Poll: “Expired” Food

by | Nov 10, 2020 | Food & Drink, Poll | 434 comments

So, I wanted to make a new recipe today, which required flaxseed meal. The flaxseed meal on the pantry shelf definitely seemed off to me, so I thought I’d grind some of a bag of flax seeds I’d seen in another cabinet.

The “expiration” date on the package was June 30, 2020.

Would you:

a) Use it anyway.

b) Taste first to see if it’s still fine.

c) Throw it out.

d) Wonder who has two separate kinds of flaxseed in their kitchen.

 

Now for some things I guess it makes sense, but often I find that this is a completely arbitrary date dreamed up by lawyers. So many variables go into the shelf life of a food product, that I always assume they are giving a date of the earliest end of life based on the worst possible storage conditions.

What say you?

Discuss!

About The Author

SP

SP

I've got an idea! How about we just stick to the Constitution as written and then the government can leave me the fuck alone.

434 Comments

  1. LemonGrenade

    Most things will at least get the sniff test before I’ll toss them, if they’re past the expiration date. Like you said, a lot of it is awfully arbitrary.

    • straffinrun

      That’s why I have a daughter and wife. If they aren’t yakking, I dig in.

      • Floridaman

        But what if it is yak meat?

      • straffinrun

        Don’t talk back.

      • Floridaman

        Will I at least get some spending cash?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        After you take out the trash.

    • rhywun

      Yeah, sniff test. But I lean heavily towards “toss it” anyway. I have limited space and something passing the expiration date is a sure sign that I was probably never going to finish it and it needs to make room for something else.

      • straffinrun

        Whatever, Biden.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        *golf clap*

  2. Ownbestenemy

    That all depends on the food that is ‘expired’. I have ised milk past its date but after a smell test and taste test.

    • C. Anacreon

      The night before trash day, my wife goes through the fridge and tosses out anything that is past the ‘expiration date’. Many times I’ve tried to tell her some of those are ‘sell-by’ dates, not ‘use-by’ dates, and the food might be fine, to no avail. As a result we probably end up throwing out more good food than the average home.

      Personally, I would still go by my ‘young and single’ days method — if it smells ok, and there’s nothing obviously growing on it, it’s fine to eat. Somehow I was never hospitalized for food poisoning. But I’m sure our nation’s food producers are delighted to place liability-free premature expiration dates on packages when the food is almost certainly still OK for quite some time to come, because people like my wife will throw it out and go to the store for replacements. I’m almost certain that most expiration dates are placed to get you to buy more food, not to guide your eating dates.

  3. pistoffnick

    I regularly seek out the “reduced-for-quick-sale” items at the grocery store.

    I regularly eat the week old leftover chicken.

    I have canned goods from 2000 that are still edible.

    “That which doesn’t kill me, makes me stronger.”

    • pistoffnick

      Gas station sushi? Fuck yeah.

      Soon I will be invincible!

      *I’m only afraid of trichinosis. That’s why I cook my bear meat well done.

      • C. Anacreon

        You are correct, sir. While most people worry about the ‘tricky noses’ from undercooked pork, you can also get it from undercooked bear or dog meat.

        So make sure you cook that bear all the way through, and Fido too.

      • pistoffnick

        There hasn’t been a case of trichinosis from pork in 25 years in the US.

        One of the cool quotes from Steven Rinella after he contracted trichinosis from eating under-cooked bear meat: “At least I know that if some muthafucker, eats my flesh, he’s going to go through the same things I did.

  4. Tundra

    Well, I don’t use flaxseed, but I have to say: a) with a little helping of b).

    I don’t pay much attention to the dates. If it smells rancid, I’m out.

    • straffinrun

      Good luck solving the NYT crossword if you don’t use “flaxseed”. Seems to be an answer in every one of their puzzles.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Orr and Ott are their favorite “make this crossword work” answers.

      • Don escaped Two Corinthians

        none of those this week

        I didn’t like it at all

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        The WSJ doesn’t have a crossword, which annoys me.

      • Floridaman

        And the quality has declined to now hardly be any different than the NYT.

      • Tundra

        I let my subscription lapse. I’m tired of those fuckers.

      • Bobarian LMD

        The cartoons in both them papers suck.

      • topnotchtoledo

        This is the sort or horseshit that keeps me away from this site. The NYTimes is the same as the WSJ? Are you retarded? Or just spouting clearly false, look at how libertarian I am crap? The WSJ may not be as pure as the driven snow as you but they have a few million subscribers and you have zero. Give me a fuckung break

      • Gender Traitor

        This is the sort or horseshit that keeps me away from this site.

        You’re only encouraging us.

      • Floridaman

        And I should care about your opinion of me, why?

      • Brochettaward

        I, too, am very passionate about the WSJ. Particularly their news section. I denounce any Glibertarian speaking ill of it.

      • Floridaman

        Seems a bit odd denouncing other libertarians for having a difference in thought, or opinion but ok.

      • Brochettaward

        Alright, you know what? Now I double denounce you. You are now double denounced. Do you feel shame? Because you should.

      • Not Adahn

        Didn’t you flounce off?

      • Urthona

        Yeah it does.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Which edition? I only get the Saturday.

      • Urthona

        I was fairly certain that it was every day. My grandfather used to live with us before he passed and each day he would sit on the porch and smoke a cigar and do the WSJ crossword puzzle. That was the start of his day’s routine.

        Ok, just googled it. Apparently every day but Saturday. Ha.

      • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

        Diid they use erne? They always used erne when I used to do it.

      • C. Anacreon

        Seems like every crossword puzzle I’ve ever done works ‘erie’ in there somewhere.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Or eire.

    • LemonGrenade

      Once or twice, I ignored a smell because the expiration date on the package hadn’t passed yet. As the dinner got closer to completion, it would be apparent that was huge mistake, and it would inevitably end up tossed uneaten. Now if something smells off, I just toss it, even if it *should* still be good. Outside of long term non perishables, though, I don’t keep a ton of stock on hand.

      • juris imprudent

        I probably throw out more stuff “un-expired” but that tastes or smells wrong then I do the other way around. And I’m always annoyed that I didn’t manage to use something before it went bad (whether expired or not).

      • LemonGrenade

        Agreed. I have to police my fridge, as well, because my son is a lot more like pistoffnick and will eat it as long as there isn’t obvious mold on it. I’ve had to clean up the resulting mess when it made him puke a few times, too.

      • rhywun

        I’m the opposite. I’ll toss anything even remotely suspicious.

      • The Hyperbole

        Bow-chick-a-bow-bow…

      • rhywun

        😉

      • C. Anacreon

        Bow-chick-a-bow-bow…

        Actually, you aren’t supposed to use that anymore. Because of the “Ranch Animal Equity Act of 2015”, the modern pretend-porno-music expression is:

        Brown-Chicken-Brown-Cow…

  5. straffinrun

    American democracy metaphor?

    • Sensei

      OT: This is so on point. Transitive and intransitive verbs drive me nuts…

      https://youtu.be/l6NftBedWiw

      • straffinrun

        I like.

      • Sensei

        If you understand both languages he’s got a great dry humor.

      • Caput Lupinum

        Jobb, mint a szórendre hagyatkozni. Ja, és hogy minden főnév igévé változtatható. Már majdnem elfelejtettem, emlékezni kell arra is, hogy határozott vagy határozatlan formákat jelöljünk, amelyek megértése érdekében a szórendre támaszkodnak.

  6. mexican sharpshooter

    I’m going with D. Why multiple types of flax—

    —you know what? Nevermind.

    • Floridaman

      Because they are just flaxing about all the different stuff they have.

      • C. Anacreon

        That’s just what the PR flax are telling you.

      • Bobarian LMD

        I don’t understand one type of flaxseed.

  7. Sensei

    Depends on the item in question and what the consequences are after consumption.

    • MikeS

      ^ this ^

      And I lean heavily towards “due dates are suggestions.”

  8. Count Potato

    b & d

    Most expiration dates are bullshit. I’ve eaten yogurt months past the date.

    • MikeS

      Yep. Because of lactose intolerance I use almond milk for my Dyno-Bites; the expiration dates on that seem to be more geared toward sales than safety. I’ve used it (after a thorough smell and taste-test) far past the date.

  9. Florida Man

    D. I’m not sure I’ve ever eaten a flaxseed.

    • Sensei

      Linen gag?

      • Florida Man

        I don’t follow…

      • kinnath

        Linen is made from the fiber of the stalks of the flax plant. So that’s the joke, but not really since linen only comes from the seed after it is all grown up.

      • Florida Man

        I have a linen suit. I have never tried to eat it.

      • Sensei

        Linen is made from flax fibers. Strained joke.

      • pan fried wylie

        Strained. Like, through a cheesecloth? Damn, cotton.

    • straffinrun

      It tastes like jetsam and flotsam.

      • Florida Man

        The eels from little mermaid?

    • Bobarian LMD

      Have you ever bit a pillow?

  10. Floridaman

    I would say throw it out, but I have violated that rule myself, and paid the price for doing it.

  11. Scruffy Nerfherder

    5 months ago? In Arizona?

    Use it.

    Now 5 months ago in Florida is a different story.

    • wdalasio

      I will protect your healthcare like I protect my own family.

      So, you’ll let my healthcare make shady deals with the Ukrainians and Chinese and cover it up?

      • Floridaman

        No I think he means he will take 50% of it from us.

      • wdalasio

        That’s good.

    • pistoffnick

      Footjobs for every American male!

    • leon

      UBI but the government dictates how its spent? Not really UBI.

      • straffinrun

        Sorry. The “U” stands for “Ukrainian”.

      • C. Anacreon

        UBI stands for “U be illin'”

  12. prolefeed

    Perishable items – examine closely, toss if there’s the slightest hint it’ll make me sick. Except cheese – even if a bit moldy, just cut off the bad part.

    Frozen items – probably good, but check anyway.

    Non-perishable – most likely good, unless really old, in which case why hanging onto it.

    • R C Dean

      Pretty much the same for me.

      • straffinrun

        Good submission earlier today. I enjoyed it even though that may sound odd given the content. Reality is what it is.

      • Tundra

        Agree with this. I didn’t get to it until late, but it was fucking solid.

      • R C Dean

        Thanks.

        I was amused much of the commentary was still about the election.

      • Caput Lupinum

        We are (slightly) predictable creatures.

  13. wdalasio

    Isn’t the expiration date just a “sell-by” date? I’ve always assumed that it’s necessary to put in a little padding to get to the normal time for consumption.

    • blackjack

      I could see the argument that manufacturers leave some room at the end, and even more the idea that throwing it out means you have to buy more. However, I don’t want to spend my life eating food that has been declared unfit. Best case, it detracts from the quality, fresh ingredients and your dish is not as good as it ought to be. Worse case? Bad food can make you suffer.

    • rhywun

      I consider it a “best by” date if it says “expires”. But yes, if it deliberately says “sell by”, I pad it with a few more days.

    • Gadfly

      I’ve heard that it will say “Best By” or “Use By” if it’s just a sell by date but will say “Expires” if it actually has a high probability of going bad (and not just going bland). Don’t know if that’s 100% accurate, but it seems to hold up that most things I would think of as expiring have the one and most things I would think of as not have the other.

  14. blackjack

    I’ve had some bad experiences with out of date food. I toss it way before I try and use it. It’s just too traumatic to realize that thing you’re eating is rancid. Even worse is not finding out until the next day. I’m probably extreme about this, but I’d rather toss it than regret tossing it later.

  15. juris imprudent

    We dined at friends on Saturday and after dinner retired outdoors to enjoy a fire, and the plan was to make s’mores. They opened up the graham crackers and determined that there had been a stock rotation fail and these were more than just a little expired and stale. So just roasted marshmallows and chunks of chocolate, it was.

    • C. Anacreon

      Fess up. Your fire ‘for s’mores’ was really just a cover, you were actually burning legitimate Pennsylvania Trump votes.

  16. Gadfly

    For dry goods, my answer is B (taste it first), but for perishables I go with C (throw it out).

  17. Spudalicious

    Smell and taste. It’s pretty easy to figure out if it’s gone rancid.

    • rhywun

      Yeah, humans are well-designed to detect that.

    • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

      Cheese and lamb make this harder.

      • Not Adahn

        According to the good people at Neal’s Yard, “Cheese doesn’t go bad, it just turns into different kinds of cheese.”

    • Tundra

      Rancid?

      OK.

  18. trshmnstr the terrible

    Flax? Unless we’re talking years expired or stored improperly, you’re probably only dealing with a marginal decrease in flavor from some oils breaking down.

    Perishable stuff gets inspected, even if not yet expired.ive had enough rancid milk and slimy salad to last a lifetime.

    • rhywun

      Yeah, especially with milk I have different standards with different stores. The bigger supermarkets are generally trustworthy. The bodega… I love those guys, but I’m pretty sure their milk sits out on the street for a few hours before they get around to stocking it.

    • Count Potato

      Rancid oils are very bad for you.

    • pan fried wylie

      Flax is especially high in especially rancidating omega-3’s. The same property that makes it a good drying-oil for painting (flax aka linseed).

      The More You Know. GO JOE!

      • Count Potato

        Linseed oil is good to keep tools from rusting.

      • tripacer

        And rubbing into the school cormorant

      • tripacer

        And rubbing into the school cormorant

  19. blackjack

    These girls don’t seem to mind!

    • blackjack

      That’s the Manson girls “shopping” in Simi Valley during the post murder media blitz.

      • Tundra

        Did you watch Once Upon A Time in Hollywood? The dumpster diving was prominent.

      • blackjack

        Yup. The Spahn ranch they used was right down the street from where the real one was. Tarantino is hip to all the L.A. history.

      • Tundra

        I gotta say, that was a great fucking movie. The end really threw me.

      • Count Potato

        I thought it was good, but too long. Lots of unnecessary scenes.

      • Tundra

        Perfect to kill the time on a flight!

      • blackjack

        Much of that was Quentin expressing his love for L.A. of yesterday and the movie industry. It’s a way more meaningful movie to someone who grew up here around the time in question. Lots of details that tell you he grew up here too at the same time. Like the shit you saw looking out the back window from rear facing seats in a station wagon. He nails that stuff.

      • Count Potato

        True, but I didn’t see the point of the whole Sharon Tate goes to town to buy a book and watch a movie sequence.

      • Tundra

        True, but I didn’t see the point of the whole Sharon Tate goes to town to buy a book and watch a movie sequence.

        Are you kidding? I watched he whole scene thinking about her being murdered!

        I thought it was really good.

      • Count Potato

        Well, it was already established she was Polanski’s gf.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Huh, I just watched Once Upon a Time in Hollywood about thirty minutes ago. I figured he was just filling in the blanks on their dumpster diving.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Oh, and it’s a great fucking movie, tied with Reservoir Dogs for me.

      • Tundra

        My last flight I watched Ford vs. Ferrari on the way out and Once Upon a Time in Hollywood on the way back.

        Both a couple of the best movies I’ve seen in a long time.

      • blackjack

        That’s a pair of good movies from an era with very few.

    • rhywun

      Eeew!

  20. Sean

    Grocery store salad usually goes bad before the best before date. As does the Giant in store meh brand salsa.

    At least for me that’s how it ends up.

    • Count Potato

      I finished some salsa I made about two weeks ago. Made correctly, it’s pretty inhospitable to bacteria.

  21. Tulip

    Flax seed, b, then a. Other stuff is case by case. Anything smells off, out it goes well before the date. I’ve had food poisoning and it was awful, so I tend to toss. But, flax seeds in AZ, I’d eat it.

  22. Tulip

    Since I don’t have to work tomorrow, I’m considering a midweek martini.

    • DEG

      I hung out at the local brewpub tonight since I’m off tomorrow.

      I approve of a midweek martini.

    • Sean

      I’m on a generous poured gin and diet tonic.

      • rhywun

        They make diet tonic?

        ?!

      • Sean

        White Rock.

      • rhywun

        ?‍♂️ Never heard of that but I’m on the hunt for something diet that makes a tolerable cocktail. And I love a gin & tonic.

      • Sean

        0 sugars.

        Recommended.

      • pistoffnick

        And the quinine reduces your chances of contracting malaria.

        *That’s what I tell myself*

      • pistoffnick

        No mosquitoes for the next 6 months, but you can’t be too careful.

      • dbleagle

        And the Vitamin C from the lime juice protects you from scurvy.

        A G&T is a health drink!

      • MikeS

        Moscow Mule with diet Ginger Beer?

      • rhywun

        Huh, I actually have some diet ginger beer.

      • MikeS

        Good thing I’m back to help you in your alcohol adventures. ?

        Still a rye fan?

      • C. Anacreon

        I was in store today and a woman came in asking if her order was ready. She said it was under the name “Cironi”, which she pronounced ‘Sih-roe-nee’.

        I was so tempted to ask out loud if the first name was “Rye”. I’m glad I didn’t, even though we live in the San Francisco area. She seemed like an old crab who wouldn’t have thought it was funny.

        By the way, crab is another popular food treat here in the San Francisco area.

      • rhywun

        Been on a vodka kick lately. I have a bunch of rye that I haven’t touched in a couple months.

      • blackjack

        We have a guy at work named Charles Nelson. I have to resist the urge to print up a “Riley” sticker and add it after his door tag.

      • MikeS

        One of these days I’m gonna come to NYC and we are gonna get rye drunk and go out on the streets without masks and get thrown in jail.

        It. Will. Be. Epic.

      • Tulip

        Feel free to visit the DC area. Bring Solveig gin.

      • MikeS

        I do want to visit DC again. When I do, I will certainly bring you a taste of home.

        …but it may be a while…

    • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

      Put a poppy in it and drink it in remembrance! Or go whole hog and pour yourself a laudanum martini.

    • EvilSheldon

      I picked up a bottle of French Absinthe and a fifth of Knob Creek Rye on Monday. I’m thinking about a Sazerac.

  23. DEG

    It depends on the item and its condition.

    My sense of smell is shitty, so for most foods a smell test doesn’t work.

  24. Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

    I have no comment on the presence of Flax seed in your kitchen. I swear I have not been to Arizona in years.

  25. LCDR_Fish

    Brief follow-up to my China discussion at the end of last post – a few more thoughts I’d had on my mental list and forgot.

    Like germany in the 30s, China has a *massive* chip on their shoulder. It’s not even a concrete thing like “the loss of wwI” or “Treaty of Versailles”, etc, but rather an amalgam of historic complaints dating back long before the opium wars (now coming up on 200 yrs ago?). The Middle Kingdom and all that – never mind that half of their great discoveries were a series of rediscoveries after they trashed something for bringing disharmony to the rule of heaven.

    Advchina repeatedly brings up (almost to the point of ad nauseam – although since nobody else I follow mentions it much, I can’t fault them) the ludicrous accusations from the chinese government that various statements or actions – such as a map of airline routes that includes “taiwan” or references in a movie or tv show – “Hurt the feelings of the Chinese people”.

    • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

      I do not understand the various concepts of face in the far east. A friend of mine is married to a Japanese woman, and she has frequent reactions to things that I cannot parse. In one case she was going to quit her job because she had not been paid, but had not actually asked her manager about her paycheck, and seemed shocked and offended when I suggested that as a step short of quitting.

    • pistoffnick

      My current employer is owned by a Chinese company, that is owned by a Chinese company, that is owned by the Chinese government.

      I wish I could complain, but I really can’t (shouldn’t).

  26. straffinrun
    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I might pay to see that.

      • straffinrun

        At a safe social distance, right?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      As long as it humiliates the FBI director I’m all for it.

  27. kinnath

    How stuff goes bad.

    Degradation. Nutritional value declines over time; generally can’t hurt you.

    Oxidation (goes stale). Tastes bad; smells bad; generally can’t hurt you.

    Spoilage organisms. The organisms themselves can make you sick/dead or the organisms can produce toxins that make you sick/dead. This is the only thing I worry about.

    I am brewing with two-year-old grain. It’s stored in dry, air-tight containers and kept at cellar temperatures. Degradation of amylase (the enzyme that converts starch to sugar) can become a problem at this age. But color, flavor, and aroma are pretty much unchanged.

    Properly stored, seeds should pretty much be OK for a couple of years past the expiration date.

    • Count Potato

      “Oxidation (goes stale). Tastes bad; smells bad; generally can’t hurt you”

      Oxidized fats are bad for you.

  28. blackjack

    I have no idea what flaxseed does with food. I assume it’s specifically to take down airplane food. But, whatever it does, it’ll do it better before the date goes by. Life’s too short to wonder about your food. I always verify the ingredients I’m going to use before I go to the store to buy the rest of them. It works for me.

    • rhywun

      Hell to the no.

  29. SP

    This is a very useful discussion. I now have a list of homes in which it is not safe to dine.

    • kinnath

      Glad to clear things up for you.

    • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

      I throw out milk that has been opened and in the fridge more than a few days, even if it smells normal. I once threw away a fresh duck I ordered from Dartagnan because it had a slight smell when I opened it (that really hurt by the way). My vegan cooking skills are nonexistant, although I would be willing to try, but you won’t get spoiled food here

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      I thought I would’ve scared you off with the trash can lid plates. Little did I know it would be the rancid flaxseed to do you in.

    • pistoffnick

      SP, the whole point of French cuisine was to hide the taste and smell of spoiled food. What do you have against French cooking?

      • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

        That is more true of the spicier cuisines than of French cuisine. Cream and wine sauces don’t hide much.

      • kinnath

        That was the driver for the spice trade.

        French cooking, not so much from what I remember.

      • pistoffnick

        But the spices were more expensive than the meat!

      • C. Anacreon

        Wasn’t salt the main spice transported by the Spice Trade?

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        Salt was always available for cultures near the sea or who traded with those near the sea.

        My understanding was that pepper was on of the main trade items.

        Info from public schools of the 60’s so who knows if I’m right.

      • Count Potato

        It still is.

      • C. Anacreon

        Regarding its historical value, Roman soldiers were frequently paid in salt, a practice that led to the word “salary” and the phrase “worth his salt.”

      • Tulip

        There’s a great book by Mark Mural sky called “Salt: a World History” that covers the salt trade. It wasn’t the goal.of the spice road since so many places mined or dried it from sea water. Fascinating book. He has others like “Cod” that are also great. He’s up there w Mary Roach as one one of my favorite non-fiction authors.

      • Tulip

        It’s Mark Kurlansky. WTF autocorrect?

      • Count Potato

        In hispanic and Southern European cuisine many of the herbs and spices prevent spoilage. Thyme and oregano are anti-bacterial (thymol used to be the active ingredient in Lysol, and still used in mouthwash).

  30. hayeksplosives

    I’d say for the drier food items, the “expiration” date is really a “best by” date. Maybe it’s a little faded after that, but still OK.

    Not so with high acid canned goods (tomato) or with nuts or shortening (nut oils and other fats go rancid).

    Dairy I don’t risk either, but I keep dried milk as a staple in the pantry so I will have milk in a pinch and I’m never tempted to use questionable dairy.

    • Count Potato

      High acid is less likely to go bad.

    • Tulip

      I also keep powdered milk on hand (I don’t drink milk) for baking recipes. Also powdered buttermilk for baking. So much less waste.

      • Count Potato

        I freeze buttermilk. I never tried dried. Is there a big difference?

      • Tulip

        I don’t drink it, but I don’t notice a difference in baked goods. I love it because I make my own recipes and I love intense flavors, so I often add the buttermilk powder then use another liquid instead of water – like coffee or orange juice, or whatever. Or half a half water and the flavored liquid. I rate my recipes by how fast they disappear rather than what people say, so I think they are successful.

    • Tulip

      I mentioned this below, but lard keeps really well. Like six months in the fridge and A couple years in the freezer.

      • C. Anacreon

        How long in a larder?

      • Tulip

        A month, I think, if unopened

      • pan fried wylie

        Counterintuitive.

      • pistoffnick

        I have bacon fat in the fridge from last years deer camp. It’s still good.

        It adds a nice flavor to fried cabbage.

      • Brochettaward

        What is the point of eating cabbage fried? Like, cabbage itself is nasty as shit, but at least you can say you are eating some kind of vegetable. Frying it in bacon fat defeats the purpose of even that.

      • Tulip

        Cabbage is delicious. Especially fried, olive oil, bacon fat or duck fat. I love cabbage.

      • Brochettaward

        Ok, Nicole.

      • pistoffnick

        It’s tasty. I like Napa cabbage and bok choy and even American cabbage with my morning eggs.

      • pistoffnick

        “That’s like your opinion, man”

  31. db

    e) Offer to take the offending flax seeds of the owner’s hands for pennies on the dollar and then re-sell at a profit.

    • pan fried wylie

      Hand-raised, Artisanal A la Carte Flax Seeds, $4.20/ea.

      While supplies last!

    • Tundra

      ^^

    • Don escaped Two Corinthians

      Alex Chilton recorded his first album across the lagoon, maybe a mile or so as the crow flies from where I sit.

      • pistoffnick

        Knew what it was even before I clicked.

      • Tundra

        I fucking well hope so, nick!

      • rhywun

        #metoo

        I didn’t know who Alex Chilton was for about 15 years after I first heard that song.

      • egould310

        My wife and I were given a very personal, nice, impromptu tour of Ardent Studios about six weeks ago. We got to hang out in Studio A. It was a very special Sunday afternoon.

      • Don escaped Two Corinthians

        looks like 4000 feet on google maps

        Alex worked there as well, of course.

        your beer money’s no good here if know you’re in town

      • Tundra

        Damn. Lucky man.

      • Tundra

        “Hangin’ down in Memphis all the while”

      • MikeS

        Is he the guy who wrote all the vehicle repair books?

  32. dorvinion

    Really only worry about it for meat, dairy, and some types of cheese.

    For breads and other things that grow stale I don’t worry about sickness or anything. Just can’t abide the off putting taste and texture.

    What concerns me more is cooked food left out for three or four hours or more. A rather common thing at my family’s large dinners.

  33. Brochettaward

    When the revolution starts, people aren’t going to be concerning themselves with expiration dates. Like, that chocolate bar expired three months ago! It’s the apocalypse, no one cares.

    • pistoffnick

      Ammo don’t expire.

      I got some of my Grandpa’s Korean war era ammo that still shoots fine.

      I’ll take that chocolate bar, thank yee.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        I was in the local gun shop here in western Montana and asked the guy about the price of .223. He laughed. No .223 available for any price. Asked about 9mm and he laughed again.

      • Count Potato

        Yikes!

      • LCDR_Fish

        fenixammo.com has still been putting out batches. But it helps to sign up for email notifications because it runs out so fast. My buddy scored some last week.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Oh yeah…apparently lack of “small primers” is one of the biggest issues for handgun ammo manufacture right now – following fenix ammo on twitter has been pretty informative.

      • EvilSheldon

        All of the primer manufacturers also manufacture ammo, and that’s where the primers are going.

  34. leon

    So Allegedly the SCOTUS looks to uphold Obamacare. I suspected Roberts would just ignore everything he wrote last time, but I thought there were enough votes to call his bluff. But i’m interested to see the opinion.

    • Tundra

      Oh my.

  35. Tulip

    I usually freeze flour (especially whole wheat) for 48 hours when I buy more than 5 lbs (more than the little 1-2? Lb bag of whole wheat). That makes sure you don’t find weevils (they come from the factory). However, I usually use it fast enough that it’s not a problem anyway.

    • Count Potato

      I keep whole wheat flour in the freezer so it doesn’t go rancid. Never thought about weevils. Even white flour is full of thrips.

    • pan fried wylie

      they come from the factory

      No. Shit.

  36. pistoffnick

    Honey (bee puke) is one of the few foods that never spoils.

    Fourscore is a prepper before his time.

    • Tulip

      Lard also holds up incredibly well

    • Urthona

      Honey doesn’t spoil if it’s sealed up. Otherwise it eventually will.

      I have noticed also it gets slower and slower with age until it’s practically hard.

      • pistoffnick

        “…slower with age until it’s practically hard.”
        I mean, as I get older, that’s normal.

        As long as it still gives you (and her) satisfaction.

  37. Tundra

    Since we are doing this.

    Seed To a Tree

    Been binging on these guys lately. Not sure why.

    • Mad Scientist
    • straffinrun

      I saw them live at [place] in [year]. How cool am I?

    • PudPaisley

      I always dismissed those guys because the song No Rain annoyed the hell out of me.

      Then a friend played the album Soup for me one night on his kick ass stereo system. That album is awesome. Been a fan since.

      • MikeS

        Ditto, without the extra exposure. It’s early days, but that fucking Tundra may have added another band to my “listen to more of” list.

      • pistoffnick

        I think Tundra should change his handle to “that fuckin’ Tundra”

      • That fuckin' Tundra

        I tried, but it didn’t work!

      • Tundra

        Pud!

        How’s things, brother?

        Soup is stellar, but this is my favorite of theirs. Nothing but great memories!

      • PudPaisley

        Doin’ good. A couple week push left then work slows down. Bored as shit with no live music. Hoping to do a few trips this winter, maybe a Civil War battlefield trip with my brother. Shiloh is on the list, since Memphis and Nashville are close.

        I really wanted to do Honey Harvest this year, but just couldn’t pull it off at the last minute. Had my only two 3 day weekends sandwiched around that weekend and couldn’t pull it off with work.

        How you doing? If things ever open up again we’ll have to hit a show in the cities.

      • Tundra

        Damn straight!

        Although a show in the Cities may be a long shot with Governor Cunte-Head.

        Things are good here, nevertheless!

      • pistoffnick

        Gov Waltz of Minnesnowda: The Covid virus is especially active after 10:00pm. If you are playing pool, or playing darts, or sitting at the bar; you are especially vulnerable to it’s sway.This is science, You should respect my authoritah and just stay home!

      • MikeS

        Don’t worry, my Minnesoda friends; it’s not your fault! It’s those damn Dakotans!

        “I want to be clear: I’m not blaming other governors or blaming others states,” Walz said. “I am saying, they have made choices that have increased spread to a certain degree. When people go over there, they are going to get infected and bring it back home.”

        Well, and of course, TRUMP!!11!!!

        “Conscious choices were made and they had an impact,” Walz said. “This nation, no matter how you parse this, had a very disconcerted and very disoriented national strategy — if you could even call it that — and it has led to more deaths than were necessary, more infections than were necessary, and a hodgepodge of state programs. (…) That didn’t need to be that way.”

      • MikeS

        “I think our expectation would be that North Dakota and South Dakota would be good neighbors, as well, following those same kinds of guidelines: masking, washing hands,” Flanagan said. “We are all very closely together in this. (…) (W)e just are looking for a stronger partnership, making sure all the folks in the states that we’re responsible for are taking this seriously and are doing what they need to do to stop the spread.”

      • MikeS

        “Stronger Partnership” = “do what the all-important Minnesodans tells you to do”

      • Chipwooder

        I hated them for the same reason. I’ve had other people tell me the same thing about their other album but I’ve never heard it.

  38. egould310

    And finally, out of Indianapolis from back in the day Datura Seeds https://youtu.be/VBmHB414uYw

    Yet another great band built by Paul Mahern (Zero Boys, Dandelion Abortion, United States 3). With Vess Ruhtenberg (JOT, Zero Boys) and I think the drummer from JOT, as well. Good band.

    • Tundra

      Great avatar, BTW.

      Probably should be permanent.

  39. The Bearded Hobbit

    I got take-out at Taco Bell back in the 70’s when it was still good. i ordered milk and, when I opened it up, I said to myself, “Oh, it’s frozen, it has ice chunks”. They weren’t ice chunks.

    • KSuellington

      You drink milk with Taco Bell tacos?

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        I did in college. I’ve always tried to avoid soda pop.

        TB wasn’t always horrible. Loved their enchiritos, bell burgers and pintos with cheese.

      • straffinrun

        TB must’ve changed over the years. Loved their Taco Bowl back in 80’s. Tried it for the first time in decades a few months ago. Disgusting. Or maybe I’ve changed. ?‍♂️

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        They were decent choke ‘n puke back in the day. Haven’t tried them in probably 20 years.

        Long time ago (probably 25 years or so) I thought to bring them for grub for our weekly poker game. I ordered 50 tacos and started grabbing the taco sauce. The manager threw a fit that I was taking so many packets. I said that I usually used two packets per taco. His reply was that one packet was enough for two. I don’t think that I’ve been back since that time

      • Brochettaward

        They probably already thought you were an asshole for ordering 50 tacos to begin with.

        You can tell that you are privileged because you never had the joy of working fast food and dealing with massive orders.

      • MikeS

        Many moons ago, when my friends and I would get all drunk on Sundays watching NFL, we’d call the local McDs ahead of time and say we needed 50 McNuggets. They were super happy to get the heads up and usually threw in an extra dozen or so.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        On another occasion we ordered 100 taquitos* to go. The normal price was $0.49 each. The manager had to call around for pricing on that large order. The result? They charged me $49. So much for bulk pricing.

        *rolled tacos, also called flautas.

      • blackjack

        No. Flautas are made with flour tortillas and taquitos are made with corn. Different animals.

  40. straffinrun

    I just sneezed while wearing my mask. Feels like I’m wearing Jennifer Rubin’s panties when AP declared Biden the winner.

    • MikeS

      Why do you hate us?

      • straffinrun

        Would Max Boot’s panties have worked better?

      • MikeS

        Max Toot

      • straffinrun

        Max Toot and Jennifer Queefin would make a nice couple.

      • Count Potato

        That’s the best argument for eugenics I ever heard.

    • Caput Lupinum

      That image doesn’t help the 酒 go down, but momma didn’t raise no quitter. Daddy may have raised a drunk though, but the Irish is on his side.

    • db

      tHAT IS dELIGHTFUL

  41. The Bearded Hobbit

    Dairy or poultry or fish have to pass the sniff test regardless of the “expire date”.

    Bread and cheese that gets moldy gets tossed.

    Salad and fresh veggies are pretty obvious.

    Water has an expiration date? How does that work?

    • pistoffnick

      Mold is a flavoring agent in my cheese.

    • Ownbestenemy

      You can scrape off mold from cheese. Bread is different of course.

    • pan fried wylie

      Water has an expiration date? How does that work?

      It dries out, dipshit.

    • one true athena

      I think it absorbs from the plastic as the plastic starts degrading. But afaik that’s just for taste, not actual toxicity.

  42. Caput Lupinum

    Am I the only one curious about the recipe that SP was looking to try?

    I checked my flaxseed, still have two months to go before I reach the expiration date, but I can’t remember why I bought it on the first place and I’d love a good recipe to use it on.

    • rhywun

      I just tossed two expired jars of coriander and fennel seed that I have no idea why I had. I’m sure they were probably still good, but… no idea what to do with them.

      • Caput Lupinum

        Oh, I don’t want to go through my spice rack. The only thing I know for certain is good is the paprika because I use so much of it.

        Which reminds me that I owe a recipe for gulyás, I should get on that.

      • pistoffnick

        Fucking A, you do!

      • pistoffnick

        *taps watch*

      • Caput Lupinum

        I should probably do a recipe for parikash and pörkölt as well, for the trifecta of Hungary’s national dishes. I should also probably submit it as an article. I also shouldn’t run Pie’s gave in it when I wright the article, but I will. Should definitely not be drunk, so this is a problem for future me.

      • Tulip

        Ooh, please do an article!

      • Caput Lupinum

        Well if you’re going to twist my arm… I also need to bake soon. I could submit my mother’s side of the family recipes for Welsh cookies and boiled cake. The boiled cake tastes much better than it sounds, I promise. Pop pop would be cross if I didn’t make them this year. I’m not sold on the existence of an afterlife, but I don’t want to take the chance of him beating my ass when I die for not making his holiday favorites just because he’s gone.

      • Tulip

        Oh, yes please!

      • pistoffnick

        As I’ve said before, I’ll try anything once.*
        The things I like,
        I’ll try them twice.

        *once, so far: sea cucumbers, snails (tasty, but the texture of the foot was bad), fish eyeballs (reserved for the guest of honor in China, again texture and fluid squish raised important negations), raisins (why would you do that to a perfectly good grape? and they masquerade as chocolate chips)

      • Caput Lupinum

        Raisins? You’re not going to like the Welsh cookies and boiled cake then. You could leave them out without messing anything up too much though. Just don’t mention it to my grandfather’s ghost.

      • MikeS

        Dude. When in doubt, smoke it.

      • Count Potato

        Coriander seeds are great for besan.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        Supposedly spices are only good for about a year, max. After that time they tend to lose their flavor. We used to buy large jars of spices at COSTCO but threw them out after several years. We just buy the little jars at the store, now.

      • Urthona

        This is just a myth started by Big Spice to sell more spice to suckers.

      • MikeS

        Anise suckers!

      • Count Potato

        It makes a huge difference if they are whole or ground. Whole nutmeg lasts years.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        I think that you are exactly right. See: coffee.

      • Caput Lupinum

        Depends on the spice. Paprika turns into sawdust after three months or so. Generally whole spices last longer, preground go bad pretty quickly.

  43. straffinrun

    Sweep the leg. You got a problem with that?

    https://ibb.co/L0QvdS2

    • Count Potato

      I have no idea what that is?

      • straffinrun

        It’s a warning poster on the platform. Evidently, you shouldn’t get drunk, put your tie around your head and get leg swept onto the tracks by a psychopathic housewife. *i may have semi doxxed myself in the reflection*

      • blackjack

        Now, you’re going on AOC’s list. I want to volunteer to be added to it. Sounds kinda cool.

    • blackjack

      That Macchio guy is trying to do the same as Tarantino, but he’s failing. You can’t film it in NM or wherever and get the same effect. Quentin put all kinds of stuff right back where it was when we were kids. Not pretend Canada is a good stand in.

      • straffinrun

        Misthread or throwback comment?

      • blackjack

        Sweep the leg, you got a problem with that?

  44. pan fried wylie

    The mold you see on cheese is the fruiting body. The mycelium has colonized well beyond that. Most of it is nontoxic.

    Shrug. If it doesn’t affect the flavor, and it’s non-toxic, then it’s all in your head.

    • Count Potato

      I thought was fungus that did that, not mold. I should do some research.

      • pan fried wylie

        Mold is fungus. That green shit is tiny tiny tiny mushrooms.

    • MikeS

      Well, the “can” part of “canola” means “Canada”, which is problematic…

      • Gender Traitor

        Even more problematic than “rapeseed.”

  45. Lady Z

    b), but I’d grind it first and then smell test for rancidity. It’s probably fine.

    For future reference, seeds freeze quite well and can be kept well past the expiry date. I keep all nuts (except in shell), seeds, and flours in the freezer and they last pretty much indefinitely.

  46. hayeksplosives

    All this talk of Hungarian dishes by Captain Luput has me thinking of a good old Georgian dish I make now and then: Chakhokhbili.

    Oh, yes kids. Fall/winter is here enough for the cravings of warm spicy stews and sauces that hear you up from the inside..:

    • straffinrun

      The problem with it is that you’re Hungarian an hour later.

      • hayeksplosives

        <>

      • straffinrun

        I fully admit that was terrible. It would work in AnDadistan.

      • Caput Lupinum

        I giggled. I am a dad, though, so I’m particularly vulnerable to puns.

      • MikeS

        +1

      • straffinrun

        Never made a man giggle before.

      • Caput Lupinum

        I’m drunk on sake and sochu, it’s not hard to get a giggle out of me right now.

      • LemonGrenade

        lol. good one.

    • Caput Lupinum

      Oh, I’ve been promoted to captain? Nice.

      I did make parikash on Sunday, and as far as spicy stews go it satisfied my Indian girlfriend’s curry craving, so that’s a win in my book.

      • pistoffnick

        “…satisfied my Indian girlfriend…”
        You have my attention. Go on…

      • Caput Lupinum

        She’s Indian in both from the subcontinent of India and indigenous to the Americas meanings of the term. Ironically, her indigenous bit comes from the Arawak tribe, the people that Columbus mistook for Indians in the first place. Despite being of a decidedly non-white heritage, an English teacher, and going to not one but two ivy league colleges where she majored in education and Afro-Caribbean history, and growing up in NYC, I managed to convince her to date me with my ability to recite Hayek quotes from memory; she’s my mythical libertarian minority woman, and you can’t have her.

      • Brochettaward

        This is worse than the kid who always talks about his Canadian girlfriend when being mocked.

      • Caput Lupinum

        Nonsense, DEG has met her, she’s real. If I was going to make something up it would be at least somewhat plausible.

      • pan fried wylie

        Except, DEG is all-of-ours imaginary NH boyfriend, so…

      • Tulip

        Yeah, DEG not appearing on Zoom let’s me imagine him however I want.

      • Tulip

        Wait, did I say that out loud?

      • Caput Lupinum

        let’s me imagine him however I want.

        I’m somewhere around 5’10” and he’s a bit taller than me, so probably at least 6′, dirty blonde hair that was kept a bit longer than a high ‘n tight but who knows with the quarantine how it looks now, average build, aquiline nose, pale but not pallid complexion, average build; I’ll stop there to preserve the fantasy.

      • pan fried wylie

        But who knows with the quarantine how it looks now

        Apply a standard apocalypse filter: smudges on the faces, some fresh scars, hair scruffier and splitends, clothes a bit threadbare, lost a few lbs and a couple fingers, maybe an eye.

      • pistoffnick

        “…my ability to recite Hayek quotes from memory…”

        *drops panties*

        Go on!

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Now I know you’re a liar.

  47. Ownbestenemy

    Meats are the only thing that I will be extra careful on.

    • MikeS

      * insert “that’s what she said” gif *

  48. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Yo, Bobby, lick my fookin’ balls you mook:

    “We need someone to lead us through in a kind of father figure way or mother figure way,” the Goodfellas actor said “To bring us through and show that they love us, care about us, and want our best. They are looking out for us. It’s the total opposite with someone like him. It confounds me how he ever got to be elected. He did. Crazy things happen. That’s what we need in a leader. In any leader. That’s what we were going to get with Joe Biden and Kamala”

    Holy hell, now I understand why people burned their Nikes.

    • Brochettaward

      I mean, I get called a Trumpster by some here, but Trump is just a fuck you to people I don’t like.

      I can’t imagine actually looking to a politician to serve as some sort of father figure to me.

      • Tulip

        Yeah, I had a father, and he wasn’t Joe Biden or Trump. I don’t need a father figure and it creeps me out that so many want one.

      • db

        +1000

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        One of the worst things about the modern age is knowing what celebrities think, most of them seem to be as dumb as dirt and as vicious as hell.

      • MikeS

        Yep. The Court Jesters are being confused with the Royal Counsel

      • Gustave Lytton

        Glynis Johns yet lives!

      • LemonGrenade

        That’s what I think is creepiest about the entire year. How many people *demand* the government tell them what to do. It makes me dislike people.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        People do better when they realize the government is their drunken and abusive stepfather that’s hiding behind the half closed door with a belt.

    • Chipwooder

      The guy Joe Biden is actually a father to turned out to be a meth and crack addict who boned his dead brother’s widow and father a kid he refuses to pay for with a stripper. I’m sticking with my actual dad, thankyouverymuch

      • Brochettaward

        Don’t forget the pedophilia even if the media would like you to.

      • Brochettaward

        I have several captives in my basement and even I look down on the pedos.

  49. Tulip

    Totally OT, but one of my nephews is completely in COVID panic. He’s in his late 20s, but he’s not going home for Thanksgiving, or Christmas unless the pandemic is over. He orders all his groceries etc. He only goes into the office when he has to and complains about the precautions. What I find interesting is that he was always a very cautious child. He was never the kid to jump off the chair onto a beanbag, let alone try to jump off the garage. His sister, 18 months younger absolutely tried. She was fearless as a little kid, but he never was. I find it interesting that he is so worried, and she doesn’t seem to care.

    • Brochettaward

      You need to Zoom chat him and tell him that he’s a fucking pussy who needs to man up.

      • Tundra

        I hate to admit it, but he’s right.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        If he’s in good health y’all are absolutely right. Barring tuberculosis or something tell him to go to Publix or regional equivalent, buy a fucking baked turkey and jam it in a cooler, and get his ass home.

      • Tulip

        His mother has tried. Again, I find it interesting that he has always been afraid to try new things, to try anything even slightly scary. I’ve always thought he was on the autism spectrum, though I’ve never said it to my sister.

      • Chafed

        The man with the ax is right.

    • pan fried wylie

      Bullshit. He’s found a way to masturbate 20hrs a day and isn’t letting anyone ruin it with this family get-together nonsense.

    • LemonGrenade

      I’ve gently tried to give some of my coworkers perspective on this whole thing a few times, but always run into the “but cases!” I’ll give those I know who are elderly and have severe health conditions a pass, but hearing someone who just turned 30 hasn’t left the apartment for seven months and has been ordering groceries the entire time because they ‘can’t leave until the pandemic is over’ makes me roll my eyes. (Good thing I work remote and never turn the camera on!)

    • Gustave Lytton

      I, for one, am continuing to enjoy using covid as an excuse to avoid unwanted interactions, personal or professional.

  50. Festus' Mustache Needs To Calm His Tits

    Still catching up on posts and comments but I will aver that the snow blower is the single greatest invention of the 20th Century, talk about your time-saving contraptions all you like! Washers and dryers? Pish-posh. Womans’ work. Any tool that takes a shovel out of anybody’s hand is a God send. Girls can run them too! j/k

    • pistoffnick

      9 horsepower or get the fuck out.

      • pistoffnick

        (of Minnesnowda)

      • Festus' Mustache Needs To Calm His Tits

        Pussy

    • Caput Lupinum

      Girls can run them too!

      Pops finally caved and got a snowblower after his first off three rotator cuff surgeries, despite the fact that he made me and my older sister do all of the snow shoveling. One day my sister decided to use the snowblower instead of the shovel, since dad worked nights and he wouldn’t know. It needed gas though, and she had no idea what the difference between two and four stroke engines was, or is for that matter she still doesn’t know, and put the wrong gas in the snowblower and seized the engine. Dad blamed me for breaking his snowblower, because I got blamed for everything. Granted I was responsible for about 99% of the shenanigans that took place, but still. I was never allowed to look at the snowblower ever again. She finally admitted to it last year, when we’re both in our thirties.

      There wasn’t a point to any of that, but I’m drunk and wanted to share. How’s things Festus?

      • pan fried wylie

        I was imagining the snow would just melt from the sexiness. You ruined the fantasy.

      • Caput Lupinum

        You ruined the fantasy.

        That’s my secret superpower.

      • db

        1. That is hot as hell
        2. You break enough dishes, they stop asking you to wash them

      • Festus' Mustache Needs To Calm His Tits

        Just fine! Thanks for asking! Going out to fuck with the blower and there is still a bunch of snow that needs to be blown.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Leaf blower.

      But we don’t get snow snow here.

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      ATV with a snow blade on the front. I can clear the yard and driveway in about 15 minutes. Bonus that I can take it for rides on the trails in the forest during the summer!

      Try that with a snow blower!

      (Really, though, I’ve been advised that a snowblower gets jammed due to our gravel.)

    • Count Potato

      Has anyone noticed leaf blowers are getting fucking louder?

      • pan fried wylie

        He vehemently demanded of a passing cloud.

    • Festus' Mustache Needs To Calm His Tits

      Spoke too soon. Just burned a belt. LOL! I’ve a spare. Hope that it fits. Everything is coming up Festus!

    • Brochettaward

      I shovel snow with my axe.

      • Brochettaward

        The neighbors don’t speak to me much and keep their distance from my home. All positives.

      • Festus' Mustache Needs To Calm His Tits

        That’s what the snowbanks are for.

  51. Threedoor

    Who has Flax anything in their pantry? That used for making clothing isn’t it?

    Dosnt sound edible from the get go.

    • Brochettaward

      Vegans. Closeted commies. We have several here as you can see from the above.

    • hayeksplosives

      It’s a good source of fiber and some of the “good” fats.

    • Gustave Lytton

      *raises hand*

      Wifey mixes it into morning smoothies.

    • Festus' Mustache Needs To Calm His Tits

      THEY changed rapeseed to canola. Flax could be damn anything by now.

    • KSuellington

      I’m with Threedoor. Pretty sure you make clothes out of it, or maybe art projects, so the expiration date should not matter much.

  52. grrizzly

    I might still eat it if the expiration day was yesterday. But not earlier than that.

  53. PieInTheSky

    Depends on the product but as it rarely happens I mostly throw it away.

    • Festus' Mustache Needs To Calm His Tits

      Yup. Huge food waster here.

  54. straffinrun

    This whole comment section: “Qantas never crashed.”

  55. KSuellington

    SW linked this Robert DeNiro quote above.
    “We need someone to lead us through in a kind of father figure way or mother figure way,” the Goodfellas actor said “To bring us through and show that they love us, care about us, and want our best. They are looking out for us.”

    Wow, this quote really gets to some very deep level of love for Big Brother that is so alien to me. Even from a very young age, I couldn’t imagine uttering anything like that. At middle age saying so is unfathomable. Unfortunately he is right in that a growing number do consider government the chief mommy and daddy.

    • straffinrun

      A parent with the right to execute you. No thanks.

      • Gustave Lytton

        “I brought you into this world. I can take you out of it.”

    • Ownbestenemy

      That is disgusting and yes, there is plenty out there that want mommy and daddy to make it all better.

    • KSuellington

      I really like the metaphor of the drunken stepdad with a belt behind a half closed door to describe government. I’m stealing that to use the next time I’m trying to get someone to understand the level of trust that should be placed in government.

      • straffinrun

        The drunken step dad still has to live among the people he abuses, so that would work for local politics. Federal level and it’s more like the drone operators in Nevada or Florida vaporizing goat herders in Kandahar.

    • hayeksplosives

      I know irresponsible “single moms” turn to Sugar Daddy government for financial support and to exercise violence on her behalf, but to hear it coming from a man? A man older than 17?

      That’s very off-putting.

    • Festus' Mustache Needs To Calm His Tits

      That is terrifying. Not being hyperbolic.

    • hayeksplosives

      So private restaurants can refuse customers on any basis, including race, after all?

      • straffinrun

        The point of the speech was to point out how incestuous these tech companies have been with the state since they were created. If you’re looking for real fascism, this is where you could start.

      • hayeksplosives

        They’ll hide behind the private label as an excuse to censor snd ban. Exactly what the state needs them to do.

      • straffinrun

        Bingo. Being against bullies, be it the state or one of its “private” henchmen, is something that motivates me.

  56. hayeksplosives

    Sorry, one more “Hayek shakes fist at clouds” moment tonight.

    On FB, a liberal acquaintance posted a meme of a little brown girl (presumably dot + African genes) wearing a t shirt that said

    “My Vice President looks like me.”

    Ugh. Racial identity politics, front and center. But what really grinds my gears is this relatively recent popularity of using simple speech, “looks like me”, to reduce it purely down to skin color and surface appearance. No nuance or reference to shared experience; just “she looks like me.”

    I first noticed it with Obama the Benightednessbringer. He used the “looks like me” spiel.a bunch.

    As if the child-like vocabulary and syntax renders the overt racism cute and somehow innocent and pure.

    Bullshit. If someone has to “look like” you to get your vote or your respect or your kindness, you are a racist asshole.

    • straffinrun

      Somewhere out there a kid with Down’s syndrome is praying for a president like him. TBH, that might not be a bad thing.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Ok, I laughed.

        If I ever make it to Japan, I want to go drinking with you straff.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Lol…a bunch of Benjamin Buttons are running around with glee then!

    • Tejicano

      A buddy of mine (midwest white guy), married to a Taiwanese lady, has been living in China for many years. His kids grew up there and went to an international school. His son grew up speaking English and 3 dialects of Chinese (Mandarin, his mom’s dialect, and the local dialect he grew up in).

      So his son is going to a nice university on the east coast back in the US. In one class he had been sitting behind a group of Chinese students which he realized were speaking the local dialect from where he grew up. The day he started talking with them they all but fell out of their seats – all the time thinking he was Mexican.

    • rhywun

      But remember, dividing the population into colorful pigeonholes and making them suspicious of each other is “bringing America together”.

  57. Tres Cool

    I just love having a d̶a̶y̶ night off. Third shift means Im doing laundry, and I may as well stay up late.

    • Festus' Mustache Needs To Calm His Tits

      Losing a bolt in the fresh snow is nearly as fun as learning that “wobbly legs” are caused by back stuff.

    • Festus' Mustache Needs To Calm His Tits

      I knew what it was but I needed to click. I am pathetic.

  58. Festus' Mustache Needs To Calm His Tits

    If I get the machine going I’m going to run it. Payback is a bitch asshole neighbour.

    • Festus' Mustache Needs To Calm His Tits

      Machine running but I have to warm my hands some. It’s not super cold but you need to acclimate. 10 or 15 C below will feel balmy in a month or so. Working with wrenches does not help.

  59. Trigger Hippie

    Anyone here ever have any issues signing in to the website through DuckDuckGo? That browser refuses to allow me to do so, bizzare.

    • Festus' Mustache Needs To Calm His Tits

      Funny. Ain’t that the porny one 😉

    • Festus' Mustache Needs To Calm His Tits

      Unavailable to me but I remember liking that tune.

  60. Festus' Mustache Needs To Calm His Tits

    Oh and it was the belt tensioner. Suppose I should have checked the thermostat first… FUCKING THING IS NEXT TO BRAND NEW.

  61. The Late P Brooks

    Quack quack

    Wearing a mask can help protect you, not just those around you, from coronavirus transmission, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said in new guidance Tuesday. The statement was an update to previous guidance suggesting the main benefit of mask wearing was to help prevent infected people from spreading the virus to others.
    Cloth masks act as “source control” to block virus particles exhaled by the wearer and provide “filtration for personal protection” by blocking incoming infectious droplets from others, the CDC said in its new guidance.

    The new guidance cites a number of studies showing that masks reduce the risk of transmitting or catching the virus by more than 70% in various instances. One study revealed mutual mask-use helped prevent two infected hair stylists from transmitting the virus to 67 clients who were later interviewed. Another followed infected people who spent more than 10 hours on flights without infecting other passengers when masks were used.
    In several scenarios, when officials told people to wear masks, infections and deaths fell significantly, the CDC pointed out.

    “Adopting universal masking policies can help avert future lockdowns, especially if combined with other non-pharmaceutical interventions such as social distancing, hand hygiene, and adequate ventilation,” the CDC said.

    It wears the ballgag or it gets the hose. Oh, who’s kidding whom? It gets the hose, no matter what.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      We have anecdotal evidence!

      Our vaunted scientists now use the same evidentiary standards as a political stump speech.

      • mrfamous

        I think it’s pretty clear that whatever the people in the CDC used to be, they’re currently not scientists.

  62. The Late P Brooks

    Saw a clip of Biden addressing his grateful adoring subjects, this morning. The backdrop had an official, “Office of the President Elect” logo, complete with Presidential Seal.

    Oh, what fun we’ll have!

    • Sean

      Yeah, they’re really running with that. If you tell a lie often enough…

  63. Gender Traitor

    This somewhat renews my faith in my fellow citizens.

    I have a bad feeling about the address Gauleiter DeRINO is scheduled to give late this afternoon. I fear OH may be shutting back down. Just in time for my vacation (that starts today.)

    • Sean

      My gf just got tested again, because her boss is “bat shit crazy”. Negative again.

      I hope your vacation is relaxing.

      • Gender Traitor

        Thanks – I really need it. The last couple of days at work were a bit nerve-wracking. Besides processing payroll as usual, I was covering for a co-worker who was off. This would normally be no big deal, but of course since he was gone all sorts of out-of-the-ordinary issues came up. I was pretty frazzled by the end of the day yesterday.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Contact tracing with an endemic virus is such an utter waste of time. Isolate the sick and let’s get on with it.

      • Sean

        ?

  64. The Late P Brooks

    Isolate the sick and let’s get on with it.

    Isolate Kill the sick and let’s get on with it.

    • rhywun

      Done! Except for that “get on with it” malarkey!

      /Andy Cuomo

  65. Festus' Mustache Needs To Calm His Tits

    So tired of failure. Anyone have some really easy remedial tasks for me? I promise that I’ll fuck them up with a sunny grin on my face. You can even pat me on the head and everything!

  66. Sean

    With my boycotting Fox news, it’s leaving a gap in my evening TV watching,

    I’ve decided to rewatch Chuck. I got two episodes in last night.

    Yvonne Strahovski – refer to avatar.

    • CPRM

      Never watched it, I’d say you should go with Sliders, there is world where we won, somewhere. And more interesting than the parallel worlds in Man in the High Castle.

      • Sean

        Comet TV has been playing Sliders and I’ll watch that when on.

        Chuck is worth watching, imo. Adam Baldwin FTW.

      • CPRM

        Did you watch Day Break? Adam Baldwin was great in that.

      • Sean

        I have not. I’ll keep an eye out for it.

    • Festus' Mustache Needs To Calm His Tits

      Yvonne Strahowski is the blonde dream girl of the quintet that flies through my window at night.

  67. Sean

    https://twitter.com/elaadeliahu/status/1326305681851428864

    During the celebrations in time square this weekend following the media announcement that Joe Biden will be president elect someone in the crowd tried ripping off the well known Trump supporting naked cowboys underwear

    WTF?

    • CPRM

      That dude has been there for more than 20 years, props if he’s still ripped enough to be doing it.

    • rhywun

      The “Naked Cowboy” is a well-known busker who sings in his underwear. So not naked. But he’s been there for decades.

  68. The Late P Brooks

    I’ve decided to rewatch Chuck. I got two episodes in last night.

    Yvonne Strahovski – refer to avatar.

    I binge watched that a year or two ago. I really liked it. And yes, I made Homer Simpson yummy/drooling face every time she was on screen.

    RAWR.

    • TARDis

      Bunny teeth FTW.

      I’m late, but since this post is about expiration, why not.

  69. ElspethFlashman

    Funny. I am bad on eating old cheese and leftovers in the fridge. It’s the Homer Simpson in me “It’s still good, it’s still good,” which has led me to have food poisoning several times. I think I have finally learned my lesson.

    But my general rule is : flour, baking stuff etc will not perform how it’s supposed to if it is too old; condiments – who can tell if they are bad (not including mayonnaise). Meat – no! Cheese – maybe.