The Hat and The Hair Animated Feb Announcement!

by | Feb 28, 2021 | Hat and Hair | 233 comments

HEY, it’s new and it’s content! AND, it’s longer than some of the other cartoons.

Now discuss the philosophical underpinnings of Goethe or some shit.

About The Author

CPRM

CPRM

Organic troll farmer.

233 Comments

  1. Count Potato

    YAY! New content!

  2. The Hyperbole

    This is some bullshit right here!!

    • Ted S.

      Yes, Hyperbole’s comments are bullshit. ;-P

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Bullshit, just like You Ted,

      • hayeksplosives

        Are we doing schoolyard insults?

        “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.”—said no one younger than Generation Xers.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.”—said no one younger than Generation Xers.

        This.

  3. Count Potato

    “Now discuss the philosophical underpinnings of Goethe or some shit.”

    It’s mostly just dressing in black and industrial music.

    • zwak

      In Sacramento, they pronounce it Gay-tee!

  4. westernsloper

    Goethe? Hat: “lets goethe McDonalds.”

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Larf

    • zwak

      Sloper, from the last thread;
      I get you on the back issues. Mine is about the same it sounds like, numbness and tingling. I was a tech for the phone company, and the wife was always afeared that I would fall off a utility pole. Nope, I fell in a hole in a parking garage. Landed on the rim of a steel plate at about my L5-L6 discs. Had a six-hour-long surgery where they pulled bone fragments out of my spinal collum. The fun part is they couldn’t figure out why I was healing so slow, but if they had the MRI six inches further up my spine they would have found the MS.

      Three door, I am about an hour south of Portland.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Glad that didn’t happen to you. Burning a pole is bad enough.

        Come to think of it, I knew a tech that was also diagnosed with MS. Just before he retired, he had an incident where he was up a ladder and locked up. Luckily didn’t fall off and was able to get down after a bit.

      • Threedoor

        So not in total crazytown. I’m in the Lewiston ID area. Do the occasional job on th I5 corridor.

  5. Count Potato

    Speaking of February, anyone notice there was nothing about Black History Month this year?

    • Ted S.

      TCM had a spotlight on notable performances by black actors and actresses, while looking through the box guide, I did see any number of other programming things over the course of the month.

    • Threedoor

      Every add on YouTube has been black for the last year.

    • Chafed

      You’re joking aren’t you?

      • rhywun

        Maybe he means “nothing here”. Do better, us.

    • The Hyperbole

      Are you kidding me, Soultown on SiriusXM played nothing but Motown all month!

    • db

      Uh, Etsy has been bombarding my e-mail with stuff about Black vendors and creators.

    • zwak

      Amazon dropped a film about Clarence Thomas I hear.

    • rhywun

      One of the channels I regularly watch was all, “we’re going to think about black history every minute, every day.” OK, then.

    • Trigger Hippie

      I fully expected it to be particularly heavy-handed this go around…I’m not really not upset about it though. The length of days are roughly proportioned to the population in relation to the days of a year(A little less, to be fair) and it’s the shortest, shittiest month of the year. If we have to play this game, black people drew the short straw in regards to symbolic bullshit as far as group of people’s “months” go.

      Go ahead and get the sanctimonious sermoning into full swing immediately after a lukewarm presidential victory. I’m sure that won’t go over like a ton of bricks by the next election cycle.

    • juris imprudent

      I can’t stand his delivery, so if there’s a transcript…

      • Fourscore

        Trump being Trump, you’ve probably been there before..

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Just limit your per word syllable count to two and repeat everything ad infinity. You get the idea.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Bah, autocorrect

  6. Count Potato

    “A Virginia school system has dropped Dr. Seuss from an annual event to encourage reading as district leaders accused the beloved author’s books having ‘strong racial undertones.’

    The Loudon County schools will shift the ’emphasis’ of the annual Read Across America day on March 2 away from Seuss and toward books more ‘inclusive and diverse and reflective of our student community,’ a spokesman said.

    Seuss, whose real name is Theodor Geisel, had been the face of the annual Read Across America day for more than 20 years. A report has accused his children’s stories of featuring ‘orientalism, anti-blackness and white supremacy’.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9309455/Now-Dr-Seuss-faces-cancel-Virginia-school-says-books-strong-racial-undertones.html

    The Cat in the MAGA Hat
    Horton Hears A Jew!
    Thidwick the Bleating-Heart Moose
    And to Think That I Saw Blacks on Mulberry Street
    How the Chinese Stole Christmas!

    • Ted S.

      The World War II stuff has anti-Japanese sentiment, but the rest of it?

      • Chafed

        Is people taking offense because they want to find something offensive.

      • LCDR_Fish

        The WW2 stuff was troop morale flicks not for public consumption. Private Snafu looks great on blu-ray.

    • rhywun

      Horton Hears A Jew!

      LOL

      I’ve been hearing this crap about Seuss for years but they never give any specifics.

    • hayeksplosives

      The Sneeches were absolutely about race, and the whole point was how very silly and wrong it is to divide up between star-bellied and non star-bellied sneeches.

      Is the half-black half whits STTOS episode next?

      • db

        The Sneetches was my favorite Suess book when I was a kid. 3-year-old me understood it as more about fashion and people trying to pose as things they’re not and the unhappiness they experience because of it. I think it really had an effect on me. I have always been really resistant to advertising and the whole “aspirational lifestyle” type stuff.

      • straffinrun

        The salesman was the real hero in that story.

      • db

        Pretty sure that’s what started my life-long aversion to people trying to sell me stuff.

      • straffinrun

        He’s like a guy that owned both a tattoo parlor and laser removal clinic.

    • Hank

      Charlie the Magic Chainsaw Versus the wimpy-ass Lorax

  7. limey

    Traveling at a constant 60mph, it would take 176 years, 312 days, 18 hours, and 40 minutes to travel one astronomical unit. Overall time dilation from a velocity of 60mph over such a distance has not been corrected for, nor has there been any correction for my inability to grasp general relativity.

    Hey CPRM I had a bad experience with Redbubble recently. They took down some of my work without explanation. I tried to get in contact with them but they still didn’t offer any explanation, but did eventually send me a link to a form in which I had to put my full name, address, phone number, etc, just to lodge some sort of appeal. I just gave up and closed my account at that point. There was no copyright infringement at all, and there was nothing political (although “everything is political now”). Garbage opaque, vague content policy and curation. Dislike very much.

    • CPRM

      Redbubble made me change the ‘Make America Great Again’ on the Hat (the versions on there say ‘Make Amerca Gerate Agin’ with tiny writing on the side that reads ‘Hecho en Venezuela por los chinos’). But they forwarded me the e-mail from a Trump Attorney, so I thought they handled that pretty well. That was a couple years ago, so might be new department heads and such now.

      • hayeksplosives

        You are making this up.

        Right?

      • CPRM

        Here is the design on RedBubble.

        I can go back through my emails and copy past it here, the thing I found amusing was the Trump attorney had a ‘russian’ name. heh.

      • CPRM

        Actually now that I think about it, I got the letter in the mail from the Trump Attorney, not e-mail…don’t remember where I put the letter.

        I did quote it in a comment at the time, which going back at looking at the e-mail from Redbubble was Dec 2019, but I don’t know how to search the comments on the archive sites.

      • limey

        Weird. Oh well.

        In my case I imagine someone reported it because for some odd reason they were offended by it, and this triggers the review process by default, or RB staff themselves took issue. I’ll never know, but it was my biggest seller and now it’s gone.

  8. Count Potato

    “Boston Public Schools Suspends Test For Advanced Learning Classes; Concerns About Program’s Racial Inequities Linger

    A district analysis of the program found that more than 70 percent of students enrolled in the program were white and Asian, even though nearly 80 percent of all Boston public school students are Hispanic and Black.

    School Committee member Lorna Rivera said at a January meeting that she was disturbed by the findings, noting that nearly 60 percent of fourth graders in the program at the Ohrenberger school in West Roxbury are white even though most third graders enrolled at the school are Black and Hispanic.

    “This is just not acceptable,” Rivera said at a recent school committee meeting. “I’ve never heard these statistics before, and I’m very very disturbed by them.””

    https://www.wgbh.org/news/education/2021/02/26/citing-racial-inequities-boston-public-schools-suspend-advanced-learning-classes

    • rhywun

      I’ve never heard these statistics before,

      *ahem*

      Bullshit.

      • Ted S.

        I’ve heard them before, but only because drugs are falling out of Count Potato’s ass. :-p

      • rhywun

        Well, maybe she means this specific set of statistics. But this situation has been well-known and not talked about by anybody for decades.

    • hayeksplosives

      I read another version of this that left me with the impression that there had been a number of non-white & Asian students who qualified but did not enroll

      They’ve obscured the stats: they look at students enrolled in the advanced program vs students in the district at large.

      No indication of actual numbers of qualifying kids, enrolled kids. Etc.

      • hayeksplosives

        Also we see that pesky “Asian” category again.

        Why come they keep excelling in a western country dominated by WASPs?

        Cant they just get back on the plantation with the other PoCs?

        In seriousness, there seems to be increasing use of “North Asian” to describe Chinese and Mongolian peoples. Not sure what the angle is there, but it’s coming.

      • Ted S.

        I’d think Han Chinese are East Asian anyway.

        If memory serves, in the UK “Asian” generally means from former British India, not the rest of Asia.

      • zwak

        Yes, and the British use Oriental for far eastern peoples.

      • rhywun

        So did the US until it became racist around 1990, when everyone was supposed to pivot to “Asian”.

        I’ve heard that anything with “Eastern” is now racist, too. Because “Eastern” = “bad” and “Western” = “good” or some happy horseshit.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Asians are just White People now.

        Much like Jews and the Irish, they assimilated too well to be considered a political tool for perpetual grievance mongers.

  9. DEG

    I look forward to the new content.

    • Animal

      Stay tuned.

    • Fourscore

      What a nice surprise, CPRM. I will be waiting, but don’t take too long.

      “Time’s a-wastin’!”

      /Snuffy Smith. The Mountain Smith boy

      • C. Anacreon

        Snuffy Smith’s cousin was Barney Google, with the goo-goo-googly eyes.

  10. Count Potato

    “#Antifa force @PortlandPolice to retreat during the riot overnight in NW Portland. Police resources were strained & delayed during the street violence because of multiple shootings across city they had to respond to. #PortlandRiots”

    https://twitter.com/MrAndyNgo/status/1365961194339782656

    What a shithole.

      • rhywun

        Portland has been Antifa Central for decades.

      • zwak

        Yeah, I have a friend who lives in Milwaukie, which isn’t nearly as bad being its basically a suburb. But it’s in Crackermass county, and they don’t seem to put up with the same level of Bullshit.

  11. db

    LCDR_Fish:

    You can definitely reload some steel cased ammo. It works really well for the Wolf .45 ACP and I have even reloaded their .223 and .308, but you can only do it once or twice before you have to worry about the steel cases cracking They don’t spring back as well as brass upon firing, so you put more work into them when resizing, and eventually the metal work hardens more quickly. Because they have that polymer or lacquer coating, you can’t anneal them.

    You also have to make sure they’re Boxer primed, obviously.

    • LCDR_Fish

      Not sure what boxer primed means.

      The ammo i just ordered is “made in russia” so I guess we’ll see if the quality is the same as wolf or other us brands.

      I enjoyed the articles before but I haven’t yet given much thought to reloading given my space – maybe in a few years when I can move out to the middle of nowhere.

      • Stillhunter

        Two kinds of primers. Berdan and boxer. Berdan are difficult to remove. It sometimes says on the box or the description when buying.

      • Stillhunter

        Also, depending on how much you want to reload, you can use a pretty small space. A bench to mount the press and do the work is all, really. You could even make it a temporary out using a block of wood and a clamp if you can’t have a dedicated bench spot. I made a small square bench (2’x2’)just for this 20 some years ago when I started.

      • Stillhunter

        Ugh …temporary *mount*…

  12. Count Potato

    “The furniture industry has been allowed to self-regulate for too long—& with tragic consequences, as a child is injured by tipped furniture every 17 minutes.
    Passing the STURDY Act would enact strong furniture stability standards to prevent deadly tip-overs & protect children.”

    https://twitter.com/SenBlumenthal/status/1365336011593707520

    CWAA

    • db

      You can’t be serious.

      “Let him pull it down on his head a few times–He’ll learn!”

      • Fourscore

        “He’ll never do that again”

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      My prayers, answered

    • creech

      Sounds far more dangerous to children than, say, allowing them to attend school.

  13. db

    Hayeksplosives: I noted you mentioned the Fall of Civilizations Podcast the other day and have really enjoyed watching them. I’ve had them on while working in the shop, and find myself rewinding frequently so I don’t miss stuff.

    He likes to tie everything to climate change, but it is fairly undeniable that past civilizational upsets have been caused by climate change. What that means to me is that climate change happens relatively frequently (like, several times within our recorded history, which isn’t even a blink of the eye geologically). He also mentions something about wealth inequality in the Khmer Empire one, which made me roll my eyes to a dangerous degree, but it was easy to gloss over because it was at the end of the episode and more of an assertion than anything he was trying to prove with evidence, which makes it easy to ignore, IMO.

    • dontreadonme

      Yeah I just watched all of them as well. Very well done IMO. I didn’t mind the climate change examples at all since to yiur point it shows that there have been numerous changes over the last 10,000 years with significant impact on civilizations. So adapt, move, or die. Or do like the ancient greenies and sacrifice members of the other tribes to the sun god. The carbon tax will have a similar result.

  14. commodious spittoon

    These John Wick movies are a little graphic.

    • Count Potato

      The first one is great.

    • CPRM

      That’s the whole point.

      • commodious spittoon

        They’re pretty entertaining, but the world makes no sense. Is their entire underground economy based on assassination?

      • CPRM

        It’s written and directed by stunt guys, the fact that it has any sort of logic at all is a blessing.

      • Tulip

        THAT’S why?! I never knew that. Explains a lot. Thanks.

      • Count Potato

        EVERYBODY WAS GUN FU FIGHTING.

      • limey
      • CPRM
      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        No. There are doctors, babysitters, bars, and hotels in the model too.

    • Hank

      I got to the part where [SPOILER] the entire Assassins’ Guild* put out a hit on him for conducting an assassination at Guild headquarters. There’s supposed to be no fighting in the War Room.

      *Or whatever it was called – I’m using D&D terminology

    • commodious spittoon

      It reminds me of a Neil Gaiman novel, tbh

  15. straffinrun

    It’s pronounced “Gerrrrrrrrthuh”

    • CPRM

      +1 Strom und drang!

  16. grrizzly

    February is almost over. I’ve avoided donning a face mask for an entire month. I didn’t fly anywhere and didn’t go to Costco or Total Wine. The rest was doable. The largest maskless gathering was at the barbershop: when I showed up both barbers and the only client didn’t wear masks. Pro tip: even in the proggiest places some establishments don’t have any “no mask” signs at the entrance.

  17. juris imprudent

    Well Trump was at CPAC – without the flip-flops – so that has to be new source material.

  18. Muzzled Woodchipper

    Though it’s a decent idea, I’m betting this does very little to curb the problem.

    Senate Bill 4 puts limitations on no-knock warrants but allows them to be issued when there is “clear and convincing” evidence of violent criminal activity.

    The bill would require officers to go through more levels of approval to get search warrants. It requires them to consult with supervisors and local prosecutors. It also requires a legible signature by a judge.

    What is clear an convincing in this context? In civil court it means more sure than not (50.1% sure will do). I don’t believe for a second that’s gonna deter the cops. And more “levels of approval” just means “more cover”, with “levels” being just more cops and prosecutors.

    I don’t want “I’m pretty sure they have guns and are violent.” I want “After a thorough investigation via on-site surveillance, we’ve positively identified weapons, and those who have been seen at the premises have violent criminal histories” along with the data to support it before a forced entry raid is okayed.

    And even that only after an investigation that shows definitively that the suspect cannot be apprehended in any other way.

    Seems like it would be a lot easier and safer to arrest the guy at the gas station or wherever than to just down his down with guns blazing.

    The bill also states that only specially trained units and officers can perform such a raid, which is good, except that just means that they’ll train EVERY officer with the bare minimum and carry in as usual.

    The best part of the bill states all members of an entry team must record the entire engagement. I don’t know what happens if they fail to, but I’d bet it’s back to “officer reports”, which we all know are bullshit. I want “If the event is not recorded in its entirety, any gaps will be filled in by the suspect, whose account will be accepted as true.” That seems like the only incentive that might move the chains on this.

    • straffinrun

      Am I missing the reason why they don’t just nab the guy when he walks down the street to buy groceries?

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        Because of the “But we have Authority Boners to caress” clause in the constitution.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        What’s the fun in that? I mean, you’ll never get to shoot someone that way.

      • creech

        It is well known that drug lords are hermits – they never leave their residence to grocery shop or fly to Vegas or go out to pick up women at the nightclubs. They don’t spend their drug millions: the money accumulates in their money bins and they roll around in it much like monocle/orphan lords.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Make the judge liable for anything that goes wrong.

      Problem solved.

      • rhywun

        Do you have a newsletter I can subscribe to?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Fuck off peasant.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      He’ll come up with some shitty excuse and the constituents will buy it.

    • Chafed

      When you lost NPR….

  19. Hank

    Someone was talking to me today about Goethe’s play Egmont, and was actually reading some of the quasi-philosophical bits to me (in translation). I had only known about the play because of the overture.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkxXFLRmqvw

  20. straffinrun

    Can I get a moment of silence for those poor agents that gave their lives in order to incinerate children at Waco?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      *yanks wanker*

      *yawn*

      Is the moment over?

  21. Muzzled Woodchipper

    The bill calls for in-person voting for an additional three days on top of Election Day, including a Saturday. It allows for people to cast their votes at voting centers, which don’t have to be located within their precinct. It’ll also have an online component, which will allow the Secretary’s office, or county clerks to monitor any improprieties.

    “This really enhances the security of our elections,” Mr. Adams told committee members.

    It’ll also allow China, Russia, or any number of other hostile entities to monitor them too.

    If you think making any part of voting an online process will enhance security, you’re a full blown idiot.

    https://www.lex18.com/news/covering-kentucky/house-bill-574-passes-would-alter-the-way-kentuckians-vote-in-elections

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      It seems like the whole country is hell bent on undermining the sorry state of electoral legitimacy even further for some insane reason and in this case it’s the Republicans that are doing it. They’re idiots.

    • Count Potato

      It’s already online.

  22. Hank

    “‘I am truly sorry’: Gov Cuomo admits making two women who claim he sexually harassed them feel uncomfortable but shrugs it off as ‘levity and banter’: Capitulates to NY AG Letitia James and allows her to handle investigation into him

    “New York Governor Andrew Cuomo said he ‘never intended to offend anyone or cause any harm’

    “‘I think I am being playful and make jokes that I think are funny,’ Cuomo said

    “Cuomo said that he ‘never inappropriately touched anybody’ and ‘never propositioned anybody’

    “New York politicians on both sides of the aisle are speaking out against Andrew Cuomo after he was accused of sexual harassment by a second former aide

    “Charlotte Bennett, 25, on Saturday said Cuomo told her he was open to dating women in their 20s and asked her questions about her personal life in June

    “It comes after Lindsey Boylan, 36, claimed he asked her to play strip poker and kissed her on the lips without her permission when she worked for him in 2017

    “Cuomo, 63, said he ‘never intended to act in any way that was inappropriate’ with Bennett and his press secretary said Boylan’s claims were ‘false’

    “The governor promised a review by former federal judge Barbara Jones

    “But many noted Jones had worked with Cuomo’s close ally Steven M. Cohen

    “Amid that mounting criticism his office said Sunday that James and DiFiore have been asked ‘to jointly select an independent investigator’

    “But James has demanded he refer the entire investigation to her with ‘subpoena power’, saying Sunday: ‘I do not accept the governor’s proposal'”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9310427/Cuomo-says-women-feel-uncomfortable-asks-independent-sexual-harassment-review.html

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      That Boylan woman is very harassable. Give Andy some credit, he’s got better taste than Bill Clinton.

    • Muzzled Woodchipper

      “Charlotte Bennett, 25, on Saturday said Cuomo told her he was open to dating women in their 20s and asked her questions about her personal life in June

      I have no idea how this can be interpreted as sexual harassment.

      “It comes after Lindsey Boylan, 36, claimed he asked her to play strip poker and kissed her on the lips without her permission when she worked for him in 2017

      Now that I get.

      • Fourscore

        I’d be open to dating women but my wife would want to choose them for me, it’s the way she is.

      • straffinrun

        There’s always the man option. Loopholes.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Is the AG actually going to shank Cuomo or is it kabuki theater to get subpoena power to torpedo the allegators?

      • limey

        If torpedoing alligators was an Olympic sport… something something Florida man.

    • straffinrun

      “‘I think I am being playful and make jokes that I think are funny,’ Cuomo said

      Good luck with that defense.

  23. Sean

    How is it Sunday night already?

    I didn’t prep enough meat for this week. *sigh*

  24. Sean

    Do wireless fast cell phone chargers just suddenly go bad?

    Mine stopped working. ?

    • UnCivilServant

      They’re bad to begin with.

  25. creech

    BidenhertimeHarris was on tv today claiming “deaths from Covid” have now surpassed all U.S. deaths from WWI, WWII and Vietnam combined. Not quite: deaths in those wars were 582,000. Not there yet, but perhaps I quibble. Of course, perhaps the metric should be “with Covid” and not “from Covid.”

    • limey

      Bingo. I’ve noticed the TV news here has slipped a few times and said “from” when they mean “with”, and most people don’t seem to understand or care about the difference. Many false positives, people die, positive test within a certain timeframe prior to death, massively inflated covid death numbers.

    • Fourscore

      ” in 2020 there have been 2,533,214 deaths, a population of 330,619,870, and a death rate of 0.8%….”

      If only we could eliminate natural causes we could do away with about 80% of annual deaths and only have to deal with the CV

      • Fourscore

        We’re getting a Natural Causes bonus, right? Should be 4X the 1400 for this round of CV bonus

    • grrizzly

      Each year in this century at least 2,400,000 people died in the US.

    • rhywun

      OMG ANOTHER (meaningless) GRIM MILESTONE!

      • hayeksplosives

        Good thing we have journalists to tell us how to feel using modifiers like “grim”, “startling”, and “alarming.”

        Otherwise I wouldn’t have known to be scared witless.

    • rhywun

      “There is no threat to his health or life,” the prisons official added.

      *snort*

      Didn’t Putin try to have him offed twice already?

      • hayeksplosives

        He’ll end up dying of exposure to some incredibly rare chemical that only a government could obtain/create.

        And it will get labeled a Covid-19 death.

    • CPRM

      “Concerns were subsequently raised within the Amnesty movement over the reference to Navalny as a prisoner of conscience given that Navalny had, in the past, made comments which may have amounted to the advocacy of hatred that constitutes incitement to discrimination, violence or hostility,” the organization said in a statement emailed to CBS News late on Thursday.

      It said the “concerns” had prompted a re-examination of Navalny’s case, after which Amnesty concluded that a mistake had been made in its initial assessment. The rights group did not say what comments had sparked its reassessment, but added that some of Navalny’s, “previous comments have not been publicly renounced.”

      The organization said it was still calling for Navalny’s immediate release and an independent investigation into his poisoning, which the opposition leader has blamed squarely on Russian President Vladimir Putin.

      “Orchestrated campaign”
      Navalny has been criticized for past statements against illegal immigration, and for attending an annual nationalist march in the early 2000s. In one 2007 clip, he’s heard defending nationalism, saying: “We have a right to be Russians in Russia.”

      He also called for the deportation of migrants, but spoke out against violence by far-right extremists. Navalny has since distanced himself from those views in public speeches, but he still promotes the idea of visa requirements for citizens of former Soviet states in Central Asia.

      He’s the Rushun Drumpf! Wait, doesn’t that make him Putin’s Puppet?

      But seriously, every time we here about politicians from other countries it’s with some qualifier like ‘far right’, ‘far left’, ‘opposition’, etc without ever going into detail on what the actual policy proposals are. It’s always, ‘because they oppose [leader we don’t like] they should be our fren!’

      • rhywun

        NaTIoNalISt!

        Therefore Nazi. Or something.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Remember: Racial Tribalism is all the rage and Nationalism is icky. Segregation wasn’t immoral, it was just implemented under the wrong terms. That’s not regressive in the least.

      • Chafed

        I’m going to tuck that last line away.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Because Mandela and the ANC were never tied to any actual terrorist acts right?

    • hayeksplosives

      Dayum.

      I hope he can figure out a way to find happiness without golf.

      Even during his phenomenal early career he didn’t seem to find fulfillment. That’s pretty much why he chased all those chicks, including homely ones at the local breakfast diner.

      He needs something fixed above the neck, or the awful injuries to his leg will consume what’s left of him.

    • Tundra

      He’s a pretty good athlete. I won’t bet against him.

      • creech

        In five years, he’ll be eligible for the Seniors tour. Can ride around in a cart. Probably good enough to be competitive but will he want to be less than capable of being in the mix every Sunday? Golf is one sport that you can play professionally for fifty years but sooner or later you got to decide you don’t have it any more and just do the ceremonial tee off at the Masters.

    • straffinrun

      More time for him to…

    • rhywun

      How’d it happen? The classic “he lost control of the vehicle”, or what?

      • one true athena

        Having driven that same road nearly every day for two years – I think it’s quite possible, tbh. It’s a fairly steep grade but it doesn’t really look like it since the street’s 6 lanes wide and he was just visiting and in a borrowed car (the Genesis open lent it to him while he was in town apparently). I assume at that hour it was also light traffic, so he might not have even realized how fast he was going. Then it’s easy to overcorrect in an unfamiliar car, and he went through the median and it rolled over.

  26. Tundra

    Fuck, yeah!

    Looking forward to March!

  27. straffinrun

    This last year has been the longest two weeks of my life.

    • Tundra

      Yeah? How’s the curve?

      • straffinrun

        Fauci told me to get bent.

      • rhywun

        How’s the curve?

        A little personal, don’t you think?

      • straffinrun

        Had a coworker pull me aside today and tell me not to ask other coworkers what their first name is. “That’s personal information.” I just looked her name tag and let it go. People are cray cray.

      • rhywun

        Ugly American.

      • Chafed

        Handsome gaijin.

    • CPRM

      Like I’ve said, just before ‘two weeks to flatten the curve’ I was moved from 2nd to 3rd shift ‘for a few weeks until we hire someone else’.

    • Chafed

      Well said Straff.

  28. hayeksplosives

    CPRM gives us something to look forward to in this crazy world that has succumbed to a mass delusion.

    Yay for Hat & Hair!

    • straffinrun

      Get your vaccine at Salem’s Lot.

    • Tundra

      Mostly Hat.

  29. straffinrun

    If The US sure seems to like bombing structures.

    • rhywun

      I’m not that drunk… what?

  30. KSuellington

    Watched a good movie with the wife last night on Netflix. In a Valley of Violence, a 2016 Western with Ethan Hawke and John Travolta. I’d give it solid 7.5 which is very high for any modern flick, as most movies made these days just do not do it for me. It was mostly done in the style of old westerns though as far as pacing and plot. Worth a watch if ya got the Netflix and like classic westerns.

      • KSuellington

        Ha! Looks fun, I’ll check it out. Thanks.

  31. grrizzly

    We clearly need more lockdowns.

    At the end of 2020, California had lost a record 1.6 million jobs during the pandemic. Nearly a half-million people stopped even trying to look for work. Business properties saw their value plummet more than 30%.

    But California’s bank account is overflowing. As of January, the state’s tax collections were $10.5 billion ahead of projections. By the end of the fiscal year on July 1, Gov. Gavin Newsom and the state Legislature could have a $19 billion surplus to spend.

    It’s so much money that, for just the second time ever, the state is projected to trigger a state law requiring the government to send refunds to taxpayers.

    • rhywun

      And then a half dozen billionaires move to Texas and California goes bankrupt.

      • Chafed

        It could happen.

      • hayeksplosives

        Snd then Texas starts voting blue and the Donks never lose another presidential election.

        The Donks split between Left and Really Left, the Elephants tilt at windmills, and the Liberty leaning people do…something?

      • limey

        Move to Alaska?

      • Tejicano

        I dunno. I hadn’t imagined there would be 75 million people who would vote “for Trump/against woke-progtopia”. But now that we are aware of our numbers, regardless of how the media and the (D) party tries to gaslight us away, I am getting the feeling that something might be busting loose before too long.

  32. Gustave Lytton

    TCM has The Front on. Fun in parts, but the lying narrative both in the movie and by Ben Mankiewicz afterwards continues to be infuriating. Fuck the commies.

    • Gustave Lytton

      As does the conflation of HUAC and McCarthy.

      • CPRM

        McCarthy, like Trump, was a bafoon and also an Evil Genius, duh. Tail Gunner Joe made Hollywood Blacklists that had to be adhered to, or he would…drink more?

      • l0b0t

        McCarthy had nothing to do with Hollywood blacklists, he was a Senator; all of the Hollywood stuff came from HUAC a House committee. Also, now that a great deal of Sov stuff has been made public, it’s pretty clear that McCarthy was right after all.

      • The Hyperbole

        If I recall he was correct in that the commies were trying to infiltrate the government, but he was still widely wrong when it came to the actual people he accused. Something like of the 500 he accused 17 ended up having some soviet connections.

    • Ted S.

      I assume he ignored the latter-day blacklist that is cancel culture?

  33. grrizzly

    I can easily recall the phone number of the bf I had 25 years ago. It’s a challenge to recall the number of my partner for the last 16 years. I blame the cell phone favorite numbers.

    • Chafed

      I have the same problem with my kids’ numbers. I force myself to dial their numbers occasionally just so I have a shot at remembering.

  34. CPRM

    (Deep Hat Sigh)
    Late night threads just aren’t the same without Sir Digby.

    • hayeksplosives

      Nope.

      Where’d he go? I recall he was having issues with his elderly mother, but I didn’t know he’d be gone for all time.

      I hope he is ok; he’s one of the good ones!

      • CPRM

        He got burned out by politics and rededicated to religion and his wife. Left the site to focus on his actual life. I’m still in contact via e-mail. He made it through the coldsnap in the Dallas area.

      • hayeksplosives

        Thank you for the update.

        I’m glad he’s ok and paying attention to the lasting things, things that matter.

      • limey

        Amen to that. I miss his offbeat personality but I’m glad he’s got his priorities in order. Godspeed, Sir Digby.

      • Tejicano

        Thanks for the update. As I am a resident of US night-time Glibs I was used to seeing him around a lot.

  35. Hank

    Problem: Australian schoolboys raping their girlfriends.

    Solution: More prosecutions.

    No, just kidding about that. The solution is changing sex education to teach boys not to rape, and abolishing single-sex schools.

    “‘There are problems with sexual assault and consent at all schools in Australia, but what we can see from the large amount of anecdotal evidence over the years that there appears to be a problem, particularly at all-boys schools where students are rewarded for being a ‘stud’,’ Prof Rasmussen said.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9298675/Former-student-Chanel-Contos-reveals-theory-Australias-sexual-assault-crisis-schools.html

  36. Yusef drives a Kia

    Hello Early Glibs, what’s shakin’?

    • Sean

      Mornin

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Howdy Sean,

      • Gender Traitor

        Mornin’, Yu & Sean. My brief vacation was nice, but it’s time to get back to work today. Month-end reports and payroll await.

  37. Yusef drives a Kia

    Well this sucks, the Night shift is no more…..

    • westernsloper

      Soon you will need to show proof of vaccine to get on a plane, buy concert tickets, buy sporting event tickets, ride public transit, order a sandwich for delivery………..

  38. UnCivilServant

    Morning People.

    I’m annoyed at myself for burning the roof of my mouth.

      • UnCivilServant

        I can’t drink coffee. It makes me feel like my heart is going to explode.

      • The Hyperbole

        It’s not supposed to do that?

    • Gender Traitor

      Morning, UCS. How did you burn your mouth? ::looks askance at own mug of hot coffee::

      • UnCivilServant

        I made the mistake of microwaving my brown bread after putting cream cheese on it.

        Fun fact, cream cheese becomes molten fire when microwaved for even a short time.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        So true, U, howdy kids, almost time, lets grow stuff!

      • Fourscore

        What new stuff you gonna plant?

        About mid-March I’ll start the peppers inside. Looks like today is the last cooler day and tomorrow the local Earth starts Climate Change.

        Have about 15 apple trees started in the east window now.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m going to guess something fungal.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        And you would be correct, Shrooms!

      • Gender Traitor

        And then it sticks….to…. Yeah. ::winces in sympathy::

      • UnCivilServant

        By the way, did you get to read the emailed section after your last bout of laundry?

      • Gender Traitor

        Yes, and I’m just rereading it now. I’ll e-mail you a response shortly.

      • UnCivilServant

        Thank you. I do appreciate the feedback.

      • Gender Traitor

        You’re quite welcome. Just sent my reply.

  39. Scruffy Nerfherder

    !*&^#@^%!!!

    Son has to finish an online history course in order to meet credit requirements to graduate high school. Last semester he procrastinated and was freaking out at the end of the term to get it finished on time.

    This semester he has to have it done much earlier in order to submit to the high school in May for graduation. I’ve been on his ass about being ahead of schedule and received multiple assurances that he had it under control.

    Just got a notice that he’s three weeks behind on assignments if he wants finish the course by !*&^%!^%!! July.

    !(*&^@*&^!)(*$%!!!!

    • Gender Traitor

      Yikes! Does he have post-graduation plans that will be disrupted if he doesn’t finish on time?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I don’t know if he can get the damn diploma if he doesn’t finish on time and I’m paying thru the nose for him to attend.

        The kid’s got an IQ in the 150+ range, but he’s a complete retard sometimes.

    • Fourscore

      It’s too bad that puberty and teenage is so long. If there was a way to go from middle school straight to the workforce life would be so much calmer/easier/less stressful for parents.
      One day, however, those same kids will say to you, “Thanks, Dad, for leaning on me, I’d have never made it with you and Mom.

      The birthday cards I get these days are full of “The Best Dad in the World” stuff and a reminder to keep my will updated.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It wouldn’t be so aggravating if multiple people hadn’t bent over backwards to provide him with opportunities to develop his talents. And then he goes and fucks it up by not completing a simple history course on time.

        He’s the archetype of the absentminded professor.

      • Fourscore

        My son streaked bare assed about 3-4 days before high school graduation. I got called in immediately, of course. I knew both the principal and superintendent quite well, I’d been in their offices several times before.

        They closed the door, explained the circumstances, expelled him but reassured me that he would receive his diploma but would not participate in any school functions/ceremonies, etc.

        He graduated from UTexas, now has his own business.

    • l0b0t

      Snarky answer aside, I feel your pain. We had to pull the kids out of the YMCA learning annex program because they were having trouble staying on task (son went a whole day without signing into a single class; he just drew pictures all day).