Game of Chance – Part 4

by | Feb 2, 2021 | Fiction | 227 comments

As Floyd pulled into the parking lot he asked, “You ever been in here?”

Nah,” Russ said, “I’ve been meaning to stop in but I figured I could get free coffee and a doughnut at your house, why waste my money?”

Floyd rolled his eyes and knew that Russ was being honest anyway. They went in, found a small table in the near empty shop, looked around and saw the sign that said “Rest Rooms” and knew they had chosen the right table. The only employee visible came over and asked, ”Well, well, well, what’s it gonna be, Old Timers?”

With that both Floyd and Russ became alert and slightly annoyed at the smart alecky tone of voice and looked at the young man. “Oh, it’s only Gus,” Floyd said, surprised. “I didn’t know you worked here, Gus, how long have you been here, pissing off people?”

With that, they all laughed, Gus gave Floyd and Russ each a menu. “When you’re ready to order, let me know,” Gus said and walked away.

As they read down the menu Russ looked around and said quietly, “Man, they’ve got some serious prices here, I’m not going to be coming here too often.”

Floyd told him, “You’ve got to get out more often, prices are up everywhere, it’s called inflation and not going to get any better.”

They finally settled on a roll and the cheapest coffee and called Gus over and gave him their order. Gus came back quickly with their order and Floyd said, “Hey, Gus, you didn’t answer my question. When did you start working here and why?”

Gus: “Well, I graduated last spring, with a BA in History, minor in Ed, sent out a few resumes and found that history teachers are not in short supply, didn’t get a single response. My mom has been helping me a little and she isn’t going to run for mayor again, she wants to move on with her life. Besides, it’s time for me to start paying off the loans that I stupidly used to get a degree that really isn’t very useful. I needed a job and when this place opened I was hired. I’m Assistant Manager but then that’s the title of all the employees. If anyone wants to complain and talk to someone in Management we just go get the person in the back. Solves a lot of problems.”

Both Floyd and Russ nodded, they’d heard the same story over and over on Fox News and from friends whose kids had been convinced by the school counselors that all kids should go to college.

Gus asked Floyd about the property he’d won, saying he’d heard about the many problems involved. He told Floyd he sure was glad that Floyd had bought his ticket and saved him a bunch of headaches.

After they finished the free refill Russ picked up the bill, went to the register and gave Gus a twenty for the 16 dollar tab and told him that included his tip. Gus told him to come back anytime, he was always happy to see familiar faces.

As they drove away, both sort of agreed that Gus was OK, trying to solve a problem that he himself had created. Floyd dropped Russ off and drove on home.

 

A few weeks later…

Coming home from shopping Floyd noticed a car in front of his house but didn’t pay too much attention. As he was opening the door to the house he heard a voice behind him, “Floyd, can I talk to you for a few minutes?”

Floyd turned and saw that it was Tony. “Sure, Tony, come on in, I’ll make coffee, that usually brings Russ, damn guy is like a bear, can smell the doughnuts from blocks away. What’s up, Tony?”

Tony began to explain, “You know I had to get the property surveyed to work with the pond by the back lot. Then I had to go to the Zoning Board and ask for a zoning change. Well, I did all that, not cheap but at least it’s done and over. The city stole two of my back lots for a park by the pond or else they wouldn’t change the zoning.

Here’s where I am at. I decided to build a strip center across the front. I’ve got a couple spaces pre-leased and the corner across the pawn shop I want to use for a gun store. See, here’s the deal, I take in a lot of guns, pawned or bought, I use a lot of space for inventory and I need extra security, always need someone that understands the law when I sell a gun, just plain an extra workload.”

Yeah, I know,” Floyd said, “I’ve bought a couple guns and it’s a real pain in the butt. So, what’s that got to do with me?”

Tony: “Well, I need someone to manage the gun store for me. The store will be an annex from the pawn shop so there’s no accounting, payroll or administration to do, we’ll do that at the pawn shop. Someone that knows guns, security and can learn how to deal in the day to day operations. You’re an old army guy, you’re a hunter and have experience in gun safety. You can learn how to deal with the law and the form requirements, in addition, we’ll be right across the street. If someone comes in with a gun to sell, I’ll send them over to you. We often pawn guns that are never picked up. What I do is take the gun for a pawn, 90 days, after that I write a letter, telling the owner to either pick up the gun or come in and pay the interest on the loan. After the 2nd 90 days the gun belongs to me and we can legally sell it.

You would also buy guns but not pawn them, the pawns would still be done at the pawnshop. You would also work with dealers and dealers’ reps and buy new guns. I would want you to spend a few weeks at the pawn shop to learn how we control inventory and so on, give you a chance to learn the details.”

Well,” Floyd said, “You certainly have me interested, I know a lot about hunting guns but I’d have to learn about the newer stuff. A couple questions I have though. I’d want to open carry while I’m working and would want to do the hiring and firing at the gun store.”

With that, Tony said, “I think we can work that out. When can you start at the pawn shop? We can use you now. Oh, also I’d expect you to work with the interior design and security people during the construction phase of the gun store.”

Knock-knock-knock”

See I told you, Russ can smell the doughnuts. C’mon in, Russ.”

Russ came in, both Russ and Tony greeted each other, exchanged pleasantries and Tony said goodbye and left. Russ looked at Floyd and asked, “What was all that about, Ol’ Bud?”

Better get a big cup a joe and sit down, this is gonna take a while,” Floyd told Russ.

About The Author

Fourscore

Fourscore

227 Comments

  1. juris imprudent

    Somewhere in here I hear echoes of my dad teaching me that once you’re in a hole, you’d best stop digging.

  2. DEG

    I wonder what Tony really has up his sleeve.

  3. Trigger Hippie

    ‘Well, I graduated last spring, with a BA in History, minor in Ed, sent out a few resumes and found that history teachers are not in short supply, didn’t get a single response’

    ‘It’s time for me to start paying off the loans that I stupidly used to get a degree that really isn’t very useful.’

    This commentary you’re using about my older brother is both amusing and hurtful.

  4. straffinrun

    This is a continuation, right? Works really well as just a snippet in time. *Searches archives for previous story*

    • Fourscore

      Punch my handle at the top of the page, takes you back in time

      • straffinrun

        Thanks.

  5. blackjack

    AH! Working his way slowly to killdozer action. He has the motive and now the armaments, he just needs the motive power.

  6. straffinrun

    *Checks previous story and comments*

    UCS trying to be helpful or just tearing down someone else’s work? I always hate trying to give feedback on other people’s writing because it’s so easy to be/look like an A hole.

    • Sensei

      Given the totality of UCS’s postings I’d be charitable.

      But I haven’t read the comment you’re referencing either.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I assume that anything UCS posts involves a tongue planted firmly in a cheek.

      • straffinrun

        Not that one. He goes on to explain what’s wrong. He’s written a lot and so he’s got some good insights. No reason to take a shot like that on the first comment. Makes me less eager to submit stuff cuz I’m not that great a writer. If we’re pros, I get being straight and harsh.

      • Chafed

        Straff I write an article every week. 99+% of the time people appreciate it. It’s rare for someone to be a dick. When it happens and it is a regular commenter, it’s not your article. Something is happening in their life.

      • Sensei

        That’s the way I feel too with the few articles I’ve written.

      • Tulip

        I’m not a very good writer and I post stuff. I liked your piece about drinking in parking lots.

      • straffinrun

        Thanks. I’ll make some sauce there and make it a crossover episode.

      • Tonio

        “I’m not that great a writer…”

        Welp, there it is, kids. None of us is. Well except maybe Sug and Ozy (text-only).

      • straffinrun

        My false modesty sold a little better than I had hoped. 😉

      • Trigger Hippie

        *pssst*

        Mo! You forgot Mo!

        *looks around nervously*

      • Mojeaux

        Aw, thanks!

        SF and Ozy each have a skillset I can’t lay claim to, so Tonio isn’t wrong.

      • Tonio

        Oops, yeah. That goes without saying.

        But in my own defense she contributes sporadically here.

        NTTAWWT. She has a life.

      • Mojeaux

        She has a life.

        Boy, do I have you fooled!

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m sorry that the deadpan humor fell flat. I do not want to discourage anyone. Except maybe people who call ‘first’.

      • straffinrun

        It’s fine. I work with kids on the spectrum. I’m used to having to say things as unsugar coated as possible.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Hah! Not a great writer? Take it from someone who actually is terrible, your work is more than fine.

      • robc

        One of my articles was called “The most hated article in glibs history” so you probably arent going to top that. So you are good to go. I have set a very low bar for everyone to leap over.

      • Fourscore

        UCS is my bud and he is just trying to be helpful

      • straffinrun

        UCS is fine. He gave you straight criticism and so I’m giving it straight back at him. He’s not here now, so I’ll let it go.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m either asleep or rereading one of my books.

        *looks at other monitor*

        I’m re-reading one of my books.

        As for commentary on other people’s writing, I am either trying to be funny, or constructive.

      • Chafed

        More like hand firmly in editing glove.

      • Swiss Servator

        Or is full green eyed monster…

  7. Tundra

    This is getting good!

    How’s things in the Great White North, Fourscore?

    • Fourscore

      My daughter, whom you met, is coming on Sat for a week, just in time to hunker down in the Arctic.

      • Tundra

        Nice! I hope you all have a fantastic time!

  8. Mojeaux

    My husband wins stuff. He sweepstakes a lot. You all know that.

    Sometimes–well, most of the time–that stuff comes with a cost. Occasionally he’ll say, “What about this contest?” He’ll explain. I’ll say, “Nope. Not gonna take a chance you win that one.”

    So Tony found out there’s a cost to winning.

    • Ted S.

      Your husband won sex-change surgery?

    • straffinrun

      +1 Charlie Sheen

      • Mojeaux

        #winning

    • Chafed

      I’m sure the real estate taxes are high but you could always sell it.

      https://youtu.be/XnigFYLM4XI

      • Mojeaux

        HGTV learned their lesson on that one. Now all the dream homes they give away come with cash to cover the taxes. Nowadays, most of the huge prizes do come with some cash to cover the cost.

        When he won the car and I found out how much the taxes were going to cost, I damn near shit myself.

      • Deplorableme

        Many years ago, my wife worked at a company that was bought by Intel. Soon after, she was laid off – but as part of year severence package, she got a HP computer system with a printer. I thought cool, I’ll go ahead and sell it as we already had decent hardware. It wasn’t anything special, pretty low to mid range setup, I figure it was worth maybe $1200 tops. Anyways, I sold it to a buddy of mine for $500. Along comes January the following year and I get some 1099 or something from Intel saying the computer was worth $3000 in compensation. Holy Shit! No way could that setup be worth that much, but now I have to pay taxes for that POS. That Fing machine ended up costing me $1000 in taxes for a machine I never used. As far as Intel, I bet they were able to deduct that $3000 on their balance sheet. With a racket like that, Intel makes money for every machine they give away.

      • Mojeaux

        Yeup!

        The pain of the 1099s. I feel it with you.

      • Playa Manhattan

        Speaking of real estate taxes,

        Have you been getting a lot of inquiries about intentionally defective grantor trusts lately?

      • Chafed

        Nope. But I think I know where you are going. I would do one to dodge RE taxes. A recent appellate ruling backed the state on a similar issue. I don’t believe they will work for that.

      • Playa Manhattan

        I just found out about the implications of Prop 19 yesterday. I have less than 2 weeks to make up my mind.

      • grrizzly

        You inspired me. My partner has 2 Bonvoy cards and 45 nights already. The only cat 1 Marriott hotel in Northeast is in Williamstown, MA. That’s where we’re heading this Sunday to watch Tommy winning his 7th Super Bowl. Then the partner will be just a step away from platinum. Or may even get it if we “stay” there for 5 nights.

      • slumbrew

        Nice – we’re headed to the Cape; wife won’t do a hotel but an AirBnB is apparently OK. Some Superbowl watching / wife’s birthday getaway.

      • Playa Manhattan

        The breakfast alone is worth it.

        The JW in Phoenix gave me a $25 credit (per person) for the restaurant, which was enough for huevos rancheros and a mimosa.

        Upgrades are hit and miss…. if the hotel is not near capacity, sometimes you can get really lucky. They put me in the penthouse at the Esmeralda Indian Wells for 3 nights last year… I had to give my kids a pretty stern lecture: we don’t normally live like this, don’t tell anyone, don’t fuck up the room, and don’t get used to it. All they wanted to do was play hide and seek in the room, and the entire point of going there was to be outside.

      • Chafed

        PM do you already hold title to the property?

      • Playa Manhattan

        Yes. Purchased 2003, so lower than average property tax. I want to get it to my kids without triggering reassessment.

      • Chafed

        1. They’re fine if they live in it.
        2. They are much too young to inherit anything.
        3. Who knows what the law will be or if California will even use US currency by the time they do.

    • Chafed

      I’ll bet #2 is also GlibFit. Here’s hoping DEG uses his magic to find out.

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      Outstanding collection.

  9. Chafed

    Tundra what happened to MikeS. I know he disappeared for a while because his work life was insanely busy. He came back for a bit but then seems to have disappeared.

    • Tundra

      He’s alive and well! Busy dude.

    • Gender Traitor

      Speaking of AWOL Glibs, I haven’t seen Jarflax lately. He & I have a bet going re: whether Biden finishes his term.

  10. Tonio

    “I decided to build a strip center across the front.”

    [stands and applauds]

    Most libertarian, ever.

  11. kinnath

    I am still hooked on the story 4score.

    • Hyperion

      Just imagine if they give them guns. Then they’ll be like cops only worse!

      Seriously, I’ve seen the attitude. Back in the summer, a while after this whole lockdown crap started, I was talking to one of them, a neighbor, who was off work, and bragging about still getting paid, although not doing any work. I said ‘I’m still getting paid too, but I’m actually working, it’s called working from home’. She seemed taken aback about that, and then made a political comment which I had zero reaction, poker face, to. Then she said ‘Oh, I have to go, and ran off’.

      The attitude is unbelievable.

      • rhywun

        bragging about still getting paid, although not doing any work

        I… can’t even.

        My company is mostly WFH and we’re busier than ever.

      • Hyperion

        Seriously, she acted like not working and getting paid is some sort of glorious victory for all humankind. I sort of liked her, before that.

      • Hyperion

        Yeah, working from home, mysteriously did not make any work go away, for me.

    • Chafed

      I’d prefer to test them for COVID with a Chinese anal swab.

  12. Sensei

    If you don’t want to watch 15 minutes of miniature machining skip to the last three minutes or so of making the most ridiculous lighter in the world.

    https://youtu.be/LVgXZCEdbqQ

    Of course I think it’s awesome too.

    • slumbrew

      That’s the greatest/stupidest lighter ever.

  13. Muzzled Woodchipper

    A friend posted one of those stupid things for you to look up.

    The #1 song on your 7th birthday is what will define 2021.

    I was not amused with my result.

    The Police – I’ll Be Watching You

    As if I didn’t already know that I’m likely on several watch lists for my aggressive libertarianism.

    • Hyperion

      Well, you friend is a 21st century Nostradamus for sure. I wish I was joking.

      Maybe your next birthday tune prophecy will be ‘The Dream Police’.

    • Mojeaux

      “(Hey Won’t You Play) Another Somebody Done Somebody Wrong Song”

      Welp.

      • slumbrew

        Though Sir Duke was on top during my actual birthday, with K. C. dethroning it a couple days after.

    • UnCivilServant

      Where would you even look that up?

      • Mojeaux

        Google your birthday and #1 song.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m not telling google that.

      • UnCivilServant

        So the result… does not predict anything.

    • rhywun

      I got something called “Disco Lady”.

      Never heard of it.

      PS. It’s terrible.

    • Trigger Hippie

      Walk Like an Egyptian by the Bangels?

      Da Fuk is dat supposed to mean?!

      • Mojeaux

        Heh. That’s my ringtone.

      • Trigger Hippie

        But for the year 2021, what?

        It implies so many things for a guy two bowls and three beers deep on a…Tuesday?

        …Think of the possibilities/ramifications!!!

      • slumbrew

        Think Tahrir Square.

      • Trigger Hippie

        So, this Spring will suck as much if not more than last Spring?

      • Chipwooder

        I don’t know but Susannah Hoffs was fucking hot

      • Trigger Hippie

        I’m just hoping that Mo’s ringtone plays at the part where Susannah was looking suggestive to the side of the stage during that video.

      • The Last American Hero

        Biden will invade Egypt.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      Ugh.

      You Light Up My Life by Debby Boone

      I hated that song when I was 7 and still hate it now.

      • rhywun

        Ouch. That’s unfortunate.

    • straffinrun

      “ A friend posted one of those stupid things for you to look up.”

      /Glibs all proceed to do exactly that.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Hey, I’m bored and alone…and at least I used DuckDuckGo to find it.

        They still give us at least a modicum of privacy…right? Maybe? For God’s sake, can I escape tracking for anybody?!

      • dbleagle

        Happy Together by the Turtles. I will do you a favor and not link it. But my actual birthday is even worse: “Theme from a Summer Place” by Percy Faith. It is a Muzak top ten, if you’ve ever been stuck on a elevator you have heard it.

      • Mojeaux

        “Theme from a Summer Place” by Percy Faith

        *quietly hides Percy Faith music*

      • straffinrun

        Funny guy, making that a response to my comment.

      • Gender Traitor

        Yes, I looked it up. No, I’m not telling what it is because then you’ll all know how old I am. : (

        Happily, it’s a song I like, and it has a positive outlook.

      • Gender Traitor

        Used with every TV news feature about exorcism ever.

        Let’s just say the if the #1 song on my 7th birthday is any predictor of 2021, maybe it will start to make it better.

      • hayeksplosives

        Yup. But at least we don’t have to gicee we some third party app access to all our Facebook data.

        Mine was “Your Kiss is on My List” by Hall and Oats.

        I wasn’t the biggest fan of Hall and Oates but I greatly enjoy Daryl Hall now, especially his Daryl’s House stuff.

    • Chipwooder

      All Night Long by Lionel Richie……ok, I guess?

      • KSuellington

        Great tune that. I got a free ticket with the wife to a music festival a few years back playing in Golden Gate Park. Lionel was the headliner. He was actually pretty awesome. After the first tune or two he said, “okay I just came out with a new album and we are going to play every song from it.” Three second pause. “Ha! No way do you want to hear that, you want to hear all the tunes you know. That’s what we are playing.” He then went through all the hits, and he had a lot. He closed with that one, fun time.

    • commodious spittoon

      Dreamlover, Mariah Carey. I think it means I get more sleep this year.

    • Chipwooder

      My wife’s is…..We Are the World? ?????

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      “Are You Lonesome Tonight” by ELLLLVUS

      • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

        “Ticket to ride” by The Beatles.
        Hmmmmmm.

    • R C Dean

      Bad Moon Rising.

      Just great.

    • KSuellington

      Kung Fu Fighting.

      Actually, that sounds pretty good.

      *makes Bruce Lee noises and mimics badly dubbed English*

    • Bill Door

      “I’d Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That)” by Meatloaf. I don’t know what it means, but it makes me feel better about myself when I look in the mirror.

    • Charlie Suet

      Going by the UK charts, No Limit, by 2 Unlimited.

      Seems optimistic.

    • Fourscore

      “Yankee Doodle” by the Revolutionaries- original cast

  14. trshmnstr the terrible

    OT: Grrrrr. Father in law, after 48 hours of pleasant interaction, has to toss his patented wrench into the system. Always. Always has to do something like this.

    “Hey, how about you commit a federal firearms felony instead of just a standard private transfer”

    “Umm no”

    “I’m confused. Why can’t you just simplify the transaction?”

    “Um, the transaction is between you and me, not between me and your daughter who just moved to California. Me buying a gun from somebody living in California without using a FFL has a name… Felony”

    “but they haven’t officially sold their house in Texas yet and they have only started moving into their place in California today”

    “Okay, there are two ways to do this. Option 1 is that I buy from you like the plan was all along, and you sort out whatever you need to with your daughter to fulfill the terms of your contract with her. Heck, I’m happy to give you a copy of the bill of sale for you to memorialize your transaction with her. Everybody is doing plainly and perfectly legal things, but there are two pieces of paperwork. Option 2 is that I forge the bill of sale between you and me to instead be between your daughter and me, opening both her and me up to federal prosecution if ATF were to ever find out. I’ma go with option 1 thank you very much.”

    ” well, I just think it’s unnecessary, and I’m not sure I want to be on the paperwork. ”

    ” fine, find another buyer”

    • Chafed

      Way to stand firm Trashy. FIL is (unknowingly I hope) being asshoe.

      • slumbrew

        unknowingly I hope

        Sounds like a job for Hanlon’s Razor…

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        He knows it because I laid my reasoning out clearly. The obnoxious part was when he was still pushing at it after I mentioned that it would make both me and his daughter felons.

        Like seriously FIL, did you not just hear what I said? I said that you’re about to make your daughter and your son-in-law into felons, and you’re worried about having to keep track of an extra piece of paper? Fuck off you self-serving gasbag.

      • dbleagle

        Plus Cali is NOT a state to get sketchy with on anything dealing with guns or ammo. If the proposed firearm was stolen and then recovered at a crime scene Cali will be going back to try and nail anybody who even looked at that gun.

        Good call Trashy. You are saving yourself and the daughter from a metric tonne of potential ass pain.

    • juris imprudent

      If they still had a TX address and the gun hadn’t left the state, I’d say you’d be fine. Once she moves into CA, if it is a handgun, she is legally obliged to register it with the state and then yes, you are unquestionably back to an interstate transfer.

    • Gender Traitor

      5 stupid things women should stop doing:

      1. Trying to change men into something they’re not

      Please feel free to suggest the other four. Or forty. Or…

      • slumbrew

        2-5, see #1.

      • Hyperion

        “1. Trying to change men into something they’re not”

        Hahahhahhahhaaa!!!! Oh, hahhahhahhahhaaaaa!!! Oh, make it stop! Bwahhhahhhahaha, OK, this is really starting to hurt!

      • Trigger Hippie

        Women gave up trying to change me when I reached my mid-thirties. Or maybe I did. Either way, there’s a certain freedom in no longer giving a shit.

      • straffinrun

        Only one person gets wet when the man cries before sex.

      • Tulip

        I laughed

    • slumbrew

      From the “men are just defective women” school of thought.

      Some of the comments give me hope: “And then we call them weak when they do so”. Yep, she gets it.

  15. Hyperion

    So, anyone know jus how woke the new CEO of Amazon is, now that Smeagol has stepped aside?

    Bets on whether or not he’s the most wokest wokester to ever woked?

    • Gustave Lytton

      Well, he’s the head of AWS that just pulled the plug on Parler. Do the math…

      • Hyperion

        I’d do it, but math is racist.

        One thing I don’t get. Does Smeagol now own all the storage space on all the interwebz? If not, what is wrong with Parler that they can’t get their site back up?

      • The Last American Hero

        They own half and Microsoft and Google own the other half.

      • Hyperion

        Which half is used by this site?

      • slumbrew

        None – Dreamhost, which is a small fish.

        As Gustave pointed out, it’s just “storage” – AWS (and the other clouds) offer a whole pile of services – dynamic virtual machines with autoscaling (i.e., you automatically spin machines up as demand spikes), message queues, database services, full-text searching services, bulk mail sending – the list goes on and on.

        People usually create their product with AWS or Google or Azure (Microsoft) specific services in mind; there are abstraction libraries, that theoretically let your stuff run on a wide variety of clouds w/o any changes, but most (?) places don’t use them and abstractions push you towards the least-common denominator.

        TL;DR – they basically have to build everything from scratch, on hardware they own in datacenter space they rent from someone. Which is I believe what Gab had to do.

        It makes me feel less bad about not being one of the cool kids who just runs everything in the cloud – the thousands of physical server we have can’t be turned off at the whim of someone else.

      • slumbrew

        it’s *not* just “storage”

      • UnCivilServant

        I am a proponant on of-prem hosting. At the very least, our data is in our own hands instead of an adversarial vendor.

        Some genius put our email in the cloud, found out that the contract was predatory when all the promotional extras started costing extra, and instead of moving back on-site, shifted to an even worse cloud provider that will just repeat the pattern.

      • UnCivilServant

        Some people just don’t realize that hosting providers are not your friend.

      • slumbrew

        We do a fair number of acquisitions and half the time it’s “you’re spending _how much_ on AWS?”

        It gets expensive, quickly. Once you’re above a certain size, roll your own makes sense.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Hosting is the leaseback of your own data.

      • slumbrew

        We’re still using datacenter providers (e.g., Coresite, Equinix) but we’re big enough that we’re building some fully owned datacenters.

        Not for the faint of heart or wallet.

      • rhywun

        Our DevOps is in “the cloud” but AFAIK our email and everything else is on-site.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I should say, cloud services hosting. Vanilla hosting in a data center isn’t so much.

      • slumbrew

        The fact the Parler founder said they “lost access to the source code” makes me think it was a clown-show – if he means that literally, it implies they weren’t using source control AT ALL; if they were using git (and who isn’t?), every dev would have a full copy of the source tree after every pull.

        It sounds so insane I have to think that statement was garbled in translation.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Apparently they used AWS specific stuff in their site. Their CEO said in a media interview they had a short window to download everything, weren’t able to get it all along with certain other data that they needed their site to be up and running to get.

    • Chipwooder

      Andrew Yang follows that nutcase? Too funny.

      • Hyperion

        Have you not heard that Yang now had his Coronavidtard badge of courage? Now he will surely become the new leader of what is left of the destruction of Gotham City.

      • rhywun

        The funny/sad part is that Andrew is the bestoption of those who currently stand some sort of chance.

        You really don’t want to know more about the rest of the clown car who are vying for the position. Each one is worse than the previous one.

      • slumbrew

        best</em option"

        I enjoy introducing people to the concept of "least worst".

      • slumbrew

        *shakes fist at broken tags*

      • rhywun

        It’s pretty sad when Giuliani and Bloomberg look like the adults in the room.

        Narrator: “There is no Giuliani or Bloomberg waiting in the wings this time.”

      • rhywun

        *barf*

      • slumbrew

        *Stupid sexy Yang*

      • Chafed

        Actually, I want to know all about them. First, so I can laugh. Second, so I’ll know what’s coming my way.

    • Hyperion

      Unfortunately, all falling on deaf ears while we slowly descend into madness and oblivion as a species. If too many were to actually pay attention, the Jacktard banners will spring into action and policy will be violated.

      • straffinrun

        The hate will stop before it gets to my group.

      • Hyperion

        Word, bro. Last I checked, 4 minutes ago, I was still one rung up the victimhood totem pole from those other guys.

  16. Chipwooder

    I got bifocals today. I believe that officially makes me middle aged.

    • Hyperion

      What the fuck is a bifocal? Is that what Benjamin Franklin used? Did you invent electricity and get wooden teeth also?

      Bifocal? No, I’m middle aged, you’re fucking 200 years old, bro!

      Geez, man, let me check the Almanac to see when to plant the rhubarb.

      • Mojeaux

        My bifocals hit me at age 11.

      • Hyperion

        Well, OK then, 4 eyes!

      • Trigger Hippie

        Oddly enough, I work with an old guy who wears trifocals.

      • Hyperion

        Spidey sense!

      • Fourscore

        I wear tri-focal, I couldn’t see the speedometer with bi-focal. I needed something for 2-6 feet, until the distance part kicked in. Since that time, about age 50, my glasses have been getting thicker and thicker, now look like coke bottle (old style) bottoms.

      • rhywun

        We call them “progressive lenses” now. Try to keep up.

      • Hyperion

        “progressive lenses”

        Also known as rose colored glasses, even socialism looks good when you wear them?

  17. Mojeaux

    XY made brownies last night. He didn’t like them. They were okay. Maybe needed a little salt and more vanilla.

    Tonight he made stroganoff. It was okay. But he burned the bottom and he didn’t use enough pepper. He didn’t like it.

    Hope the kid doesn’t get to the “How come it doesn’t taste like my mom’s?! Waaaaahhhhh!!!!” angst I suffer from.

    • Hyperion

      “brownies last night. He didn’t like them. They were okay. Maybe needed a little salt and more vanilla.”

      Listen at this cultural appropriation. Only a true white privileged one could make brownies with ‘vanilla’. Just right out blatant racism there, with no shame.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      he burned the bottom

      Isn’t that par for the course for stroganoff? I don’t know that I’ve ever made one that didn’t require sandblasting to clean the pan.

      • Mojeaux

        No, but you do have to pay attention.

      • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

        Or pay for a nonstick pan.

      • rhywun

        I slow cook mine and have never encountered this problem. ?‍♂️

      • Chafed

        White privilege.

    • Trigger Hippie

      Hmm…If we eventually meet up, I’m guessing you probably don’t want me to make you brownies.

      • slumbrew

        Of all the Glibs, I suspect Mojeaux would least welcome your brownies.

      • Mojeaux

        It’s the thought that counts.

    • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

      Yes, but did he use enough nutmeg?

      • Mojeaux

        Ummmmm …

      • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

        No nutmeg?
        /tries to suppress spastically twitching eyebrow, fails

    • rhywun

      Meh, I still fuck up cooking all the time. You just shrug and try to do better next time.

      • Mojeaux

        We told him it was good, which wasn’t a lie. But I like my mama’s cooking better than I like mine, and he likes mine better than he likes his.

        The kids have the run of the kitchen and my recipe book. My bet is his next try will be my spaghetti sauce.

    • straffinrun

      I don’t really love the stuff I cook because I know what’s missing when I taste it. The wife and daughter never complain, so it can’t be too bad.

  18. hayeksplosives

    This is the second day in a row I’ve worked over 10 hours at the office without even noticing it.

    That means I’m feeling busy and productive, and that makes me happy.

    Work is one thing that can absolutely drive my moods. I should probably get to where that’s not the case, but it was ever thus.

    With that, good night, friends!

    • straffinrun

      Glad the health is holding up. Over 50 and those long days aren’t as easy as they used to be for me.

    • rhywun

      I completely fried my brain today. I’m just worn out after nine hours or so. It does make the days pass really fast, though.

  19. KSuellington

    Looks like Colombia is considering decriminalizing cocaine. It is already legal there to possess personal amounts of any drug, it looks like this bill would allow legalized cultivation of the coca plant and some sort of government scheme to buy and distribute the finished product. Coca cultivation is already legal in Bolivia and it has had some good effects, namely that farmers aren’t getting quite as screwed as they were before. I spent a half a year in the Andes in the late 90’s and you could (legally) buy coca leaf to chew or brew into tea in Bolivia and Peru. When I was in Colombia there were gringos buying grams of unstepped on powder in the streets for 2 bucks. I’m pretty sure the retail prices were thirty or more times that in the States at the time. I realized after seeing that the War on Drugs was not going to succeed in doing anything other than enriching cartels and military contractors.

    https://colombiareports.com/colombia-to-kick-off-congressional-year-with-cocaine-decriminalization-bill/

    • Chafed

      doG bless them if they do.

      • KSuellington

        At this point it is far too late to take out the cartels, they are firmly entrenched and have the capital, distribution networks, personnel and knowledge to get up to other sorts of illegal, semi legal and legal businesses. There could be some good effects though in relation to environmental damage. As it is now there is always the incentive to push deeper in the forest hills to grow and the clandestine labs unleash some destruction on the environment with disposing of processing chemicals and waste. That would be likely much cleaned up if it was legalized.

    • Hyperion

      My God, so we’re invading Columbia this year?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Nice, Columbia’s about to go on my vacation itinerary then.

  20. Chafed

    This is how you make other people uncomfortable as you dominate the room.

    https://youtu.be/HSUyF4LIAiY

  21. Yusef drives a Kia

    Mornin’ Glib friends,

    • Sean

      Morning!

      • Gender Traitor

        Good morning, Glibboys!

      • Tundra

        Good morning!

    • l0b0t

      The shoes aren’t terribly impressive; I can take my sneakers on and off without hands as well. The fencer, Bebe Vio, however is simply amazing. https://youtu.be/fJtUQr7wK6I

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      WTF was that?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Homeless people, people protesting with no identification as to what they’re protesting, who the hell can tell anymore?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I subscribed to the Newsmax YouTube channel for a bit and quickly found them to be every bit as controlled opposition as Fox News (who also sucks and has for decades), what with them getting their panties all in a wad over over the Capitol Hill “Insurrection” and whatnot. Along with the calls for a police and military crackdown from various neocon douchebags and some red faced talking head in particular it was unfuckingwatchable. They had a meteoric rise after the leave Fox movement and went all Fox on their audience three weeks later. I’m convinced the news business in general is run by people who shouldn’t be in charge of the local McDonald’s.

      • Gender Traitor

        Yeah, I pretty much get my national news from here now.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Here’s good, Reason’s acceptable too, the various RealClear sites that are really just link aggregators, and ZeroHedge (you might want to avoid the comments there) for the weirder stuff and that’s about it.

  22. Tres Cool

    suh’ ya’all ?

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Homey. Pretty cold out there, I reckon? I’m afraid I’ll have rock-hard frost all over my windshield when I leave for work.

      • Tres Cool

        Yup. Scraping was futile for me, so I had to sit and wait for the defrost to do its thing.
        I think its something like 16º, so break out the fur-lined panties.

  23. Yusef drives a Kia

    Not much frost, still clear a d dry, til tomorrow….
    Howdy!

    • Tres Cool

      HEY YUFUS!

      Tall motherfkin CANS

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Not til 430, right now its Coffee!
        Cheers Matey!

  24. Ownbestenemy

    Greeting from OKC and this weird ass timdzone. Now i get to sit in class for 8 hours with a mask.

    • Tundra

      Yuck. Good luck.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Thanks. Our classes are usually laid back but I haven’t been here in 4 years and the FAA has really been doing what Biden proclaimed all feds to do since about June-ish time frame.

      • Festus

        So basically you all do the human centipede whilst wearing masks. How the fuck does that even work?

  25. Festus

    Mornin’ All… That previous post about women changing men triggered me something fierce. 1st Wife was a mature student going back for her degree in Sociology. Oh what fun struggle sessions we would have! I finally blew up and said that being together if we really cared about each other’s feelings shouldn’t seem like such a fucking chore. Alas, that was the writing on the wall. Enjoy your government job that I mostly financed. I wish you peace and prosperity and to never have to speak with you again.

    • Ownbestenemy

      My wofe helps me change into what I want to be, not her into what she wants. Or I at least tell myself that.

      • Festus

        My Judi is a kind and gentle Lady. It will be 25 years come April. She’s mostly talked me off the ledge. She still has her moments but enh, Chicks. What are you gonna do?

    • Festus

      We were very nearly a perfect fit but she was even more cynical and snarky than me. Funny as hell. That wave of Feminism that took hold in the 80’s killed our relationship dead.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I have one of those…but her problem wasnt feminism, we were just toxic the closer we got to each other. Outside of that it was two souls perfectly matched.

      • Festus

        Lots of it was me. I wasn’t always the stalwart Glibertarian that I’ve become in my later years. I’ve always had a nose for bullshit and hypocrisy, though.

      • Festus

        Also, sorry to hear that, Friend. Yep, there’s always that one…