Thursday Afternoon SParkly Links

by | Dec 17, 2020 | Daily Links | 330 comments

!! Warning: personal note below !!

My late mother LOVED Christmas. LOVED it. So, of course, since her passing, that has added to my seasonal sadness. And my Dad always had a huge spaghetti dinner open house Christmas Eve. It was a big deal with all my siblings and their kids and all the family friends and extended family in attendance. I miss my Dad, and Christmas Eve with family. Anyway.

I am trying to work my way out of it by:  A) cleaning and organizing (rubber gloves are my Super Power); B) putting up lights and setting up my little ceramic Christmas tree in my office (because OMWC hates it); and C) baking and making treats for other people.

This morning I sent a package of peanut and cashew brittles to someone at OMWC’s work who has been super nice and helpful to us this year. I received an email thanking me and saying it’s that person’s favorite candy. That was lucky!

I’m making another batch of plain peanut brittle tomorrow for my favorite Shipt shopper, because she told me a sweet story about how her late grandmother always made it for her for Christmas and she hasn’t had any since.

I have a batch each of spicy peanut and cashew brittle on the counter. This afternoon I am making biscochitos, most of which will be sent to OMWC’s lab. I might even get around to making the sugar cookies I joked about last night. (I have all the ingredients, I just need time…and more cookie sheets.)

I’ll be making a package of cookies and treats for some local friends who have small children. And potting up an herb plant or two for a friend who cooks.

And I’m now regretting not making the eggnog DblEagle shared in the Thanksgiving recipe post, even though it’s not remotely vegan.

So, that’s the state of my world this week. I want to send my “thoughts and prayers” to all the Glibs who are also having a difficult time. You aren’t alone. Lean on the people who love you, and on us.

 

Well, what’s happening elsewhere? Let’s see.

OK, which one of you was this?

Awww. Matching is good, as WebDom used to tell me when she was a very small child.

Which one of you is this?

Awww. They’re all good boys, even the girls.

And here’s a little silliness.

 

I hope your afternoon, evening, morning, or whatever it is where you are is good and getting even better.

About The Author

SP

SP

I've got an idea! How about we just stick to the Constitution as written and then the government can leave me the fuck alone.

330 Comments

  1. UnCivilServant

    Which one of you is this?

    Not it,

    • UnCivilServant

      OK, which one of you was this?

      Also not it.

      • hayeksplosives

        I have it on good authority that libertarians are greedy and self centered, so also not it.

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, I’m not a Libertarian, but I’m also not a Florida Man, so that article’s not about me.

        I also never owned a $25k porn collection.

    • EvilSheldon

      All my porn and sex toys are safely accounted for.

    • Jarflax

      My Mom did dispose of my porn collection at one point, but I’m pretty sure the staute of limitations has run.

  2. leon

    Were all the beastie boys on the jury?

    PARRRRTY!

    • The Other Kevin

      His pops caught him smoking, and he said No Way.

      • Drake

        That hypocrite smokes 3 packs a day!

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        Livin’ at home is such a drag.

    • SDF-7

      I strongly suspect 90+% of us are going to have that immediate through before scrolling down. Nice one.

      • Count Potato

        #metoo

    • Shpip

      His client had moved into his parents’ home in late 2016 after a divorce. After he left for Muncie, Indiana, he expected them to deliver his belongings. He later realized that a dozen boxes of pornographic films and magazines were missing.

      I wonder if his collection had anything to do with why he got divorced.

      • The Other Kevin

        If he can’t figure out how to use a phone and Incognito mode, he has no business being married.

  3. Yusef drives a Kia

    Hyperion, Tall Cans!

  4. Fourscore

    Dad and the birthmark tattoo is straight up love of a father for his son.

    My kids just say “Show and send me the money”

  5. Rebel Scum

    A Grand Haven couple will have to pay for disposing of their son’s pornography collection.

    The only question is how much.

    David Werking, 42, sued his parents, Beth and Paul Werking, after they tossed out what a judge called “a trove of pornography and an array of sex toys.”

    This is what happens when you live in your parents basement.

    • leon

      “Tossed” out. I’m sure if he digs around Mom and Pop saved them for themselves!

      • The Other Kevin

        Those were vintage collectibles he planned to sell on eBay.

  6. Fourscore

    SP, I look at your projects and think how good they would taste. My mother was big on Christmas when I was a kid. Now with no kids or grand kids around we do very little (or none).

  7. Rebel Scum

    And here’s a little silliness.

    Wtf…

  8. Yusef drives a Kia

    25 this morning, 25 at noon, 25 at 4:10, must be time to walk the dog,
    Where’s My Snow you all told me about!/!?

    • Nephilium

      This snow is hitting those further east. It’s been snowing all day here, but it’s warm enough that it’s not sticking to the pavement, just the lawn. There was enough this morning that I could see all the deer tracks through the lawn.

    • UnCivilServant

      I just finished digging out my car, so count your blessings.

      • Fourscore

        Wow, that’s some kind of snow! Some of my neighbors leave their cars outside, that’s exactly the reason I park mine inside, even in summer. Hard for me to understand someone in MN that may even have a garage and still leaves a car outside.

      • UnCivilServant

        I don’t have off-street parking, let alone a garage. Otherwise I’d use it for the car.

      • Fourscore

        I know, that would have squelched the deal on the house for me. Too bad, I feel your pain. Now what happens to the snow you took off? Does the city remove it with a front loader or plow it away?

      • UnCivilServant

        Once in a blue moon a plow will push it to the side of the road, and it stays there until spring. Otherwise is stays wherever we shovelled it to.

      • UnCivilServant

        And due to that waste of tax money, I had more trouble trying to pass through any intersection than I did getting out of my parking spot.

        What’s the point of plowing if you can’t even clear the intersections?

    • Not Adahn

      They predicted between 1 to 18.” Way more than that fell at my place.

      • Fourscore

        We had a 7 % chance of snow predicted today, the meteorologists are getting pretty scientific in their calculations. So if we had snow or no snow they’d still be correct.

      • Ted S.

        Yeah, we were supposed to be in the “jackpot” in the Catskills at 20-plus inches. But the storm moved a bit northwest. We got a foot or so, but from Saratoga SW to Binghamton they got 30-plus inches.

    • ElspethFlashman

      No GD snow here yet !! what the actual heck Michigan? Dec 17 ?!!!?

  9. Chafed

    I didn’t even know there is such a thing as spicy peanut brittle. That sounds delicious.

    • Nephilium

      The key in cooking is knowing what goes with what, and what can be adjusted without risk to the recipe. Spicing and the like are usually fine (as long as the flavors work).

      Speaking of… they came out with a Flavor Bible for those of you with dietary restrictions. The original one is an amazing book for coming up with ideas for cooking.

      • Tulip

        I love my flavor bible.

      • Nephilium

        It’s much better then their second book “What to Drink with What you Eat”. If you’re a wine person, perhaps you’ll get more out of it. As a beer person, the first time they recommended Lager or Ale as a pairing, I realized they were out of their depth on the beer side (those are less descriptive then white or red when it comes to wine).

      • Nephilium

        Already got that book, and met Mr. Garrett Oliver at an event at my local at the time (it was either when this book was released, or the Oxford Companion to Beer was released). I’ve been a fan ever since I saw him talking on a documentary about a grape vs. grain competition (3-5 course meal, each course has both a wine and a beer paired with it, attendees vote at the end which they preferred).

        It helps that Brooklyn Brewing make some really good beers too.

  10. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Still remember when dad found all my porn.

    He complimented me on my reading materials. Mom was rather silent. Little sis loudly proclaimed “I knew he had those all the time!”

    • Old Man With Candy

      Mom was rather silent

      Was she in any of them?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Unless my mother was extremely good at hiding her proclivities, she was and is a bit of a prude.

      • Old Man With Candy

        That’s a tell.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        LALALALALALALALALALAAAAAAA I CAN’T HEAR YOUUUUUUUUU

      • rhywun

        I found a toy in mom’s nightstand once, snooping around. I didn’t know what it was.

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      I had a Playboy subscription as a teenager. The packaging blacked out the cover so I told my parents it was a futuristic xbox magazine that blacked out as part of the branding vibe.

      They didn’t realize until the stash was found a couple years later.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        sigh… another organization that has been skin-suited and destroyed… although one that was admittedly liberal to begin with.

    • prolefeed

      I remember when my later-to-be-ex-wife found my stash of pr0n, back when magazines were still a thing. Her reaction, in retrospect, was a ginormous red flag, but I hadn’t yet had the epiphany that I ought to be with someone who loves me exactly the way I am, rather than wanting some massive and oftentimes impossible changes.

    • Deplorableme

      Some comedian, I think it was Adam Corrola, mentioned that our generation (we’re in the 50’s) were the last generation that had to struggle a bit to find porn. A young DeplorableMe had to hunt for it, finding the older brother’s stash (under the mattress) or my dad’s stash in the garage. Ah, good memories.

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        I remember rummaging through paper bins looking for Playboys and Penthouses. I don’t think we ever found one.

      • zwak

        I grew up in a college town. We found lots!

        But that said, I go to a lot of estate sales, and when they are done by the family and not professionals, you can almost always find the stash. It’s kinda depressing.

      • Fourscore

        I bought all the books from a vacated Jesuit Retreat House in Madison, WI. I told my helper we’d find a stash of porn. Sure enough, in one of those hidey holes under the eaves was a box but it was more bland, like “Sex in Marriage” type. It’s what passed for porn, I guess, for those of the collar.

        The books were not theological either, mostly the self help. We didn’t pay much and we didn’t make much, goes with the territory.

      • zwak

        One of the more interesting finds, when I was still in used books, was a local artist’s stash of pre-war Japanese erotica. Art pics, all black and white and really well done. Tne boss kept those.

      • DrOtto

        Found a glorious stash of Club and Hustler on the way home from school one day sitting in an open top garbage can in an alley. There were so many we had to leave some. We could only get so many into our backpacks It was nearly as good as Christmas morning.

      • db

        A friend and I found a porn stash in the forest behind our subdivision when we were about 10 or 11. Some real nasty stuff sealed away in Tupperware to protect it from the weather. Disgustingly, there was also a badly stained mattress and two peanut butter jars, one that looked like it was filled with Crisco, one half full of what appeared to be semen.

      • DrOtto

        If it doesn’t spill to the ground, it’s not a sin!

    • Rebel Scum

      I never had anything in print but I did figure out the v-chip code.

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      Never had much porn but had a bunch of raunchy underground comics. There was one where Mr. Natural had to take care of a giant baby in the desert. He didn’t have anything to feed it so he whipped out his schlong and let the baby suck on that.

      Guess which comic Mom found.

  11. Old Man With Candy

    I don’t hate your tree. I’m just… indifferent to its charms.

  12. Rebel Scum

    You know how I know they are just fucking with us to demoralize and control us?

    As one of the first vaccinated people in New Haven is planning on traveling after the second dose,
    @VinGuptaMD reacts:

    “Just because you get vaccinated after the second dose does not mean you should be traveling. … You could still get infected and pass it along to others.”

    • leon

      :Tries to remember RC Deans Advice:

      I never realized how ubiquitous evil was until this year.

    • Swiss Servator

      VinGuptaMD needs to be dipped in gravy and dropped into a kennel full of starving Rottweilers.

      • Not Adahn

        Rusty spotted cats would make a better show of it.

    • grrizzly

      They will not threaten us with vaccination passports. They will deny them to us even when we plead for them.

    • rhywun

      Everything still applies until all of us gets that two-dose regimen.

      I am just going to self-censor my response to that.

  13. Tundra

    Hi SP!

    I miss my grandmas, too, especially at Christmas. Christmas Eve at one’s house, Christmas day at the other. Midnight Mass. Peanut brittle and apricot brandy (really!).

    Dang, now I’m getting a little wistful.

    *reads lynx*

    And now I’m happy. Nice work, SP!

    I like these positive posts!

    • Nephilium

      Thanksgiving was the time to spend with Grandma and all the cousins and uncles (on my dad’s side, my mom’s side… not so much). Usually the week after that Grandma and Grandpa would be heading down to Florida to snowbird it. Christmas was always with just the immediate family.

    • ElspethFlashman

      It’s the 3rd anniversary of my dad’s death 🙁 so I tried to buy a Coor’s Banquet beer in his memory. Standing at the cooler in the party store, I realized I wouldn’t really drink it (it’s just too awful) so instead I got a Guinness extra stout.

      • db

        It’ll be my Mom’s 2nd in a little over 3 weeks. Sorry for your loss, sincerely.

      • westernsloper

        I actually crave a banquet beer on occasion. Memories of times gone by. I will toast your father on the next one.

  14. KOVIDKristen

    Got a Christmas gift in the mail today from my oldest friend. We’ve been close as sisters for 37 years. She is one of the 3 or 4 people who really get me. I’ve always maintained that it is far better to have a small handful of close friends than a large circle of acquaintances.

    Anyhoo. My Ma was also one of the people that understood me. Losing her was like a vital bodily function being cut off. She also loved Christmas. She had a large collection of Santas that she would display every year. The first one, from ~1960 something was a standing Santa that sang some weird version of Jingle Bells when you pressed his tummy.

    • The Other Kevin

      I had one like this when I was a kid. Was it this one?

      • KOVIDKristen

        That looks like the one!

      • The Other Kevin

        One of my dad’s work friends gave me one when I was a kid. That was over 40 years ago. Mom and dad still bring him out at Christmas.

        The second verse he sang was:

        Jingle bells, jingle bells
        Christmas time is here
        Welcome one, welcome all
        Santa Clause is here

  15. Swiss Servator

    “Marshmallow wandered onto a U.S. military base in the Eastern European country of Georgia”

    Um…

    • dontreadonme

      “Wait, there’s a map around here somewhere…”

  16. Rebel Scum

    I wonder if someone is actually fucking with his prompter. My money is on Kamala.

    Joe Biden calls Chasten Buttigieg “Kristen.”

    Defeated by the teleprompter again.

    Biden even called Chasten Buttigieg a “close friend” of his and yet he can’t pronounce his name correctly.

    • leon

      He’s old, maybe he just doesn’t understand how gay couples work…

      • UnCivilServant

        “They’re just a pair of confirmed bachelors.”

      • Rebel Scum

        I thought one of the lies he told was about him questioning a gay couple as a kid and his dad saying that it was just love and is a-ok. Obviously everyone was super tolerant of that type of behavior at the time.

      • leon

        Yeah, if there was a “Shit that didn’t Happen” list that has to be in the top 10 most unbelievable.

      • juris imprudent

        Let’s see, Scranton PA in the what, early 50s? And pops was some kind of blue collar guy? Geddafuqouttahere.

      • Swiss Servator

        “That is one ugly broad!”

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      Well his hair smelled like a Kristen.

    • juris imprudent

      He screwed up Becerra’s announcement as well, said something like be-a-sierra.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      And he can’t swim.

      Dude’s a hero.

      • Tundra

        Chick’s pretty cute, too.

        Definitely a hero.

        But being able to swim wouldn’t help much there…

      • dontreadonme

        Based on his track I would say he was drinking plenty of the Scotch to stay warm.

    • Rebel Scum

      I posted this story yesterday but it didn’t have a pic of the chick. Worth it.

    • Walford

      The Mrs and I used to go wave running in the gulf. I left the drain plugs out once and had to leave her on a tiny sandbar/island and baby the craft back to the trailer. Barely made it back to her before low tide hit.

    • Agent Cooper

      Story is he left a trail of shit-stained drugs in his wake.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    I never realized how ubiquitous evil was until this year.

    Ubiquitous, and banal.

    So very very banal.

  18. dbleagle

    Up side, today is another beautiful day with light Trade Winds. This morning my pre-dawn beach walk included the Southern Cross and a binos view of Omega Centauri. Plus their was some scattered bioluminescence along the beach. Tonight promises to be clear for some telescope time with Jupiter, Saturn, Mars, and M31.

    Down side, Company has announced a mandatory Kung Flu test for all employees. At least it is done from home. Plus the diversity report was released, so apparently supporting our clients is no longer the top goal of the company.

    My recent trip to AZ was fun. To RC’s earlier article- spending time outdoors is a key for me to retain some sanity. I spent four days camping and hunting along the north side of the Santa Catalina’s and enjoyed every minute of it. (Exaggeration. I do discount a minute or two after I had an ocotillo arm whip back into my calf.)

  19. LJW

    My younger brother passed away recently. My mom has been struggling with his death and wasn’t sure what to do when she came across his Christmas stocking. We decided to put it up and every year we are going to fill it with money to donate to a local animal shelter in his name(he always wanted to be a vet). IMO celebrating holidays like your relatives are still there is the best way to go. Anyways sorry for the depressing story, post some happy links!

    • Tundra

      I’m very sorry.

      That, however, is a beautiful way to honor his memory.

      Merry Christmas!

      • LJW

        Thanks! Merry Christmas to you!

    • hayeksplosives

      I agree. This is my first Christmas after laying my father to rest, and we pulled out all the decor anyway. It’s like a more cheerful version of flipping though photo albums as we put on ornaments, each one meaning something to us.

      Next I’m going to put up the vintage electric Mickey Mouse band where the figures physically bang their brass bells and play a variety of Christmas songs. That thing is killer.

    • KOVIDKristen

      I love that idea! I’m so sorry about your brother

    • db

      Sorry about your brother. Honoring him in that way is a wonderful tribute.

      • Fourscore

        Gone but not forgotten…

    • Count Potato

      Sorry 🙁

    • DEG

      Sorry.

    • SP

      I’m sorry for your family’s loss. That is a great way to honor his memory.

    • Suthenboy

      My Grandfather passed away in 1985 and I still miss the hell out of him. It is hard to lose family.

    • zwak

      Sorry about your brother, that can kick the hell out of a family.

      My uncle died young (19) and it ripped my grandmother apart.

    • Tulip

      So sorry about your brother. That is a lovely tribute.

    • mrfamous

      Condolences. So sorry

    • Don escaped Two Corinthians

      I love it

  20. hayeksplosives

    Another tiny victory! Gavin Newsom lost ANOTHER court challenge to his rule by fiat. San Diego restaurants can reopen!!

    In your face, you greasy hypocrite! Looks like the Husband’s Jan 6 Bday dinner is back on.

    • UnCivilServant

      Yay!

      And a pre-emptive happy birthday to him, as I will forget.

      • DEG

        Ellison to defiant restaurants: ‘People will get sick and die because of you’

        Ellison can go fuck himself.

      • hayeksplosives

        I hate Ellison so much. I should have agreed to ask him a question when the PR people at my work back in MN wanted me to lob a softball question when Ellison visited us.

        At the time I recused myself because i was funding his opponent’s campaign.

        If I could do it over, I’d have agreed and then of course I’d ask a different question. He stood directly in front of me during q and A, just a narrow table between us. I think my steely gaze and slight smile unnerved him a bit.

      • Fourscore

        The Mission Bar got busted too, in Mission Township. Owners were public about staying open. I think it was the state liquor asshoes rather than the local polizei

      • Pope Jimbo

        Ellison is truly a lying sack of shit.

        Like I said this morning, the State Govt better hope that the outlaw businesses don’t decide it would be cheaper and easier to stop collecting sales taxes altogether and simply bribe the local law enforcement directly.

        It would be pretty funny to see Ellison and Walz fuming about the rule breakers and not being able to do anything about it. Except to withdraw their liquor licenses.

        The problem with that is that if you yank a license and people realize nothing changed (except possibly lower prices because the cost of local bribes is lower than state sales tax), you have problems brewing as other businesses watch.

  21. Count Potato

    “The parents had kept some materials, described as the “worst of the worst,” in a safety-deposit box, concerned it could be illegal.”

    So literally a spank bank?

    • Shpip

      Sometimes, not often, but sometimes, I like the idea of a chick with a horse.”

    • Tundra

      Cooter cancer, then bone cancer.

    • The Other Kevin

      “If you see someone not wearing a mask, or not socially distancing, be sure to tell the authorities or you’ll get coal in your stocking!”

    • hayeksplosives

      I’d take that opportunity to tell my kids that Santa is a big institutional lie created to manipulate the masses. Teach him to think for himself and how to recognize propaganda.

      Buy the kid some shares in a mutual fund and get him a nerf gun or something age appropriate.

      • UnCivilServant

        My mutal funds are up 2.89% in two and a half weeks.

        My GW Stocks are up, and it looks like CDPR has stopped its plunge.

        So he won’t appreciate the mutual funds this christmas, but it might end up being the most valuable later.

    • Rebel Scum

      You’re a mean one Mrs. Gretch…

      • dontreadonme

        She looks more like a Cruella to me….

    • DEG

      Hovering over the link was enough for me.

      Ballotpedia lists several attempts to recall Whitmer. One of them has been abandoned.

      Poking around on the Intertubes, it looks like impeaching Whitmer will go nowhere due to a lack of enough votes in the state senate.

      The most recent bits I can find about Unlock Michigan’s petition attempt to repeal the emergency powers laws is that the state government has the petitions to verify signatures and the state AG is investigating Unlock Michigan.

      • mrfamous

        She’s already been slapped down once by the courts and she essentially told them to go pound sand. It’s a new breed of politician who knows the courts don’t have the balls to lead her out of the Capitol in cuffs, so she’s free to ignore them.

    • mrfamous

      Was going to see if this was posted.

      Once again, forget, for a moment, the pure level of evil this sort of thing represents. Instead focus on the fact that this person who likely considers herself extremely intelligent and therefore fit to rule over the benighted masses, thought this was a good idea.

    • Agent Cooper

      Goebbels would be proud.

  22. The Late P Brooks

    Company has announced a mandatory Kung Flu test for all employees. At least it is done from home

    Send in some dog slobber. See if they can tell the difference.

    • hayeksplosives

      In Austrian parliament recently, a politician took one of the COVID-19 at-home tests, used it on a newly opened can of Coca Cola right there in parliamentary session, and showed the positive result.

      Epic.

      • But Enough About My Pulsating, Geriatric Pecs

        Yeah, unfortunately, one of his opponents immediately accused him of being drunk. Which, of course, would have nothing to do with how the Hell a COVID-19 test could get a false positive out of a can of Coke, but nevertheless seemed to distract all of the morons watching/reporting on what the politician had just demonstrated.
        ” . . . the more I like my dog,” indeed.

      • J. Frank Parnell

        Nobody tell Newsom about this, he’ll ban soda.

      • Broswater

        Aaaand Politifact says it ”False”, of course, because he didn’t do the test properly!

        So if you don’t do the test properly, the result won’t be ”inconclusive”; it will give you a false positive. How convenient. I think the politician proved way more than he intended.

        https://www.google.com/search?q=Austrian+parliament+covid19+coca+cola&oq=austrian+&aqs=chrome.0.69i59j46i20i263i275i433j69i59j46i175i199j46i67j0i67j0i20i263j69i61.1702j0j15&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

  23. Yusef drives a Kia

    I’m doing a full Wendy, tons of goodies and old recipes for yummys, my Sisters Family is thrilled,
    W had a rep for killer treats

    • Tundra

      Nice.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        She never did Pie, I do, Cherry and Blueberry, Yum!

    • DEG

      Top notch collection.

      Bonus points for no face diapers.

  24. Shpip

    And my Dad always had a huge spaghetti dinner open house Christmas Eve.

    My grandmother would always cook spaghetti with chopped walnuts, black olives and anchovies. About every other year, I can convince the wife to make it for me (or let me in her kitchen to make it).

    • Tulip

      That sounds delicious

    • hayeksplosives

      Then below that they scoff at republicans for claiming to be the silent majority. They complain that non-left voters are “ “certainly not” silent or a majority.

      Enjoy your little bubble, mean spirited lefties. You are everything you accuse your rivals of being, and worse.

      • juris imprudent

        Progs gotta progject.

    • kbolino

      Preet showed up in the suggested tweets. What a surprise, he’s a petty ass.

    • DEG

      She should just go into porn.

  25. Count Potato

    I think we should all get SP copy for Christmas.

  26. The Late P Brooks

    Bipartisanship

    Jen O’Malley Dillon, President-elect Joe Biden’s campaign manager and incoming White House deputy chief of staff, walked back comments she made in a recent interview suggesting that congressional Republicans were “a bunch of f—ers.”

    The mea culpa came in a virtual conversation Thursday with veteran Democratic operatives Stephanie Cutter and Teddy Goff, during which O’Malley Dillon acknowledged she “used some words that I probably could have chosen better” when speaking with author Glennon Doyle for a Glamour magazine interview published Tuesday.

    In that interview, O’Malley Dillon recalled the blowback Biden faced from fellow Democrats throughout the party’s 2020 nominating contest for invoking a bygone era of Washington bipartisanship which many progressives viewed as unrealistic and outdated.

    “In the primary, people would mock him, like, ‘You think you can work with Republicans?’” O’Malley Dillon told Glamour. “I’m not saying they’re not a bunch of f—ers. Mitch McConnell is terrible. But this sense that you couldn’t wish for that, you couldn’t wish for this bipartisan ideal? He rejected that.”

    Addressing the controversy Thursday, O’Malley Dillon argued that “the point that I was really making” in the Glamour interview “is an incredibly important point. And that really is about the president-elect and why he was supported by over 81 million people, and what they were looking for.” She went on to restate Biden’s “belief that we can get things done, and we can get them done if we come together.”

    “I think we can work with those fuckers, as long as they just agree to do everything we say.”

    • The Other Kevin

      These people are such idiots. All they have to do is play sort-of nice and peel off a few squishy Republican votes, and they can do whatever they want. They could have done that with Trump, too. He’s a deal-maker. They could have gotten him to compromise on anything.

      • kbolino

        As thin-skinned as Trump is, theirs is thinner.

      • leon

        Why Compromise? The GOP is now relegated to Forever Minority Party! Ignore the results of the Congressional election. Trumps Loss is PROOF that the left will have power forever and alway!

    • prolefeed

      Biden’s “belief that we can get things done, and we can get them done if we come together.”

      Phrasing? Is that a thing we’re not doing any more?

      https://archive.is/ZM0fO

    • Suthenboy

      “…he was supported by over 81 million people…”

      No one believes that.

  27. Tundra

    Lean on the people who love you, and on us.

    Lol.

    Some of us are in both groups, though.

    • UnCivilServant

      What if I’m the reliable one and everyone else is in worse shape?

      • Surly Knott

        All my friends are naughty.
        Then there’s me, the holy one.

  28. Rebel Scum

    Rand Paul 2024

    “He was the most over-the-top critic of President Trump on Russia collusion, and it turns out he’s sleeping with a Chinese spy.”

    @RandPau says @ericswalwell “ought to just resign from Congress,” after his association with an alleged Chinese spy was revealed.

    • db

      How many people would be left in Congress if we rooted out all the ones that had taken money or an in-kind “donation,” or a free vacation, or a trip to the strip club, from a foreign agent? I think we should find out.

      • zwak

        Too many?

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      Has it actually been acknowledged that Swalwell banged Fang Fang? I also wonder if it had anything to do with Swalwell’s divorce. I can’t find any information about it since I don’t have Obama powers. Granted, it’s easy to believe that his first wife would divorce him just for being an asshole, no affair required.

      • DrOtto

        He wouldn’t answer the question on “national security” grounds. Pretty sure that was a “yes”.

  29. DEG

    Sorry about your mother SP.

    Peanut and cashew brittle sounds delicious. Maybe a little too delicious.

    He doesn’t want anything in return — he just hopes it inspires others to pay it forward. “I’ve had people call me out of California, Chicago, Tampa, saying that they wanted to send some money,” Esmond said “I said, ‘No, take the money, go do what I did. Start this in your own communities.’ It’s something I can see that we could really pass on and make Christmases better for people in the future.”

    I like this guy.

    Marshmallow was so overjoyed to see him that she popped the stitches from her spay surgery, but soon recovered. She’s adjusted nicely to life in the U.S. and has claimed Brady’s couch for her own. She gets along with his chow chow, Bear, and loves playing outside.

    Very nice.

  30. Rebel Scum

    I bet you can even get pallets of cash!

    “I have no doubt that the heroic national resistance of Iran is going to compel the future U.S. government to bow … and the sanctions will be broken,” Rouhani said Thursday.

    The Washington Post reports the remarks were made at the inauguration of several infrastructure projects, where he spoke via videoconference.

    On Wednesday, Khamenei had said in a televised address if U.S. sanctions “can be lifted in a correct, wise, Iranian-Islamic [and] dignified manner, this should be done.”

    “We should not hesitate for even an hour,” he said, echoing a phrase Rouhani often uses, thus restating the confidence in Tehran that Joe Biden in the White House would mean a resumption of a compliant U.S. foreign policy in the Middle East.

    • kbolino

      I don’t understand, to this day, what we are supposed to get out of the Iran deal. They get cash and we get… a pinky-swear they won’t develop nukes? Why do I give a fuck if they get nukes? Pakistan has nukes, that ship has sailed.

    • EvilSheldon

      LOL.

      19-year-old ‘sipping a beer?’ What nunnery did you go to college at?

    • Hyperion

      Who wrote that, Camelawhore?

    • leon

      “Russian”

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        ?

    • juris imprudent

      …on the internet are safe and secure.

      They also say…

  31. Mojeaux

    Too humbuggy this year to do much. I do not feel like baking, not even spritz or Russian tea cakes.

    My mom and her 2 sisters aren’t feeling up to the minor Xmas Eve shindig they usually put on, so we’re on our own for that. I don’t mind at all. I’d rather she not do all that work just because the alpha sister (she’s a piece of work) insists. (I think Tday tore it; mom simply COULDN’T do anything and her two sisters had to carry the self-inflicted load themselves.)

    I wanted to go to Midnight Mass (I am so not Catholic) for Xmas Eve (the music, OMG the MUSIC), but I think that’s been canceled.

    And so, since it’s my scheduled day to work at my evening gig, I will be working on Xmas Eve.

    • Nephilium

      Hell, I haven’t even really done any Christmas shopping this year. Usually at this point, I’ve got everything wrapped and ready to go.

  32. rhywun

    Heh my boss and boss-boss wanted my input on a possible “virtual party” for our team of developers that HR gave some helpful suggestions on how to celebrate. We all agreed that nobody was going to be interested with the possible exception of “video games”. And we don’t have any women in our team to set that stuff up any more ?

  33. juris imprudent

    Silver lining to the dark cloud?

    The only message in his “I’m-not-Trump” political campaign was that President Trump made a mess of domestic and foreign policy and that Biden would fix all of that. The deadly trap is that Trump did very well on many key measures and Biden inevitably will do much worse, creating a failed Biden presidency.

    • kbolino

      That requires people to believe their lying eyes. On the plus side, Trump’s time laid the groundwork for much broader mistrust of media and cultural elites.

  34. Rebel Scum

    Good timing.

    Georgia is conducting a statewide review of signatures on absentee ballots after weeks of pressure from President Trump and his campaign.

    Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger announced the statewide review in a press release on Thursday. The announcement comes after his office approved an initial signature review in one county, Cobb, on Monday.

    “We are confident that elections in Georgia are secure, reliable, and effective,” Raffensperger said in a statement. “Despite endless lawsuits and wild allegations from Washington, D.C. pundits, we have seen no actual evidence of widespread voter fraud, though we are investigating all credible reports. Nonetheless, we look forward to working with the University of Georgia on this signature match review to further instill confidence in Georgia’s voting systems.”

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Absentee or mail-in?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Excellent question, the article speaks about the ballots like they’re referring to the mailins but the wording is sloppy.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      My God, that’s the same combination I have on my luggage!

    • Agent Cooper

      NOT SCREENSHOTS!

      (Opens up Photoshop …)

    • UnCivilServant

      Even if I find it validates my biases, I can’t accept the word of a single anonymous source without corroboration.

      • Drake

        They’ve been pretty tight lipped about it so far. I really hope we get Clarence Thomas’ opinions on this and Roberts some day.

      • Mojeaux

        That’s how I see it.

    • Count Potato

      “Chief Justice Roberts was screaming

      “Are you going to be responsible for the rioting if we hear this case?”

      “Don’t tell me about Bush v. Gore, we weren’t dealing with riots then”

      “You are forgetting what your role here is Neil, and I don’t want to hear from the two junior justices anymore. I will tell you how you will vote.”

      Justice Clarence Thomas says “This is the end of Democracy, John.””

      That sounds too perfect to be true.

      • db

        Yeah, that’s a bit hard to believe. Plus, they were concerned that a teleconference wouldn’t be secure enough and then they just shouted at each other in a room with staff seaparated only by some doors and hallways? Sure.

      • leon

        It reads like the assassination/coup porn that the left would put out about Trump

    • Juvenile Bluster

      SCOTUS has not met in person since March. They’re still doing everything remotely. So this is 100% a lie.

      • DEG

        Yep.

        And it’s Hal Turner. I believe Alex Jones before Hal Turner.

      • Juvenile Bluster

        Ah. Didn’t even see who it was. Yeah, he’s about the least believable person out there.

  35. Count Potato

    “oe Exotic, the star of the Netflix series Tiger King who is serving 22 years in prison for plotting to kill a rival zookeeper, is suing the US Justice Department for rejecting his official pardon request.

    Joseph Maldonado-Passage, 57, also known as Joe Exotic, has claimed that the rejection is not valid because it wasn’t presented directly to President Trump himself. The reality star has also appealed to Kim Kardashian for help in reaching the president.

    Lawyers for Maldonado-Passage filed a six-page complaint in which they accuse Acting Pardon Attorney Rosalind Sargent-Burns of not forwarding on the formal request – something they claim she was required to do…..

    In September he wrote the president a letter pleading for an early release from prison while his representatives spent around $10,000 at Trump’s Washington, DC, hotel in a bid to help his cause.

    Earlier this year, Trump said he would consider issuing a pardon for Maldonado-Passage, after his son Donald Trump Jr. brought the case to him.

    ‘I’ll take a look,’ he told reporters in April.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9064363/Tiger-King-star-Joe-Exotic-SUES-Justice-Department-rejected-pardon.html

  36. The Late P Brooks

    For all the caterwauling they did about Authoritarian Orange Man, the Demos have slipped seamlessly into “Elections Have Consequences!” mode.

    And now the boot is on the other neck.

  37. The Late P Brooks

    Ellison to defiant restaurants: ‘People will get sick and die because of you’

    And he will have no difficulty proving that in a court of law.

  38. Juvenile Bluster

    I still have to say I am really happy about the Republican Party falling apart. They made their bed. I’ll worry the fuck about what the Democrats are doing, but I want the Republican Party dead, burned to the ground, and then I can piss in its ashes. Maybe it can be rebuilt as a party that actually gives a shit about liberty.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      The Critical Drinker’s Christmas Crackers-It’s a Wonderful Life

      https://youtu.be/a16iAIlu_04

      Good review…

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Whoops, not meant as a reply. Still a good review though.

    • DEG

      I’ve noticed in NH that the Free Staters and former LPNH members are making in-roads into the state Republican party. It probably helps that a) the younger generation of Republicans is more liberty friendly than older, established Republicans and b) the older generation is dying off and retiring.

  39. Derpetologist

    ***
    Based on our most recent research, the USCCA has identified just two states with statutes against carrying a concealed firearm while wearing a mask: California and Illinois (although sheriffs and county prosecutors in Illinois have made statements indicating that wearing a mask to protect others from COVID-19 while carrying a gun isn’t illegal as long as the wearer isn’t wearing the mask while committing a crime). Due to the large number of inquiries, some states have publicly addressed their laws regarding wearing masks, clarifying that they actually refer to individuals concealing their identity with the intention to commit illegal acts or to specifically hide their identity, and do not address wearing a mask while legally carrying a concealed firearm.
    ***

    My avatar does not mean what you guys think it means. On my planet, it means [head desk].

    • DEG

      I am tired of idiots on the Reopen related Derpbook groups I’m on still saying that it is illegal to carry a gun while wearing a mask. It still pops up.

      There is no such thing as peak derp.

      • Derpetologist

        Peak Derp is like Planck Temperature aka Absolute Hot- it exists, but is so absurdly high that for practical purposes, it is infinite.

        ***
        At the Planck temperature, you start producing miniature Planck-mass black holes, which are the hottest black holes that can exist. If you try to put more energy in the system, you would get larger black holes, which are cooler, and they would start absorbing stuff and cooling things down.
        ***

        The universe does indeed go up to 11.

  40. Derpetologist

    Read Paradise Lost this weekend. Some amusing tidbits:

    -Satan’s army is described as “atheist”. Take that, Dawkins!

    -Beelzebub and Satan have a kind of Saruman/Sauron or Marci/Peppermint Patty dynamic.

    -Tolkien was inspired by PL when he wrote LOTR, aka The Nerd Bible.

    -Christianity gets knocked for being sexist because Eve let evil into the world, but it was Mary who birthed the Savior. So they sorta cancel each other out.

    -I think the reason Christianity is such a popular religion is that Jesus is the ultimate hero: humble origin, great deeds, a noble sacrifice, a glorious legacy.

    -Civilization needs heroes. The whole project of each generation sacrificing to raise up the next is a kind of mass heroism.

    -Heroes give people hope, and that is what keeps people going instead of falling into despair.

    -I’m surprised that PL is not more widely read. It’s a very poetic paraphrase of the Bible.

    ***

    2 satires submitted:

    Feminist Hardware Store to Offer Bisexual, Transgender Nuts and Bolts

    Return of Messiah Close at Hand, Say Leading Joe Frum Shamans (featuring leading Frumologist Chief Hato Ni Foji)

    next one in the works: Fiscal Conservatives Mourn Defeat of President Who Outspent 44 out of 45 Presidents

    • robc

      I think CS Lewis agreed with you about Christianity. During his atgeist days, he noticed tge pattern across myths and figured one of them might be true.

      • Derpetologist

        Eh, I lean more towards:

        “Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.”

        -Lucius Annaeus Seneca

        It’s called monomyth for a reason.

    • UnCivilServant

      Conduc tthe execution and increment the number of Coronavirus deaths.

      • mrfamous

        I was gonna say, that’s a COVID death for sure.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Whatever is most expensive.

    • straffinrun

      Lethal injection of hydroxychloroquine.

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      Do they rub his arm with alcohol before they stick in the needle for the lethal injection?

      • db

        Oh, yes, they have to. Otherwise he could sue for malpractice.

  41. DEG

    In products you need: I recently bought this hat for when I’m out clearing snow. The hood on my jacket is subpar and doesn’t move well with my head when I look around (say, to see if a car is coming while I’m at the end of the driveway).

    I can say the hat is quite nice. I should have bought it earlier.

    • UnCivilServant

      It wasn’t cold enough for a hat, it was 16 degrees out all day.

      • DEG

        The wind was blowing the snow all over while I was out. Covering up was welcome.

      • Gender Traitor

        You could always wear gloves as earmuffs.

      • straffinrun

        What? I can’t hear you.

    • KOVIDKristen

      I had one of my Ma’s old rabbit fur Russian hats. Unfortunately, it got the dry rot.

      • UnCivilServant

        I had a rabbit skin I haven’t figured out what I’m going to use it for.

      • UnCivilServant

        … though I suspect the rest of the hat is in as bad shape, so it may not help you

      • Pope Jimbo

        The rabbit died?

  42. Gustave Lytton

    Good news: cable company is on the verge of switching over to fiber to the home

    Bad news: figuring out how to organize everything on my end.
    Replacing current original metal structured wiring cabinet with current plastic version, including running power to the cabinet
    Switching out consumer mesh WiFi for Ubiquiti setup (complete forklift), with adding cameras in near future
    Coordinating install with cable co and their contractor

  43. Pope Jimbo

    Potential Hope in Minnesoda?

    A plan for the Minnesoda National Guard to be deployed indefinitely during next year during the George Floyd trials has been leaked.

    I know Fourscore is hoping that once our Fearless Leader Walz gets wind of this (and remembers that he is the commander of the MNG) he will show the same heroism he did when his Guard unit was going to be deployed to Iraq and quickly resign.

    The Minnesota National Guard is preparing for a potentially massive and indefinite deployment early next year, during the high-profile trial of the four former Minneapolis police officers tied to the death of George Floyd, according to an internal plan obtained by 5 INVESTIGATES.

    The 12-page warning order called “Operation Safety Net” outlines in great detail how the guard will respond to anticipated civil unrest before, during and after the trial of Derek Chauvin, J Alexander Keung, Thomas Lane and Tou Thao.

    The worst-case scenario calls for all available guard forces in the state to be activated for an indefinite period of time.

    • Pope Jimbo

      And who can blame General/Governor Walz?

      Who wants to lead a bunch of 19-year old cooks?

      Walz, who didn’t activate the National Guard until the third day of rioting, responded to Frey’s accusations on Tuesday afternoon.

      “I don’t think the mayor knew what he was asking for,” he commented. “I think the mayor said, ‘I request the National Guard, whew, this is great. We’re going to have massively trained troops.’ No. You’re going to have 19-year-olds who are cooks.”

      • db

        Wow, it sounds like you have a real winner of a Gov, there.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Wow. Way to slur your state militia like that.

        I still say it wasn’t cowardice that got him booted from the deployment, but his leadership knew what a piece of shit he was and weeded him out before he could do real harm on a deployment.

    • Fourscore

      Walz is the guy that gives those cooks a bad rap. At least they produce something and it looks like the gov knows his way around the dinner table.

      Did I mention Walz is an ex school teacher? It shows, too. If all the NG has are cooks whose fault is that? The Gov is responsible for their training, OTOH
      he did take his retirement before the going got rough.

  44. DEG

    The Great War Channel on the Battle for Lake Tanganyika

    The Battle for Lake Tanganyika in German East Africa was one of the most bizarre battles of World War 1. It only really started once the Royal Navy had carried two boats through the jungle and the mountains from Capetown. Their names: Mimi and Toutou. Their commander: Geoffrey Spicer-Simson, probably the weirdest high ranking officer in the entire war.

    • Suthenboy

      People risked their lives and fought over lake Tanganyika?

      Idiots.

      • DEG

        It was the border between Belgian Congo and German East Africa. It is a strategic location between the two colonies.

      • Suthenboy

        How did that turn out?

      • Ted S.

        Haven’t you seen The African Queen?

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        People will fight over anything. And if you disagree, I’ll fight you.

  45. Q Continuum

    Well.

    Real life true story: I just got home from Walgreens. While waiting in line, the (reasonably attractive) woman behind me was having a loud and very explicit phone conversation about how her date’s penis was far too large to fit into her anus despite their many creative attempts. The pimply teenage boy at the checkout was giving many nervous-looking glances in her direction. I stifled the urge to make a lewd comment to her.

    https://archive.li/A3vvF

    Thot Thursday.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      “you know who else had a battle of the bulge and ended up getting torn a new asshole?”

      • Q Continuum

        *slow clap*

    • DEG

      No face diapers. Lots of beautiful women.

      Good gallery.

    • straffinrun

      If that’s true, why was she standing behind you?

    • Suthenboy

      She sounds charming. The kinda girl you want to bring home to meet Mom.

    • DrOtto

      Sounds like my crazy aunt talking about her first husband being “too big” during a family Thanksgiving one year. This was in front of the entire family and her “not too big” 2nd husband.

      • db

        That is classic

  46. Count Potato

    “The City of Paris Is Being Punished for Appointing Too Many Women ”

    https://twitter.com/Jezebel/status/1339404467393851392

    “France has a law that says no more than 60% of senior positions can go to a single gender.

    The female mayor of Paris appointed too many women, so now they’re being fined by the feds.

    Feminists are mad because they hate their own standards lmao.

    You get what you deserve.”

    https://twitter.com/TheLaurenChen/status/1339405948998344712

  47. Semi-Spartan Dad

    https://pjmedia.com/election/victoria-taft/2020/12/17/explosive-claim-at-senate-hearing-130000-fraudulent-votes-in-nevada-election-n1216558

    there were at least 130,000 unique fraudulent votes. Here’s the breakdown of the ones they could verify and have been provided to the public.

    42,000 people voted more than once
    1,500 dead voters cast ballots
    19,000 non-Nevada residents voted (number doesn’t include students and military)
    8,000 people voted using non-existent addresses
    15,000 votes were cast from commercial addresses or vacant houses
    4,000 ineligible foreign nationals voted

    These numbers weren’t derived from statistical probability or estimates:

    Our data scientists made these calculations not by estimations or statistical sampling, but by analyzing and comparing the list of actual voters with other lists, most of which are publicly available. To put it simply, they explained their methods so that others could check their work.

    That’s 4 times Biden’s win margin. Should be extremely easy to prove the list is erroneous if that’s the case.

    • Q Continuum

      It makes me sad that you think this matters.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        I would say it matters just as much as the Covid articles stating masks are useless, infection rates are artificially inflated, and lockdowns/social distancing have no effect.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        Meaning no it doesn’t change anything, and I don’t think it will. Reality has no connection to what’s going on. Yet we still post such things.

    • Suthenboy

      As I said above, no one believes Biden won this election.

      • Count Potato

        Biden can’t remember who won this election.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        I’m pretty sure he said the Harris Administration in a speech… which wouldn’t be wrong.

      • Suthenboy

        It is more than him, I have seen a few people refer to “President elect Harris”

        The whole thing is a big, in-your-face “Fuck you”

        They are determined to punish the country for electing Trump. The whole lot of them should get their names on lamp posts.

    • straffinrun

      “ 4,000 ineligible foreign nationals voted”

      Wonder how many times I voted.

    • straffinrun

      Minnesota Kotatsu.

  48. Timeloose

    So I had a great Merica moment today.

    I was walking across the yard after shoveling this afternoon. There was 18” of snow on the ground, the sun was shining, it was a brisk 20 deg.

    I was looking up to the beautiful sky and noticed a large bird flying towards me. As it got closer I noticed it was a bald eagle. I see about one a year over the river nearby.

    This was my eagle this year.

    Hope you all have a good night.

      • Timeloose

        Is that a golden eagle?

      • Suthenboy

        Yes.

        A couple of years ago I was walking from the garage to the front door when a golden eagle came over the hill on the north side of my yard with a huge bunny in its claws pumping its wings like mad laboring to gain height and brushed past my ear. I think its feet were bigger than my hands. I just ducked and let it be on its way.

        I like golden eagles.

      • Timeloose

        I get a bunch of hawks here. They keep the rabbits and squirrels on their toes.

        I get a lot of wildlife in my suburban neighborhood.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        We get golden eagles here occasionally on their migratory path. I lost a bunch of chickens to red tail hawks, so bought the biggest breed I could find, Jersey Giants. At 15 lbs, these were too big for the hawks and I thought they were safe. Then I saw my first golden hawk perched on a fence post. It made the hawks look like humming birds. I was searching just now for pics of them carrying off fawns and saw a crazy video of one even snatching up a toddler (kid is fine, got dropped from 5 feet up). Can’t imagine for those parents.
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=Xb0P5t5NQWM&ab_channel=TheMozaiK

        Anyway, after seeing that eagle I knew it didn’t matter how big my chickens were. An owl got them all anyway. Killed 15 over two days just for fun without eating them.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      This being 2020, I’m assuming that, as he flew overhead, the eagle let out a giant poop that landed in your eye.

  49. straffinrun

    Why do people think JFK was handsome?

    • Don escaped Two Corinthians

      eight years of Ike

      • straffinrun

        Even today, many people believe it. Jackie O. stood the test of time. JFK had Steve Buscemi’s eyes and Napoleon Dynamite’s hair.

      • DrOtto

        And Alfed E Neuman’s smile.

    • KOVIDKristen

      He was DC handsome. Aka powerful

      • straffinrun

        Ford or JFK? Choose your fighter.

    • Timeloose

      Because he was able to hook Jackie O.

    • grrizzly

      He was young and not ugly.

      • straffinrun

        So, Beto or Buttigeig hot?

      • grrizzly

        Yes, Beto level. Buttigeig is too short.

      • Suthenboy

        His name is Alfred E. Neuman and the answer is no. Neither he or that smarmy piece of cheese is hot.
        Being a pol disqualifies anyone from the ‘hot’ list.

      • straffinrun

        Noem?

      • Tundra

        Tulsi?

    • KOVIDKristen

      Jus looked through pics of every President, and they’re all pretty much scrubs compared to the wider world outside DC.

      That being said, I’ll go with TR as handsomest President, with Grant in 2nd.

      • mrfamous

        Abe Lincoln may have been the ugliest human being who has ever lived.

      • Mojeaux

        No, that’s Snoop Dogg.

      • Rebel Scum

        Have you seen his wife?

      • Urthona

        My dollar bill says GW was no looker.

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      Propaganda.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Sign me up, passing out in public is my kink.

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        Do we get to shave your eyebrows while you’re passed out?

      • DrOtto

        +1 Polaroid of penis by mouth

    • Rebel Scum

      Everyone turned their cameras off/away…

      • Suthenboy

        Morons wandering around aimlessly not knowing what to say or do. Brain dead idiots.

    • Sensei

      If only there were some trained people who knew what to do.

  50. Rebel Scum

    Cooking with Styx.

    Where the fuck is the beef?

  51. db

    I have found an alcoholic beverage that cats will drink: a White Russian made with heavy cream. They won’t stay away from me. I can’t set the drink down. I can’t let them drink it; I’ll have to down it quick.

    • Count Potato

      The dude abides.

      • db

        I actually look like the Dude when my hair is shorter. 3 years ago I went as the Dude for Halloween (starting 2 weeks prior) and every bartender at every bar called out “Dude!” and poured me a White Russian without asking.

      • Count Potato

        Good thing you like white russians.

        Did you already have the sweater? Those things are around $260.

      • db

        I don’t have the sweater, but I was wearing a beat up olive green hoodie that was a close approximation to the hoodie the Dude wore.
        The best part was when we went to see Messser Chups (a Russian surf band) play in Cleveland, I went up to talk to the band and as I approached, the drummer yelled out “Hey DUUUUDE”

    • Rebel Scum

      I can’t let them drink it

      Might be hilarious if you did.

  52. KOVIDKristen

    OMG how do I get these pinon incense bricks to stay burning????

    • Count Potato

      Is it the kind of incense that needs charcoal?

      • KOVIDKristen

        It says to just light it like regular incense, then set tit upright.

      • Tundra

        Pics?

      • KOVIDKristen

        Yep. Yep. Walked right into that one.

    • Tundra

      Gasoline?

    • db

      You need a bull incense to match the pinion incense.

    • Ted S.

      The correct answer is, you don’t burn incense.

    • KOVIDKristen

      OK, I think I got it. Had to hold the lighter to it forever.

    • Nephilium

      Napalm?

    • KOVIDKristen

      Dayum this stuff smells exactly like my friend in Santa Fe’s fireplace!

      • Nephilium

        So… dank?

      • KOVIDKristen

        Nahhhh….she’s not a smoker of anything.

    • Rebel Scum

      The man is wearing only a panda head and appears to be carrying a golf club.

      Also wearing roller blades.

    • mrfamous

      Which one of you was this?

      • Annoyed Nomad

        Not me. I don’t golf.

    • Nephilium

      If that still picture is where it happened… not sure why Columbus news was reporting on it. That’s east side of Cleveland.

      /source: I’ve driven past that exit enough times I’ve lost count

      • db

        Couldn’t have been a native if he was in the correct lane…

      • Agent Cooper

        It’s not. That’s from the “Ohio Highway” folder of archived images. Notice the lovely green foliage.

      • Agent Cooper

        It was on I-670 in Columbus (you can tell on the video). Word is it was Cam Atkinson. ; )

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Ireland’s really gone into the fookin’ crapper.

    • Rebel Scum

      Two months in jail for man wearing mask on head ‘like a hat’

      It’s just as effective as if it were on his face, but less damaging to his health.

  53. Lachowsky

    Peanut brittle-

    I loved my grandmother til death. Literally. She made a ton of good food that I ate throughout my life. That said, she was terrible at peanut brittle.

    Uts was so sticky that I remember being a kid with my teeth glued together wondering if opening my jaw was going to pull said teeth out of my head. I never complained and pretended it was great, but damn, that stuff was impossible to eat.

    • db

      My Mom was very good at coming up with great food from whatever was available.

      One evening she made a special “Peanut Chicken” which was suppposed to be some sort of take on Kung Pao Chicken, but for some reason included peanut butter.

      My sister, Dad, and I choked it down and complimented her on it.

      About 15 years later, we were having a dinner together at a restaurant, and my Mom said “This is almost as bad as that Peanut Chicken I made that one time.”

      My sister and I looked at each other and cracked up. Told her the story. I’m pretty sure my Dad never mentioned it to her before he died years before her admission.

      • Tundra

        Thanks, guys.

        Laughed my ass off at both stories.

  54. Yusef drives a Kia

    I hate being alone, and miss My Toxteth so much,