GlibFit 4.0 – Coronavirus Edition XLVII: Mediocre Bowl Edition

by | Feb 7, 2021 | Fitness, GlibFit | 248 comments

Looks like I picked the wrong week to write a fitness post. I really should have traded places with Mexican Sharpshooter this week.  Sure a few of you are going to read this while sober. (Hi Mojeaux!)  But most of you are on to your umpteenth beer.  I’m expecting lots of booze talk, not fitness talk, today.  

Speaking of which, I had the pleasure of spending about two hours with MexicanSharpshooter, Swiss Servator, and Nephilium last weekend courtesy of SP’s invitation to her birthday party.  They know more about beer than I ever will.  MS has the delightful habit of saying he needs to leave while drinking beer after beer.  He maybe Mexican but he has mastered the French goodbye.  Swiss has the inhuman ability to seamlessly switch between beer and wine for hours on end without any ill effect.  Nephilium is way more than an experienced home brewer.  He is part beer historian, part chemist, and part beast.

Everyone is getting fair warning this is your last week off for a while.  We all have lots of reasons excuses between Thanksgiving and the Super Bowl to slack off, eat too much, and drink like fish.  That ends today, so drink up!

Summer isn’t too far away.  Start thinking about what shape you want to be in for bikini season.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I’m starting to get the sense the dam is breaking when it comes to Covid craziness.  One member of the LA City Council wants to sue LAUSD to reopen schools. San Francisco actually sued its own school district to reopen schools. Mrs. ET looks ready to put a cap in the ass of the Chicago Teachers Union.  M ’lord Cuomo (h/t Carol Markowicz) is “allowing” restaurants to partially reopen even though NYC Covid rates are way above where they were when he closed them.

When you see progressives fighting progressives, the jig is up.  I’m not claiming things will improve quickly, rationally, or calmly.  Probably in fits and starts, this ridiculous regime is falling apart.

I first heard this song in college. Tres Cool recently reminded me about it.  Seems appropriate.

About The Author

Chafed

Chafed

I'm looking California but feeling Minnesota

248 Comments

  1. IRBE

    Hi Chafed! Thanks for the reprieve and greetings from NOCal. Weather here is sublime (68 and sunny)…which in Feb means that weather in the Midwest and East is really cold. I feel for you guys back there…. 18 miles and 2500 feet of climb the past 2 days. Mask compliance at 95%. Terrified looks abound..maybe it is not lack of mask that is not so terrifying but goatee…it has reached caveman length. No intention of cutting until this national nightmare has ended or until I am required to do so…

    G-fit update: Sleep was good. Food was really good. Hike mileage up to 38 miles this week (reprioritize engaged) . Wim Hoff/meditative “ancient man” techniques, missed a couple of days. No weight gained or lost. Did some MIIT on hikes. Didn’t fast.

    Started doing a Horse Stance exercise. Which is basically, a fixed squat with slow punching while hyperventilating-breathing. It’s a killer burn, that really warms you up. I started it after a cold shower, because I was really struggling to get comfortably “warm” afterward. I am up to 90 seconds.

    Local news here: Crematoriums have started a second shift due to demand. I wonder how many they can do per shift…$800 per with a coupon.

    On the brite side: My dog turns 11 this week. This time last year I didn’t dare dream she would be alive much less able to hike. Her recovery was nothing short of a miracle. CBD, shrooms and cheap steroids. Other miracle..the mouse; he is still doing great. He has no fear and comes when called. He will fall asleep in your hand.

    Gotta run. I am smoking duck for dinner and need to get things going…

    De todos modos, ¡tenga una gran semana y sáltese una comida o tres!

    • hayeksplosives

      Local news here: Crematoriums have started a second shift due to demand.

      There are some really old retired Germans who might be able to provide practical tips.

      (Too soon, I know. For some things, it will always be too soon.)

      • Chafed

        Yes, still too soon.

      • hayeksplosives

        I was wracking my brain for any other “event” that’s similarly too soon in a permanent way.

        I’m concluding that’s it’s too soon because it’s too relevant.

        Too possible to believe an entire “advanced” nation would stand by and let terrible things happen to vast numbers of fellow countrymen.

      • Chafed

        Agreed.

    • westernsloper

      No intention of cutting until this national nightmare has ended or until I am required to do so…

      Me either. I look like a homeless person.

      • IRBE

        Yeah…it is looking pretty ragged. I am thinking of doing the whole Captain Lou Albano thing with the rubber-bands and such..that way I will be ready, in appearance, for my second career as circus barker.

      • Grosspatzer

        No haircuts for me, am reverting to my early ’70’s flowing locks. Bit on the silver side, and a growing bald spot, will audition for the part of Riff Raff if there is a remake of Rocky Horror. My theme song.

      • westernsloper

        Another version.

      • Grosspatzer

        Nice!

      • KromulentKristen

        STEVE SMITH

    • Chafed

      Hi IRBE. My dog is also 11. You may have answered this once before so I apologize if I have forgotten. What mushrooms do you use for your dog and where do you get them?

      • IRBE

        It’s called Super Snouts Turkey Tail. I read it was good for liver health. It’s a powder that smells and tastes terrible. There was no hiding it in food without dog sussing it out. So I put them into capsules. Best of luck.

      • Chafed

        Thanks IRBE.

  2. Steve

    Haven’t started drinking yet and I’ll probably take it slow for the game (GO CHIEFS!). I find that I’ve got too much stuff to do and slow mornings throw me off.

    Lower back has rehabbed enough to get back into calisthenics! First workout since before Thanksgiving happened yesterday: EMOM 1pull-up, 2 toes-to-bar leg lift; 5 air squats; 5 push-ups. I made it 20 rounds and capped it off with a three mile run at the park. Muscles blissfully hurt all over and I’m grateful to be able to move freely again.

    Live well, Glibs. Sober sleep > drunken sleep.

  3. hayeksplosives

    Howdy, Chafed!

    You can count me in the Permanently Sober column too.

    Still might head out for human interaction today, mainly to support the only neighborhood restaurant.

    Trying to decide between my labeled masks: “Placebo” and “Does this look like Freedom to you?” are the front runners.

    (Have to keep a mask handy since the fire department is across the street and could come over to be dicks.)

    • Chafed

      I had forgotten about your sobriety. I would go with the “Placebo” mask.

    • Gender Traitor

      Fun variation on the latter mask would have been “Does this mask make me look free?” Especially for a Glibbroad to wear.

      • hayeksplosives

        Lol. I like it.

    • Grosspatzer

      Good on ya with the sobriety. Hardest part for me was losing the ability to blame my stupidity on booze. Turns out I don’t need to be drunk to be an asshole, but I’ve learned to live with that.

      • hayeksplosives

        Quitting was surprisingly easy. My neurologist said to knock it off, and my liver concurred.

        So that was that.

      • blackjack

        I quit for thirty years once. It was more of a behavior thing for me and it worked. Now, I’m a teetotaler for the most part. Bonus? My liver is like that of a twenty year old.

      • Fourscore

        I’ve been away for 35 years or so. Found out my kids weren’t so bad after all, though I’m still open for any improvements. Have no reason to partake but looking at the prices it’s almost mandatory to drink cause the prices are so much better now. Much bigger variety but mornings are a lot friendlier and I can remember who I offended .

      • KromulentKristen

        and I can remember who I offended hit on

        This is me (I only drink 1-2 times a week, though. In the Before Times I drank every few months)

  4. westernsloper

    But most of you are on to your umpteenth beer.

    Wrong. I am on my third White Claw but I am lazy and it is too early for tequila. I am going to have to switch to beer soon.

    I actually got off my ass and did some sporty things this last week. Several bike rides where I almost stroked out, and a snow boarding venture where I abused myself into some decent pain. Almost stroked out on that too, but whatever. I forgot I feel better when I get my heart rate above sloth range so it was all good. I plan on keeping that up because……….it helped my mental state.

    • Brochettaward

      I am on my third White Claw

      You are the ugliest bearded lady I’ve ever encountered.

      • westernsloper

        ?

    • hayeksplosives

      White claw? Might as well go full appletini at this point.

      • westernsloper

        I don’t know what that is.

      • Nephilium

        A terrible drink that started a terrible trend in sweet sugary drinks being called Martinis. General recipe is 3 part vodka, 3 part apple liqueur (usually out of a plastic bottle and bright green in color), and 1 part sweet and sour mix (don’t pretend you’ll be making it yourself for this abomination of a drink).

        I have opinions on them…

      • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

        I have a sweet tooth, but even *I* think that sounds like sugar overkill.

  5. DEG

    I’m doing a shitty job of keeping up with the threads today.

    I’m starting to get the sense the dam is breaking when it comes to Covid craziness.

    Yeah. There are rumors now in NH via legislators that Sununu will end his emergency orders in late March. The business restrictions and extended mask mandate expire on March 26th. That’s the date I’ve been hearing.

    I broke the diet this weekend. The Porcupine Day afterparty (I was even a bit hung over this morning) and today I had some boozy coffee. Right now I’m drinking a KBS.

    I planned to go to the gym yesterday before Porcupine Day, but I slept most of the day away. I had to get some stuff done before Porcupine Day. When I finally woke up today, the snow had started. I will go tomorrow.

    Improvement at the gym has been a mixed bag. The trainer and I are still working on some mobility and flexibility problems that are holding me back on some lifts. Weights used for sled pushing and pulling are going up. Weight and bodyfat percentage are down. I think last week was a fluke. 276.2 lbs at 27.4% bodyfat.

  6. westernsloper

    Nephilium is way more than an experienced home brewer. He is part beer historian, part chemist, and part beast.

    That is a long winded way of saying NERD.

    • Nephilium

      Fine… see if I bring you any of my homebrew if I ever make my way out there.

      • Chafed

        You screwed up Westernsloper. I have no idea how Nephilium packed as much beer as he did but they kept on coming. His homebrews are exceptional.

      • Nephilium

        I used these, and they worked a treat. I was half expecting to need to pump them back up before the flight (or after), but they stayed inflated. I bomber/750 bottle/2 cans fit per sleeve.

        I used the same ones I brought with me to bring back some of the nice things Swissy brought down for me.

      • westernsloper

        Ya, that didn’t work out how I would have liked it too. Maybe next year. I can only vacation during the winter and I was really looking forward to some AZ warm.

      • DEG

        ‘Sloper’s loss is my gain.

        Send the homebrew to me.

      • Nephilium

        Girlfriend and I are looking at what we want to do for a summer trip. Depending on what’s open, New England may be in the cards. Driving means I can pack a lot more then when flying.

      • DEG

        Let me know what you plan.

        I will be at FreedomFest in South Dakota in July and Honey Harvest in September. My plan is both will be road trips. A stop in Cleveland is easy enough.

      • Nephilium

        Honey Harvest is out this year, as it’s too close to the shifted Viva Las Vegas (usually held in Spring) this year.

        When is FreedomFest in South Dakota? I generally plan a trip around the 4th to take advantage of the Holiday.

      • westernsloper

        You don’t have to be like that now. I will still drink your beer.

    • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

      NERDs rule.

      • hayeksplosives

        Blessed are the geeks, for they shall inherit the Earth.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Elon smiles upon you…

  7. dbleagle

    Fimbulwinter must be here. I did my usual hill hike/run* and got in the pool afterwards. The water was a frigid 72 Go-to-the-Moon Degrees! What madness is this? Was the selection of Pudding Cup Joe the first sign that Ragnarok approaches?

    *The hill is part of a ridge on a peninsula. As you go along the ridge you have the ocean on both sides with nice views across to Molokai.

    I will watch the SB with some friends. I will say I hope for an entertaining game, what I am really hoping for is for Brady to be humiliated. His conduct when he got caught cheating was appalling. He has more money than most and he set up a team peon to take the fall and lose his job. That is a flat out AOC move.

    • westernsloper

      As you go along the ridge you have the ocean on both sides with nice views across to Molokai.

      Sounds horrible. And ya, fuck Brady.

    • hayeksplosives

      72 Go-to-the-Moon Degrees!

      Style points awarded to doubleagle

  8. Nephilium

    Only beers so far was the sample poured free while I was picking up supplies for later, and a delightful coffee kolsch I brought back from Arizona (the girlfriend is at work, and will be driving to the party).

    Weight is back down to what it was before going down to AZ (should hit goal one by next week), resting heart rate is back down to a new low, and today is the last cheat day until either another out of town trip or I hit a goal weight (at which point I’ll take one day to cheat, and then set a new goal). One strange trend that I see is that even with strict calorie counting every day, Sundays I weight more then I do on Saturday. Weigh ins are at approximately the same time, and it’s usually a .75-1.5 pound swing. There’s a reason the trend line is the thing to watch, and not the day to day weight.

    • Chafed

      I suggest skipping Sunday weigh ins.

      • Nephilium

        Nah. It’s more data, and it provides information. It’s just strange to me.

      • IRBE

        I agree with Chafed about Sunday weigh-ins…but best guess is something to do with biorhythms, the moon, the stars and retention of water due for whatever reasons.

      • Nephilium

        I’m used to it at this point, it made sense when I wasn’t counting on Saturdays (in the pre-lockdown days I went to a morning spin class on Saturdays). Now it just seems like my body built out a habit.

  9. Brochettaward

    I was going to try MrBeast Burger today, but the location near me is closed. Yet they’re sending alerts to my phone asking me to order for Super Bowl Sunday.

    Someone else suggested we get BurgerFi. That’s the hipster chain. I just want a decent smash burger chain place.

    • Mojeaux

      Please write that smashburger article.I am intrigued.

  10. juris imprudent

    We did shovel work on the snow that fell – definitely topped by rain, like pushing around a huge slushy. Relaxed while watching Tigres make the final of the club world cup (beat the SA champs Palmieras), knocking back chips with guac. Ready to fire up the smoker for some wings (I’ll finish those in the air fryer) and enjoy the rest of the afternoon without drinking anything alcoholic.

    Go Chiefs. [Although Florida Man celebrating a SuperBowl win merits consideration.]

    • Ownbestenemy

      After you shovelled the snow did your neighbor write an article on how nice you were that you must be a racist?

  11. Spudalicious

    I had my physical this week. The doctor was pretty giddy with my lab results, given how they were last year. I’m working out occasionally and walking 5-6 miles a week.

    • Chafed

      Good job Spud!

    • Gender Traitor

      Had my physical, too. My total cholesterol was up, but only component of that outside of standard range was LDL. What’s the best dietary change (add or subtract) to help that? I really don’t want to go on any drug that has its own TV commercials.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        Oily fish like salmon and char.

        Eat the fuck out of it, grilled.

      • Gender Traitor

        Thanks. Is tilapia any good for that? We already have that in the rotation.

      • KromulentKristen

        IIRC tilapia isn’t fatty

      • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

        Ah, tilapia: the tofu of the seas.  ?? ?

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        No, but trout would work if fresh water fish is what you’re after.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    There are some really old retired Germans who might be able to provide practical tips.

    Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred ninety six in the ashtray.

    • Chafed

      Not funny in 1945 and still not funny today.

  13. db

    Super Bowl? DGAF.

    Drinking? Strangely enough, not planning on it today.

    Fitness? I’ll see what I can do, but I’m not usually a good fit.

    • DEG

      ARGH!

      Face diapers!

    • Chafed

      Those ladies get it. Except the ones with too many tattoos.

      Are you a father yet?

      • Q Continuum

        Any day now…

    • Ownbestenemy

      I need to have a word with #16

    • limey

      99/100 is an SVR honey trap targeting Ukrainian businessmen.

  14. Fourscore

    Cold weather hit and too hard to warm the garage up to exercise. But 4 days this week @ 4MPH for 1 hour and then pump a little iron. I’m taking off a few days, my daughter is visiting and super cold anyway.

    A few aches and pains that won’t go away, see a real dr next week.

    Spud, I have 10 little apple trees started in my east window, started from seeds, Honey Crisp. Biggest is about 12 ” high. At least it’s something green.

    • Suthenboy

      I wish I could grow apples here. I have tried many times and they never make it past a year or two. The ground is too warm and the funguses in the soil are too hostile to northern species.
      Zone 9: too warm for northern species and too cold for tropical species. Ugh. These days I stick to native plants. Fortunately my paw-paws seem to be doing ok.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        I’ve had the same luck with apples, but pears grow extremely well here.

      • Fourscore

        I had nice pears in TX but here it’s a little too chilly and short seasoned for peaches/pears/plums.

  15. Annoyed Nomad

    Mrs Nomad and I did a 9-mile hike at Myakka State Park this week. We intended to do a 4.2 mile loop, but misread the map. Oh well, we survived.

    • l0b0t

      I love that park. I had my 12th birthday party there.

    • IRBE

      I have been there before…lost. Almost every time when lost, there is always something interesting that happens. What is weird, is that I am a control freak but when I am lost in the wilderness..after the original panic/despair I am really happy just to be out and about.

      • Annoyed Nomad

        The trails are not very well marked. That would be my main criticism.

      • Suthenboy

        Lost….I never understood that.

      • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

        Lost?!? I’ve never been lost . . . fearsome confused for a month or two, but I’ve never been lost!”

        Henry Frapp – The Mountain Men

      • IRBE

        Sorry..I gendered the situation. Typically, my wife reminds me we are “lost” when in fact the true genius of my orienteering has not been understood nor appreciated.

      • Suthenboy

        Set me down anywhere and ask me where is north. I will point. north immediately. If you get confused simply walk downhill until you come to water then follow the water. Soon you will find people.

      • juris imprudent

        Some people foolishly believe that the shortest path is the objective while you clearly understand that the journey and it’s many unexpected turns, even seeing the same view more than once, is the reason you are out there.

  16. DEG

    OT: Push back against Sununu

    After taking unprecedented steps to cope with the pandemic, Gov. Chris Sununu now faces a multi-front campaign to check or weaken the governor’s power to deal with future emergencies.

    Much of that pushback is coming from Sununu’s own party.

    Fourteen bills in the 2021 legislative pipeline would alter the emergency powers of the governor or his chief subordinates, such as the commissioner of health and human services.

    All of them have Republican sponsors, which could portend better for their passage now that the GOP has control of both houses of the Legislature.

    Eleven of the bills’ 14 authors of these bills have resisted wearing masks at some point.

    The article author talks to someone from the Maine Policy Project. I think the Maine Policy Project’s guy’s analysis is bull. NH’s emergency powers law is quite a broad grant of power to the governor as written. In addition, the courts have decided the law allows the governor to suspend the Constitution.

    • Ownbestenemy

      I am so jealous that your legislative is at least trying to pry back power. Mine is happy as a clam with their new master.

    • Ownbestenemy

      I spoke too soon. Looks like NV Legislature is also pushing back…

      https://www.8newsnow.com/news/local-news/nevada-republicans-look-to-limit-governors-emergency-powers/

      How this wasn’t written into the emergency powers law anyway is a failure…

      “A bill written by Assemblyman Jim Wheeler would end an emergency declaration or state of emergency after 15 days unless the Legislature votes to continue it.”

      The NV Legislature has the power already but gleefully have washed their hands over the past year.

      • DEG

        Our problem in NH is the Governor controls the Senate.

        The Sununu clan owns the Republican party leadership. The party is involved in State Senate races, unlike State House races. Word from legislators I know is that Sununu threatened to have the party withhold support and/or work against any Senator that supports legislation or resolutions that reigns in the Governor.

        Good the NV legislature is doing something.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m not seeing anything that prevents immediately declaring a new “emergency” when the old one expires.

      • juris imprudent

        You know that kind of control really risks inviting extreme measures to break it.

      • Suthenboy

        The kind of people attracted by concentrated power cant see that. They are megalomaniacs and cant imagine or see this coming:

    • Muzzled Woodchipper

      Same here in KY.

      We have a set of proposed laws to prune Governor Useless’ (D) nutsack. I’m hopeful those will pass being as Rs have supermajority in both chambers, and our state economy, already poor to begin with, has been destroyed.

      There’s also an impeachment committee formed from a petition to get rid of the fucker, though I suspect that their spines will shrivel when push comes to shove.

  17. DEG

    OT: More pushback against Sununu plus NH politics

    DEMOCRATIC CRITICS hammered Gov. Chris Sununu last fall for giving “flexibility” to school district administrators and school boards to decide how they would conduct public schools in the face of risks from COVID-19.

    Sununu said the move was in keeping with New Hampshire’s tradition of local control.

    Now that the Biden administration’s Centers for Disease Control has advised that it’s safe to bring kids back into schools even before all teachers are vaccinated, Sununu appeared to warn that posture could change.

    Reuters and other news outlets reported the CDC found schools did not “meaningfully” increase community spread of the virus.

    As we’ve reported, Sununu has been in high dudgeon for weeks over the state teachers union leadership’s insistence that he move teachers up in the vaccine queue.

    “It’s an important issue for families. It’s not political at all,” Sununu said. “Some kids haven’t been in a classroom for almost a year. Think about that.”

    Educators are set to receive vaccines in Phase 2A, which is expected to start sometime in late March or April.

  18. DEG

    OT: Judge in Ace Speedway (located in NC) case allows case against the state to proceed

    A visiting superior court judge has agreed to let the owners of ACE Speedway take legal action against the state for the venue’s forcible closure last year due to fears that it could be a breeding ground for coronavirus infections.

    Superior Court Judge John Dunlow issued an order on January 12 that allows the speedway’s owners to proceed with two of the five counterclaims that they originally filed last spring when the N.C. Department of Health and Human Services took them to court following a series of well-attended events at the Altamahaw race track.

  19. Mojeaux

    Hi, Chafed!

    (sober as a judge)

    • DEG

      I’m my third drink. Boozy coffee, KBS, and now my last bottle of Marvelroast.

      I think this will be the last drink of the day though. I don’t want to go too nuts with ignoring my diet.

    • Tres Cool

      I’m sure if I took the time to research it, there’s plenty of articles out there about drunken judges. Not always the best analogy.

      • Mojeaux

        I was waiting for that. Didn’t make any bets about who’d knock that one out of the park.

  20. Suthenboy

    There are a few problems with the constitution but the No.1 is that it has no teeth. There are no punishments for officials that blatantly violate the supreme law of the land, making it not so supreme.

    • Ownbestenemy

      There is but the people choose not to exercise it come election time.

    • IRBE

      Agreed! But there was no thought of a professional full time “statemen”..just some guys volunteering their time, like scout troop leaders.

    • juris imprudent

      No law matters at all if the people don’t give a shit, and far too many people in this country do not. That’s not even talking the ones that actively want to destroy, just the ambivalent ones that think it doesn’t matter.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    NH’s emergency powers law is quite a broad grant of power to the governor as written. In addition, the courts have decided the law allows the governor to suspend the Constitution.

    How the hell does a year-long executive power grab qualify as an exercise of “emergency” powers?

    • Ownbestenemy

      FYTW…and my fellow govs are doing the same?

    • Suthenboy

      ‘Power grab’. See, it’s right there in the name.

    • creech

      Ask the PA Supremes. The 5-2 Dem majority has decided Gauleiter Wolf may do whatever the hell he wants.

    • DEG

      Heh.

      NH’s emergency powers law allows the governor to renew the state of emergency every 21 days as long as he thinks the emergency is continuing. That’s explicitly stated in the law. There’s no need for the court to reach here.

      The legislature may, by concurrent resolution which does not have to be signed by the governor, end the state of emergency at any time. There is a prohibition on the governor issuing a new emergency declaration for the same reason if the legislature ends the state of emergency.

      The legislature may also, by majority vote, declare a state of emergency.

    • juris imprudent

      Was the State’s reichstag burned down? Those emergency powers lasted about 12 years.

  22. Ted S.

    No long walks with the dog the past two weeks, because there’s been several inches of snow on the ground.

    I’ve also been doing a ton of overtime. At least I got a 2% raise at the beginning of the year.

    • Ted S.

      Oh, and no beer because I don’t drink carbonated beverages.

  23. Mojeaux

    Just opened up a file I am formatting and found out half the tedious BS I had to do on it yesterday has to be redone because Word is an asshole. I was so proud of my progress yesterday, and now I have to redo about an hour of work. It’s due tomorrow, but I am not in the mood to do it today.

    Exhausting Client #1 wants to trash the book cover we worked on for a week and do something different.

    Exhausting Client #2 is happy with the work I did and signed off on it.

    XX’s first week at Cerner as an intern went swimmingly. She is in their IT department on help desk. She is intrigued by the department’s workbench where they work on the hardware.

    XY is out soliciting snow removal business. I have no idea how he’s doing. I told him to be home before dark. It’s effing cold outside, but he has a heated jacket and gloves.

    GO CHIEFS.

    • DEG

      Congratulations to XX.

      Hopefuly XY’s business takes off, and straightens up.

      • Mojeaux

        Thanks.

        Things with XY seem to be getting better. One thing is that keeping him off social media has been incalculably valuable. It is poison. I’ve seen him bringing books home from school for pleasure reading.

      • DEG

        Good!

      • Chafed

        That’s very encouraging.

  24. rhywun

    But most of you are on to your umpteenth beer.

    Joke’s on you – I haven’t even started yet.

    • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

      First beer: Delirium Tremens in a Grimbergen glass.

      I’m sure there’s a special level of Hell reserved for people like me who would mix beers and glasses like that . . .

  25. Tres Cool

    |Tres Cool recently reminded me about it. Seems appropriate.

    I come in handy around 15% of the time. The other 90% Im a pain in the ass. The remainder means Im bad with fractions.

    Here’s a cover of that song, with a cameo by Jake himself.

  26. hayeksplosives

    My company has been holding on tight during Covid, just trying to get through 2020.

    Now that it’s clear that normal is a long way off, there is a rumbling of layoffs.

    Even my boss was asking me Friday to explain some overhead charges. He never has scrutinized time cards to that weedy level.

    • Ted S.

      Yeah, I survived layoffs last year. They laid off too many people, which is why we have obscene amounts of overtime now.

      • hayeksplosives

        “This is going so well with fewer salaries to pay, we should keep going this way forever! Call it the New Normal or something.”

  27. The Late P Brooks

    XX’s first week at Cerner as an intern went swimmingly. She is in their IT department on help desk. She is intrigued by the department’s workbench where they work on the hardware.

    Nice. Go, XX!

    Maybe she can “apprentice” herself to one of the hardware fixer-uppers.

    • Mojeaux

      Thanks! Yes, she said she was going to try to slide her way into that.

  28. Yusef drives a Kia

    Who’s playing? Woke up at 3, drank til 10am, woke at 1, did laundry, drinking again, blergel))llll
    Chiefs!

    • Lachowsky

      I went to bed last night around midnight. Phone rang at two Nd I had to go to work. Saw blown up w finished fixing around 3 o’clock.

      I have a busch light and a serious case of the drag ass.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    I come in handy around 15% of the time. The other 90% Im a pain in the ass.

    If you have a 50% chance of being right, that means you have a 75% chance of being wrong.

    • Tres Cool

      When I was in the Army, we called it the “50-50-90” rule.

      If you have a 50/50 chance of making the right decision, 90% of the time you’re wrong.

  30. westernsloper

    Ok haters, I moved on to this.

    It’s not horrible but probably won’t buy again.

    • Tres Cool

      My brain immediately processed that as ‘areola’

    • DEG

      Wow

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Pretty

      • Suthenboy

        Nice.

        One year when I was a kid there were auroras that were visible here in Louisiana and I dont mean a little bit. They were huge and beautiful. That was….late ’60s? Early ’70s?
        It really was stunning. I dont know what caused them to be visible this far south.

      • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

        I don’t know what caused them to be visible this far south.

        A freakin’ enormous CME is my guess.

        Back in the 90s, I remember seeing northern lights in Edmonton (yes, in Edmonton, they were so bright they could be seen through all the light pollution of the inner-city neighbourhood we were living in at the time). Unlike the “traditional” green, these lights were bright reddish-orange.

        Spectacular!

      • Suthenboy

        It has been so long I cant really remember but I know they were multi-colored. Green and….red? Purple?
        We laid on blankets outside and watched them most of the night.

      • DEG

        I like it.

  31. Suthenboy

    Gah! What’s with the disgusting earwax removal ads everywhere? Is there a plague of earwax, or people just cant perform proper hygiene in 2021?
    I dont want to see gobs of goo out of people’s ears. Come to think of it the toilet paper ads and laxative ads have gone a bit over the top too. I think one of the laxative ads has a cartoon illustration of someone’s intestinal tract with turds going through it. Why would I want to see that and why would anyone run that ad right at super time? What the hell is wrong with people today?

    • Suthenboy

      Supper, not super.

    • Gender Traitor

      Still not as bad as the Navage “saline nasal irrigation” commercials.

      I will not link to any. You’re welcome.

      • Suthenboy

        Yeah, now that you mention it. I really don’t need to know or see details about other people’s bodily functions.

      • Tres Cool

        Yo, Im streaming a C̶l̶e̶a̶r̶C̶h̶a̶n̶n̶e̶l̶ ̶(̶b̶e̶f̶o̶r̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶y̶ ̶g̶o̶t̶ ̶s̶u̶e̶d̶)̶ iheartmedia station, and that guy bought in big to their advertising dept. Every break Im told my nose need a shop-vac.

    • UnCivilServant

      I am glad I’ve distanced myself from adverts.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        Yes!

        I add in far fewer places than earlier life.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        It sure would be nice if I could write in English.

    • pistoffnick

      1-800-POOP-FIX

  32. The Late P Brooks

    Blah blah blah electric cars make total sense because European governments bribe people to buy them and anyhow Trump suxx

    The American public has never seemed to absorb how completely the car industry—and how much GM, specifically—fumbled under Trump.

    In 2016, the industry celebrated Trump’s win: Finally, here was a pro-business president that it could really work with! What it got instead was a parade of expensive inconveniences. The Obama administration had, for instance, put in rules meant to decrease the carbon pollution that cars emit from their tailpipes; automakers wanted those rules weakened; the Trump administration froze them entirely—a drastic change that had more costs than benefits. Trump harangued GM on Twitter without warning, and threatened to impose new tariffs on its supply chains. And the White House declined last year to extend the federal tax credit for EVs, a move that harmed Tesla and GM specifically while helping foreign automakers.

    Federal support for these kinds of policies matters. EVs command 54 percent of the market share in Norway not because Norwegians love Tesla, but because Norway has thrown a small fjord’s worth of incentives and mandates behind them. It is safe to say that, had Trump won 81,000 more votes across four states, we would not be talking about this ad at all.

    We’re saved. That good ol’ boy Joe Biden is President, and he will open the floodgates of “clean tech” subsidies and we’ll bribe our way to clean air and sparkling clear water.

    GM has seen the Light, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t hold a gun to their head and force them to stop making vehicles powered by internal combustion engines.

    • Suthenboy

      Electric cars: Fun toys for some but overall the dumbest idea since the square wheel.

      • Tres Cool

        You still plug them in to stuff that burns coal, to make steam, to generate electricity, to charge your car.
        Well, for now at least.

      • rhywun

        What are you talking about? Electricity comes out of the wall.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I’m all about hybrids as a way of improving fuel economy. I get 45 mpg in mine, and the only real sacrifice is a bit of acceleration. Pure electric isn’t appealing in the slightest.

    • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

      Market share, incentives and mandates: three terms that no educated commentator would put together in the way the rhesus monkey who wrote this story just did.

      The Atlantic is worthless shite.

      • limey

        That is an insult to rhesus macaques.

        *flings poop at The Atlantic article*

    • Ownbestenemy

      I cant wait til we are mandated to have only electric vehicles and we are stranded on mountain tops trying to fix equipment.

  33. Count Potato

    Is Gronkowski actually retarded or is that just CTE?

    • slumbrew

      He’s retarded like a fox – plays up the meathead dude bro thing, but quietly makes good decisions of the field: has never spent a paycheck (just endorsement money), his “posse” is his brothers plus a childhood friend who is sober and always drivers the party van Gronk bought, etc.

  34. Mojeaux

    The “Raymond-James” stadium looks like a rinky-dink college stadium.

    • rhywun

      I noticed that.

      Is the game on yet? The pre-game is insufferable.

      • Mojeaux

        T-10 minutes…

      • rhywun

        Heroes! ?????

        /flips channel again

  35. KromulentKristen

    LOL the vague & meaningless Scientology ads have already started on the pregame show.

    • Gender Traitor

      Seriously? Glad I’m not watching. Those would put me in a foul mood.

      • KromulentKristen

        They buy ads every year in major local markets (way cheaper than national ads). The sole purpose of these ads is to show their shrinking congregations that they’re actually doing something with the money that’s suckered out of them. They will usually “premiere” the ads at their local facilities like a movie. It’s sad & hilarious.

  36. The Late P Brooks

    Electric cars: Fun toys for some but overall the dumbest idea since the square wheel.

    I’m perfectly willing to admit they make sense for some people, in some situations. But let them compete without subsidies from the government.

    There were a bunch of electric car manufacturers in the early days of the horseless carriage. They were all put out of business by the internal combustion engine. Technology has come a long way, but pretending electric cars will drive the internal combustion engine out of the market (without a massive government thumb on the scale) is just stupid.

    Gasoline is still a better store of energy.

    • juris imprudent

      a massive government thumb

      That isn’t a thumb.

      • rhywun

        Hey, sailor!

    • blackjack

      Gasoline is the single best way to power a vehicle. The upsides are immense. Electric is really only useful for people who drive indoors and people who desperately fear a whopping 2 degrees of ” climate” whatever the fuck that entails. Funny, considering electric won’t really do anything to stop the climate anyway.

    • Suthenboy

      A co-worker of mine bought one against my advice. After about 3 months he went back to his RAM 2500 because it was a fraction of the price to drive.

      “Look, I am not going to say you were right because…you know…but you were right.”

      Physics 101.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Hybrids are a decent idea, pure electrics are mostly a bad idea in the spread out US with the current battery tech. I’m not necessarily opposed to them if the tech and the infrastructure improves to the point it can complete with gas though.

  37. KromulentKristen

    Heading out to Pooper Bowl Loser Party. See y’all.

    • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

      Enjoy!

    • hayeksplosives

      Have fun!

      I’m going to keep a tally of commercials that show Cootie masks vs those that don’t.

  38. The Late P Brooks

    No law matters at all if the people don’t give a shit, and far too many people in this country do not. That’s not even talking the ones that actively want to destroy, just the ambivalent ones that think it doesn’t matter.

    True. The vast majority of people are too busy living their lives to worry about politics, but eventually they realize, as the saying goes, “Politics is interested in you.”

    Pushback is inevitable. There are a lot of very unhappy people in places like Portland and Milwaukee, I think. However much some people want to handwave it away, the Democrats LOST seats in the House. As for the Senate… the circumstances were atypical. 2022 will be interesting, especially if Comrade Biden continues his Despot-in-Chief campaign.

    • blackjack

      Yeah, you could cheat like the dickens in an election and, as long as no one cares it’s all good. Prolly cheat twice as hard next time, since it was so easy. I live in California, btw.

      • hayeksplosives

        As Mark Steyn says, if the people believe that there is no means for them to affect their own fates through voting and elected representatives, they will turn to other means.

      • blackjack

        Like casually strolling through the capitol, taking selfies and making small talk with the cops?

      • hayeksplosives

        INSURRECTION!! TREASON!

        Just like Newsom calling the perfectly legal process of petitioning for a recall election “an attempted coup.”

        No dude; if we’d attempted a coup, your employment would have ended months ago.

        I ain’t saying how, just saying.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        Governor Useless (D – KY) did the same thing.

        His very first public comment was how those who raised the petition are terrorists JUST LIKE THOSE IN THE INSURRRRRECTION!

        Because I totally remember that time bin Laden wrote a letter to the legislature in accordance with state law.

    • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

      2022 will be interesting, especially if Comrade Biden continues his Despot-in-Chief campaign.

      And since he seems to believe that he’s a one-termer anyways and therefore can do whatever he wants, his campaign behaviour appears to be “locked in” until 2022. Which raises the question: will you folks survive that kind of recklessness until 2022?

  39. The Late P Brooks

    Funny, considering electric won’t really do anything to stop the climate anyway.

    Electricity comes from the wall. You can’t see those smokestacks in Arizona from Los Angeles.

    SCIENCE!

    • blackjack

      They used to just use ovens. Too soon?

      • hayeksplosives

        See the early comments on this post.

        Too soon.

  40. westernsloper

    Moved on to this.

    Not bad with some chips and guac. (pan fried chips) And this pre game show is about to get me to throw my tv down in the gulch.

    • hayeksplosives

      Oooh that gives me an idea.

      I think I have some potatoes, and I definitely have an air fryer. Just a little olive oil and a spice mix, and I’ll have low sodium fires!

    • rhywun

      Wait, even Teen Vogue are complaining about woke nonsense now?!

      inorite??

  41. The Hyperbole

    Go Chiefs. try not to cheat so much this game.

  42. The Late P Brooks

    Will Foochy sing the National Anthem? Perform the ceremonial coin toss?

    • Count Potato

      Pole dance at halftime?

      • hayeksplosives

        Blortch.

  43. hayeksplosives

    I got all dressed up in my Black Watch patterned long skirt and matching shawl (held in place with a torque) so now it’s up to the mister to decide if he wants to be out and about at the Stoopid Bowl party.

    I think staying at home is probably smarter, but I don’t want to curb his enthusiasm for getting out of bed.

  44. The Late P Brooks

    And this pre game show is about to get me to throw my tv down in the gulch.

    And that’s why I’m listening to “Psychobilly Radio” on Pandora right now; currently the Hillbilly Hellcats. I’ll turn the teevee on at 4:28 or so. With the sound off.

  45. The Late P Brooks

    will you folks survive that kind of recklessness until 2022?

    it remains to be seen.

    • Suthenboy

      I have said many times that governments are just reflections of the cultures they govern.

      The question is if we can survive ourselves.

  46. grrizzly

    I’m crazy, drove more than 3 hours in a snow storm. For an hour or so I was scared to up shift to the fourth gear (out of 6) on a highway.

    • Suthenboy

      Yikes.

      My wife complained that I dont trust her to drive.

      “No, that is not it at all. I trust you, it’s them *points to outside world* that I dont trust.”

    • DEG

      Once I drove back to New England from PA in a snow storm. Snow until I got into Connecticut. It was a seven, seven and a half hour drive.

      • Lachowsky

        Christmas day 2012 we had a hell of a snow storm (for arkansas) I had to work that night. My normal 40 minute drive took me 2 and half hours.

      • Suthenboy

        Worst I have done was 6 hours from Alexandria to Shreveport in a snow/ice storm. It was rather harrowing. I kept having to stop and de-ice the wipers and windshield.

  47. Ownbestenemy

    Hotdogs stuffed with mushrooms and cheese wrapped in bacon in the oven. Go Raiders? Who is even playing?

    • hayeksplosives

      The Democrats, as far as I can tell.

  48. Mojeaux

    Okay, whatever, but Amanda Gorman’s adorable.

  49. hayeksplosives

    I watched the pregame, including America the Beautiful, the Anthem, and this Youth Poet Laureate (sounds tax payer funded to me).

    I deeply regret it.

    Why did I do this to myself?

    • westernsloper

      But, but, the vaccinated health care heroes!!!!!

    • hayeksplosives

      Woo-hoo!

      Tony Romo commentary makes it worth it.

    • rhywun

      I kept watching the Hoardersmarathon. I might go back during the frequent breaks.

  50. The Late P Brooks
  51. The Late P Brooks

    I deeply regret it.

    Where’s Nelson Muntz when you need him?

  52. The Late P Brooks

    drove more than 3 hours in a snow storm.

    Been there, many times. It gets less funner as the years pass.

  53. Ownbestenemy

    Oh man..Snooki? You dredged up that for your commercials? Hahahahaha

  54. Shpip

    Super Bowl story:
    My in-laws’ house is a couple miles south-southwest of then-Alltel Stadium in Jacksonville. When Jax hosted the Big Game in 2005, my mother-in-law had just settled in to watch as a B-2 bomber overflew the field and made a gentle turn to the right. The plane crossed the stadium from north to south, and the turn brought it a little south-southwest of the field approximately eight seconds later.

    Peggy had forgotten about the broadcast time delay.

    So as she’s observing the aircraft above the field, in reality, a bomber is passing right over her house, the four GE turbofans doing their thing. To say that the noise startled her would be an understatement. She nearly went full-on apoplectic.

    She’s been gone for a few years now, but the story still makes me smile.

  55. The Late P Brooks

    WHERE IS THE ALL FEMALE OFFICIATING CREW? iT’S 2021, GODDAMMIT!

    • Ownbestenemy

      Bravo babylon bee…..bravo

      • rhywun

        Yeh, good one.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Hype with another misplaced meme…

      • The Hyperbole

        I’ve got a brand to maintain.

      • straffinrun

        Those literal Nazis should stop whining about being called literal Nazis?

      • The Hyperbole

        Sounds like they are whinging about “woke” commercials not about being called Nazis, I haven’t seen a commercial calling rednecks Nazis… yet.

      • straffinrun

        There is a direct connection between woke ideology and calling the non woke “Nazis”.

      • The Hyperbole

        Commercials showing masked up mixed couples thanking nurses is a dog whistle for “peckerwoods are Nazis” ?

      • straffinrun

        Some Soviet propaganda was a little less benign, but it was still based on a murderous ideology. Hell, some of the more benign stuff is even creepier.

  56. Suthenboy

    Wife gives thumbs-up to the fried wings.

    “How are they?”

    Her: “mmmmm hmmmm murfily murfily” *shakes more tabasco and continues chewing*

    I love cooking for people, especially her.

    • Ownbestenemy

      ???

  57. Ownbestenemy

    Pay 100 bucks for a picture of you so the NFL can pretend they have fans? People are ridiculous

    • creech

      Looking like they got the call right.

  58. Muzzled Woodchipper

    I’m surprised by this article in a couple of ways. Mostly that Vox allowed this part to go to print:

    Long-running supply issues are in large part due to onerous regulations at the local level that artificially restrict the amount of housing that can be built, from single-family zoning that makes it illegal to build townhouses or apartments or condos on any land zoned for a single unit to parking minimums that require developers to use valuable land for parking spaces even where it’s unnecessary.

    Additionally, the structure of local government allows small groups of (typically unrepresentative) people to block new development for a variety of concerns, from “neighborhood character” to the belief that low-income housing will drag down property values and even worries about the environmental impact of new development (although sprawl should be the bigger environmental concern).

    In 2017, Yale Law professor David Schleicher wrote a paper called “Stuck! The Law and Economics of Residential Stagnation.” In it, he documents local restrictions on housing development, arguing they have become so overbearing that the increase in the cost of housing and rents has made moving to a better place impossible for millions of Americans. Local zoning regulations are strangling opportunity.

    https://www.vox.com/22264268/covid-19-housing-insecurity-housing-prices-mortgage-rates-pandemic-zoning-supply-demand

    • Suthenboy

      Biden and company did promise to put HUD houses in every neighborhood

    • rhywun

      Wow, that is surprising.

      And it’s a pretty accurate description of why so many people are being priced out of blue areas.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        Most of the description is pretty good. Most of it is something most market oriented people would agree with.

        Of course most of the wailing is due to the inequality the current market has allegedly caused, but that’s just spittle.

  59. KromulentKristen

    I may have convinced my colleague to join us on Friday LOL

    • The Hyperbole

      Get busy masking or get busy dying.

      • hayeksplosives

        Titty sprinkles.