About The Author

CPRM

CPRM

Organic troll farmer.

162 Comments

  1. KOVIDKristen

    Awww…I feel the Christmas cheer! Hat bless us all, every one!

    • Plisade

      Happy Fez tivus!

      • KOVIDKristen

        + *narrows gaze*
        +I see what you did there
        +High five!

      • Plisade

        ✋?

      • UnCivilServant

        I can’t tell meaning with these modern pictographs. Or is that a rebus?

        Are you saying “talk to the hand” or “stop in the name of love”?

        /looks up from old book of cultural references.

      • Plisade

        It’s *supposed* to be a high five back at KK…

      • Mojeaux

        I usually use ^5, but I don’t think anybody gets it.

      • Gustave Lytton

        This ? for me always looks like a high five.

      • But Enough About My "Essential Retiree" Status

        This ? for me always looks like a high five.

        I’ve always seen that emoji as either a supplicant, someone praying or someone saying “Namaste.”

    • ElspethFlashman

      I have some grievances !

      • Suthenboy

        We all wish we were born rich, taller, smarter and better looking. Turns out, we have to settle for coffee and good conversation.

      • Fourscore

        Multiple choice, right?

    • Gustave Lytton

      Me too!

      I’m going to miss H&H…

      • DEG

        I’m going to miss H&H…

        Same.

      • Suthenboy

        Dont worry. Biden-Harris will offer much richer material

        That is until section 230 gets inverted and we are all tossed into camps for wrongthink.

      • Gustave Lytton

        This one time in wrongthing camp…

      • Hyperion

        I expect it will be brutal and savage.

    • DEG

      Merry Christmas!

      Why Saint Nick is jolly.

      The storm going through the US is supposed to hit here overnight with wind gusts in the 50-60 MPH range. We’ll see if I have power tomorrow.

      • rhywun

        With highs in upper 50s.

        Praise Jesus for global warming.

      • Gustave Lytton

        *looks at thermometer stuck at 32F and mutters*

      • Hyperion

        I’m sort of bummed. I was really hoping for the snow blizzard that is raging across the Midwest to arrive here, but alas, it is too balmy here, so rain. My wife was so excited she thought it was going to snow, I feel bad. Global warming strikes again.

  2. Scruffy Nerfherder

    “Or Vice President, whatever the fuck his name is…”

    Nice

    • R C Dean

      Pants? Something like that.

      • hayeksplosives

        I like the fact that the lefties loved to ridicule Pence for his no-alone-time policy with women, right up until #metoo, whereupon the policy proved wise for a politician (or for any dude who needs a clean reputation).

  3. ElspethFlashman

    What’s the new iteration going to be for Ridin with Biden ? “Hair” might still be appropriate. . .

    • zwak

      Plugz?

      • zwak

        Oooh, they could be like minions, thousands of them making mischief.

        They could be Legion!

    • Hyperion

      The Hat and the Ho?

  4. DEG

    Santa Christ, Velvet Elvis, and Mithras.

    Nice!

  5. Gustave Lytton

    Well, Amazon once again demonstrates why they dominate. Stupid postal service fucks up delivery and probably got the package stolen. Amazon is shipping out a replacement, no questions. Won’t be here in time to go under the tree but it’ll arrive Monday.

    • Gustave Lytton

      I did get my latest batch of 80’s aidoru CDs.

    • Suthenboy

      If we are going to amend the constitution the first order of business is to get rid of the Postal Service.

    • prolefeed

      #2 looks almost identical to my wife’s niece.

    • mikey

      I love the mask, but I read the comments – it’s like most of the people don’t even get it. They complained about the loose fit and one person even said they wore a second mask undernieth it. We are truly doomed.

      • grrizzly

        I assumed that most (all) of the comments were about other mask designs.

      • mikey

        Probably. I was looking for some good snark and was disappointed.

    • grrizzly

      I might order it.

  6. Sean

    Amen!

    *applause*

    So we got home last night. I’ve been trying to catch up. Y’all talk a lot.

    @PM – great woodworking article.

    @NA – that mag mix up was my fault, not yours. And there was no harm done.

  7. Gender Traitor

    “…O Crucified Rabbit…”

    Literal LOL

    In OT news, I got off work at noon. One of my sisters informed me this morning that she tested positive for the ‘VID, so our Christmas get-together (at our place) is on hold. Maybe around Orthodox Christmas. Or Twelfth Night. Or MLK Day. Don’t make me no never mind.

    • Sean

      She’s not high risk, is she?

      • Gender Traitor

        No – no underlying health issues that I know of. Our other sister – the oldest – is diabetic. Is that a known risk factor?

        ‘VID sister says she feels as if she has a cold, and I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s what she really has.

      • Sean

        I’m pretty sure it’s one of the more common comorbidities.

      • DEG

        I think so too.

        Gender Traitor, hopefully your sisters gets well soon.

      • Gender Traitor

        Thanks, DEG!

      • Sean

        Didn’t mean to leave that hanging like that.

        I’m sure she’ll be fine very soon, like almost everyone else not already very old or super frail.

    • Gender Traitor

      Beautiful! But needs a gun for scale. ; )

      • Sean

        We just got back a lil bit ago from picking up her Xmas AR lower. ?

      • hayeksplosives

        Damn! Someone’s been a good girl!

      • R C Dean

        Or a very naughty girl, indeed. ?

    • KOVIDKristen

      Pretty!

    • DEG

      Very nice!

    • Nephilium

      I’ve been thinking this song is the appropriate one for this year’s Christmas.

      It sure doesn’t feel like Christmas time

  8. hayeksplosives

    I’ve got a few things under the tree. We pretty much agreed not to buy “ real” presents since we buy various items throughout the year.

    I typically squirrel away stocking stuffer items months in advance when I see something out shopping or online. This year, not so much. Didn’t get out often.

    So that’s a drag. Hopefully the few items under the tree will be worth a laugh or two. Items that didn’t arrive yet will be gifted on the January birthday of the Mr Splosives.

    • Sean

      I’ve been indecisive about anything I would want or need. Driving my poor gf nuts in the process, still haven’t found anything. Guess I’ll be getting gifts after xmas.

    • Ownbestenemy

      We have a light Christmas this year. I got my wife some yoga book by some German chick she follows, she got me some bourbon. Kids got socks and pillows and sheets.

      She wanted a trip to Bora Bora and I wanted a meat slicer and grinder. Just wasnt in the cards this year.

      • R C Dean

        I’ve been giving Mrs. Dean her gifts as they arrive, so tomorrow will be a little sparse.

  9. KOVIDKristen

    What in tarnation kind of scam is this? I have an actual physical copy of my permit, which I got, like, a year ago. I’m thinking phasing. Or tinfoil hat stuff.

    https://pasteboard.co/JGrBJ4B.jpg

    • KOVIDKristen

      *phishing

      • Ownbestenemy

        Absolutely a scam on my radar

      • Nephilium

        You could tin that and sell it to the Hawaiians.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I chuckled and then suddenly wanted eggs and rice.

      • Sean

        *nods in agreement*

      • hayeksplosives

        No clickky, KK! No!

    • R C Dean

      That’s nice. Now, who matters? The ones who cast the votes, or the ones that count them?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        You’re harshing my mellow, bro.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Pretty suspicious, huh?

  10. Gustave Lytton

    Decent 80% lowers and pistol braces? in stock? Jigs? Going on a list anyways. Holding off on drilling the third hole.

    • R C Dean

      “Holding off on drilling the third hole.”

      Dude . . .

      • Sean

        Legit LOL.

      • R C Dean

        Low hanging. . . oh, never mind.

      • Mojeaux

        We haven’t done phrasing in years.

  11. Mojeaux

    Teenagers are hard to buy for. Plus, this is likely going to be the last Christmas XX will have living here. This makes me sad.

    • kinnath

      You’ll survive.

      It takes a while to get used to it.

    • R C Dean

      A fifth of good tequila would probably go over well.

      • But Enough About My "Essential Retiree" Status

        A fifth of good shitty tequila would probably go over well.

        FTFY — these are teenagers we’re talking about, after all . . .

    • Nephilium

      Most adults aren’t easy to shop for either. My nephews weren’t easy this year either, as I saw them for about an hour all year, and my sister provided no details as to what they were asking for.

      • Mojeaux

        You’re right. No idea what to get my mom.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Ugh we didn’t do parental gifts this year. I feel bad.

      • Nephilium

        I had ordered a Sowell book for my dad (he’s pretty easy to shop for), neither me or my sister have any idea what to get our mom. Usually I would get them a gift certificate for a good dinner… which doesn’t really work well this year.

      • Mojeaux

        I WANT to get her a massage, but she can’t get up on a table. I mentioned a head, neck, shoulder, arm massage so a table is not involved, but she didn’t seem enthused.

        I’m pretty sure she’d like it if she got one, though.

        Bad part: Her birthday is New Year’s Eve.

      • Ted S.

        I get my dad a box of wine for every gift occasion.

      • Raven Nation

        We bought my MIL an espresso machine.

        The fact that we are living with them more often because of Covid had nothing to do with it!. I’m shocked, shocked, that you would even think that.

      • Sean

        Amazon wishlist or they get a shakeweight.

        Sister thought I was bluffing one year. She got a shakeweight (and a second gift).

        I will occasionally go off-list, but it’s good to have options.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Yep. Brothers had 2 weeks to tell me what thru wanted… Radio silence means Amazon gift cards

    • Tulip

      Dishes for when she moves out?

      • Mojeaux

        I’mma save stuff like that for moving day because the thing I needed most when I moved out was a vacuum cleaner. No idea what she’ll want/need.

        Also, I am oraying she can get an affordable studio or one-bedroom. I would hate for her to have roommates.

      • Sean

        Vintage Correlle. ?

    • Hyperion

      “Teenagers are hard to buy for.”

      Not the boys, they’ll all accept an internet hooker and a beer.

  12. Tulip

    We all chipped in to get my mom a new computer, so I just sent almonds. I only buy for my sister and brother. Books for him tea and gift card for her.

  13. Hyperion

    Happy Christmas Eve, wokesters!

  14. Hyperion

    Hey, Animal, if you’re around today, I think I found a new candidate for your toxic masculinity series. Dude’s name was Mad Jack Churchill.

    • EvilSheldon

      Good choice!

      I’ll give the limeys this – when one of them gets a nickname like ‘Mad Jack’, you can guarantee that he’ll be absolutely fucking insane.

  15. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Alex Berenson (a former NYT reporter) on the COVID measures overreaction on the Joe Rogan podcast:

    https://youtu.be/D-59f2EBCUA

    There are a couple of other short clips available with him if you go to the channel but the only thing that struck me as revelatory in any of them is that people are apparently finding the information in them revelatory or controversial. Are people really unaware of this stuff?

    • Hyperion

      Has their been mass sightings of politicians and bureaucrats hanging from lampposts recently? If not, there’s been no overreaction, yet.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        He’s saying the measures themselves are an overreaction (a reasonable former NYT guy) but point taken.

      • Hyperion

        Every overreaction has to have an equal and opposite overreaction. It’s the law of liberty.

      • Gender Traitor

        If not, there’s been no overreaction, appropriate reaction yet.

      • Hyperion

        True, but I’m feeling it’s past time for some overreaction. Maybe make it a national feature, that heads of past tyrants are on the front lawns of every government agency, on pikes, as a reminder? Maybe some creative mulching device events?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      *looks at photo*
      Guilty!

  16. Nephilium

    *sigh*

    Sister just came over (with her kids and husband in the car) to drop off (and pick up presents) and was the only one to come in the house, and was wearing a mask.

    /goes to get a beer

    • Gender Traitor

      In light of middle sister’s positive ‘VID test, oldest sister suggested a “drive-by” to exchange gifts. I’d rather wait, even if it’s a couple of weeks, until middle sister is better and everyone feels safer being together. In our case, though, no kids are involved.

      • Mojeaux

        Sorry to hear about your sister, GT. ?

    • Tres Cool

      Im going to see Tres Sr. tomorrow. I calmly explained to him on the phone that I appreciate his concerns over the ‘vid, but I havent seen him since March, and if Im the asymptomatic asshole that kills him on Christmas, so be it. 81 years is long enough anyhow.

      • Mojeaux

        Good for you.

        I’m not sure why elderly folks would rather not enjoy the rest of their lives if they already believe they’re going to die from COVID. They’re old. They ARE going to die. Why waste it staying alone and cut off, i stead of spending it with their families and having a good time?

      • Tres Cool

        He’s generally always been antisocial, bordering on str8 misanthropy. I’m pretty sure that he understands that the risks are negligible at best, and is using covid as an avenue to tell people to stay away. He’s likely smiling inside each time he has an excuse to avoid a gathering, get-together, or party.

      • Gustave Lytton

        My wife’s excuse for avoiding her in-laws this year.

      • Mojeaux

        That’s a different animal altogether.

      • Tres Cool

        Oh, he’s something else.

      • robc

        Sign from nursing home protest:

        I would rather die of covid than lonliness.

    • DEG

      was wearing a mask.

      Urgh.

      I noted the wives of the across-the-street neighbors were outside, standing ten feet apart, talking to each other. Both were wearing masks.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I bet they were wearing clothes too, those sick fucks.

      • DEG

        They were.

  17. R C Dean

    Visited the brew pub for a growler fill. Between the new waitress and the holiday foot traffic, I must agree the Yoga pants are, in fact, proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

    • Tres Cool

      Word, yo.

      Specially in my flavor.

    • DEG

      I was going to get some dinner at one of the local brewpubs tonight. I didn’t check to see if they’re open regular hours today.

      Today I received the replacement tank for the toilet I broke while trying to fix the toilet. I thought to myself, “You should check their hours before tackling this job. Nah… it’ll be fine.”

      😉

      I successfully fixed the toilet. It works great. In the middle of cleaning up, I checked on the brewpub’s hours. They had just closed the kitchen, and the bar area will close soon. Yep. Something had to go wrong.

      RE: Yoga pants: I saw this written on the men’s room wall of a bar in the central PA:

      “Yoga pants are proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”
      “No they aren’t. If I wore yoga pants, you wouldn’t be happy.”
      “Thanks Obama!”

      • Tres Cool

        “I successfully fixed the toilet. It works great.”

        Have you given it the Chipotle test ?

      • DEG

        No. I haven’t had Chipotle in ages. I haven’t been there since the lockdown stupidity. The local ones have also been stupid strict about masks.

        Interestingly…. Chipotle never caused my digestive tract trouble.

  18. Mojeaux

    I hate CVS with a passion. They just lost a paper rx for a scheduled drug for XY and we can’t get another one (thanks, WoD!), so he’ll be out one month’s worth of his medication if they can’t find it.

  19. The Late P Brooks

    DEATH rides a tractor

    Eight days out from Christmas, Iowa Gov. Kim Reynolds delivered what she hoped was a gift to her beleaguered state’s small businesses: new, looser COVID-19 restrictions. But medical experts tell The Daily Beast it’s a present many Iowans will soon find themselves desperately wanting—and unable—to return after the holiday season.

    ——-

    At a press conference Tuesday morning, Reynolds boasted that her state “continues to experience a decline” in cases and hospitalizations, particularly relative to November, when Iowa suffered its deadliest month yet and its medical system appeared on the brink of collapse.

    But data from Johns Hopkins University and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention point to a different and alarming trend. The national tracking system the former has operated since the early days of the pandemic shows that Iowa is among just 11 states that saw a spike in the number of infections over the past week—and the only one in the Midwest—and a positivity rate exceeded only by Pennsylvania, Idaho, and Alabama.

    Meanwhile, federal figures show that in the seven-day period ending Dec. 21, Iowa lost 376 people to the disease, tying it with the Dakotas for the worst mortality rate relative to population in the entire country.

    In this context, Reynolds’ move to scale back restrictions has in-state medical professionals scared.

    “It’s not like our number of cases are down a lot. They’re down a bit, but not down substantially,” said Dr. Stanley Perlman, chair in Virology at the University of Iowa Carver College of Medicine and a career expert on coronaviruses. “I think all the data show it’s probably going to be a problem. The number of cases is likely to go up after the holiday.”

    Thousands will DIE! Bodies heaped along the roadside, awaiting crude disposal in mass graves by weeping orfinks.

    SCIENCE declares it so.

    • Raven Nation

      Serious question: what’s the difference between an infection rate and a positivity rate?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Positivity rate is the percentage of tests, infection rate is the percentage of a given population.

      • Raven Nation

        Got it. So neither of them alone would give a precise measure of the % of the total population that was positive?

      • Gustave Lytton

        I would think infection rate would give that, although it would probably exclude those who have had it and recovered.

      • Gustave Lytton

        On second thought, infection rate isn’t the same as the percentage who are currently positive or currently infectious.

  20. Gender Traitor

    I love this arrangement of “I Saw Three Ships” – completely different rhythm and slightly different melody.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Perlman’s colleague at the University of Iowa, epidemiologist Dr. Eli Perencevich, sounded even more dire.

    “It’s going to be really hard the next few months. A lot of people are going to die,” said Perencevich, who serves as associate chair for Clinical and Health Services Research.

    Like Perlman, Perencevich empathized with the plight of struggling small entrepreneurs. But he argued the state should leave nonessential businesses closed until the mortality rate has come down to zero, and subsidize them out of the state’s massive annual budget surpluses. Meanwhile, he urged the governor to make the state’s mask mandate “absolute.”

    Shut up, crybabies. This is just a minor inconvenience to me.

    Suck it up.

    • slumbrew

      until the mortality rate has come down to zero

      So, never.

      • limey

        Hahahaha.

        “Until we have conquered death itself, at which point we can sterilize most of the population so they do not colonize Gaia with filthy spawn, and our stable, immortal population can live in beautiful, progressive, intersectionally and environmentally balanced utopia.”

      • Suthenboy

        And raise grain?

      • But Enough About My "Essential Retiree" Status

        Hopefully they’ll also get the gift of the gun.

    • Derpetologist

      related

      https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2020/11/03/929555568/coronavirus-faqs-are-3-masks-better-than-1-will-mouthwash-keep-you-safe

      ***
      You might have wondered that too if you were watching Monday Night Football last month and saw New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick wearing two masks after his quarterback Cam Newton tested positive for COVID-19.

      Well, let’s think about that. Masks block contagious droplets that an infected person breathes out. They also offer a measure of protection for a wearer who’s not infected.

      So yes, in theory, two is better than one and three is even better, says biosecurity expert Raina MacIntyre, who researches mask effectiveness at the University of New South Wales in Sydney.

      But there are pitfalls to piling on masks. You may be more tempted to fiddle with the additional mask, and that’s a bad idea if you’re in a place where other people have been hanging out and possibly spreading contagious droplets. You might touch a contaminated surface, then bring the viral particles to your mask.

      And while a second (or third) mask will create a more effective barrier for outgoing and incoming particles, it will also make it harder to breathe in the air you need.
      ***

      [head desk]

      • Gustave Lytton

        *pumps arms to shoulders*

        “GAS! GAS! GAS!”

        *collapses in laughter as Sgt Derpy puts promask over face covering*

      • Derpetologist

        [panics, “why won’t it seal?!”]

        [thinking quickly, seals pro-mask and ties bandana over mask]

        You laugh, but that’s probably happened already. Yet another reason not to re-enlist. Arguments about mask uniformity. I’ve been using a woodland camo bandana when in uniform. It’s easier to put on and take off than the approved gator neck.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I laugh because similar did happen to me. I used to wear ranger glasses in the field, which supposedly were acceptable and would seal effectively. Anyways, one day was getting leak tested and donned my mask. Except I was wearing regular metal framed glasses and of course wouldn’t seal at all.

  22. The Late P Brooks

    Reynolds’ current policies, he argued, will yield few short-term benefits—and a lot of long-term suffering for business owners and consumers alike.

    “The things she’s loosened up aren’t going to really help the economy, and it’s going to lead to more cases, which is going to hurt the economy,” he said. “We should restrict things until we don’t have people dying.”

    I would not object to this person being garroted in the town square at High Noon. With all the other public safety experts in attendance.

    As an inspiration to be fastidious in their scholarship and policy recommendations.

  23. Tres Cool

    Here @ Chez Tres, its just not Christmas without some RUN-DMC.

    Or the Godfather

  24. Derpetologist

    xmas and bible etymology fun

    Ebeneezer is garbled from eben ha-ezer, meaning stone of help. Makes sense. Scrooge was THE rock.

    Gilead means joy eternal. Hell of a name for a sexist dystopia.

    Shiloh could be translated as Pleasantville. According to Calvin’s dad, the world was black and white until the 1930s, so this checks out.

    Beelzebub is garbled from Baal ha-zavuv, meaning Lord of the Flies. Baal in ancient Semitic languages meant lord, master, or a god.

    The famous Carthaginian general Hannibal Barca’s name means Grace of Baal, [the] Lightning [bolt]

    The Hebrew form of Barca is Barak, who was a general in the Old Testament. In modern Arabic, Buriq means lightning. Burq’a is the ninja outfit (last letter is an ‘ayn, the first letter in the Arabic word for Arabic)

    from a letter circa 1770 BC

    ***
    “There is no king who can be mighty alone. Ten or fifteen kings follow Hammurabi the man of Babylon; as many follow Rim-Sin the man of Larsa, Ibal-pi-El the man of Eshnunna, and Amut-pi-El the man of Qatna and twenty kings follow Yarim-Lim the man of Yamhad.”
    ***

    If there are any more questions, please visit during my office hours.

    relevant Indiana Jones scene

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=joqX0_llyWE

  25. limey

    I’m out of TP at 8:30pm on St. Dr. Fauci’s Day aka Faucimas. I have a box of tissues. That’ll do. I don’t know what “tier” I’m in and I don’t care. I’m also out of beer. I care about that very much. Not smart.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Don’t flush them!

      Sorry to hear that, guv.

  26. Yusef drives a Kia

    I’m late, but,
    That Was EPIC!
    well Done Sir!

  27. The Late P Brooks

    Journalism

    California has had some of the toughest restrictions in the country to combat the coronavirus, from a complete ban on restaurant dining to travel quarantines and indoor gym closures.

    It hasn’t been enough.

    America’s most populous state has become one of the nation’s worst epicenters for the disease, setting new records for cases, hospitalizations and deaths almost every day. Things are so bad in Southern California that some patients are being treated in hospital tents, while doctors have begun discussing whether they need to ration care.

    The turnabout has confounded leaders and health experts. They can point to any number of reasons that contributed to California’s surge over the past several weeks. But it is hard to pinpoint one single factor — and equally hard to find a silver bullet.

    ——-

    At more than 100 new daily cases per 100,000 residents, California’s case rate is second only to that in Tennessee, according to the nonprofit tracking site Covid Act Now — though it’s a state that does not mandate mask wearing and allows indoor gatherings of up to 10 people. The website Covid Exit Strategy shows a 97 percent rise in Covid throughout California, which has gone in the opposite direction from its West Coast counterparts, Oregon and Washington.

    ——-

    California, with nearly 40 million residents, is nearing 2 million cases and more than 22,000 deaths. By any calculation, California’s outbreak numbers are stunning. With rapid, logarithmic growth, the virus has become so prevalent it’s simply become easier to spread.

    ——-

    Rutherford doesn’t think the general population fully grasps the seriousness of the current surge. “People think they can negotiate with the virus,” he said. “Here’s a hint: They can’t.”

    Critics have questioned the science behind the regional lockdown orders. Public and industry pressure has already convinced state health officials to reopen playgrounds and relax limits on grocery store capacity. A Los Angeles trial court judge also said the county’s prohibition on outdoor dining was “arbitrary” and that there was insufficient evidence showing it was a source of virus spread.

    “Nationally, there has been a kaleidoscopic application of every imaginable type of lockdown order with California being the most restrictive and inflicting the most devastation on small businesses and the most economically vulnerable service workers. And still, we are none the better as far as COVID is concerned,” California Restaurant Association President and CEO Jot Condie said in a statement. “In fact in L.A. where indoor and outdoor dining are completely shut down, with indoor dining [closed] since July, the virus rages on.”

    What a disordered mess. It’s like listening to a drunk at a party blurting out whatever comes into his head. Random factoids and assertions, with no evident attempt to organize them into a coherent thesis.

    I think he e-mailed his story notes to Politico, and they transcribed them as delivered.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      ? Cue “Hearts and Flowers”. ?

    • Ted S.

      California has had some of the toughest restrictions in the country to combat the coronavirus, from a complete ban on restaurant dining to travel quarantines and indoor gym closures.

      It hasn’t been enough.

      Obviously the journalists need to be locked down.

    • rhywun

      the virus rages on

      Imagine that. You’d think there’d be a lesson in there somewhere.

      • Derpetologist

        “No, dig UP, stupid!”

  28. The Late P Brooks

    So yes, in theory, two is better than one and three is even better, says biosecurity expert Raina MacIntyre, who researches mask effectiveness at the University of New South Wales in Sydney.

    Just imagine how effective a trash bag, duct taped at the neck would be! Do it, Raina. Report back to us.

    • Derpetologist

      https://www.bbc.com/news/business-54916159

      Inventors design high-tech helmets for Covid protection

      ***
      His is called the BioVYZR, and the battery is said to last for up to 12 hours. The Canadian says that his business – VZYR Technologies – now has sales in the “tens of thousands” mark.

      US Navy veteran Chris Ehlinger, is another hazmat helmet creator.

      “These helmets in a sense psychologically prepare us for the future destiny of our species,” says the 35-year-old.
      ***

      Yay! We’re all gonna be astronauts!

      ***
      The above three helmets cost in the range of $149-$379 (ÂŁ113-ÂŁ288), but none has yet to receive certification. However, each of the three firms say they are nearing the final stages of the process.
      Michael Hall
      ***

      Why, they’re practically *giving* them away!

      ***
      Dr Pham is also concerned that the helmets could lead to a societal division. “It will create a split in society between those who can afford something that seemingly might protect them more, and those who cannot.

      “And with those who cannot being left feeling like, ‘Oh, am I being under-protected by wearing just a surgical mask?'”

      However, she does think that the helmets will sell well, as much for the confidence they give the wearer as the actual protection they offer. “After all, the pandemic has been first and foremost medical, but also psychological, absolutely.”
      ***

      “Mask wearers – use back door.”

    • slumbrew

      “In theory, we’re millionaires…”

  29. The Late P Brooks

    Dr Pham is also concerned that the helmets could lead to a societal division. “It will create a split in society between those who can afford something that seemingly might protect them more, and those who cannot.

    I never saw that coming.