Joemala: Episode 14

by | Feb 24, 2021 | Joemala, SugarFree | 258 comments

Joe hunched over his oatmeal, a working breakfast in the Oval Office, one arm around the bowl protectively, as if the redhead who had just stalked in might take it from him.

“Good news, Mr. President,” she said brightly.

“I’m eating,” he muttered. Under the desk, one of his dogs quietly growled.

“Good news, Mr. President,” she said to his scowl. “The poll numbers for the COVID victims memorial are way, way up.”

“A moment of silence,” Joe said, spooning more oatmeal into his mouth. “All those people Trump killed.”

“Yes, sir.”

“You know what I think of when I think about strawberries? Summer. Summer.” He looked down at his bowl of beige mush. “This oatmeal doesn’t have any strawberries.”

“I can have some sent up from the kitchen,” Jen said. “Would you like some?”

“Fruit gives me the runs,” he said morosely. “You’re the only strawberry I can have.”

Jen backed up a couple of feet and looked around the room. A dog growled again.

“Good news, Mr. President,” she said, loudly.

“Oh, Jen, when did you get here?” Joe asked.

“The poll numbers for the COVID victims memorial are way, way up,” she said.

“Excellent news,” Joe said, “Just spectacular.” He stood and straightened his tie and jacket and pulled on his pajama bottoms until the tie-string was back around front. “Everyone’s popularity numbers good? I can’t have Dr. Wife getting all hated like Michelle Clinton.”

“Everyone loves your wife,” Jen lied smoothly.

“And Texas? There was something going on in Texas?”

“The winter storm, sir.”

“Yeah, yeah. And I fixed all that? Got it all working again?”

“Yes, sir.”

“That’s a fact, Jack!” Biden said and laughed. “I invented a vaccine for cold weather!”

Joe began coughing and sat down heavily. A dog whined under the desk and licked his dangling hand. They were both good dogs, he thought, but he could not recall their names.

About The Author

SugarFree

SugarFree

Your Resident Narcissistic Misogynist Rape-Culture Apologist

258 Comments

  1. The Late P Brooks

    “Everyone loves your wife,” Jen lied smoothly.

    You’ll go far, Jen.

    • bacon-magic

      She should’ve circled back on that question.

  2. Animal

    Is it good or bad that I wouldn’t be surprised if this was all literally true?

    • db

      Yeah, you’re not alone in thinking this one actually lies in the uncanny valley — too close to real for comfort.

      • Bobarian LMD

        These are all recordings taken from SF’s scrying pool, filled with the blood of virgins.

      • SugarFree

        “virgins”

      • Bobarian LMD

        Lots of fingers in those quotes.

      • commodious spittoon

        Fingers don’t count, just like anal.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Nah, Joe is too coherent.

  3. juris imprudent

    Surprised that Joe wasn’t having a conversation with the dogs.

    • db

      “You must do the Master’s bidding! You are the Sword of Michael!”

      • db

        That is exactly what I was going for, but I couldn’t find the video. Thanks!

  4. The Other Kevin

    “I can’t have Dr. Wife getting all hated like Michelle Clinton.”

    LOL. I miss the Hat and Hair, but damn if this isn’t also great.

  5. trshmnstr the terrible

    They were both good dogs, he thought, but he could not recall their names.

    This makes me sad.

    • Tundra

      This. I detest the man, but watching them trot him out in front of the cameras is getting hard to watch.

      • Ed Wuncler

        I think what’s so sad about political power is that you see these people try to hold on to it for as long as they can. John McCain got diagnosed with brain cancer and did he resign so he could spend more time with his family? Nope. He stayed in power and had them wheel his ass into the Senate rather than enjoy the few remaining months of his life. Or Nancy Pelosi. She’s fucking 80 years old and instead of her enjoying her time with her grandchildren and her loot from the citizenry, she would rather live out her remaining days on this Earth in DC dispensing power and money. Trump is another one. The dude is 75 years old and made a crap ton of money and have everything but would have rather spent the golden years of his life fighting a bunch of assholes in the Swamp.

      • Chipwooder

        The notion of a burning desire to control others is so alien to me.

      • Ed Wuncler

        Power especially over others is addicting.

      • Old Man With Candy

        For some personalities, absolutely. I note that the people in politics were a very certain kind of asshole when they were younger.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Overly enthusiastic Hall Monitors?

      • Chipwooder

        Yup. It’s like the military. When I made NCO, I was happy, but my happiness was because there were fewer people who could tell me what to do. I didn’t really want to tell anyone else to do, but a lot of other guys had the opposite feeling.

      • The Vacatious GT

        Crap! Was trying for this.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Which is why you’d be a shit politician.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        instead of her enjoying her time with her grandchildren

        Do you really think Nancy gives a shit about her family? I don’t for a second. People like that, and I include a lot of GOP in that description, are fundamentally incapable of anything other than feigning their love for anyone else. In reality, they’re all less attractive versions of Joan Crawford.

      • Mojeaux

        Trump was on a joy ride. It started out a lark and then he went WHEEEEEEEE! with great glee. Then he didn’t know what to do except poke at the media. Still a joy ride.

      • Suthenboy

        “The notion of a burning desire to control others is so alien to me.”

        ^This^

        “Power especially over others is addicting.”

        Everyone else’s problems becoming my problem? No, thank you.

        They don’t spend their golden years with their family because they are sociopaths. Other people, even their own family, are just objects to be manipulated to their own advantage. They are essentially inhuman. They look like people, they know how to sound like humans but they are not. Instead of electing them we should put a bounty on them.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        ?

        Everyone should be required to read Moses Farrow’s description of his mother. It so aptly depicts so much of our political class as well.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        Everyone else’s problems becoming my problem? No, thank you.

        This is only sorta true.

        Yeah, you have to feign sympathy for others and their problems, but you needn’t make them your problems.

        Their job isn’t to take on problems, but to give people new sets of problems they didn’t previously. Like the idea that 1/2 the country is made up of “white supremacists.” Now the other 1/2 of the country has a new problem that they didn’t have even 4 years ago.

      • R C Dean

        THis here. You are thimking of a good leader, Suthen. These people aren’t that. They aren’t there to make other people’s problems their own and solve them. Heavens no. The last thing they want to do is actually solve a problem. Problems are good for votes and fundraising.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        RBG too.

      • Agent Cooper

        They’ll have to wheel Chuck Grassley OUT of the Senate.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I can’t feel sympathy for the son of a bitch.

        He spent his life fleecing the system and has facilitated the current situation. I hope his decline into dementia is both miserable and public.

      • Tundra

        It already is. He’s fucking late stage and they are still pretending.

      • pistoffnick

        48 years in politics, never held a real job (except for as a lifeguard facing down Corn Pop)

      • Ed Wuncler

        That’s the crazy thing about lifers like Biden. Dude has never worked outside of being in a political office but yet he and a lot of people believes that he is able to make decisions that effects millions of people.

      • The Other Kevin

        Wait, he’s not a regular working-class guy from Scranton?

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Michael Scott for President.

      • KromulentKristen

        Did you notice he never did an obligatory helicopter flight over Texas? Or even stood on a palette of space blankets & gave an “inspiring leader” speech?

      • Tres Cool

        Any turbulence would likely snap his frail bones. He needs to be on AF1 with the “cozy chair”. Jump seat would shatter his hips.

    • Bobarian LMD

      ” he could not recall their names.”

      Hunter and Beau?

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Even Reagan was saying “Princess David” to Diana in ’85, bless his heart.

      Talk-show “I won’t run but I’ll talk about politics” Trump was saner and quieter and more interesting ca. ’85-’05.

  6. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Michelle Clinton was a real bitch.

    • CPRM

      Missed joke, which doesn’t happen often with SF:

      “Michelle O’Clinton,” Joe said in a Lucky charms voice as he shoveled more oatmeal in his mouth, “Num nums are magically delicious!” A sinister smile crept across his face.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        num nums….

        *shudders*

      • Bobarian LMD

        “Tendie num-nums” will be back in a future issue.

      • Tres Cool

        A woman goes to her gyno for the annual under-hood inspection. Feet in the stirrups, each time he tries to get the speculum in, she says “Ow! OUCH!”. The doc says, looks like Im gonna have to numb you.

        Then he plants his face in her crotch and says “num num num num”

      • Sean

        lol

    • Tres Cool

      Imagine a Michelle Clinton-Feinstein

  7. Jerms

    So good. You should be getting paid for this shit.

    • Nephilium

      Don’t give us contributors any ideas here!

      • Animal

        I’m sure I speak for all us contributors when I say that the accolades of our fellow Glibs is more than payment enough.

      • The Hyperbole

        Wait, we’re not getting paid. Where’d this $600 check come from?

      • Mad Scientist

        Those checks are reparations paid to people who assisted STEVE SMITH with his, uh, research.

  8. CPRM

    “You know what I think of when I think about strawberries? Summer. Summer.” He looked down at his bowl of beige mush. “This oatmeal doesn’t have any strawberries.”

    I’m going to go all Ted’s on you.

  9. Creosote Achilles

    It says something about the state of the literary establishment that these aren’t being published by major publishers.

    • Bobarian LMD

      Larry Flynt died.

  10. Yusef, Chaser of the Devils Tail

    Ill take that vaccine,

  11. Old Man With Candy

    I’m dyin’.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Should we call 911?

      • KromulentKristen

        No no – let SP “handle” it!

      • Old Man With Candy

        Every once in a while, I’m reminded of the downside of people actually knowing us.

  12. trshmnstr the terrible

    I invented a vaccine for cold weather!

    Please, Joe, that’s just a magnesium shot.

    • CPRM

      Magnesium rounds?

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        That would work, too. I was thinking the intravenous Epsom Salt solution given to pre-eclamptic pregnant women. It makes the skin feel like it’s on fire.

      • Mojeaux

        You should try a straight-up potassium IV in your arm. I’d rather give birth again.

      • Tres Cool

        I meant to reply to you a couple days ago WRT Jugsy- her company has been shipping her south of the Mason-Dixon recently. 2 weeks out, a weekend back, then back out again. Which is why the “palatial 2X-wide” looks like Delta house from “Animal House” at the moment.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Yep, it was the single worst part of the delivery for my wife. During the magnesium drip she said “this WILL be our last child and you WILL be getting snipped”

      • Scruffy Nerfherder
  13. The Late P Brooks

    Magnesium rounds?

    Tungsten. Something what packs a wallop.

    • Tundra

      Depleted uranium work?

      • Bobarian LMD

        Enriched uranium, if you want to be really sure.

      • UnCivilServant

        You really want weapons-grade.

      • bacon-magic

        You all are on a list now.

      • Tundra

        Another list.

        I just hope the drone strike doesn’t get any of my family or friends.

      • Tres Cool

        Don’t get your hopes up. Wasnt it in 2016 that Obama dropped something like 26,700 lbs of munitions on the mideast, and killed something like 15,000 civilians ? Not very surgical.

      • Chipwooder

        Surgical…..if your surgeon is Dr. Nick Riviera.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    Depleted uranium work?

    Yes. Yes it would.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    Apropos of nothing- I wonder how many people have been electrocuted while charging their electric vehicles.

    • Mad Scientist

      There are a shocking (ha!) number of safeties in place to prevent that. Nevertheless, I’m sure some idiot has managed it.

  16. UnCivilServant

    Trash can: empty and locked.

    • Nephilium

      /waits to hear about the neighbors using a hot blade to cut the plastic hinges

      • UnCivilServant

        There would be less plastic to cut if they gouged through the edge to the hole where the shackle goes through.

        So far they haven’t actively broken anything, but this is the most drastic countermeasure I’ve taken.

        I should have noticed that a previous owner had already drilled it to accept a padlock. that would have been a good warning sign.

    • Tres Cool

      Your remark in the other thread that you would have trouble identifying the offender(s)- I dont know what your location is like, but one of those cheap Trail Cameras could be handy if you chose to pursue something.

      • UnCivilServant

        There’s no good place to mount it on the house. The best place from a viewing angle would get smashed by the storm door every time I had to step outside.

      • bacon-magic

        Put it inside the can.

      • Tres Cool

        With a claymore.

      • UnCivilServant

        *sigh*

        Look, I need to make the can as usable to me as I can. Something that might blow up the can is not a viable option.

      • Not Adahn

        Too bad it’s not summer — a wasp nest could come in handy.

      • UnCivilServant

        The first and foremost requirement is that I am able to use the can. That means not causing trouble for the garbage collectors either.

        Why do none of you factor that in to these suggestions?

      • R C Dean

        Why do none of you factor that in to these suggestions?Why do none of you factor that in to these suggestions?

        Because we’re irresponsible and immature?

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Random aside, I just found the bug that causes the doubling of the text like in Dean’s post. I’ll push the fix out shortly.

      • Agent Cooper

        You’re no fun.

      • Agent Cooper

        Sign on the can that says: Smile dipshit, you’re on camera.

        Don’t even need a camera.

      • UnCivilServant

        Then it would have to be a more expesnive model better suited to surviving getting trash dumped on it.

      • Plisade

        Put it on the underside of the lid?

      • UnCivilServant

        The trucks hook the cans to an automatic lifter arm and it tips into the truck, so the underside of the lid gets trash dumped on it too.

      • bacon-magic

        You don’t want a solution. This is your Grail gripe amirite?

    • Cy Esquire

      C4?

      • UnCivilServant

        I repeat:

        UnCivilServant on February 24, 2021 at 12:38 pm

        *sigh*

        Look, I need to make the can as usable to me as I can. Something that might blow up the can is not a viable option.

    • Sean

      Have you tried talking to the landlord/management?

      • UnCivilServant

        Haven’t managed to find them.

      • Sean

        Spray paint a giant penis on their building, they’ll find you.

        ?

      • Pine_Tree

        Be careful hauling the can with all their junk in it. You could hurt your back that way.

      • Pine_Tree

        What about sending the landlord a bill for their rental of your trash service? Some fraction of whatever you had to pay the city. County tax office could easily tell you the mailing address. Then if they don’t pay, maybe put a lien on the property.

      • UnCivilServant

        Since it’s rolled into the property tax bill, I’m not sure what the actual pricing is for that particular service.

      • Pine_Tree

        So you could assume it’s, say, 80% of your property tax bill. Perhaps that’s not right. But if they think it should be a lower %, they can propose something.

    • Timeloose

      So you have to take it off to fill it and when putting it on the curb? I remember the saga, but not the details of this, are they filling it before it goes on the curb? You could paint the inside of the lid with “smile asshole” kind of a fake camera deterrent.

      • UnCivilServant

        I am going to see how much of a hassle it is to manage the lock.

        Trying to rely on the neighbors bothering to read has thusfar proved futile.

  17. Cy Esquire

    Good stuff. Surprised there weren’t a few china/hunter stabs in there.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Like Trump there is just so much material to work with. SF won’t disappoint..though these haven’t made me decide to pump my stomach myself…yet

  18. The Late P Brooks

    You all are on a list now.

    That sounds like a premise for a Gilbert and Sullivan song.

    • bacon-magic

      Mel Brooke’s number more like. “The inquisition, the inquisition…”

      • bacon-magic

        *Brooks

  19. Hyperion

    “I can’t have Dr. Wife getting all hated like Michelle Clinton.”

    Perfect.

  20. juris imprudent

    Uh oh, PJ might be stepping on some toes.

    Now, I am an expert on writing about people and what’s wrong with them… And today, this country has a “poor me, the little guy” problem in a big way.

    • Sean

      There is no “little guy” in this country. Every American citizen stands with the same height and strength, equal before the law to a degree remarkable by any world or world history standard.

      *Falls out of chair laughing*

      Maybe 10 years ago I would have given that statement a chance. These days, that’s just fucking delusional.

    • Chipwooder

      I like PJ, but I think the problem with what he is saying is that this country has “fundamentally changed”, as Chocolate Jesus promised to do, and the things he states in that column don’t apply so much anymore.

    • EvilSheldon

      *sigh*

      P.J.’s writing is as tight as ever, but his thinking has really started to go downhill. I’m starting to think that this is the inevitable end stage of even really talented pundits…

      • Chipwooder

        I mean, he’s like 75 now. Time comes for us all eventually.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        I thought he went for Hillary, no?

      • Chipwooder

        He did. He said something like “she’d an acceptable kind of awful while Trump is an unacceptable kind”. I don’t remember the exact words but it was something along those lines.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        And yet he lives today!

      • Old Man With Candy

        “Awful within normal parameters.” That whole magazine is beyond awful. I made the mistake of reading a couple things by Kim Iskyan and strongly regret that.

      • Gadfly

        but his thinking has really started to go downhill.

        The problem that I see in that article is that he is considering everything from an economic standpoint. And while economics is a core part of any political movement, power is also a part of it. And while zero-sum is a fallacy in economics, it is not a fallacy in politics. Unlike wealth, power is relatively non-dynamic. If I want to get wealthier than you, that doesn’t mean I have to make you poorer – we can both become wealthier at the same time (or poorer at the same time). If I want to be more powerful than you, I can only do that by taking power away from you. Populism has a considerable grievance when they are upset with other people wielding power over them. And while that is not the main thrust of most populist movements, it is usually a part, and so should be given due consideration. There is nothing noble about reflexively siding with the optimates.

      • juris imprudent

        Populism has a considerable grievance when they are upset with other people wielding power over them.

        And the failure of populism is that it wants to use that same power, not to cast the ring into Mt. Doom.

    • kbolino

      A populist is somebody offering democracy to a democracy, somebody saying, “I’ll give you a dollar for four quarters.”

      This is all well and good, with one small problem: we don’t have a democracy. And I don’t just mean “it’s a republic, not a democracy” pedantry. Cortez, Sanders, Trump, Greene, and some others are distinct by virtue of being outsiders to the DC bubble. It is unusual for someone like them to come along. Much as I dislike her, AOC does not actually seem to be beholden to the Democratic Party machine. That is both good and bad in its own ways, of course, but it is not the norm.

      It’s not necessarily a bad thing that we don’t have a democracy. Our country’s founders were pretty well read and knew the folly of Athenian democracy, of the collapse of the Roman republic, and so on. “Democracy is two wolves and a sheep voting on what’s for dinner” and all that. The nominal purpose of our government is, after all, the protection of our liberties, and the democratic elements are there to ensure that the people in charge stay focused on that goal (ha!). The popular consciousness has inverted this to thinking that democracy is the point and protection of liberties is just a nice to have that can be suspended whenever inconvenient.

      But O’Rourke could just as well have written that “An anti-populist is somebody offering elite control to a country controlled by elites” or “A technocrat is somebody offering the administrative state to an administrative state”. Trump et al. are not selling water to a drowning man. They are selling an (explicit) emphasis on some aspects of our system over an (usually implicit) emphasis on other aspects. All the terminal vices of populism apply just as well to expertism; it is ultimately aimless, it is subject to capture by sociopaths, it can lead to a bunch of unpopular people being scapegoated, yadda yadda.

      The problem with populism is that what is popular and what is right are not the same thing. The problem with anti-populism is that what is popular among one clique is not inherently better than what is popular among another clique.

  21. Chipwooder

    Hey Other Kevin, I think I may have found that Smashing Pumpkins show you were talking about yesterday.

  22. The Late P Brooks

    Hysteria

    Though Sarginson has dealt with health anxiety in the past, she says the coronavirus pandemic made it worse.

    “It’s made me a lot more scared. It’s taken it up a notch,” she said. “Everyone’s going about their lives and I’m in my room Googling symptoms, panicking, checking my temperature.”

    This hyper-focus on health concerns is something that people with health anxiety can struggle with daily, said Melissa Dowd, a therapist at PlushCare, a virtual mental health and primary care company. Many may be more familiar with the former term hypochondria (or more technically hypochondriasis), which was replaced in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders in 2013 by two updated concepts: somatic symptom disorder and illness anxiety disorder.

    Dowd defined health anxiety as “worries and obsessions related to a perceived threat to one’s health.”

    Being bombarded nonstop by wildly exaggerated tales of the deadliest and most contagious disease ever makes people paranoid? Makes some people, who are more susceptible than average, go completely bonkers?

    Somebody ought to do a study, or something.

    • Ownbestenemy

      We have friends that believe the virus is floating in the air, everywhere. I tell them tie garlic to your belt when they go outside and they don’t get it.

    • juris imprudent

      Many may be more familiar with the former term hypochondria

      Yep, that was the word that leaped into my head. So now that is an un-word apparently. Well fuck that.

  23. kinnath

    Fuck Disney

    https://screenrant.com/firefly-revival-season-2-release-date-story-details/

    A revival of Firefly is rumored to be in the works from Disney; . . . .

    Little is known about the plot of Disney’s potential Firefly reboot. It would likely retell the story of Mal Reynolds’ time in the Unification War, a conflict he would ultimately lose, which defined the character and his worldview in crucial ways.

    The Firefly revival would almost certainly feature an entirely new cast.

    Disney rewrites history again to trash another strong male lead.

    • Brochettaward

      Libertarianism snuck into that show despite the views of its creator. Disney will not make that same mistake again.

      • robc

        It happened with all of Whedon’s shows.

      • db

        Whedon has some seriously deep seated issues that make him long for the love of libertarians but lash out at them openly.

      • Cy Esquire

        Most whore’s have internal moral conflicts.

        It’s easier to swallow when you tell yourself it’s worth the price.

      • Raven Nation

        What was his supposed statement? Something along the lines of “I fucking hate conservatives but I really, really, really fucking hate liberals.”

      • EvilSheldon

        I think that was Trey Parker.

        Whedon has always been a committed Lefty.

      • Creosote Achilles

        It happened largely because of Tim Minear. Minear is a big Heinlein fan and it shows heavily in Firefly on multiple fronts. From the frontier/western in space, to space whores, to the general anti-authoritarian vibe. I’d argue that much of what Whedon got right had to do with Minear being involved as a writer.

      • db

        I didn’t know that about Minear. Makes sense though.

      • Tundra

        Interesting. I am not a sci fi dude, but I really loved Firefly. It definitely checked all the boxes for me, particularly the space whore.

      • Mad Scientist

        The space mechanic was way hotter.

      • R C Dean

        Its a classic Ginger/Mary Anne conundrum.

      • Agent Cooper

        Mythic storytelling (Joseph Campbell) is by default libertarian.

      • Mojeaux

        ^^^That.

      • The Hyperbole

        People are also really good at seeing what they want to see. Years back I was listening to a conservative talk show and they subject was “liberal” Hollywood, One caller pointed out that some popular movie was actually very conservative thematically, soon others called in naming other movies and franchises, it ended up so wide open that any movie that had good verses evil in it was a “conservative” movie.

    • Cy Esquire

      Much brave. So strong.

      *Cpt Janeway Rolls here eyes from 1995*

    • EvilSheldon

      Is there a single corpse out there that the Mouse can leave unfucked?

      • juris imprudent

        Yes. Any that won’t yield money from a good rat-fucking.

      • Nephilium

        Song of the South.

      • l0b0t

        Only in the US; i have a Japanese import DVD.

    • bacon-magic

      Noooooooooooooooooooooooo.

    • Not Adahn

      Wait, isn’t Wheedon currently cancelled? I can never keep these thigs striaght.

      • SugarFree

        He is, but Disney hasn’t banished him to the outer dark yet.

    • SugarFree

      My vow to stop hate-watching stuff has served me pretty well. I slip, on occasion–fuck you Lovecraft Country–but I can avoid this shit easily enough.

      • Bobarian LMD

        I watched enough episodes to know I wouldn’t be watching the rest of them.

        Two.

    • DEG

      I will pass.

  24. Cy Esquire

    Anyone else notice how “The State of the Union” has quietly gone by without a peep from anyone who ‘matters?’

    • bacon-magic

      Look up the wiki page on it LMAO.

      • Cy Esquire

        That’s a lot of bullshit o swallow in 2 paragraphs.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Isn’t it usually done after the first full year?

      • R C Dean

        Its odd that they scheduled one for Biden. Maybe they were thinking they could do an unusual SOTU by a President who has been in office for only a few weeks, but decided it was just too risky?

      • The Vacatious GT

        MS. PSAKI: We don’t know where the February 23rd date came from. It’s a great mystery. I’ve not Nancy Drew-ed that one out yet, but it was never planned to be in February and we don’t have a date for a joint session at this point.

        Certainly, the President looks forward to addressing the public. We remain in touch with leaders in Congress about a timeline and a format and what that would look like. Obviously, it won’t look like it is looked like in the past, that many of you have covered and I’ve attended, where you all sit on the floor of Congress and the President gives a speech, because of COVID. But we’re not behind any timeline because that date was never accurate.

        From 2/16/21 WH press briefing.

        “PBS is fake news!”

      • R C Dean

        Looks like they usually skip it for a brand new President, according to wiki.

      • Cy Esquire

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/State_of_the_Union

        That’s what this reference is also showing.

        But I can look up State of the union addresses for Obama in ’09 and Trump in ’17. They note Obama’s as just SOTU but there some techinicality that Trump’s wasn’t a SOTU…

      • R C Dean

        That’s the wiki I looked at.

        After a trifle more digging, it looks like brand new Presidents typically do the big ceremonial address to Congress in late January/early February, but its not formally a SOTU. Either way, Joe hasn’t done what is typical.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Yet at the same time, his media sycophants are trying to seal a base by calling it a SOTU. Too bad President Dementia isn’t cooperating.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Smells like bullshit. What politician gives up a chance to address the nation?

      • bacon-magic

        A lefty just linked the wiki on the SOTU address to prove it can be whenever he wants to do it. ha ha

    • Gustave Lytton

      There usually isn’t a SOTU immediately following a newly inaugurated President, only off years and re-elections.

      • Cy Esquire

        AHA! I found it!

        https://www.foxnews.com/politics/biden-first-address-joint-session-congress

        “Past presidents have traditionally given a speech to Congress during their first year in office, often in February. An address to a joint session of Congress is like a State of the Union, though it technically is not called that until the president’s second year in office.”

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Ok, I am with you now. It may not have been an official SOTU yesterday, but there should have been something. Or, if not yesterday, sometime by the end of the month.

        They have to still be fighting about that awful town hall though. I watched some parts last night that were not reported on and holy fuck was it bad. I don’t think he ever completed a sentence.

      • juris imprudent

        Yeah, I was thinking that the Inaugural address usually lays out the new President’s plan – if he has one.

  25. kinnath

    https://www.npr.org/2021/02/24/970914755/judge-bans-enforcement-of-bidens-100-day-deportation-pause

    Judge Bans Enforcement Of Biden’s 100-Day Deportation Pause

    A federal judge late Tuesday indefinitely banned President Joe Biden’s administration from enforcing a 100-day moratorium on most deportations.

    Tipton, a Trump appointee, initially ruled on Jan. 26 that the moratorium violated federal law on administrative procedure and that the U.S. failed to show why a deportation pause was justified. A temporary restraining order the judge issued was set to expire Tuesday.

    The ghost of Trump/Mitchell haunts Sleepy Joe.

    • juris imprudent

      Live by the judicial sword, die by it.

    • KromulentKristen

      But what about a built-in Slap Chop and Ronco Dehydrator station?

      • db

        I’ll take 200!

      • db

        I considered Opus a cautionary example

      • pistoffnick

        “turnip twaddler”

        We’ve already discussed the dangers of wi-fi sex toyz.

  26. Cy Esquire

    Really hard hitting stuff:

    https://www.foxnews.com/politics/obama-springsteen-podcast-reparations-white-resistance

    “And what I saw during my presidency was the politics of White resistance and resentment. The talk of ‘welfare queens’ and the talk of the ‘undeserving’ poor. And the backlash against affirmative action,” Obama said.

    “All that made the prospect of actually proposing any kind of coherent, meaningful reparations program struck me as, politically, not only a nonstarter but potentially counterproductive.”

    • R C Dean

      The talk of ‘welfare queens fraud’ and the talk of the ‘undeserving’ poor, because everyone knows every poor person deserves life-long handouts no matter how bad their life decisions have been. And the backlash against affirmative action government-mandated anti-white discrimination.

    • The Last American Hero

      I do tend to resent Presidents that say that the real terrorists aren’t guys from the Middle East that blow things up, kidnap and decapitate people, but white males over the age of 30 that believe in gun rights, the constitution, and tend to vote third party.

      I guess that must be what he means by “white resentment”.

      • rhywun

        Is it just me or is he even worse now than he was during his reign? Either that or he’s got his finger on the pulse of today’s Democratic Party.

    • Chipwooder

      I’ll be glad to pay reparations to anyone who I enslaved. Produce this person and I’ll get my checkbook.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Do wage slaves count?

    • Pope Jimbo

      Is it me or does Obama seem even more miffed about a Biden administration than a Trump administration?

      With Trump he could live with it because people who love Trump aren’t going to love Obama. But with all the fawning over Biden, it seems like Obama is getting peeved. Don’t they realize that he’s the one true progressive and Biden was only elected because of his coattails? How can they gush about his Mario Kart scores?

      Trying to one up Biden might also explain Obama’s most recent Never Before Told Tale about the time he beat up some racist in a locker room. Suck on that Joe with your stupid push up contests!

      • SugarFree

        The Dem primaries had a lot on the far left calling him a bad president and not a committed Progressive and other hurtful things. That’s what stung his ego so badly.

      • Pope Jimbo

        It does have to add extra salt to the wound to be jilted by progressives for Joe Biden, given what you personally know about Joe.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Joe was always a millstone around his neck.

        It would be one thing if Joe always had troubles speechifying. I’m thinking about “W” here. Or Trump. Those two knuckleheads always had a hard time articulating whatever lie they were trying to pass off at the time.

        But if you look at old Biden tapes he was at least able to talk for more than 10 minutes without visibly having his brain reset.

      • juris imprudent

        Best damn life insurance policy EVAH!

    • KromulentKristen

      Because Obama’s entire father’s side of the family was never enslaved, how is that gonna work out?

      And what about the folks descended from black slave owners?

      And what about Roseanne Cash, whose 4x great grandmother was a slave?

      I don’t know how these people possibly think they can unravel all this.

      I do know that as the Whitest Person on Earth, I’ll probably have to pay for most of it out of my own pocket.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Personally the only good thing about an actual reparations package would be to see the blatant flip flopping.

        Everyone would rush out to 23 And Me to hopefully get proof that they have enough black ancestry to cash in. Even real actual white supremacists would publicly proclaim their black ancestors in order to get that sweet govt loot.

        The super militant black nationalists would be pissed to discover that white people have no problems whatsoever fessing up to having more than a few drops of black blood. Also, they would be upset when their DNA tests prove that they have enough white ancestry to force them to cough up some reparations themselves.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Looks at family tree…well my kids don’t need to go to college.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I don’t know how these people possibly think they can unravel all this.

        My dad (a moderately conservative Republican) made the point a few months back that he, a man with mixed Italian-Jewish ancestry whose grandparents immigrated to the US in the early 20th century, has exactly zero reason to be paying any money to any ancestors of black slaves. However, he’s well aware that he’s exactly the kind of person who will be left holding the bag when the reparations game ends.

        When moderate conservatives are using the language and tone he used about the issue, it’s a non-starter. There are plenty of people who will blow their entire investment portfolio out of spite before paying a cent of reparations.

  27. DEG

    I like how Psaki managed Biden.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    Speaking of shows…

    I might be the only person here who didn’t already know this, but Amazon’s Utopia is a remake of an earlier Limey Utopia. I started watching it (the Limey version) a couple of nights ago, after I re-watched the Amazon one because I thought there was an Amazon season 2. Apparently Amazon cancelled season 2; probably because it was too terrifyingly (horrifically!) pandemic-y for these troubled times.

    It was worth watching the Amazon version a second time, because i definitely missed some stuff the first time around.

    • UnCivilServant

      Never heard of the show, so I didn’t know it was a remake of another show I never heard of.

      • Nephilium

        It had the misfortune of predicting a large flu-like plague that would kill most of humanity being released. And it started airing last year. The warning before the episodes is amazingly bad. The show is pretty decent though.

      • Bobarian LMD

        I enjoyed it, but thought the twists at the end were kinda lame. If they’d planned it for a single season, they could have avoided some of the dumber plot twists.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    And what I saw during my presidency was the politics of White resistance and resentment.

    Perhaps because that is precisely what you were looking for.

    • R C Dean

      If he believes this, it stands as a good example of the trap of believing you live in a deeply racist country. He is blind to any opposition having any roots other than racism. That people were opposed to reparations for any number of very good reasons just disappears into their “white fragility” and “systemic racism” and all the rest.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        He doesn’t believe it. it’s a useful political tool. Remember that Barry is an Alinsky acolyte, any lie is acceptable as long as it gets you what you want.

      • kbolino

        I’d say his narcissism ranks above any hidden agenda. He’s a shallow thinker, given great adulation for mediocrity, who thinks in terms of “big picture” but never personally wants to get his own hands dirty. When the great post-racial unity healing of America by its First Black President didn’t magically happen despite his best intentions but total lack of action, it therefore must be someone else’s fault. There was probably lots of internal blame, but the externalized blame is all we see.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      It’s exactly how he wanted it to be branded and the media obliged. NPR in particular.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      Dear Mr. Obama,

      Opposing your policies was not due to White resistance or resentment. It was due to your policies being socialist crap. You and your friends in academia are not that smart. I know this because you and they believe in these terrible policies.

      Sincerely
      Dr. Fronkensteen.

  30. The Late P Brooks

    Never heard of the show, so I didn’t know it was a remake of another show I never heard of.

    Fixed.

    Can you paint your house number on that trash can, to designate it as yours exclusively? Or have you already done that, to no effect?

    • UnCivilServant

      I already painted the number on the can some time ago.

      It had thusfar not caused people living at a different building number to realize it’s not theirs.

  31. The Late P Brooks

    The warning before the episodes is amazingly bad. The show is pretty decent though.

    It’s perfect. The warning, that is.

    “Something something work of fiction. Any similarity to actual pandemics, living or dead…”

  32. The Late P Brooks

    It had thusfar not caused people living at a different building number to realize it’s not theirs.

    That’s what i had assumed. But you never know.

    • mikey

      Oh, they know it’s not theirs alright.

    • Timeloose

      Get a can of axle grease and cover the edge and underneath the lid. Also get some disposable gloves.

      Reapply weekly. Add some offensive materials to the grease if you want to get nasty.

      You won’t offend anyone but the offender.

  33. mikey

    Well, SF has certainely handled the transition well.
    I get to keep/maintain my visioin of the president in his private moments – “fake but true”. SF reality is the best reality.

    • Mad Scientist

      It’s not much of a transition to swap one demented idiot for another.

  34. The Late P Brooks

    A lefty just linked the wiki on the SOTU address to prove it can be whenever he wants to do it. ha ha

    They’re on to us!

    *peers around suspiciously*

  35. Sean

    PSA: Fenix ammo is doing a 9mm drop tomorrow at 10am (EST).

    For those of you with deep pockets…

    • LCDR_Fish

      My order from a couple weeks ago just shipped.

  36. LCDR_Fish

    Quick question. I was all ready to paint my shiny aluminum lower with a few coats of krylon black and matte clear when someone else said I should use aluminum primer on it first.

    Is this a recommendation or a necessity? I’d like to take advantage of the nice weather the next couple of days to finish painting this thing so I can work on assembling it this weekend. Its a cheap lower and this is my first build. Not the end of the world if I have to redo some of it later but I’d prefer not to add too much work to the process.

    • Mad Scientist

      If you use a primer you’ll be less likely to flake the top coat off with normal wear and tear. If you don’t care about that, don’t bother.

    • db

      When coating aluminum, it’s best to remove the oxide layer first. An oxide layer builds up very quickly on Al surfaces exposed to air, and coatings won’t stick as well. You can use Scotchbrite pads (the red kind intended for prepping metal surfaces is best). You can also scrub with a bleach free dry cleaner like Comet or Bar Keeper’s Friend — dry–do not add water, and make sure it is free of bleach.

      Or you could acid etch with a phosphoric acid agent, which works really well for some alloys.

      Then clean with acetone or MEK, then thoroughly dry the workpiece and paint as soon as possible.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Thanks. I was planning a light sanding, clean with brake cleaner, dry and then several coats of krylon black followed by krylon matte clear.

        Doesn’t appear oxidized to look at right now. Milled it in late 2019 and its been wrapped in a plastic bag since then.

      • LCDR_Fish

        I do have some acetone on hand though.

        I’ve got this afternoon and tomorrow afternoon, then the weather is uncertain again for a while.

      • Mad Scientist

        Plenty of time. Clean it thoroughly with acetone. Hang it with a piece of wire. Shoot all 6 sides at once.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Cool

      • db

        It is oxidized. It only takes minutes for a thin film to form. After a few hours, it should be done again.

      • db

        You could probably wait a day or so, but the longer you wait, the more the coating will bind to the porous oxide layer rather than the base metal.

    • Timeloose

      Home anodizing?

  37. The Late P Brooks

    Is this a recommendation or a necessity? I’d like to take advantage of the nice weather the next couple of days to finish painting this thing so I can work on assembling it this weekend. Its a cheap lower and this is my first build. Not the end of the world if I have to redo some of it later but I’d prefer not to add too much work to the process.

    Long term, you should probably primer it. I’d use MarHyde semigloss bumper paint on it. It has some substance to it. Make sure it’s really clean, and maybe even warm it up with a propane torch before spraying.

  38. The Late P Brooks

    The MarHyde might need a little tune-up in places where there are tight clearances and moving parts.

    • LCDR_Fish

      I’ll look for that. I was looking for rustoleum aluminum primer at Walmart but couldn’t find any. This is a 100% unassembled lower..

  39. The Late P Brooks

    Is it just me or is he even worse now than he was during his reign? Either that or he’s got his finger on the pulse of today’s Democratic Party.

    He is not constrained by any actual working relationship with the Republicans, so he is free to give them an occasional thumb in the eye.

    • rhywun

      lol

  40. Mojeaux

    Getting XX thoroughly trained as to how to drive is going to drive me to drink.

    I am also not a very good teacher of anything.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      Have her go go-carting when they open up again. Less nerve racking than a 1 1/2 ton machine that can go 90 miles an hour. I say that not know her current skill level.

    • rhywun

      I hope you don’t live at the bottom of a hill with standard transmission like I did.

  41. Tres Cool

    “And what I saw during my presidency was the politics of White resistance and resentment.”

    Yeah, thats why you got elected twice by a plurality of americans, you contemptible POS

    • Rothbardsbitch

      Au contraire! Biden is apparently the most popular president/politician/human being in American history and he is white so that’s white supremacy! Checkmate!

  42. Rothbardsbitch

    Great entry!

    Been rewatching Veep its basically a documentary. Very few shows capture the true nature of politicians.

    I also just finished the first Dune book. Very libertarian, the author actually wrote the book to warn people not to fall for charismatic politicians. Specifically Kennedy but in general as well. He used to work as a speech writer in Washington DC.

    Its a bit outdated and definitely overrated but if you can read something like Game of Thrones without your brain breaking then I suggest Dune. DO NOT WATCH THE 1980 MOVIE IT IS THE WORST FILM I”VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE.

    Perhaps the new one will be good we will have to see.

  43. Rothbardsbitch

    Also, anyone getting tired of the anti covid vax conspiracy theories. Look if you doubt the vaccine you are not crazy and you should not be censored. I totally get your skepticism and you should not be forced to take it. But if the vaccine really started to kill people in mass quantities then the pitchforks would be out and the peasant violence that would be shed would make the French Revolution look like a walk in the park. Also, the people who would not have taken the vaccine are the conspiracy theorists and skeptics, and then the powers that be would be left with no or very few workers and shit ton of people that hate the establishment. The military and police are getting the vaccine so there would be no one to protect them. If anything THEY would want to kill the people who refuse to take the vaccine.