The Mother Sauces: Hollandaise

by | Jan 21, 2021 | Cooking, Food & Drink, LifeSkills, Recipes | 267 comments

For our new video feature, KK and I decided to start with that star of brunches everywhere hollandaise.

Hollandaise is an emulsion of eggs and butter, flavored with lemon.  Some recipes call for mustard and cayenne pepper as well, but Kristen’s recipe is pure lemon, eggs, butter and salt.

Kristen’s Hollandaise

  • 5 egg yolks
  • 5-6 tablespoons of lemon juice or more
  • 1 cup butter
  • 1/8 teaspoon of salt

We used our sauce to make eggs benedict, but other common uses of hollandaise are fish, chicken and even steak.  Or just do shooters.

For you Mojeaux

L0b0t’s favorite sauce – béarnaise, is a variation of hollandaise. Substitute white wine and champagne vinegar for the lemon juice, and add finely chopped shallots and finely chopped fresh tarragon.

About The Author

KK and Tulip

KK and Tulip

KromulentKristen: practically passable in every way. Tulip: a literary figment of your imagination.

267 Comments

  1. Mojeaux

    Beverage.

    • Tulip

      Did you read the alto text?

      • Mojeaux

        I see no alt text, but I do see “shooters.” I was agreeing.

      • Count Potato

        I’m not seeing alt text either.

      • rhywun

        Me neither but I just switched to The Edge so I thought that was it.

      • Count Potato

        The Irish guy with the Korg SDD-2000?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Brave, works better, more secure, built in Tor

      • rhywun

        ?‍♀️ I’ll give it a try some time.

        I haven’t been a regular (outside of work) user of Windows in 14 years so I have time. This machine that I haven’t used in 3 or 4 years had Chrome on it and well, that won’t do any more.

        Interestingly, work switched from Chrome to The Edge after New Year’s. It’s surprisingly not bad. I remember the IE days.

      • Count Potato

        Lots of sites won’t accept TOR though.

      • Tundra

        I’ve had no trouble with Brave.

      • Tulip

        dammit! It was supposed to say “For you, Mojeaux”

      • Old Man With Candy

        And now it does. WordPress’s idea of “alt-text” is different than normal people’s. So your alt-text goes in another box, something image attribute something.

      • Tulip

        Thank you!

      • Count Potato

        Go check out Tonio’s article.

      • Mojeaux

        w00t!

        Thank you, MLWs!

    • Trigger Hippie

      …hollandaise makes me retch…

      *ducks*

      • C. Anacreon

        You wouldn’t say that if you tried the recipe they use in Nome, Alaska.

        There’s no place like Nome for the Hollendaise.

      • C. Anacreon

        Dammit, should have scrolled down first. Nome is still better than Chrome though.

  2. westernsloper

    Nice work!

    • westernsloper

      Also, will try but it sounds way lemony. I have only done the double boiler routine with a lot less lemon. The Canadian bacon are the biggest slabs I have ever seen. #drool……I poach eggs in not so much water and drizzle the hot water over the egg. egg rings help also so you don’t get egg drop soup. The video made my hungry. Thanks!

  3. SP

    Charming!

    • KromulentKristen

      I think you’ll like the next one, too. I gotta get to editing this weekend.

  4. blackjack

    I just got home from work, so I’m hitting the sauce too.

    • rhywun

      ??

      • AlexinCT

        x3

  5. westernsloper

    Has anyone coined the term Presidementia yet?

    • Don escaped Qanon

      don’t recall

    • Bobarian LMD

      Not since Reagan died!

    • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

      Copyright it before it’s too late!

  6. pistoffnick

    Ya makin’ me hungry!

  7. Aloysious

    I’m drooling.

    Thanks for this.

    Belated thank you to KK for the Dick Dale article. Love that guy.

  8. Tundra

    Would.

    Thank you.

  9. The Hyperbole

    Nerds! …wait, that’s not right.

    You have far too many gadgets on your counter. Is that an electric knife sharpener? for shame.

    • Tulip

      It is an electric knife sharpener. It is fast, convenient, and good enough. I hate sharpening knives on a stone.

      • Count Potato

        I use a Chef Choice 4643. It works great, and no electricity needed.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I just got a lansky but haven’t tried it out yet. The mount was on backorder and I just received it today.

      • Bobarian LMD

        I’ve got a ceramic V sharpener like that, but I think calling it a sharpener is wrong. It is a good hone, but it won’t really sharpen a dull blade.

        Great for keeping a sharp knife sharp, though.

        i keep my electric wheel sharpener for fixing dull knives/scissors and can use it for the yard implements as well.

    • westernsloper

      I also think that switch and plug is too close to the sink to pass code.

      • westernsloper

        I see I might be wrong. GFCI FTW. Add that to the things I learned today.

  10. one true athena

    mmm looks delicious!

    Also I am jealous you get to hang out! Together! In person!

  11. trshmnstr the terrible

    “casually standin’ around whisking a little bit”

    Something, something phrasing.

    Seriously though, this is awesome! thanks for putting it together! I’ve never made a hollandaise, but it’s now on my to-do list for next week’s breakfast for dinner night.

    • KromulentKristen

      Something, something phrasing.

      Oh. You poor summer child. Just wait til the next installment

      • db

        “do you want to show ’em what it’s like in the bottom, too?”

  12. The Other Kevin

    This place just keeps getting classier. Very well done, and something I will try.

    Hopefully SP has programmed a kill switch so when the feds come knocking everything gets deleted except cooking, gardening, and art.

  13. westernsloper

    Dinner tonight: The finest coconut shrimp found in your grocers freezer over the finest Asian salad found in your grocers bagged salad section.

    Step 1: Put half the bag of coconut shrimp into air fryer basket and air fry till crispy.
    Step 2: While shrimp is cooking open bagged salad and use half of contents to make a salad. Add extra dashes of red wine vinegar because it is good. (ziplock the remainder of the salad bag for tomorrow)
    Step 3: Dump cooked shrimp on salad and eat. (throw shrimp tails at the trashcan across the room from your tv chair)
    Step 4: Go to bed leaving dirty salad bowl in front of TV chair.
    #cookingforone

    • Trigger Hippie

      I’m one of those weird people who likes coconut but only as a stand alone food. Every time I eat something with it as a main ingredient I find myself thinking: “This doesn’t work.”

      Different strokes and all.

      Myself, I had deli sliced Buffalo chicken with swiss on a wholewheat hoagie.

      • rhywun

        To me, coconut is only tolerable inside chocolate.

      • Old Man With Candy

        You are both horribly damaged people.

      • Trigger Hippie

        True, but what about my views on coconut?

      • rhywun

        You’re not wrong.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Heh. Almond Joy and Russel Stover assorted mystery chocolates, FTW!

        I can handle that if those are my only choices. Given other options, not so much.

    • KromulentKristen

      I’ll be there in about 10 hours.

      (eggs, toast & OJ for me tonight)

      • Trigger Hippie

        Please don’t think I was shitting on your article. It’s just one of those things I don’t dig on. I promise, I have mostly positive things to say about the other sauces. Keep em coming!

      • westernsloper

        You going skiing? I thought that was off for this year?

      • westernsloper

        Aaaah, ya. You picked a good year to skip here. Might get some high snow this weekend but it has been a bit dry.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      In his defense, he can’t remember if he had chocolate or vanilla for his mid-afternoon pudding cup.

      • Homple

        Biden has nothing to do with it, other than read a proclamation off a teleprompter and scribble his name on whatever paper is handed to him by one of his minders.

        This will give the economy another good whacking.

        By the way, it’s no surprise.

      • westernsloper

        Ya, that is the thing. Presidementia is not running shit. We are being ruled by a gaggle of progressive evil people now.

      • blackjack

        Pretty sure he remembers exactly what ” No More Tears” shampoo smells like.

      • C. Anacreon

        His favorite brand was always “Gee, You Hair Smells Terrific!”

    • The Other Kevin

      My MIL is one of those low information voters who just watches 30 minutes of nightly news. Already today she said “why did he open the border? covid is still a problem.” We’re going to have some fun conversations in the coming months.

      • Viking1865

        COVID won’t be a problem soon.

      • rhywun

        I heard CNN took down their death count.

  14. limey

    Saucy birds!

    Nice timepiece, K.

  15. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Thanks. I should bitch less and cook more.

    • Tulip

      Multitask – bitch while cooking!

      • blackjack

        Or, you can do like my Italian side of the family and bitch about the cooking while having huge arguments about each individual aspect of the process. The food always came out excellent, but the intensity of the arguments was sometimes scary. Stupid stuff like you cut the peppers too big.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        “I’m stirrin’ the sauce!”

      • Akira

        Mafia movies and novels are directly responsible for my weight gain. Always putting me in the fucking mood for Sunday gravy with meatballs, baked ziti, gabagool, Neapolitan pizza, all washed down with a bottle of vino of course.

        Several years ago I binge-watched The Sopranos, and I was seriously 10 pounds heavier at the end.

  16. Annoyed Nomad

    A bit of intellectual insight from my 5 year old granddaughter today: “I’m not so good at cleaning. I am good at … playing.”

    Yes darlin’, aren’t we all.

    • Tundra

      Fuckin’ A.

      • Tundra

        +2 chicks at the same time

      • R C Dean

        – 1 case of the Mondays

      • KromulentKristen

        +I could never get the hang of Thursdays

  17. westernsloper

    Shrimps done adios. Thanks for the post KK and Tulip

  18. Animal

    In some parts, it’s traditional to serve Eggs Benedict on a hubcap on Christmas morning.

    Because there’s no place like chrome for the Hollandaise.

    • Creosote Achilles

      Can I get a Swiss over here!?

      • blackjack

        He’ll have to narrow his gaze, because of the glint from the chrome.

  19. straffinrun

    I think I could do this. Thanks, Ladies!

  20. Pi Guy

    Mrs. Pi loves Eggs Benedict! I think I’ll do this for Sunday morning.

    Very nice wrong to you both. Thanks!

    • Pi Guy

      Wrong = work *sigh*

  21. cyto

    Holy crap….. The Biden camp is *already* talking about increasing troop levels in Iraq. I will give him this… Biden knows how to follow orders.

    Some twitter snark from the discussion there:

    Ah…the era of decency restored.

    So glad Trump’s era of fascistic *checks notes* military drawdowns is being reversed.

  22. Chipwooder

    So Will Wilkinson got fired from Niskanen for a bad joke tweet in which he said “lynch Mike Pence”, and I’m torn between my revulsion to cancelling bullshit like this on one hand, and wanting to laugh at his useless ass on the other hand. It’s especially amusing that he was fired by Jerry Taylor, who said he wanted to beat the McCloskeys brains in yet continues in his job.

    • cyto

      We have officially gone insane.

      The ultimate clue? The cancellation of Martina Navratilova. All because she dared to say that men who transitioned to women should not compete in women’s sports.

      Martina freaking Navratilova. The absolute unquestioned first hero of the Trans movement. At the time that she was the unquestioned and somewhat unchallenged greatest player on planet Earth, she brought in Dr Renee Richards as her coach. A trans woman. In the 1970s, for crying out loud. If that person can get canceled for what should be a fairly uncontroversial opinion, what hope do normal people have?

      We have lost our damned minds.

      • KromulentKristen

        On this issue, I feel a big backlash coming.

      • Viking1865

        One of the biggest mistakes the GOP made was not hammering Biden on it. Probably wouldn’t have made a difference, since he would have lied like he did on fracking, but I can’t imagine a lot of suburban white moms who voted Biden for decency and normalcy thought they were voting for the destruction of women’s athletics.

      • KromulentKristen

        I don’t think the backlash will come until erstwhile men participating in women’s sports reaches some kind of critical mass. But when that happens, it’s gonna be big. Trump hammering Biden on this issue would have been premature.

      • creech

        You are right because it won’t become obvious to the suburban mom (because the news media won’t cover it) until her little Taylor and Emma don’t make the swim team this year.

      • blackjack

        The problem here is that nobody can really tell who voted for what. I think our only hope is that the people are repulsed by what Biden actually does and then slam the whole party hard, I mean really fucking hard at the next two or three times they get a chance. Barring that, we are well and truly screwed. The establishment assholes have made up their minds to accept this bullshit. It’s up to the American voters to hit back so hard, cheating won’t be possible.

      • KromulentKristen

        I’m actually starting to feel slightly more optimistic. I think the big rivalry for the next year or so will be Marxists leftists vs. establishment Dems. I may get the popcorn popper out.

      • rhywun

        She was a fixture on the Tennis Channel – which I watch a lot… not anymore. For awhile it was like nothing happened but yeah it seems like at some point she was quietly disappeared now that I think about it.

      • straffinrun

        The Ls in LGBTQ eat their own.

      • Gender Traitor

        Phrasing!

      • cyto

        Well played.

        When I lived in Atlanta back in the 90s she had an apartment on the same stairwell with friends of ours … Used it for her time playing on the ATL pro tennis team.

        Saw her with that chick from the Bangles she was dating from time to time. Drove her around on the back of her Harley. Seemed like nice enough folks.

      • rhywun

        IIRC she was instrumental in the formation of that league. In the before times, they treated her like royalty at every match I saw.

    • Not Adahn

      Since Niskansen is very por-cancel culture, I applaud their self-consistency and urge them to purity spiral with increasing vigor.

  23. mrfamous

    Good stuff. Looks delicious. Also looks like not part of my diet plan. 😀

  24. hayeksplosives

    Here I sit in the parking lot of the nearest hospital that has an emergency room.

    My husband is inside, but I couldn’t go in with him cuz Covid. We would have gone to urgent care but they closed at 5pm instead of 9 pm because Covid.

    The issue is he has a fast growing blister or something on the roof of his mouth that came up around noon and is now interfering with swallowing, talking, and breathing. I don’t know if it’s anaphylactic reaction or what. He’s burning up too.

    He was sick with what we suspect was the Vid last week, but he’s felt much better for 5 days now.

    I’d like to know what’s up but, ya know…no visitors. He’s probably being a grouchy paranoid turd in there too (judging from what he was muttering while in line), so I hope they don’t slap a DNR on his wrist.

    Wish us luck. Or pray if you are the praying sort.

    • hayeksplosives

      Added bonus. While we were in line outside, a guy who looked like the crypt keeper, complete with IV needle sticking out of his arm, walked in past us with no mask, and proceeded to wander back and forth past the entrance (inside) with no mask.

      So much for careful Covid protocols.

      • cyto

        Sending out our prayers.

    • blackjack

      Not the praying type, but I’m wishing you the best. I feel really bad for you guys. Hopefully they can fix it without much fuss.

    • straffinrun

      That sounds horrible. Hope it turns out well for him.

    • rhywun

      Yikes – best of luck!

      • hayeksplosives

        Thanks, Rhy, straff, and Blackjack.

        Fingers crossed…

    • db

      Wishing you the best. It’s inhuman what they are doing to families regarding hospital visits.

      • R C Dean

        Can’t argue.

    • KromulentKristen

      Hope he’s OK

    • Gender Traitor

      My empathy – been there/done that four weeks ago tomorrow. Surprisingly, though, even in DeRINO’s Ohio, I was able to stay with Tom T, even overnight in his private room. Hope your situation turns out to be nothing too serious.

      • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

        Prayers indeed. And while I’m at it (forgive me, Lord) FUCK Newsom(e) and all his minions who’ve made this more difficult for you.

        (I wish I could say I’m truly penitent, but for now, not so much…).

    • zwak

      I hope everything is OK. Wishing the best.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      Good luck!

  25. Shpip

    Apologies if drugs emerging from backside, etc. I’ve been at the track in Sebring all day. Since the house I’m renting is about 100 yards from the highway in question, I found this amusing.

    FL state representative proposes naming US-27 after Donnie Two-Scoops.

    To be fair, if held to a plebiscite and restricted to folks who live within 10 miles of the road, it would almost pass by acclamation.

    • rhywun

      Gross. Only because I don’t like the idea of naming public shit after living people.

      Florida’s Turnpike is officially known as the Ronald Reagan Turnpike

      Huh, I had no idea.

    • hayeksplosives

      Hell, they are trying to get his name off the side of his own towers in New York and Chicago.

      Might as well give him a road.

      • rhywun

        n late 2015, State Senator Daniel Squadron introduced an “Anything But Trump Act” to change the park’s name.[16] Several suggestions for a name change were offered by elected officials. Assemblyman Charles D. Lavine suggested that the park be named for Peter Salem, an African American who served in the American Revolutionary War and is thought by some historians to have been Muslim,[17] while the district’s U.S. Representative Sean Patrick Maloney suggested that the park be named after folk singer Pete Seeger.[18]

        Legit LOLs. Almost peak liberal.

        I’m guessing Donald learned a lesson from this debacle.

    • db

      Dude needs a Battlestar named after him.

    • grrizzly

      Our place in LA is near the Ronald Reagan freeway. I notice how unusual it sounds in today’s California every time I refer to it.

      • C. Anacreon

        The Ronald Reagan Library outside LA is worth a visit. They have the actual Air Force One from when he was president, you can tour inside it, and also stand at the door at the top of the gangway and a nice docent will take your photo as you give a presidential salute. The actual Marine One chopper you can go inside, too. Also, an exact to scale replica of his Oval Office, and the suit he was wearing when he was shot, with the bullet hole clearly marked. Much cooler museum than I anticipated.

      • grrizzly

        The first time I visited the Reagan Library was almost 16 years ago. We arrived late, probably less than 30 minutes before closing time, too late to enter normally but one of the docents was very nice and led us on a quick tour of the exhibitions. They didn’t have the Air Force One yet. The Oval Office was at the time the top attraction. Our docent used to work in a constituent services office for Reagan, answering letters or some such. She was able to add a little personal touch to the exhibits. I returned there a few times since then to be able to visit it without being rushed and bring visiting relatives and friends.

  26. db

    Great video!

    • hayeksplosives

      Inspirational, ain’t it? I’ve never made hollandaise sauce. I have a lemon tree that is heavy with fruit that I better pick in the next few days, so perhaps I will be emboldened enough to give it a try.

      Thanks, ladies!

      • db

        I really enjoy cooking. We are at the point of nearly completing a 1+-year renovation of our first floor including a completely new kitchen. I can’t wait to try some new stuff out. We have all the tools now; we just need the talent.

    • zwak

      Yeah, I have one of the little Stanley gizmos for plane and chisel sharpening, on an Arkansas oilstone, but nothing beats a Norton white for HSS.

      I can smoothly cut stainless steel after using that. None of that carbide shit for me.

  27. hayeksplosives

    Calling all Babylon 5 fans:

    Mira Furlan (Delenn) passed away today. She apparently had been ill for some time.

    I haz a sad.

    J. Michael Straczynski (series creator) shared this story about her:

    .
    I remember the first time Mira appeared at a convention with me and some of the other cast. She didn’t quite understand what it was all about, but gamely did her part. When the audience question period came along, a fan held up his hand and said to Mira, whose Yugoslavian accent was much stronger in the beginning than it became with time, “Say ‘moose and squirrel.’”

    She had no idea what this meant, but she said “Moose and Squirrel” and the room erupted in one of the longest sustained laughs I’ve ever seen at a convention. We explained it later, but really, all that mattered to her was that the audience had been happy.

    • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

      That sucks. She was great, and I have fond memories of Croatia.

    • hayeksplosives

      And on a more serious note, he adds:

      It is a night of great sadness, for our friend and comrade has gone down the road where we cannot reach her. But as with all things, we will catch up with her in time, and I believe she will have many stories to tell us, and many new roles to share with the universe.

      In Memoriam: Mira Furlan

      When Mira Furlan came to audition for Babylon 5, her home country of Yugoslavia was in turmoil and shattering into two separate countries. During our first meeting, we spoke about her work and her life, and I learned that she had been part of a touring theater group that continued to cross borders of the disintegrating country despite receiving death threats from both sides in the civil war.

      I expressed my admiration for her courage, but she shrugged and waved it off. “What’s the worst that could have happened? Yes, they could have killed me. So what? Art should have no borders.”

      Very few people knew that side of Mira: the fiery, fearless side that fought ceaselessly for her art. She brought all of those traits to Delenn, and in turn I tried to write speeches for her that would allow her to comment on what was happening to her homeland without calling it out by name. I guess I must have done it correctly because one day during the Minbari Civil War arc, she appeared in my office door, a cup of tea in one hand, in full makeup but wearing a pull-over robe from wardrobe, and said, “So, how long did you live in Yugoslavia?”

      Her husband, Goran, has always been the rock of her life. He was and is a gentleman, quick to laughter, an accomplished director and as much an artist as Mira, which made them the ideal couple. I’ve rarely seen two people so utterly meant for each other.

      IWe’ve known for some time now that Mira’s health was failing…I’m not sure that this is the right time or place to discuss the sheer randomness of what happened…and have all been dreading this day. We kept hoping that she would improve. In a group email sent to the cast a while back, I heard that she might be improving.

      Then came the call from Peter Jurasik. “I wanted you to know that Goran’s bringing Mira home,” he said.

      “Do you mean, he’s bringing her home as in she’s better now, or is he bringing her home as in he’s bringing her home?”

      “He’s bringing her home, Joe,” Peter said, and I could hear the catch in his voice as he said it.

      And as a family, we held our counsel, and began the long wait, which has now ended.

      Mira was a good and kind woman, a stunningly talented performer, and a friend to everyone in the cast and crew of Babylon 5, and we are all devastated by the news. The cast members with whom she was especially close since the show’s end will need room to process this moment, so please be gentle if they are unresponsive for a time. We have been down this road too often, and it only gets harder.

      If you are a fan of Mira’s work, fire up those special moments when she shook the heavens, and relive the art she brought to her work. For any actor, that is the best tribute possible: for the work to endure. As much as this is a time to grieve, it is also a time to celebrate her life and her courage.

      All of our thoughts tonight will be on the memories she left behind, the dazzling light of her performances, the breadth of her talent, and the heart and love she shared with Goran, and with all of you.

      Joe Straczynski

      • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

        She died, old and full of years, and was gathered to her people.

        (Readers of the Old Testament will understand the reference.)

      • hayeksplosives

        I’m crying like she was a personal friend. I know on some level I’m conflating the actress with the character, but she did shine through her character, and I have to admit she influenced me.

    • rhywun

      RIP

      Just started watching the series and I really like her.

      (OMG she was Rousseau too? I had no idea.)

      • hayeksplosives

        She is THE star of the show, the pivotal character.

        Enjoy!

    • one true athena

      aw no. I saw her at Comic-Con one year to get her to sign some B5 stuff for me since Delenn’s one of my favorite characters of all time. I just remember how nice she was, and that she seemed more beautiful in person.

      RIP

    • Chafed

      That’s awful. I think more of the cast is in the great beyond than still with us.

      • one true athena

        I have a dark theory that Walter Koenig was supposed to be next a few years ago, but Death fucked up and took the wrong Chekhov when Anton Yelchin died.

        Cast with the worst luck, that’s for sure. 🙁

      • egould310

        Whoa. That just blew my mind.

      • hayeksplosives

        Yes, several untimely deaths in that cast.

        Steven Biggs (aortic dissection IIRC), Andreas Katsukas (smoking related), Michael Ohare (mental illness/suicide), Jerry Doyle (heart attack. Good ol’ conservative radio host too), the guy who played Zathras, Stephen Furst, Jeff Conaway—

        It will be odd if Londo (Peter Jurasik) outlasts them all. Boxleitner, Christian, and Tallman are in good shape so far though.

      • rhywun

        I noticed that too during a recent wiki dive when I looked up Biggs which led to O’Hare and I was like OMG.

        Londo is my other favorite character.

      • hayeksplosives

        The story of Londo is one of the most compelling storylines in the show’s multi-year arc.

        The actor who plays him, Peter Jurasik, has an interesting life story too. Was a cab driver in New York among other jobs prior to trying out acting.

      • UnCivilServant

        So he would steeer you neeer the peeer?

  28. egould310

    Gotta be honest KK, seeing you chug that hollandaise… sexy as hell. If I wasn’t married… and if I was about 50 lbs heavier, 2 inches taller, and a lot hairier, we might hit it off.

  29. hayeksplosives

    Update on the Mr Splosives:

    He was in fact experiencing anaphylaxis. The doc said he needed to quit Lisinopril immediately. It’s a blood pressure Ned he’s been taking for10 years. The doc says it happens all the time that people suddenly become allergic to lisinopril.

    So he is on Benadryl and a rhino dose of prednisone for a while now, but going to the ER was the right call because it was on the way to swelling his throat shut and cutting off air.

    • egould310

      Yowza. Glad the crisis was averted. Be well.

      • hayeksplosives

        He’s usually the kind to brush off medical care, so when I got home and he nodded when I asked if he wanted to go to the ER, I knew it was serious.

        Thanks for the well wishes.

      • Shpip

        I’m one to brush off medical care, too. But when I recognized my STEMI a few months ago, I woke up the missus to take me to the ED.

        Glad your hubs is going to be around a while longer. Dudes sometimes realize when shit is serious.

      • hayeksplosives

        When I first got home from work, he was in the bathroom but had a window open on the computer where he was scheduling an appointment with his doc but it was for a week from now.

        He’d written as the reason “Blister or sore on roof of mouth, interfering with breathing and swallowing.”

        When he emerged, he sounded like a bad Don Corleone impression. I even joked as I asked if he wanted me to take him to the ER “OK, but someday I might ask a favor of you.” By the time we were at the hospital, it was not funny anymore.

        Happens quick.

      • hayeksplosives

        I just clicked your link. Damn, son! Glad you are still with us!

    • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

      YIKES!

      Glad you got it sorted quickly! All the best to the hubster.

    • Annoyed Nomad

      Glad to hear he’s going to be okay. But holy crap! I’m currently on lisinopril for high bp. I need to get back to Glibfit to lose 15-20 lbs , which I think will allow me to get off the meds.

    • Mojeaux

      Whoa! Glad you caught it.

      Make sure that gets noted in his medical record.

      • C. Anacreon

        Glad you caught it in time. Bad allergic reactions are not to be trifled with.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      And it causes chronic cough.

      Phew, HS.

      • hayeksplosives

        I didn’t know that about the cough. He hasn’t had that.

        The fewer meds the better, when possible.

        When he got type 2 diabetes they put him on metformin. But we changed his diet to a low carb and it brought his A1C down to 4.2 so he got to stop the metformin.

        The doc couldn’t believe it was through diet alone. Doc’s advice had been to cut out red meat and fat and cholesterol. BUZZ wrong answer! He eats meat, eggs, and veggies and cuts out most. carbs.

    • KromulentKristen

      Wow! Glad you caught it!!!

      • hayeksplosives

        He will live to eat hollandaise sauce another day!

    • slumbrew

      Great to hear he’s on the mend.

      I’ve been on Lisinopril for quite a while now – good to know that can happen.

      • hayeksplosives

        When I was making up a good first aid kit, I looked in to getting an epi-pen for anaphylaxis, but you can only get them with a prescription.

        Unfortunately, you don’t get much notice with a sudden allergic reaction.

        I honestly don’t know if he would have called 911 if I had still been at work. He’d probably have waited until he passed out. 🙁

      • Akira

        I looked in to getting an epi-pen for anaphylaxis, but you can only get them with a prescription.

        Aren’t you glad the government did that For Your Own Good™?

        Seriously though, glad he pulled through and discovered that allergy before it was too late.

    • KSuellington

      Right on, glad he is okay and you figured out the issue, two very good outcomes from an ER visit like that. Sucks that the virus panic made it worse.

      • hayeksplosives

        Yeah the vid panic novelty wore off 11 months ago.

      • KSuellington

        People are wearing real thin here, ten months plus of this shit is just ridiculous.

    • one true athena

      Glad they figured out what it was! Scary stuff, and I hate that you can’t go in with your spouse.

      My doc told me 10 years is about how long it takes to develop an allergy to anything – that was the explanation for why I started getting allergic to SoCal plants even though I hadn’t been before.

      • hayeksplosives

        Ooof. Becoming allergic to local plant life is no bueno.

        The only thing I’m allergic to (so far) is the tetanus vaccine. Literally one in a million people have that. You get one bad reaction to the tetanus booster as a warning, and then the next booster is fatal.

        You would not believe how often doctors and nurses notice that my last tetanus shot was 25 years ago and automatically order up a tetanus shot. I have to be very on top of it and ask what’s in the needle, since they never think to check the chart for a tetanus allergy.

  30. Mojeaux

    Okay, NOW that I have watched the video! Great work. Lovely sauce.

    I put paprika in mine. Sometimes white pepper.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      Paprika sounds like a good addition. I’ll admit to being one of those Neanderthals who has never had white pepper before, so I can’t comment there.

  31. Brochettaward

    So does Hollandaise go with anything besides eggs?

    • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

      You can smear it all over your lover’s naked body and then lick it off.

      Er, so I’m told.

      • Brochettaward

        I don’t mix food and sex. I saw what happens when you cross those wires on Seinfeld.

    • KSuellington

      Canadian bacon. And eggs, yes.

    • slumbrew

      Do you even read the article, bro?

      other common uses of hollandaise are fish, chicken and even steak.

      • Brochettaward

        I’m offended that you would even ask. Of course I don’t read.

      • SP

        Asparagus, too.

    • KSuellington

      Hey Bro, you are in Florida, correct? What is the mask situation like there? Here it is like a bad Twilight Zone episode, I am wondering how different it is in the land of manatees, cigarette boats and swamp.

      • Chafed

        Better than here. I know because anything has to be better than here.

      • KSuellington

        It certainly has gone full health totalitarian with no signs of relenting. Back on March 16th I had a conversation with my neighbor where I said that if it went beyond the two or three weeks that we would see some serious social unrest. I meant in regards to direct protesting of shutdowns and general crime more than what it turned into. Before this year I’d been planning on staying here till the kids were out of high school in a decade or so, now the exit is looking more tempting by the day.

      • Brochettaward

        Where I am at 90% where masks where required. Publix (main supermarket), Walmart, Target, pharmacies etc. have all required them and you get compliance. Go into a gas station or some place where they aren’t required, and few people wear them. Restaurants? No one wears them outside the servers.

        Business enforcement depends on where you go. Walk into a Publix without a mask and you’re going to hear about it. It’s pretty disappointing to see businesses step in where the government didn’t.

      • KSuellington

        What would you estimate the outside use rate of them? Are bars where you are pretty much normal? The only states I have been in the last year are western, and they were generally better but still very weird. I got mask shamed, well not really because I have no shame, in Montana of all places. But it was by some twenty something kid and I laughed at him at walked away my kids. Still far closer to normal there.

      • Brochettaward

        I should note I’m in Southwest Florida. So, it probably differs in some parts of the states (blue areas), but no one wears them outside. Same as I said with the restaurants. I don’t actually frequent bars anymore but I can’t imagine there’s compliance there when people don’t even bother at the restaurants even for the walk to the table.

        Occasionally/rarely someone will complain about someone else not wearing mask where its required, but most people are hypocrites (see the snow birds from blue states flocking to restaurants) and the general attitude in places where masks aren’t required is relaxed.

      • grrizzly

        I shopped without a mask in Publix, Target and Walgreens in Florida. No complaints at all. But then it was kind of like that in MA and CA back in the summer.

      • Brochettaward

        I know that Publix was rather strict about it in my area when the businesses all caved in June or July…whenever it was. I haven’t really bothered to test it myself as I don’t feel like getting into it with a low paid wage worker. I know your thoughts on that matter. At this stage, they may just not give a shit on their end, but most people wear them anyway. I find Walgreens/CVS it depends on the staff, but most don’t want to be bothered.

      • grrizzly

        We spent a week in Florida a couple of weeks ago. While there’s no government-imposed mask mandate in Florida, almost everyone wears a mask inside a store. There are signs requiring people to wear masks at every entrance. There was a gas station store where the clerk didn’t wear a mask, so some customers didn’t wear masks either. I didn’t see maskless people indoors anywhere else. All museums require masks. The zoo we visited didn’t, so 50% of visitors were without masks. Most people on the street don’t wear masks, though it’s not uncommon to see people wearing masks anywhere. Only one restaurant required us to wear masks on the way to the table. Only one hotel required us to wear masks to check in. The other 6 restaurants, 2 coffee shops and 2 hotels didn’t. The guy in a food truck didn’t have a mask on. It’s surely better than in Boston or LA, but it’s nowhere close to normal. We stayed in and around Jacksonville and Tampa to maximize our distance from Miami.

      • KSuellington

        Yeah, a vast improvement from here but not even close to normal, that is kind of what I imagined. The magic virus cloth is a fucking major bummer for me.

  32. grrizzly

    What a great video! It actually looks doable.

    • KSuellington

      I’m thinking of doing this with some anchovy paste mixed in. I go through five or six tubes of that stuff per year. If you are making sauces it is really good to add. This recipe with olive oil and garlic and chovy paste makes an awesome Caesar dressing.

      • Akira

        Anchovies have become indispensible for me! They go in most of my tomato sauces, Roman-style lentil stew, bagna cauda, and countless other dishes. I even eat a fillet or two every time I get the jar out.

        One of my favorite quick snacks to make is a piece of bread with anchovies and sun-dried tomatoes covered up with sliced provolone and placed under a broiler until bubbly.

      • KSuellington

        Nice! I have deep respect for the chovy, it is life giving in the ocean for the big pelagic species. If you don’t use the paste you should pick up a couple tubes, it is super handy instant umami. I also like making a compound butter with that and lemon, garlic and parsley and pepper. Excellent on a strip steak.

      • Akira

        Oooh yea buddy, steak and anchovies were meant to be together.

      • KSuellington

        This is a very sophisticated audience here tonight.

  33. hayeksplosives

    Holy cow, something good and original on Facebook!

    Written by a high school friend who is from Vietnam.

    When I heard talk of de-programming and re-educating today it brought back a lot of bad memories.
    I want to just say that I come from a country that was in a civil war. When One party took power it was an all out agenda to punish, imprison, kill, and re-program the “enemy”. You did not voice you opinion or discontent with government. I have family that were sent to “re-education”camps to make them learn that their beliefs were bad and against the people.

    My father was in the military. He poured acid on his arm to burn off the tattoos that identified him as a “traitor” to the people. My family fled my country in the middle of the night with nothing but the clothes on our backs. I know what it means to be truly hungry and be homeless. I slept on a dirt floor for 18 months in a refugee camp.

    We came to America to have freedom of religion, speech, the right to bear arms to protect ourselves. The freedom to avoid censorship and persecution for our beliefs. I believe in following the law and anyone that does not should be prosecuted. Do we always agree, no, but that is the great thing about this country. I have that right without fearing my liberty will be taken from me.

    It is time to quit the bashing, the assuming everyone is a traitor, the cancel culture, and censoring. America does not want to go down that path. I can tell you first hand the horrors that leads to.

    We are Americans with diversity and the melting pot of cultures. Our differences make us stronger and should not divide us. I sincerely hope to see unity because the alternative is not something I want to ever experience again.

    • Akira

      Good read indeed!

      It’s illuminating how the most outspoken critics of socialism are the ones who actually lived under it.

      • hayeksplosives

        Indeed. One would think that is worth remarking on in the media, but it seems to escape our crack journalists’ interest.

  34. C. Anacreon

    I trust everyone remembered to do a special commemorative toast at 9:21:21 pm tonight? It was the 21st second of the 21st minute of the 21st hour of the 21st day of the 21st year of the 21st century.

    • dbleagle

      I still have time to get that toast in. Cognac should be appropriate

  35. Yusef drives a Kia

    Hello! Any body out there?

    • Don escaped Qanon

      anybody?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Heyoooo!

  36. Don escaped Qanon

    my son was born at this instant 27 years ago

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Mine was 29 yesterday, congrats?

  37. Yusef drives a Kia

    No early peeps anymore? Whats happened to this place?

    • Tres Cool

      We out here !

    • Gender Traitor

      Geez, gimme a minute to wake up! The alarm doesn’t go off until 6:00 EST, and I’m allowed ONE five-minute snooze!

      Good morning, boys.

      • Tres Cool

        ‘sup pimp

      • Sean

        mornin y’all

    • Festus

      I’m proofreading my comments from the day before because you know why.

  38. Yusef drives a Kia

    Hi friends and traitors, Im up at 4:30est, forgive my for not znoozing more…

  39. Gender Traitor

    Yesterday, our payroll processor took much longer than usual to finish up all the many out-of-the-ordinary changes and details of today’s pay, so it won’t post as early as usual today, but it WILL post. And in the meantime I think I’ve finished up the report I need to do every year for our 401(k.) Unless I’m forgetting something, that’s the last of the big annual gotta-do stuff. Whew!

    Now I can spend the rest of January plowing through the mountain of returned member statements and noting the bad addresses in the system. Then I’m going to collapse.

    • UnCivilServant

      At least make it to a comfy chair before collapsing.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Fainting couch

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I get to run 100 feet of conduit, right over an occupied office space, ladders around the cubicles, Jenga!

      • Gender Traitor

        Big fun! But what does that have to do with mushrooms? (Or am I behind the times?)

      • UnCivilServant

        You keep mushrooms in cubicle farms.

        At least, that’s how things are done at the state.

    • UnCivilServant

      Oh, I’m putting together an “Anthology of the Incomplete” to torment you with.

      • Gender Traitor

        Thank you! I must be some kind of masochist, but I’m looking forward to it.

  40. Festus

    Hi fellow Glibs! Anyone up for some hacky-sack or insurrection today?

    • rhywun

      Damn, the FBI is recruiting Canadians now?

      • Sean

        They’ve sunk so low…

    • C. Anacreon

      Morning spam medical news spam email: “Capitol siege presents new challenges for psychiatry to help prevent domestic terrorism?”

      So many obedient sheep just happily gobbling the narrative. Sigh. Stay out of it, Dr. Mengeles of today, please?

  41. Sean

    https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2021/01/joe-bidens-america-treats-soldiers-5000-soldiers-moved-cold-parking-garage-one-bathroom-protecting-biden-inauguration-photos/

    MILITARY SOURCE IN DC:
    “For the last week my battalion has been sleeping on the floor in the Senate cafeteria. Today the Senate kicked us out & moved us to a cold parking garage.
    5000 soldiers.
    1 power outlet.
    One bathroom.
    This is how Joe Biden’s America treats solders.”

    That can’t be true, can it?

    • Gender Traitor

      Did Joe appoint Hillary Sec’y of Defense?

    • Tres Cool

      Jugsy mentioned it this morning. Evidently its making the rounds on SitOnMyFacebook.

      • limey

        I’m giving that one the required 48 hours.

      • Festus

        Wait! There was an option?

      • Festus

        Wait one hot minute! That was an option?

  42. C. Anacreon

    Just got our son off to the airport at 4am CA time for his flight back to college on the east coast. So we’re empty nesters again. House seems essentially the same, except now his bedroom door is open. Hoping I can get back to sleep for a couple hours before work.

    • Gender Traitor

      Does his school have in-person classes?

      • C. Anacreon

        Looks like a mix for now, heavier on the online. Hopefully as the semester progresses they’ll be in person more.

    • Festus

      Gotta keep that door and window open to release the funk, right?

      • Festus

        Heh! The asshole that runs the Plant is named “Funk”. That tune runs through my head every time I deal with him.

  43. Festus

    I am bookmarking this article. Hollandaise and Bernaise go with damn near everything. I cheat and use the packets but Grandma actually learned me how.

  44. Festus

    I also must state that I love you, Tulip for sticking by me. I only learned secondhand but I’ll never forget.

  45. Festus

    I would watch the shit of your cookery if it was on Food Network. Well done!

  46. Festus

    Do real mayonnaise next!

    • limey

      AIG WHAHTS, AWL, VIN*GAR?