Thursday Afternoon SPrucing up the Joint Links

by | Jan 28, 2021 | Daily Links | 459 comments

I’ll just come right out and admit I hate cleaning. But happily I have WebDom here to help me! The house will be clean(ish) for my birthday party Saturday. For a certain value of “clean.” ?

I’m in a rush, so here are some links!

 

Hey, it was just as effective as masks.

Well, this isn’t good.

Back in custody. I kind of wish they hadn’t been caught as it actually knocked the COVID nonsense off the overhead highway signs.

 

You’ll have to supply your own soundtrack for the afternoon, because I’m just too busy!

Have a great rest of your day. I’ll see some of you Saturday, but not one person who feels like a flake.

 

About The Author

SP

SP

I've got an idea! How about we just stick to the Constitution as written and then the government can leave me the fuck alone.

459 Comments

  1. WTF

    Anything is as effective as masks.

    • WTF

      Because masks don’t actually do anything to stop the spread of respiratory viruses.

      • Count Potato

        They help reduce the spread, but they have to be the right kind of mask, and worn properly.

      • Suthenboy

        You have to use an N95 and change it every 15 minutes and even at that all studies show no difference in transmission between mask and no mask.

      • Suthenboy

        The double/triple mask thing is dumber than dumb.

      • Brett L

        Might I advise a good thick plastic bag and duct tape at the neck for them?

      • Hyperion

        Breathing is optional.

      • Hyperion

        “Might I advise a good thick plastic bag and duct tape at the neck for them?”

        Sounds effective to me. Of course he should try it first, he’s the hero.

      • mikey

        He used to work for the razor division of Gillette.

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        My masks go to 11.

      • Fatty Bolger

        The right kind of mask, sure. In order to prevent virus transmission, the mask must be impermeable to oxygen, fully sealed over mouth and nose, and worn for approximately five minutes.

      • Count Potato

        You seem to be confusing prevent with reduce.

      • grrizzly

        You have no evidence of that at all. In a non-hospital setting face masks neither prevent nor reduce the spread of respiratory viruses. No masks of any kind. Because regular people never wear N95 masks properly fitted. The last 100 years of research demonstrate it. It might make you feel better that there’s something positive when you’re forced to wear a mask. But you still have no evidence.

      • Count Potato

        “In a non-hospital setting face masks neither prevent nor reduce the spread of respiratory viruses.”

        Because hospitals are magic?

        Both extreme positions are silly.

      • Not Adahn

        Because hospitals are magic?

        Yes?

        Maybe not magic, but highly controlled environments where patients and doctors are kept separated from each other, there is an effectively infinite of fresh PPE, constant sanitation, and ready access to prophylaxis and diagnostics?

      • Count Potato

        Still used PPE working on a ambulance where scenes are far from highly controlled environments.

        Nothing is 100%, even in a hospital, short of a “space suit”.

      • Suthenboy

        “…highly controlled environments where patients and doctors are kept separated from each other, there is an effectively infinite of fresh PPE, constant sanitation, and ready access to prophylaxis and diagnostics?”

        *snickers*

        Sure they are.

      • grrizzly

        My position is not extreme. That’s how the entire Western world lived before 2020. You cannot present any scientific evidence from before 2020 that masks reduce the spread. Nothing changed in 2020 in terms of evidence either. Only today scientists are scared to say it outright. And lots of charlatans do studies on hamsters. When you decide between 2+2=4 and 2+2=5, the right answer is not 2+2=4.5.

        In addition to what Not Adahn said about hospitals, doctors and nurses are trained how to use PPE. Of course, it’s lunacy to require patients to wear any masks in hospitals. It’s just as useless for patients there as outside hospitals.

      • mrfamous

        And despite that, with the exception of N95s (which are expensive and hard to wear for extended periods of time), all other types of disposable surgical masks have failed to show any reduction in rates of infection over a host of different scenarios, including in surgeries.

        Masks were introduced with a series of other hygienic measures in the late 19th and early 20th centuries in medical situations. Some of those measures were extremely effective (instrument sterilization for one). Because all of the measures had not been studied individually, it was assumed they all contributed to the reduction in infections.

        After the masks spectacularly failed to do anything for the 1918 flu epidemic, the medical community began studying them and found serious problems with them, the biggest one being that air would always escape out of the top and sides of the mask. Study after study showed they were ineffective, and a few actually seemed to show they were harmful. Then by summer 2020 they were suddenly “better than a vaccine” somehow.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Maybe the problem is that they only used one of those machines.

        Just as the commonest of morons knows that you need to at least double mask if you are serious about saving Granny, maybe it is the same with these Covid Scrubbing machines?

        “Dood, you need to at least two of these machines. And if you are really serious and not just a poseur you will buy and install three or four”

    • Trigger Hippie

      Nu-uh! My mask is multi functional. Not only does it stop the Covid, it also serves as a floor wax… and a dessert topping.

    • Count Potato

      “Hey, it was just as effective as masks.”

      Seems paywalled for me?

      • Bobarian LMD

        Me too, but I didn’t need to read very far to see someone got in trouble for horning in on the CDC and 3M’s action.

  2. Rebel Scum

    But happily I have WebDom here to help me!

    Kinky.

    • Old Man With Candy

      Baby doll pajamas and pillow fights. It’s a good time for me to be alive.

      • Fourscore

        Maybe not for long. 2 women? In the same house? Good luck, Buddy.

        Happy Early Birthday, SP, now you’ll be old enough to buy your own drinks and not have to wait for, you know, (nods head towards…)

  3. leon

    You’ll have too supply your own soundtrack for the afternoon, because I’m just too busy!

    Answering the Call!

    • pistoffnick

      I admire that dude’s beard!

    • blighted_non_millenial

      Northern European music…. NAZI!

  4. Not Adahn

    The “Virus Shut Out” devices sold on eBay for $15.95 with a golden promise to protect its wearers from bacteria and viruses, including the one that causes COVID-19.

    If he only had been hawking nephrite jade amulets for that purpose, anyone who questioned him would be a racist.

    • Bobarian LMD

      Works on tigers as well.

      Just exactly like a mask.

    • Fourscore

      Was it the upgrade? The copper ones are 19.55, plus shipping and handling, BUT WAIT…

  5. Old Man With Candy

    Flake. Hmmm. Mad Scientist? Westernsloper?

    • Mad Scientist

      I can’t fix your brakes. You asked me, “Where’s my motor?” Well, it was eaten by snakes.

  6. Chipwooder

    I posted this late on the last one so I’m reposting it here: Robin Hood seems to be selling off users’ GameStop shares and overriding any attempt by the user to stop the sale. Supposedly these are not only margin calls, but happening to people who didn’t buy on margin.

    • leon

      What ought to happen is TD, robinhood and such are abandoned and go bankrupt, and forced to work the rest of their lives paying off the money they stole from their users.

      What is likely to happen is a series of SEC regulations that all but explicitly bans retail trading.

      • Chipwooder

        I find that scenario depressingly plausible.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        We need a tax that discourages small traders but is NBD for the big guys.

      • juris imprudent

        Not a “tax”, a “transaction fee”.

    • Not Adahn

      How is that not straight-up theft?

      • Count Potato

        Still be surprised it wasn’t illegal, if that’s what is happening.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      They should be *redacted* from *redacted* until they’re *redacted*.

    • R C Dean

      I have seen screenshots that appear to confirm that they are forcing sales. If its not under their contract for margin calls, or at the direction of the SEC, I can’t imagine what they were thinking, and RobinHood is done. There is already a class action suit filed.

      • juris imprudent

        Well duh – they’re just living up to their name, right?

      • Chipwooder

        Assuming that the law is enforced, yes.

        I no longer have much confidence that will happen.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Even if it was done at the direction of the SEC, they are done.

        The only thing they had going for them was loyalty and trust from their users. Now that is gone, daddy gone.

  7. Pope Jimbo

    What a bunch of shitlords. That group of escapees does not look very diverse. In fact it smells like White Privilege if you ask me.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      They look downright Cool Hand Lukian. I wonder how many trustees are heartbroken tonight because their bassett hounds got run plum to death.

  8. Not Adahn

    One person died after arriving at Northeast Georgia Health System, a hospital spokesman said.

    That’s not how nitrogen asphyxia works. I wonder what happened.

    Admittedly, I am assuming that something in a news report is true, and that’s a bad assumption.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Moral of the story: Don’t work the same shift as anyone who helped count votes in Fulton County.

    • db

      Rupture or major leak in a liquid N2 tank or transfer line used for rapid freezing?

      • Not Adahn

        Yeah, that I get. But lethal cryogenic damage that happened outside the kill zone seems unlikely.

    • db

      The article mentions “burns” which could be cryo burns — that would imply a large volume rupture or leak of a high capacity LN2 pipeline.

      • Don escaped Qanon

        my thoughts exactly

        I tried to pitch a food-processing equipment company up there (not this plant but maybe one of its suppliers) but could never get a meeting

  9. Rebel Scum

    One way to garner fawning adoration.

    A photo of a four-year-old Virginia boy smiling next to a baby deer is nothing short of ‘adeerable.’

    The boy’s mother, Stephanie Brown, says she was stunned on the front porch yesterday morning to see her son with his new, furry friend.

    “I couldn’t even tell you, I was in shock. I was like, ‘No way. My mind is playing games with me,”” Brown told 8News Wednesday

    Young Dominic became an animal whisperer–the pajamas with Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer possibly attracted the small creature.

    • leon

      “I couldn’t even tell you, I was in shock. I was like, ‘No way. My mind is playing games with me,”” Brown told 8News Wednesday

      Young Dominic became an animal whisperer–the pajamas with Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer possibly attracted the small creature.

      More likely that overgrown forest rat was attempting to murder him on the side of the road.

      • Bobarian LMD

        “Come play in traffic with me Timmy!”

      • Fourscore

        Calling Child Protection, little boy outside alone, in PJs

      • juris imprudent

        With wild animals.

    • Animal

      …the pajamas with Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer possibly attracted the small creature.

      As part of my undergraduate degree, I did a year-long, pretty intensive independent research project into the behavior and day-to-day routine of whitetail deer. I can pretty well guaran-damn-tee you the deer wasn’t attracted by any pajamas, Rudolph or otherwise. Deer are beautiful, graceful and tasty, but they aren’t all that smart, and the definitely don’t understand symbols.

      I really hate these anthropomorphic twats.

    • Hyperion

      Just reinforcement of what I posted here a day or two again.

      The left at at it again, redefining words.

      This time the target word is ‘democracy’. Notice how much they’ve been using that word? Only now it means whatever they say it means today. It has no set meaning, it’s just whatever they say it means right at this moment.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Democracy = Lockdowns, Governors ruling via Emergency Powers and Rule by Executive Order.

        Not sure if Public Health Officials are part of democracy. Now that Trump is out, I’m guessing they are going to be pushed out. Maybe you will keep a few around as long as they are tame and willing to parrot whatever the pols tell them to say.

  10. DEG

    Charpiot and Harmon escaped Saturday night after they used a large air conditioning unit as a ram to break into a closet and steal tools used in their escape, law enforcement officials said in a news conference Monday.

    It seems like that should make a little bit of noise and be noticed.

  11. Count Potato

    “Six people were killed and 10 were taken to a hospital after a liquid nitrogen leak at a food processing plant in Gainesville, Georgia, officials said. ”

    As far as I know, ammonia leaks are more common, but deaths are very rare.

  12. Rebel Scum

    “Permanent”. Except for that part about going through the legislative process.

    Virginia’s temporary workplace safety regulations for COVID-19 prevention were made permanent Wednesday, requiring employers to enforce rules such as mandating masks for all public-facing employees and providing adequate sanitation throughout the pandemic.

    Last week, the Virginia Department of Labor and Industry’s Safety and Health Codes Board voted to extend COVID-19 workplace standards that align closely with those adopted in July. Gov. Northam approved to make those temporary rules, the first such standards in the nation, permanent before they expired at the end of the month.

    “While the end of this pandemic is finally in sight, the virus is still spreading, including several highly contagious variants, and now is not the time to let up on preventative measures,” Northam said in a statement.

    • leon

      “While the end of this pandemic is finally in sight, the virus is still spreading, including several highly contagious variants, and now is not the time to let up on preventative measures,” Northam said in a statement.

      This was straight taken from the Dictators Handbook, with [Insert Crisis] and [Insert expanded power]

    • Chipwooder

      Well, Coonman, does this mean you expect the pandemic to be permanent?

      • Rat on a train

        Maybe until December. There are state elections this year. They need an excuse to ignore election integrity laws.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Look if the various Congresses in the numerous states and federal government would just do what we asked, we would do it legitimately. However, we need to do something and move forward! It is the most democratic thing to do by having our brave and courageous governors and president take up the mantel and do what must be done.

    • Viking1865

      Unelected boards voting is what democracy means in 2021.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Unelected boards voting dictating is what democracy means in 2021.

      • Hyperion

        Voting is actually very dangerous to our ‘democracy’ when those votes might go the wrong way. The only way to stop this is to apply corrective measures to the voting to ensure democracy is safe.

      • Rebel Scum

        Independent/critical thinking is dangerous to our Democracy.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Dammit

      Motherfucker

      (&”$&$&$(!!

  13. DEG

    Those people not wearing masks want Grandma to die.

    The lack of mask-wearing at the Board of Selectmen’s meetings prompted Associate Attorney General Anne Edwards to contact officials.

    Edwards contacted Town Administrator Susan Harrington about the issue late last week after she received a complaint from a resident.

    “We don’t wear (masks) at our regular meetings as long as we can maintain six feet of distance, said Chair William Daniels.

    The town does not offer a video conference option for residents to take part in board meetings remotely, as many towns have done in reaction to the pandemic restrictions.

    According to Gov. Chris Sununu’s Emergency Order 74, face masks must be worn in public spaces where six feet of distance can not be maintained.

    The State AG office just wants voluntary compliance. They have the guns, powers of arrest, powers to shut down businesses, and do all sorts of other ugly things. So you better voluntarily comply.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Ah the whole voluntold bit. Never gets old.

    • R C Dean

      According to Gov. Chris Sununu’s Emergency Order 74, face masks must be worn in public spaces where six feet of distance can not be maintained.

      We don’t wear (masks) at our regular meetings as long as we can maintain six feet of distance

      Seems pretty straightforward to me.

      • DEG

        It’s a good thing you’re not looking for a job in the NH AG’s office.

  14. Playa Manhattan

    XBox X just arrived. Got it set up and the box discarded without my wife finding out.

    • leon

      heh. They always find out.

      • Mojeaux

        Overseen on FB. Can’t vouch for its validity, but it’s not funny enough to be the Bee.

      • Mojeaux

        Fuck a duck.

      • leon

        It’s Ok. I wouldn’t be suprised if Biden was going to backdoor pressure the execs and threaten the SEC on these companies over this. What happened to corporate Bravery that we had seen in the last 4 years? It’s not that they weren’t actually brave and that standing up to the unpopular guy isn’t actually that brave a thing to do.

      • Ted S.

        To be fair, we did find out.

    • db

      Get the airbrush out and paint scratches and dirt on it for camoflauge!

    • Chipwooder

      So you have a wife who doesn’t constantly review the bank account and credit card purchases? Lucky man.

      • Viking1865

        This is why we have 3 accounts. I don’t want to see what stupid shit she spends her money on, she doesn’t want to see what stupid shit I spend my money on, we pay the bills and the necessities from a joint account.

      • Ownbestenemy

        ^^^^ This. Our common account is our family finance goals/savings. Each others account is FU money…well, poor man’s FU money.

      • Brett L

        Absolutely. I don’t want to know what she spends on Starbucks and clothes, she doesn’t want to see what I spend on toys and beers.

      • db

        Yep, separate personal accounts with a joint bill paying account is the way to go. My money is mine, hers is hers.

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        We have joint accounts. We both are pretty frugal. She sometimes buys stuff that I think is a waste, but it’s not that big of a deal. She doesn’t spend a ton of money at the hairdresser, Starbucks, on pedicures, on clothing, etc., so in general it’s not a problem. She used to have her own accounts in her homeland, but FATCA shut that down for us.

      • Rat on a train

        We have two. One where my pay goes. One for hers. Not originally planned. My account is with a bank that doesn’t have branches in our state. I’ve kept my account because it’s a good bank, I like their online offerings and the mortgage is with them.

      • Playa Manhattan

        I handle all of the finances. I don’t even think she has a credit card in her name. She’s always an “authorized user” on my accounts.

      • leon

        We split. She handles most of the discretionary “day to day” spending, and i Handle most of the bills (Utilities, Insurance etc).

      • Playa Manhattan

        I’m good at saving. She is not. Therefore, she will never get the big picture on our finances.

      • leon

        Each couple has to find the right allocation. There is no 1 solution for every couple. My wife is probably a better saver than I, and so it is better that she does the day-to-day shopping, whereas i have a link into all the various insurances because they come from my employment, it makes sense for me to handle it.

      • Playa Manhattan

        This is the right allocation for us.

        I spent 15 minutes explaining Prop 13 and why we shouldn’t buy a bigger house.

        The result of this conversation was us joining a country club.

      • leon

        For sure, i wasn’t meaning to imply that your mix was wrong for you guys. I’ve known plenty of families where it has to be that way, and it works out.

        Where it doesn’t work out is typically when you have a couple where neither can be financially responsible.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I’m the budget guy, but wife has full access and control of all account, too. She has her own checking account, I have my own, but they’re all interconnected and we each have full access to all of them.

        I can’t imagine planning for a future together if we were each just tossing half of rent and utilities into the pot and keeping the rest for ourselves. It flat out wouldn’t work, and it papers over tough conversations that need to actually happen.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        This!

        We do have separate accounts, but they’re primarily self funded.

        Mine was seeded with money id gotten from selling guitar gear, hers was seeded with some funds from a bonus she received at work.

        From there the money churns as much as anything.

        We definitely have the philosophy of “everything is ours.”

      • Playa Manhattan

        Everything is certainly “ours”. The bills just come to me.

        And it’s not just to control spending. That’s a small part of it,

        I’m the one who actually does the research on credit cards to maximize the rewards/cash back, and where to put money that’s not quite an investment but also doesn’t belong in a checking account.

        It’s what works for us. We’ve been married for 13 years, and she’s never signed a tax return.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Same here. Wife has no interest in it and trusts me with the big picture. Small changes and the maintenance of the status quo happen without her input. Big changes and annual refreshes happen with both of us to make sure we’re still on the same page and priorities haven’t changed for one of us but not the other.

        For example, with Biden signing the EO to put a hold on student loan repayment and interest, we had a quick conversation of

        “I think we should dial back on retirement for a little bit and put it towards getting into a house”

        “OK, that’s your domain, do as you will”

        “no, I want to dump almost everything into down payment except the employer match amount”

        After a 5 minute conversation about why I thought it important, we were done and on the same page.

        I think every couple has a saver and a spender, a nerd and a free spirit (to rip from Dave Ramsey).

      • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

        ^^THIS.

        The day after we married, the spousal unit and I marched down to our bank and consolidated everything. It’s been that way for 29 years now, and it forced us to have exactly what Trashy mentioned, the “tough conversations.”

        We both dialed back our expectations of the other and increased our expectations for ourselves, and it worked a treat.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        We share several bank accounts and credit cards. We have 2 other accounts that are separate. Mine is dedicated to buying and selling guitar shit, and she does whatever the fuck with hers.

      • Old Man With Candy

        SP has 100% control over our finances. This is a good thing- if it were me, we’d have a pile of fine wines, electronic parts, guitars, and loudspeakers to haul after the eviction.

      • Animal

        Mrs. A likewise has 100% control over our (joint) finances. She’s just better with money than I am. As evidence, I offer that we saved up a bunch of money and by mid-summer should own our Alaska house free and clear, whereas if it had been just up to me I’d have been coming home going “Hey, hon, look at this 1932 Purdy double! I got a hell of a deal, only $32,000!”

      • Playa Manhattan

        And polished rocks?

    • Not Adahn

      The fact that you’re taking time to write about it rather than play it means something, surely.

      • Playa Manhattan

        I have a terabyte of data downloading.

      • UnCivilServant

        Day one patches are a bitch.

      • Playa Manhattan

        Games from the old machine.

      • Rat on a train

        downloading pi

    • Ownbestenemy

      Just tell her you bought a new mini fridge.

      • Playa Manhattan

        It fits behind the TV. I won’t need to explain it.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Cool. Gotta give an honest review. Wife wants to upgrade ours but she is torn between PS5 or that. Its funny cause she isn’t a gamer and our X Box has been unplugged for two months now? So not sure why she wants to get another.

      • db

        The only answer to that question is: Teledidonics.

      • Playa Manhattan

        I’ve found that the PS5 is impossible to find, and will be for a few months. I really tried to get it, and didn’t even come close.

    • Hyperion

      She’s going to find out as soon as you’re hogging the TV.

    • Playa Manhattan

      Update. Kids have taken over and are playing Gangbeasts.

    • grrizzly

      Did you use any service to track XBOX availability?

      • Playa Manhattan

        No. The good ones are invitation only, and meant for high volume scalpers.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    Who would like to stop in and help?

    “Not I,” said the rat.

  16. Rebel Scum

    Another deplorable menace to society removed from the streets.

    US Capitol Police on Wednesday afternoon arrested a West Virginia man who was armed with a handgun and 20 rounds of ammunition outside the American Veterans Disabled for Life Memorial, which is near the US Capitol, a spokesperson from the Metropolitan Police Department said.

    A Capitol Police officer made contact with the unidentified man when he was seen parked in the middle of the intersection near the US Capitol, according to a police report from the Metropolitan Police Department. …

    The arrest comes weeks after hundreds of rioters stormed the US Capitol in an attempt to stop the Senate’s confirmation of President Joe Biden. Five people, including a police officer were killed. Security was tightened throughout DC after the January 6 insurrection and continued through last week’s presidential inauguration.

    Capitol Police said the man was 71 years old and was charged with carrying a pistol without a license, possession of unregistered ammunition and unlawful possession of a firearm. He was arrested after a Capitol Police officer noticed him parallel parked in the middle of the intersection of Second Street and Washington Avenue SW, they said in a statement.

    The officer asked the man if there was a gun in the vehicle, to which he said one was in the center console, police said.

    Two of those charges seem like the same thing and idk how one is supposed to register ammo. And the intersection thing…wtf? 0_o

    • Not Adahn

      Five people, including a police officer were killed.

      well, that’s a bald-faced lie.

      • Rebel Scum

        I scratched through that part for a reason.

      • Not Adahn

        And was the sundowning codger actually “armed” if he was merely transporting a gat in his car?

      • leon

        I do like tracking the way lies evolve as the game of Media telephone plays out.

        1. Inssurection where 5 people end up dead (technically true, that 5 people died during the riot, in that location)
        2. Next person sees that and thinks “5 people killed”
        3. Repeat
        4. If called out, point to original article as source, without ever investigating the nuance.
        5. Lie is established as fact.

      • Not Adahn

        6. Lie makes it into print
        7. Wikipedia uses that article as proof, bans anyone who tries to correct the error under WP:FRINGE.

      • Ownbestenemy

        8. When cornered, start saying it wasn’t a lie, it is “nuanced” *Noticed the WH press is back to using that term

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        I think nuance is French for bullshit.

      • Not Adahn

        Nah, that’s merde du boeuf.

      • R C Dean

        technically true, that 5 people died during the riot, in that location

        Err, no. I think two people died during the riot, in the Capitol. The other three were not at the Capitol or involved in the riot, as near as I can tell. To be perfectly honest, I have no clue who the fifth dead person is. For days, it was “4 dead”, and then it became 5. The four, as near as I can make out, were Ashli (shot by cop), one cop who may have gotten hit by a fire extinguisher, one dead of a heart attack at the rally, one dead of a stroke at the rally.

        The lack of detail on how, when, and where people died is a big old tell.

    • Viking1865

      I know I’m preaching to the choir, but the Founding Fathers were familiar with the concept of a legal license. They had them back then. They specifically left them out of the 2A. Like, the 4A specifically mentions warrants, so you know the government can search your property after they get a warrant.

      Licenses to keep and/or bear arms are unconstitutional on the federal level. There’s simply nothing in the text to support any gun control whatsoever, but especially carry permits or licenses. “The right to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed” is plain English.

      • db

        That’s why the NFA Branch of ATF doesn’t issue “licenses,” just tax stamps that show you paid the tax. And the tax is not on the firearm itself, it is on the “transfer” of the firearm, so it’s just part of the Commerce Clause power to regulate commerce. Same for Federal Firearms Licences–only needed to engage in commerce, not simple possession.

      • R C Dean

        Licenses are a prohibition wrapped in a bureaucracy. Look at any license requirement, and it reads “You are prohibited from doing X without a license”. As far as I am concerned, anybody who has a carry license has had their right to bear arms infringed as much as someone who doesn’t.

      • db

        exactly

    • Muzzled Woodchipper

      That’s a well that will never run dry, I’m afraid.

      I can already read future headlines.

      “It was discovered that The Bad White Man was armed to the teeth with 2 handguns and 60 rounds of ammunition only 46 miles from where other Bad White Men Stormed The Capitol™️ just 116 months ago.”

  17. Muzzled Woodchipper

    A link courtesy of my 14 year old, accompanied by the message “People find other ways to speak when they can’t speak normally”.

    https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJo843ym/

    We talked about that right after the banning of Trump and tens of thousands of conservatives from Twitter and FB, and the disappearing of Parler.

    When you make it so people can’t use words, they will find other ways, and most of the time those things aren’t as harmful as words. People will be heard.

    • Ted S.

      I think you mean “harmless”, not “harmful”.

      • Not Adahn

        Words are like weapons, they wound sometimes.

      • Ted S.

        Words, like violence, break the silence.

      • leon

        All i ever wanted, All i ever needed was here, in my arms.

      • Ted S.

        More than words is all I ever needed you to show.

      • pistoffnick

        Words as weapons
        Sharper than knives
        Makes you wonder how the other half die
        How the other half die
        Makes you wonder, wonder, wonder

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nc5QCJB3fOc

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        What are words for when no one listens anymore?

      • Animal

        Politics?

    • db

      At what point does Winnie the Pooh become verboten in the US?

      • Hyperion

        As soon as Xi tells his puppet boy, Chiney Joe.

  18. Ownbestenemy

    Antibiotics worked wonders on the teen. Tells me bacterial infection, maybe false negative strep test or something else.

    • Swiss Servator

      COVID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  19. The Other Kevin

    I have been off FB, and I have been avoiding my lefty friends, so maybe someone here can help. Am I allowed to speak truth to power now?

    • leon

      As long as that power is not on this list of Powerful institutions:

      President,
      Senate majority,
      House Majority,
      Democratic Governors,
      CNN, ABC, NBC, MSNBC, et. al,
      Hedge Fund Owners,

    • Ownbestenemy

      Depends on what version of truth and to which group deserves the power.

    • db

      Nope, speaking truth to power is insurrection when the power is in the hands of the Democrats.

    • Not Adahn

      Always*

      *only agents of capitalism, cisheteropatricarchs, and wypipo have power.

    • juris imprudent

      Am I allowed to speak truth to power now?

      Yes, as long as it is what power believes to be the truth, not any silly ideas of your own.

  20. Rebel Scum

    Unity, healing, etc.

    Anchor Stephanie Ruhle asked, “Are you prepared for what could be on the other side? If the former president is acquitted, what happens if there’s no accountability for him or the rioters? He was the one who said, ‘I could shoot someone on Fifth Avenue.’”

    “[P]art of the lesson of the first impeachment trial for him was that he could shoot holes in the Constitution on Pennsylvania Avenue and get away with it because Senate Republicans were prepared to bury their heads in the sand. So, that would be unfortunate, although there are a variety of other investigations, some civil, some criminal, that I believe have the president in their sights. And we’ll see what happens with those investigations,” Jeffries outlined. “But every available option to hold him accountable for his actions should be undertaken. But we’re going to proceed in doing the business of the American people, both in terms of defending our democracy, and building back better under the leadership of Joe Biden, Speaker Pelosi and Leader Schumer. And we’re not going to be cowed by the domestic terrorists and the white supremacists and the enemy combatants who want to stop us in our tracks. That would be giving in to them, and that’s not going to happen.”

    Uh…

    • leon

      And we’re not going to be cowed by the domestic terrorists and the white supremacists and the enemy combatants

      I don’t think i’m being conspiratorial in saying that this language is intentional so that they can start sending people to Gitmo and claim that they don’t hold any constititional rights.

      • Viking1865

        Conspiracies happen in secret. This is out in the open. Shit, they just indicted a guy on federal charges for posting a meme in 2016. It’s an openly tyrannical government at this point.

      • Ownbestenemy

        No leon, you are not. If Trump saying that the news industry produces “fake new” and are “the enemy of the people” and they can cry foul that they are being attacked, we surely can view what they are saying as a direct threat. It is a bit of battle space preparation for when they decide to drop their domestic terrorism bill.

        Hell, they are already talking about purging government employees who were at the capitol on the 6th AND who engage in “fringe speech” that questions the government.

        John Adams is thinking, well shit, looks like they did it better than me.

      • juris imprudent

        It isn’t a conspiracy when they publicly announce their intentions.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        I’d be very surprised if we survive the year without some drastic measure such as that happening.

        Gitmo: Too terrible a place for suspected middle eastern terrorists, perfect for Bad White Men.

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      What part of the Constitution was he accused of violating during the first impeachment?

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      And don’t get me started on the buzzwords “our democracy” and “build back better”.

    • Lackadaisical

      They weren’t so concerned about prosecuting rioters 6 months ago.

      • Viking1865

        There were no rioters six months ago.

  21. Pope Jimbo

    In Too Local News….

    My Hometown is in the news! Woman flies a Fuck Biden flag on her house and there is nothing the cops can do! (behind regististration but you can try glibs@hotmail.com/PopeJimbo2021 as user/pw)

    The reporter is the one who seems bent out of shape about all of this. The neighbors are cool about it and Charlie Ramstad the City Attorney spouts some downright Domestic Terrorist bullshit about the government not being able to lock people up for wrong think.

    “People have the right to express their views, under the Constitution, and the government has a very limited ability to restrict people to express those views, and when you think about it, it should be like that,” said Charles Ramstad, an attorney at Briggs, Ramstad & Skoyles, P.A.

    There is a city ordinance that says offensive public indecency is a violation of law, but Ramstad believes the First Amendment would overrule it.

    “Like it or not, the benefits and burdens of the Constitution tell us that the (city) government has nothing to say about this,” Ramstad said.

    • Pope Jimbo

      They live a block from the house I grew up in (and where my dad still lives)

    • Pope Jimbo

      The first one was a genuine LOL

    • Not Adahn

      What is that tool that looks like a honing steel?

      • DEG

        Bridget Phetasy’s rack?

  22. Pope Jimbo

    At this point, why not for it and adopt Omar’s new plan to give everyone $2000/month?

    It isn’t like we haven’t already fucked ourselves good and hard financially. What is a couple dozen more Trillians in the hole?

    In a letter to President Joe Biden this week, Rep. Ilhan Omar called for him to include in his COVID-19 relief package recurring monthly payments of $2,000.

    “People across Minnesota and the entire country are suffering,” the congresswoman wrote in a statement released by her office. “Millions remain out of work and countless more have had their hours cut or income dry up as a result of the pandemic. A one-time payment of $2,000 is simply not enough.”

    Specifically, Omar is calling for the $2,000 monthly payments to continue until the pandemic ends and the economy recovers, to include immigrants workers, refugees and their families, to include dependents both young and old, and to prioritize those who need it most and will spend it the quickest.

    • Viking1865

      I’ve back of the enveloped it a few times. 20% tax on all income, flat, across the board would be 3.7 trillion in revenue. 400 billion for defense, 300 for general government services like MUH ROADZ and MUH NATIONAL PARKZZZZ. There are 250 million American adults. 1.5 trillion spread across the 75 million poorest adults is 20,000 a year. 1.5 trillion across the next 150 million is 10k a year. Slap that as a credit on everyone’s SSN. Computers just do the math for everyones SSN. No welfare lines, no forms to fill out. No staying in a dead mill town because you’re on all the benefits there.

      Take a flamethrower to regs and red tape, and since the tax code is now “20% of your income, minus your Negative Income Tax” now the millions and millions of highly educated intelligent people who work in tax compliance are now free to actually produce things that grow wealth instead of filling out government forms.

      • Animal

        Kind of like this.

    • Hyperion

      Cheap asses! $240,000 a month, forever! Let the party never end!

      • Viking1865

        If you ended all federal spending, every single dollar of it, and the entirety of the federal budget was a 24,000 dollar negative income tax, you’d need 6 trillion to make it work. The feds took in 3.7 trillion in revenue in 2019.

      • Hyperion

        Kulaks and wreckers, we’ll tax the rich! Everything for free!

      • Animal

        Easy. Fire up those money printers! We’ll Zimbabwe the shit out of this economy.

      • Chipwooder

        It’ll be like the new Burger King commercial, with the gun that shoots out money.

      • Animal

        The end result will be much like the Highway of Death in Kuwait in 1991. I remember standing there, looking down the hill at all the flaming wreckage, and commenting to one of my NCO’s, “Well, we liberated the living shit out of this place.”

        Only instead of a Highway of Death, we’ll have an Economy of Death.

    • Chipwooder

      Why not! I suppose I can think of uses for eight grand a month!

      Well, I can, until I remember that will bring about Weimar Germany levels of inflation.

      • Hyperion

        Sure, cans of chicken soup will be $350, but we’ll all be rich, so we’ll be eating caviar anyway! Then we’ll really put the fix in by taxing those billionaires at 100%! Don’t worry, be happy, the party is just kicking off!

      • UnCivilServant

        That’s not caviar.

        Also, you may want to do something about the intestinal parasites.

      • Animal

        Those aren’t intestinal parasites. That’s weight loss on a budget!

      • Pope Jimbo

        Finally someone is doing something about America’s Obesity Epidemic

    • Pope Jimbo

      Proving that you can take the girl out of the devastated war zone, but you can’t keep her from trying to turn your country into the same kind of war torn shithole.

  23. leon

    Looks like the NY AG is gunning after Cuomo’s job

    https://www.post-journal.com/news/latest-news/2021/01/state-ag-report-ny-undercounted-covid-deaths-in-nursing-homes/

    State AG Report: NY Undercounted COVID Deaths In Nursing Homes

    Attorney General Letitia James has, for months, been examining discrepancies between the number of deaths being reported by the state’s Department of Health, and the number of deaths reported by the homes themselves.

    Her investigators looked at a sample of 62 of the state’s roughly 600 nursing homes. They reported 1,914 deaths of residents from COVID-19, while the state Department of Health logged only 1,229 deaths at those same facilities.

    If that same pattern exists statewide, James’ report said, it would mean the state is underreporting deaths by nearly 56%.

    • Muzzled Woodchipper

      There is no good guy here.

      It’s also quite possible that the homes are over reporting cases so they get that extra juicy CovidCash.

      It’s probably both.

    • Ted S.

      Why are so you obsessed with Demi Slut?

      • Ownbestenemy

        At this point I think its just rote.

    • Animal

      She looks like a balloon animal.

    • The Gunslinger

      Nope. Peachy posterior.

  24. db

    Looking like no SpaceX launch today. For some reason, they fueled up and are now defueling the craft.

    • one true athena

      Elon’s too busy going after short-selling hedge funds today. lol

    • The Other Kevin

      Nothing’s stopping them from spending their own money on armed guards for their houses.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Screw those pussies and their contrived terror. Are there people really buying this shit?

    • Raven Nation

      Especially after their allies encouraged Occupy Wall Street to demonstrate outside the house of Goldman Sachs execs. Not to mention harassing people at restaurants and in the streets all summer.

    • Hyperion

      Unity is only for when they have power. Otherwise it’s all ‘not my president!’ and ‘resistance!’. See how it works.

    • Animal

      When Democrats say “Unity,” they mean “Republicans do what we want.” When Republicans say “Unity,” they mean “We do what Democrats want.”

  25. Count Potato

    “Republicans slam Biden for restoring taxpayer funding for abortion abroad and backing federal cash for it at home with Trump’s ex-doctor Ronny Jackson calling it ‘paying for murder’

    Republican lawmakers are tearing into Joe Biden’s Thursday executive actions related to women’s reproductive rights, claiming ‘abortion is murder’ as the president reverses Trump-era orders that restricted taxpayer money funneling to abortions.

    ‘Let me be clear – abortion is murder, and the federal government should not support it let alone PAY for it,’ Representative Ronny Jackson, who once served as presidential physician to former Presidents Barack Obama and Donald Trump, wrote on Twitter Thursday.

    ‘I will not support any bill that eliminates or weakens the Hyde Amendment. #SaveHyde’ the freshman Texas congressman continued.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9198271/GOP-slam-Biden-restoring-taxpayer-funding-abortion-abroad-backing-cash-US.html

    Why are we sending aid to foreign countries to help fund abortions?

    • Animal

      Why are we sending aid to foreign countries to help fund abortions?

      Fixed.

  26. The Late P Brooks

    Am I allowed to speak truth to power now?

    Don’t be fatuous. You are Power. Truth will speak to badger and browbeat you.

  27. Ownbestenemy

    Even in common ground..AOC goes full cunte against Cruz.

    “I am happy to work with Republicans on this issue where there’s common ground, but you almost had me murdered 3 weeks ago so you can sit this one out.

    Happy to work w/ almost any other GOP that aren’t trying to get me killed.

    In the meantime if you want to help, you can resign.” – The AOC #stillwoodwithasockinthemouth

    • leon

      Yeah the whole “You almost had me murdered” schtick doesn’t really play much further than the dramatic base of leftists.

    • Pope Jimbo

      I’m impressed she didn’t change her position.

      “Once I realized I was on the same side as Nazi Ted, I knew I had to support the Hedge Funds”

      • leon

        I mean, thats pretty much the take the corporate press went with.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      God, what a mendacious sack of shit that one is. Almost had her murdered my fucking ass.

    • robc

      He should reply with:

      If I wanted you dead, you would be dead. #zodiac

      • Count Potato

        LOL

  28. trshmnstr the terrible

    Time for another fun-filled edition of Social Justice Bullshit In Trashy’s Work Inbox:

    “I loved my kid so fiercely, and I refused to believe that there was anything wrong with him. So, it was my belief system versus my child. As I began to reconcile this, I realized that there must be something wrong with my belief system because there was nothing wrong with my child. I rejected all my preconceived ideas about gender, and it was both liberating, and extremely empowering.”

    This came from episode one of a monthly “Social Justice Series” that my business unit just kicked off this year.

    Just gotta laugh at it.

    • Ownbestenemy

      We should just become a nation of eunuchs.

    • Chipwooder

      That’s what passes for logic these days.

      We’re doomed.

      • leon

        Yeah yeah yeah, i know it’s part of hegelian dialectic, but i would appreciate it if Americans learned the “Thesis, Antithesis, Synthesis” style of writing/argumentaion, rather than what is typicaly taught for “argumentative essays”.

        Likewise, you can love your children and still recognize that they aren’t perfect. In fact that is probably a big part of loving them, by getting to know them well enough that you can identify where they need improvement, and then teaching them, mentoring, and showing them how to improve. That doesn’t mean you love them any less.

      • Chipwooder

        I know for a fact that my parents think some of my decisions and beliefs are stupid. I feel the same way about theirs. Doesn’t mean a damned thing about our relationship.

        What kind of psychopath thinks that loving a child means shuffling into line with all of the kid’s beliefs and opinions??

      • Animal

        I remember once when I was about sixteen, I had screwed up pretty bad – got picked up for reckless driving, had to tell the Old Man about it. I felt like shit because I knew he was disappointed with me.

        So, I said so. He looked at me and said, “You’re my son. Nothing will ever change that. Yes, I’m disappointed with you at the moment. But you’re still my son.”

        At that time I felt even worse. I didn’t deserve him as a Dad, or so I thought at the time. Once the lesson sunk in… well, I’ll spend the rest of my life living up to him.

        You don’t have to accept all of your children’s choices. But they are still your children, no matter what age they are. Another bit of the Old Man’s wisdom that has stuck with me was “You never stop being a parent.” He was past ninety when he told me that.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Relevant – son that wasn’t feeling well and I was making sure he had tea, and liquids and such said “Dad I have done nothing to deserve this, you ride me to do my homework when I don’t do it, I drag my feet when it comes to chores” I stopped him and basically said what your old man said to you just jumble the statement a bit.

      • Mojeaux

        You never stop being a parent

        Learning this with 17.5yo XX about to fly out of the nest within the year. I’m never not going to worry about her.

      • Animal

        Our oldest is almost 38. And, yeah.

      • Fourscore

        Try 58 and I still worry, throw in a 54 model and 3 adult grand daughters. But I keep telling them not to worry about me.

      • Hyperion

        I’m done at 61, played that game too long. My youngest is going on 31. Y’all carry on as long as you want, I’m done.

        These are not children, folks. My wife still calls her 30 something children, babies. Bullshit.

    • one true athena

      Gender-Munchausen-by-proxy. Poor kid. You know the poor thing tried on Mommy’s heels or played with a truck and now Mommy’s all excited she gets a trans or, wait no NON-BINARY (that’s the new hotness, I think) child!

  29. The Late P Brooks

    you almost had me murdered 3 weeks ago so you can sit this one out.

    “If I had been shooting at you, you’d know.”

  30. Rebel Scum

    What Cruz gets for agreeing with Occluded Cortex on something.

    Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
    @AOC

    I am happy to work with Republicans on this issue where there’s common ground, but you almost had me murdered 3 weeks ago so you can sit this one out.

    Happy to work w/ almost any other GOP that aren’t trying to get me killed.

    In the meantime if you want to help, you can resign.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Keep up that rhetoric and your fantasy might come true.

      These people are batshit crazy. They appear to want bloodshed and are willing to provoke it.

  31. The Late P Brooks

    “I loved my kid so fiercely, and I refused to believe that there was anything wrong with him. So, it was my belief system versus my child. As I began to reconcile this, I realized that there must be something wrong with my belief system because there was nothing wrong with my child. I rejected all my preconceived ideas about gender, and it was both liberating, and extremely empowering.”

    Is this one of those stories that starts, “My little boy/girl picked up a crooked stick off the ground and pointed it at a bird and went ‘Pewpewpew’.”?

  32. Rebel Scum

    Senator Ron Johnson
    @SenRonJohnson

    Social media censorship just ratcheted up to a new level. Google’s YouTube removed two videos of doctors testifying under oath at my US Senate hearing on early treatment of COVID. Another body blow to freedom of speech and expression. Very sad and scary. Where does this end?

    1984.

  33. Pope Jimbo

    A story about the brewing battle to bail out Minneapolis for riot damage.

    The DFL is really mad that the rubes from outstate won’t pay to fix up Mpls. They point out that state funds are used to pay to rural places hit by tornadoes and floods and that is the same thing. (Actually, I would heartily support the state if they stopped bailing out the idiots in Moorhead who keep building on a flood plain that floods every 2-3 years).

    State Rep. Cedric Frazier, a DFLer from New Hope, said during a House hearing on Wednesday that state policy and lack of investment in people of color contributed to long-standing problems that gave rise to the Floyd homicide and the subsequent protests and riots. Not helping those neighborhoods would only make issues worse, he said. “I couldn’t fathom the thought of not supplying disaster relief to Greater Minnesota when a tornado comes down, a major snowstorm has an impact on those communities,” Frazier said. “I don’t think that we’d be having the conversation if this was a situation that happened in Greater Minnesota in some of those communities.”

    One more poor minority who can’t fathom Whitey’s Tricknology.

    • Viking1865

      If the good farmers of Blue Earth could line up in a row and spray water cannons on snowstorms, or cuff the fucking tornados when they spin up, that would be an apt comparison.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Also when it does flood, the local mayors and the gov usually do a pretty good job of getting the National Guard out there sooner than later to help sandbag and prevent damage.

        I also don’t think that Tim Walz’s daughter would be tweeting reassurances to the rising waters that the National Guard wouldn’t be there any time soon.

  34. Rebel Scum

    Off we go to militarize district 1.

    “As I noted earlier this week, even before September 11, 2001, security experts argued that more needed to be done to protect the U.S. Capitol,” Pittman said in a statement. “In fact, a 2006 security assessment specifically recommended the installation of a permanent perimeter fence around the Capitol.”

    “In light of recent events, I can unequivocally say that vast improvements to the physical security infrastructure must be made to include permanent fencing, and the availability of ready, back-up forces in close proximity to the Capitol,” Pittman continued.

    • leon

      A standing army at the Capital has always been the bane of any republic. They know that this is overhyped, but they want to push this. I’ll leave it to you to try to surmise why they would want a standing army at the Capital

    • Hyperion

      “the installation of a permanent perimeter fence around the Capitol.”

      To keep all the swamp critters in? I could go along with that.

    • Pope Jimbo

      I say she’s not going far enough.

      The only way we can protect our precious lawmakers is if we house them in a super max facility. Since Pelosi herself has said that some members are threatening the others, each lawmaker will be kept save in their own private cell office.

      For their safety, visitors will be carefully screened and only allowed to see the lawmaker during scheduled periods. And even then the lawmaker will be safely kept behind a bullet proof window.

  35. Not Adahn

    Just listened to NPR’s coverage of GME.

    It turns out Robinhood is a great, kind responsible company protecting the simpletons from getting swindled out of their money by sophisticated svengalis weaponizing social media.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Really, NPR’s sticking up for the innocent shortsellers? They’ve just become a mouthpiece for the neolibs at this point, you can tell what they’re going to say on any particular issue before they even know themselves.

      • Not Adahn

        This morning they hadn’t figured it out yet and ran two stories with differing narratives. One of them even compared WSB to OWS. Somebody must have reminded them that reddit is where r/The_Donald used to be.

      • Chipwooder

        “at this point”? Was there ever a time when that was not true?

  36. Ownbestenemy

    So after finally hitting more outlets outside of our local markets regarding the doubling of suicides in school aged children, Las Vegas is opening up “hybrid” schools for…K-3rd grade. You know, the ages that aren’t even being reported to commit suicide.

    What pisses me off is they knew this was a problem, as evident in our weekly distant learning newsletter that is only about mental and behavioral health and nothing about education. Bastards all of them.

  37. The Late P Brooks

    Why would anybody hold Congress in sufficiently low esteem as to wish them harm? It’s a mystery.

    Yogananda Pittman, the acting chief of the US Capitol Police, on Thursday called for permanent fencing and other enhanced security measures around the Capitol complex.
    “In light of recent events, I can unequivocally say that vast improvements to the physical security infrastructure must be made to include permanent fencing, and the availability of ready, back-up forces in close proximity to the Capitol,” Pittman said in a statement.
    Pittman continued: “I look forward to working with Congress on identifying the security improvements necessary to ensure the safety and security of the Congress and the U.S. Capitol.”
    But lawmakers on both sides of the aisle pushed back on the idea of fencing around the Capitol. Democratic Rep. Jake Auchincloss, a Massachusetts freshman, tweeted that it would be a “mistake to turn the home of our democracy into a fortress.” Rep. Elise Stefanik, a New York Republican, tweeted, “This is the People’s House. I am adamantly opposed. There has been no threat briefing given to Members of Congress to justify this proposal.”

    Something something lamentations of the women.

    • mikey

      The”riot” was 100% the fault of the Capitol Police. They knew what was coming and did nothing. In some videos it looks lie the police were helping remove the barrades.

      • Sean

        ?

    • grrizzly

      But lawmakers on both sides of the aisle pushed back on the idea of fencing around the Capitol. Democratic Rep. Jake Auchincloss, a Massachusetts freshman, tweeted that it would be a “mistake to turn the home of our democracy into a fortress.”

      If this Democrat sounds slightly sane, it’s only because he was a Republican just a few years ago.

    • Pope Jimbo

      I’ve said this before, but when will they decide that maybe stop fucking with people is the best way to reduce the threat of being victims of a mob?

      “You know maybe if we just slowed our roll a bit. Stopped killing jobs by Executive Order, stopped forcing people to pay for abortions and stopped calling everyone a terrorist things might just calm down”

      • UnCivilServant

        Calm doesn’t allow them to seize more power.

  38. Count Potato

    “A Robinhood investor typing in a trade is just beginning a series of transactions that might result in a string of actors being compensated. Robinhood does not and can not post orders directly to exchanges like the NASDAQ; for a fee, it sends all of its orders to market maker firms like Citadel or Virtu. Those firms in turn have what amounts to a free option on the Robinhood trader’s order. They can execute the trade themselves, or they can offload it to an exchange, which in turn posts the order and compensates the market maker firm in the form of rebates, while earning money itself by charging fees for “data feed” that include information about such retail orders.”

    https://taibbi.substack.com/p/pandemic-villains-robinhood

    “As @mtaibbi has reported, Robinhood makes its money by selling its users’ transaction data to hedge funds/high-frequency traders — so not surprising they’re pulling the plug on GME trading”

    https://twitter.com/tomselliott/status/1354784766931980289

  39. Count Potato

    “Social media censorship just ratcheted up to a new level. Google’s YouTube removed two videos of doctors testifying under oath at my US Senate hearing on early treatment of COVID. Another body blow to freedom of speech and expression. Very sad and scary. Where does this end?”

    https://twitter.com/SenRonJohnson/status/1354580111849381888

    Don’t read the comments.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Dont read twitter

      • The Hyperbole

        Meh, Twitter is what you make of it. This is interesting and I learned about it from the tweets.

      • Gender Traitor

        Oh, yeah! Saw a TV show about that. I’m pretty sure it was Josh Gates – Expedition Unknown or another such series.

        As for Twitter, it often seems like a field of flowers that turns out to be a minefield.

      • Hyperion

        I remember that. Landslide no doubt. Or was it aliens? It was aliens, wasn’t it?

      • The Gunslinger

        No matter how you use it, twitter benefits from your clicks. I try not to line the pockets of those trying to do me harm.

      • The Hyperbole

        How is Twitter trying to harm me?

      • The Hyperbole

        Yeah, Still not getting it.

      • The Gunslinger

        I’m not s republican but I believe in free speech. Twitter only supports free speech for some. They’re a private company and can limit users as they see fit but when Dorsey says this

        “I want to start by making something clear: we don’t consider political viewpoints, perspectives, or party affiliation in any of our policies or enforcement decisions. Period. Impartiality is our guiding principle… Twitter will always default to open and free exchange.”

        I don’t believe him.

        https://www.steynonline.com/10692/the-last-copier-in-the-woods-arrives-sooner-than

      • Hyperion

        Well, he’s towing the party narrative. The one that says they want nothing but healing and unity.

        I respect his right to say that. He’s a liar. Simple as that.

        And I respect his right to ban everyone he wants. I’ll also be laughing when we see some future news agency interviewing him on the street in Seattle as a homeless person.

      • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

        I’ll also be laughing when we see some future news agency interviewing him on the street in Seattle as a homeless person.

        Well, he’s already got the weird-beard thing goin’ on, so he’s queued up for it.

        On a related note, with consistent negative EPS, how the Hell does Twitter keep the lights on? Old-fashioned “cash flow” only works for so long . . .

      • Hyperion

        Well, yeah, I mean he does already have that homeless vibe. But it’s Seattle, it’s the hip look today.

      • Hyperion

        They keep the lights on because they are towing the one party narrative.

        The same way Jack Ma kept it going until he disappeared.

    • rhywun

      Probably a dirty Republican. Good riddance.

    • Hyperion

      I don’t use Twitter or any social media. But for some reason, I think it will be fun watching them destroy themselves. Or maybe not. I was taught that erasing half your customers, on purpose, was a bad business idea when I took my last economic class. Maybe things have changed in the new woke economy.

    • DEG

      GM vehicles will switch from gasoline to electricity—yes, even the Corvette (or whatever GM decides to call it in the future).

      So, not a Corvette. Will they call it “Piece of Shit”?

      • rhywun

        Narrator: “GM vehicles will not switch from gasoline to electricity by 2035 or any other year.”

      • rhywun

        I view this stuff the same as all the other social justice pieties corporations are blathering about now – as advertising. And not at all reflective of anything that will actually happen (other that throwing huge amounts of money down a rathole).

  40. Pope Jimbo

    This one is just for Neph

    A story about students from THE U of M trying to create a beer, but being shot down because THE U of M will not engage in any dirty partnerships with purveyors of alcohol. Of course, they may be willing to change their minds for $300K.

    Honestly, the journalo does a terrible job. I’m not sure why the students want to involve the school in this deal at all. Seems like they already swindled the school out of a logo, chemistry, patented hops, and a business plan. Maybe the school’s endorsement is needed for trademarks? Or because the students want to lure in a big brewer without having to risk their own money? I don’t know.

    I do know that THE U of M doesn’t cover itself in glory. There is a lot of ink about how they don’t want to be in a partnership with icky breweries who only encourage binge drinking and other hijinks.

    And even if they changed their mind…

    Based on an analysis of the market and the revenue these partnerships have generated for other universities, University Relations estimates that the policy changes will generate about $300,000 in revenue for the University annually.

    All revenue from licensing on the Twin Cities campus goes back into Gopher Athletics, Kramer said. However, sponsorship “goes with the entity that it originates at.” For example, if an event hosted by the School of Music is sponsored by a wine company, the revenue would go back to the School of Music, Kramer said.

    Yeah, lets shovel that $300K to Gopher athletics for some reason. And these are the same people who have been crying down at the legislature about how they are so broke because of the Rona and that the tax payers need to step up and send them even more money.

    • Not Adahn

      The new ambassador to the UN also gave a Chinese-paid speech.

      • Brochettaward

        I mean, Bill was doing it while Hillary was SoS and no one batted an eye so…

  41. grrizzly

    Gallup International, survey: 3 out of 4 people in the world want more restrictions (gathering, travel.. ) if necessary to help stop coronavirus (75% in Spain, 68% in Italy, 71% in UK, 80% in Germany…).

    • rhywun

      Maskage is at around 99% now where I am, after a brief flash of people reluctantly reasserting their freedom during the summer. And that’s outside, just walking around, where is there is no RULE to do so.

      We are utterly doomed as a people.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        Here too, and I live Flyover Country in a place trying to impeach their governor for things like mask mandates.

        Last night I was at what is likely the most conservative place one can go in the area, the Bluegrass Sportsman’s League, and even at a meeting where there were fewer than 10 people in a room that is ~75×50 and no one was within 10’ of the closest person (that you didn’t live with), in a place that does not enforce the statewide mask mandate, and all of us were wearing a mask.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        A question for myself more than for you… What the hell are we so afraid of?

        I guess I’m afraid that the minor inconvenience of the mask will be traded for a major inconvenience of being booted from a store, being doxxed, or being harassed by Karens.

        Probably not worth being afraid of that. The risk is low and the consequences aren’t that dire.

      • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

        We’ve actually had people shot by police for not wearing a mask and being reported by Karens here in Canada.

        I’m not sure I want a 9mm headache just ’cause I don’t want to wear the fuckin’ mask anymore.

        And if you get booted from every store, you’re gonna get hungry pretty quickly.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I’ve thought about going to the pickup model for groceries and the like. Costs them more in labor and I don’t have to wear a mask.

      • grrizzly

        With your attitude you will wear your face mask for the rest of your life.

        I still shop without a mask most of the time in Massachusetts. The worst that can happen is I’ll be asked to put one on. People’s conformity and cowardice are unbelievable.

      • The Hyperbole

        I still shop without a mask most of the time

        Cuck!

      • grrizzly

        Agree.
        Though I do live in the only place in the country that officially recognizes polyamorous unions.

      • Viking1865

        I absolutely hate being an asshole to retail people, and to waitresses. I also go to the same places all the time, so I know the people that work there. I’m not gonna make some grocery store worker ask me to wear my mask and then tear a strip off them, and I’m not gonna get banned from places that work well for my schedule.

        What I do is comply to the letter of the “law”. When I enter the store, I put my mask on and off as I walk through the door. I take it off the second I sit down at the table, and I leave it off the whole time.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Yep, letter of the law. Mask goes on in the vestibule on the way in, it doesn’t cover my nose, and it comes off in the vestibule on the way out. I’ve only had one Karen get on me about it not covering my nose, and I just snorted at her dirisively and walked away.

      • Viking1865

        Yeah I have not had anyone say anything to me, but I can see them thinking it. If one ever does, I’ll probably say something pretty rude. Or I could be very very nice and chirpy and wind them up.

      • grrizzly

        Good sheep. I’m forced to wear a mask because of people like you–the vast majority of Americans.

      • Viking1865

        Yep, it’s the power of the media and the propaganda machine, it’s pretty scary. I totally agree. I was in a gas station last week, and there was a dude and his girlfriend without one on. Due to the endless propaganda I actually had an instinctive thought, just for a split second, of “Fuck this asshole.”

        I shit talk masks to people all the time. I usually go with “I always wear my mask, and I got it anyway.” and “Everyones wearing masks, and it’s still spreading. Virus is gonna virus.”

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Bullshit, many people who disagree are just afraid to speak up and are answering accordingly.

  42. Pope Jimbo

    I’m picturing SP’s Birthday party as some crazy Joe Biden approved Logan’s Run.

    At what age does OMWC bring her to the mall and leave her there because she is past her sell-by date? I’m not sure, maybe the day she learns to ride my bike without the training wheels on?

    • straffinrun

      I’m picturing one heckuva party. SP and OMWC have been great hosts over the years.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I think to that, no doubt. Happy pre-birthday SP!

      • Swiss Servator

        Oh yes indeed they are!

    • Ownbestenemy

      WE’RE WINNING!!!!!

  43. rhywun

    CNN and its impossible to block on my current setup autoplay videos can die in a fire.

    That is all.

    • DEG

      One thing I don’t like about Brave, is their autoplay blocking doesn’t work properly for some sites.

      Youtube videos auto-play. If they don’t autoplay, I have to click twice to get them to play.

      • rhywun

        I even blocked the HTML element hosting their videos using Ublock Origin which used to be good at such things back when I was a regular Windows user a few years ago and they still fucking load because the sound starts.

        Now, I get autoplay videos everywhere I go. There must be some checkbox in Ublock Origin to address it that I just haven’t found yet.

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      I think I saw that one on Pr0nhub.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      And just like that, “Am I being detained?” takes on a whole new meaning for me.

  44. Ownbestenemy

    Jan 19th 2021 – EOs are evil! They are a sign of dictatorship!

    Jan 28th 2021 – With an extremely polarized Congress, EOs are the way to go.

    I want off this planet.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Actual comments I have read. From lefties, they still see the congress as polarized because they don’t have absolute rule…yet.

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        What do you think they mean by unity?

  45. grrizzly

    Exit visas are coming.

    Going abroad for no good reason will be illegal, [UK home secretary] Priti Patel warns

    Leaving the country without good reason is to become illegal, Priti Patel announced yesterday.

    The home secretary criticised social media stars for “showing off in sunny parts of the world” and said travellers would be required to fill out a declaration form explaining why they are flying, which will be checked by airlines.

    Only “essential” travel will be allowed, and police will issue fines at borders. The government is reviewing the list of travel exemptions to ensure people are not abusing the system.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Things are devolving quickly.

      This is in the holy shit, we’re now the Soviet Union category.

      • Suthenboy

        Isn’t that the point of the whole cootie bug theater?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        She’s a British Conservative and is supposed to be one of the good ones not to mention I think getting the koof broke Boris’ brain.

  46. KromulentKristen

    We had a 10-minute discussion today on how to address the nominated head of our agency.

    I hate DC.

      • UnCivilServant

        I have literally addressed agency heads as “Who are you?”

        Admittedly I was in my cube working on something requiring concentration and she was wandering the offices randomly talking to people without introducing herself, assuming we’d know who she was when she had never before stopped by.

        She never visited our office again.

      • straffinrun

        “Who’s the hot new chick?”

      • UnCivilServant

        No. Not unless you’re into the “older butch lesbian” vibe.

      • straffinrun

        “Who’s the new carpet cleaner lady?”

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        You should have asked her to fetch you a coffee.

      • UnCivilServant

        My mind was on what I was working on.

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        So you were watching porn?

      • UnCivilServant

        No.

        I don’t do that at work.

      • Not Adahn

        One of my techs did something similar when the GM was serving the Thanksgiving dinner.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Luckily, in my line of business, our VP has said we can address anyone by first name basis, even him. So we don’t have to worry about that shit.

      • straffinrun

        ~san FTW.

    • Not Adahn

      Was German involved?

    • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

      How about, “Hey, fuckdoodle”?

    • creech

      Good question. I think we can now start referring to Biden as “Pharoah.” 40 EO’s and counting. “So let it be written; so let it be done.”

      • UnCivilServant

        He’s no Rameses.

        Does he golf? Maybe King Putt?

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      Your Royal Highness?

      • straffinrun

        Mr. Wannafud

    • straffinrun

      It’s Ma’am!

      • Ownbestenemy

        Probably the catalyst for the GME fiasco…think about it.

      • KromulentKristen

        (it actually is LOL)

      • KromulentKristen

        (or, as we agonized over for 10 minutes: “Ambassador or not?”)

      • UnCivilServant

        Unless the person is currently the ambassador to someplace, they don’t get called Ambassador.

        Once you have left an office, you don’t keep the title.

      • KromulentKristen

        Apparently that’s not the case in her case.

      • UnCivilServant

        Is her name “Ambassador”?

      • KromulentKristen

        State Dept says Ambassadors continue to be addressed as such after retirement

      • rhywun

        State Dept says Ambassadors continue to be addressed as such after retirement

        Well, they are part of a superior class.

      • Hyperion

        I’d get fired on the first day there. At least I’d try my best.

      • Hyperion

        I guess know one has told the left that, especially Madame Secretary.

      • Hyperion

        no one

    • Brochettaward

      So…what do you have to call her?

      Anytime someone pulls that shit with me, I just remind them that I’m the First of all Firsters.

      • KromulentKristen

        They didn’t figure it out. In 10 minutes of discussion the conclusion was “Ambassador unless she says otherwise”. So, like, common fucking sense?

      • Hyperion

        Damn, now I know why every federal employee we’ve ever interviewed was so desperate to get out. They were practically begging us to hire them. I mean, we normies, we just mostly call people by their first name.

      • rhywun

        I work for a medium-to-large corp and I wouldn’t even think of calling anyone on up to the Big Guy anything but their first name.

      • Hyperion

        Same. It would be considered weird if you didn’t.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        This. My first manager as an intern in college laughed at me when I called him Mr. XXXXXXX. The hierarchical model has been dead for a while.

      • Hyperion

        There is obviously something wrong with a person, to the point of being a sociopath who has a need to be called by some sort of title. Government bureaucrat would be the perfect example.

    • Hyperion

      Sir, dear leader fuckface, sir?

    • KromulentKristen

      You may address me as Madame Web Master.

  47. Suthenboy

    Regarding what Scruffy said above about the USSR: We haven’t gone out and arrested every private business owner and ship them off to the gulag…at least not yet….we just forced them to close and go out of business.

    These fuckwits are following the Bolshevik playbook word for word, letter for letter.

    • Hyperion

      The left only want a few mega corporations. That’s easy to control, you basically one need to control one guy. So, you control Google, Facebook, Apple, Amazon and you’ve got a lock on things. How hard is it to buy off 5 guys? A hell of a lot easier than it is to buy off 10s of thousands of guys. Some of those guys might be difficult and actually have an opinion. The heads of all the big corps are worms.

  48. Hyperion

    Rand Fucking Paul!

    Probably been posted here before, but we need 99 more senators like Rand Paul.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The word must have come down from in high that the media is to absolutely tow the lion on the election fraud. I don’t think I’ve ever seen them quite so fervent and completely hostile on an issue.

      I truly wish there were some public recordings of their staff meetings this month.

      • Hyperion

        TMITE. That actually has meaning.

      • Hyperion

        Looks like Kblobcuker or whatever her name, ran for her life.

    • Suthenboy

      Geez I really hate that Snufalufagus guy. Journalist, my ass.

      • rhywun

        He’s awful but the worst is a tie between Stelter and Cooper if you ask me. And Maddow. And that Joy something chick I always confuse with someone from The View. Oh hell, there are so many.

      • Hyperion

        They’re all so awful it’s hard to decide. They’re like little moronic clones of one another, getting hard to tell them apart.

      • limey

        Joy Behar = best frenemies with Megan McCain on The View, advocates throwing all Republicans in jail
        Joy Reid = some other lady from TV who also advocates throwing all Republicans in jail, and possibly sending them to the gallows

      • Suthenboy

        What is smarmy fuck Lemon, chopped liver?

      • Hyperion

        Rand handled him pretty well.

        ‘Say it, say you’ll wear the ribbon! Who won’t wear the ribbon!?’.

        CWAA

    • limey

      Rand is on point, and I think it’s incredibly important if it even just gets through to one or two genuinely open minded people. You have to argue your point articulately and present your evidence even if the anchor is playing most of his audience like a fiddle. There are those who still have some level of awareness and value a reasoned argument, and not just shouting dogma at the “other side”.

      • Hyperion

        Well, Rand can do that. He’s a very intelligent guy. The problem is, all the so called ‘conservatives’ saying ‘OMG, Rand Paul, he’s a libertarian! They want to legalize drugs and let people have tattoos!’.

        Seriously, a conservative is often the next worst thing to a lefty. A pox on both their houses.

        IOW, we don’t deserve a Rand Paul.

  49. Tulip

    My cat is revelling in a dog free house for the evening by insisting on snuggling with me. We are going to snuggle whether I want to or not. It is u acceptable for me to pay attention to anything else.

    • KromulentKristen

      Mean kitty! LOL

    • Suthenboy

      We. have a small table behind the couch. I sit at that table to smoke. I have a small dog (whippet) that invariably hops on the back of the couch and perches directly between myself and the television, then he just stares at me. He is worse than a little kid for attention begging.

      • rhywun

        My boss has a small child and his wife had to return to India for a couple weeks. Every time I talk to him – and some of these calls can last a couple hours while we’re working on some problem or other – that kid is pestering him every five minutes. I would blow a gasket. I don’t how you people stand it.

      • KromulentKristen

        This^^^

        And the high-pitched screaming for every occassion, happy or sad. That’s awesome.

      • rhywun

        I have multiple of that running around the apartment below me. It’s amazing how the vibrations of constantly pounding little feet reverberate through the walls.

      • Not Adahn

        When I lived in Bryan, my bedroom was on an exterior wall less than 20 yards from my neighbor’s property. They had a couple of toddlers, and worked something other than day shift. So at godwhateverfuckinghour in the morning, they’d be in the back yard playing with them.

        “MOMMY! MOMMY! WATCH ME!”

      • Hyperion

        I used to have a friend and he had 3 small children. He’s call me on the phone, or I’d call him and I couldn’t even hear him because the kids were screaming their head off. He’d be like ‘hey, don’t do that, I’m on the phone, stop that.’, at which time the screaming would intensify. I would just say ‘hey man, I can’t hear you, I gotta go’. Jeebus people, discipline your children. I can’t even imagine doing that when I was a kid. Humanity is doomed.

      • rhywun

        I was the sort of kid who sat quietly in a corner reading a book. I have no memory of me yelling or running around the house – if it happened, it happened earlier than I can remember.

      • Viking1865

        It’s a generational/cultural thing. I might be the last person I know who was raised in a very 1970s way. My parents both worked, I got a key as soon as I was old enough to ride the school bus home, me and my friends all ran around the neighborhood on our bikes all summer unsupervised. As soon as I was old enough I learned to make cereal and sandwiches, how to heat up leftovers. I did my own laundry as soon as I was tall enough. Running and screaming was for outside, you didn’t do that in the house. We behaved ourselves at restaurants and at stores, or else my dad would hear about it.

        That Free Range Kids woman whose name escapes me would give my parents a medal for how they raised me.

      • KromulentKristen

        Lenore Skenazy

      • Viking1865

        Yep, one of things I am grateful for TOS for exposing me too.

      • limey

        Yeah me too. She was on a recent Atlas Society video too. Smart lady. Apparently Ithaca NY is now a “Free Range Town”, which sounds promising?

      • rhywun

        ? Ithaca is a super-proggy college town.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I don’t how you people stand it.

        I trained mine not to do that. When my home office door is shut, it’s an insta-spank for her to come in.

        There are also consequences if she interrupts a conversation with more than a single “excuse me” or does various other obnoxious things. As a result, my coworkers wouldn’t know I had any kids if it werent for the little baby screaming in the background on rare occasion.

    • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

      You are just the staff, after all. You’re lucky Kitteh doesn’t have you dismissed without cause.

      • limey

        Unionize, quick!

      • Tulip

        You mean I’m luck he doesn’t kill me in my sleep, especially when the dog is gone. (She’s staying with the dog walker).

      • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

        Kill in your sleep == dismissed without cause.

        In a cat’s mind, they’re pretty much the same thing.

  50. mrfamous

    Someone should start a stock trading site called Dennis Moore.

  51. Count Potato

    “Words can create a more inclusive world, or perpetuate oppression.

    Calling someone an animal as an insult reinforces the myth that humans are superior to other animals & justified in violating them.

    Stand up for justice by rejecting supremacist language.”

    https://twitter.com/peta/status/1354112418276728832

    Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!

    • limey

      STEVE SMITH BALANCES THE LEDGER. HIM VIOLATE HOOMANS FOR #EQUITY.

    • pistoffnick

      “… justified in violating them.”

      Ma’am I don’t have sex with them. I eat ’em.

      • limey

        Yeah but you always look for the ‘Non-violation Assured’ label when you buy meat. You don’t want to eat Florida Man’s sloppy seconds.

    • rhywun

      I think PETA is just a comedic act at this point. Does anyone take them seriously any more?

    • Suthenboy

      I guess I have to stop using the terms ‘shitbirds’ and ‘cockroaches’ to refer to commies.

  52. limey

    I thought by eliminating half of life, the other half would thrive, but you have shown me… that’s impossible. As long as there are those that remember what was, there will always be those, that are unable to accept what can be. They will resist.

    I think you could make a reasonably challenging ‘who said it?’ quiz with quotes from Thanos, and real mass murderers, just having to guess whether it was Thanos or a historical tyrant. Hell, throw in a few contemporary Democrats while your at it.

    I just watched Avengers: Endgame again and it was even better than I remembered it. Coming off that I also get the news that Sif is returning for the next Thor movie, so I’m feeling a little bit happy about that.

    • limey

      Yikes I should have proof read that copy-pasted quote.

  53. KromulentKristen

    I’m angry at the moon for washing out the auroras this week. Motherfucking moon. Who does xe think xe is?

    • Hyperion

      You’re seeing auroras in VA?

      • Hyperion

        You’re even more bored than I am.

        Last night, on one of my regular sites, we were discussing the possibility of the ‘mysterious signal’ from Proxima Centauri being of intelligent source. Which is of course bullshit since there’s no habitable planet in that 3 star system.

        Then it switched to ET mining blackholes for energy…

      • Suthenboy

        I wouldn’t necessarily bet on that. Our knowledge of other planetary systems is pretty sketchy.

      • Hyperion

        I think it’s pretty solid on Proxima Centauri b. It’s only 4 light years away and Proxima Centauri the star is an extremely volatile red dwarf that is bathing that planet constantly in nasty solar flares.

    • limey

      I was out late last night and didn’t even need a flashlight. It was raining a little, and the Moon mad a pretty halo in the haze.

  54. But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

    Okay, so I’ve read everything here on titles, hereditary or otherwise.

    I have two complete BAs and an MBA under my belt.

    From now on, I demand to be referred to as BABAMBA BEAM.

    BABAMBA BEAM has spoken.

    • KromulentKristen

      That doesn’t outrank Madame Web Mistress

      • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

        BABAMBA BEAM IS DISPLEASED WITH YOU, PEON!

      • KromulentKristen

        That’s Madame Web Mistress to you (and everyone else)

    • limey

      I think that’s what the Wakandans chant as they charge into battle.

      • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

        BABAMBA BEAM KINDA LIKES THAT.

    • Tulip

      I’m not calling Jill Biden “Dr.” and I’m not calling you BABAMBA. You’re both ridiculous and pretentious.

      • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

        Your point?

    • Brochettaward

      I outrank you all.

      • Tulip

        Nah

  55. KromulentKristen

    Also in our meeting today, we talked about how excited everyone was that a whole bunch of Obama people might be coming back. In case you were wondering if Puddin Cup would be Obama 2.0.

    • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

      We could also just refer to Biden as “CPC.”

      CPC == Chinese Puddin’ Cup.

    • Hyperion

      Oh boys, y’all be getting some liberal wonks back in town.

      Congrats, KK, your pool of soyboys has just increased.

      • KromulentKristen

        ?

      • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

        Needs must, lass. Needs must.

        AND BABAMBA BEAM COMMANDS IT!

      • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

        (Think of me as the anti-ZARDOZ.)

      • limey

        I am a soyboy. I am not in Kristen’s pool.

      • Hyperion

        But you can be! Just move to NOVA!

      • limey

        It’s too close to the Green Zone. When the large Hawaiian festivities hit, I think I’d rather be somewhere much further away.

      • Hyperion

        What Green Zone?

      • KromulentKristen

        The District of Columbia

      • Hyperion

        Why is it green?

      • limey

        Parallels between the current situation and the Green Zone in Baghdad have been drawn.

      • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

        Apparently, it’s going to be illegal for you to leave your pool and get into Kristen’s pool, very, very soon.

        Kill me now, God. This world’s really starting to blow.

      • Hyperion

        So, we’re banning the British now? Was that Biden’s 31st executive order in 6 days?

      • Suthenboy

        I think the British already banned the British.

      • limey

        Can confirm.

      • Hyperion

        Guys, seriously listen to this bullshit.

        Executive orders by this point in a presidency:

        Obama: 4
        Trump: 6
        Biden: 30

        No fucking bullshit. Even the NYT are calling him out on this. After Biden had said during his nearly non-existent campaign” All these executive orders have to stop, it’s more like a dictatorship.

        Of course, no one expects him to remember what he said this morning, let alone a month ago.

      • limey

        Yes, I believe it is currently illegal for me to be more than a few hundred yards from my pool, let alone joining a pool some several thousand miles away.

      • Hyperion

        Your avatar doesn’t look like a soyboy. Or is a soyboy something different in Limeyville?

      • limey

        It’s Charlie Daniels. Sort of the antithesis of soyboyery.

      • Hyperion

        Well there’s a peach tree on a hill in northern Georgia
        Where a teenage boy sits staring at the ground
        Soon he’ll leave to join the rebel soldiers
        For the Cumberland and Nashville he is bound

      • limey

        Rest in peace, Mr. Daniels.

      • Viking1865

        People say I’m no good and crazy as a loon
        ‘Cause I get stoned in the morning
        And get drunk in the afternoon
        Kinda like my old blue tick hound
        I like to lay around in the shade
        And I ain’t got no money but I damn sure got it made
        ‘Cause I ain’t asking nobody for nothin’
        If I cant get it on my own
        If you don’t like the way I’m livin’
        You just leave this long-haired country boy alone

        I don’t smoke weed anymore, and I keep my hair short, but otherwise thats pretty much my stance on life.

      • Suthenboy

        I tried the long hair thing. I tried the beard thing.

        I couldn’t cut that shit off fast enough.

      • limey

        Ditto. I love that song.

    • Suthenboy

      My condolences.

    • rhywun

      Some nerdy white guy was blathering today about how we have to advertise harder at minorities during one of those “give us your ideas” competitions. I rolled my eyes, checked out, and jumped over to another meeting where I did some real work.

      • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

        Yikes.

      • Hyperion

        You see, them poor color folk, they just don’t understand and we have to help them by telling them what to think. Equality!

      • rhywun

        It’s too bad because out of the 2 of 4 ideas I heard before bailing, the first one – presented with much greater flair by some guy in one of our England offices – was actually pretty good but I bet it doesn’t have a chance of winning the grand prize. Guess I’ll find out tomorrow.

      • Hyperion

        You know the most woke idea will always be best, no matter how bad, stupid, or destructive it is. That is our future until some critical point when it all crashes down.

      • J. Frank Parnell

        another meeting where I did some real work.

        Well, which was it?

    • Hyperion

      I hope all the toxic masculinity isn’t by Beth Dutton this time. I really don’t want to see her drop her droors and the giant penis pop out.

    • westernsloper

      I don’t get it, why didn’t the bikers shoot the cow police?

      • Hyperion

        The same reason a calf popped out and was running 45mph 2 seconds later and people were fishing in the river while riding horses through it and catching fish. It’s a film.

      • Viking1865

        If you shoot Rip Wheeler, it just pisses him off.