427 Comments

  1. Tres Cool

    mornin’

    Is sloopy OK ? Or has he barricaded himself in a room due to the cancellation of the game?

    • Swiss Servator

      And subsequent elimination of Ohio State from the B1G Championship Game. They shouldn’t have wussed out of playing Illinois…

      *runs from room*

      • robc

        I dont like doing it, but one argument for Ohio State. They can forfeit the game to Michigan, and thus qualify for the B1G championship, because they will then have 6 played and win the tiebreaker over Indiana.

        But I would make them forfeit it, not change the rules. Let Michigan have their 1-0 victory.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Making Harbaugh a genius?

      • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

        What’s tougher? Sloop’s Mustache or Swizzie’s Narrowed Gaze? Guess we’ll have to tune in to ABC to find out. These new Olympic Games are lame and make my head hurt…

    • Winded

      Cincinnati is less than 2 hours down the road, had their last two games canceled, is 8-0 and ranked #7…They and Ohio State should follow the tradition fellow unbeatens BYU and Coastal Carolina did last week and play each other on short notice.

  2. Scruffy Nerfherder

    I declare myself God-Emperor-elect.

    • AlexinCT

      That job is already taken by me. Find a new one brah.

      • Grosspatzer

        There is only one muad’dib. I eagerly await the steel cage match to determine the true God-Emperor.

      • AlexinCT

        What’s the Fremen word for “Bend over”?

      • robc

        Muad’dib was not God Emperor, his son was.

      • juris imprudent

        Yes, he refused to be the sacrificial leader that humanity required.

      • Not Adahn

        Was it that, or was he unwilling to be as cruel as the Golden Path required?

      • juris imprudent

        Hmm, I guess there are different ways you could look at it.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Six of one, half dozen of the other.

      • Grosspatzer

        Sheesh, here I am trying to spice up the thread and you go kicking sand in my face. Pedant!

      • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

        “Scrawny Weakling”!

      • Homple

        .. answers Charles Atlas comic book advertisement.

      • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

        Homple gets it!

      • juris imprudent

        Here, have a sip of the water of life, you’ll feel better.

      • Not Adahn

        He does ahve a weirding way with words.

      • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

        Aww. All you nerds went with Dune and this dweeb went with Charles Atlas.

      • Grosspatzer

        Dune AND Charles Atlas!

      • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

        “Take THAT you big bully!”

      • bacon-magic

        MuaDweebs.

      • juris imprudent

        Your fat will be rendered for the tribe!

    • Rebel Scum

      The AP already declared me God-Emperor-elect. So that ship has sailed. You might as well concede.

    • Threedoor

      Choose another planet. Mars is mine.

  3. Count Potato

    GMB

  4. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Something tells me we’re going to hear a lot from Flynn over the next few weeks.

    • AlexinCT

      I suspect that they are already looking at how they are going to silence him again, because if he starts telling about what went on during the Obama years, the poor people at Facedouche and Twatter will need to hire more propagandists to help put warnings on posts now talking about how corrupt the Obama administration they worked so hard to convince people was scandal free (they stopped peddling the lie that they were transparent and lawful, at least), because there will be so much censoring needed that it will be counter productive.

      • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

        It’s not the info going out, it’s the info coming in.

    • Grosspatzer

      RIP Florida. Here in NJ, a GS directorship is a mere steppingstone to the governor’s mansion. GS most recently gifted us with Gauleiter Murphy. Then there was This Guy.

  5. The Late P Brooks

    According to WaPo, that Texas election suit is just silly. Democracy dies in dark rooms full of smoke.

    • juris imprudent

      Generally speaking, I and I think most of us here are rightly appalled at the attention-whore-state-AGs suing for things that make their pack of seals bark that have no business in a court – say like climate change. I think it’s worth considering carefully the merits of the lawsuit rather than barking in unison.

      • Not Adahn

        I guess if you were an accelerationist, things that formalized divisions in the US would be a “good” thing.

      • juris imprudent

        I don’t see the division leading to a divorce, amicable or otherwise. The whole thing down the shitter? Yeah, now that is a plausible outcome.

      • leon

        I think their is merit to the argument that some of these states violated their constitutions when they restructured how they do voting this year. But I don’t know if other states have any standing to argue that another state is not compliant with their own law.

      • juris imprudent

        Have no doubt, I hate the PA SC with the intensity of 1000 suns. But that doesn’t give the state of Texas standing to correct their errors.

      • mrfamous

        Well, I dunno. It shouldn’t. But then all sorts of things “that shouldn’t” when it comes to Federalism are already enshrined into law. Since what goes on in PA has an outsized influence on TX (even though “it shouldn’t” under federalism), what are they supposed to do?

        “Fair-weathered Federalism” is a terrible idea, but it’s the modus operandi of at least one if not both of the parties. If I’m a State and Federalism exists only to restrict me and never to protect me, why on Earth should I play along?

        This is again what happens when you sacrifice principles for political expediency.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        This.

        I don’t know the first thing about the Texas suit, but Federalism can’t just be a cudgel against the states.

    • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

      I don’t believe they are smoking anymore, Brooksy. They mainline up the ass for the good hit.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Democracy dies from buttchugging.

  6. Count Potato

    “The Supreme Court posted online Tuesday evening: “Response to the motion for leave to file a bill of complaint and to the motion for a preliminary injunction and temporary restraining order or, alternatively, for stay and administrative stay requested, due Thursday, December 10, by 3 pm.””

    Online? What happened to the sexy pages in track shoes?

    • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

      Pssst. Look under the robes.

  7. The Late P Brooks

    Something tells me we’re going to hear a lot from Flynn over the next few weeks.

    #FAKEVICTIM

  8. robc

    Happy birthday to HOFer Joe Kelley. He is not the HoF Kelly of “Slide, Kelly, Slide” although they played at the same time. He was a member of the 1st and 2nd, but not the 3rd, major league incarnation of the Baltimore Orioles.

    He started his career with the Boston Beaneaters — which led my down the path of following their franchise names:

    Boston Red Stockings 1876-1882
    Boston Beaneaters 1883-1906
    Boston Doves 1907-1910 (he played for them too)
    Boston Rustlers 1911
    Boston Braves 1912-1935
    Boston Bees 1936-1940
    Boston Braves 1941-1952
    Milwaukee Braves 1953-1965
    Atlanta Braves 1966-

  9. The Late P Brooks

    Bowersox stated, “We’re concerned that, again, individuals will not be responsible. They will interact with individuals outside their home. They’ll go to gatherings and such. They won’t be masked. They won’t keep social distancing, and they won’t stay home when they’re ill.”

    The peasants are revolting.

    • Animal

      “Revolting? They’re absolutely disgusting!”

    • juris imprudent

      and they won’t stay home when they’re ill

      I’m highly skeptical of the threat of spread from asymptomatic people (since that is both infected people without symptoms and a whole lot of other folks), but damn, if you’re sick, keep your ass to yourself. I feel that way if it’s anything that can be spread.

      • CPRM

        What is ‘sick’ though? I think of sick as: fever, severe coughing, stuffed up nose, vomiting…

        Some other people think of ‘sick’ as: a nose that gets runny for a minute every few hours, coughing at all for any reason…

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        To me, fever means stay home. Cold symptoms mean minimize optional public interactions.

      • CPRM

        And to some people I work with ‘sick’ seems to be ‘I’ll just call in and make it a three day weekend’

  10. CPRM

    Other new sports confirmed for the 2024 Paris lineup include skateboarding, sport climbing and surfing.

    To make room for the four new sports, Olympic officials made significant cuts to other sports, including boxing and weightlifting.

    All four new additions aim to make the Summer Olympics “more gender balanced, more youthful and more urban,” Olympic Committee President Thomas Bach said, according to the Guardian.

    Lets cut down on one of the original Olympic games for things the kids will find fly cool hip!

    • Swiss Servator

      Were they not aware that the X-Games already exist?

    • robc

      There are a handful of sports that should not be allowed to be touched, boxing amongst them.

      About 20 years back, there was a push to get bridge into the winter olympics. It didnt advance very far. Why winter? Because the summer games are too full and stuff keeps getting cut. But the winter olympics requires the sport to be played on ice or snow, so the bridge committee said they would be fine with setting up the tables on an ice rink.

      I find that a silly rule, as basketball, for example, should be in the winter olympics. Which would help balance between the two, giving the winter games a big sport and opening up space in the summer games.

      • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

        Basketball and volleyball (excepting the beach variety) should be moved to Winter. What the hell ever happened to team handball? That was a good sport, entertaining to watch and really fun to play? (not a euphemism)

      • Gdragon

        Is Team Handball not still part of the games? They used to show it on the “extra” channels when there was nothing else going on. Wilt Chamberlain was a big fan as I recall, he even tried (and if you know Wilt you know he tried hard) to get a professional league started in the USA.

    • rhywun

      The IOC is hip to the interests of the youth of four decades ago.

    • Not Adahn

      Pshaw. Boxing is toksik maskulinitee!

      Wrestling only gets a pass this cycle becasue of the whole homoeroticism. However, it too is doomed. it’s waaaaay too white and gay men are the straight men of the LGBTIQ2+. In fact they are sooo out the door, they’re not even part of the new acronym (QTPAL (pronounced “cutie-pal”))

    • Tonio

      While I love surfing, and consider that it qualifies as a legit athletic actvity, I have qualms about it as an Olympic sport. Unless you reproduce the same wave for every competitor you’re going to get different conditions. But they have already made so many other activities into Olympic events, so hard to draw a line here.

      Bridge? Seriously? At least in darts you are throwing something, engaging in an activity that requires some strength (however miniscule) and skill born of practice.

      • robc

        There is a reason the bridge idea didnt advance very far.

    • juris imprudent

      I gots to admit – I am looking forward to who judges breakdancing. Somehow I can’t quite picture the dour East German judge of figure skating or gymnastics in that role.

  11. robc

    New York is going to end up poorer than Mississippi, arent they?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Cuomo and DeBlasio are working hard to make NYC the next Detroit.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        People with money are too independent.

      • AlexinCT

        That’s the problem right there…. People shouldn’t have money the government hasn’t given them. That way the serfs will be less inclined to get all uppity and shit because they are not worried their cheese can be taken away if they don’t obey.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Yep, if the government can threaten to take away the crumbs that people survive on that’s an extraordinarily powerful persuasive tool. If you’re power hungry more poor people with the uberrich at the top doling out table scraps is a good thing.

      • AlexinCT

        I tell people that in the battle between the two totalitarian socialist ideologies of marxism and fascism, the marxist clearly lost. Marxism created a two tier system where the people in power had control of an ever dwindling pie that could not be grown because there was no incentive for the serfs to do any work at all. The fascist system where government colluded with the private sector to create a system where they use the law to promote the industries in the private sector they wanted (picking winners & losers) clearly obviated the major failure in the marxist ideology that destroyed the incentive to create new wealth. Take a close look at today’s “western democracies” and you will see this new fascist system at work.

        The USSR, which stuck to the marxist ideological purity (and practically every single other marxist system except for China), was never able to get off the ground, and ended up imploding. The Chinese CCP learned from that lesson and moved to a fascist system: one that didn’t need to bother with the illusion of freedom that the western democracies need to. And they truly have made out like bandits gaming the corrupt globalist leadership of the western world (especially in the US) to enrich the CCP and those few they let into their inner circle. The great success here happened because the CCP, smartly, also allowed the serfs to see that what they were doing would bring a better future (something that was not too hard to do at first when most of your country had a standard of living that looked like your were in the middle ages) to them. They lied about double digit growth, while running a racket that allowed them to steal IP, keep investments in China from ever leaving, and then used the money brought by outsiders thinking they were making a smart investment, to go back out and basically buy the political class in the western world. Trump threw a ratchet in that machine, but Biden will get them back on track according to the CCP itself.

        The one thing people that tell us we are not living under fascism now fail to see (or pretend is not there) is that we are basically now no longer have the reeducation/death camps and the other negative things that were associated with Nazism or Mussolini’s shit. What they never realize or purposefully hide is that today they don’t need to send you to reeducation or death camps anymore, since they now have the ability to destroy your ability to make a living. Whether it is through the social score the CCP created for its own people, or the left’s campaign in the western world to brand anyone opposing them as evil and thus to be shunned, they can simply scare most people into compliance, and ruin those that don’t to the point they are as good as disappeared.

        Couple this with the information warfare agenda, and we are heading for a dark time indeed.

    • Animal

      If you factor in cost of living, they may already be.

      • robc

        MS is still last, but not as bad looking last. FL is the new next to last. NY falls from 5th to 13th . Top 5 are ND, WY, AK, DE, NE.

        Source: a reddit post 5 years ago.

      • leon

        I’m pretty sure California is last when you adjust for cost of living.

      • robc

        No, they fell a good bit. But not all of CA is SF.

        HI fell the furthest, from top 15 to bottom 10.

      • leon

        Census supplemental poverty level has California dead last. This is a poverty level that adjusts for cost of living, something that I think should be a requirement for a measure when you are trying to gauge poverty across somewhere as diverse and big as the US.

      • Pope Jimbo

        But they don’t have to live in tacky trailers. They get to live in cool tiny apartments.

        And to be honest, I remember being stunned when I first moved down south and saw real genuine tar paper shacks out in the countryside in TN and MS. It is jarring to someone who grew up where winter can kill you if you don’t prepare your house to survive, to see houses that are built so shoddily.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Some of those trailers are actually pretty nice so long as a tornado doesn’t come your way.

      • juris imprudent

        One of my early trips to Florida blew my mind, driving down the freeway and on one side were beautiful homes and the other side had shacks. I had only seen that stark of contrast in less developed countries; had no idea it existed in my own. You usually see a much more gradual transition in economic conditions.

      • But Enough About My Pulsating, Geriatric Pecs

        Eh, when we see that happen in Canada, it usually means you’ve just driven onto a native reservation.

      • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

        Sigh… Yup.

      • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

        I worked for a window and door company that left their wares on the reserve before they had the chance to install them. Burned in a fire to keep warm. My Dad ran a company out of the same reserve and when he moved away the people torched his home. Fuck them.

      • Not Adahn

        Driving home after dropping a friend off at whatever airport is close to Ottawa, my route took me through what I guess must have been a reservation, due to the amazing density of single-wide tobbaconists and gun shops.

      • Threedoor

        Coming from Idaho I was shocked at how shoddy stuck frame houses were in TN.

    • Urthona

      Here’s one thing that isn’t getting much attention.

      My state — Texas — is currently making a strong play for Nasdaq.

      Also note, Goldman Sachs has been relocating parts of their company to other states for decades. That’s why we’re in Texas now. We used to live in Manhattan. My wife’s Goldman office is in Dallas now.

      It’s only the trading desk that has to stay in New York.

      • Mojeaux

        In the 90s, it was Atlanta that was Wall Street South.

      • Seguin

        In the mid to late 19th century, Galveston had the same nickname: “Wall Street of the South.”

        All ended in 1900 of course.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    I watched part of that pathetic football game last night. I especially liked the story about the player who was yanked off the field during pregame warmups because plague.

    What a fucking clown show this country has become.

    • Count Potato

      They need to get rid of this Tuesday and Thursday night bullshit. Professional football is played on Sundays. Except one game on Monday night, and the announcers have to drink.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Eh. If they wanted to fix Monday night football, they’d force Disney to move it to ABC and hire a decent color commentator.

        The rest of it all is just noise. The 6% overall decline this year offsets a 5% gain from last year.

      • Not Adahn

        *Ahem* you mean “commentator of color”

      • juris imprudent

        Please, please get Charles Barkley – and drunk at that.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Or an actual clone of Cosell.

      • Jarflax

        pfft, you get Jemele Hill and you WILL like it, or else.

      • juris imprudent

        or else? I’ll just stop watching.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        There is only Wednesday and Tuesday night football when a team fucks up and has an outbreak.

  13. Count Potato

    “To make room for the four new sports, Olympic officials made significant cuts to other sports, including boxing and weightlifting.

    All four new additions aim to make the Summer Olympics “more gender balanced, more youthful and more urban,” Olympic Committee President Thomas Bach said, according to the Guardian.”

    I can’t wait for the olympic poetry slam.

    • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

      And then he never watched The Olympics again.

    • AlexinCT

      Just validates my move to ignore the Olympics as a bitchfest some 2 decades ago.

    • Tonio

      I can’t wait until they eliminate medals and rankings.

      • Nephilium

        Participation Medals for all!

      • Not Adahn

        That would degrade their value. What we need is a more equitable distribution of medals. Austria is grossly overrepresented in skiing and luge at the expense of Tulavu and Brazil.

  14. Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

    “Chicken In The Corn” is the perfect morning greeting in these trying times of new, grim statistics. Thanks for the meme, Banjos!

  15. The Late P Brooks

    On Nov. 25, the court agreed, issuing a restraining order that barred the city from closing the schools. But according to Empower Wisconsin, “The same day, Bowersox sent an email to school administrators in Racine asserting the Court’s ruling ‘does not alter the status’ of the city’s Safer Racine ordinance, which only applies to the city.” She wrote, “Within this ordinance, school buildings will remain closed from November 27, 2020 through January 15, 2021.”

    “Rule of law?” they snorted. “We’ll decide what the law is.”

    • Sean

      In Russia? Heh.

    • CPRM

      Well, I guess I’m an anti-vaxxer now.

    • Plinker762

      The big takeaway from that article is that there are 3 countries that consume more alchohol per person than Russia.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        I wonder if the data from Afghanistan includes the American Embassy and its Annexes? Because there is an inhuman amount of booze consumed therein.

      • Jarflax

        Looks like Belarus, Moldova and Lithuania are the ones ahead of Russia, so the list goes:

        (white) Russia
        the land Russia stole from Romania
        Formerly Russian occupied Baltic country
        Russia

  16. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Let me be the first to say I’M READY! BRING ON THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL TCHOTCHKES!!

    Space aliens have reached an agreement with the US government to stay mum on the experiments they conduct on Earth — as well as their secret base on Mars — until mankind is ready to accept them, the former head of Israel’s space program claimed in a new interview.

    “The aliens have asked not to announce that they are here [because] humanity is not ready yet,” Haim Eshed told Israeli paper Yedioth Aharonoth, according to the Jewish Press.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      You know who else set up a secret base on a celestial body?

      • Aloysious

        I love that movie.

      • Ted S.

        Martin Landau and Barbara Bain?

      • Tres Cool

        +1999 Space

      • Tres Cool

        Planned Parenthood ?

      • Bobarian LMD

        Your anus?

      • Bobarian LMD

        Sorry, I meant “You’re anus”.

    • AlexinCT

      ALIENS??

    • Suthenboy

      “They want to first make us sane and understanding.”

      Good luck.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    How can you have fraud in a helicopter money scheme?

    Unless, of course, the plan requires that the money go strictly to political beneficiaries.

  18. Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

    So if Biden gets crowned does that mean that I need to start drinking vodka again? I remember the fallout from 2008 and that didn’t go too well.

    • Swiss Servator

      Vodka? RUSSIAN ASSET CONFIRMED!

      • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

        I lost most of my on-line compatriots and started drinking more heavily. They were mostly centrists but you know how it goes when a girl wears red on blue day.

    • Gender Traitor

      I’m allergic to penicillin. Is that my “out”?

      • Hyperion

        Join a cult and say your religion doesn’t allow it. That should cover you.

    • Hyperion

      The vaccine carries significant unknown long term because the vaccine, along with the Moderna one, are mRNA type vaccine which has never been tried before. Both are still in clinical trail. It typically takes 5-10 years to get a drug to market. There is no idea if the drug has any long term side effects and won’t be known for a year or two.

      Zombie apocalypse coming.

    • Urthona

      Pretty much true of all vaccines. I think an egg allergy is the biggest problem, right?

    • Endless Mike

      137 out of 20,000 reported and allergic reaction, compared to 111 out of 20,000 reporting the same with the placebo. Kinda seems like a scare headline to me.

  19. The Late P Brooks

    All your vaccine are belong to us

    Rich countries have bought enough Covid-19 vaccine doses to immunize their populations three times over, an international vaccine watchdog has said, but developing countries are being left behind in the global sprint to end the coronavirus pandemic.
    In 67 poorer nations, just one in 10 people can hope to receive a vaccine by the end of next year, the People’s Vaccine Alliance said on Wednesday.
    But in the developed world, where a rush to secure vaccine supplies began in the first weeks and months of the pandemic, a surplus has been ordered; with nations representing just 14% of the world’s population owning more than half of the most promising vaccines.

    ——-

    “The hoarding of vaccines actively undermines global efforts to ensure that everyone, everywhere can be protected from Covid-19,” said Steve Cockburn, Amnesty International’s Head of Economic and Social Justice. “By buying up the vast majority of the world’s vaccine supply, rich countries are in breach of their human rights obligations.”
    At least 172 countries have or are considering participating in COVAX, an initiative led by the World Health Organization that aims to provide worldwide access to effective Covid-19 vaccines, according to the body.

    But a study by Duke University’s Global Health Institute last month found that only 250 million doses have been confirmed as purchased under the scheme.

    End wealth privilege! Wealth is theft!

    These vaccines should be handed over to the UN and the WHO, for just and equitable distribution.

    • Pope Jimbo

      How much did those countries pay to help develop/test the vaccine?

      • Hyperion

        Poor folk are unable to test a vaccine, just like they are unable to get a free ID to vote.

    • rhywun

      hoarding

      I do not think that word means what you think it means.

  20. Rebel Scum

    Missouri joins “fight” alongside Texas to challenge election.

    To arms in Dixie? Ironic that this time it is in support of the Republican.

  21. Count Potato

    “Sex with Fang Fang is top secret: Dem congressman Eric Swalwell REFUSES to say if he fell for Chinese honeytrap because it’s ‘classified’ – as he blames Trump for the revelations and Don Jr calls him a national security risk

    Democrat congressman Eric Swalwell REFUSES to say if he had sex with China honeytrap spy because it is ‘classified’ as he blames the president for the revelations and Trump Jr calls him a risk to the country”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9033585/Swalwells-office-refuses-say-sex-China-honeytrap-spy-Carlson-claims-did.html

    I’m surprised the Chinese couldn’t find someone better looking out of a billion people.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Swalwell is kind of douchey looking.

      • Count Potato

        True, they would have had to find a woman who preferred sex with Swalwell over Chinese prison.

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      I’m wondering when Swalwell divorced his first wife and if this had anything to do with it.

  22. Rebel Scum

    IMPORTANT POINT REPORTERS ARE MISSING IN PA SUIT:

    The Supreme Court only denied emergency injunctive relief. In the order, it did NOT deny cert.

    @MikeKellyPA’s suit is still pending before the U.S. Supreme Court.

    They are not “missing” it. They are lying because they are propagandists and nuance ruins the narrative.

    • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

      As mentioned yesterday – Instagram Fight Club. That’s what some teens are doing right now. If I were locked away at that age I would have gone nuts.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Yup. I spent almost every non-school waking hour outside with friends at that age.

        Locking them in buildings for 8 hours a day and forcing them to suppress their natural energy is enough to drive kids nuts. Forcing them to stay in the house 24/7 is just evil.

    • Not Adahn

      Another school shooting. When will we stand up to the NRA and enact common sense gin safety policies?

      • Bobarian LMD

        common sense gin safety

        Juniper berries are the debbil!

      • Sean

        And real popular lately in these parts. The big bottles of gin keep selling out around here, at least in the brands I like.

    • Chipwooder

      My son’s best friend lives in our neighborhood, at least, and they go bike riding together or jump on the friend’s trampoline. He’d be much worse off if he didn’t have at least those times as a social activity. He’s still much more irritable and withdrawn than he usually is, and my daughter (who has no such close by friend) is having toddler-like meltdowns on almost a daily basis.

      This shit is unbelievably corrosive for children.

    • Hyperion

      Have to make omelets for the great reset you know. According to the true bleevers, about 7.5 billion omelets are needed.

    • Threedoor

      Mom didn’t teach him to tell the government to pound sand.

    • Social Justice is Neither

      So you’re saying he died of Covid?

      It is a sad but predictable outcome of locking millions up with no recourse or resources to cope.

  23. Pope Jimbo

    Uffda. Everyone in this story sure seems like a jerk.

    Officials in the west-central Minnesota town of Murdock are expected to vote Wednesday on whether to allow a controversial religious group that worships ancient Norse gods to use a former church as a regional gathering place.

    The Asatru Folk Assembly (AFA) bought an abandoned Lutheran church in the Swift County town about 110 miles northwest of Minneapolis. The Murdock City Council is debating whether to grant a conditional use permit that would allow the AFA to use the church building as a place of worship.

    Some local residents have voiced opposition due to the AFA’s pro-white beliefs. Opponents who call themselves Murdock Area Alliance Against Hate plan to rally along Highway 12 before Wednesday’s 5:30 p.m. virtual City Council meeting.

    I have to admit that I’m just assuming the Asatru people are jerks. They haven’t done anything overtly bad that I know of. The townies though sure are jerks for thinking that they have any right to tell people what they can do with property that they have purchased.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I welcome Ragnarok.

      • Pope Jimbo

        If we can sacrifice Kirk Cousins to Odin and win the Super Bowl, I’m in.

      • robc

        Would a one eyed QB be an improvement?

      • AlexinCT

        Is this some sort of euphemism?

      • juris imprudent

        I thought Odin only honored heroic sacrifices?

      • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

        I thought Odin as a Raven.

      • Not Adahn

        It was the best of the MCU Thor movies.

    • Not Adahn

      The First Amendment does not apply to white supremacists. This was clearly established in Daily Stormer v. literally all ISPs on the planet and Cloudflare, Google, et. al.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      If people want to self-segregate that’s their business and I don’t have an issue with these people wanting to do that or the Farrakhanites either for that matter. It’s not something that I would do but to each their own as long as it’s voluntary.

  24. invisible finger

    NFL viewership dropping would suggest mental health is improving.

    • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

      Disagree. NFL viewership is a very important metric when judging America’s mental health. When you have a Nation just saying “meh” to one of their cultural touchstones this can lead to very bad places.

      • invisible finger

        The NFL said “meh” to their customer, customers are reacting rationally.

      • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

        I understand that very cogent point but there are ripple effects.

      • Urthona

        As much as I like this theory, all sports viewership is way down across the board.

      • The Last American Hero

        I think it’s kind of a big deal. Their ratings are down when the country is literally under house arrest for 8 months – headed towards 16, watching reruns of CSI and NCIS.

      • Urthona

        But for all sports. You would think they wouldn’t be because people are bored but habits have been changing.

      • Nephilium

        Keep in mind, there was no March Madness. Basketball and baseball were both some abbreviated seasons (with basketball even dropping some of the teams). So those who followed the big three got out of the habit. Perhaps they found new hobbies that are giving them more satisfaction. It could also be that they’re writing off all the sports this year as the biggest asterisk year ever.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Put on a sports show and it’s “blah blah covid covid covid blah blah social justice blah blah covid covid covid.” No wonder people who are looking for entertainment are tuning out.

    • Drake

      I stopped watching after a lifetime as a fan. I just can’t bring myself to care any longer. The embedded political, medical dictatorship messages annoy the hell out of me – as does the fake crown noise. Within 5 minutes I’m looking for something else to watch or do.

    • CatchTheCarp

      I still watch occasionally in spite of living in a city that was fucked over by NFL twice. Still hoping Stan Kroenke dies in a fire.

    • Idle Hands

      It’s hard to believe that when all the other new network shows running are all people masked up for an hour talking in muffled tones. I honestly have no idea how anyone’s watching a single one of those shows.

  25. Rebel Scum

    Criminal case against Flynn finally dismissed.

    Beijing Biden will fix that.

  26. The Late P Brooks

    Martyr

    “At 8:30 am this morning, state police came into my house and took all my hardware and tech,” Jones said via Twitter. She added, “They were serving a warrant on my computer after DOH filed a complaint.”

    The Florida Department of Health is the agency that fired Jones in May, after she helped create the state’s COVID-19 dashboard.

    Jones has said she lost her job after she refused requests to manipulate data to suggest Florida was ready to ease coronavirus restrictions. A spokesperson for Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis said at the time that she “exhibited a repeated course of insubordination during her time with the department.”

    The search warrant was authorized as investigators tried to learn who sent a chat message to a planning group on an emergency alert platform, urging people to speak out publicly about Florida’s coronavirus strategies.

    The message stated, “it’s time to speak up before another 17,000 people are dead,” according to member station WFSU, citing the probable cause affidavit. The message continued, “You know this is wrong. You don’t have to be a part of this. Be a hero. Speak out before it’s too late.”

    ——-

    Jones calls the raid on her home an act of retaliation for her persistent criticisms of how Florida has handled the pandemic. She accuses DeSantis of being focused more on political concerns than stopping the coronavirus.

    “They took my phone and the computer I use every day to post the case numbers in Florida, and school cases for the entire country,” she said via Twitter. “They took evidence of corruption at the state level. They claimed it was about a security breach. This was DeSantis. He sent the gestapo.”

    ——-

    Jones insists that Monday’s search is another phase in her lingering dispute with the state, saying via Twitter, “This is what happens to scientists who do their job honestly. This is what happens to people who speak truth to power.”

    She’s trying to save lives. She should get a spot in the Ballgag administration.

    And a Presidential Medal of Freedom.

    • invisible finger

      How does one get onto Twitter if ALL their tech was taken?

      Oh, right. She’s a liar.

    • Not an Economist

      I think she is a geologist. I guess that is close enough to an epidemiologist if you say the right things.

      • The Last American Hero

        Close enough? I’d say that would require a seismic shift in her training.

      • tripacer

        She just wants to shake things up in the epidemiology world

      • Bobarian LMD

        Her reasoning may be a little rocky.

      • tripacer

        She just wants to shake things up in the epidemiology world

      • Grosspatzer

        The epidemiology world needs a little shaking up. As do the squirrels.

      • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

        It’s not her fault. She’s just trying to save lives.

    • juris imprudent

      While I have no sympathy for her politics – this is fucking state intimidation. I guess when it happens to the right people, we don’t care anymore?

      • Not Adahn

        1. RJ is a liar.

        2. States react aggressively when you hack their systems. Even the stories NPR was using to write their hagiography said that the investigation was because (allegedly) RJ made an unauthorized access of the DoH system and used it to send messages.

        Swearingen says the search warrant stemmed from a complaint by the Department of Health, “that a person illegally hacked into their emergency alert system.”

        The court affidavit says the rogue message was sent to a state planning group, in which all users “share the same username and password.” It adds that investigators were able to trace the Nov. 10 message to an IP address that is affiliated with Jones’ Comcast account.

        The affidavit adds that anyone who is no longer part of an agency involved in the planning group “are no longer authorized to access the multi-user group.”

        Jones says that despite the raid, she was not arrested or charged with a crime. But she has started a Go Fund Me page, asking for donations to pay for a new computer and “a hell of a good lawyer.” She is also seeking help in finding a new job in another state.

      • juris imprudent

        In other words, they failed to disable her legit access and now want to call that hacking. Fuck that.

      • Not Adahn

        Embrace the liberating power of “and!”

        This is not a story about the state abusing one if its citizens. This is a story about two people attempting to use the state for their own gain getting in a power struggle and one of them losing.

        This less-competent Annie Dookhan was canned back in May. Logging in in November isn’t an “oopsie.”

    • Idle Hands

      I don’t understand the people on the right disregarding her by saying bitch is crazy? This chick is just run of the mill Florida crazy not even really that insane.

  27. Count Potato

    “The Trump administration dove back into Capitol Hill’s confusing COVID-19 negotiations on Tuesday, offering a $916 billion package to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi that would send a $600 direct payment to most Americans.

    However, it would also eliminate a $300 per week employment benefit favored by a bipartisan group of Senate negotiators.

    Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin made the offer to Pelosi late Tuesday afternoon, he said in a statement.

    He offered few details, though House GOP Leader Kevin McCarthy said it proposes the $600 direct payment for individuals and $1,200 for couples, which is half the payment delivered by the March pandemic relief bill.

    Mnuchin reached out to Pelosi after a call with top congressional GOP leaders, including Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, who remains at odds with Democratic leaders over COVID-19 relief.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9031517/COVID-19-aid-balance-Congress-buys-time-talks.html

    What is needed, besides having mayors and governors having the sense not to lock everything down in the first place, is massive re-regulation. Of course, that isn’t going to happen with a Democrat in the White House.

    • CPRM

      a $300 per week employment benefit

      Wait, they’re going to send me money for being employed?

    • Count Potato

      um, deregulation not “re-regulation”

  28. Rebel Scum

    Estimated $2 billion in fraud in CA’s expanded unemployment system.

    Clearly what we need is to implement the CA model nationally. More bennies and gov’t control of the economy.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    The Asatru Folk Assembly (AFA) bought an abandoned Lutheran church in the Swift County town about 110 miles northwest of Minneapolis. The Murdock City Council is debating whether to grant a conditional use permit that would allow the AFA to use the church building as a place of worship.

    EVERYTHING NOT MANDATORY IS PROHIBITED

  30. Rebel Scum

    Gallup poll, Americans’ mental health reaches 20 year low.

    Not surprising considering the election results, fraudulent or not.

    • juris imprudent

      I’m happy with the vast majority of the election results; the people that thought they were getting a blue wave on the other hand.

      • Homple

        A Democrat House and President might as well be a blue wave because the Democrats exploit to the utmost every scrap of power they grab.

  31. Pope Jimbo

    Uffda. This is definitely not Minnesoda Nice (but since they did it anonymously, it is a great example of Minnesoda passive aggressive).

    I couldn’t help but notice your Christmas lights display. During these unprecedented times we have all experienced challenges which casual words just don’t describe what we’re feeling. The idea of twinkling, colorful lights are [sic] a reminder of divisions that continue to run through our society, a reminder of systemic biases against our neighbors who don’t celebrate Christmas or who can’t afford to put up lights of their own.

    We must do the work of educating ourselves about the harmful impact an outward facing display like yours can have. I challenge you to respect the dignity of all people while striving to learn from differences, ideas, and opinions of our neighbors. We must come together collectively and challenge these institutional inequities; St. Anthony is a community welcoming of all people and we must demand better for ourselves.

    • AlexinCT

      People watched the movie “The Grinch”, and like they did when they read “1984” or “Brave New World” decided it was a “How To” manual?

    • robc

      I assume the response was to put up 10x as many lights?

      • Nephilium

        Something akin to the Geico commercial?

    • Chipwooder

      I gotta say, it sounds fake to me. I’ve gotten to the point that I just assume these anonymous notes that make it into the news are all fake, no matter whether its racial hatred hoaxes or something more mundane like this.

      • Not Adahn

        Yup.

      • Tundra

        Ordinarily I would agree, but like His Holiness said, very Minnesota.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Yep. Feels like a teenage troll to me. If it isn’t, I’m not sure why anybody would change their behavior based on some stupid anonymous note. Just chuckle at it, toss it in the trash, and go on with life.

  32. The Late P Brooks

    Cardboard cutout “fans”.

    It’s a metaphor. So many people think of us (the unwashed powerless masses) as decorative pieces on a game board, to be moved into position as they see fit.

    • prolefeed

      #24 has that wholesome, waiting to be sullied look. Plus a great booty.

    • DEG

      #13 and #25 are the same woman, and she is the winner. She also has a good iChive gallery.

  33. Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

    Mental health-wise I’m chugging along but I haven’t lost a business that I poured my heart and soul into. Everything is a little harder today and there are plenty of people that wont stand the grind. It sucks and TPTB never gave a shit about it. That and the realization that I was completely on my own morally and ethically has been a body-blow. Fuck. There are people that seem downright gleeful regarding this nonsense. Tar and Feathers for the lot of them.

    • Nephilium

      Yeah the constantly moving goal posts, inability to plan for the future, watching places getting shut down and going under, and the realization that we’re never getting back to the before times takes a real toll.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Their response:

      Dictionary.com
      @Dictionarycom
      ·
      17h
      Replying to
      @jd_graham_

      @neontaster
      and
      @waybackmachine
      Language evolves. So do we.

      By evolving, they mean responding to the political needs of the week.

      • Rebel Scum

        This is good.

        I see you “evolved” your site logo recently as well, but I think this adjustment would have been a little more on-brand:

      • Homple

        They’re just documenting the new way we speak.

    • Rebel Scum

      Cuntes.

      Language evolves. So do we.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      It means what the left says it means. In a couple of years that will be the accepted definition so there’s no use fighting it really.

    • Count Potato

      Stupid lying assholes

      • Nephilium

        Humpty Dumpty was the one true prophet!

  34. ignoreLander

    “Republican leaders refuse to pass motion stating Biden is president-elect.”

    You Vill Axnowlidg, and You Vill Comply, Comrahd!

    Seriously, who tries to encode into “motion” that we we all accept this fraud is on the up-and-up?

    “Rep. Steny Hoyer brought the “motion to affirm that inaugural preparations”

    Oh.

    • Tundra

      That’s not the way my brain is processing the story.

    • bacon-magic

      Paging Just Sayin’.

  35. Necron 99

    Breakdancing added to 2024 Olympic games.

    In lieu of gold medal, winners will be awarded Jam Master Jay autographed parachute pants.

    • Not Adahn

      They still get medals, but instead of being on a ribbon, they’re attached to enormous gold chains.

      • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

        that one was nice.

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      The medals will look like Flava Flav’s clock.

  36. Q Continuum

    When the government prohibits people from doing the things that make life worth living, people will struggle to make life worth living.

    Our elite betters are so well-educated, I guess this concept is simply beyond them.

    • AlexinCT

      Our elites have locked us all up so they can keep doing those things that would otherwise put them at risk if the rest of us were also doing it…

      These people are scumbags.

  37. Rebel Scum

    As if Hale Whitmer has any principle or decency.

    “Governor Whitmer’s continued shutdown is hurting students and families as businesses permanently shutter and leave employees with empty pockets before the holidays. As long as the Governor is preoccupied with serving on Joe Biden’s inaugural committee and leaving Michigan families to suffer, she should forgo her taxpayer-funded salary until all Michiganders are allowed to work and make an honest living,” said Tori Sachs, executive director of Michigan Rising Action. “We believe this will lead to a better quality of decision making that balances the threat posed by the virus with the reality of Michiganders not being able to put food on the table.”

    • juris imprudent

      Remember when we were all told how much better life would be with more women in power? You know like Adern in NZ, Brown in OR, Whitmer, and of course our beloved president-in-waiting Mde. Harris?

      • R C Dean

        I would add the NM governor and the Tucson mayor to that list. I’m sure there’s others.

        They bring a certain condescending tone, as if their subjects are children who need Big Mommy to take care of them and make sure they are “safe”, that really grates on me.

  38. The Late P Brooks

    I think it’s worth considering carefully the merits of the lawsuit rather than barking in unison.

    I merely relay the WaPo headline reaction. I have no knowledge or opinion on the Texas suit. In theory, I suppose there might be some sort of Commerce Clause argument regarding election shenanigans on the part of other states.

    I had a conversation with a friend a couple of nights ago. He thinks there is a real chance that Trump might somehow be declared the winner. It doesn’t matter if I think the election was “stolen” or not. I see no likelihood the Supreme Court will ride to the rescue. At this point, cities would literally burn if Biden’s “win” were to be overturned.

    Stability will override any other concern, at this point.

    Do I think there are people who should spend serious time in pound-you-in-the-ass prison over voting irregularities? Yes. Yes I do.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      If blue areas can cheat with impunity and the courts refuse (which they will) to step in then national elections are meaningless. It’ll all come down to who can cheat the best.

      • Idle Hands

        hasn’t it always come down to who can cheat the best when elections are concerned?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Kinda but it hasn’t been so blatant. If obvious fraud and violations of election law aren’t reigned in it’s just going to be a race to the bottom.

      • R C Dean

        I really believe the cheating in the past was much more limited, only able to swing elections that were either very small and local, or very close. “Retail” cheating, if you will.

        What we are seeing now is much more industrial, with hundreds of thousands of votes that are illegitimate and likely tens of thousands that were simply discarded in some fashion.

      • juris imprudent

        Once again, PA blue areas did not cheat.

      • juris imprudent

        Or, at least anything they didn’t cheat beyond normal. Biden won outside those areas.

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      cities would literally burn if Biden’s “win” were to be overturned

      Cities will burn if Biden’s “win” is kept. It won’t be immediate but the eventual course for much larger-scale conflict than Antifa will be set.

      I still retain hope that the SC will seek to preserve the country over the short-term gain of placating Antifa. The evidence is incontrovertible that the election was rigged and sanctioning that fraud on such a large scale will be the end of the Republic. Not immediately but it’s the green light for one-party rule the same as Venezuela, Russia, etc with the same eventual consequences as any other State ruled by one party. We were already on the edge when the Dems were able to seriously propose packing the SC and adding new states, but this would seal it.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        will be the end of the Republic

        This is the basis for the Texas suit that was joined by many other states. They are suing for equal protection under the constitution, not the Commerce Clause. Without equal protection for federal elections, there is no reason for country-sized states like Texas to remain a part of the union.

      • Drake

        Not all that different from how the Roman Republic ended. Elections went from small in-person affairs on the Field of Mars, to big Italy-wide things, to “fuck-it” lets just fight instead.

      • Tundra

        It’s a long way home from the Field of Mars.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        It’s not over until it’s over but it isn’t looking good. There’s still hope but you’d best be mentally prepared for the worst.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Did the justices have to take statistics in law school I wonder? People who don’t get stats tend to think it’s all Voodoo from what I’ve seen.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Did the justices have to take statistics in law school I wonder?

        *tries to suppress snicker*

        Law school was a collection of some of the most innumerate people I’ve ever known.

      • Sensei

        They do understand 1/3rd plus expenses.

      • But Enough About My Pulsating, Geriatric Pecs

        When I attended Law School, we had a saying:

        The top third of the graduating class make the best judges and professors,
        the middle third make the best lawyers, and
        the bottom third make the best money.

      • Urthona

        It’s over.

        I sympathize with this nonsense. PA shouldn’t be allowed to change election rules with the courts and it should’ve been unconstitutional the first time. But it wasn’t and they’re not gonna rule that now.

      • juris imprudent

        That was essentially the issue in Bush v. Gore – the FL SC was going to just make shit up on the fly, and SCotUS benchslapped them (unanimously on that part, the remedy was the 5-4 decision).

      • R C Dean

        I see zero possibility that SCOTUS will stick its neck out and disqualify any of the current results.

        I see zero possibility that any state legislature will assign electors that are different from the current results.

        Doing nothing is far, far too safe for these institutions and their denizens than effectively throwing out a national election, regardless of how questionable it is.

      • Sensei

        Concur.

  39. Tejicano

    “Elon Musk moves to Texas.”

    I hope he carved “GTT” into the door of the house he was leaving in California – even if I might be the only person who would get the historical reference.

    • robc

      Nope, dont get it.

      I can only think of “croatoan”.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      “Gone to Texas”

      Associated with early nineteenth century debtors seeking to escape their obligations by fleeing the US.

      Some of us know.

      • Tejicano

        Bingo. I was hoping/half-expecting some of this crowd would know about that. Good on ya!

    • The Last American Hero

      I’d say he should have carved “Who is John Galt?” but given the taxpayer money he’s gobbled up, that wouldn’t really be accurate.

  40. The Late P Brooks

    The best part about that “vaccine distribution is unfair” whining is we all know they’d be shrieking to the high heavens about teh human guinea pigs! if the pharmas offered up a big batch of early doses to third world countries.

    • juris imprudent

      Heads I win, tails you lose.

  41. The Late P Brooks

    Outside agitators

    The weekly board meeting for the Central District Health, one of seven district health agencies in Idaho, was halted abruptly due to protests outside of their headquarters in Boise and at a few of the board members’ homes Tuesday evening.
    During the virtual meeting, which was broadcast live on the board’s YouTube page, District Director Russ Duke said he was contacted by Mayor Lauren McLean asking them to stop the meeting due to an “intense level of protesters in the parking lot and the concern for police safety and staff safety, as well as the protesters that are at some of our board members’ homes right now.”
    Christine Myron, a spokeswoman for Central District Health, told CNN that the board was set to discuss a districtwide public health order about Covid-19 restrictions across its four counties — Ada, Boise, Elmore and Valley — that they have been discussing for a number of weeks.
    A motion was made about 12 minutes into the meeting to end the session.

    ——-

    During a meeting Friday, the board presented a draft of a new public health order, which garnered 2,000 written comments before the session and 3,000 after the revisions.
    The draft, posted on the district’s website, included prohibiting gatherings of 10 or more people, requiring face coverings indoors and outdoors, prohibiting visits to jails and correctional facilities, and adding parameters for visits to long-term care facilities.
    Tuesday’s meeting ended before that could be discussed.

    ——-

    The mayor said she consulted with police when she thought things were unsafe.
    “My priority was and always will be the safety of our residents; the safety of our children home alone with protesters outside their door; of our residents charged with making public health decisions; of the staff that work at these agencies; and of our officers who put themselves between a mob of people and those tasked with protecting public health,” she said in a statement.
    She blamed people “outside our community” for stirring up trouble.

    Fucking ingrates. Don’t they understand it’s for their own good? Why are they so stupid and disrespectful?

  42. Tundra

    Good morning, Banjos!

    My carefully thought out comment disappeared into the ether and I’m too lazy to recreate it. In summary: I really enjoy your work.

    Here’s a song for you.

    Have a great day, people!

  43. The Late P Brooks

    While I have no sympathy for her politics – this is fucking state intimidation. I guess when it happens to the right people, we don’t care anymore?

    I’m not taking NPR’s word for anything.

    Needs moar corroboration.

    • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

      They just want corroboration like middle-school girls. That Suzie is slutty! Get her!

    • juris imprudent

      My comment is based on sources other than NPR – which of course seeks to make a martyr of her.

  44. Rebel Scum

    So you reveal its existence instead?

    Retired Israeli general and space security chief Prof. Haim Eshed said during an interview with Israeli newspaper Yediot Aharonot last week that extraterrestrials have been in contact with the governments of the United States and Israel for years.

    Eshed claimed U.S. President Donald Trump was on the verge of revealing this secret before the “Galactic Federation” asked him to remain silent, as the aliens are worried that humanity is not ready to learn about their existence yet.

    I though the rule was that we had to achieve warp tech.

    • CPRM

      That’s for the socialist Federation.

    • But Enough About My Pulsating, Geriatric Pecs

      I though[t] the rule was that we had to achieve warp tech.

      I say we just buy it like the Ferengi did. Saves time.

  45. LJW

    “NFL viewership drops 20% for week 13, 6% drop overall compared to 2019”

    I know a lot of you stopped watching, but I can’t. I waited my whole life for the Chiefs to win it all and they’re finally at a dynasty level. Anyways the virtue signalling/ wokeness has been kept to a minimum this season. I think the NFL is getting the point.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Considering how little there is for many people to do otherwise those numbers don’t truly capture the drop either. Hopefully they and the various leagues will get the message.

    • Nephilium

      For the Browns, the signalling appears to just be the little slogans on the back of the helmets. I can deal with that. Add that the Browns have their first 9-3 season since 1994, and a chance of making it to the playoffs…

      • juris imprudent

        Awwww, look who’s getting all built up for a let down!

      • Nephilium

        They hit the only goal I’ve wanted for the past *mumble mumble* years. A winning season. Everything else at this point is gravy.

        Of course, local media is now gaming out the ways we can win the division and make it to the Super Bowl! Forgetting that the Ravens and Stillers both whupped us like tOSU usually whups on TTUN. The Monday night game will be the one that may make me have some hope again.

    • The Last American Hero

      Aren’t they still playing Black National Anthems?

  46. The Late P Brooks

    People who don’t get stats tend to think it’s all Voodoo from what I’ve seen.

    Statistics is complicated. They’d rather rely on a number pulled out of somebod from the CDC’s ass. Those numbers are totally reliable.

  47. CPRM

    This morning/last night I remembered that The Russian Flu was a plot point in my Harvey Weinstein story because of this news story. Did I just get the country wrong but the conspiracy right?

    • CPRM

      Relevant excerpt from part 10:

      TED (CONT’D)
      So what the fuck is up with this Tim guy?

      Harvey scuttles to the other side of Ted so Tim can’t hear him and whispers.

      HARVEY
      George and Hillary, after the Vegas debacle, they decided to weaponize the flu vaccine. You see the flu vaccine carries a dead version of whatever virus the CDC suspects will be most prevalent in a given year. But that’s not what they did this year. This year all the vaccines were for the Russian Flu. Well all the real vaccines the politicians got anyway, the rest were just sugarwater.

      TED
      What?

      HARVEY
      You see, Tim here is a diabetic, and after he took the shot he knew his reaction was a diabetic one. So he decided to look into it.

      Tim starts shaking uncontrollably.

      Harvey
      Turns out all the shots designated for civilians were a sugar placebo. Only a chosen few were given access to the real vaccine against the Russian Flu.

      TED
      What the hell are you talking about you depraved piece of shit?

      Tim collapses into a diabetic coma.

      HARVEY
      Don’t you get it? The Russians are behind all of it?!

      Ted
      Electing Trump?

      HARVEY
      Fuck no! Causing chaos in American politics. When Trump said the election might be rigged, he was called crazy and paranoid. But what happened after Trump won? Hillary said the election was rigged. Now we’ve got Robert Mueller chasing us all the way from Chicago to Florida to shut us up!

      TED (holds his hand up)
      Give me sec, I need to vomit.

      HARVEY
      Yeah, you probably shouldn’t be eating solid foods yet.

      The camera pulls up in a crane shot as Ted is vomiting and Tim is having a diabetic seizure.

    • grrizzly

      The Russian Flu from the end of the 19th century?

      In 1918, older adults may have had partial protection caused by exposure to the 1889–1890 flu pandemic, known as the “Russian flu”.

  48. Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

    Present for all of you that like bluegrass music (it’s for Banjos). Suthen, you will like this. https://youtu.be/rvnFYmN-up0

    • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

      I’ve played this one before but I first heard it in the weirdest of circumstances. Back in 1988 we drove a group of retards up into the mountains and this song was playing when I nearly hit a grizzly bear with the short bus. Enjoy! https://youtu.be/xN1mfwY7gsQ

  49. Lord Humungus

    Hello, everyone!

    The Michigan lockdown continues apace. The Gov. Whitmer twitter account was filled with little “thank you for saving our lives” comments. I swear people are frickin’ little lemmings ready to jump off the bridge.

    I’ve been job hunting – it’s been so long I forgot how much I hate headhunters. At least – when I score a contract position – I’ll be making more coin than my salaried job. However part of me just can’t go back to that same IT world. I would rather do something with my hands or become an Uber driver. A task a little more mindless since I’m still so burnt out after 25+ years of doing support related IT work.

    If anyone cares, I came out with a new album which has several tracks that I’m quite pleased with.

    Aggie the greyhound, the Ferrari of dogs, continues to cost us money. Yesterday it was sedation and x-rays to check out a knee that is giving her some pain. She is such a lovely dog, both in looks and personality, that I don’t mind at all. (not that I would mind for any pet. I once spent $1k on an emergency operation for a 6mo cat).

    I’ve been staying low, politics and news-wise, which has been healthier for my mental well-being. But a thought – if Biden become prez, which is very likely, the Dems are still charging forward with their crazy left plans, acting like they won the lotto on the last election. Bill Clinton understood when he got smacked down and “adjusted” accordingly. Not so now. There is no moderation.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      “the Dems are still charging forward with their crazy left plans”

      Ah, the Virginia model…

      • Rebel Scum

        Speaking of VA, I heard that McLowlife was threatening to run for governor again. I thought one could only grift serve one term. Is that one term consecutively and is there a limit to how many terms overall?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        No consecutives, no limit overall.

      • Chipwooder

        Oh joy!!! Well, he’s boxed in – Warner and Kaine *shuddering* aren’t going anywhere, and the Human Oil Slick wouldn’t lower himself to running for a lowly House seat, so governor is all he’s got. Plus, Fairfax is a rapist and Herring a loathsome scumbag, so the Dems don’t have an obvious choice next time.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Meanwhile the GOP is standing around with their dicks in their hands, insisting on a convention instead of a primary, so they can choose yet another unelectable candidate.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        They know exactly what they’re doing and don’t want to win, it’d fuck up the grift.

      • Idle Hands

        Just as the VA dems are the model for other dem carpet baggers elsewhere so are are the VA gop the future of that party.

      • juris imprudent

        What did they do – study up on the California Republicans (they who wrote the book How to Become a Permanent Minority Party).

      • Idle Hands

        they all went to the same CIA classes in Langley. It’s incredible the amount of people who worked in the intelligence services in some capacity and than moved into politics in this area.

      • Chipwooder

        They got flabby over two decades of running the show, and now they’re loaded with a bunch of featherbedders who couldn’t give two shits about anything other than retaining their own seat.

      • Rebel Scum

        insisting on a convention

        Heard about that. And Kirk Cox was on the radio this morning hating on Amanda Chase because she is going to run independent and continue the ‘fracturing’ of the party. It needs to be fractured. The VA GOP is useless.

    • mrfamous

      Lemmings are far more independent minded than those people.

      One of the more maddening myths out there is that lemmings commit mass suicide. We all should have known just how evil Disney was after that, but somehow…

    • Nephilium

      Look towards what happened in VA, especially if the Dems wind up taking the Senate.

    • Tundra

      Ayatollah of rock’nrolla!

      I’m glad things are well in your world. And I feel your pain – I just dropped $2K on my 13 yo sheepdog yesterday. It’s the way it is.

      Good luck with the job search. I like the idea of a change of profession.

      • But Enough About My Pulsating, Geriatric Pecs

        Half a grand two days ago to figure out my pup has a urinary tract infection.

        At least the vet threw in the antibiotic prescription for that price.

        We do love us our pups, don’t we?

      • Sensei

        Yeah, but that was Canadian money, right?

      • But Enough About My Pulsating, Geriatric Pecs

        No, we used real money.

        Y’know, Canadian Silver Maple Leafs, four-nines fine.

    • Not Adahn

      Rufus has abandoned us.

  50. The Late P Brooks

    Whycome you no tow lion?

    While hospitalized with COVID-19, on Tuesday, Rudy Giuliani, the personal lawyer of President Donald Trump, called into a radio program to criticize the widespread use of face masks and social distancing restrictions to prevent future coronavirus outbreaks. He also said that COVID-19 is “curable” even though it has killed over 285,000 Americans.

    On Sunday, Giuliani was admitted to the Georgetown University Medical Center in Washington, D.C. after testing positive for COVID-19. Two days later, he called into his own daily radio program on WABC-AM in New York to provide an update of his medical care. The program’s interviewer asked if contracting the virus had changed his view of its handling by political leaders.

    “Things happen in life and you have to go with them,” Giuliani said. “You can overreact to them. Otherwise, you let the fear of illness drive your entire life. So I’ve never overreacted to it…. I’d rather face risk than live in a basement all my life.”

    Giuliani then said that state shutdown measures mean to prevent COVID-19 outbreaks are “destroying American small business in five or six or seven major cities,” adding, “I’ve been watching that on television. It’s probably getting me angrier than anything else.”

    ——-

    A WABC interviewer then asked Giuliani how he felt about President-elect Joe Biden’s plea for Americans to wear masks for 100 days after his inauguration.

    “I think you can overdo the masks,” Giuliani said. “You can overdo almost anything. Everything done in moderation makes much more sense. And what we’re doing to American business right now is disgraceful, and it’s not based on science. This is a curable disease at this point… the mortality rates are nothing like they were five, six months ago.”

    While the national COVID-19 mortality rate has declined since the pandemic began, the total number of deaths is rising. The mortality rate’s decline may have been caused by improved medical care or a decrease in the average age of people with COVID-19, Dr. Barry J. Make, a pulmonologist and critical care specialist at National Jewish Health told the website Healthline.

    Not even Ghouliani can be wrong all the time. He’ll never get invited to submit an opinion piece for the NYT saying stuff like that.

    Also- nice work on the disclaimer, Newsweek. Totals rise. What a revelation.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Rudy’s a jackass but he most certainly isn’t a wuss.

    • Not Adahn

      He also said that COVID-19 is “curable” even though it has killed over 285,000 Americans.

      Whoever invented this little rhetorical trick of splicing non-sequiturs as if they’re related needs to be tortured to death, even if it requires inventing time travel to do it.

      NPR LOVES the shit out of it.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        It’s the more passive aggressive version of “without evidence”

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Yes they do.

        They employ one at least every ten minutes in their news.

      • leon

        I was about to say this sometimes I think they do it just to get people focused on the non-sequiter while they try to sneak some other argument.

        But I don’t think they are playing that deep?

    • Rebel Scum

      He also said that COVID-19 is “curable” even though it has killed over 285,000 Americans.

      And there is no context such as age/comorbidities, asinine decisions by governors and method of tally that need be considered.

      • juris imprudent

        Those things do not drive FEAR!

        Also, on a completely unrelated note – we are having our first snow of the season, which I don’t believe was forecast. Thus because the weather model did not say it was going to snow – it must not be snowing.

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      “the total number of deaths is rising”

      Which is what cumulative numbers do.

      • Sean
      • trshmnstr the terrible

        “the total number of deaths is falling”

        *institutes zombie protocols*

      • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

        Or they were all a bunch of Mexican guys named Jesus.

  51. Mojeaux

    Banjos, the amount of derp you have amassed this morning and consolidated is mind-boggling and quite impressive.

  52. Lord Humungus

    So how many new members (ahem Tulpa!) do we have since I took my ill-dated break from Glibs?

    • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

      Some come, some go. Sorry for the comment above.

      • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

        I’m being sincere. I did that for a couple of years and sometimes black humor was the only way to get by. Anything that I say in that vein is colored by personal experience. I hated that you two left and that it might be partially blamed on my verbal diarrhea. I always wanted to apologize for that. Doesn’t mean that I’ll stop making those jokes, though. Forewarned is forbearance.

    • The Other Kevin

      That’s a good question. I see a lot of new names. But then I found out everyone is the same age as me and we like the same music, thus confirming we are all Tulpa.

      • Lord Humungus

        So many Nickelback fans here.

      • Threedoor

        They are good live.

      • CPRM

        I saw them live before their 3rd album came out, can confirm. I did not get invited back to the bus, I did not have a cowboy hat nor was I hot chick.

      • Nephilium

        You like Ted’S music?

        You’re a monster!

    • Idle Hands

      I don’t think it’s tulpa so much as many people going insane and creating alt accounts from the isolation/catching the ro.

  53. Lord Humungus

    Some photos of my greyhound. And yes Imgur which doesn’t work for some people.

    One

    Two

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      A selfie and a boudoir pose?

      • Lord Humungus

        more like a roach pose

    • R C Dean

      You people who let your dogs on the furniture. I just can’t even.

      • But Enough About My Pulsating, Geriatric Pecs

        “Let”?

        You’re so cute.

      • Mojeaux

        I do not care for dogs. But if I did, I would make sure they could not be on the furniture by themselves, i.e., not being in our lap.

        IIRC, I believe the Dean Beasts are well trained in this regard.

      • R C Dean

        I’ve had pit bulls for 30 years. If I can keep them off the furniture, you can keep any dog off the furniture.

  54. trshmnstr the terrible

    *sigh* it’s so much fun when people are urgently pinging you on IM before your computer is finished booting up the day after returning from vacation.

    • LemonGrenade

      … at least they’re waiting til you return from vacation? I’ve answered work requests from Pike’s Peak.

      • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

        Asshoes always get me about 7:30 in the morning. I work nights.

  55. The Late P Brooks

    Heroes

    Days after vowing to target coronavirus super spreader events, the Los Angeles County sheriff announced 158 arrests tied to an underground party in Palmdale, where officers recovered guns, drugs and a juvenile sex trafficking victim.
    Deputies broke up a party Saturday night at a vacant house the party organizers had broken into, Sheriff Alex Villanueva said, calling the event “a flagrant violation of the governor’s health order.”
    Officers took six firearms from the scene and rescued a 17-year-old girl who Villanueva said had been a commercially sexually exploited.
    “Had we done the normal approach, break up the party before, the same victim would have been taken to the next location, so this actually rescued her from that,” Villanueva said at a news conference Tuesday. “She would have been passed down to the next party.”

    The county and other California regions went under a stay-at-home order late Sunday in an effort to bring down the soaring number of Covid-19 hospitalizations around the state. The orders, mandated by the governor, went into effect after intensive care unit capacity fell below 15% in Southern California and the San Joaquin Valley.
    Officers arrested 120 adults and 38 juveniles, including the “entire organizing network,” Villanueva said. He described the group as “elusive.”
    The sheriff said the organizers broke into the home and used a rental truck to move in their party equipment.
    “This is how brazen this operation was,” Villanueva said.

    Brazen criminality. Sounds like a low budget movie of the week plot.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Maybe the right will get it through their thick heads that cops can’t be trusted, that they’ll simply do what they’re told no matter how unconstitutional it may be.

    • R C Dean

      Deputies broke up a party Saturday night at a vacant house the party organizers had broken into. . . . Officers took six firearms from the scene and rescued a 17-year-old girl who Villanueva said had been a commercially sexually exploited.

      But the real problem is that nobody was wearing a mask.

  56. The Late P Brooks

    A record 10,500 patients are hospitalized in the state, California Health and Human Services Secretary Mark Ghaly said Tuesday. The number of new infections is also soaring, with daily case counts doubling in the past two weeks.

    “Moving forward, we will additionally be conducting targeted enforcement on super-spreader events,” the sheriff tweeted Thursday.

    We will root out this so-called “resistance” and we will crush anyone who dares oppose our rule.

    • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

      Every government health department seems to have forgotten the word endemic. It’s here, it’s queer, get used to it.

      • Gustave Lytton

        That’s not what endemic means, and the current rates are well above what an endemic state would look like. It will recede to that point, one way or another, but it’s no where near that yet.

    • rhywun

      If the rest of the country hasn’t prepared in the six-plus months since this peaked in NY, they’re idiots.

  57. Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

    So “break-dancing” in the Olympics is the new Debate Club? Loud, flashy and nonsense?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      If that isn’t editorializing, I don’t know what is.

  58. Rebel Scum

    Declinin’ Biden
    Shouldn’t you be hidin’?

    Joe Biden defeated AGAIN by the Teleprompter.

    “For Secretary of Health and Education Services, I nominate Xavier Bacheria.”

    Joe Biden is a mess.

    It’s Health and Human Services.

    And it’s Xavier Becerra.

    Biden doesn’t know the the cabinet office or name of the official.

    Since when do we nominate people before 1) actually being elected and 2) are sworn in and take office.

    • Urthona

      He didn’t say education services. He said a slur that sounded kinda like that?? maybe?

  59. Idle Hands

    this week has been such a retarded news cycle.

    https://wtop.com/fairfax-county/2020/12/falls-church-school-board-votes-unanimously-to-change-names-of-2-schools/

    The Falls Church School Board in Virginia voted 7-0 to change the names of Thomas Jefferson Elementary and George Mason High Tuesday night.

    The vote comes despite an October community survey that found 56% opposition to changing the school names.

    This district is voting to spend money on changing school names while at the same time bitching about not having enough money to go back to school safely.

    • Rebel Scum

      I wonder how much the name change will cost. Also, it is fucking retarded to remove the names of two of the most historically prominent Virginians from schools…in Virginia.

      Everything in the state is going to have to be renamed at the rate we are going.

      • Chipwooder

        I’m just waiting for when UVA starts erasing Jefferson from everything. That will shape up to be quite an administration vs. alumni battle royale.

  60. DEG

    I guess Congress could still reject Pennsylvania’s electors in January, but it feels like even more of an uphill battle without the Supreme Court having declared the law state law unconstitutional.

    The Democrat controlled House will not vote to reject any Biden electors.

    As for the lack of denial of cert, that’s surprising.

    He said that election management in Georgia, Michigan, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin—the states named in the suit—directly impacted voters in the his state. In particular, he pointed to changes that were made to expand mail-in voting amid the coronavirus pandemic.

    Prediction: Nothing will happen.

    The latest example comes courtesy of California. A new report from Bank of America, which contracts with the state, estimates that more than $2 billion in fraud is plaguing the state’s expanded pandemic unemployment benefits system. The bank has identified 640,000 potentially fraudulent accounts.

    Feature, not bug. How else can the grifters get their money? Leave bundles of cash in a freezer?

    • R C Dean

      As for the lack of denial of cert, that’s surprising.

      Its a little early to declare it moot. If they really wanted to do anything, it would have to be to issue the preliminary injunction. Without that, certification goes forward and SCOTUS can just wash their hands of the whole thing.

      • DEG

        OK.

        I’m with you – nothing changing the election comes of these court cases.

  61. Idle Hands

    https://twitter.com/nytimes/status/1336317129197563905

    Here’s why vaccinated people will still have to wear a mask-

    The coronavirus vaccines will probably prevent you from getting sick with Covid-19. But it’s not yet clear whether you can still get infected asymptomatically and silently spread the virus.

    We all knew this was coming. It’s only two weeks to slow the spread, it’s just a mask, only have to isolate and mask up till vaccine, back to just a mask.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      That thread is a hivemind of submission.

      • Idle Hands

        This whole thing has been rather eyeopening. Pretty much everyone I know would be peachy keen fine with slavery or jew extermination and even if they weren’t they would never publicly be seen denouncing it.

      • Ownbestenemy

        How many people would respond that anyone not taking the vaccine should be isolated from society completely until they have taken it?

        I would wager a large chunk of our fellow citizens would be okay with this.

      • Idle Hands

        a sufficient enough number to make it a viable and accepted policy.

    • Idle Hands

      in other vaccine news this is the greatest thing ever

      https://news.yahoo.com/russians-told-not-drink-alcohol-191100443.html

      shots, no chaser.

      That’s the message Russian officials have for citizens who receive the Sputnik V vaccine for COVID-19, according to the Moscow Times.

      The nation’s deputy prime minister Tatyana Golikova recommends that Russians who receive vaccines abstain from immunosuppressants like alcohol for 42 days. The Sputnik V vaccine is administered in two phases given 21 days apart.

      lmao good luck comrades.

    • EvilSheldon

      So, no reason to get vaccinated then? Not that I was planning to in any case, but it’s still good to know.

      • Idle Hands

        Only to travel or if your companies insurance refuses to cover it unless everyone vaxes up.

      • Idle Hands

        once again much of this complete and utter bullshit would have been mitigated if congress passed a blanket covid liability protection for all business’s. It’s absolutely inexcusably insane they didn’t and leads me to go into alex jones territory at least 3-5 times a day.

    • R C Dean

      it’s not yet clear whether you can still get infected asymptomatically and silently spread the virus.

      Its actually clear that you can’t, or at least not in any meaningful way. Its like we have forgotten everything we knew about virology and immunology.

      This is actually a big part of the reason why we aren’t mandating the ‘Vid vaccine. For the flu, if you don’t take it (due to a doctor’s note or religious objection), you have to wear a mask. For the ‘Vid, you have to wear a mask anyway, so about the only thing we can do is fire you. Since way too many of our employees won’t take the vaccine, we can’t afford to “mandate” it. We can’t fire 1/3 of our employees and stay in business.

      And yes, hospital clinical staff, especially nurses, can easily find another job.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Just go after refuseniks at the licensing board. Good luck getting another licensed job without one.

        /maskista approach

      • Idle Hands

        we forgot everything we knew in march and at this point that’s ancient history.

      • Idle Hands

        this is a new scientific age of enlightenment. The old ways of science are dead and archaic.

      • Idle Hands

        *reformation

      • Sensei

        That’s interesting.

        My company is trying to formulate its return to the office policy and vaccination is playing into that. That a hospital isn’t making this mandatory is a useful datapoint.

        Mrs Sensei, RN would concur about demand. And she also has an earful to say about the current crop of whiny nurses. She was taking care of AIDs patients before effective treatment and when transmission was not well understood. She viewed that as part of what she signed up for when she went into nursing.

    • mrfamous

      This falls under one of my favorite pessimist phrases: “I’m really tired of being right.”

      • juris imprudent

        My formulation is I hate being right about things for which I’d rather be wrong.

  62. The Late P Brooks

    This district is voting to spend money on changing school names while at the same time bitching about not having enough money to go back to school safely.

    I won’t take them seriously until they demolish the schools and salt the earth.

    • Idle Hands

      noone is safe from the purges.

  63. Sensei

    So a hacker and Tesla owner (and rational fan) has exposed the developer options for its autopilot self driving. What’s interesting is seeing what features are turned off and that isn’t current capable of doing versus what all the fanboys have claimed that it IS doing.

    https://twitter.com/greentheonly/status/1336467014727110656?s=21

  64. Lord Humungus

    Welp I started early today with Vanilla vodka mixed with ginger beer.

    • Idle Hands

      It’s never too early.

    • DEG

      It’s my last day of work before vacation. I’m going to make a boozy coffee.

    • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

      I start hitting the beer as soon as I get home. No shame in that. Mind you, aside from you guys I have no life.

  65. EvilSheldon

    Hooray! My 2021 9mm bullet hoard has shipped! Just in time, too, as I’m about out of 9mm practice ammo.

    Powder and primers continue to be in very short supply, but bullets seem to be fairly available if you’re willing to wait.

    The next time small pistol primers drop below $0.03/ each, I’m buying another 50k…

    • Sean

      Nice.

  66. The Late P Brooks

    Stronger together, like when you take weak thin sticks and bundle them together

    Capitalism met Catholicism on Tuesday, as some of the world’s biggest business leaders announced a new partnership with Pope Francis.

    The alliance, known as the Council for Inclusive Capitalism with the Vatican, aims to create a more inclusive, fair and sustainable economic landscape by taking pledges toward sustainable development goals focused on areas such as climate action, peace and justice, quality education and gender equality.

    “An economic system that is fair, trustworthy, and capable of addressing the most profound challenges facing humanity and our planet is urgently needed,” Pope Francis said in a statement.

    The Council comprises 27 core members known as the Guardians of Inclusive Capitalism, who represent companies with over $2.1 trillion in market capitalization and 200 million workers.

    What would Jesus do? He’d whip the Pope with a knotted plow line and drive him naked into the gutter.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      *head desk*

    • juris imprudent

      Guardians of Inclusive Capitalism

      What a shitty movie that was.

    • Chipwooder

      Meanwhile, the Commie Pope doesn’t say a word about the jailing of China’s most prominent Catholic.

    • Not Adahn

      Stronger together, like when you take weak thin sticks and bundle them together

      You’re just a faggot unless you’ve got an axe for a core.

    • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

      WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE! Well sure, eventually.

    • Pope Jimbo

      I’m sure that after everyone is vaccinated there will be a shit storm when they discover that minorities still are harder hit than others. Won’t matter that numbers are down across the board and that minorities were harder hit before vaccines.

      Class action law suits for sure.

  67. KOVIDKristen

    Network outage at work. Yay.

    Good what’s left of the morning!

  68. Ownbestenemy

    Not to boast or anything but today is my b-day. WFH and I know I need to be in a ready state but my coffee is boozy to celebrate my mom passing a 9lb big headed lazy child out of her

    • Sean

      Happy Birthday!

    • Mojeaux

      w00t! Happy birthday!

    • db

      Sounds like your Mom achieved her stretch goals. Cheers!

    • DEG

      Happy Birthday!

      • Ownbestenemy

        Ha! Fun note, our equipment has actually ran better without us always sticking our hands in it.

        If our trolls were half as cool as Billy Bob ai would enjoy my job better and yes…you’re right

    • The Other Kevin

      Happy birthday! Now we’re all the same age!

    • Creosote Achilles

      Happy Birthday!

    • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

      Happy Birthday! Mine is tomorrow! You must have been the twin that I didn’t eat in the womb. You escaped.

  69. The Late P Brooks

    We just need to call it something else

    The chief medical officer at Presbyterian Healthcare Services, Dr. Jason Mitchell, told CNBC that doctors are doing “everything we can do” to prevent rationing care as his state’s governor signed an executive order that moved New Mexico a step closer to rationing care at any place where patients are being treated for coronavirus.

    “It’s really important to recognize that as we move into a crisis standard of care, the goal is to expand services so we don’t have to ration,” Mitchell said. “Additionally, we’ll use places we don’t normally use, whether that’s tents or clinics to put hospital beds, we really will do everything. That’s what we’re focused on, is trying to do everything so that you don’t get to that point.”

    The Albuquerque doctor added that hospitals will bring in physicians and nurses that typically practice in clinics, as well as rotating doctors who do not typically work in ICUs. ICUs in New Mexico hit 103% capacity, the highest in the country. 935 people are hospitalized with Covid in New Mexico, with hospitalizations more than doubling over the past month, according to the Covid Tracking Project.

    Mitchell said that a group of physicians, nurses, ethicists and academics were working on an equitable way to potentially ration care to ensure that healthcare providers can give as many resources to as many people as possible.

    “The other important thing is that we all do it together, so every healthcare organization uses the same criteria, the same mechanisms to ensure that equity, and to ensure that patients are distributed across the state, and that we give as much care and save as many lives as we can,” said Mitchell in a Tuesday evening interview on “The News with Shepard Smith”.

    Putting ethicists and academics in charge of health care will guarantee the best outcomes, you betcha.

    It’s not socialized medicine, though. That doesn’t poll so well.

    • Idle Hands

      I’d like a demographic breakdown of how many of those hospitals were in border towns and how many of those patients are actually us citizens or residents.

      • Sean

        #metoo

  70. db

    FAA is dithering on whether getting the COVID vaccine will invalidate pilots’ medical certificates. You can’t legally fly without a medical certificate, so…

    • Sensei

      Certainly not commercially.

      • db

        I glossed over the whole BasicMed thing.

  71. But Enough About My Pulsating, Geriatric Pecs

    For Q. Model’s name on Instagram is “jazlynskyy”. THICC in a good way.

    • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

      Good lord! That’s like “parcel babe” where I work. Try not to look. I dare you!

      • DEG

        She’s hot.

      • Pope Jimbo

        My buddies and I were at a party when I lived in Memphis. In the kitchen we ran into several gals. One of the gals had a similar build to that model. She was wearing a low cut shirt that showed off her assets and they were covered in freckles.

        My buddy said “Nice freckles!” and the temperature dropped 20 degrees.

        Puzzled we finally looked up and the gal didn’t have a single freckle above her neck. She and her friends were not amused. On the other hand we all burst into gales of laughter. Since we had already blown our shot with her and her friends, we didn’t even try to cover up how funny we thought our piggishness was.

      • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

        I have similar stories.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Anti-Q video (NSFW-lite)

      Thank doG for the ability to fast forward through videos. Otherwise her blathering on and on about grundies would make the few minutes she spends modeling said sexy unmentionables not worth it.

      • Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

        You just killed me. Thanks Anti-Pope. Thanks a lot.

  72. Festus' Mustache's tits keep calm and carry on.

    Alright, I’m out. Have a great one people and try not to let The Man get you down! Yoga pants at work. Good lord.