The Martini is a classic drink that has been deconstructed, reconstructed, torn down, and slapped together again. The origins are up for debate, but most believe that it was an evolution of the Martinez. The traditional Martini (my preference) has two ingredients and a garnish. The two ingredients are gin and dry vermouth, the garnish is either an olive or a lemon twist.
The martini fell on some hard times during the 90’s and 00’s, when a glut of Martini bars opened up, most of which were selling alcoholic sweet abominations that they referred to as %flavor% Martini (look to the espresso or chocolate Martini for examples), and spawned the foul appletini. There has also been a strong tendency for the Martini to become served at a drier level (less vermouth then the classic ratio), and for the substitution of vodka for gin.
- 2 part gin
- 1 part dry vermouth
- Garnish (olive/lemon; sub out a cocktail onion and you have a Gibson).
Gin and vermouth get added to a cocktail shaker (or pitcher) over ice, which is then stirred to chill, then you strain it into a chilled cocktail glass. Why stir this drink instead of shaking it? Most people will say something about “bruising the gin”. The reason you don’t shake it is that the shaking will cause two negative effects: it’ll dilute the strength of the drink, and it will add ice chips and flakes to the drink (which will cause it to look cloudy instead of pristine and clear). There’s several stories floating around that the reason that Ian Fleming had Bond order his Martinis shaken, not stirred was as a subtle nod that he was an uncultured brute who wouldn’t fit into the upper class he was trying to blend into.
There are a couple of accepted changes to the classic that can be ordered with the addition of a word:
Dirty – This means to add a splash of the olive brine into the cocktail (and always garnished with an olive)
Perfect – Less frequently used here then in the world of the Manhattan, this means to use half the dry vermouth, and add an equal amount of sweet vermouth.
Wet – A changed ratio, with more vermouth
Dry – A changed ratio, with less vermouth
On the rocks – Served over ice in a rocks glass instead of the standard up in a chilled cocktail glass.
Churchill – I don’t actually like Martinis, so just give me a large serving of chilled gin
Vodka – I want to drink out of a fancy glass, but don’t know any other drinks that are served in a cocktail glass
Vodka Churchill – I have no plans for tonight or tomorrow, and would just like to get drunk as quickly as possible.
Now, since I’ve brought up Bond and Fleming, there is a variant on the Martini that was created and named in one of the Bond books. I speak of:
- 3 part gin
- 1 part vodka
- ½ part Lillet Blanc/Cocchi Americano
This drink is built and shaken (to dilute it, as it’s a beast of a drink) per the recipe provided in the book, but you can stir it if you prefer. After that, it’s strained into a chilled cocktail glass.
Since it seems wrong just to leave you with two drinks, let’s take a swerve to one that those of you who don’t like vermouth, but like gin may appreciate:
- Gin (Plymouth or other non-dry gin preferred)
- Dash of bitters
Chill your gin, add a dash (or more) of bitters (the traditional one for this is Angostura) and mix it. You can also do this by adding the bitters to the chilled cocktail glass and then adding the gin. This is also a fairly potent drink, and can be cut with chilled water or tonic if you prefer.
Sapphire, dirty, not dry, 3 olives, shaken, and I’m stickin’ to it.
(I mean, crystal clear is kinda irrelevant when it’s dirty)
Like what you like, and to hell with everyone else who says differently.
My version (makes 2)
4 parts gin
2 parts vodka
1 part vermouth
Olive garnish.
Someone asked Sinatra what the proper number of olives in a martini was:
“Two. One for you and one for the blonde that just walked in the door.”
Well, if you make 2, it’s makes 2.
drink whatcha want
but blondes: don’t get it at all
Sometimes I can tell immediately if a blonde is natural or not. If I find her attractive she’s definitely not a natural. I’ve got a pretty clear run of brunettes.
Back in the day, I was taught that an even number of garnishes in a martini was considered bad luck. I’ve never cared enough to hunt down the source for that though.
I’ve seen that too. Use either 1 or 3.
I’ve got a weird feeling that in one of the Iron Man movies, Pepper asks for a Martini with two olives, and maybe that’s supposed to fisheries foreshadow the bad dude.
Fisheries. Okay.
Two olives and a lemon twist. Hold the gin, hold the vermouth. A splash of ice water so it looks like a drink. Chug a beer in the men’s room stall.
even number
it’s just good design
same with roses or pretty much anything else
so, say, with five, you center the middle one (on the point you want attention, not any other geometry), figure the a width that works on both sides, and split the difference for two and four . . . . voila
this makes a similar point
The rule of thirds with olives in a fancy glass?
If I am drinking cocktails, and if they are not brown, then I like a martini. Dirty, wet, olives. I could care less about shaken vs. stirred.
But, the inimitable Dorothy Parker:
I like a Martini
Two at the most
three I am under the table
Four I am under my host
Martinis are like breasts: one is not enough and three are too many.
“…three are too many.”
I like what I like!
I know a guy who claims to have 4 nipples. I’ve never seen him shirtless, though.
IIRC Krusty the Klown has a “famous superfluous third nipple”.
Wow, very racist against Martian whores.
I’ll stick with bourbon and beer. Interesting piece, though. Didn’t know that about Bond and the whole “shaken, not stirred,” thing, but having read Fleming’s Bond books, it’s not surprising.
The James Bond in the books was a lot more interesting than the James Bond of the movies.
Boy howdy, he sure was. Fleming, as I recall, actually knew something of that world.
Shaking chills the martini better. Therefore, shaken, not stirred.
Preach it!
Start with gin from the freezer and skip the damn ice altogether.
Also, my cheap-assed lazy martini
Slug of gin
Two or three vermouth-infused olives.
I like a traditional martini. I also like variations such as dirty, pickle instead of olive, or twist of lemon.
I’ll give ya a dirty pickle.
Drinking this gin right now, neat. It’s not my fave by any stretch of the imagination (that honour is reserved for Gin Mare), but it’s different and makes a very unusual-looking Martini, amongst other gin-based drinks. Quite colourful.
Which segues nicely into one of my favourite skits from the old Wayne & Shuster comedy specials — Gluteus Maximus, Rome’s Greatest Undercover Agent, enters a bar:
GM: Bartender! Give me a martinus!
Bartender: Don’t you mean “martini”?
GM: Listen, bub, if I want more than one I’ll ask for ’em.
?♀️
?
I wish I was still in NoVa to get my favorite gin: https://kodistilling.com/battle-standard-142-navy-strength-gin/
Tip for a very dry Martini
Add a bit of vermouth to the glass, swirl it around to coat the inside, then discard.
Fill the glass with chilled gin.
Add olives.
It’s the “discard” part of those instructions that’ve always raised my hackles. You’re throwing away good booze!
That’s alcohol abuse. If you don’t want the vermouth, just hold the vermouth bottle in your hand while swig the gin.
I like a 6:1 Gin/Vodka to vermouth myself. Slightly dirty w/1 Manzanilla.
I have a vague memory of an old Army buddy telling me his favorite way of making a martini – pour a glass of chilled gin, add a couple of olives, and walk it past the vermouth bottle.
That’s my go to.
I like a martini when waiting for a train.
Like desperados?
I’ll take one.
There’s several stories floating around that the reason that Ian Fleming had Bond order his Martinis shaken, not stirred was as a subtle nod that he was an uncultured brute who wouldn’t fit into the upper class he was trying to blend into.
Interesting.
Oo – I haven’t tried that.
I will check in later with the results.
Just don’t order it at a bar/restaurant. They dump way too much in.
Go easy — the brine can be overpowering.
Yep, I’m sure.
PS. I’ve never tried shaken either. In fact, the only drinks I have shaken are drinks with egg.
I figured everyone knows that. I’m uncultured swine from the backend of America and I know that.
Was never big on martinis, so kind of ignorant of that stuff.
The gin goes in the glass and the glass goes to the mouth and the gin goes in the tummy and the tummy tells the brain that everything is going to be okay.
^^
I lol’d
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/02/20/us/texas-storm-electric-bills.html
Speaking of drinking, people must be protected from the consequences of their decisions.
A martini has a trio of ingredients.
Tacoma represent! Those guys are really good.
Mrs. Frankelson drinks them with no vermouth and with an absurd amount of olive juice.
How’s her blood pressure? 🙂
Neph, I really enjoy these. You are a student of cocktails. Good stuff.
Working a Dean’s Own margarita right now.
This^. Useful nerd stuff.
If I have a bad habit, I prefer to do it well.
Glad that you’re enjoying them.
Can’t remember very clearly, but did Brett drink the contents of his lava lamp yesterday? Maybe it was a dream. All I know is that muh commute this morning was ruff.
Yes…with sugar on the rim
That makes it … better?
Huh. I was listening to some music today that was described as the inside of a lava lamp.
Coincidence?
I think not!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YgWnrIC8X-k&t=1382s
OMG that sounds like stomach-pumping time.
I’m sure what it was. Could’ve been runoff from Smurfette’s Summer’s Eve.
I think I saw “Smurfette’s Summer’s Eve” open for the Indigo Girls once
Yes.
The dude chugged what seemed to be at least 1/4 bottle of Blue Curaçao with sugar on the rim of the glass.
And I mean chugged.
Blue Curaçao > lava lamp juice?
Got my taxes done. Slid some money into an IRA to get a small refund. Done.
Stopped for Mexican on the way home. Dinner was fucking delicious, but a lil carby.
Had 2 vodka martinis with a twist. The first had a big more vermouth than I like, he made the second better after I commented.
Drink before and while doing your taxes.
I’ll drink lots before April 15th, I assure you.
I have an accountant.
I’ve heard of those. I’m not rich or industrious enough to make use of one though.
He’s just using a euphemism for “parole officer”.
Oooh. Is she hawt, I wonder?
Looking for an accountant: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebajv8mjPTo
I’m not interested in paying an accountant unless he’s an aspie with a minigun mounted in his garage window.
*sits twiddling thumbs, waiting for the state of VA to get a 1099 to me*
I hate doing taxes during an out-of-state move year. They’re always a mess.
When I moved out of PA to NH, I was happy to fill out my last PA tax return.
Except that when I filled out the return, I found I owed $1.02.
I decided to pay it, and not with a package of pennies, since I planned to go back to PA to visit friends and family.
Can’t believe this hasn’t been linked.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2IBmqZu9cjs
Wrong song.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rGFSljyAbvs
Cool bit of Bond lore Neph. I can believe it as that was the vibe that Fleming was going for from the character.
I have never had a martini. A teenage bad experience with gin and a fierce aversion to tonic water has left that spirit completely on the shelf for me. I am more of a beer and occasional whiskey or bourbon cocktail guy. For a while I was drinking a fair amount of Palomas, which is a fabulous drink if you have tequila and grapefruit around, extra salt for me. When I worked at a bar my first week a regular came in and asked for a martini. I made him one with that classic ratio and he was not impressed, although when I asked him if I could remake it for him he refused. He didn’t specify dry, but did say that even though that was the classic ratio that modern bartenders typically made a huge regular martini with 4 or 5 parts gin to 1 of dry vermouth. A dry martini might get a rinse of vermouth as BH referred to above and an extra dry would have a bottle of vermouth clinked against the glass.
Don’t know why “huge” went in front of regular up there.
An entire Twitter dedicated to Taco Bell.
https://mobile.twitter.com/NeilHamburger
You sir need to make a post about the shochu highball.
Shochu is sake’s mentally handicapped younger brother.
The grocery store stopped carrying sake. WTF. Could you get your people on that?
FFS.
It’s actually hard to find good sake varieties even in metro NYC area. There is one wine store here that has a good selection.
Hell, I don’t want a good selection, I just want a bottle of Gekkeikan (?)
Our local bottle shop (Liquor Wine Warehouse in Belle Harbor, Queens) just added a whole shelving section for bottled sake and a new reefer for canned chilled sake. The popularity seems to be on the rise.
I actually like both.
Given the choice most times I’d take the sake though. But not always.
Back in the 70’s it was actually pretty good.
“I’ll take a spicy Enchirito, a Bell Burger, and an order of Pintos and Cheese”
One time for TNT we thought we’d do TB, 25 tacos, 25 soft tacos.
We started to load up on taco sauce and the manager pitched a bitch
“Hey, not so many!”
“We use two packets for each taco, therefore 100 packets.”
“You are allowed one packet for two tacos.”
Never went back. Never did TNT grub there again, never went back on my own. Now, with the new owners, never even had a desire to go back. Plenty of cheap mexi-grub around here.
deadhead is posting up in the last thread. Maybe it’s time for a reunion? I promise I don’t have the vid, but I’d share if I did.
Love to do it but we are leaving Thursday to go back to Montana for two months. In May we will be back for about two weeks, then off to Michigan and then, hopefully, to Alaska.
Maybe we can get together in May one afternoon. Would be good to see you guys again.
Everyone is fleeing the state.
We are seriously looking at moving to MT. Would love to buy Mom’s place on the river but I don’t think that we would be able to afford it.
There’s some nice riverfront properties in South Dakota… apparently you have to live with mountains of snow and going Jack Torrance crazy every year, but it seems okay other than that…
And they get humidity? Really? That’s the one thing I love about New Mexico, we have no humidity
We have finally gotten Mom to consider an Assisted Living home in ABQ. We are nearby, as are two of our daughters and a niece. If she is here then we pretty much are prevented from moving there.
Once we no longer have our mothers to take care of then we’re up for moving away from this increasingly hard blue state. Montana, Idaho, SoDak, and even Wyoming and Utah are on our list. Pretty much going to stay in the Rocky Mountain states.
I don’t mind isolation, I like snow and don’t mind cold. Keep me away from humidity and I’m good.
You and my dad could chat. He’s taking care of grandma up north near Abiquiu and facing the same problems.
I’m in.
See above. Perhaps in May? Hopefully things will be open by then.
I first saw that dude’s act in 2005. I saw him a couple more times, last time maybe 2015, and it hadn’t changed much at all, but it was still fresh.
“Why did Madonna have one of her backing dancers defecate in her mouth? Well, she’s a single woman now.”
So, today while trying to be clever, I went ass-over-teakettle off of my back porch. I was trying to throw something away without getting my socks wet and thought I could get to the trash can from behind. Of course, the thing rolls out from under me, and I go sprawling. I don’t think anyone saw me, but you never know about neighbors…
Fortunately, no broken bones, which is a worry a 50. Just a scraped palm.
Exactly why Western just leaves it in a pile inside.
Just a scraped palm.
Could be the vid. Better quarantine for 14 days just to be safe.
I vacillate between Vaseline and Valvoline on Valentine’s.
This makes me laugh so hard. The defeat is palpable.
Been there.
With those great tits?
I keed, I keed. I hope she’s legal.
By which I mean I hope she’s a legal resident, and not an illegal alien. #Trump2024 #rebuildthewall
Failing at anything, even better, failing at everything, will get you elected to Congress.
I’d vote for the girl who miscues Tears For Fears over the former bartender who pretended to cry about a cop checking in on her staff.
Newest member of the Squad, newest NYT super hero.
Now that I feel thoroughly shamed for my vodka martinis, I tried it with Sapphire. Not bad. Maybe the vodka is the reason I normally use more like 5 splashes of brine to add flavor?
Thanks for the very fun articles Neph!
There is nothing wrong with vodka martinis.
I may be an uncultured heathen, but I prefer the vodka.
Time for the woke to fuck off and die.
https://www.foxbusiness.com/lifestyle/disney-slaps-the-muppet-show-with-offensive-content-disclaimer
Before playing the music and lighting the lights, fans who choose to binge “The Muppet Show” on Disney+ will be shown an “offensive content” warning ahead of select episodes. The classic series, which first aired in 1976, was released on the streaming service on Friday.
“This program includes negative depictions and/or mistreatment of people or cultures. These stereotypes were wrong then and are wrong now. Rather than remove this content, we want to acknowledge its harmful impact, learn from it and spark conversation to create a more inclusive future together,” the disclaimer states. “Disney is committed to creating stories with inspirational and aspirational themes that reflect the rich diversity of the human experience around the globe.”
Variety reported the disclaimer has been added to a total of 18 episodes throughout the show’s five seasons, including those guest hosted by Jim Nabors, Joel Grey, Steve Martin, Peter Sellers, Cleo Laine, James Coco, Spike Milligan, Crystal Gayle, Kenny Rogers, Beverly Sills, Jonathan Winters, Alan Arkin, James Coburn, Joan Baez, Johnny Cash, Debbie Harry, Wally Boag and Marty Feldman. The disclaimer appears at the beginning of these episodes for 12 seconds.
The label has been added to each video for a different reason. For example, during Cash’s epsiode, the legendary music star sings in front of a Confederate flag.
It’s been way past that time for a very long time.
Time for the woke to fuck off and die
And now it’s metastasized into corporate fascism. Ugh. Even Coke is getting in on the grift.
These stereotypes were wrong then and are wrong now.
Was it really considered “wrong” back then? Not even revisionist. They are just making shit up.
The Mouse is the Enemy.
I see the Swedish Defense League has finally gotten some results from its lobbying.
Uh, none of the above? Thanks though to whoever suggested a splash of gin in tomato soup. Didn’t hurt anyway; still have about 25 mL to experiment with.
That sounds like me. I really, really like a little dollop of gin in tomato soup, particularly if you can roast a couple of extra tomatoes and whiz ’em into the soup. Sublime!
I’ll have to try that
This only only sorta true. It will definitely have some water deep in that wouldn’t otherwise there, but there is still the same amount of alcohol, which is what matters.
And it won’t even mix much water in. I’d bet the taste between the two is imperceptible assuming you used the same exact amount of every ingredient.
I just mixed a shaken and it’s more watery than I would like.
Fair enough!
I like Daiquiri and Mijito and Margaritas.
and Moscow Mule too.
You read my mind. Or else you’re looking in my kitchen window…
A bartender once made me a daiquiri with smoke flavoring, and he asked if I could guess the wood used for the smoke flavor. I told him it was delicious, but I couldn’t guess the wood. So he told me:
“That’s a hickory daiquiri, doc!”
*clears throat*.
He’s back, baby! Hey Doc! Glad to see you posting some corny-ass joke. I hope you’re feeling better. Seeing you here makes me feel better.
I choose to believe that actually happened.
Hope you’re on the mend, Doc.
I can appreciate a good Martini, but it’s never going to be my favorite drink. I still experiment, though. Maybe a softer gin than Beefeater?
Good vermouth also helps. Someone once told me that the vermouth that goes in your Martini should taste good enough to drink straight. Also, apparently vermouth has a shelf life of about 3-4 months once you crack the cap, so maybe I should toss that bottle of Martini & Rossi that my parents got me for my 35th birthday?
Anyway, tonight I broke out the copper mugs and made Moscow Mules. 2oz. Titos, 1/2oz. Cointreau, juice of half a lime, ice, top it up with Q ginger beer. Perfect.
I believe it because the martini I made earlier tasted like crap. My vermouth has been sitting in the fridge for like six months.
Vermouth lasts that long?
No.
What brand of vermouth? It might not have been exactly world-class even if it was fresh.
You’re not gonna make a great Manhattan with Kentucky Beau…
Martini & Rossi.
To be fair, it tasted a little off before I said WTF and decided to use it anyway.
Either it or the gin gave me a nasty headache to boot.
Beefeater tastes like Aqua Net smells.
*shrug* Beefeater is the perfect London Dry gin, as far as I’m concerned. I don’t care for Tanqueray or Bombay Sapphire, but I have once killed an entire 1.75L handle of Beefeater, by myself, over the course of a four-day weekend. This was with the assistance of a case of tonic water, though.
All kidding aside, thanks for this series Neph.
Good article, Neph. I still like my martinis to be dry, very dry, a shot of chilled vodka. Don’t like a smooth vodka like Grey Goose or Belvedere. Prefer a boozy gut punch like Smirnoff. Olives. Drink.
Tonight it’s Jim Beam and Perrier and cooking dinner.
Well finished with the renno work for the day
https://ibb.co/JvgfCL
New blocks and boxes are in. Just need to run cable, move the phone outside, finish putting in the batts, and then hang the drywall. Should be done by Christmas at this rate.
https://ibb.co/JvgfCLf
Nicely insulated.
I don’t care for martinis, but I knew enough to order one at the Persian Aub Zam Zam I’m Haight Street so I could stay and watch the show.
https://sfbaytripper.com/2011/10/07/aub-zam-zam-an-upper-haight-original/
That’s a great bar, I’ve spent a few afternoons and evenings there imbibing spirits.
Have you ever been to the Hyde Out on the corner of California and Hyde? That’s my favorite bar in the city. Small, decent juke, and a little upstairs to go drink in.
No, I have driven past it a thousand times though and it looks like a cool spot. I hope that these type places will be left here after a year of shutdowns and counting here. I don’t get out to bars like I did in the before kids days, but I still love a good drink in a nice location, and it is one of the perks of city living. Maybe that can be the location of the next Glibs SF meet up whenever the hell that can happen.
I’ll let you know next time I come down from Oregon. We fled the bay 4-5 years ago, but my best friend still lives in the Sunset. The only family I have down there now is my cousin in Napa, and I wouldn’t mind seeing her.
Damn I love San Francisco. I love getting drunk in San Francisco. I love eating and drinking in San Francisco.
I’ve had some wild times there. Some with good friends, sometimes with strangers…
The first time I visited San Francisco was in May 1994. I was a degenerate drug addict and specialized in creating a scene and getting thrown out of places. I’m much better now.
Heheh. For the size of this place it has always punched above its weight in the fun eating and drinking places. It’s really getting a serious beat down right now. I’m especially sad that I think the divey type places, that have managed to hang on through high rents and change of population in the before times, will not be coming back. I’d love to knock back a few and talk about music and funny shit with you if you are around in town and it gets back open. Back in the mid 90’s I played drums in a band that played in a bunch of dives and bars around the City and the Peninsula. Morty’s, the Last Day Saloon, Boomerang, Bottom of the Hill, and the Hotel Utah and the like. Fun days. Hope we see some more.
There are also a ton of great bars in Berkeley on San Pablo; The Ivy Room, the Albatross and a couple more out in El Cerrito. I was more of an east bay kinda guy as mom was from Albany, although my dad was born in the city. But he grew up in the hell that is Stockton.
“ Fun days. Hope we see some more.”
Yes. Cheers, brother!
Cheers to both of you. I’ve been to both of those Zwak. I lived in Oakland for a couple years. We used to go a lot to the bars on Piedmont Ave as we lived a half mile away on the wrong side of 580. The Kerry Club and Egbert Souse’s. We used to love getting smashed around the piano with Rod Dibble at the Alley. There were a couple other bars around Grand Lake that we hit a lot, and then downtown Oakland dives. We once went on a dive crawl to black bars on the Oakland part of Telegraph. That was interesting. We barely received service at the Bird Cage. After the second drink we were told to get the fuck out.
Yeah, most of the dive bar people I have known wouldn’t go near that part of Oakland. And I have no idea about the bars in the deep east. International gets a bit hairy after dark.
Deep east Oakland can be more than a bit hairy. We weren’t touching the bars on International, at least at that time just at the millennium. We recorded at a guy’s studio way out there in the mid 90’s and it was a downright scary area. For a while I would drink in some dives in the TL in SF for the weird happenings.
Courtesy of Malice
https://twitter.com/madonna/status/1362934554647003137?s=21
She has guzzled enough toxic masculinity over the years.
#iamcrazy #helpme
It’s men’s fault I’m a shallow thinking exploiter of the newest incarnation of collectivism.
Lol
#iveagedout
#payattentiontomeeeeeee
“I’m still relevant, right? …RIGHT?”
“The Patriarchy continues to try to crush my neck with their heavy boots, cut off my life force and take away my voice”
Considering how unsuccessful they’ve been so far, it sounds like the patriarchy’s boots are on their last legs.
You could read that? Sounds like authentic frontier gibberish to me.
She’s not Joe Biden. “Truinterment nashana preshoil”.
The whole video is worth a watch but I’ve queued up the clip at the line that perfectly epitomizes why I like Viva Frei so much. https://youtu.be/4TG2a6ja2x8?t=398
That whole video was great. Thx
Yeah, he’s pretty good, and that was a good argument. He’s also on Bitchute, which has been getting much better with its’ streaming feeds speeds.
My small part: I’m spending my drinking and dining money in places that don’t follow the Covid rules. Also I am banned from having guests in my apartment so I am inviting anyone who wants to come over.
I haven’t cut myself cooking in years. I go to start the simple task of breaking down my cabbage for slaw, and I poke myself in the root of my index finger. Of course it’s a bleeder that takes effort to get under control. Once it was clean before the final bandaging the cut itself was tiny, three eighths of an inche long and negligable width.
Then I go and knock the open jar of mayonnaise on the floor.
I’m unhappy.
Could’ve been worse, you could have gotten mayonnaise on your food.
“Put it on a plate, son, it’ll taste better”.
Couldn’t enjoy it any more, mom. This is swell.
I can’t say anything that will take away your unhappiness, but I can solve your chopping issues – buy a blender. Also, Hellman’s has a lot of mayo squeeze bottles.
Blenders are worse than useless.
And a half head of cabbage doesn’t fit even in the large bowl for my food processor. It’s basic knife work to break down a cabbage. As I said, I haven’t cut myself in years before this. It’ll probably be years before it happens again.
I’m sorry if I’m cantankerous right now. Please don’t take it as anything but grousing.
The slaw is done, with 0% blood content.
No problem, I didn’t take it personally.
Also, reading below, I found out that cabbage is an ingredient in borscht. I’d thought it was all just beets.
Borscht has beets, cabbage, carrots, potatos, and a variety of other ingredients depending upon whether you’re talking to a Ukranian, a Russian, or a Pole.
Yeah, I looked up a recipe on Allrecipes.com, and got a much greater understanding of why it’s edible, and even sought after.
I have some leftover, since one stock pot is a lot for one person. Hope I can finish it before it goes bad.
Sorry about the cut. It does always seem as if the tiniest cuts are the biggest bleeders. ::thinks of hazards of leg shaving::
As for the mayo, maybe the universe was trying to tell you to order up some of this.
I just needed to use the cabbage and not let it go rotten in the fridge. I don’t make enough slaw to order that. I only bought the cabbage for the borscht.
How goes things with you?
Very well, thanks. Happily, my beloved cordless Dyson survived its ignominious stint as a shop vac, and I’m enjoying an entertaining book. (Part way through Part 24.)
Also, I have Wednesday through Friday off this week. Woo hoo!
Enjoy the time off. Even if you don’t go anywhere.
Any specific feedback?
(and I’m glad the vac survived)
I’ll e you in more detail tomorrow, but having just finished the scene in the cemetery, let me just say that I adore this hero.
I’d have paused and sent you some feedback sooner, but I just didn’t want to stop reading! (That’s good.) By turns happy and shocked by how certain subplots have been resolved.
And on that note, I’m off to bed. Good night!
Night.
Sucks about the cut – always annoyed with myself when I do something like that.
Did you go with one of the slaws from the article I linked to, or just a basic one?
It was thrown together – mayo, mustard, sour cream, vinegar, salt, pepper, whatever herbs and half the savory spices I could find in the cabinet.
That’s a lotta stuff for a slaw! What’s the verdict?
It works. Though for a while before I mixed it I was afraid I had too many herbs. Thankfully there was enough cabbage volume for the seasoning.
Was it artisanal mayonnaise?
I never got this particular running gag.
Monday, well, Hello Glibbies, hows the day so far?
Morning Yusef.
I haven’t wanted pistol whip anyone yet…so good so far?
Good morning, Yu & Sean. Barring unforeseen circumstances, I only have to work two days this week! ::does happy dance:: Today, set up three new hires in payroll system (if they all show up) and cover a few tasks for Reliable Co-worker who took Friday and today off. Tomorrow, finish up the final details of the new hires’ set-up (because SOMEBODY always fails to bring enough ID for their I-9 the first day) and let Reliable Co-worker get caught up before he has to cover for me while I’M off.
It’s been so long since I had to file an I-9 that I forget how much ID is required.
I’m glad you have a reliable coworker to cover the end of the week.
My supervisor has to take three weeks of the next four off to avoid losing leave time. So I’ll be covering for him.
The usual ID combo is driver’s license (or equivalent) and SS card (or birth certificate, I believe,) but a current passport alone will suffice.
https://www.wfmz.com/news/area/southeastern-pa/montco-authorities-seek-teen-suspect-in-deadly-bowling-alley-shooting/article_1a80daac-73dc-11eb-924e-d728cc3a5fc8.html
Still no arrests. Mighty fine police work there, Lou.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oi3Gv1udO5Y
?
https://news.yahoo.com/robots-reception-south-african-hotel-101338987.html
Yeah, but can you fuck them?
https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/megan-fox-slams-viral-fake-tweet-claiming-she-doesnt-wear-face-masks-174914056.html
Only 34? She looks older than that.
Wow, she changed, still pretty but kinda, worn?
Budget Olivia Munn
By the way 34 isn’t all that old, this year I’m finally gonna make it, fuck all the doubters, this year is my year
Blech. If I looked half as good as Megan Fox I’d be selling my body for change.
Chicks have it easy. You wonder why we don’t respect you? That’s why. You have it altogether too easy. You’re life on easy mode.
Morning, Glibs.
Morning, not good.
My first morning unemployed in awhile.
I haven’t been fired but I’m angling.
I’m going to work for myself.
By which I mean I’m going to starve to death in a ditch.
I can lose the weight.
Fired? 🙁
oh, you haven’t been fired. I’m tired.
It’s early where you are.
Hey, bud, someone got paid to dig that ditch, which means you can get paid to fill it back in, and then dig another one! That’s what stimulates the economy!
Not do fast, bucko.
The ditch-filler’s union is a different entity from the ditch-digger’s union.
I’m going to have to see your membership cards before we can even put you on a waiting list to be consitered for an opening, if one becomes available. Don’t forget, if your dues lapse, you fall off the list and get to start all over again.
I’ll do it. I’ll do it. I’ll fill in the fucking pit, I’ll do it for eight bucks an hour. Please hire me
I quit I quit I shouldn’t have quit I quit I’m quite certain I quit I AM DONE I QUIT
That’s a funny word, quit. Quite quietly subtle is the word quit, q is at the end of the alphabet, it’s quite unappreciated, qan we all take a moment to appreciate the letter q
Was there a precipitating incident? Or just too many smaller things?
Precipitating is a word I love.
Not a q in the word. Perspicacious. Another lovely word. Piquant, that’s a lovely q word. Pepper that into your dialogue, people will appreciate it. P is awfully overrepresented
I should have been a pair of ragged claws
scuttling across the floors of silent seas
I think I’m breaking down, Q just looks weird now, I mean it was always weird but it’s absurd, have you looked at it recently?
No I’m just drunk at five in the morning. I hate my job but so does everyone. Thank God I don’t have a wife or kids, but on the other than I understand that they would make life worth living.
Not having dependents gives you more options, including the fuck it all one.
Ugggh. According to a local TV station’s website, there’s an accident on the interstate along my route to work. Guess I’d best try to leave early so I can avoid it. : (
🙁
“Most successful small businesses can pay a fair wage. If you look at the minimum wage, it increased with worker productivity until 1968, and that relationship was severed. If workers were actually getting paid for the value they were creating, it would be up to $23.”
https://www.breitbart.com/clips/2021/02/21/dem-rep-khanna-we-dont-want-small-businesses-that-cant-afford-15-minimum-wage/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+breitbart+%28Breitbart+News%29
Old and busted, 15 bucks an hour: The new thing, 23 bucks an hour. Do you want ninety percent of small businesses to fail? Ask me how to achieve it in one easy step.
The war on small businesses continues unabated.
Come on, man. It’s not like workers and employers could arrive at the value they create on their own. That kind of sorcery is what the government is best at.
If government doesn’t pick winners & losers, then the fucking unwashed people will pick the wrong ones! That can’t be allowed happen. They are not credentialed and smart like the top men!
That’s the problem, voluntary transactions between individuals including the buying and selling of labor cuts the government skimmers out of the decision making process and we can’t have that.
I was doing my taxes this weekend on Turbotax (I owe the feds cause there is no fucking way I let them keep my money and send it to me later) and this year they asked if you bought or sold any cryptocurrency. Fuck all if I would EVER tell these douchebags if I was doing that. I suspect nobody sane would either. This is just another attempt to fucking get their grubby hands on money. I bet they pull that India trick of printing new bills and demanding people come in to exchange the money so they can then tax the fuck out of us again too sooner than later…
When I do a martini, I pour in the gin, then wave the vermouth bottle over it, pour some olive or little white cocktail onion juice from the jar, add my toothpick with the olives/onions into it, and go my merry way. I use the vermouth for cooking.
Stir gin with ice (or shake it, who am I to judge), strain, add olive
I keep my gin bottle right in the freezer so I can avoid that watering down thing…