We find the hat on the Resolute desk looking glum. Outside, the wind is making a sepulchral moan as it weaves through the nooks and crannies of the White House. We tighten to a close-up.
“Go away,” the hat says. “It’s almost Christmas and I’m depressed. I think I might be getting sick. I’m dizzy and I have a headache. Go bother Biden or Kamala or whoever.”
“Did your mammogram go OK?” Joe asked as he held her hands and looked into her muddy brown eyes.
“Or, or, or, was it an abortion?” He leaned in on the last word and whispered it. He knew he wasn’t supposed to say the A-word. Or the S-word. Or the N-word. Or the B-word. Or the C-word. Or the A-word.
“No, Mr. President-elect,” she said in a husky dark voice.
“You know, you ever need anything like that, my wife is a doctor, she can fix you right up,” Joe said quietly, leaning in again for a sniff of her hair. Speed Stick. And something else. Wig glue? Only Jill’s voice saying “NO!” and the memory of water spraying in his face kept him from licking her neck.
“Young women like you need Planned Parenthood the most,” Joe said. “Your, your, your, Pap Smears and boob checks, and with the cervix, the part that’s way up in there and stuff, And if you ever get pregnant, well, there’s stuff for that too. Aubergine? OBGYN? Something like that,” Joe said. He waved his hands vaguely at her chest and crotch.
“Thank you, Mr. President-elect,” she said tightly, clipping off her words.
“This is a baby oven place,” Joe said and beamed a smile at the cameras.
“I said GO AWAY!” the hat screamed. He poured a bottle of Jack Daniel’s over himself and staggered across the desk. He threw the bottle on the floor, and it bounced on the carpet with a dull thud.
“I SEE YOU!” the hat said, climbing a credenza. He left a slick trail of whiskey and hat vomit as he inched toward the mirror. “I SEE YOU!” he said to his reflection.
“Call for you, Madam Vice-President-elect,” the intercom said.
“DR. Madam Vice-President-elect,” Kamala said icily.
“Yes, ma’am,” the receptionist said.
“Dr. Ma’am Esquire,” Kamala replied, dropping her voice a few more degrees.“Yes, Dr. Ma’am Esquire,” the receptionist said meekly.
“Who’s on the phone?” Kamala demanded.
“I’m, I’m not sure, they hung up,” the receptionist said.
The hat lay beside the shattered mirror and sobbed.
Ahhhh…I see we’re “transitioning” in more ways than one
Only Jill’s voice saying “NO!” and the memory of water spraying in his face kept him from licking her neck.
Cracked me right the fuck up.
That tickled me too.
That and :
“I SEE YOU!” the hat said, climbing a credenza. He left a slick trail of whiskey and hat vomit as he inched toward the mirror. “I SEE YOU!” he said to his reflection.
We stand in the presence of artistic genius.
We stand in the presence of artistic genius.
We are truly not worthy.
Do you read SugarFree?
#metoo
I dont need a SF story this morning. All I had to do was look at the photo of Biden and that guy to puke a bit in my mouth. Goddammit.
What
the
FUCK?
I just love the spin I’m seeing on Trump’s objections to the porkzilla bill: “Trump throws wrench into Covid relief Bill” “Trump’s attack on virus relief bill could lead to shutdown” Etc. etc. As though Trump is objecting to the virus relief part of the bill out of pure vindictiveness.
They are saying those things as if they are bad? What a shock.
The corporate media doesn’t just have a bias, it has an agenda. They will decide what gets covered, how it gets covered, and most importantly what gets aggressively ignored. I’d bet my bottom dollar there’s pork in there for corporate media and affiliates.
Case in point: Trigger Warning: CNN.
Holy shit, I can only shake my head and laugh at that “analysis”. They don’t even pretend to be anything other than Democrat propagandists.
And yet they shit their pants when referred to as ‘fake news’.
Funny, how that old white guy Shakespeare had that reaction down with “the lady doth protest too much, methinks”.
“Trump’s attack on virus relief bill could lead to shutdown”
Trump hates the government. Everybody knows that.
And any shutdown, if it happens, will be filled with sob stories about the unmitigated tragedy of government employees having their paychecks delayed by a few weeks. With no mention of people who have had their businesses shut down and their jobs taken away for the better part of year now.
Fuck you! This isn’t an omnibus spending bill with coof spending tacked on! It’s coof money that EVERY MERICAN IS ENTITLED TO!
Frightening to realize quite a few people actually believe that.
And at Christmas time. Just monstrous.
My boss and a cow-orker were upset that Ron Johnson (R-My State) said this of this Omnibus bill, “We do not have an unlimited checking account.” That was stupid of him to say, they say, of course we have unlimited money! I was able to hold my tongue, but just barely. I fucking hate the world.
of course we have unlimited money!
A money printing machine in every pot!
You should ask him if the government has unlimited money, why do they need to collect taxes?
I did a ‘testing the waters’ about how the government saying there will be no 2020 taxes collected, that’s just insane!
‘well they’re just printing money’, No they aren’t, they’re issuing bonds. ‘No one wants to buy the bonds’ Everyone wants to own a piece of America. An excuse in every kettle…
QE Is printing money with extra steps. Selling bonds to yourself and then declaring that you have generated wealth doesn’t make it so.
I mean, it’s not wrong. They just hated him first.
Your Hat doesn’t have Christmas Spirit mine does. Which is cannon?! We’ll find out at the Royal Rumble, Brother!
+24 inch noggins
Since SF came up with the whole thing… Imma go with him. Besides, the more you spin off and away from canon, the more collectors will rush to buy issues of… er, watch your videos!
Is that a real pic or a shoop?
Real photo, real Planned Parenthood event, but it is from 2019.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2020/10/13/biden-champion-lesbian-gay-bisexual-transgender-americans-column/5969757002/
Holy shit, that’s Charlotte Clymer? I’ve read their derp before but had no idea!
Would you rather be an average looking guy or an ugly woman?
Since I am an average looking guy, I’ll stick with what I know.
Why the hell is it wearing shoulder pads?
Aren’t the shoulders large enough by comparison?
Hugging trannies is the new kissing babies, I guess.
Cushlamochree!!! That’s some authentic frontier jibberish right there.
Sure, if that middle ground is “Joe Biden is an old asshole.”
“the magic of Joe Biden is that everything he does becomes the new reasonable,
Brought to you by 40 years of in kind donations from TMITE
It’s all about appearances.
It’s amazing how shallow we’ve become.
no politician so deftly rises above partisan rancor
*prolonged laughter*
As far as they are concerned, partisanship refers to the factions of the Democratic Party. Anyone who’s not a Democrat is not a partisan, they’re a terrorist.
“…and brings people from their different camps…”
I’ll have to concentrate on that.
I’m sure you’ll feel quite free when you’ve worked it out.
I ‘member that one. (not that I’m old enough to have seen it first run, but being a Batman fan prior to 89, there wasn’t much for a young me to watch for the first 6 years if my life) As campy as that show was, that still fits in better with Get Smart.
So much this:
It’s truly the end of an era.
I didn’t expect the end of the Trump era to coincide with the end of the American Experiment though.
I think I’ll lie down next to the hat and sob.
Jutht wait til Febrary!
When Trump saying “Make America great again” caused endless wailing and gnashing of teeth that is exactly what you should have expected.
The Dentures and the Hearing Aid just doesn’t have the same ring, does it.
The Dentures and the Depends?
The Depends catch phrase should be “Awwwwwwww, crap!”
The Nose and the Brain.
The Finger and the Nose.
^Winner
If only “Sniffer” and “Queefer” rhymed.
I guess it should be expected as part of the Hats extradimensional nature, that he can see through the fourth wall.
I feel sorry for The Hat.
OTOH this puts the whole sorry mess in a perspective I can deal with.
Genius – we are truly blessed here.
I just received the following email on a thread on which I’m cc’d at work.
“Well unfortunately the teeth are stronger this time and we used a sufficient amount of lubricant.”
I snickered . You people have ruined me for polite society.
Wait, unfortunately?
+1 How much teeth do you want?
Yes unfortunately.
In a prior email, a project manager asked “Did any of the teeth break off this time or do I have to resist the urge to slap a certain mechanical engineer?”
No teeth broke, so no slapping.
Project manager has a disappoint.
Story of my life.
Not keeping up with news or Glibs but happy Festivus, KK et alia! https://mobile.twitter.com/randpaul
I need to find this on YouTube so I can play it on the big teevee.
Excellent.
Rand brings some home truths –
They didn’t pay the pot eaters, they paid the interviewer $3million to sit and listen.
It’s a fair cop – https://youtu.be/S09L_xDEcJ8
Rand, Ron, and Massie give me, George Bailey, reason to live. And my laughter from Adam Carolla saying Newsom should be replaced with a decoy owl probably added at least a week to my life.
Happy Festivus!
I got no problems with you people! (Elsewhere is another story.)
Many years ago at a company called IBM, a salesperson sold their analytic lab a standard containing many metals. Over time, specifications were written up and ISO documents created which codified their practices as The One True Way.
One day, their ICP-MS fell down and went boom. Panicking, they reached out to the company that had acquired them and asked for help in determining that their incoming material was up to specification. But there was a problem! Their new boss did not follow The One True Way! This is Unacceptable!
No motherfucker, you do NOT have a risk of gold contamination in your hydrogen peroxide, and I am not going to put forth the effort to prove it to you. I son’t care what your Quality department is saying.
You don’t have shipments of esoteric aurum?
If you can’t get free shipping on Amazon Prime, is it really even a thing?
…Something something…IBM sold to the Nazis…something something…that means they never did nuffin good ever…
And you’re concerned about thallium? Why? Do you have a lot of murder novelists on staff or something?
“But this is our spec! This is how it’s always been done!”
“This is how it’s always been done!”
“Why was it done that way?”
“Because it was how it’s done.”
Cargo cult processes abound.
“Well unfortunately the teeth are stronger this time and we used a sufficient amount of lubricant.”
Was the lubricant Brylcream?
Of course.
Madame Cunte Face?
Well, most attorneys use esquire as sort of a show of respect when writing other attorneys. There is a certain type that uses it on themselves. Like if I wrote a letter to to RC Dean, Esq. But I would never address myself as RBS, Esq.
-1 Bill S. Preston Esquire
I rarely address anyone by whatever official titles they hold. I treat everyone with a basic level of respect and that comes across in the way I interact with them. I usually ask them how they prefer to be addressed and if they respond with some official title my respect diminishes considerably.
I have been known to address people I have an extra level of respect for as ‘Doc’.
I had a professor in law school who had an LLM in some bullshit that would lose his mind when I called him Mr. instead of Dr. Naturally I never stopped calling him Mr.
I hate the “tradition” of calling someone out of office by their previous office tile. It’s a job description, not a patent of nobility. Da Coach Ditka exempted.
Dr. J as well. In fact, anyone who is called “Doctor” via nickname rather than some formal degree is allowed to keep it.
Man say him a ting, him a ting. https://youtu.be/BmxsNBCFwxs
I find that “Herr Fuckstick” suffices for most.
Referring to the Attorney General as General So & So, as though the office bestowed a military commission, always sends me into a sputtering, spittle-flecked rage.
That doesn’t even make sense. That’s not what the General in Attorney General means.
When the AG starts lining up his prosecutors and sending them to the frontlines to charge a machinegun nest, then it will make sense to you.
Technically “General” in the military sense is the shortened form of “Captain General”. They were in charge of the other captains.
I’ve finally learned why a major general is inferior to a lieutenant general.
When asked how they prefer to be addressed the most respectable and competent people usually respond with their first name.
That puts people at ease an interactions are more open and honest. Smart people understand that.
One of my new docs was taken aback when I asked, “How do you prefer to be addressed? FullFirstName, CommonNickname, or Dr LastName?”
He recovered quickly, though and replied, “CommonNickname.”
Can we all start calling you CommonNickname? I mean, shit, people do that to me all the time even though I do not ever refer to myself that way.
I know the feeling. I hate it when people leap to a nickname I don’t use. It is one of my pet peeves, so I will use whatever someone interoduces themselves as to address them.
Though I also have a habit of avoiding proper nouns.
#metoo
It used to bother me but doesn’t any more. And in fact friends and family have always used CommonNickname but I have a reason for using FullFirstName in other situations but it seems to turn a lot of people off for some reason.
Ha. My family doctor was always “Dr. CommonNickname”.
I expect students to address me by title (not first name), but no one else. That said, there are some admin people around my campus to whom I’ve said, “just call me Raven, but they say, nope, can’t do that, I’ll address you as Dr. Nation.” I’ve tried a few times to persuade them but, in the end, whatever they’re comfortable with.
I don’t think my students ever called me Dr. Candy. The group working for me now is forced to call me “Sir, Dr. Candy, Sir.”
I worked for a retired Marine Major General, and he told everyone to call him by his first name (Fred). There was one unctuous guy who worked with us who always called him “General Lastname”. I found it disrespectful that he would not call the guy by the name he told everyone to call him.
He said “call me Fred”, so maybe you should consider calling him Fred.
When I was working a criminal justice degree at a community college, the department head held a JD as his terminal degree. It was community college so Professor seemed inappropriate and the informality of calling the department head Firstname bothered me as an older student. I called him Dr Lastname.
The other one is a longtime sales engineer who held a PhD in physics or some other science field. Former professor that got lured into making big bucks. This was in a segment of the industry where many didn’t have college degrees and a HS diploma wasn’t a given. Everyone called him Dr DiminutiveFirstname and instantly knew who you were talking about. It was more of a nickname and mark of affection. Super nice guy and totally humble, treated all of his customers and customer employees with the highest respect. Never would have actually done “call me Dr Lastname”.
Hey, RBS is back!
I like lawyers, especially as I have yet to be on the pointy end of one.
I too like lawyers.
especially as I have yet to be on the pointy end of one
Things that my wife can’t say.
?
Oh, uh, never mind.
Seriously though, they’re fun.
I’m pretty sure the xe in the picture is Mittens, xe’s transitioned. Smittens? Wittens? Miffins? Someone else maybe give it a try.
I believe there are two options for the name of fingerless gloves:
“Mitts”, which I think is British for gloves without the pointy bits
“Gauntlets”, which may have a single large hole for the fingers, or have the pointy bits cut off.
Either would be appropriate for a post-transition Romney, it seems.
*#*(&^%*&#^!! barcode label printers
You don’t just feed an appropriately diced Avery sheet into a standard laser printer?
@Pie, You got screwed.
There’s some good ones in there:
What is more depressing is that people will either never see that, be told its a hoax or believe its for SCIENCE! No one cares about pork except a handful of people that probably wouldn’t fill a football stadium.
I heart Rand Paul.
I’m hoping he at least was able to skim a little off the “rural Romanians” till. If we have to throw this money away on foreigners, hopefully some of it at least falls in the hands of foreigners we like.
Poor Hat.
Aubergine? OBGYN? Something like that,”
How do you do it?
Amazing work and much-needed laughter today.
“Saturnalia-Rome’s Awesome Pagan Christmas”
https://youtu.be/V1K9enEfcC4
Drinking, acting the fool, and free prostitutes…what’s not to like?
The slavery and endless wars with Carthage?
They most certainly were NOT endless. They had a definite end…End of Carthage.
Let’s say, for the sake of argument, the “excess” deaths numbers are right. Will the media throw a big party when that number takes a big dip next year, due to the deaths pulled forward? You know, all those people who were pretty much mileaged out, but might have lived another 6/8/12 months had the chinee sniffles not pushed them over the brink?
They will throw a party because under President Biden, deaths miraculously plummeted.
I’m not sure they will drop. We could actually see a considerable ongoing death toll due to “deaths of despair” and delayed medical care. We could also see some population contraction going forward. If pregnancy rates drop and folks start to think this isn’t such a great place to emigrate to after all.
Suffice it to say, we’ve done some extremely bad things for our country’s future this year. One of these times we’re not gonna be able to wriggle out of it.
“folks start to think this isn’t such a great place to emigrate to after all.” well we are handing out money and bennies so that isn’t going to stop any time soon.
I don’t think so. This will still be a great place to migrate for the 10s of millions impoverished in Central America and all over the ME, Asia, and Africa, and they will pour int as the floodgates will be opened wide, while American citizens will be told to stay in their homes. So of course deaths are going to go way up, because when you go from a population of 300 million to a billion in a couple of years, that happens. Especially when all of those will be packed into cities like sardines in cans. Anyone else seen the Agenda 21 maps? They even have zones for minorities. Segregation is now equality. Up is down, wrong is right. Agenda 21 morphed into Agenda 2030 and then The Great Reset just like that. Lefties love to change words and terms a lot. That’s how they got from communist to liberal in 3-4 easy steps.
They will throw a party because under President Biden, deaths miraculously plummeted.
The dead shall rise.
There was a NuWho spinoff about that: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Torchwood:_Miracle_Day
Those all had the following elements in common:
1. Fantastic premise (in this case, people stop dying — hijinx ensue)
2. Complete inability to write an ending
3. Government malevolence as a central plot engine
4. Salvish obedience to said malevolent government is the only correct course of action.
I don’t find obedience to be much of a salve.
The dead shall
risevote Democrat!Muh beer is en route. 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS IS NIGH!
What beer would that be?
<— Beer Geek
Join the Zooms if you want to get lost in beer geek talk…
^^This
Evenings are tough to get time (3 kids), but I’ll definitely make an effort. Thanks!
They usually run well after chilluns’ bedtimes, unless you’re putting them to bed at, like, midnight
The older two usually outlast me by a considerable margin these days!
DAB and Carlsberg. Tall cans! Where’s Yusef?
From Dortmund to Denmark!
Slainte! Prost! and Cheers!
I’m already on the Euro tour. Just cracked a Carlsberg. It’s not too cold, damnit, but I put some in the freezer.
Cheers!
“He waved his hands vaguely at her chest and crotch.”
Relevant.
https://i.pinimg.com/736x/c3/8c/8f/c38c8fd82fa670fdfffefb3060d5a88c–male-to-female-transgender-mtf-transition.jpg
Toldjaso, toldjaso
Oregon Gov. Kate Brown said there is evidence that the state’s two-week freeze prevented a surge in COVID-19 cases and asked Oregonians to continue their preventative measures to stop the spread of the virus during news conference Tuesday morning.
“We didn’t see the spike in cases we feared, and as we saw following previous holidays,” Brown said. “While our case counts are still up, we are avoiding many worst-case scenarios.”
——-
Allen said Oregon’s new COVID-19 cases dropped by 11% last week and more than 7,000 Oregonians have received their first dose of a vaccine.
Kneel before SCIENCE.
OBEY.
Journalists and reports followed up with “Can you please provide all the data in which you came to that conclusion?” After a brief tense pause, a haughty laughter broke out as Kate Brown and the members of press pool retired to celebrate with shared communion.
“I HAVE HERE IN MY HAND A LIST OF 205 PIECES OF COVID EVIDENCE…”
That shemale is a real piece of work.
***
Clymer was raised in central Texas, after moving with her mother from Utah at a young age.[2] She joined the United States Army in 2005,[3] and later enrolled in the United States Military Academy.[2] She served in the 3rd U.S. Infantry Regiment (The Old Guard), based at Arlington National Cemetery, until 2012.[3] After leaving the Army, she moved to Washington, D.C. and took a job as a visitor services representative at the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum. After working there for a year, she enrolled at Georgetown University and finished her bachelor’s degree.[2]
In 2017, Clymer began working at the Human Rights Campaign,[2] the largest LGBTQ advocacy group and political lobbying organization in the United States.[4] In November 2017, she came out as a transgender woman.[2]
Clymer is an outspoken activist on issues including LGBTQ rights, feminism, and veterans’ affairs
…
In 2018, staff and later a manager at the D.C. restaurant Cuba Libre demanded Clymer provide an ID prior to using the restroom, incorrectly saying she was legally required to;[13] Clymer refused and provided a transcript of the D.C. Human Rights Act[14] which makes it illegal for public accommodations to discriminate based on gender identity.
***
What was once an Andy Kaufman prank is now a heroic act of civil disobedience. He truly belongs in the Jefferson memorial instead of that old white male slave owner.
Made it *all* the way to corporal. BTW, you have to be at least 5’11” to be part of the Old Guard. There are tons of broad-shouldered, lantern-jawed, 5’11” women, right? Right?
an antidote – world record lever rifle shooting by some fat neckbeard
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fG4wNhVaAfc
Since xe only made to corporal and made it out of the army without a degree, xe got kicked out of West Point?
There was a big cheating scandal at WP in 2007. 70 cadets got expelled. I would not be surprised if mighty hermaphrodite-y was involved.
Also, corporal is not a common rank in the Army. It means “you have to be an NCO to do this job, but you’re not sergeant material yet”.
Not that being a sergeant is a big deal. There are about 100k sham shields and 70k buck sergeants in the active component. It’s not that hard to be in the top 70%.
Yeah, I had a fraternity brother who had an officer rank in… National Guard? Army Reserves? When he failed out of college and tried to go full-time, the army wouldn’t give him that rank but would have made him enlist, He decided to go enlist in the Navy instead, washed out of that, and last I heard from him was some E-low number radio operator.
He was a rather complete fuckup.
Yes. There are a few people who don’t get that the Bachelors Degree is probably the hardest and fastest requirment the military has for becoming and officer. They end up not making the Officer rank, though typically they will give you an E-5 rank (so basically you end up being a non-com rather than commissioned officer).
It wasn’t that long ago that a bachelors degree was only a requirement for advancement to O-3. Minimum for commissioning was something like 90 quarter credit hours. Had a number of OCS and military junior college (NMI “newmies” and some other?) over the years working on finishing their 4 year degree so they could move up. I seem to recall there were a number of 1LTs getting stuck because they didn’t have the bachelors yet when that was being phased in.
Of course that was before AMU and the like. Now every master sgt has a graduate degree in military studies and cyber security.
My 1st Sgt. started his career as a draftee for Vietnam. He was functionally illiterate and always called his toady, the 1st platoon Plt.Sgt, over to read aloud anything that needed to be told to the unit. Good times…
We had a crusty old E8 who ran the commo shop for the Battalion. He was dual enlisted in the CA National Guard as a Major. He took great delight in showing up to our unit on his drill days to make sure the Battery Commanders got a chance to salute him.
I think you’re just jealous that you can’t use whichever bathroom you want.
TEN SHUT!
Be seated.
[appropriate music plays]
[pulls down map with arrows, extends telescopic pointer]
Today’s target will be Evergreen State College. Brochettaward, you will be first to breach the enemy’s defenses. You must reach the women’s studies dept and scatter the “there are only 2 genders” leaflets. Swissy, take the high ground and use your narrow gaze to keep a look out. Winston, you’re a consultant.
Everyone else, get in anyway you can and raise as much hell as you can until the cops show up.
All right you sons-a-bitches. You know how I feel. Make it happen.
TEN SHUT!
DISS-MIST!
Don’t tell me what to do.
Clymer is an outspoken activist on issues including LGBTQ rights, feminism, and veterans’ affairs
Only T rights. The transfolk seem to despise all the cis Ls and Gs, as seen by what they did to Martina Navratilova.
Clambering up the victim stack means you gotta climb over bodies. Do so proudly and without apologies – because you were more oppressed than they were!!
Cleverly eliding the part where ol chuck was accused of assault (or harassment, i forget which). Misogynist piece of shit who escaped consequences by tactical transition, and is now defended and feted as an “authority”.
Something for the Xmas spirit
Charles Monroe “Sparky” Schulz, creator of Snoopy and Charlie Brown, served as a leader for a .50 cal machine gun squad in the Army during WW2.
***
One well-known episode in his high school life was the rejection of his drawings by his high school yearbook, which he referred to in Peanuts years later, when he had Lucy ask Charlie Brown to sign a picture he drew of a horse, only to then say it was a prank.[8] A five-foot-tall statue of Snoopy was placed in the school’s main office 60 years later.[9]
***
***
In February 1943, Schulz’s mother Dena died after a long illness. At the time of her death, he had only recently been made aware that she suffered from cancer. Schulz had by all accounts been very close to his mother and her death had a significant effect on him.[10]
Around the same time, Schulz was drafted into the United States Army. He served as a staff sergeant with the 20th Armored Division in Europe during World War II, as a squad leader on a .50 caliber machine gun team. His unit saw combat only at the very end of the war. Schulz said he had only one opportunity to fire his machine gun but forgot to load it, and that the German soldier he could have fired at willingly surrendered. Years later, Schulz proudly spoke of his wartime service.[11]
***
History does not record whether the Germans held out a football for him to kick only to yank it away at the last moment.
When he was a private, his sergeant told him to throw a grenade into a German bunker. When he was about to throw the grenade, he saw a little dog run in the bunker. He didn’t want to kill the dog, so he didn’t throw the grenade. That dog became the basis for Snoopy.
He had to fight tooth and nail against network execs who wanted to omit the Bible references from the Charlie Brown Xmas Special, which is now the most viewed cartoon of all time.
Also, he proposed marriage to a red-haired girl, but she married a fireman instead. He skipped a grade and was always the shortest boy in his class. He struggled with depression for much of his life.
But in the end he was victorious. The Charlie Brown part of his life is what made him a hero.
Aw, Derpy. I’m getting verklempt.
When Chuck left for the Army, he hugged his mom, who said “this probably the last time I’ll see you”.
Life is not a movie. Bad guys win, people die, love does not conquer all.
Conquer your despair by facing it head on.
The linked image is the best way I can describe the experience of drinking Camo Black malt liquor. That stuff would make WC Fields into a teetotaler.
Dinner is served.
Charles Schulz may have had the best timing of death possible.
Christ on a cracker…once upon a time I thought I was a decent archer.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEG-ly9tQGk
Look at that assault bow! No one needs a bow that can shoot more than one arrow. Someone do something, common sense arrow control!
Man up and quit quivering in fear!
My top employee has just emailed me his final draft of a proposal, due Dec 30.
I just need to go proofread and incorporate comments now, and then I’m off work until Monday.
I’m staring at a slide deck for the ROI of a project trying to come up with what can be quantified with certain items upper management threw on there… and I’m not convinced there’s any actual savings to be realized from those elements. There are overall savings to be had, just not from the parts I’ve been asked to expand upon.
I also think I might be the ranking staff member from now until new years.
You’re in government. I thought they didn’t give a shit about ROI.
Moje, if you’re here, why does ephedrine take so damn long to kick in? Some irony there, one feels. Might as well take it at bedtime.
Interested to know what you were prescribed but just ignore me if you don’t wish to talk about it.
I never had a problem with it kicking in quickly. That said, I have not taken the new formulation.
I was rx’d Vyvanse, for ADHD.
Oh cool.
I like how it doesn’t affect my mood either way. Great tip, could kiss you.
???
I tested negative for that ailment, at great expense.
and I still owe you that parcel but it probably wouldn’t have helped.
I don’t remember you owing me a parcel, but my mind is so toasted I can’t remember my real name most days.
|Mojeaux on December 23, 2020 at 2:11 pm
|I don’t remember you owing me a parcel, but my mind is so toasted I can’t remember my real name most |days.
Heh. Come works nights with me. Im never sure what day it is, let alone where I am.
d00d, I pulled 50 graveyard hours a week my last year of college. I’ve done a couple of graveyard shifts since. AND I do not go to bed until 4:00 a.m. when I am on a writing jag. You NEVER get over working graves.
However, I did learn that each day has 24 hours. I used to love grocery shopping at 3:00 a.m. in the Before Times.
Working graves for 15+ years and rotating shifts before that has throughly inoculated its only 24 hours into me.
Some people I work with will whine and bitch when required to work after hours and do everything they can to do it in the middle of the day. Me, I’d rather come in at midnight than 4am. Not as much of a time crunch, no one around to second guess you, and if things go pear shaped, less people notice and it’s already fixed so nbd.
Used to make me chuckle when people would ask what I ate when I got off work. You can have breakfast for dinner and lunch for breakfast or whatever. Shocked faces as if cold cereal was the only option at 8 am. More shocked if I mentioned drinking a beer after work. But it’s not even noon yet!! So?
I hear a modified version of the Dr Science intro whenever the Dr Jill comes up.
“Remember, she’s not a real doctor.”
“I have a doctoral degree!”
“…in Education!”
I used to work with a jerkoff dickhead that would go around calling his wife Dr. all of the time, all fucking day. So, this morning, Dr [last name] did this, and yesterday Dr [last name] said to me, blah blah blah. Hell, for about a month, I thought she was a doctor. Then I found out she’s a music teacher. It didn’t make me hate that jackass any more, I already was at that point a day after meeting…. well, probably like 15 minutes after meeting him, truth be known.
I have more respect for Kentucky Colonels. At least one of them made great fried chicken. I went to a KFC in Cairo in 2010. The Arabic on the paper placemat made reference to the “khalitah siriyyah” – secret mixture of 11 herbs and spices. When I went for a camel ride, I noticed the driver kept saying something that sounded like huh-ross, huh-ross. 16 years later, I figured out he was saying khalas, meaning enough or that’s enough. First sentence I learned in Arabic was enta kazib – you liar. I found it useful in bargaining with Egyptian cab drivers and shady merchants.
I ate a KFC in Shanghai in 2007. They serve french fries instead of mashed potatoes there. Gravy is not a Chinese thing.
at a KFC, damn it!
You were so hungry for gravy you ate the whole restaurant, got it.
“I heard your dad went into a restaurant and ate everything in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant.”
-Ralph Wiggum the Unforgetable
+1 Mr. Creosote
+ bring me a bucket for me ‘fro-up
I went into a KFC in Tiananmen Square in the 90’s with what you could call urgent gastrointestinal need. I figured a KFC of all places would have a Western toilet with toilet paper. Boy, was I wrong. Turns out the public pay toilet (cost: $.01 approx) had a Western can that nobody was using. It was a glorious thing. It even had a door!
In the ’90s I was always aware where the closest McDonald’s was in Moscow.
The Burger King we stopped at in Kuwait when we first got there only had squat toilets in the back.
“When a man you’ve never met gives you chicken.” See :30 in. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8vNnH78odsk
I guess Nebraska Admirals are chopped liver?
I have more respect for Kentucky Colonels. At least one of them made great fried chicken.
There was a time when Col. Sanders wasn’t immediately recognizable
A couple of months back, we were following our church’s Sunday service on Zoom and there was some kind of problem with the feed. So the pastor’s wife promptly jumped on Facebook and told everyone that she’d let the church know and that “Pastor X” (her husband) was trying to get things resolved.
General hilarity ensued on FB culminating with one of the women in the church asking her if she called him “Pastor X” at home. It was all in good fun, but I think the point about titles was made.
Please tell me she’s married to Reverend X.
oh….the Reverend’s language is NSFW
my bad, brah
Life is not a movie. Bad guys win, people die, love does not conquer all.
‘The good ended happily, the bad unhappily. That is what fiction means.’
Love to see an Earnest reference.
Still feeling down? Here, take this glow stick and dance around while I flick the lights on and off to this song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-csvBJ2wf0
I know that song exists because I was friends with a lesbian couple in college. They lived on top of a lesbian bar (Weezy’s was the name I think). I drank their liquor, played their video games, told my stories, and played pool with them. One of them spent her childhood in Syria and taught me some Arabic. We were in the same classes in college.
Great first day of vacation. Parents on their way up, sipping a Stratosphere Alaskan IPA and playing Cyberpunk. Mrs. Q has to work from home and is as big as a house. This makes her grumpy along with the fact that she has become quite uncomfortable with back pain. I do what I can in the massage department but what I do is temporary.
Oh well, life is good.
I finished a playthrough of Cyberpunk. It was Only 73 Hours! Ripoff!
I haven’t finished a game since ME3…
How good are the graphics? Got me a 3080 finally.
Okay. If your card can handle RTX it looks nice
my 2060 did fantastic. You’ll be fine.
You realize for the massage to help, you need to massage her back and that your normal approach is useless?
Fantastic T&A on Wanton Wednesday.
https://archive.li/B9Lj3
No face diapers!
Sexy Chivettes are good.
Is there gonna be a Zoom tomorrow? I have the d̶a̶y̶ night off, and since Ive been absent for the past couple months due to this shift work I’d embrace an opportunity to d̶r̶u̶n̶k̶e̶n̶l̶y̶ ̶f̶a̶l̶l̶ ̶b̶a̶c̶k̶w̶a̶r̶d̶s̶ ̶i̶n̶t̶o̶ ̶a̶ ̶5̶5̶”̶ ̶T̶V̶ drunkenly show my ass to Kristen.
Tonight AND tomorrow! I’ll post the in evening links
Between my joby job and all the amazing content that this site puts out, I couldn’t keep up the last couple of weeks. But the links(tm), additional posts, and as many comments as I could read on the crapper have given me much joy in an otherwise mundane day to day repetition.