Thursday Afternoon Links of Excitement

by | Nov 12, 2020 | Daily Links | 395 comments

We’re going to enjoy our last few weeks of being able to go anywhere or do anything before the fucking politicians weld us inside our house.

Fun Thing #1

Tomorrow we are taking delivery of a brand new gas range! Woohoo! We’ve been putting up with an old-style coil burner electric range since we moved into this house. The cooktop is exactly as bad as you’d imagine, and the oven is a thousand times worse, especially for a baker like me.

The new range is very similar to one we loved in a previous home (of which there have been many since we’ve been together). This range has a continuous cooktop surface, the large oval center burner perfect for our cast iron griddle, burners sized with different BTU capabilities which is fabulous for canning or long-simmering, AND…double ovens, one of which is convection! I can’t wait to bake something tomorrow afternoon!!! We’ll be taking this one with us when we move to Montana (or Wyoming) in the next few years.

Fun Thing #2

We have reservations at our very favorite restaurant in the Phoenix area for Saturday night. We haven’t been since they started locking everything down back in March. The way things are looking, this might be the last time for a while.

Fun Thing #3

We are having a visiting out of town Glib over for dinner next Friday night! I just hope the Wonder Dog doesn’t leave her hair all over the guest. HAHAHAHAHA! She surely will. You’ve been warned, Visiting Glib!

Fun Thing #4

Then, as if this weren’t enough excitement to get us through to Thanksgiving, we’ve been invited to dine with some friends the next evening. These friends also have a Great Pyr, though he’s just a pup. We suspect the real reason they invited us this time, however, is that OMWC was telling the husband (also a chemist) about our fun experiments with spherification and reverse spherification. Yes, spherified cocktails, coming right up!

Whew! What a whirlwind of fun!

What? You didn’t come here to listen to the details of my personal life? You want links instead?

Well, OK, if you insist. But I’ll be hard-pressed to find anything half as exciting as my life.

 

Man, way to harsh my own mellow. I’m going to go take a walk with Wonder Dog and try to get back to my happy-go-lucky outlook!

Hope the rest of you have a terrific day!

(Don’t forget to send in your Thanksgiving recipes: sp @ this website.)

 

Not actually Wonder Dog, but a reasonable facsimile.

About The Author

SP

SP

I've got an idea! How about we just stick to the Constitution as written and then the government can leave me the fuck alone.

395 Comments

  1. Brochettaward

    What if I told you that there was a conspiracy to keep me from Firsting? What if I said that this conspiracy, it went all the way to the very top? To higher echelons of TPTB than the ones who rigged our election? Would you take the red pill or the blue pill?

    • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

      I am a man; it is the woman’s job to take the pill! I handle my birth control the old fashioned way, by saying things like this which guarantee I will not have to worry about it.

      • ElspethFlashman

        Like, “don’t worry, babe. I’m sure your period will be here soon” ???

      • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

        No, more like saying, “Hey want to come back to my place and argue about whether Calvinism enhanced, or retarded, the developments that led to the enlightenment.” I was being self deprecating.

      • But Enough About My Wild Culinary Fantasies

        Yeah, that’ll work.

      • pan fried wylie

        He’s describing abstinence. Clearly his method wouldn’t work on you.

    • Agent Cooper

      You should just concede.

  2. leon

    From the I Guess It’s OK If a Half-Black Guy Says It Department. He added, “For millions of Americans spooked by a Black man in the White House, he promised an elixir for their racial anxiety.”

    While not ranking high among the Obama’s list of crimes, perversions and general dick-shittery, the amount that they would race bait, being the most powerful family in the world, was and remains incredibly annoying to me personally. The gal of Michelle to then, at her DNC speach, pretend like she was reaching out to people who were upset about people using “White Privilege” as a crudule to hurt the poor-non-black, topped it off.

    Kindly fuck off Obama.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      Congratulations on being first.

      • leon

        Thanks! I don’t do it for the recognition, but it does feel good.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      It’s at the top for me.

      That behavior fostered an almost uncrossable political divide in America. Obama played into it, hard, while pretending to be above it all.

      • rhywun

        And the result is SP’s last link. Proud Marxists claiming to represent “their race”. We’re going to be years if not decades overcoming this shit.

      • Homple

        We could cut that crap short if most people weren’t PC whipped into fetal position every time some race monger talks about white privilege or racism.

    • Agent Cooper

      “spooked by a Black man”

      So … no on the phrasing?

  3. leon

    BLM co-founder sends message to Biden: ‘We want something for our vote’

    LOL. Rookie mistake. In politics, you make sure payment comes first, or you just got swindled.

    • limey

      They paid upfront, through ActBlue.

    • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

      The frontline revolutionaries tend to draw their wages in lead. BLM and Antifa should be careful what they ask for.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      And you don’t do it publicly. You go behind closed doors and get something in return for hiring the principal’s family members or donate to a charity that provides a salary/speaking fees to the principal or principal’s family.

      • Mad Scientist

        You do it publicly when it’s a threat.

  4. Kwihn T. Senshel

    From the BLM article: “We want something for our vote”

    Isn’t that, like, everybody that votes? If we participate in the process, we all want something.

    Me, I want cake.

    • leon

      They all want Cake.

      • Bill Door

        Thanks for sharing that one. I’m going to listen to more of their stuff, because that was a great rendition!

      • Bill Door

        Thanks for sharing that one. I’m going to listen to more of their stuff, because that was a great rendition!

      • Bill Door

        Fashion Nugget is one of my favorite albums. That’s another gem.

      • db

        They still hang proudly

    • SDF-7

      I thought we all wanted to be left alone.

      Not that we ever seem to get to vote for that (or get it).

      • Kwihn T. Senshel

        While they’ve (somewhat) improved on this in recent years, I love classic movies’ phone convos, where – based on the pace of the person you hear – if you could hear the person on the other end of line they would be talking about like this guy.

  5. Mad Scientist

    Ahem. Ichthyosaur != dinosaur.

    • limey

      Contemporaneous to dinosaurs, but not dinosaurs themselves, I believe.

  6. Rebel Scum

    This one is for OMWC, who would love to own that if he knew it existed.

    Some shit lasts forever.

  7. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Obama says Trump used his ‘birther’ lie to give millions of white Americans ‘spooked’ by a Black president an ‘elixir for their racial anxiety’

    Fuck you Barry. Never once, not a single fucking time, did you raise a finger or open your mouth to object to the characterization of any and all political disagreements by the Republicans with your agenda as fundamentally racist in nature. The media harped on the racist Republican angle for the entirety of your tenure and you said nothing while your bitch wife actively encouraged it.

    That is why Trump got elected, that and because the establishment GOP just sat back and took that criticism because they were too chickenshit to call you out on it.

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      When Obama was elected I hoped that it would end the notion that criticism of a black politician is racist, because all presidents get criticized. Boy, was I wrong.

      • Mad Scientist

        Up until Obama was elected, I never once disagreed with any politician because we were all white, so it was all good. Then along came Obama and suddenly I had get some political opinions to disguise my racism.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I never particular cared for NPR, but I learned to hate them during Obama’s reign. Particularly Diane Rehm, who never failed to express her astonishment at how racist the Republicans were because they opposed Obama’s political objectives.

      • The Gunslinger

        I have 2 daughters that are adopted that are both black. I didn’t vote for Obama but was hopeful he would be a good president and appreciated what it meant for my daughters to see him in the White House. Unfortunately I think he did much to worsen national race relations.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Let me be clear (to borrow Barry’s favorite phrase), my objections to Obama and his wife have absolutely nothing to do with his skin color. They are completely based on their politics, lies, and loathsome moral compasses. I am sorely disappointed that the first black President was a condescending, disingenuous ass, because it was an incredible opportunity for improvements in race relations that was wholly squandered.

      • The Gunslinger

        My thoughts exactly.

    • limey

      The condescending, pseudo-intellectual mannequin which everyone dressed in their own vague, unimaginative projections of “hope” and “change”, not realizing how easily they were being bamboozled into buying the cynical narrative that would begin prying apart the country along so many lines. The lying, underachieving, smooth-talker; a perfect conduit for his speechwriters’ Goebbelsian spin on the cynical progressive agenda.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Nice

      • cyto

        He was truly the master of saying nothing. It was pretty much a caricature of a politician, and watching the media fawn over him like he was the greatest orator of all time drove me toward madness.

        My favorite among all of them was his first State of the Union address. In it, he said that the budget required us to take action. Like all families, when we don’t take in as much as we need we need to tighten our belt, but at the same time, we need to invest in the future.

        In one sentence he implied that he was going to both cut spending and increase spending. And nobody said a word. I was flabbergasted.

        The dude was in the national spotlight for 12 years, and the only tough question he ever got asked was asked by a plumber in a walk-up on the street.

      • Rebel Scum

        He was truly the master of saying nothing.

        C’mon man, banal platitudes about togetherness and wanting good things that are not bad things says it all.

      • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

        I thought the question about what enchanted him the most was pretty tough.

      • Count Potato

        The press vetted that plumber more than him.

      • DrOtto

        To be fair, anyone who followed Bush was bound to sound like a great orator. Also, did Hillary sign over the rights to the birther movement to Trump or something? I thought she started that shit.

      • pan fried wylie

        Trump won those rights fair and square along with the Presidency.

  8. Rebel Scum

    Fear Of Covid-19 Might Make Cancer Survivors Less Likely To Enroll In Clinical Trials

    And not get checked for relapse.

  9. The Late P Brooks

    First thing we do, let’s kill all the epidemiological computer modellers

    A computer model using cellphone data to map the places people frequent every day in large cities may indicate that most COVID-19 infections occur at “superspreader” sites such as full-service restaurants, gyms and cafes.

    The report, published Tuesday in the journal Nature, examined the data of 98 million Americans collected at 10 large U.S. cities, including San Francisco, for two months beginning in March. The data was then fed into an epidemiological model developed by a Stanford University-led team.

    Jure Leskovec, the Stanford computer scientist who led the study, told Stanford News that the model analyzed how people of different demographic backgrounds and neighborhoods visited establishments that are more or less crowded.

    “Based on all of this, we could predict the likelihood of new infections occurring at any given place or time,” he said.

    ——-

    Various scenarios simulated by the model, including reopening some businesses but not others, showed that opening restaurants at full capacity resulted in the largest increase in infections. Gyms were second, followed by cafes and hotels/motels. According to one scenario, if capacity was limited to 20% at all venues, new infections would be reduced by more than 80%.

    Based on how far your brain splatters when we drop you out of this helicopter, I can predict interest rates on the moon.

    • Ted S.

      A computer model using cellphone data to map the places people frequent every day in large cities may indicate that most COVID-19 infections occur at “superspreader” sites such as full-service restaurants, gyms and cafes.

      Then again, it might not.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        We must do something! This is something!

      • DEG
      • DEG

        I think that would work better on a Q link.

      • B.P.

        Infectious Disease Expert: Superspreading Happens at Places We Don’t Give a Shit About and Events We Actively Despise

    • PBRstreetgang

      Yes its definitely cafes and totally not tens of thousands of folks in the streets, shoulder-to-shoulder , screaming for hours.

    • The Other Kevin

      We should take a poll to find out how many people support the computer models.

      • Nephilium

        Local news had a helpful piece to help you chose the most effective masks. Based entirely on “computer models”…

      • The Other Kevin

        I know how to use a computer and I like playing with clay. I need to get in on this “computer modeling” cash cow.

      • pan fried wylie

        I use a PC, a camera, and a gaggle of underfed, smack addicted, eastern european hotties (they would be hot if you fed em) in my flavor of “computer modeling”.

      • Grumbletarian

        Don’t worry, I ran a model of such a poll and it came back showing that people overwhelmingly support my models.

    • SP

      No time to RTFA, but does it say how they obtained the data of 98 million Americans? I’m guessing something like Facebook location settings.

      But who knows. I guess the gov might be giving it to “scientists” who align with their goals.

      /adjusting tin foil cloche

  10. Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

    A new gas range? Why do you hate the planet? Thankfully San Francisco has voted to ban gas in new construction. That’s sure to make housing more affordable.

    • Nephilium

      Because CO2 and water are both greenhouse gases. It’s a good thing that electrical power comes out of holes in the walls.

      /gas cooking is non-negotiable for me

      • rhywun

        I had an electric range one year in my life. Holy hell, I sympathize with SP. What a POS.

      • limey

        I had (possibly still to have; still in the process of moving) a fairly decent electric range. It’s only fairly decent in comparison with every other electric range I’ve ever used. It’s still far short of cooking on gas, but I can live with it. There’s no gas in this part of the world unless you go get a bottle of propane and propane accessories.

      • pan fried wylie

        And there’s no Hank Hill in that part of the world, so…

      • dorvinion

        Old school flat coil sorts of electric ranges I will agree are absolutely atrocious

        Not all electric ranges are created equal though. We have a glass top range with the smaller coils that rapidly heat up and I’ve been more than satisfied with it.
        Controlling the heat is no problem and it cleans up real easy.

        Only real problem I have with it is your cookware needs to have perfectly flat bottoms

        An odd thing about where I live is that everyone in town has natural gas in their homes, but they all use electric ranges.

      • Count Potato

        That is odd.

    • Florida Man

      My parents new house has natural gas and gigabit internet. I’m not jealous though…

      • pan fried wylie

        “Florida Parents expire in mysterious suffocation/internet accident. Florida Son Inconsolable.”

      • pan fried wylie

        *mysterious aspyhxiation/internet accident

      • limey

        The death cert records Covid-19 as the primary cause of death.

        #thatescalatedquickly

      • Florida Man

        Lol

      • db

        *mysterious aspyhxiation/internet accident

        “A search of their recent Netflix history showed they had worked their way through through the entire filmographies of David Carradine and Robin Williams within in the last week.”

      • pan fried wylie

        Ok, so, I didn’t look any of the terms up, but I switched from suffocation to asphyxiation because I thought suffocating involved an external object (pillow/hand/belt etc), while asphyxiation just involved the inability to obtain oxygen, from atmospheric displacement or physiological problems.

        Point is, I was implying he murdered his parents using a devious combination of the natgas and gigabit internet he so envied. So they would have had to watch something that convinced them to sleep in the basement or something like that…natgas is heavier than air, right? Bomb shelter shows, something like that.

      • db

        I get it; I was just riffing. The implication being that it wasn’t *they* that ran that particular Netflix marathon, necessarily.

  11. DEG

    The fun things look good.

    The Covid-19 pandemic has halted or delayed scientific research to a great extent. In the United States, it has also resulted in a drastic decrease in enrollment in National Cancer Institute-sponsored cancer clinical trials, particularly in areas most affected by Covid-19.

    Many cancer clinical trials’ sites have temporarily paused enrollment because of several restrictions enforced by institutions to prevent the spread of the coronavirus.

    Yet, it remains unclear if cancer survivors would be willing to participate in clinical research as they did before the outbreak of the virus — particularly when Covid-19 transmission is taking place among communities.

    Fuck the fear mongers.

    Obama writes that Trump used the “birther” conspiracy theory — which falsely claimed that the first Black president was born in Kenya and therefore not a natural born US citizen and ineligible for the presidency — to offer millions of white Americans an “elixir for their racial anxiety.”

    Obama, Go fuck yourself.

    • cyto

      Funny that the original person who falsely claimed that he was born in Kenya was Obama himself.

      • cyto

        Hillary was second in.

        But it was Trump who came along much later who did the real damage…..

      • pan fried wylie

        Because then it was a WHITE. MAN. saying it. Anything he says is racist.

  12. Rebel Scum

    This Covid Cunte.

    A Stay-at-Home Advisory for Chicago will go into effect on Monday, November 16th at 6:00am.

    This advisory calls on all Chicagoans to do the following:

    – Stay home unless for essential reasons
    – Stop having guests over—including family members you do not live with
    – Avoid non-essential travel
    – Cancel traditional Thanksgiving plans

    This ought to be ignored.

    • The Other Kevin

      There goes hockey practice. /sad trombone

    • Kwihn T. Senshel

      The thing that really is starting to get to me is how all this is now becoming a tautological loop of derp:

      “You claim that this isn’t the DEDLYEST VYRUS EVAH and we shouldn’t have been locked down, but how do you explain the need for more lockdowns now, hmmm…?”

    • cyto

      But what about the Biden celebrations and BLM protests? Essential, I suppose?

    • pan fried wylie

      including family members you do not live with

      The ones you live with aren’t any safer. Kick those fuckers out if you want to live.

    • Bill Door

      “Get bent” is the only response I have for these power hungry leeches.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    No time to RTFA, but does it say how they obtained the data of 98 million Americans? I’m guessing something like Facebook location settings.

    “Anonymized” (wink wink, nudge nudge) cellphone location data.

    • Kwihn T. Senshel

      lol, like those “anonymous” surveys in the corporate world looking for unbiased feedback.

      You know, the ones that have you list your demographics, office location, number of people on your team, and how long you’ve been with the company.

  14. robc

    reverse spherification is just crushing them?

    • Mad Scientist

      Yes, but you do it barefoot.

    • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

      OMWC and SP actually invert the sphere through the 4th dimension and create a Klein bottle that eats you.

      • But Enough About My Wild Culinary Fantasies

        . . . a Klein bottle that eats you.

        Can I at least tell it where to start?

      • pan fried wylie

        it’s a Kevin Klein bottle, so no, it just eats you whole, one gulp.

      • But Enough About My Wild Culinary Fantasies

        I . . . didn’t know he had that reputation with the ladies.

      • Surly Knott

        A proper Klein bottle eats everything.

  15. The Other Kevin

    MIL COVID Update (please let me know if this is getting annoying)
    MIL is telling us she’s feeling well and things are going fine. SIL says things are not going fine. It seems the hospital staff is trying to minimize time in the room and isn’t telling MIL anything about her condition. They are still fighting to keep her oxygen levels from falling when she exerts herself. They stopped Remdesivir early because it was causing liver issues. However her heart and kidneys look good.

    I have known a few people who got COVID and recovered quickly. This is the first time I’ve known anyone with severe complications so it’s been a learning experience.

    • DEG

      Sorry. I hope she pulls through.

    • Bill Door

      Good luck to your MIL with all of this, TOK. Everyone here (at least I suppose) understand that the ‘VID isn’t anything to scoff at or be messed with. For me, I am just sick of the panic mongering that has been constantly present. Our Gov is ramping up the fear and need to “do something,” and he can go pound sand.

      I wouldn’t want my MIL to catch it, as she is immunocompromised, so I hope that you MIL recovers quickly.

      • Ted S.

        I said back around the beginning of March on another forum that perhaps this coronavirus is worse than the flu, AND perhaps we shouldn’t be panicking anyway. One of the panic-mongers responded that Italy didn’t panic, and look where it got them.

      • Bill Door

        I’m pretty sure the response from Italy is the epitome of panic. Not that the panic-mongers will relent on that. I think it is safe to say that it is worse than the flu if you have comorbidities and make Fourscore look like a young buck.

      • Bill Door

        I’m pretty sure the response from Italy is the epitome of panic. Not that the panic-mongers will relent on that. I think it is safe to say that it is worse than the flu if you have comorbidities and make Fourscore look like a young buck.

      • Florida Man

        Is double posting your version of Brooksing?

      • Bill Door

        Pretty much. ?‍♂️ It only happens when I have Monocle running, for some reason. It’ll probably happen with this response too…

    • Bill Door

      Good luck to your MIL with all of this, TOK. Everyone here (at least I suppose) understand that the ‘VID isn’t anything to scoff at or be messed with. For me, I am just sick of the panic mongering that has been constantly present. Our Gov is ramping up the fear and need to “do something,” and he can go pound sand.

      I wouldn’t want my MIL to catch it, as she is immunocompromised, so I hope that you MIL recovers quickly.

      • The Other Kevin

        Thanks. My original thoughts about COVID are being reinforced. Mainly, that it’s very dangerous to older and sicker people, but not very dangerous to anyone who is young and relatively healthy. That we keep wasting efforts on locking down everyone, and not concentrating everything we have on the people who are really at risk, is frustrating to say the least.

      • Bill Door

        Exactly this.

    • Sean

      Sorry to hear that.

    • westernsloper

      Not annoying at all. I hope and pray MIL pulls through just fine.

    • Count Potato

      Sorry, hope she gets well soon.

    • Trigger Hippie

      Good luck, bud.

    • Tundra

      Sorry, dude.

      Have they tried any other therapies besides the Remdesivir?

  16. westernsloper

    Man, way to harsh my own mellow. I’m going to go take a walk with Wonder Dog and try to get back to my happy-go-lucky outlook!

    Ya. I have been away from the news for a week and I see it still sucks. That pic of Wonder Dog made me smile though. That is a happy dog.

    • Swiss Servator

      Wonder Dog is a GOOD DOG!

  17. SDF-7

    I didn’t think Hasbro made the Easy-Bake Oven in a gas model — OMWC must be deferring those van repairs….

  18. LCDR_Fish

    FML. I think my last cable company is trying to screw me until I give up.

    Mailed in my modem/router when I canceled my service in May. Confirmed receipt.

    3 months later – August, I get billed for it.

    Call up and talk to someone who tells me I can either dispute with my bank or wait 60 days for a check. Decide to wait (bad decision in retrospect).

    60 days later – no sign of refund. Call up again. They say they’re processing it – at the time it still showed as a credit to my account which was useless.

    11/2 – no sign of refund. Call up again (it still shows as an autocredit in my account per the automated answering service). I’m told that it will be expedited for processing on 11/3 or 11/4.

    11/12 – no sign of refund. Call up again – someone says it looks like the last person forwarded it to their manager where it got stuck.

    Guess I’ll wait till next Friday to try again. Not sure what the normal process is for asking to talk to someone’s manager or if there’s any other way to fix this. BBB complaint? It’s more than $100 and less than $125.

    • Florida Man

      Drive to the location. Bring a baseball bat.

    • SDF-7

      “You don’t take the law into your own hands — you take them to court. The People’s Court!”

      Personally, I hate dealing with pencil pushers over crap like this enough that as long as they didn’t charge me *again*, I’d write it off as not worth the time and stress to keep screwing around with it.

      Yeah, yeah — companies love saps like me, I know. But I get enough crap with my day job to worry about. ;P

    • whahappan

      I’ve seen the UPS guy at the customer counter advise people to hold on to their receipt when mailing cable boxes etc. back. Apparently it’s a known scam to pretend not to have received them.

  19. grrizzly

    Three turkeys in the middle of Massachusetts Avenue in Cambridge today.

    • DEG

      That’s near Harvard Square? That’s kinda far from anywhere I can see them living.

      • grrizzly

        Yes, it’s the intersection of Mass. Ave and Mt. Auburn St. In front of the NBER.

    • Florida Man

      I saw a big flock this morning. It’s like they know thanksgiving is coming.

    • SDF-7

      Joe, Kamala and Nancy?

      • TARDis

        Those are shitbirds. Repubs are the fucking turkeys.

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      We have a group of about 20 roaming our neighborhood. Someone needs to start hunting them.

  20. LJW

    A Biden COVID-19 advisor called for a national lockdown lasting up to 6 weeks. The US had a ‘big pool of money’ to pay for any lost wages, he said.

    “We could pay for a package right now to cover all of the wages, lost wages for individual workers, for losses to small companies, to medium-sized companies or city, state, county governments,” he said. “We could do all of that. If we did that, then we could lock down for four to six weeks.”

    Well we’re screwed if this guy takes office.

    • Ted S.

      And then drugs fell out of his ass.

    • SDF-7

      I’m not broke — I still haven’t hit my credit card limit / still have checks in the book!

      • pan fried wylie

        No? Try this card. How about this one? Huh, yeah, no, turns out those were just deposit slips, heh. Hang on, lemme call somebody…

    • leon

      was the advisors face horribly burnt?

      • pan fried wylie

        his name was, completely unsuspiciously, Wormtongue McNefariouspurposes.

    • limey

      A big pool of money in the literal sense? Like Scrooge McDuck? That is the textbook progressive assumption about “wealth”, and hey, Uncle Sam is as rich as he wants to be, right? Dollars can be printed!

    • Kwihn T. Senshel

      This is the economic equivent of Bugs Bunny pulling himself out of a hole in the ground by his own ears.

      • pan fried wylie

        And that worked just fine, so what’s YOUR fucken problem. *walks off cliff suspended in middair till realizing mistake…*

      • pan fried wylie

        “AHA-AHA-ahh-huughh….”

    • Urthona

      I got so used to the economic illiteracy of the Trump administration I almost forgot Democrats are even dumber.

      • leon

        Modern Monetary Theory!

        As long as we ignore reality constraints it works!

      • pan fried wylie

        *walks off another cliff, remains suspended slightly longer than last time*

        See, it’s workinggggg………*pfff*

    • rhywun

      Must be in one of those lock-boxes.

  21. KOVIDKristen

    Did you see my flyball pic, SP?

  22. The Late P Brooks

    This is the economic equivent of Bugs Bunny pulling himself out of a hole in the ground by his own ears.

    Nice.

    • westernsloper

      Agreed, and I am stealing that.

  23. leon

    I posited this question earlier today and will do so again with slightly changed parameters.

    At what point does Biden/the DoJ (totally above board and not motivated by Biden) start indicting Trump and/or other cabinet level officials (e.g AG Barr) once he takes power?

    A. first 100 days
    b. By Midterms
    c. After Midterms
    d. Never

    I think it happens in A or B. And i don’t think “d” is a possiblity. Trump et.al are different animals than the establishment is used to playing with and they want to make sure that it ends with him.

    • Florida Man

      D. Never. Only if Trump starts dumping intel on Hildog does he have anything to worry about.

      • db

        Wouldn’t it be hilarious if The Donald went all Snowden?

      • db

        I mean, like sneaking shit out of the White House hidden under The Hat and calling up Glenn Greenwald? Let The Hair do the Deep Throat routine?

    • PBRstreetgang

      B. They’ll want to do it in the first 100 days, but Biden might struggle to get a few Cabinet level appointments approved, so they be occupied with that as a first priority.

    • TARDis

      they want to make sure that it ends with him

      Yes. This can never happen again. We’re all in the Matrix. Or is it Brazil?

      • Florida Man

        He had 70 million people vote for him. If they imprison him in the first 100 days I see a red tide in the midterms. Then hopefully a Biden impeachment. Actually. I hope they put Trump in prison. Sets the precedent that presidents aren’t above the law and removes Joe. Maximum lulz.

      • TARDis

        What does the voting matter? If they can change/delete/add votes at will, there will be no red tide. 2018 was a warmup, 2020 is a test run in selected cities, 2022 will be the Superbowl. Driving around in caravans and attending speeches will mean nothing. We will have to fully engage in the process. I predict that if we do, there will be extensive state sponsored violence to discourage it. I’m betting that those two fecal stains on humanity have been told outright they are not in charge.

      • Florida Man

        I don’t know that it’s possible to cover up national fraud. Cheating in a few large cities is very different than cheating in 50 states.

    • Kwihn T. Senshel

      I’m going with d. Mostly because while Trump is a swamp outsider, he’s also a deal-maker. There will be a deal of some sort made with him, and he’ll negotiate but end up agreeing to something that avoids anything more than verbal nastiness.

    • The Hyperbole

      D. With the caveat that that is only regarding the DOJ, I can see some states going after him tooth and claw for shit unrelated to his presidency.

      • leon

        Your probably right.

        But I wouldn’t be shocked if an obstructing if Justice charge is explored

      • kbolino

        Yep, the DoJ probably won’t sully their hands. But there’s a number of state AGs champing at the bit.

      • rhywun

        NY probably had the paperwork ready six months ago. I give it 5 minutes after inauguration.

      • pan fried wylie

        NY wasn’t already pursuing legal action from before the presidency, along with new legal action since his election, as well as already filing the stuff you mentioned ahead of time?

      • rhywun

        You can count on it.

      • pan fried wylie

        I just love when I put on movies from 30yrs ago and people are like “…Trump?! Ugh…” Kevin McAllister passing Trump in his hotel. The 911 Operator in Die Hard 3 remarking about marrying Trump.

        Each reference is just that much richer now.

      • Agent Cooper

        He was one of the few people outside of the pigeon lady who actually helped Kevin.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      e. New York goes after him to provide the feds with cover and I give it a couple of weeks.

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      Only if he starts being inconvenient.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      I’m not sure it will happen at all but if it does…

      B. By the midterms Trump will be barnstorming a bunch of races team blue will inevitably be defending. Can’t have this guy rallying the base.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      Biden will, in the spirit of unity and healing, grant Trump a blanket pardon for all of the various federal crimes he committed while President, thus negating the need for any investigations which might disprove that Trump is, in fact, guilty of those crimes.

      State AGs (especially NY) will hound him for the rest of his life with whatever petty bullshit they can come up with.

    • hoof_in_mouth

      I bet my wife $20 that he would be kicked off Twitter and indicted (probably by NY) by tax day

  24. Count Potato

    I had to reset my browser after an update broke it. Now everything looks bigger? What do I need to change? I can’t think now because I just spent an hour fixing shit.

    • Florida Man

      Sit further away. hth.

    • Trolleric the Goth

      ctrl+scroll wheel

      • Count Potato

        I don’t think it’s the zoom setting. That’s making pages skinnier.

    • TARDis

      Just wait 4 hours, then call a doctor.

      • Kwihn T. Senshel

        “Everything” as in the actual web pages, or as in the UI? If the latter, then prolly something in settings, whether the browser or OS. If the former, than CTRL+0 (zero) usually resets the view to default zoom. Or as Trolleric mentioned, CTRL+ScrollWheel

      • Count Potato

        Definitely the web pages. Not sure about the rest of the UI (title bar and such)

    • Urthona

      Take a snapshot and paste into a paint program. Then zoom out to read.

      You’re welcome.

      • pan fried wylie

        You omitted the remote desktop step. Noob.

    • Agent Cooper

      Get binoculars. Turn them around.

  25. Ownbestenemy

    Im trying to plan a nice dinner out. Lots of great places here in Vegas…Off-strip and on. Problem is…I haven’t followed GlibFit so my happy stay at home ass needs to go get fitted for a new suit.

    • DrOtto

      Oscar’s at The Plaza

      • Ownbestenemy

        Maybe…its on the list

    • Bill Door

      Nice one. It’s a lot like the Bee article about Harry Potter that Rebel Scum posted above.

    • westernsloper

      lol @ Twitter for Nokia

      • Kwihn T. Senshel

        HA! I hadn’t caught that. Saw the dates and stuff, but missed that bit.

    • Brochettaward

      If only we had the ability to post pictures. Or edit posts. It’s almost as if someone is trying to control us…

    • Count Potato

      LOLOLOL

    • TARDis

      I suggest we change the calendar. The year is 4AD (Anno Donald). Or is it Quintus?

  26. The Other Kevin

    According to Facebook, there is no evidence of election fraud. And according to Samantha Bee, Trump lost and he should make a concession speech.

    So I guess that’s settled.

    • Bill Door

      How does Samantha Bee have any voice in anything? She is about the most screechy, annoying, unfunny person on TV today. I largely avoid TBS anymore because her commercials are like nails on a chalkboard to me.

      • rhywun

        #metoo

        It’s almost but not quite as bad as all the Daily Show commercials on Comedy Central from that sanctimonious prick whatever his name is.

    • leon

      Canadians need to stop interfering in our elections.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      That unfunny shrill harpy bitch still has a show or is she twatting?

    • Urthona

      I agree that there is a 0% chance Trump stays, but disagree with the concession. Fight it out every step of the way.

      And Samantha Bee fucking sucks. Not nearly as funny as her brother Babylon.

      • Bill Door

        Legit lol.

      • Bill Door

        Legit lol.

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      I don’t understand why there are so many smarmy foreigners with political TV shows: Oliver, Bee, Noah. It can’t be because being a smarmy asshole is a job Americans won’t do. Just look at Colbert. I don’t get it.

      • kbolino

        Huh, I didn’t know Bee was Canadian. You’d think she’d want to go back, what with Dreamy McCastropants being in charge.

      • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

        Why would she do that when she can act smug in front of a much larger audience down here and for a much larger paycheck?

      • pan fried wylie

        Colbert isn’t British?

      • Trigger Hippie

        From one of the Carolinas, I believe.

      • Bill Door

        Wasn’t his sister in the legislature for South Carolina? I think that was it.

      • Bill Door

        Wasn’t his sister in the legislature for South Carolina? I think that was it.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Not sure, to be honest.

      • Bill Door

        From Wikipedia, apparently she ran for a district in SC, but lost to Mark Sanford. Also, this: [Elizabeth] Colbert Busch supported background checks as part of a gun control bill that was defeated by the U.S. Senate.

        Surprise surprise there, that a leftist shill’s sister is a leftist shill.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Sad thing is, I also liked the early Colbert Report when all he did was parrot Bill O’Reilly and mess with congress critters…then like far too many comics, he began to take himself seriously and started acting like a douchebag.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        He started out fine and then immediately began sniffing his own farts.

        Late night shows appear to have died with Leno’s retirement.

      • DrOtto

        I liked his GM Mr. Goodwrench commercials.

      • Urthona

        He’s French obviously.

      • But Enough About My Wild Culinary Fantasies

        No, but he pronounces his last name as if it were French, like that other douchebag Don Lemon (pro-tip: French for “lemon” is citron, asshole…).

      • Bill Door

        Sideshow Bob: “It doesn’t say ‘Die Bart, Die.’ It’s German for ‘The Bart, The.'”

      • pan fried wylie

        WHOOOOOOOOSH Y’all.

      • db

        My sister is a huge Colbert fan. She was showing me videos of him way before he became famouns. She thought he was hilarious;; I just wanted to punch him.

      • Trigger Hippie

        I liked him in Stranger With Candy.

      • db

        I never watched that show, but did hear good things about it. Didn’t realize he was in it.

      • Trigger Hippie

        I think he played the principlal…and it will really smoke your salmon to know he was the voice for Wilford Brimley’s famous speech about retards and cake.

      • pan fried wylie

        The black guy was the principal, Principal Blackman.

        Colbert was just one of the teachers. History i think, I dunno, Generic Academics maybe. His boyfriend, Mr. Jellyneck was the Art Teacher.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Ah, now I remember. Been awhile since I’ve watched that show. Thanks.

      • pan fried wylie

        Came out 20yrs ago…god.

    • kbolino

      Fun fact: nobody has to concede anything. The election ends when Congress counts the electoral votes and announces the winner. Whether Trump concedes or not is irrelevant; if Biden gets 270 or more votes, Trump has lost. The concession is a pleasant formality not required by law or the Constitution.

      • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

        But you’ll upset Norm!

      • Ownbestenemy

        Try pointing that out to people other than here. They don’t think that. They think one has to concede. Its convention! Its what all the other candidates do! Breaking norms!

        I pointed out to a group of people about the whole “Trump is firing the SecDef so he can attempt a coup” rational. Reminded them that if the electoral votes are <=270 for Biden, then come January 20, 2021, Trump has no authority. Even tied to the Resolute Desk, he is just a normal citizen, that holds no office. The whole "he isn't going to leave office!" that the Right did with Obama and now the Left is doing with Trump is all just partisan rhetoric.

        That is when I learned that this particular group believes Trump will have a force behind him and instigate a military coup.

      • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

        And before the Right did it with Obama, the Left did it with Bush. That’s what makes it easy to disregard their fears.

      • kbolino

        I also think they really, really want to watch him concede. There’s a perverse gratification they get out of it. So, coup fantasies aside, it’s mostly just about domination.

  27. Ownbestenemy

    Hey Western…hows the no smoking going?

    • westernsloper

      Almost picked up a crushed butt I saw on the shop floor from when I was working on the pos weeks and weeks ago but I refrained. I remain cig free as of the typing of this comment.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Awesome brother! Glad to hear that.

      • Grosspatzer

        Was that a thicc butt?

      • pan fried wylie

        Baby got hack.

  28. westernsloper

    I never got the “birther” thing. Even if the asshole was born in Nigeria his mom was an American thus making him a “natural born citizen”. Funny how they never went with that defense.

    • Urthona

      That was stupid. Then I saw the media cling to an equally dumb hoax that Trump said white supremacists were good people. This went on for years.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Why give a guy who was colluding with the Russians the benefit of the doubt though?

    • kbolino

      WELL AKSHUALLY

      There are residency requirements. Here are the current rules which may differ from those in effect in the 1960s. And HI got statehood about 2 years before Obama was born, which added fuel to the fire.

      • grrizzly

        Obama’s mother didn’t satisfy the residency requirement for transmitting the US citizenship at birth to her child born abroad because she was too young: only 18 yo.
        https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/legal/travel-legal-considerations/us-citizenship/Acquisition-US-Citizenship-Child-Born-Abroad.html

        For birth between December 24, 1952 and November 13, 1986, the U.S. citizen parent must have been physically present in the United States or one of its outlying possessions for 10 years prior to the person’s birth, at least five of which were after the age of 14 for the person to acquire U.S. citizenship at birth. The U.S. citizen parent must be the genetic or the gestational parent and the legal parent of the child under local law at the time and place of the child’s birth to transmit U.S. citizenship.

      • Urthona

        the media assures me this is a hoax.

      • kbolino

        Well, you could also argue that he was born out of wedlock since Obama Sr. was already married when he married Dunham, which is illegal in all 50 U.S. states, in which case only the 1-year residency requirement applied.

        But, of course, BHO wasn’t born abroad so none of this matters, except as “interesting” counterfactuals.

      • grrizzly

        If Obama had been born abroad, his eligibility and even citizenship would have been a complete legal shitshow that even the MSM would have been unable to cover up. Too bad there’s no evidence whatsoever that he was born anywhere but in Honolulu.

      • kbolino

        At this point, I don’t think there’s anything the MSM can’t cover up, ignore, or effectively deflect from.

    • The Hyperbole

      If I’m remembering my Birtherism correctly there was some questions about how long his mom had been living outside the states, and also a lot of Jus sanguinis vs jus soli discussion and how the founders were following English Common Law which followed the father’s blood line, also the earth is the center of the universe and it’s only 6000 years old.

      • limey

        *4134 years since God signed off on the job and flipped the switch. 4135 years since completion of all major works pending inspection. 4132 years since Adam and Eve rode off into arid exile on the back of their late model brontosaurus, cursed to be forever more on the unhappy side of the Eden border wall. Rule of law!

      • westernsloper

        Blah blah blah………did the IRS still lay claim to a percentage of any money she may have made abroad? If so, then said person is an American. And the earth is flat. I saw a you tube video.

    • creech

      Did anyone ever ask to see passport control records or, not being computerized, they no longer existed by 2008? If someone had turned up a
      “Mrs. Obama and baby” arrival record from, say 1964, the legal shit would have really hit the fan.

  29. Tundra

    Hiya SP!

    We have the range with the double ovens as well.

    Life changing. Really.

    I think I’m just gonna focus on the happy stuff in your post, like the range and the doggies!

    Speaking of doggies, our newest pack member is setting in nicely. She’s just so damn cute!

    Enjoy your happy upcoming events. Our best friends are in town, so we will be seeing them this weekend. Walz can kiss my ass. I need my people!

    • TARDis

      Cute doggies.

    • DEG

      I like the dogs.

      Enjoy the time with your friends!

    • But Enough About My Wild Culinary Fantasies

      DOGZ ROOL!

    • Ownbestenemy

      Still so happy you found her. That is a pup that is content with he new living arrangements.

      • Tundra

        She is really a sweetheart. And so affectionate that she has shamed my sheepdog into being less of an aloof asshole! I walked in tonight and he beat her to the door! Usually he just lifts his head for a second and resumes full relaxation position.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I see your dogs love the Natuzzis too.

      • Tundra

        That stuff is so old! Beat to hell, but still, it’s really nice. I keep saying I’ll replace it when the kids and dogs are gone, but the dogs just keep showing up!

        We laugh because back many years ago, as we were getting our first dog as a married couple, we were gonna be hardasses about the dogs on the furniture.

        I’ll bet we didn’t last a week!

  30. db

    Is the new range a GE or something more pricey? We had a GE gas range with a nice continous cooktop and double oven and loved it! When we designed our major kitchen reno, we went with a 36″ GE Cafe cooktop and the GE cafe electric double oven with convection /quartz microwave on top. Can’t wait to start cooking in that kitchen!

    • Old Man With Candy

      LG.

      I used to work for the company that owns Wolf and several other pro brands and the fuckers wouldn’t give me an employee discount.

      • db

        We looked at Wolf and the other high end brands but really couldn’t justify the cost for the benefit. We already have a huge investment in the renovation. Honestly, I love cooking but I can’t see putting $70k into appliances. Not enough marginal improvement, I wager.

      • R C Dean

        Double oven – 36 or 48 inches?

        Mrs. Dean used to work for Wolf. She’s not crazy about their quality (same with Sub-Zero), or at least doesn’t think its worth the premium.

        We’re rocking a Dacor cooktop, on account of a Dacor being best range we ever had, by a mile. Left it behind on a move. I swear it was carved out of a chunk of solid stainless steel. The gas/quartz broiler was frighteningly hot. Drawing a blank on the wall oven; all I can think of is it has these cool french doors on it. I think it might be a Wolf, though – our guy gives us the contractor price without a markup. Which he can damn well afford to do, considering what we pay for labor.

      • Old Man With Candy

        I think 36- the space for the stove is limited and since we’re renting, we can’t knock out any cabinets to make more room.

        For ultimate heat, we still have our wok stand and pizza oven.

      • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

        Why? Can’t you get ultimate heat with a solar oven? Or just a piece of sidewalk in the sun?

      • Old Man With Candy

        Surprisingly, the sidewalk only gets to 450 or so. Enough to melt shoes, but you don’t get that nice char on the bottoms of pizza or the wok hei in stir-fried dishes.

    • Agent Cooper

      We are doing a kitchen remodel and moving from electric to gas (finally!)

      Kitchen Aid 36″ range
      Kitchen Aid counter-depth fridge. My wife is a stickler for having the water dispense on the outside.
      Sharp drawer microwave (NOTE: Sharp makes every drawer microwave for every other manufacturer — don’t spend the extra $$$ to have another logo on the front) Also, the Sharp has tilt-out controls so you needn’t bend down to see what buttons you are pressing
      Kitchen AId dishwasher
      Fridgidaire No-Name Range Hood. (I’m not spending and extra $500 to have a matching name on a hunk of metal above the range) It works the same exact way as all the others and has no badging on it at all.

    • db

      If I get by, it’s mine.

    • Trigger Hippie

      Dude, there isn’t enough weed in home to stop the nightmares, thanks!

  31. Count Potato

    ““REPORT: DOMINION DELETED 2.7 MILLION TRUMP VOTES NATIONWIDE. DATA ANALYSIS FINDS 221,000 PENNSYLVANIA VOTES SWITCHED FROM PRESIDENT TRUMP TO BIDEN. 941,000 TRUMP VOTES DELETED. STATES USING DOMINION VOTING SYSTEMS SWITCHED 435,000 VOTES FROM TRUMP TO BIDEN.” ”

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1326926226888544256

    Let’s say that’s true, the data analysis is correct, is that enough to go to court? Then if the court throws out PA, doesn’t Biden still win?

    • Ownbestenemy

      IF provable, I think that throws the whole election into disarray even more. I am guessing at this point the SCOTUS is going to step in and say move on.

    • creech

      Can you computer boffins explain how this could be proven? Would one have to recount all the paper ballots, using a new system or what? With secret ballots, you can’t pull a sample and go around asking voters “did you really vote for Trump or Biden because your vote was recorded for…………?”

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        If its the counting machines that did the fraud, then the physical count would be off. This scheme (as far as I understand what they’re saying happened) occurs purely after the physical ballot has been cast. The computer would adjust the counts on the fly, eliminating or switching the vote count for some received ballots.

      • grrizzly

        Aren’t there still paper ballots somewhere? Can’t they count manually the paper ballots and compare with the machines’ count?

      • Ownbestenemy

        Basically that or forensically identify source code that shows where the ‘flipping’ happened and then replicate it by forcing a sample of say 1 million known ballots through it to see the outcome.

      • creech

        Good answer. So if one ran, say 1,000 sample ballots marked for Trump and 1,000 marked for Biden, and the machine spit out a count of 1,010 for Biden and 990 for Trump that would prove code was not giving accurate numbers?

      • Ownbestenemy

        I think that is the simple answer they are claiming – but I thought I read somewhere they were claiming weighted ballots based on a number of factors that were part of the “flip”. Or I dreamed that last night and making stuff up.

      • Count Potato

        Also, based on what I’ve read, either election officials or outside hackers can change the numbers at several points.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Without any knowledge I could think of a possible way to siphon off #s that work in-line with past voting norms.

        Dems typically get what? 85-100% of the vote of black people? So a dominon machine in a heavily black district will ensure 88% of the votes go to Dems. Regardless of the votes cast.

        So Trump making inroads among blacks and thinks he can break the 20% mark of support, cannot in those areas where the machine is processing ballots and giving the preferred outcome of 88% ballots go to Biden. Knowing that no one is ever going to want to match physical ballots and/or receipts to actual vote tallies, it works.

        How is that for tin-foil time.

      • db

        It’s not quite that simple. It is worth reading the series on “fraction magic” at blackboxvoting.org to understand what may be being alleged.

      • db

        For instance, it’s not necessarily in the “source code” of the voting machine, it’s in the central counting software, and it interfaces with an external database that weights individual ballots.

      • Trigger Hippie

        So…Office Space?

      • db

        Yeah, pretty much that or Superman III

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        So they have networked voting machines talking to a central database, over the internet?

        Who the fuck is that stupid?

      • Urthona

        I believe that was pointed out yesterday.

        But really Superman III.

      • db

        The database is external to the counting software, but probably resides on the same hardware. They claim it was developed to support some special elections in California that require weighted ballots by law, but that it is the default setting for all elections to allow fractional weighting of ballots, so that someone knowledgeable of this could inject weights into a race that isn’t supposed to have them.

      • Urthona

        I’m ok if it talks to a server just to report stuff but the machine itself needs to hold the data so it too can be audited.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Well that just makes you wonder…why would an election ever need to be weighed? Its either yes or no, or candidate A or B (nth).

      • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

        I think (based just on a vague knowledge that this is a thing, so please do not take this as gospel) that in some western states you have weighted voting in some water rights/water commissioner votes.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Every single db transaction should have logging data with up addresses, timestamps, etc. The whole damn system would have to exist on a private firewalled network and very tightly controlled. The incentives to screw with a system like that are massive.

      • db

        Oh, and the databases are based on Microsoft Access, and can be interacted with via VBA (at least could be in 2016, when the expose was written).

      • rhywun

        Who the fuck is that stupid?

        The United States.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Access? VB Script?

        What

        The

        Fuck

      • db

        I recommend watching the “fraction magic” video at blackboxvoting. It has horrible production values, is badly edited, and the sound is crap, but the information is interesting. Not complete, but interesting. I don’t know why they haven’t posted any new articles since 2016.

      • db

        I know, it sounds implausible that people could be that dumb with data, but who knows?

      • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

        When Government sets out to buy any large item, including computer equipment the process can take more than a decade, and the product being bought needs to be identified at the beginning of the process. Changing the order generally starts the process over. So even if the people buying on our behalf and the people selling to our representatives are competant and honest (they aren’t) there is no chance of ending up with anything remotely close to up to date and suited for the purpose.

      • Count Potato

        “So they have networked voting machines talking to a central database, over the internet?

        Who the fuck is that stupid?”

        The government.

        But it’s more stupid than that. There is an “official” and an “unofficial” database with no firewall.

        “I’m ok if it talks to a server just to report stuff but the machine itself needs to hold the data so it too can be audited.”

        Afaik, it doesn’t.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Effectively, my Gmail account is more secure than the US voting system.

      • Count Potato

        “Effectively, my Gmail account is more secure than the US voting system.”

        Yes, and way fewer people want to hack your email.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’m not sure if I should be insulted or not.

      • Count Potato

        Well, it’s not like you have trillions of other people’s money to throw around.

        How do we know this whole thing wasn’t hacked by some defense contractor?

      • Ownbestenemy

        <—Drinking, and just typing.

      • Urthona

        I’m about 99% sure this is complete nonsense but I do at least hope it’s true.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        ?

      • kbolino

        You’d need details that are likely protected by NDA to make any serious examination and conclusions. Though, given all of this, some people may be reverse engineering those details anyway.

      • Ownbestenemy

        If the “BREAKING!” “HUGE!” headlines actually have weight behind them, apparently some Dominion engineers are speaking up? I don’t know. That seems like a rabbit hole that I would gladly go down if I could smoke some pot or eat some shrooms.

      • Urthona

        what headlines? i don’t even see conservative sites mentioning this one.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        As I have pointed out before, proprietary, closed source software in election machines is the dumbest fucking thing ever.

      • Count Potato

        Unless, of course, you are the deep state and want to swing elections.

      • Agent Cooper

        Or give out contracts to your buddies or family members on the boards of such software companies.

      • kbolino

        Meh. The state government could and should apply rigorous testing and QA to any software it uses, whether it be closed source or open. The “million eyes” theory of open source never really panned out. It’s great for transparency’s sake and for helping people to find problems faster, but it’s no panacea.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I trust the “million eyes” over just about any government purchasing quality controls.

      • Urthona

        it’s not about finding problems though. The million eyes is so we can all watch for cheating.

      • kbolino

        I’m not discounting that open source is preferable, only that it doesn’t do all that much on its own. Software does what it’s told; it’s people that make the important judgment calls.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It would at least makes public the specifications that the software is built to, which would immediately cause every autiste in the country to provide commentary on how they could hack it.

        The public has largely been kept away from how these systems work and therefore have misplaced trust in their reliability and security. We need to leverage 4chan.

    • grrizzly

      In other countries, “color” revolutions were triggered by less explosive accusations. Why aren’t Trump supporters on the streets? Or it only happens when Soros pays for it?

      • Ownbestenemy

        Trump supporters are essential workers? I dunno man. Looks like he and/or supporters are ramping up large rallies (that the Big Tech are squashing promotion via online).

      • Mojeaux

        Why aren’t Trump supporters on the streets?

        They have jobs to go to.

      • kbolino

        The Carnation (Portugal) and Velvet (Czechoslovakia) Revolutions worked out a lot better than many of the color revolutions, so apparently flowers and fabrics are better to rally around.

      • Agent Cooper

        So no ORANGE Revolution?

        I guess it’s the CLASSY REVOLUTION then.

      • EvilSheldon

        We’re not quite miserable and impoverished enough yet. Give it another four years.

    • Drake

      Still going to recount Ga, WI, and MI. All three are going be big fights and I wouldn’t be surprised if they all swing to Trump. What happened in Detroit isn’t going withstand any examination. That’s why they are so desperate for Trump to concede.

      • Urthona

        I would be. Very. None of them will.

      • Sean

        And why the shutdowns are coming back around.

      • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

        Georgia and Wisconsin were close and some sort of succesful ballot challenges against mail ins that were counted outside the rules combined with recounts could conceivably flip one or both. Pennsylvania is around a 50k vote difference and Trump needs a big swath of ballots thrown out. Michigan is a matter of 150,000 votes, unless Trump’s lawyers have very conclusive proof of fraud on a grand scale that is vanishingly unlikely to be reversed. Trump needs quite a lot of court intervention to win this and that means proof of fraud, not statistical analysis, or hypothetical capacities in the software. I’d love to see him pull it off, but I am expecting President Biden.

      • Urthona

        yes. this.

        a recount is gonna net him like 15 votes. it isn’t gonna do shit.

      • Drake

        Good chance all Detroit precincts get thrown out because their ballot counts will be way below vote counts.

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      I’ll have to see more details before I jump on that one.

  32. Count Potato

    “White Women’s Support for Trump Remains High in 2020 Election

    White women have to answer for backing the Republican nominee yet again.

    Exit polls conducted by Edison Research found that while a reported 57% of women overall voted for Joe Biden this year, 55% of white women voted for Trump — representing at least a two-point increase for this demographic since 2016.

    I’ve always loved to collect my “I voted!” sticker following any election, presidential or otherwise. I’ve never taken my constitutional right to vote for granted, and as a white woman, there’s an inherent privilege in doing so. Depressingly enough, this is a privilege an apparent majority of white women seem to have wielded like a weapon for the second election in a row.”

    https://www.teenvogue.com/story/white-women-support-trump

    • Urthona

      let’s make all the white women answer!!

    • creech

      So it was the white women, not the Libertarians , who swung the election. Everyone knows there aren’t any Libertarian women.

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      It’s almost like white women have white husbands, white fathers, white brothers and white sons whom they think shouldn’t be demonized.

      • pan fried wylie

        Shirley, some of them are into the big black cock? Those ones absolutely shoulda voted for Biden, else they gotta return those dicks to the plantation.

    • kbolino

      as a white woman, there’s an inherent privilege in doing so

      The level of sexism and racism in this statement is off the charts.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That’s all they know, all they traffic in.

        Outside of identity politics, they don’t have two neurons to rub together.

    • rhywun

      Herpity derpity doo.

    • Trigger Hippie

      ‘…as a white woman, there’s an inherent privilege in doing so’

      That inherent right to vote that all white women throughout history and locale have always enjoyed…it’s inherent.

    • Urthona

      excellent

      • Count Potato

        Doesn’t mean it’s going to happen.

  33. R C Dean

    The Trump campaign won an enormous loophole in court today.

    “[The] Court concludes that Respondent Kathy Boockvar, in her official capacity as Secretary of the Commonwealth, lacked statutory authority to issue the November 1, 2020, guidance to Respondents County Board of Elections insofar as that guidance purported to change the deadline in Section 1308(h) of the Pennsylvania Election Code […] for certain electors to verify proof of identification, based on Secretary Boockvar’s interpretation and application of the Pennsylvania Supreme Court’s decision in Pennsylvania Democratic Party v. Boockvar,” Judge Mary Hannah Leavitt’s ruling reads. “Accordingly, the Court hereby ORDERS that Respondents County Boards of Elections are enjoined from counting any ballots that have been segregated.”

    And if, as I believe has been reported, certain large counties neglected to segregate late ballots as ordered by the Supreme Court, what then?

    Either:

    (a) they count those ballots regardless because they aren’t segregated and the PA decision doesn’t prohibit it or

    (b) they can’t count any ballots unless they can show that they weren’t subject to the orders to (i) segregate and (ii) not be counted.

    The suspense is killing me.

    • Urthona

      yeah but that’s like a total of 50 votes.

    • Urthona

      oh nm. I see what you’re saying.

      because they failed to segregate the votes, the court may order them all thrown out? seems unlikely but i can see them trying.

      • Urthona

        And even if all late votes were deducted from the totals, Biden wins that state easily.

      • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

        Do we know how many late votes there were? Biden got a massive percentage of the votes that were counted after Election night in PA, if Trump gets anything lose to 100k thrown out that might be enough.

      • Urthona

        The late arrived votes are estimated to be around 10,000.

        Even if you throw those out, Trump is not even sniffing a win in PA.

        Republicans will have to make some sort of argument that more mail ins should be thrown out. And that is a very tough battle with very bad odds.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I think that is the crux of the argument is it not? Since mail-in ballots were sent out with bulk-mail, do they get postmarked? If they do, then the argument is nothing and you have your 10k ballots that can be tossed. If they are not, how do you distinguish or even determine they were late and not just delivered and dumped into a box of ‘to be counted’ pile?

      • Urthona

        But the margin is too small to matter. You must first show this and then segue into other legal arguments.

        And if you succeed in that (and you won’t) then you only have two more states to go.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        If they throw them all out, how would PA be able to assign electors?

  34. Old Man With Candy

    I originally read the title as “Links of Excrement.”

  35. Raven Nation

    From a financial newsletter I get:

    “My advice to all of you is to be less loosey-goosey with your tax returns going forward. There is a new sheriff in town. And if it’s Elizabeth Warren, it’ll be Robespierre.”

    • pan fried wylie

      That author aint no Dennis Miller.

  36. Count Potato

    “HUG OVERDOSE: After over six months of going without human contact, elderly care home residents are beaming with happiness after getting to embrace their relatives again thanks to a special COVID-safe ‘hug room’ in northern Italy.”

    https://twitter.com/ABC/status/1326863704890204160

    This is just sad 🙁

    • pan fried wylie

      More of them died of the hugs than of covid.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Well that is a lie. She has a nurse right there, contacting her….

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Screw that boy in the plastic bubble nonsense. Who wants to hug grandma and grandpa through a glovebag?

  37. Count Potato

    “For liberals angry Trump is wrestling control away from Pentagon officials to end the 19-year-old war in Afghanistan:

    Don’t worry: Biden, Ben Rhodes & Susan Rice will quickly find new wars, ensuring the beautiful rainbow diversity of the Raytheon & Boeing boards still thrive.

    “Trump promised those troops would be home by the holiday. But while the White House pushed hard on the Pentagon to fulfill that wish, DoD leaders resisted, saying instead any withdrawal needed to be “conditions-based.'”

    Guess which side liberals are on:

    It’s outrageous that Trump is trying to control foreign policy instead of relinquishing power to the permanent clatch of Pentagon warmongers, General Dynamics lobbyists, and CIA operatives, say the people who insist that only conspiratorial crazies believe there’s a Deep State.

    For those asking why Trump didn’t withdraw troops from Afghanistan before now: try reading the news.

    In July, pro-war Dems on the House Armed Services Committee joined with Liz Cheney & friends to bar any monies used for withdrawal:”

    https://twitter.com/ggreenwald/status/1326889273535197184

    • Ownbestenemy

      Oh the whole of the local Biden groups around here are pointing to the France beheading as why we need troops in Afghanistan.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Are there even any Afghanis in France?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Or are they arguing that we have to kill them over there so they don’t come here? You know, it might be simpler and more humane to just not let them in, oh wait…

      • Ownbestenemy

        I pointed that out..and then they scream but ISIS! WHAT IF THEY COME BACK! We truly are simple creatures that learned to use our thumbs.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      My problem is the more news I read, the more pissed off I get.

      • Count Potato

        Ignorance is bliss?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Sure starting to feel that way.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Just give up politics and start watching sports, that should get your blood pressure down.

      • pistoffnick

        “…the more pissed off I get.”

        Good, good, let it flow through you!

        Welcome to pistoff anonymous. My name is nick.

        There are low carb snacks at the buffet. There is cocaine and automatic weapons in the vending machines down the hall.

      • rhywun

        BRB

    • straffinrun

      Hey Biden supporters, if you bring the troops home, you’ll have more to enforce your national mask mandate.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      The right and left switched sides on so many issues in the last four years its making me rethink if they really switched sides for racism.

      • straffinrun

        The left switched sides on the war issue 12 years ago.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Indeed, I’m still left questioning my assumptions.

      • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

        Us = good, and good does good things, therefore whatever we do is good. Not us = bad and bad does bad things, therefore whatever not us does is bad. Trump is not us to basically everyone in Washington.

      • straffinrun

        The line between good and evil exists in the heart of cis normative white males. Everyone else is an automaton.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Its okay, Jesus still loves you.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Ain’t no self-respecting neoliberal going to listen to that Russian stooge.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I can’t believe they’re bringing back that twat, Rhodes.

      He is the personification of the millennial beta male with a passive aggressive personality.

  38. LJW

    FFS just bought a new prelit Christmas tree. Set it up to check it out. Walked out of the room for a second came back and the damn dog chewed up one of the lights along with the wire. Now I have to figure out how to replace that strand, luckily it was unplugged so I don’t have to replace the dog.

  39. Gustave Lytton

    SP is as self deprecating as Paul Harrell, and would gladly listen to her and OMWC’s party life than what passes for the news today.

    MFO has been knocking off Americans for a long time. I think it still holds the record for most Screaming Eagles killed since Vietnam, although perhaps GWOT has eclipsed it by now.

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arrow_Air_Flight_1285

    • dbleagle

      That plane brought a load of my battalion over (3/60th Inf) and crashed on the backhaul. There were a bunch of shocked dogfaces sitting in the desert when we heard about it.

  40. straffinrun

    Voter fraud? Voting is fraud.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      So says the guy with the fight the cock power avatar.

      Or is it fight the power with your cock?

      • Jarflax cancelled Cancelled

        I thought that was the Flag of the Blue Haired Radical Feminist Party?

      • westernsloper

        With face tats, don’t forget the face tats.

      • straffinrun

        That’s not a cock. It’s a shenis, bigot.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Ah, a Crying Game scenario.

    • Tundra

      Lol.

      My future. Avenge me!

    • leon

      That apart from standing back while businesses get burned down.

    • Tundra

      I made it about 3 minutes.

      Great group, though!

    • leon

      Malice is about the only one i can stand to listen to for any length of time.

    • westernsloper

      How many lists did I make clicking that link?