Saturday Morning Links of Substitution

by | Dec 5, 2020 | Daily Links | 163 comments

OK, well, this is an abbreviated edition. I’m exhausted and OMWC and Spud are passed out.

Gosh, let’s just start off this morning with something uplifting.

Here’s a link for ‘sloper:  Oops

NASA contributes this.

I’m sorry, Colorado.

Because Christmas is all about tourism, after all.

 

And music.

 

Have a nice day!

 

About The Author

SP

SP

I've got an idea! How about we just stick to the Constitution as written and then the government can leave me the fuck alone.

163 Comments

  1. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Detectives arrested Maurice Taylor Sr., who police described as a Black 34-year-old male, for “the murder of his 12-year-old son and 13-year-old daughter.”

    He was booked at Lancaster station and is being held with a bail of $2 million.

    Why would you even set bail?

    • Count Potato

      He could be innocent?

    • mrfamous

      I’m assuming he doesn’t have any kids left, so he’s no longer a threat

  2. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Polis, Reason darling, utterly unserious.

    • Count Potato

      *confused dog stare*

  3. Plinker762

    Did NASA use their death ray on the boat storage? Perhaps a subtle reminder to the citizens of Michigan to obey. 😉

    • DrOtto

      Space Force was ever so pissed.

  4. Old Man With Candy

    We are not doing well this morning.

    • Gender Traitor

      Well, you’re awake and able to form complete sentences, so that’s something.

    • C. Anacreon

      It’s reassuring to know people even older than me can still get hammered.

  5. Count Potato

    “Here’s a link for ‘sloper: Oops

    NASA contributes this.”

    Same link?

    *drinks more cofeve*

    • C. Anacreon

      Careful, Facebook might ban you for using the word “sloper.”

  6. CPRM

    Because Christmas is all about tourism, after all.

    Hajj Pilgrimage is a big part of religion for some.

  7. Count Potato

    “I’m sorry, Colorado.”

    Couldn’t he just wash his hands first?

    • mrfamous

      That wouldn’t work as well for the Mastervirus Theater video

    • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

      Should have used some Mountain Dew.

  8. Count Potato

    “The Church of the Nativity has always been a powerful draw for an economically distressed part of the Israeli-occupied West Bank.”

    How do you occupy your own country?

    • leon

      Ask Texas, Louisiana, …

    • hayeksplosives

      High-five for count potato!

  9. The Late P Brooks

    Marina employee Tony Caruso said he waxes boats between seasons.

    No shame in that, Tony.

    • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

      “Aaaay! I wax boats on my own time! Who da fug is askin’!”

      • l0b0t

        I love when my brain is better than Google. I went looking for a Pontiac Trans-Am commercial, a Clio award winner form 1983, that featured a Brooklyn character named Lou Patanza – “This Trans-Am is the BEST! Lou Pantaza doesn’t lie! Lou Patanza speaks the truth; come ask me, I’ll tell ya right to your face!

        But, I can’t video of it anywhere on the tubes. Sigh…

  10. Sean

    *looks around*

    *ponders going back to bed*

  11. The Late P Brooks

    Why wasn’t Polis wearing a ballgag? Whoever filmed that is as good as dead, now.

  12. Count Potato

    “Johns Hopkins professor slams the FDA for ‘holding up COVID vaccine approval’ and dubs agency’s progress ‘Operation Turtle Speed’ as another 2,607 die, hospitalizations hit a record 101K and new model projects 539,000 fatalities by April”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9020393/Johns-Hopkins-professor-slams-FDA-holding-approval-COVID-vaccine-red-tape.html

    “Dr. Fauci says vaccinations for healthy Americans will NOT begin until April as COVID surpasses heart disease as the leading cause of death in the US”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9020689/Dr-Fauci-says-vaccinations-healthy-Americans-NOT-begin-April.html

    Heart disease causes around 650,000 deaths per year.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      It also is probably the primary factor in a significant number of “COVID deaths”

    • Plinker762

      Have any other mRNA vaccines been used on an entire population?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Oh shush you

      • Plinker762

        I remember the story where the nice aliens gave us a vaccine to prevent all diseases only to cause mass sterility and doom the human race.

      • Drake

        That was back when the FBI had honest Agents like Mulder.

      • Count Potato

        “Up until December 2020, no mRNA vaccine, drug, or technology platform, had ever been approved for use in humans, and before 2020, mRNA was only considered a theoretical or experimental candidate for use in humans.”

      • Plisade

        Well, it’ll be the entire population less at least one. I’m out.

      • Plinker762

        Metoo

      • Sean

        #metoo

    • rhywun

      Oh goody, a scary new model.

  13. Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

    Mornin’ SP! Thanks for the web-site and the links! The music link was *kissy fingers*. I hope that you corral those bad boys and have a wonderful day.

    • TARDis

      I must say, the music certainly kept my blood pressure steady whilst reading the links and surfing the net. My tits are quite calm.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    Pollyanna Pence gets schooled

    Vice President Pence traveled to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta on Friday for a briefing, saying America is “in a season of hope” and “help is on the way” with emergency use authorization for the first coronavirus vaccine potentially less than two weeks away.

    But what Pence heard from some of the nation’s top public health officials was a grim assessment of the current state of the pandemic.

    ——-

    “Hospitalizations are still rising. And it’s a real problem. Health care providers are overstretched, beds are full,” Walke said, providing the “very tough advice” for Americans to stay at home during the holiday season. Dr. Robert Redfield, the CDC’s director, said the focus now is just on trying to prevent the health care system from becoming completely overwhelmed.

    Pence said the vaccines from Pfizer and Moderna could get preliminary authorization from the Food and Drug Administration the week of Dec. 14 and said doses could be delivered quickly. “Within 48 hours from the FDA approval, we could be vaccinating people literally in all 50 states and territories all across the country,” Pence said.

    But Dr. Jay Butler, the CDC’s deputy director for infectious diseases, delivered a grim dose of reality. “The week of the 14th is only the beginning of the beginning,” Butler said. “This will be a marathon and not a sprint.”

    ——-

    “We’ll need to continue these mitigation measures — the spacing, washing our hands, wearing a mask — probably well into the spring until we get more widely available vaccine,” Walke said.

    What a sad, deluded fool, thinking there is anything but bad news and gloom on the horizon. We’re nowhere near the light at the end of the forest.

    The floggings will continue until morale improves.

    • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

      They will continue until Pence is in Gitmo on January 21st.

    • EvilSheldon

      Health care providers are overstretched, beds are full…”

      I see that we’ve moved on from garbage computer models, to just outright lying.

  15. Count Potato

    “What changed your mind, Nancy? Pelosi says it was NOT a mistake to refuse $500 billion COVID relief before election but admits she will now settle for less than the $2 trillion she wanted

    Speaker Nancy Pelosi said Friday it was not a mistake to refuse Republicans’ $500 billion offer on COVID relief before the election although she is willing to accept a smaller deal now. Pelosi refused to hold a vote on Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell’s measure this fall as she and Senate Democratic Leader Chuck Schumer pushed their $2.2 trillion proposal. But, on Friday, the speaker said she was willing to hold a vote on a $908 billion COVID relief package proposed by a bipartisan group of lawmakers earlier this week. Pelosi said the fact Joe Biden won the presidential election and that there are promising vaccines near completion that sparked the change. ‘A new president and a vaccine,’ she summed up at her weekly press conference on Capitol Hill as the reason behind her decision.

    And she denied that not passing the smaller relief package before the election was a mistake.

    ‘That was not a mistake. It was a decision, and it has taken us to a place where we can do the right thing,’ she pushed back when a reporter questioned her on the issue. ‘It’s about how we address the needs of the American people. In a scientific way, and we have to do it in a way that recognizes people need food on the table, they need to get their rent paid. They need money in their pockets. They need their unemployment insurance to be, they do not need a whole cabinet of other things that are on the agenda that have nothing to do with meeting their needs,’ she said.

    ‘So we’re very pleased that where it is and as I say, with a Democratic president committed to a scientific solution for this with the idea that we will have a vaccine – it’s a complete game changer from that.'”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9013031/Biden-Democrats-swing-bipartisan-virus-aid-bill.html

    What kind of drunk bullshit is that?

    • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

      The kind where she slaps you across the face the night before and wakes you up with a blowey three hours later?

      • Count Potato

        Listen, I can understand the Kellyanne Conway thing, but that’s way over the line!

      • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

        Lived life is lived with purpose. I didn’t say that I liked it but I also did not turn down the BJ. That was my Ex, by the way so you can turn dirty thoughts out into the aether where they belong.

      • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

        “Black Irish” they call them. I met her at the roller rink when I was 15. I was smitten. Smote. Ten years later she started making my life a hell on earth.

  16. Count Potato

    “Federal court restores DACA and orders DHS to accept new applicants immediately – dealing a huge blow to Trump’s three-year bid to end Obama’s ‘Dreamer’ program

    Donald Trump’s three year battle to overturn the rules regarding undocumented immigrants brought to the U.S. as children was dealt a blow on Friday night, after a judge in Brooklyn fully restored the Obama-era program. ”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9020353/Federal-court-restores-DACA-reopen-time-applicants-immediately.html

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      orders DHS to accept new applicants immediately

      A clear overstep on the part of the judiciary.

      We have an overabundance of kings in this country. While the legislative branch fiddles away, the judges and executive burn the separation of powers down.

      • leon

        Under Trump every federal judges have: made past presidential executive orders law, enshrined an order that was illegal as unrepealable, given themselves Nationwide jurisdictions, and appointed themselves as prosecutors in complete contravention of supreme Court precedent.

      • juris imprudent

        Well that is something the Supreme Court can address, benchslapping that stuff back down the judges throats.

  17. Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

    I misread “substitution” as “submission”. Was that wrong? Should I have not done that? Did I take a left turn at Alburquerque?

  18. The Late P Brooks

    One guy can be used to completely refute everything, if you can just find him

    A Wyoming Department of Health official involved in the state’s response to the coronavirus questioned the legitimacy of the pandemic and described a forthcoming vaccine as a biological weapon at a recent event.

    The “so-called pandemic” and efforts to develop a vaccine are plots by Russia and China to spread communism worldwide, department readiness and countermeasures manager Igor Shepherd said at the Nov. 10 event held by the group Keep Colorado Free and Open.

    Shepherd was introduced as and talked about being a Wyoming Department of Health employee in the hour-plus presentation in Loveland, Colorado.

    Shepherd’s baseless and unsubstantiated claims undermined Wyoming’s public health measures — and public exhortations — to limit the spread of the virus, as well as its plans to distribute Covid-19 vaccines in the months ahead.

    Even so, Wyoming officials including Gov. Mark Gordon, who at a recent news conference called people not taking the virus seriously “knuckleheads,” declined to comment.

    ——-

    Researchers have worried for months that politicized skepticism of COVID-19 vaccines could hurt their efficacy. Vaccines are more effective if most of the population is inoculated.

    Researchers at Johns Hopkins and Texas State University wrote a paper in July stressing that concern, the Star-Tribune reported.

    “If poorly designed and executed, a Covid-19 vaccination campaign in the U.S. could undermine the increasingly tenuous belief in vaccines and the public health authorities that recommend them — especially among people most at risk of Covid-19 impacts,” the researchers wrote.

    It’s a plot by the Nazis to wreck public safety and kill all the coloreds and the gays.

    • leon

      What’s funny is that they have no problem reporting on this random state level official, but when the president claims election fraud, they act like it’s their sacred duty to never report on a conspiracy theory.

      • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

        We’ve run out of tin-foil, Leon. I’m afraid that you’ll just have to wrap a rag across your face for now. It’s the best that we could do in such short order. Cheers!

      • Ted S.

        And they have no problem using loaded words like “baseless” is a supposedly straight news story.

    • Tres Cool

      Knuckleheads? He was channeling Charles Barkely ?

  19. Count Potato

    “The culture is ailing. It’s time for a Dr. Fauci for the arts.

    When a president calls a meeting of the Cabinet, most vital sectors of the economy — from soybean farmers to auto manufacturers — have an appointed government representative in the room, a secretary of agriculture or transportation, to speak for them.

    You know what doesn’t get a seat at the table, and never has? The arts. And in this crisis moment, when a pandemic threatens ruination for museums, theaters, concert halls, opera houses, dance studios, cineplexes and amusement parks — and the 5.1 million arts workers who staff them — the time has come to rectify this glaring oversight.

    Now, more than ever, we need a secretary of arts and culture.

    As President-elect Joe Biden rolls out his circle of close advisers, the notion is gaining momentum among leaders and advocates of nonprofit groups and for-profit companies: that someone should be named to coordinate arts funding, unite assorted agencies and underline the value of arts and entertainment to the nation’s financial, social and psychological well-being.

    A national advocate. An Anthony Fauci — but at the Cabinet level — for the arts.”

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/entertainment/biden-fauci-secretary-of-arts-cabinet-post/2020/12/01/a04f3bf8-2da3-11eb-bae0-50bb17126614_story.html

    Remember as you go through life, whenever you have a bad idea, someone is being paid to have a worse idea.

    • leon

      In two years will people remember ST Fauci so fondly? Once OMB is gone and science can speak truth again without being sacrificed to the alter of DNC electoral power politics?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Yes yes… a Ministry of Culture… exactly what we need. It goes so well with our burgeoning thoughtcrime laws.

    • rhywun

      Go fuck yourself, grifter.

    • juris imprudent

      That comment I made about Democrats and bad ideas. Insert here.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    Man’s bottomless, inextinguishible need to point his finger at someone and assign blame

    A Kansas son’s obituary paying tribute to his father who died of Covid-19 is going viral for excoriating mask refusers.

    In the death notice, Courtney Farr, the son of the late Dr. Marvin J. Farr, who died December 1 at Park Lane Nursing Home in Scott City, Kansas, wrote that his father was “preceded in death by more than 260,000 Americans infected with Covid-19.”

    Describing his late father as a man born into the Great Depression and having survived World War II amidst great sacrifice, Courtney Farr said Marvin “died in a world where many of his fellow Americans refuse to wear a piece of cloth on their face to protect one another.”

    “He died in a room not his own, being cared for by people dressed in confusing and frightening ways. He died with Covid-19, and his final days were harder, scarier and lonelier than necessary. He was not surrounded by friends and family.”

    Go get your boat waxed, Courtney. Maybe you’ll feel better.

    • Count Potato

      “He was not surrounded by friends and family.”

      That is very sad, but you can’t blame the virus for that.

      • hayeksplosives

        Ding-ding ding!!

      • EvilSheldon

        Well, blaming the responsible parties would require some capacity for self-awareness.

    • ruodberht

      I’ve said it elsewhere:

      “This would have been over if you people just wore a mask!!!” is the Dolchstoßlegende of 2020.

    • DrOtto

      No mention of age. Born in great depression. Trump just smothered another young man in his sleep.

      • ruodberht

        81 at least, then. And died “with” covid. Fucker could have had stage 4 lung cancer.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Farr wrote that the response has been “vastly positive, but I have seen a few negative comments, including claims that I made my father’s obituary political.”

    “Well, his death was political,” Farr wrote. “He died in isolation with an infectious disease that is causing a national crisis. To pretend otherwise or to obfuscate is also a political decision.”

    claims that I made my father’s obituary political And in what way is that incorrect?

    Blow it out your ass.

    • rhywun

      Christ, what an asshole.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Not soon enough

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      astronomers reveal Earth is heading toward a black hole

      Assuming that this is the same article from a few weeks back, this statement is 100% bullshit. Using a different measurement technique, they refined the measurement they took between Sag A and Earth. The refined measurement was marginally closer than the previously measured distance.

      TMI Filled With Idiots

  22. Tundra

    Good morning, SP!

    And good morning to the rest of you lovely people!

    A storage facility near me burned down a few nights ago. Is this some bizarre war on recreation?

    What’s not bizarre is your musical selection. Strangely soothing and hypnotic. Thank you!

    I hope you all can shake off the ‘vid blues and get out there and do something groovy! I’m gonna hit the trails and listen to Rippetoe’s latest. He’s become my favorite crabby podcaster.

    • Gender Traitor

      The nature center five miles from my house is having a free admission day! (It’s usually $10 for adults.) Their gift shop is one of my favorite places to go Christmas shopping, and I might just walk a trail or two while I’m there. Plus there’s a new-&-used bookstore just a few miles from there.

      • Tundra

        Perfect! Have a great day, GT!

      • Gender Traitor

        Thanks! I will, and I know you will too!

  23. The Late P Brooks

    An Anthony Fauci — but at the Cabinet level — for the arts.

    Why didn’t I think of that?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      A national scold reminding us to ingest our propaganda for our own well-being.

    • Count Potato

      Your mother could hold a baby without dropping it?

      • CPRM

        legit chuckle.

      • Sean

        Bazinga!

    • Plisade

      I’ll believe in the alien lizard invasion thing before I’ll ever believe that a Fauci-like human is in any way an epitomic leader of any sort. Dude has zero rhetorical style, he’s not physically attractive. He’s a winy little turd and when he speaks my bullshit meter dings a five alarm fire.

  24. The Late P Brooks

    Heads rolled.

  25. Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

    Alright, I’m out for now. Have the best day that you can manage and God bless us Sagittarians!

    • Plisade

      You’re very entertaining and it is appreciated. Have a good weekend.

  26. Not Adahn

    Sean bait:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=geiq5izDJv0

    Everyone can appreciate the first ten seconds, then it goes to the hot SIG-on-SIG action

    “makes an ideal safe queen and excellent at instagram flexes”

    • EvilSheldon

      Nice range.

      • Not Adahn

        I didn’t recognize him at the time, but his squad was kind of my least favorites.

    • Sean

      Interesting. I hate the color on the scorpion. Sig sells axg black lowers though.

      I have some thoughts right now about buying a 320 and ordering that lower.

      Still won’t be as nice as my P228 tt.

    • juris imprudent

      Must miss TV.

  27. Count Potato

    “The gender gap here on this vaccine poll is remarkable.

    69% of men say they’re likely to take the COVID vaccine.
    51% of women say they’re likely to take the COVID vaccine.

    Gotta wonder how this ties into social media and online wellness communities.”

    https://twitter.com/oneunderscore__/status/1334908838051504130

  28. The Late P Brooks

    Fact checkers, ASSEMBLE!

    False reports and claims about COVID-19 cases can cause people to ignore the serious consequences of failing to take precautions that might affect them, their family members and friends.

    Bob Anderson, chief of the Mortality Statistics Branch at the National Center for Health Statistics at the CDC, said false claims put people’s lives in danger.

    “In this particular instance, this misinformation may cause people to not take this virus serious, not to do their due diligence in terms of preventing the spread,” Anderson told Newsweek. “That’s the biggest risk of misinformation.”

    The Claim

    In late November, the student-run Johns Hopkins News-Letter published a story, since retracted, about a study claiming that there have been no extra deaths, known as “excess deaths,” in the U.S. this year from COVID-19 compared to deaths expected in an otherwise normal year.

    In late November, the student-run Johns Hopkins News-Letter published a story, since retracted, about a study claiming that there have been no extra deaths, known as “excess deaths,” in the U.S. this year from COVID-19 compared to deaths expected in an otherwise normal year.

    The Facts

    This year, there have been nearly 300,000 excess deaths attributed to COVID-19, as of early October, according to Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) data.

    The story was published on November 22, then taken down, with a retraction published on November 27. The retraction said the study cited in the story “has been used to support dangerous inaccuracies that minimize the impact of the pandemic.”

    Anderson said taking down the story was warranted.

    “The study was retracted by the newsletter for a reason,” Anderson said. “It’s because it wasn’t very good at all.”

    The student-run publication said its decision was made “to stop the spread of misinformation,” and it acknowledged that it had inaccurately claimed that there was “no evidence that COVID-19 created any excess deaths” and that number of total deaths were “not above normal death numbers.”

    The story, titled “COVID-19 Deaths: A Look at U.S. Data,” reported on a webinar by Genevieve Briand, assistant director of the master’s in Applied Economics program at the Johns Hopkins Krieger School of Arts and Sciences. The webinar was predicated on Briand’s analyses of publicly available data from the CDC.

    In its retraction, the Johns Hopkins student publication said Briand is neither a medical professional nor a disease researcher.

    Take that, you uncredentialed obfuscators! You’re killing millions of innocent peepul with your campaign of disinformation and anti-SCIENCE nonsense.

    Never mind the whole point of the story was to ask whether those “attributions” were correct; don’t let that stand in the path of the narrative.

    • Count Potato

      “LA completely shut down, all travel on “on foot, bicycle, scooter, motorcycle, auto, or public transit prohibited” – but an exception if you work in “music, film and television production””

      https://twitter.com/lhfang/status/1334389792113475590

      • juris imprudent

        That’s the same exemption written into every California gun law (with the addition of exempting LE). Fuck ’em.

    • EvilSheldon

      Come on everybody, say it with me… “We’re all in this together!”

      • hayeksplosives

        Fuck off, collectivist scum.

      • Tundra

        And yet, when you share stories like this with the Branch Covidians, they appear to have no problem with it.

        Evil or stupid?

      • Count Potato

        Why not the two?

      • EvilSheldon

        I’m increasingly coming to believe that stupidity and evil are two sides of the same blackened denari…

    • Gender Traitor

      Hey! SNL audience members are essential workers!

      Following coronavirus guidelines that say TV programs can have live audiences consisting of employees, cast, and crew only, Malenius and her friends each got $150 for attending the taping.

      Probably not the only reason you have to pay people to come watch the show.

      • rhywun

        Multiple ridiculous theaters.

  29. hayeksplosives

    Walke said, providing the “very tough advice” for Americans to stay at home during the holiday season.

    What’s tough about that advice? He can advise us all to get buzz haircuts, and it’s not harsh because no one is going to act on that “advice.”

    Same here.

    I find the inclusion of the suggested emotional response right there in the headlines to be an annoying new trend.

    “Alarming trend”, “spikes ominously”, “harsh advice”, etc.

    Just the facts, ma’am.

    • rhywun

      The “tough advice” is going to turn into “baton-wielding cops” if the king’s subjects don’t take it. They’re just buttering us up for it with that kind of language.

      • juris imprudent

        All of the talk of unity sounds so much to my ears like “stop resisting”.

    • Count Potato

      Remember how conservatives complained about a “War on Christmas”?

  30. Count Potato

    “While charges against Robert Kraft were dismissed, an immigrant masseuse accused of giving him a handjob has to pay $31,573 and spend a year on probation”

    https://twitter.com/ENBrown/status/1334243756300791813

    So he’s the only one that got off?

  31. hayeksplosives

    ‘That was not a mistake. It was a decision, and it has taken us to a place where we can do the right thing,’

    Nancy Pelosi (from up thread) on why she refused to settle for $500 billion Covid relief before th election, during which she held out for 2.2 TRILLION dollars, then agreed to the $500 B after the election.

    What the hell kind of doublespeak is that? “A place where we can do the right thing”? So not signing wasnt a mistake, but signing is the right thing to do?

    Does she hear herself?

  32. The Late P Brooks

    What the hell kind of doublespeak is that? “A place where we can do the right thing”? So not signing wasnt a mistake, but signing is the right thing to do?

    Now that there is no danger of President Cartoon Villain getting any sort of credit for “helping” we can take whatever can get (for now).

  33. The Late P Brooks

    You got to get yore mind right, Son.

    The Oregon Medical Board suspended the license of an Oregon doctor who said he refuses to wear a mask in his clinic while also encouraging others to not wear masks.

    Dr. Steven LaTulippe told a pro-Trump rally in November that neither he nor his staff wears a mask while working in their Dallas, Ore. clinic. That violates a state order requiring health care workers to wear a face-covering in health care settings.

    Members of the medical board voted Thursday evening to suspend LaTulippe’s license immediately. According to a statement on the Oregon Medical Board website, the suspension was issued “due to the board’s concern for the safety and welfare of licensee’s current and future patients.”

    Burn the heretics!

    • rhywun

      Well, if there’s anyone who knows medicine more than a doctor, it’s state bureaucrats.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      No room for dissent, or even informed consent.

    • Q Continuum

      “State licensure (or registration, or information gathering, etc. etc.) is just there for your protection and would never be used against you!”

  34. The Late P Brooks

    In a report updated in late November, the CDC reiterated that multiple studies have shown that widespread use of cloth masks controls the spread of COVID-19.

    “Each analysis demonstrated that, following directives from organizational and political leadership for universal masking, new infections fell significantly,” the CDC said.

    If that is true, perhaps someone would like to explain to me why each day brings an alarming spike in cases, et c.

    “Studies show”

    “Experts say”

    “Analysis reveals”

    According to my model, my model is correct. OBEY.

    • rhywun

      They could also try to explain why the packaging on the outside of cloth masks states the exact opposite.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I’m sure the FDA would give them a pass if the packaging said otherwise.

    • creech

      I thought claims like those are supposed to be preceded in the media with words such as “false” ” unproven” and “unsubstantiated.”

    • KOVIDKristen

      *best

      Dammit

    • EvilSheldon

      Did he really do that? Did he seriously just spray a bunch of sheets of paper with Lysol? Please, please tell me I’m hallucinating or that it was artist’s lacquer or something…

      • Gustave Lytton

        Trying to kill the scent of the steaming pile of shit he just signed.

      • EvilSheldon

        Nothing that Donald Trump has ever done in his life, including Celebrity Apprentice and the pro wrestling appearances, has been as clownshoes as that display. Sweet drunken Enkidu…

    • Jerms

      That was good. I know a lot of people i would like to force clockwork orange stlye to watch that

  35. Animal

    I’m sorry, Colorado.

    Yeah, past time to get the hell out.

  36. Professional Beach Bum

    I mentioned a few months ago that I took in my father who had stage 5 Parkinson’s. He was totally bedridden by the start of November, and the dementia hallucinations were bad. 13 November he had a heart attack and a stroke with bleeding in the right occipital lobe at the parietal junction, right at midline.

    He was discharged to home hospice on the 17th, and died at 2000 hrs on November 25. Wife and I slept for 2 days, the kids helped cook on Fri.

    In other news, at the same time, we found a place down by San Marcos on an acre with an all-steel 2 bay door insulated workshop that has electric and water already running. Need to get a crossbow for the feral hogs.

    • Professional Beach Bum

      We close on the 15th. Wife will be working another 10 years in the lab to pay for the cement pond she wants. We are 2 miles from the San Marcos River, I’m good with a raft and a couple of kayaks.

      This place and all of you miscreants have kept me (in)sane through this whole ordeal. You all have my gratitude and thanks.

      • Professional Beach Bum

        Thanks everyone. Since he was on the trans-lunar orbital trajectory team for all of the Apollo moon missions (and Apollo-Soyuz/Skylab), going to mix some of his ashes into the telescope pier at the new place.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      My condolences

      • Professional Beach Bum

        Thank you Mr Solo!

    • KOVIDKristen

      So sorry about your dad

      • Old Man With Candy

        +2

    • KSuellington

      Sorry for your loss.

      Congrats on your new place, sounds awesome.

    • Gustave Lytton

      I’m sorry. That’s a hell of a rollercoaster to ride.

    • Tulip

      Sorry about your dad

    • DEG

      Sorry.

  37. The Late P Brooks

    In other news, at the same time, we found a place down by San Marcos on an acre with an all-steel 2 bay door insulated workshop that has electric and water already running. Need to get a crossbow for the feral hogs.

    Sounds like things are turning around, a bit. Good luck.

    • EvilSheldon

      Problem #1 – Mummy is 41, daughter is 22.

      I’m not saying that if you have a kid prior to your mid-twenties that you might as well just hand them over to the porn industry to raise. But I’m not not saying it, either.

      • Threedoor

        Fun fact. My wife went to school with a slag that banged Ron Jeremy. But who hasent right?

  38. prolefeed

    The defense of the CCTV showing the manufactured ballots in Atlanta being rolled out from under a draped table, to be counted after the poll watchers were sent home:

    “I swear, baby, it’s not what it looks like! She was just modeling some lingerie for me that I was gonna buy for you, and I accidentally tripped and my dick accidentally fell inside her vagina! I pinky swear, baby!”

  39. The Late P Brooks

    Splitters! CHEATS!

    Two weeks after beating COVID-19, Thierry Salamin huffs as his ski boots crunch through Swiss snow near the Matterhorn peak, readying for a downhill run with his mood as bright as his blue and fluorescent yellow ski getup and the sun overhead.

    The 31-year-old real estate agent from the southwestern Swiss region of Wallis can’t believe he is skiing during a pandemic, let alone one that he personally endured — and which has driven a wedge between his country and its Alpine neighbors over where people can ski, and where they can’t.

    While the coronavirus resurgence has led Austria, France, and Italy to shut or severely restrict access to their ski stations this holiday season, Switzerland has kept its slopes open — a move that has fanned grumbling about an unlevel playing field when it comes to Alpine fun.

    “It’s true, we’re privileged,” said Salamin, enthusing about the “paradise” of the Zermatt slopes and gesturing over the ridgeline toward Italy. “It’s too bad that people can’t go skiing on the Italian side, because those slopes are magnificent.”

    The discord among countries during the worst pandemic in a century cuts across issues of health, business, economy, culture and wellbeing. But it also violates one of the key tenets that the World Health Organization promotes to help fight COVID-19: solidarity.

    Those damned Swiss. What makes them think they can opt out of the most crucial battle in the history of human existence?

    • Q Continuum

      “solidarity”

      I. Fucking. Hate. That. Word.

      • KSuellington

        Every time I hear it it reminds me of the horrors of communism. It’s kinda like when “Imagine” comes on the radio, I can’t turn it off fast enough.

      • juris imprudent

        That word is worse than “unity” for invoking thoughts of “stop resisting”.

    • rhywun

      The 31-year-old real estate agent from the southwestern Swiss region of Wallis can’t believe he is skiing during a pandemic, let alone one that he personally endured

      With a survival rate of like 98% at his age, goodness what a miracle. He should be ashamed of enjoying himself after that struggle.

      • C. Anacreon

        I think you mean 99.98% survival at his age, and essentially, for someone that age healthy enough to ski, it’s a risk of zero.

  40. The Late P Brooks

    “Tourism is our only income, it’s our life,” said Zermatt mayor Romy Biner-Hauser in an interview.

    “Nobody wants to be a hotspot, nobody wants to be a super spreader,” she said. “Where is the difference (between) doing outdoor activity … (in) the sun, the fresh air, mountains, versus a shopping mall in a big city? And nobody has given me that answer so far.”

    You don’t seriously expect logic or rationality, do you, Shirley?

  41. trshmnstr the terrible

    Lol, 3 year olds… Mine was melting down as I was heading out the door to pick up chickfila because she didn’t want to go and she was convinced I was taking her imaginary friend with me. ?

  42. The Late P Brooks

    Oh, ye of little faith

    As Cadillac gears up to become a manufacturer of electric vehicles, it’s reached a point where it needs to start preparing its dealer network for the change. This means lots of costly and mandatory upgrades to their facilities for franchised dealers unless GM gives them a way out of their franchise agreements.

    According to a report published Friday by the Wall Street Journal, that’s precisely what GM is doing. Specifically, GM is giving Cadillac dealers a choice between giving up their ability to sell any Cadillac and taking a buyout or investing hundreds of thousands of dollars into an uncertain future.

    ——-

    “The future dealer requirements are a logical and necessary next step on our path towards electrification,” said Rory Harvey, global brand chief for Cadillac, in a statement. “Those who aren’t ready to make that commitment are getting fair compensation for exiting the brand.”

    The trepidation from the dealer network is understandable when you look at the changes in the auto industry as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic and with the public’s relatively slow adoption of electric vehicles. Add in Cadillac’s unproven record with EVs, and that leaves a lot of room for things to go wrong.

    Maybe those dealers know their customers better than the technowizards at Cadillac’s New York HQ.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Excuse to trim down their dealer network. Both for the short term and when they decide to start selling direct a la Tesla.

      • juris imprudent

        Isn’t the car sales model enshrined in a number of state laws across the country. You can’t violate the law just to sell something!

      • Gustave Lytton

        Less dealers means less opposition to changing those laws.

      • prolefeed

        “Relatively slow adoption of electric vehicles”?

        For Cadillac, 99.85% of their sales are for non-EV cars. And their sales have cratered because Tesla is eating their lunch.

        So, unless “relatively slow” now means “extremely slow”, not so much.