OAKLAND – “We are now one step closer to completing Grand Funk Unified Theory, also known as The Notorious G.U.T.” said project director Dr. Marijuana Pepsi. The particle has been named the garyon in honor of Gary Coleman, the late actor famous for his role on Diff’rent Strokes. “This discovery could also be the key to converting Black Lives Matter into Black Lives Energy, but not before we determine the garyon’s charge, spin, and pronouns.” she added.
Meanwhile, Dr. Joanna Gambolputty has been researching Ultraviolet Privilege, a non-ionizing form of prejudice emitted from golf paraphernalia. “We’re not sure whether it flows from the person to the object or vice-versa. It’s possible that the mechanism is similar to the way a the dipole of a pimp’s cane becomes aligned with its owner’s field, for a pimp’s field is very different from that of a square.”
Elsewhere, the National Association for the Advancement of Colored Particles has hailed the discovery of the garyon and demanded that at least three of the Standard Model’s 17 particles be derived from Black Lives Matter. “It’s high time we have a conceptual framework of the universe that looks like America” said NAACP spokesman and nudism advocate Oliver Klozoff. “The garyon is funky-mental to our understanding of nature. Uhuru!” The first subatomic particle of Black Lives Matter discovered, the marion baryon, was not incorporated into the Standard Model as it has thus far only been detected in cocaine.
?? Bravo
You know who else had Black Energy?
George Clinton, that’s who.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTku4XQ0QX8
Prince?
Bootsy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3byI94zEjc4
We Can Funk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5o6I_ycxDqo
Yes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3WOZwwRH6XU
She’s a Freak!
https://youtu.be/7qwvn0gM_vg
Freak
Oh, funk me!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWurqD68u70
O-E-O-E-O
https://youtu.be/N2FPQvwhSDY
Oh man, what a great selection. I knew Jerome back in the day. Coolest dude ever!
Ice Cream Castle is on the playlist tomorrow!
Super Freak Out!
Maggot Brain
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kc8H6USGR90
Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
If you didn’t post it, I was.
Rats and Star?
Oh hell yea! Bravo!
the marion baryon, was not incorporated into the Standard Model as it has thus far only been detected in cocaine.
Heh.
“… the marion baryon, was not incorporated into the Standard Model as it has thus far only been detected in cocaine.”
Bitchquarks set me up! or down!That got a *snort out of me.
Charming!
If Swiss were here, he’d be spinning.
He’s not positively charged right now
One might say his outlook has decayed.
Quark puns can be strange.
But are these top puns?
Crack puns, you could say.
Excellent, Derpey!
Grand Funk
Desirous of funk
Very nice, Hobbit!
I’m on the train as it goes down the rabbit hole.
Where I was going
I might carry some garyon because I say, “what you talkin bout?” a bit too much. But I appropriated that back when the show was on and we were doing the whole trying to achieve the whole color free/content of character society back then. Some how they convinced the masses that was nonsense. Fuck the masses I am still doing it.
Can you imagine a network today depicting some rich white guy raising two streetwise black children?! My god, the internet would blow up from the reaction.
Who knows? We have so many assholes playing white savior it is unbelievable.
The father would have to grovel for their forgiveness because of his ancestral guilt on every other episode.
The cartoon episode would be a little different with Arnold learning what a vanilla he is and how he needs to submit.
Watch it, Dwayne.
I appropriated that back when I was exactly the person they were marketing and producing the show for.
The only problem is that real life lefty gibberish is about on par with this.
+100 grams of neuromelanin
Black lives energy is just black physicists’ fancy way of saying that they don’t understand jive gravity.
Cut em some slack jack.
Jive ass dude’s ain’t got no brains anyhow!
Smack ‘em, yak ‘em!
I read some of this in this guy’s voice.
Anything know anything about the Soviet/Nazi show trial the senate is having? Has it started yet?
Tomorrow
As far as I can tell, it’s going to be a parade of pusillanimous psychopaths relating stories of terror from that fateful day when none of them received so much as a friendly slap on the ass.
Next time, now that we know that anything done by people to the right of Maoists is going to be depicted as domestic terrorism and insurrection, they might as well actually hang a few of these cunts from lamp posts.
I just glanced over at some of the news outlets. Trust me on this….dont do that.
Trust me, I won’t be doing that.
Getting pissed off doesn’t help you go to sleep.
“Getting pissed off doesn’t help you go to sleep.”
Story of my life, homeboy.
If the not-Dems had a nut to share between them they’d declare the whole thing an unconstitutional farce and walk out of the chamber.
The local paper had an op-ed columnist who questioned whether AOC’s harrowing tale was completely accurate. The newspaper, which rarely runs any “letters to the editor,” has now run three letters from irate women along the line of “how dare you question the narrative of any women who ever underwent a sexual assault.”
Which is precisely why she fabricated the sex-assault claim in the last 2 weeks, and not during #METOO.
Anybody that goes after her BS is now “picking on a rape survivor”.
She already had the retard victim card to play. Now she has the sexual assault one, too? Just make her president now.
Just because.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xqMY8UAGgg
Very nice! I bow to your depth of funkitude.
Ima gonna go tighten up my stroke, now.
You are a bad, bad Mrs.
In them skin tight britches
Runnin’ folks in ditches
Baby about to bust the stitches, yeah
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBG3qpYj5DU
RC Dean:
My employer is based in western PA; we have lots of HQ and manufacturing employees who live in OH and WV who commute to PA. I live in a different county than our HQ, but technically work out of HQ. We are required to pay a county head tax for the privilege of working in Allegheny county. The employer collects it, so we can’t even elect not to write a check.
^in a just world this would be illegal.
aye
I pay taxes to NJ and my company is not headquartered there, I don’t work there, I don’t live there, and I have not entered the state in over a year. But lo! My office – which I have never visited – is there.
Does your office you’ve never been to have a door?
LOL I don’t have my “own” office. I assume it’s a cubicle within the office, so… no door. I have no intention of visiting before mask theater is over, either.
*I should add that this is the same company that fired me in 2018 and so technically, I have been to that office – since I did work there for four years – but it wasn’t relevant to the current discussion.
Pay attention to New Hampshire v. Massachusetts in the Supreme Court. You might just get some relief.
WTF?
My daughter is in the same boat, City of Phila. Her employer simply stopped collecting city wage tax for all those employees who live outside the city and are WFH.
So if you start an Onlyfans page and some Jersey boys or Yinzers are wanking to you, do you pay state sales tax where you are based or where the wankers are based?
Both!
/Taxman
everywhere!
Fess up. You came up with the garyon and wrote the rest of this so you could use it.
I think it’s actually gayryons. You know, the stuff they put in the Covid vaccines.
Oh, Bravo, sir!
I’m not here yet, but wanted to share a link before I forgot. I linked it because I thought you all might like it. By the time I get back to this thread, it will be hrs.
Oh, hi everybody!
Hi DJ!……the link is a little deep for my pre-dinner/cocktail hour glibbining. TLDR yet.
I take it that The Atlantic won’t be pushing his new work on their platform.
He’s long been a “centrist” of sorts. I’m sure they know what they’re getting into.
I’m almost here. This is the intellectual polar opposite.
Well that’s the same damn link! Try this.
Who was it that said that Donald Trump really is a real estate genius, ’cause he’s living rent-free in the heads of millions of leftist Americans?
The author is proof positive of that.
Me. I said that. Months and years ago.
Hi DenverJ! Thanks for the link. I love John McWhorter. I don’t always agree with him but he makes me think.
Pre funk
https://www.last.fm/music/Sam+Cooke/_/You+Send+Me
Nice, Fourscore,. That and Chain Gang were in heavy rotation while I was growing up.
https://youtu.be/kDq-AjPtU6Q
Not funk
My new obsession The Main Squeeze
Nice. That guy’s voice is killer. Didn’t expect it to be so high judging from his appearance.
Did somebody say funk?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ppAPO-DIHo
Nice!
And something more modern that funks almost as hard as Sly.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=M0ymw768TCQ
The only thing more pathetic than the supposed Firsting around here is the taste in music.
You’re the only one who subjects yourself to us.
Admit it, you like us better than you want to admit.
So you admit that Firsting is pathetic? ;^)
Meanwhile, honky, the solution to
speechmusic you don’t like, is morespeechmusic you do like.Post ’em up!
Meanwhile, I’m gettin’ funked up.
Firsting is the proudest thing one can do. There’s nothing pathetic about it when done right. You are all just doing it wrong. When I reclaim my throne, I will show you all the way. Like Superman or Jesus I will guide you to the light.
I bet if you try you could be more wrong than the statements you just made, but it will be difficult.
You are truly the Rygel XVI of Firsting
Great reference db!
Is your avatar butchering the horse that you beat to death?
Since everyone is dropping the funk.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Sh9cezHNec
Those 2 backup singers ? Would & Would. Heartily.
| You know who else had black energy?
Betty Davis
So funky, I may have to eat some Speed Stick
Included in my Christmas box o’meat are pork short ribs. Suggestions for how to cook them?
Grill over fire until they are somewhat blackened on the outside and all white on the inside. Lots of sauce, too.
I met a woman from craigslist with the same handle- box o’meat
Speaking of women and Craigslist, you should publish some of your ads.
Ya think? Its kind of a niche audience. I wish I would have saved the replies I got- they honestly got me laid a lot.
#RIP_CLPersonals
I’m sure they are hilarious. You have to post them.
Maybe I’ll ask the neighbor to smoke them.
In a bowl or bong ?
Korean BBQ. Buy a small hibachi grill to put in the center of your outdoor table, or get some granite stones or cast iron blocks you can heat to 700+ degF to let each diner cook the thinly sliced meat themselves.
Dry rub, slow bake for 4-5 hours and then finish on grill with sauce. Serve with extra sauce, cole slaw and corn bread to sop up the extra sauce.
Hmm
And dill pickle spears.
Dry rub is salt, garlic powder, dried onion, paprika, black pepper, and brown sugar. Fall off the bone goodness.
What temp? about 225F?
Yup.
I may just try that. I have a bunch of short ribs from a beef I bought last year…
Easy, effective, foolproof, and delicious.
Sous vide, if you’re geared up for it.
Pork short ribs? How are they cut?
–24 in Nodak this am and still not a face mask to be seen.
Were they wearing masks under neath their scarves? That covered their faces?
Scarves? It wasn’t that cold.
Wonderful, Derp. Can’t wait to see the woke version of The Manhattan Project. Don’t know if this counts as Funk, but I luv it.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CyGw0PoH2vU
“16th century canal ring”
Boy, did I misread that one
I snort-laughed.
“…spokesman and nudism advocate…”
I flashed on Peter Sellers in A Shot in the Dark, and his conversation with Turk.
https://youtu.be/6uAIbLLSniw?t=42
White Funk.
That bass line!
I’m all about that slap bass, no treble.
Nothing compares to Tony Levin’s bass line in this song.
I remember the exact moment I first saw that video. We were all at the Blue Goose Bar (not it’s real name, run by Jim and Phyllis) in North Central Minnesota. It was a place known for serving under-age punks (which I was):
“You boys aren’t 18 are you?”
“No.”
“Well, don’t tell anybody.”
*narrator* They told everyone. The marketing campaign was brilliant!
Is it Friday yet? Because, man, this week.
‘fraid not.
I have friday off (decided I wanted a long weekend) and I worked today.
It’s President’s Day Monday, so it is already a long weekend.
why do you think I took friday off too?
Four-day weekend!
I don’t get Presidents Day but I did decide to take off next Monday just because.
Me too.
Same. I’m procrastinating doing paperwork that I should’ve done a week ago and now I really don’t wanna do it because I’m late.
It better not be. I gotta shit-ton to get done before Friday.
January was crazy AF like in many offices. February is a breeze so far. In fact, we got so much done in January that the suits don’t have enough work lined up for us right now.
I wish it was like that. Project deadline is Friday and it’s still a total shitshow. Actually Friday is the regulatory due date so the softish want to have it done due date is Wednesday, which I don’t think we re going to make.
Well it’s not like there’s nothing to do – it’s just that the stuff to do is a lot of stuff that nobody wants to do like “documentation” ?
Frell that.
Not wanting to dot i’s and cross t’s is why we keep finding things not right.
Nikka funk
I’m in a rented beach house on the tip of Cape Cod, sitting in front of a fire, drinking wine.
I could get used to this.
Sadly, have to leave in the morning and back to the grind on Wednesday.
Sounds perfect. Enjoy!
That sounds awesome. I spent almost 2 months in Orleans nearly 20 years ago during February-March–I had nearly nothing to do, but my employer was paying me to be there just in case our client needed me on site. I had a decent suite with a gas log fireplace and basically played video games and proofread other people’s reports the whole time, when I wasn’t wandering around the cape freezing my ass off and looking for open restaurants.
You got just the tip?
How is Provincetown?
Just read the article. Pretty sure that it is rascist as fuck.
Always a wise interpretation.
“Spindelkirka” would be the more Swedish form of the placename ‘Spiderchurch’, but the English-speaker in me keeps wanting to switch it to “Spindlekirk”.
Which one sounds better? It’s for a placename in Snaerveldi.
Spindlekirk is too obviously olde Brittania.
Spindlekirka.
I can never tell when you’re being serious or sarcastic.
In that case, no way for me to assure you either way.
you could drop letters (e.g. Spinekirka) or mutate a later (Spindelgurg) to make it stray from the root, if you want something that has corrupted over time?
*mutate a LETTER.
jfc I’m not even on my phone, I have no excuse
Regarding R.C. Dean’s comment on the previous article regarding the simplicity of electric vs. IC drivetrains on modern vehicles. While the motor and transmissions are simpler by virtue of having fewer moving parts, climate control and battery temperature control are much more intricate on EV as the battery temperature aspect is a full time job even if the car is not “running.” On an IC, a non-functioning climate control can be ignored for the most part. On an EV, it needs to work to keep the battery from overheating in the summer or freezing in the winter. The Fiat 500e is a good example of the latter. Chrysler/ Fiat has simply been buying them back when the batteries die due to freezing temperatures because the replacement cost under warranty exceeds the value of the car.
Yeah, but you didn’t price in the thrill of sitting on a bomb that could go off any minute. I mean, how do you even price that?
To be fair, a gas tank provides plenty of punch under the right circumstances.
See, I knew somebody here would have actual knowledge.
I have lots of knowledge about stuff. Lots of knowledge.
And many girlfriends in the Niagra Falls area.
You don’t know them…
Bravo Derpe! If you aren’t already moonlighting for The Babylon Bee then you should be.
Marijuana Pepsi could be a character name in Idiocracy. *kisses both of Derpetologist’s cheeks*
*snaps in Z pattern*
https://www.npr.org/2019/06/21/734839666/dr-marijuana-pepsi-wont-change-her-name-to-make-other-people-happy
Dr. Marijuana Pepsi Won’t Change Her Name ‘To Make Other People Happy’
I planned to always number my children. Number One would naturally be my favorite.
A peak into the Bro’s home life.
https://youtu.be/d0LaT6qVRpg
I read the article. I know it’s NPR but I still the entire story is a gag. They’re just finding how much they can get away with.
What a breakthrough! The discovery of the garyon gives us hope that the as-yet only hypothetical emmanuellewon may also be found!
And I confess I haven’t every link already posted tonight, but IMO no discussion of funk is complete without this.
Honorable mention
https://youtu.be/9UbZhY77NkE
I’m watching the New York Times documentary on Brittany Spears.
Never in my life have I seen so many morons in one place at one time.
Starting with the producer?
Yes.
And people who don’t even bother to understand what the purpose of a conservatorship is, but are interviewed as “experts”.
Sounds like I would be pulling my hair out after 5 minutes. It’s good to see the NYT maintain their standards.
Gluttony for punishment? Grey Labia explains the Shaved Labia.
We need to go through the motions of holding Presidents accountable so that we can do it for real in 15 years.
https://mobile.twitter.com/palomamedia/status/1358998255795924992
15 years? You never know when the next Republican/Hitler could be elected.
And I’m serious on that. The Republicans, being the stupid party that they are, are helping to normalize impeachment as a political tool. It’d be stupid to assume they’re just going to pull it out against Trump now that they got away with it once. Republicans should refuse to even participate in this.
I would not only vote for them, but might even contribute if they did it this way.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFiv9M577a4
White guys funk. What else could it be?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFiv9M577a4
No, not Helen Reddy.
Further proof that white guys can funk.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6uC26Z-VgNw
Nice work there, derp.
Changing the names and nature of scientific particles might be factually inaccurate, but it’s morally true.
We jest about it now like it’s extreme hyperbole, but what is to stop the wokesters from rewriting particle physics next?
I realize I’m dead thread humping now at this late hour, but I was musing about the limit of political correctness in what is taught.
Certainly wokesters have overhauled history, sociology, arts, and to some extent psychology in their content and areas of emphasis.
But what about medicine? When doctors are in the diagnosis phase, birth gender can be an important clue. This can be due to genetics in recessive sex-linked diseases, what internal organs a person has, hormones, possibility of pregnancy etc.
Do doctors let trans patients declare their preferred gender, but then keep a secret “birth gender” box ticked somewhere in that barcode?
There are even some trends that are race linked (osteoporosis more likely in Caucasian and “North Asian”, African ancestry making sickle cell anemia more likely, or merely the malaria resistance conferred by a single sickle gene). There are even different recommended medications By race.
In pharmaceutical trials, they use white males in order to reduce the number of variables and to make sure they don’t mess up any eggs parked there in the ovaries.
If a transman signed up for a clinical trial of a new drug, do you think he/she would be accepted?
If medicine becomes more Woke, we’re all going to get less safe,
I imagine medicine will be focused on your DNA scan?
Nope, they will be focused on rating your priviledge score via craniometrics and mealanodensity.
Medicine is going woke, ‘splosives. New docs are trained in (collectivist) “population health”. Gender, not necessarily sex, is entered into your medical record. Clinical trials are supposed to be “representative of the community”. Etc.
Oh, the joys of 3rd shift lifestyle and gettin’ a d̵a̵y̵ night off.
Im drunk, cleanin tha crib, and listening to coast-to-coast AM talkin about “energy vampires”
Oh the joy of waking at 430, no tall cans…..
Mornin y’all
Good morning, Glibboys.
I got regular cans, but like 60 of ’em
Wheee haaaa!
https://philadelphia.cbslocal.com/2021/02/08/lee-pedrick-fire-crossing-guard-prospect-park-delaware-county-washington-avenue/
Occasionally, people don’t suck.
I personally know that the Glibs Dont suck,
Howdy Sean,
Mornin’
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=G3LvhdFEOqs
?
suh’ fam
Up all night, watching the snoo
Some sun would be nice.
Glad you didn’t need to be out in it. Looks as if it’s mainly passed to the east. (Lookin’ at you, PA & NY,)
Finally stopped here, clear roads and 10 degrees, work awaits, Cheeers peeps,
Stay warm!
Romantic.
Yeah, let’s cancel their college debt.
🙁 I overslept. I ended up having to connect to work even before looking at glibs or saying morning.
I had to get up and drive my ass to work. It’s cold out.
/frowny face
At least I have heated seats.
Not getting up in time is still a mark of shame. Even if my commute is short.
Good morning anyway. : )
Morning.
First Impressions of the Governor and Sveta Udir?
Maskless Super Bowl Fans ‘Will Be Identified’ By Police, Tampa Mayor Says
https://www.newsweek.com/coronavirus-florida-maskless-super-bowl-fans-tampa-police-identify-mayor-1567816
For what? That needs to flood the courtrooms
“Everyone knows that simply wearing a mask dramatically reduces the spread of COVID-19.”
? Any fule no.
Thanks for the red-dirt report, OBE.