with charges of “disinformation” or “how DARE you question the integrity of our elections!!!” makes clear they don’t want to investigate the matter. They have a narrative that they demand be obeyed. In that environment, even legitimately untrue claims have no reference for comparison.

      • zwak

        This pretty much sums it up. When every thought to looking into discrepancies is met with #howdareyou! it starts to look a little fishy. Not saying it is necessarily bad or false, just that it needs to be looked at. But any mention of that is met with screams of “Heretic!!!”

  30. Rebel Scum

    Maybe this and this go together?

    All this delay and teasing is affecting the temperature of my nips.

    • Sean

      Release the Kraken!

    • Not Adahn

      No believing it.

      It’s just the Trump sides’ “there is clear evidence of collusion.”

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Ill believe it when I see it.

      • R C Dean

        Same here. Like the Durham indictments.

        I’ll also point out that her last high-profile client, Flynn, is still a convict.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Here’s what I’m having the hardest time believing. I don’t think that Trump 1) is capable of springing a trap to the level required to pull off what that video claims; and 2) is dumb enough to think that a civil war could possibly be prevented if fraud were exposed on the level they’re talking about.

        If that shit turns out true, holy crap, I’ll see y’all in the 23rd Glibs regiment. I’ll not be holding my breath, though.

      • blackjack

        It’s the year 2020, I still won’t believe it, even after I’ve seen it.

      • kinnath

        a

      • Rebel Scum

        I still won’t believe it, even after I’ve seen it

        But will you now, here, in front of all of us, once and for all condemn white-supremacy?

  31. hayeksplosives

    Congratulations on the fruition of your plans.

    May you live long and be let alone by the government.

  32. Rebel Scum

    Impeach the Gretch.

    Maddock posted a list of reasons for why he believed Whitmer should be impeached:

    Ignored court orders.
    Violated our Constitutional rights.
    Completely ignored due process and the legislature.
    Weaponized contact tracing databases to aid democrat campaigns.
    Using our kids as political pawns and denied special needs students who depend on the services that occur during in-person classes. Caused the unnecessary death of thousands of our vulnerable elderly who died alone and scared in nursing homes.

    In Michigan, the House of Representatives initiates impeachment and a majority vote is required. In the next legislative session, Republicans will have a 58-52 majority, according to Mlive.

    • blackjack

      That criterion why leave precious governors in office, nowadays.

      • blackjack

        * would, not why.

      • leon

        Hang ’em High?

  33. The Late P Brooks

    From Juris Imprudent’s link:

    To a certain extent, disinformation about the results of the election was expected. Experts have been warning about it for weeks.

    Something something red mirage.

    Now you see it, now you don’t.

    • R C Dean

      I try not to believe anything any political party wants me to believe until I get independent verification of it, to some level.

      What’s sticking in my craw right now is that Dominion is owned by Pelosi’s husband and run by her chief of staff. I think, based on what purports to be corporate filings that were published on the internet. I haven’t seen any denials, which helps.

      Under no circumstances should any state ever use voting software, machines, fuck, even paper ballots from a company owned and controlled by the leaders of a political party. It should be a total non-starter. But here we are.

      • kinnath

        Dominion is owned by Pelosi’s husband and run by her chief of staff.

        Hadn’t seen that.

        Surely someone can spin that into a treason charge and make it stick.

      • R C Dean

        Now I’m seeing something different/my recollection is off.

        Now I’m seeing that Feinstein’s husband is a big shareholder (the corporate filings I saw put it at 60%); this may be my memory being off. I can’t seem to lay my mouse pointer on the corporate filings that were published; could have been a bogus Repub op, or it could be more coverup by the DemOp Media and Tech Lords.

        I’m also not seeing anything specific on Pelosi’s chief of staff being involved as an executive (although maybe as a lobbyist; how does that work, again?).

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        It’s damn hard to know what is true these days. Both sides have zero credibility.

      • R C Dean

        Both sides have zero credibility.

        Indeed. Its a fucking wilderness of mirrors out there.

    • Fatty Bolger
  34. Fourscore

    Good deal, Mr Animal. I envy you, both in your relocation choice and in words you’ll never hear again, I envy your youth. Great that you are are able to do the things you want and are able to do. A word of caution, however, the years speed by quickly. Do the hunting/fishing/outdoor stuff now and don’t quit.

    The days spent in the woods or in a boat don’t count against you. My hat is off to both you and Mrs Animal.

  35. Rebel Scum

    A return to normalcy.

    “I believe that they will restore a bunch of norms — respect for science, respect for facts, respect for rule of law that I think have been breached over the last four years — but some of the bigger challenges in bringing the country together, that’s going to be a project that goes beyond just one election,” Obama said.

    Yeah, Trump set you guys back a few years.

    • leon

      respect for science, respect for facts, respect for rule of law that I think have been breached over the last four year

      What he means is “respect for our authority!”

      Yeah i think respect for the establishment and the reigning government is irreparably damaged. Just becaues you have regained power, doesn’t magically give you respect from the right back.

      Of course in their world, the right don’t count as real people. The Media will work overtime labeling anyone opposed to biden as “Far-Right” and “Conspiracy Theorist”, ensuring that anyone in who still listens to the media is dutifully acquiescent to the reigme.

    • Akira

      bringing the country together

      I’m not even sure what they mean when they say this other than “shutting up everyone who disagrees with us“.

      • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

        The Revolution cannot achieve true socialism until the wreckers and splitters are eliminated. Only then wil the triumph of love over hate be complete.

    • B.P.

      That asshole is releasing his third memoir.

      • kinnath

        Ka-Ching!

  36. The Late P Brooks

    What’s sticking in my craw right now is that Dominion is owned by Pelosi’s husband and run by her chief of staff. I think, based on what purports to be corporate filings that were published on the internet. I haven’t seen any denials, which helps.

    Oh, piffle. That’s just good old fashioned inside the beltway self-dealing and graft; it doesn’t mean there was election fraud.

  37. The Late P Brooks

    Thumbs were sucked

    Put simply, it’s another data point in a saga of national exhaustion and media overload — particularly in the can’t-get-away-from-it era of the coronavirus pandemic.

    “If we are burned out with the presidency, how do we go forward in terms of how we consume media?” wonders Apryl Alexander, an associate professor of psychology at the University of Denver who studies how people and communities meet challenges. “I have a text message from friends the minute I wake up about something (Trump) said. I think Biden and his camp are going to have to navigate this.”

    In many ways, it transcends Trump. The primacy of the presidency is so deeply embedded in American culture that it’s often hard to look away when the occupant is saying, “Look at me.”

    Though the U.S. government has three branches, the chief executive has come to embody the national psyche, the national mood, the national character. It’s hard to imbue a legislative body or a court with the personality of a nation. The president, though, is expected to channel all of that — and so, in a society weaned on heroes and outsized figures, commandeers the attention.

    “We don’t look at the office; we look at the person. And Donald Trump has been the ultimate personality,” says Anthony DiMaggio, a political scientist at Lehigh University who teaches media politics and propaganda. “It’s not the greatest way to have a nuanced understanding of our political system. But it’s easy.”

    And, of course, it never ever occurs to these people that perhaps the President and the government play a greater role in our daily life than necessary or proper.

    What we need is the *right* all knowing omnipotent Messiah; not that jerk Trump.

    • Gustave Lytton

      All hail Pater Patriae!

  38. Sensei

    Enjoy Animal!

    I can’t wait to pull the ripcord on NJ, but that’s a few years away assuming the economy and my job don’t completely dry up.

  39. R C Dean

    Interesting tidbit about the PA vote counting:

    You’ll notice that after the 11/4/20 23:00Z cutoff time, only swings of Biden votes (in multiples of 6,000 at a time) seem to have been received.

    Statistically, these changes make no sense. They’re not just improbable, they appear to be impossible.

    It looks to me like bundles of around 6,000 votes were used to slowly overcome any Trump lead. The correlation is uncanny.

    This correlates with my theory that the Dems had a stockpile of manufactured ballots waiting to be fed into the system as needed. I’d be curious to know if 6,000 ballots is the load for some sort of standard container.

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      That lines up with anecdotes of ballots showing up in U-Hauls or other such means of conveyance, from God knows where.

      There is an organization that is using changes of address data and correlating them with absentee ballots. I don’t know if there are enough votes there, but I thought it was an interesting approach.

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      Take with a massive grain of salt:
      https://buffalochronicle.com/2020/11/14/exclusive-how-a-philly-mob-boss-stole-the-election-and-why-he-may-flip-on-joe-biden/

      But an associate says that Merlino might just be willing to flip on Joe Biden and the Pennsylvania political operatives who ordered up some 300,000 election ballots marked for Biden. The source alleges that Merlino and a lean team of associates manufactured those ballots at a rate of $10 per ballot — a whopping $3 million for three days of work. They were then packaged into non-descript cardboard boxes and dropped off outside the Philadelphia Convention Center.

      Sources who spoke to The Chronicle on the condition of anonymity say that Merlino picked up those ballots from two private households where a trusted handful of associates were busily marking ballots with Sharpie markers. They were paid more than $1,000 per hour, often producing thousands of ballots every hour for more than 60 nearly-consecutive hours.

      The ballots were purchased in cash.

      • blackjack

        You don’t need mob bosses. Los Angeles created this system and first used it in ’18. The ’18 election was a joke and the first blue wave, basically the prototype for 2020. The chairman of the board of Smartmatic is now on Biden’s transition team. Go long on tinfoil and haberdashery.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Smartmatic also performs its own evaluations. All systems undergo extensive performance evaluations that includes examination and testing of system software; software source code review and evaluation; hardware and software security penetration testing; hardware testing under conditions simulating the intended storage, operation, transportation, and maintenance environments; inspection and evaluation of system documentation; and operational testing to validate system accuracy, performance and function under normal and abnormal conditions.

        JHTFC

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Mobsters influencing elections? Never heard of such a thing.

  40. OBJ FRANKELSON

    Congrats!

    I did a little looking and I think I found your next Grocery Getter

  41. Sean

    https://www.rebelnews.com/chicago_enters_stay_at_home_lockdown_for_30_days

    “You must cancel normal Thanksgiving plans, particularly if they include guests that do not live in your immediate household,” Mayor Lori Lightfoot said.

    Uh huh. ?

    The new measures will take effect at 6 a.m, and last for a minimum of 30 days.

    Let’s just call it through the rest of 2020.

    • kinnath

      The authoritarians have had their taste of smack, and now they are hooked.

      We will forever forward live in a state of perpetual emergency.

      The little people shall do as they are told. Most of them will, and many will gleefully turn in anyone that doesn’t.

      The age of Karen has truly come to our shores.

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      They can eat an entire bag of syphilitic dicks. If they want to go full police state to enforce this, fine. Otherwise, STFU.

      P.S. Making rules you can’t/won’t fully enforce makes you look like an asshole and a shit leader.

    • R C Dean

      We had a meeting today where we were supposed to caution our staff against doing things over the holidays that might expose them to the ‘Vid.

      I said I was flying to Texas to spend Thanksgiving with my family. I pointed out that my parents are over 80, and we were getting to a pretty short number of holidays I could spend with them.

      Even though my plans are everything that we are supposed to tell staff not to do, nobody said a goddam thing.

      • pistoffnick

        We had a similar “all-hands” meeting. “We are not telling you not to spend the holidays with your family, but don’t spend the holidays with your family. It’s too big a risk for our company.”

      • Ownbestenemy

        Surprisingly, outside of (what really should be normal flu season settings) stay home if sick, planes will fly without you here at the Las Vegas ATCT, no suggestions have been made. The word was, yes you are federal facility, but follow the local/county/state guidelines.

        Hell we aren’t even required to get a test to come back to work if we get the flight surgeon to sign off after 10/day (if positive test) or 14/day (if suspected).

      • Sean

        Lead by example.

    • leon

      So… Great Reset? Usher in the Grand New Establishment Utopia?

      • Rebel Scum

        According to billionaire Bond villain, Klaus Schwab (I mean, seriously, that name?) there will be a great reset in which you will own nothing and you will be happy that way. ///buildbackbetter

    • Ownbestenemy

      “1 in 18 Chicagoans have active COVID-19 infections as of Nov. 13.” Is there anywhere you can find active cases to even verify that?

      • leon

        Why would you want to verify the truth? If the news reports it it must be true, becuase they don’t point anything not true.

      • R C Dean

        No, there isn’t. Because the vast majority of cases, even symptomatic cases, have little to no follow-up care. If you’re not hospitalized, ou’re basically told to self-quarantine, drink plenty of fluids, etc. Why, just like the flu, now that I think about it. Very few people get tested when they recover to see if they are still infected. Likely, only if your employer requires it (like mine).

        Asymptomatic cases, oddly, probably have a higher re-test rate to see if they are still “infected”. But I suspect that rate is also pretty low.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Yep, the disappearance of symptoms in symptomatic people is due to beating virus (largely, though symptoms can linger much longer beyond viral shedding/contagiousness) so isn’t a bad proxy.

  42. R C Dean

    That looks like one sweet spread, Animal.

  43. RAHeinlein

    Biden’s giving a press conference on “the economy” – essentially saying he should be President now to save jobs and also to develop a vaccine distribution plan. Obviously setting the stage so the coming recession/depression and additional Covid deaths occur because Trump didn’t vacate the White House two weeks ago.

    • Sean

      *polite applause*

  44. Drake

    Congrats – your first two requirements line up pretty well with my next house purchase. Space inside and out and no more obnoxious neighbors or HOAs.

  45. R C Dean

    Just for funsies, Mrs. Dean and I did a little searching yesterday on what’s available in Uruguay. We learned a couple of things:

    (1) There is some serious money in that country.

    (2) We found a few things that look like they would work for us. Like this one.

    • Homple

      I hope your Alaska venture turns out well for you. Best wishes and good luck.

    • leon

      I’ve only ever driven through Punta Del Este, but the place is a common tourist trap, so there are probably amenities available for non-spanish speaking Americans. But mostly Argentines visit.

      • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

        Make sure to identify yourself as British rather than American when you meet the Argentines.

      • leon

        Heh.

    • dontreadonme

      Yeah some really nice homes at a nice price point. We are heading down there to check out the vibe in person as soon as we can travel again.

  46. Homple

    Gauleiter Inslee has issued draconian shutdown orders for Washington State.

    “What you can and can’t do under Washington’s newest coronavirus stay-home restrictions”

    https://www.seattletimes.com/life/what-you-can-and-cant-do-following-washingtons-newest-november-coronavirus-lockdown-restrictions/

    There are no public protests that I can detect.

    I swear to God, two out of three people in this benighted state would stand patiently in line, 6 feet apart wearing face masks waiting to be loaded into cattle cars.

    • R C Dean

      I

      ndoor gatherings outside one’s household* are prohibited, unless:

      participants quarantine for 14 days prior to the gathering, or
      quarantine for seven days and receive a negative COVID-19 test within two days of the planned gathering.

      *A “household” is defined as individuals who reside in the same domicile

      Fuck. You.

    • Kwihn T. Senshel

      Welcome to my world. I’m struggling to not despair. I see plenty of people not liking this, but no one doing anything about it.

      The fact that Inslee was just re-elected (note the proportion of counties that did the deed), tells me that a not insignificant percentage of people disagree, but there seems to be little if any real pushback.

      I love the religious restrictions, too: You can get together (25% of you), but you can’t all sing, and can’t be together afterwards, etc. And yet there are almost no churches publicly pushing back either (although I’m aware of many that are quietly disobedient).

      Not sure what do to. As I said, despondency is looming, and I’m not sure how to avoid it…

      • zwak

        Not sure where you are in WA, but Oregon is the same pattern. You can tell Portland, the capital, and the two major college towns, and everything else is red. And our governor, along with being in lockstep with yours, governs as if there is nothing outside the 5 corridor, which ends in Eugene in her eyes. Word is she is looking for a sinecure in a Biden admin. And god have mercy on everyone’s souls at that point.

        And I hear you about the despondency.

      • Kwihn T. Senshel

        Aye. I’m on the west side of the Cascades. Grew up in King County, which is appropriately named, as if you take that one county out, Culp would have won the election (for those that don’t know, the challenger to Inslee was the Republic, WA sheriff that last year made headlines when he refused to enfoce the unconstitutional new gun laws).

        Extended family is scrambling to figure things out, because while most of us don’t have an ethical issue with civil disobedience, there’s the practical aspect of being reported by some Karen, etc. And while I’m blessed to have an extended family that truly gets along, it makes these kind of decisions that much harder (do we disobey? If so, by how much? who gets to visit whom?).

        Anyway, this place helps to keep me sane. Thanks for commiserating.

    • zwak

      Great, how long before C*** Klown follows suit.

  47. topnotchtoledo

    I love that a libertarian is entirely reliant on the govt to take care of them until the end. Way to have your cake and eat it too. You might as well be a school teacher. My uncle is exactly like all of you free leaders. Free health care for me, but nothing for thee. It’s very easy to advocate for libertarians when you are taken care of by the government.

    • wchipperdove

      Well well well!

      Looks like we got one o’ them here Tulpa Trolls, boys. [click-clack of shotgun being cocked]

  48. topnotchtoledo

    I love that a libertarian is entirely reliant on the govt to take care of them until the end. Way to have your cake and eat it too. You might as well be a school teacher. My uncle is exactly like all of you free loaders. Free health care for me, but nothing for thee. It’s very easy to advocate for libertarians when you are taken care of by the government.

  49. topnotchtoledo

    Am I the only one who sees this wild hypocrisy? How on earth can you military fucks be so strident in your independence and libertarian beliefs yet be 100% reliant on everything you espouse to despise? Honestly its fucking pathetic. My farmer unes are the same way, professing self determination and taking millions in government welfare at the same time. Why dont you buy private insurance? No one forced you to be a welfare recipient. It’s so fucking tiring hearing from the biggest welfare queens complain the most about govt. When were you last in the military Animal? The 60s? More than 50 years ago I’m guessing? Why the fuck does a person born 30 years after you left the military have to pay every cent of your health care? You aren’t a drain on America? Give me a fucking break.

  50. topnotchtoledo

    There seems to be a sizable percentage of folks here who derive their entire pay check from the government directly or indirectly. Its its higher than 2% than that is a travesty. Healthcare douchebags, govt contractors, military fucks, teachers and spouses of teachers, god knows what other leaches. I’d like to see the number of folks that get a govt paycheck or whose spouse, son daughter, or parent that gets a govt paycheck of pension or whose healthcare or education was or is paid for by the govt. I’m guessing that a lot of folks will keep to themselves because they know they are full of shit.
    ,