It’s the second day of Chanukah, and my true love gave to me: a shunra and a khad gadya, that my father bought for bizray zuzay. Wait, that was a different song. Never mind.

But if we’re singing, let’s sing Happy Birthday to a guy who coordinated beautifully; the star of Red House who visited a hooker and paid the price; Ol’ Blue Eyes; Ol’ Brown Eyes; an inventor more important than Edison; one of my favorite bandleaders; a drummer who outlived Keith Moon, but barely; and a woman whose physical perfection caused teenage me to spill hundreds of gallons of seed.

Now as we light the shammus, it’s time to consider the news.

 

I’m sure there’s fine policy and no pork.

 

I’m sure this is 100% USDA-approved pork.

 

I’m a critic of the death penalty, but this one bothers me considerably less.

 

Racism or just a shitty driver? I‘m guessing the latter.

 

Israel: Apartheid State.

 

Tulsi has a “heinous record.”

 

Spudalicious and I can now say we lived on health food.

 

Old Guy Music is the band of one of our birthday folk. Clark Terry steals the show, but hang on when Toshiko’s husband stands up and kicks ass. This is great Big Band.