Thursday Afternoon SPace Odyssey Links

by | Feb 18, 2021 | Daily Links | 416 comments

Welp, it’s happened. I managed to shock OMWC. We might be heading for divorce. Hard to know.

Last night it somehow came up that I have never seen 2001: A Space Odyssey. I’m not really a sci fi girl. If you lined up all the genres of fiction, sci fi would be second to last on my “want to read” list.

I’ll keep you posted on the legal proceedings.

 

Anyway, let’s give you some links to ignore!

 

Here’s one for the beer lovers.

Uh-oh. They’re now letting Kamala do interviews.

No, punish her for getting caught. H/T SugarFree

But will they have to answer everything in the form of a question?

 

Bye, Bob.

 

And a little music.

Have a great rest of your day, kids!

About The Author

SP

SP

I've got an idea! How about we just stick to the Constitution as written and then the government can leave me the fuck alone.

416 Comments

  1. UnCivilServant

    The aroma of diced ginger fills the air.

    I wait for .. scheduled maintenence?

    But will they have to answer everything in the form of a question?

    No, the suits are for the one with the answers.

  2. kinnath

    Love space oddity. I remember when it hit the airwaves.

  3. Surly Knott

    Even more topical music.

  4. UnCivilServant

    Here’s one for the beer lovers.

    In other news, Pharoh has begun a crackdown on homebrewers.

    • UnCivilServant

      Archaeologists believe the Abydos brewery dates back to the reign of King Narmer

      If I remember my egyptian history he unified upper and lower Egypt first. Lemme go look it up…

      • UnCivilServant

        Narmer (Ancient Egyptian: nꜥr-mr, … r. c. 3273 – 2987 BC) was an ancient Egyptian pharaoh of the Early Dynastic Period.[4] He was the successor to the Protodynastic king Ka. Many scholars consider him the unifier of Egypt and founder of the First Dynasty, and in turn the first king of a unified Egypt

        Heh. I do remember things.

      • Bobarian LMD

        And King Ka is the short guy with antennae on Dragonball.

        I remember things too.

  5. Tonio

    Speaking of space stuff, Marslander Perseverance just touched down. That baby has a rover and a drone copter.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Yep! Cool stuff.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I watched the live 7-minutes of terror and even I was finding myself white knuckled waiting for subtle “yes!” or muted cheers.

    • l0b0t

      That’s embiggening my heart. Maybe we can flee this rock in my lifetime and I’ll be able to unleash Astrozombies upon the Earthers.

  6. Gustave Lytton

    Not really surprising. The movie came out what, 40 years before you were born? It’s also overrated. More so than even that shark movie or the one about the Italian gangsters.

    • Not Adahn

      the one about the Italian gangsters.

      Suburra: Blood on Rome?

      • Lackadaisical

        That’s actually pretty good.

    • The Hyperbole

      So you’re saying it’s no Zardoz?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Clockwork Orange is way better along with Dr Strangelove and Barry Lyndon. And The Shining and Full Metal Jacket, almost all of Kubrick’s catalogue actually.

      • Bobarian LMD

        2001 was “visually stunning”; it’s special effects hold up a lot better than the first Star Wars movie.

        But the pacing and story were pretty blehh.

        It was a movie popular for seeing while under the influences of mind-altering substances.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I’ll give it that, the visuals still hold up.

      • Chipwooder

        Not Eyes Wide Shut, though.

        Full Metal Jacket isn’t really a great movie overall, but it always has a special place in your heart if you’ve been through Marine boot camp…..even if it was filmed entirely in England, not Parris Island.

        Barry Lyndon is very underrated.

      • Nephilium

        Full Metal Jacket has been described as a great movie, and a mediocre movie released together.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        First half great, second half OK but it ain’t no Platoon.

      • Chipwooder

        The book it was sort-of adapted from, The Short Timers, has three sections. The movie mashed the second and the third section together for the Vietnam part of the movie, and it doesn’t exactly work. Gustav Hasford, the book’s author and a Vietnam vet, HATED the adaptation and (I think) tried to sue Kubrick over it.

        The boot camp sequence is mostly awesome. The one gripe I have, and Lee Ermey was a DI so I’m not quite sure why he didn’t set them straight, is that the senior drill instructor a)does more supervision of the green belt DIs than hands-on recruit training b)isn’t generally the real hardass of the DIs. The SDI is supposed to be like a tough but supportive “daddy”. He’ll fuck you up sometimes but he also “rescues” you from the green belts when they’ve been really kicking your ass. It’s all scripted and very theatrical in a way”

      • Gustave Lytton

        +1 “sit up straight and listen to me” exact same speech on dozens of YouTube videos

    • RBS

      Sharknado is a fucking classic.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I preferred Sharktopus vs. Whalewolf. Rico did the movie justice.

    • Homple

      2001 was long and pretentious. But for a really long, really boring movie that was too leaden to be pretentious, watch the Soviet-era Russian movie Solaris.

  7. Count Potato

    “Democrats’ ‘No Glory For Hate Act’ Seeks To Ban Trump Namesake, Restrict Burial

    The legislation reads in part: “[N]o Federal funds may be used to create or display any symbol, monument, or statue commemorating any former President that has been twice impeached by the House of Representatives on or before the date of enactment of this Act or has been convicted of a State or Federal crime relating to actions taken in an official capacity as President of the United States on Federal public land, including any highway, park, subway, Federal building, military installation, street, or other Federal property; or name, designate, or redesignate a Federal building or Federal land after, or in commemoration of, any former President that has been twice impeached by the House of Representatives on or before the date of enactment of this Act or has been convicted of a State or Federal crime relating to actions taken in an official capacity as President of the United States.”

    “For years, Donald Trump poured gasoline on lies, encouraging racism and hatred, then lit the match on January 6th,” Sanchez said in a statement concerning the bill. “A president who has been impeached twice does not deserve the honours bestowed on a former president. We should never glorify the hatred Donald Trump personified as President. This bill ensures that there is no glory for hate, not a building, statue, or even a park bench.””

    https://www.dailywire.com/news/democrats-no-glory-for-hate-act-seeks-to-ban-trump-namesake-restrict-burial

    • Suthenboy

      These fucking pinko shitbirds are worse than Jon Lovitz’s character Pathological Liar.

      Every word he said is complete horseshit. Who buys that nonsense?

      • Ownbestenemy

        People that are screaming that they are so happy that they can move on from Trump…yet don’t.

      • Suthenboy

        They need him. They need a boogeyman and a distraction so no one sees what they are doing.

      • Chipwooder

        The extremely-online pundit class has a large empty space in their lives that only Trump can fill.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Good luck!

    • Gustave Lytton

      So all the Rs need to do is regain the house and impeach Bill again? The Marc Rich pardon should be sufficient.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Right? Ex Post Facto has a sad.

      • Count Potato

        It’s seems written so it only applies to Trump, “any former President that has been twice impeached by the House of Representatives on or before the date of enactment of this Act”.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Just more proof that they’re petty assholes.

      • Gadfly

        And it’s hollow posturing, as if it passes the Rs can just repeal it later.

      • The Other Kevin

        “Any former president whose name rhymes with Ronald Crump”.

      • l0b0t

        The bill clearly states “…commemorating any former President…”; if one wanted to be pedantic and trolly, the monuments, statues, etc. could be in commemoration of Citizen Trump’s work to break the back of the evil cartel and bring football to the masses. Maybe house the Dept. of Education in a building named to celebrate the fact that Citizen Trump founded an institution of higher learning.

    • zwak

      So, Obama should be treated that way? ‘Cause I think he was the master of hate spreading.

      Just saying.

      (R’s should nominate him first should this come to pass. But probably wont)

  8. EvilSheldon

    2001 was mediocre sci-fi at best, and both Clarke and Kubrick are overrated hacks. Fight me.

    • Not Adahn

      I knew I liked you.

    • Count Potato

      Even if you don’t like the story, that it was made with 1968 technology is amazing.

      • Tonio

        ^This. And even if you don’t like Kubrick, he was a meticulous and accomplished director.

      • Nephilium

        And an asshole… but I think that goes without saying.

        Proof that Stephen King doesn’t understand movies:

        1) He hates the Kubrick version of the Shining
        2) He directed Maximum Overdrive

      • kinnath

        1) He hates the Kubrick version of the Shining

        I hate the Kubrik version of the Shining.

        Kubrik got the rights with no intention of following the story line. It’s a very well made movie that fucks with its source material. I hate movie people that do that.

      • zwak

        That is because it is better than the source material.

        King sucks donkey dick as a writer, and the Shining is by far too precious.

      • kinnath

        That is because it is better than the source material.

        Going to have to disagree with you there.

      • juris imprudent

        The first half of Kubrick’s take is sheer brilliance – since you don’t know if Jack is nuts or ghosts are running around. Once the ghosts take over it sucks. I will grant the book was scarier, from the get-go, but I don’t really get off on that.

    • LCDR_Fish

      No argument, but watching the remastered HD version on the big screen does look pretty nice. Esp the space walk scenes, etc. Way too slow and plot-less though.

      • Not Adahn

        “Man, you just don’t get the artistic vision of starting of with fifteen minutes of black screen”

      • Tonio

        That was, I believe, il intermezzo, with nice orchestral music.

      • Bobarian LMD

        As I pointed out above, if you didn’t appreciate that, you weren’t taking the right kind of psychedelics.

      • Not Adahn

        I think I’ll start a restaurant with no food. But it will have elegant place settings and wonderful ambience.

      • Count Potato

        That’s a china shop.

      • UnCivilServant

        No, you can buy the place settings in a china shop.

        In this establishment, you pay to sit and soak in the ambiance.

      • l0b0t

        To be fair, 2001 does suffer from the fact that Star Wars came along and radically changed sci-fi so 2001 looks very slowly paced comparatively.

      • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

        It also looks very “sterile corporate.” Everything’s a smooth, tastefully-matte panel in soothing tones of earth and linen, except for the white-on-white of half the shit in the Discovery.

        Then I went to Expo ’67, and realized where the designers got their inspiration from (although the U.S. pavilion — a geodesic dome made of girders and plexi triangles — was way cool).

      • C. Anacreon

        When I was in grade school a neighborhood family drove with their kids (my friends) in the back of the station wagon all the way from Chicago to Montreal just to go to Expo 67. When they came back all they could say was how crowded it was, how long the lines for everything were, and how they couldn’t believe the price for a hot dog there (perhaps they were asking 75 cents a dog? Which would have been pretty high priced in those days, when all candy bars were a nickel, for example). Seemed like they didn’t have too great a time, I don’t know what they were expecting (it was before Orlando Disney etc was created, so probably not expecting that).

        To this day, other than knowing that’s what the Montreal baseball team was named after, your post just now is the first I’ve heard about Expo 67 since my childhood pals’ excursion to there. Thanks for bringing back that memory!

    • Tundra

      *hands ES a beer*

      No argument here.

    • Old Man With Candy

      I try not to punch tards.

      • zwak

        This guy gets it.

    • The Hyperbole

      He’s no Peckinpah or Kurosawa, but The Killing, Dr Strangelove, The Shining that’s a good career right there.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Yeah, my comment was specifically re: 2001. I do enjoy the other flicks I’ve seen by him. Sounds like he was a bigger than average jerk to work with though

      • Tonio

        Cecil B. DeMille has a sad.

    • kinnath

      Clarke and Asimov were my favorite authors growing up. They eventually fell by the wayside.

      2001 was not Clarke’s best book, nor was the movie Kubrik’s best.

    • Gadfly

      While 2001 is a boring slog, it does have good direction and great cinematography, so it’s a good film but not an entertaining movie.

    • SP

      I think OMWC’s love for the thing is based on his impressionable age and overweening nerdiness when it came out.

      • EvilSheldon

        I can understand this. There was a long period of time when sci-fi was really, ‘You take what you can get.’

      • Old Man With Candy

        I WAS NOT A NERD. Jesus, you build a ham radio station and people start judging you.

      • UnCivilServant

        It’s not that, but you made it out of actual ham.

      • Ted S.

        I thought ham radio wasn’t kosher.

      • juris imprudent

        Also understandable with the generation gap between you and him. I had to sit my son down to watch it so he could appreciate my cultural references.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      “overrated hacks”

      Clarke, yes.

      Kubrick, no.

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      All other things aside, the best part of 2001 was the fact that the external scenes are *silent*! It’s the only movie that I know of that recognizes that THERE IS NO SOUND IN SPACE!

      That missing little fact has always bothered me in movies. I’m convinced that every director in Hollywood slept through physics class in high school.

    • zwak

      I’ll admit it; I am an unabashed Kubrick fan-boy.

      2001, The Killing, Barry Lyndon, Full Metal Jacket, The Shinning, Clockwork Orange, Dr. Strangelove and yes, even Eyes Wide Shut are leagues beyond the contemporaries.

      • dbleagle

        It is interesting, at least to me, that Kubrick’s vision of the moon was dying as the movie was being prepared for release. There were two competing hypotheses for the lunar surface- Sharp and Dulled. If you look at the moon through even through the best telescopes the shadows are very sharp, the edges of features are sharp and there is no atmosphere or water to erode things- hence the sharp moon. Others argued that micrometeorites, lots of time, and even the energy of the sun would all combine to erode surfaces- the dulled edged moon.

        Kubrick had to choose a vision to create his lunar surface. He chose sharp. In 1967 and 1968 we started landing the Surveyor probes on the surface in preparation for Apollo. They found the surface to be highly eroded.

        It is also interesting to see that very little of what was envisioned for 2001 was actually around in 2001. USSR? Gone. MaBell? Gone. Pan Am? Gone.

    • rhywun

      There are at least a half-dozen better Clarke novels. I have a few favorites from childhood.

    • Suthenboy

      I was told more than once that “No no no, Puddin’ Cup is totally not in the pocket of China! You are a conspiracy theorist.”
      I know several proggies who claim that Hunter working for the Chinese is a conspiracy theory, that it never happened. Useful idiots indeed. Congratulations assholes.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Hunter never worked for China. He worked for his Dad, acting as a cut-out to collect money while his Pop worked for China.

        They should both be prosecuted under RICO.

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      That’s some authentic frontier gibberish.

  9. Tundra

    Fabulous song!

    Here’s another.

    Let all the children boogie.

      • Tundra

        I am having so much fun with the poisonous people
        Spreading rumors and lies and stories they made up
        Some make you sing and some make you scream
        One makes you wish that you never been seen
        But there’s a shop on the corner selling papier mache
        Making bullet-proof faces Charles Manson, Cassius Clay
        If you want it, boys get it here thing.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCPycVuiIJA

  10. Lachowsky

    I cheated on all kinds of tests at school. I don’t seem to have been harmed by it, and I don’t recall ever getting caught.

    • The Other Kevin

      I got cheated off a few times. Once, my Spanish teacher, in an incident that cemented him as coolest teacher ever, stopped me after class. He asked if this other kid cheated off me, and showed me how close our tests were. I made only one quirky mistake and so did the other kid. I fessed up. The teacher said he knew I didn’t have to cheat, told me he was moving my seat the next day, and that’s the last I ever heard of it.

    • Ownbestenemy

      My history teacher, a true Reaganite (but never pushed him on the class) and family friend had a very dry humor. One day, my buddy sitting next to me cheated off my paper and when he got his paper back, it read something like “You will have a good career at Xerox”.

      My friend didn’t get it. I chuckled.

    • Endless Mike

      I got praised for it once by a high school history teacher – he noticed that I was always the last person to turn in my test, even though I was one of the better students in class; his (correct) conclusion: I was listening to the early finishers whispering their answers to each other and using it to double check my work.

  11. Not Adahn

    2001 is a dreadful, boring, hyperpretenitous movie.

    • Lady Z

      I fell asleep the last time I attempted to watch it.

      • Old Man With Candy

        I used to like you.

      • Lackadaisical

        Same here, now 2001 a space travesty was good

    • Timeloose

      It’s a GD masterpiece of a Movie and moviemaking.

      The Kubrick touches were perfect for the story.

      I also loved that the PC game Elite required you to dock at every space station in the same way as the movie while listening to the same music.

      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=K2y2INmIfd4

  12. KromulentKristen

    Not a fan of 2001, except for the set design

    • Old Man With Candy

      It is perfect minimalism in script and acting, and gets the physics right. Clarke’s concept and vision were brilliant.

      • Not Adahn

        You know what else gets the physics right and is wonderfully scripted and acted? The Expanse.

      • Endless Mike

        This. The economics, however…

  13. UnCivilServant

    Off topic, what’s the best way to decrystalize honey?

    • EvilSheldon

      Put the jar in a pot of hot-but-not-boiling water?

    • LCDR_Fish

      I tried thawing/remelting mine by leaving it on top of my coffee machine a few days straight, but that didn’t seem to work – wound up just tossing it.

    • Not Adahn

      I’ve never found a way that works.

      • Not Adahn

        Since I have the insticts of a Great Depression survivor, I cut the top off the jar and use it as a spread and/or tea sweetener.

    • Old Man With Candy

      Heat and mix in about 5% corn syrup.

      • Not Adahn

        ADULTERATOR!

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        miscegenation I think would be the better word.

      • Tundra

        You trying to kill Fourscore?!?

    • SP

      Gently in the microwave.

      • Count Potato

        That’s what I do.

      • kinnath

        Works well for small jars.

        Note, not all plastic containers are microwave safe. I have come back to shrunken plastic jars and liquid honey all over my microwave.

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, Fourscore gave it to be in a glass jar, so I don’t think the glass will melt.

        I just haven’t used it fast enough.

      • Fourscore

        Now I see the problem

        /Reminds self not to give UCS any more honey

        Just kidding, UCS, but you have to come and get it

      • UnCivilServant

        At least I’m using it and didn’t throw it away or something.

        😛

      • SP

        I only buy raw local artisanal honey in glass jars. None of that plastic bear crap here. 😉

      • Count Potato

        So no honey bear bong?

      • kinnath

        I buy honey from all over the country. It is generally in plastic gallon jugs or 12 lb plastic pails. So most of my honey is raw direct from the apiary.

        Sam’s club has 44 oz plastic jars of raw, unfiltered honey at a good price. I buy it by the flat for making mead. It crystalizes quickly at basement temps, so I am always nuking them in the microwave.

        Glass containers are great for the table. Disastrous for shipping large quantities via UPS.

      • Fourscore

        I decant into plastic squeeze bottles, we only use it on the oatmeal, daily.

      • UnCivilServant

        This is likely the only method I’d end up trying. But it turned out the crystalization wasn’t as bad as I feared.

    • Tundra

      Eat it.

      • RBS

        This.

      • Fourscore

        With a spoon

    • kinnath

      Heat and time.

      Bring it up to 100 degrees or so and wait.

      I have decrystalized 5-gallon pales by putting them in a cardboard box with a 60 watt trouble light. Takes a couple of days.

      When working with gallon jugs, I will put them into a picnic cooler and fill it with hot water from the tap. Close the lid. I will drain and refill the next day. This will get honey that is completely solid back to 95% liquid.

  14. Lachowsky

    “It’s going to be safer for our schools to reopen when we can get our schools the infrastructure — helping them with their ventilation systems, helping them create social distancing with barriers, the things that are necessary to get them back open in a safe way.”

    More money. That is always the answer with these people.

    • Chipwooder

      They’ve starting beating the drum that “akshully, schools were bad for kids health even before WuFlu, so we need to do blahblahblah before we send kids back! You’re not against kids being healthy, are you? ARE YOU?

      • Lachowsky

        Abolish The DOE. If the Republitards were not totally useless this should be their talking point from now on.

      • EvilSheldon

        At this point, I kinda am…

      • Chipwooder

        Well, that would be pretty on-brand for “Evil Sheldon”, wouldn’t it?

  15. Lady Z

    her homework has been to memorize 20 spelling words each week

    Umm, that is not excessive. Maybe mom’s attitude is the problem?

    • EvilSheldon

      But evidence shows they’re not effective!

      CWAA…

  16. Chipwooder

    I’ve never really known what the hell 2001 is about, but it is a visual masterpiece. I enjoy watching it for that reason alone.

    • Not Adahn

      For slow paced, vaguely plotted, absolutely freaking gorgeous films, the new Blade Runner is far superior.

      • Count Potato

        No, it isn’t.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Well, it does have boobies.

      • Endless Mike

        I loved Blade Runner 2049, but I also like 2001, so what do I know.

    • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

      I just want a full-on replica of one of the space suits. First time I ever saw a spacesuit with a helmet that actually made sense, instead of the fishbowl thingies I kept seeing in schlocky sci-fi up until that point.

    • Lachowsky

      I wish Texas would get their shit together so we can buy natural gas again here in Arkansas.

    • LCDR_Fish

      We boiled (and filtered) our water for the 12 years (30 years for my folks) that I lived in SE Asia.

    • Nephilium

      My news feed popped up the angry headlines that Cruz went down to Mexico with HIS FAMILY! WHILE TEXANS ARE FREEZING!

      I didn’t bother to read the article and see if this was a planned vacation, a junket, or something I should care about.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Planned but that doesn’t matter anymore. Those people would have had relief if he stayed in state.

    • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

      A buddy of mine in Fort Worth wrote me yesterday morning about what’s going on there:

      “Rolling blackouts” is a sham. Our power went out Sunday morning and just came on sometime before 0150 this morning. I spent three hours at the 24-hour animal ER with my dog last night – he’s OK – and found the lights on when I came home. In a medium snowfall on solid snow-packed streets. We’ve spent three nights in the travel trailer in the driveway on a generator. Our lowest temperature was 3F by my weather station. Two of those nights were with with our 95-year old former neighbor aboard. We picked her up from the independent living facility she now lives at. They lost power Monday morning and pipes quickly froze and burst. It’s been rough and we have no reason to believe the lights will stay on. Our power grid agency and the electrical producers have bungled and continue to bungle this whole disaster.

      Ask me how I really feel.

      Our governor – who bears significant responsibility himself – is leading a lynch mob against the whole gang. There will be blood letting.

      But we have not suffered nearly as much as so many. My sister is an Alzheimer’s patient and her facility did a hell of a job caring for and keeping the residents without line power. Everyone has camped out in the common areas on generator power. God bless that staff! Mom didn’t lose power. So we are really fortunate compared to many, many Texans. It’s 19F right now but won’t break freezing for two more days.

      Rambling response. Sorry, I got three hours sleep last night. Hope that you and yours are well.

      Yikes.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Isn’t this about 3 days past the normal howls from the media that the president isn’t doing enough? Or is that me that thinks it has been suspiciously quiet.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        The rules are different depending on who’s president.

      • C. Anacreon

        I’m sure the media’s consensus take has been decided as “Texas is a red state, so they deserve whatever happens to them”.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        This is exactly right, despite being a leader in everything they hold dear when it comes to green energy.

    • Gadfly

      While those are bad numbers, for perspective keep in mind that there are 29M Texans, so most are not having to deal with the worst fallout of this storm. I feel bad for those who have lost power (that would really suck given these temperatures), but I have had continuous power where I am in north Texas. It seems like south Texas is faring worse, which makes sense since north Texas occasionally gets snow while south Texas almost never does (where my parents live down south has broken temperature records set in the 1800s).

      • R C Dean

        I have had continuous power where I am in north Texas

        So have my parents, also in North Texas.

      • Fourscore

        Daughter in Temple, starting the 4th day without power.

      • Lady Z

        Yikes, sorry Fourscore. I’m hearing from DFW and San Antonio people with no power at all, others who didn’t lose it, and everything in between. Doesn’t seem to have any rhyme or reason to it.

      • KromulentKristen

        I watch a twice weekly livestream originating in the DFW area, and they cancelled last night’s stream because of powah issues.

        This was me when I realized it wasn’t happening:

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bp9AClR8qCY

      • KromulentKristen

        Huzzah! His power is back & he’s doing a make-up livestream!! Rain Man is happy!

      • Unreconstructed

        And the numbers have been getting better by the day. I was sans power from 2 AM Monday through about 11:30 last night, with a few short intervals of power (about 4 in total) over that 3 day span. And it only got down to about 19 here. I survived quite handily – though I did make food runs since I couldn’t cook (damn electric stove!).

    • Chipwooder

      “turned heads”…..hahahahahaha, sure she did

      • Suthenboy

        It doesnt say which way they turned.

      • The Other Kevin

        Zing!

      • Fourscore

        “Kamala Harris’ stepdaughter Ella Emhoff makes her runway”

        I read that as run a way and said good.

        “Free at last, free at last, thank god I’m free at last”

      • R C Dean

        “Fwee at last, fwee at last, thank god I’m fwee at last”

    • Old Man With Candy

      That is one homely girl. I’m sure this was based on merit, right?

      • R C Dean

        To be fair, based on my monthly exposure to “high fashion” models in the WSJ weekly mag, she hits the mark for undernourished and not particularly attractive. She doesn’t quite have the look of bored ennui and coming off a drug bender that the top models have, so she’s not to that level yet.

      • Endless Mike

        Yeah I think she fits right in

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        She’s running with the ambiguous gender thing, so hot right now.

      • Fourscore

        homely = ugly? Where’s the dividing line?

    • Ted S.

      Compare and contrast the treatment Emhoff gets with the treatment Melania Trump got.

    • SP

      A “cheekiness and joy” she exudes? She looks seriously depressed in every image I’ve ever seen of her.

      • Suthenboy

        You would too if you were raised by a sociopath

    • Lady Z

      Whoa, that hair. Let’s leave the poodle back in the 90’s where it belongs.

      • R C Dean

        That hair oozes self-loathing/trying to hide from the world and myself. The oversize glasses just reinforce the effect.

      • KromulentKristen

        l0b0t – did you see the link I posted the other day for the “Rural Juror” song I ripped from Youtube?

      • l0b0t

        I did, and it was fabulous.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      She kind of looks like a young boy. Maybe she does look like what the fashion designers look for in a model.

    • rhywun

      *clicks link*

      OFFS.

    • Animal

      …a month after she turned heads stomachs at the inauguration.

      • rhywun

        *snort*

    • Endless Mike

      The graft from the oligarchy continues; that being said, I thought the coat she wore with the leaves on the shoulders was kind of cool.

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      That’s gotta be a payoff for something.

      • C. Anacreon

        What would you give to be a fly on the wall for that inevitable day “what do you mean I didn’t make it to the top on my talent alone? I would have achieved the same level regardless of who my stepmother was, right ? Right????”

    • Agent Cooper

      It’s a cult. They live in a cult. We don’t but the people with zero objectivity do.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Voting for his preferred candidates will prevent cold snaps?

    • kbolino

      I agree, we should be building more nuke plants.

    • SDF-7

      Right… because officals who *do* believe in climate change certainly aren’t pushing to eliminate usage of natural gas… or have more windmills… or anything like that, Mr. King. :eyeroll:

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Am rereading his writing memoir, and wondering when he went from sane and amiable to of lost mind.

      • kbolino

        Didn’t he have a bad stroke?

      • EvilSheldon

        It was when he stopped drinking. Seriously.

      • rhywun

        I was going to say it was after his last coke bender wore off.

      • DEG

        #metoo

      • Bobarian LMD

        Gerald’s Game/ When he got run over.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Dunno about any stroke. Memoir was written in second Clinton administration, both before and after his accident.

      • UnCivilServant

        So are you saying he needed a ghostwriter? Or that the ghostwriter went off the rails?

      • zwak

        If by rails you mean lines of cocaine, then yes.

      • The Notarious GT

        On Writing? That was the text for a fiction writing course I took online from our local community college a couple of years ago. I enjoyed it, but have never been able to get into any of his fiction.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Yeah, that one.

    • Gadfly

      If anything, this cold snap has made me pro-climate change, and I will not vote for people who want to stop it (I mean, I didn’t previously, but that was solely on economic/liberty concerns, now I’m adding climate concerns to the list of reasons). Let’s turn up the thermostat and finally end the current ice age.

    • Lady Z

      He’s a jerk, but I’m still going to keep reading his books.

    • rhywun

      So wait, we’ve pivoted back to “global cooling”…?

      • Ownbestenemy

        We pivot to whatever will keep the grants and cash flowing in.

      • Bobarian LMD

        That’s the nice thing about a pivot…

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        “Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, I have others.”

  17. Count Potato

    “More than a dozen Portland police officers were drafted in to guard dumpsters outside a Fred Meyer from hungry residents seeking food that had been thrown out when the store freezers failed in the winter storms.

    Around 14 cops descended on the Hollywood West Fred Meyer store in Northeast Portland, Oregon, Tuesday and threatened to arrest a group of around 20 activists who said they were trying to salvage the mountain of wasted produce to take to emergency weather shelters.

    Fred Meyer said its staff were concerned the food – which included everything from lobster tails to cheese and juices and joints of meat – was no longer safe to eat.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9274341/More-dozen-Portland-police-officers-guard-Fred-Meyer-dumpsters-hungry-residents.html

    OFFS!!

    • LCDR_Fish

      TBF, in this specific context, what would folks be saying if a lot of folks did get food poisoning and/or died? Pretty sure there’d be some other lawsuits or complaints.

      • kbolino

        That such a lawsuit might prevail seems like the bigger concern.

    • Chipwooder

      Now wait a minute – wasn’t there an actual legal decision that says anything thrown into the trash is fair game for anyone to take?

      • R C Dean

        I suspect you’re right, and I suspect Meyer would get sued anyway if anyone got sick dumpster diving behind their store. They should dump bleach on it rather than call the cops.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Just for the police to snoop into your discard lives; not to get what is most likely, okay to probably shouldn’t attempt to eat it cast out foods.

      • Chipwooder

        Yes, I think you’re right about the nature of the case.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I am glad you understood whatever the heck I was trying to type out.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Normal discards, no issue. Discards because the freezer went out and it went bad (or suspected of being bad) – significant concern.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Depends on when and how they tossed them. Some of those photos show near frozen goods still, but who knows.

      • RBS

        It’s a thorny legal issue, alright. I’ll need to refer to the case of Finders vs. Keepers.

      • DEG

        Not in New Hampshire. As far as I know, that 2003 ruling still stands.

  18. limey

    CPRM ripped me a new cornhole in the links this morning, which I respect very much.

    I concede most (perhaps all) points, even if the nature of these points is somewhat subjective, by virtue of your greater experience and exposure to the late Mr. Limbaugh

    I suppose, in my magnanimity, I risk a certain contempt by folding like a rickety lawn chair, but I just wanted to acknowledge that there’s no hard feelings and I appreciate your candour, sir. You have bested me. Good day.

  19. The Late P Brooks

    Pay no attention to that train wreck behind the curtain

    Inflation expectations are detaching themselves from reality, meaning markets might be overplaying the rise in U.S. Treasury yields, according to Carl Weinberg, chief economist at High Frequency Economics.

    Global markets have been rattled in the last 24 hours after the yield on the benchmark U.S. 10-year Treasury note climbed above 1.3% for the first time since February 2020, while the 30-year bond also hit its highest level for a year. Yields move inversely to bond prices.

    Yields tend to rise with inflation expectations as bond investors start to believe central banks will take their foot off the gas and reduce their asset purchases. Higher yields can also mean more debt servicing for major firms, which tends to knock stock markets as traders reassess the environment for investing.

    Or, you know, investors might finally be getting the message that holding US treasuries is not a smart long term play.

  20. R C Dean

    Pretty sure Bob Dole isn’t a Senator. Stage 4 lung cancer – damn. I doubt he has long.

    • Ted S.

      People here still refer to Mr. Napolitano as “Judge”.

      And Bob Dole is 97 years old. He probably didn’t have long even if he didn’t have cancer.

      • Bobarian LMD

        COVID will get him first.

    • SP

      Yes, I absolutely detest the “title for life” bullshit. It’s a job. No longer hold the job? No longer use the title.

      • Lachowsky

        You no like the American Aristocracy?

      • Nephilium

        The girlfriend has gotten tired of me refusing to refer to any of the British royals/knights/etc by their title.

        “We fought a war so we didn’t have to respect titles”.

      • Mojeaux

        “That old lady who lives in Buckingham Palace.”

      • Cowboy

        The Wee Free Men! Nae king! Nae quin! Nae laird! Nae master! We willna’ be fooled again!

      • Tonio

        Something, something, shall grant no titles of nobility, something.

      • kbolino

        Humanity gonna human, time after time

      • Ownbestenemy

        However if you fall, it will not catch you, and it will not be waiting.

      • limey

        On the flip side, it’s fun to say “President Trump” and be technically correct.

      • limey

        Addendum: that’s the sort of thing that’s gets quoted out of context at my “extremism” trial to prop up the claim that I am a “QAnon conspiracy theorist” or something.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Last night it somehow came up that I have never seen 2001: A Space Odyssey.

    I have never managed to stay awake through it.

  22. The Other Kevin

    I always liked Space Oddity, but they had it in that Secret Life of Walter Mitty movie and it took it to a new level for me.

    • Tundra

      I was surprised how much I enjoyed that movie.

    • The Other Kevin

      I’m a sucker for any movie where the hero is in a shitty life situation and reinvents himself. For that reason, I really liked Chef.

  23. Count Potato

    “THREAT THREAD: Today @United Airlines shared the travel itinerary of Senator @tedcruz with members of the media and as a result, the public at large. His flight information is being included in tweets to/from mainstream media including @CNN and @Acosta”

    https://twitter.com/amuse/status/1362478077016637441

    “9/ UPDATE: Sources at the FAA report that there have been more than a dozen bomb threats for the flight Senator Cruz is reportedly booked on.”

    https://twitter.com/amuse/status/1362490486833864704

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      I was wondering when manifests became public.

      • grrizzly

        United has always had standby and upgrade lists available online for each flight. The only privacy measure is that you see only the first three letters of the last name and the initial. As long as you know person’s name, you can often see their seat assignment.

    • RBS

      Much tolerance.

    • LJW

      What exactly do they expect Cruz to do? Make the weather go away? Turn the power back on?I don’t blame anyone for fleeing Texas at this time.

      • Chipwooder

        It would be one thing were he the governor, but he’s a senator. He has virtually no role in any of this.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Everyone knows that but its easier to continue the class warfare. Cruz has the means to leave (on a much planned vacation) than the mother who huddled in her garage and died from engine exhaust!

      • The Hyperbole

        Thank god he wasn’t caught dancing.

      • Fourscore

        I think he’s Catholic, not Baptist, so it would be OK.

      • J. Frank Parnell

        but muh optics.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        It’s all optics but he should’ve known this would happen, the guy’s not stupid.

    • R C Dean

      Indictments for “incitement” of terrorism in 3, 2, . . .

    • Not Adahn

      Yanno, you’d think that even the dem senartors could conceive that this tactic will be used against them.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Id say I have all that access to much more relevant information than flight numbers; but the watchful eye of the government says I am a veteran and am prone to white supremacy so I don’t.

    • Ownbestenemy

      The Bee to the rescue.

  24. RBS

    Sure, give the teachers the vaccine. Then send them back to work.

    • UnCivilServant

      Why do you hate children? Exposing them to those teachers is evil.

    • Suthenboy

      We have already been assured by the experts that being immune to the cootie bugs doesnt stop transmission because…you know, that Is how that works.

    • But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

      Better yet, give the teachers the vaccine. And then fire their asses.

  25. Lachowsky

    for anyone interested. Scott Horton’s new book is out. It could be titled “A concise history of American stupidity in the MiddleEast” I ordered one yesterday.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Scott’s great for foreign policy wonks, I listened to him talking about Syria this AM:

      https://youtu.be/jjdEjgU3FKc

      What a mess.

    • Tundra

      I’ve been reading it. It’s brutal but so fucking good. I’m reading about Syria now.

  26. But Enough About [this space intentionally left blank]

    2001: A Space Odyssey blew my mind when I first saw it in the theatre.

    And unlike most of the audience, I wasn’t even high on anything.

  27. Gadfly

    Bye, Bob.

    The news story here is that Bob Dole is still alive.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      ?

  28. Count Potato

    “Absolutely Incredible Cultural moment

    Twitter’s Birdwatch correctly noted that my tweet about TIME Magazine’s article on “fortifying” the election was CORRECT

    Poynter is furious that fact checking worked and is calling it a problem”

    https://twitter.com/Timcast/status/1362456949430906885

    “The Poynter Institute for Media Studies, which operates the fact-checking site PolitiFact, published an article on Thursday criticizing users of Birdwatch, Twitter’s experimental crowd-sourced fact-checking platform, for failing to identify a tweet by Tim Pool as false.

    The original tweet by Tim Pool cited an article from TIME Magazine asserting that the Democrats and their aligned activists manipulated the laws of numerous states in order to “fortify” the election in Joe Biden’s favour. Pool had asserted that this means the election was “rigged.”

    Twitter shut off all retweets and replies to the tweet, asserting that there was a “risk of violence.” They cite fact-checkers who note that there is no evidence of enough electoral or voter fraud to have swung the 2020 presidential election, despite Pool never claiming that voter fraud changed the results.”

    https://thepostmillennial.com/fact-checking-organization-furious-that-twitters-fact-checking-tool-wasnt-biased-against-tim-pool

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      “risk of violence”

      Must be inherent in the system.

    • Endless Mike

      Ummon Karpe
      @The_Equationist
      Replying to
      @Timcast
      I don’t think you understand what “rigged” means. A cabal of elites coming together to prevent voter suppression and suppress unfounded claims of fraud is hardly a “rigged” election.

      https://twitter.com/The_Equationist/status/1362458174222000128

      They really don’t even glance at the words that pour out of their own mouths.

      • R C Dean

        A cabal of elites coming together to prevent voter suppression and suppress unfounded claims of fraud is hardly a “rigged” election.

        They just jump right over the part where the expressed goal of the cabal was to get Biden elected.

        Because a cabal of elites coming together to undermine election security and control information about the election is exactly a “rigged” election. Would Biden have won without it? Nobody knows, but I seriously doubt it. I recall a survey shortly after the election that showed that if the Hunter Biden story hadn’t been suppressed, enough Dems wouldn’t have voted for him to switch the outcome.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        They definitely skipped right over the part where they said they “controlled the flow of information” and other such bullshit details.

  29. KromulentKristen

    Fuckin’ politics. Had a team meeting today where we discussed this Trump-era program. They like the program, but because it’s a Trump thing, they’re simply going to rename & rebrand it.

    Also the U.S. Embassy in Baghdad is under Ordered Departure. Thanks, President Puddin Cup!

    • Gustave Lytton

      What’s left to depart? There’s been two years of ordered departures.

      • Ownbestenemy

        The rest of the diplomats that Biden promised we would do more of instead of bombing and bring the light back into the world?

    • Tonio

      That is srsly no bueno. About the embassy that is.

  30. J. Frank Parnell

    When did Bob Dole start referring to Bob Dole in the first person?

    • UnCivilServant

      When Bob Dole got lung cancer.

  31. UnCivilServant

    My food processor arrived today.

    I made a carrot and parsnip puree as a test.

    I got the spice mix wrong (too strong on the ginger) but the food processor worked just fine.

    • Not Adahn

      Food processors really are faboo.

      • Chipwooder

        Enormous pain in the ass to clean, though

      • UnCivilServant

        There’s only six million pieces. I mean, it all comes apart.

      • Suthenboy

        Take food out. Refill with warm, soapy water. Turn back on let run for 30 seconds.

      • Ownbestenemy

        ^^ Cleaning kitchen tools is not a complicated process.

      • UnCivilServant

        That process would not have done the job. Just by where I had to wash stuff out. Maybe I shouldn’t have opened the lid so often and gotten material in that joint.

      • Suthenboy

        Ah. I keep a toothbrush next to the sink for things like that.

      • Ownbestenemy

        We call that a ‘Ralph Toothbrush’ named after one of my NCOs in the military that never heard of a toothbrush and generally retains items in its bristles that we could see in his teeth. Does the job well.

      • rhywun

        Thank you.

        Their best album.

  32. Nephilium

    Now for the venting. I just got tagged on an e-mail for a fairly substantial change that was supposed to happen tomorrow. The person who was originally working on it is no longer with the company (for several very good reasons). Of course, that person didn’t have any change documentation, plans, or anything. I was given three scripts (that just needed to be renamed), and a Visio of the new flow.

    After an hour long fucking meeting today, I think I’ve finally got everything that needs done documented and confirmed. And of course they want to make the changes to the call flows during the work day tomorrow afternoon.

    What can possibly go wrong?

    • UnCivilServant

      What can possibly go wrong?

      Your paycheck might bounce.

  33. J. Frank Parnell

    Apparently someone made a typo on an email address on a Brazilian job board, so now I’m getting flooded with resumes from Brazilian people.

    This is almost as much fun as the time some realtor screwed up their call forwarding and I kept getting calls from people wanting to rent my vacation home.

    • Sean

      Ask for nudes.

  34. The Late P Brooks

    Headline says:

    US Life Expectancy Falls!

    I did not read it, but what that indicates to me is the absence of randomness in the victims. It predominantly kills old people. I doubt anybody is emphasizing that, though.

    • kbolino

      Overall life expectancy is almost meaningless, except as a dick-measuring contest between countries. As my grandfather liked to quip, past the age of about 75, his life expectancy kept going up (he’s pushing 100 now, though definitely worse for the wear).

      There’s too many uncontrolled input variables to really meaningfully assess a person’s life expectancy so coarsely.

  35. zwak

    (to repost from the last thread, which was suffering from lesbian thread death)

    So, to go OT for a second, I am hoping that California Glibs can help me. Is there a good website that shows the current state of California’s covid restrictions? I am possibly going to be passing through part of the state for one night, going from Reno to Redding, and then home to Oregon. Can I do this? Will I be able to get a hotel and then do I have to eat drive-through? Inquiring minds want to know!

    What is the What?

    • one true athena

      You will definitely be able to get a hotel, because you could do that even under the Super Violet lockdown. (whether the hotel was open or had space is a different issue, so you should probably check ahead of time). Outdoor dining is open everywhere I believe. Redding is Shasta county, so this is their covid site; https://www.co.shasta.ca.us/ready/covid-19/overview Looks like the county officially isn’t implementing anything harder than the state, and quite possibly enforcing less

    • Gustave Lytton

      Have fun on the great escape! Was just looking at the road cams on Trip Check. Siskiyous doesn’t look so bad at the moment.

    • zwak

      Coolio, thanks everyone. Next month I am taking a long loop, going through east Washington, Idaho, Montana, Yellowstone, Idaho again, Utah, Nevada, California and then home. Plan to visit my Bro in Reno, and swing through CA, were I lived for 40+ years. Hoping a couple of my favorite (book) dealers are around to help keep me in supply.

      Got that state has gone to hell.

  36. Lady Z

    Went for a nice walk earlier – the dog was climbing the walls after almost week with no dog park visits and the sun was shining. A couple of observations:

    1) Texans make really ugly snowmen
    2) The dog is amazingly adept at finding cat poop under 6 inches of snow

    • Ownbestenemy

      Maybe they just watched Return of the Jedi and had a spark of lazy inspiration?

      • Lady Z

        I’d agree with you, but I passed many with the same lack of shapeliness. Snowmen should have curves, dammit!

      • Nephilium

        Shouldn’t those be snowwomen then?

      • Ownbestenemy

        That’s a movement I could get my hands on helping to build from the ground up.

      • Lady Z

        I’m sorry, I should have said “snowpeople“. :rolls eyes

    • Nephilium

      You could just point out to Sloopy that he needs to step up his game.

      There’s a house that used to be on my way to the office that would build a house sized snowman in their yard every year they could.

    • Old Man With Candy

      Mine always preferred them from the cat box. “Mmmm, crunchy on the outside, creamy on the inside!”

      • Ownbestenemy

        Tasty crystal covered poop treats.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Fish flavored!

    • DEG

      That snowman reminds me of Mr. Creosote.

      • pistoffnick

        +1 tiny tadger

        +1 wafer thin mint

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      Texans also don’t know the first thing about driving in the snow. Things encountered in a 8 mile round trip:

      -People doing 15 in a 55 on dry pavement
      -People getting stuck on medians trying to make a left out of a right turn only lane
      -People swerving between the two sets of tracks in the snow
      -People riding their brakes downhill around a curve across a snow covered bridge
      -Massive disregard for the increased buffer needed to turn on red
      – So many pickups with nothing in the bed fishtailing all over the place
      – A disturbing number of cars and trucks pointed in random directions not remotely correlated to the flow of traffic.
      -Aggressive assholes doing speed limit + 10 on the snow with their 4WDs, slipping and sliding on and off the road
      -A guy on a 4 wheeler running a red light across 5 lanes of traffic and nearly getting speared.

      • Lady Z

        Can confirm. Though I *might* be one of those people going 15 mph – at least I stay in the right lane. Seguin is trying to get me to take a hazardous driving course.

      • Suthenboy

        You misspelled ‘Louisiana’.

        Right now the roads are underivable but even when the ice skating rink conditions are gone I am not driving anywhere until the snow is melted. That could be tomorrow afternoon or Saturday.

        I am rationing cigarettes.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        If the sun comes out, it won’t take long even if the temp is still below freezing.

        That was a big surprise for me when I moved from Florida to where there is ice and snow. That even below freezing the snow will melt vigorously if the sun is shining.

  37. The Late P Brooks

    Unfalsifiable claims, FTW!

    What will it take to finally halt the spread of the coronavirus in the U.S.? To answer that question we’ve created a simulation of a mock disease we’re calling SIMVID-19.

    When you click “Run Simulation” above, you are witnessing how a disease can spread through a population and how increased levels of vaccination can stop it in its tracks.

    We’re chosen to simulate a fake disease since there are too many unknowns to simulate the course of COVID-19.

    Somebody might use real world observational data of the snifflecooties’ behavior to shoot holes in our bullshit assumptions about contagiousness and lethality, so we’re going to completely immunize our model from pesky reality by using a “theoretical” virus which will dance solely to our tune and no one else’s.

    SCIENCE!

    • Suthenboy

      “What will it take to finally halt the spread of the coronavirus in the U.S.? To answer that question we’ve created a simulation of a mock disease we’re calling SIMVID-19…….. there are too many unknowns to simulate the course of COVID-19.”

      What the fuck are these assholes talking about?

      • Ownbestenemy

        Passing on shiny objects that old people can click and see a bunch of red dots so they remain in perpetual fear.

      • EvilSheldon

        Young people. It’s the young people, psychologically damaged by two generations of shitty safety-obsessive parenting, who are really a’feart of the Cooties.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        psychologically damaged by two generations of shitty safety-obsessive parenting

        Safety obsessive is just the beginning of it. It’s completely unbalanced parenting executed by a culture of emotional children.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I have one kid that likes to get physicals. However! He wanted to get it because he was a butterball of a 10year old and once I retrieved him from the clutches of his mother, he is now a lean 5’10 teen. He wanted to make sure he didn’t develop any issues during his fat days.

        Also, we have a saying in our family – we are the blood that others want because we have no diseases in our family; except my dad who smoked since like 12 or so and developed throat cancer.

    • R C Dean

      We’re chosen to simulate a fake disease since there are too many unknowns to simulate the course of COVID-19.

      Which is what every single model that has been used to drive the pandemic response has done. Nice to see an admission that they are all crap.

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      I’m old enough to remember when they told us that mask wearing would halt the spread.

  38. The Late P Brooks

    What the fuck are these assholes talking about?

    Mumbo jumbo makes the world go round.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I want to get a grant to develop a model that analyzes the proliferation of bugus epidemiological models during a pandemic.

  39. Mojeaux

    I too have not seen 2001: Space Odyssey.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Best seen with LSD, like Fantasia

      • Ownbestenemy

        +1 High School Senior trip was at Disneyland and they still had the Main Street Electric Parade…I don’t know how I am not crazy and I finally made it to second base with a girl that shared classes with me since 7th grade that night.

  40. The Late P Brooks

    Public servants

    Residents in one Bay Area community are demanding that several school board members resign after the officials were captured on video disparaging parents in frank and profane ways as tensions mount over prolonged campus closures.

    “It’s really unfortunate that they want to pick on us because they want their babysitters back,” Oakley Union Elementary School Board President Lisa Brizendine said in a recording of a board meeting posted Wednesday on YouTube. Brizendine and other trustees of the small district about 50 miles east of San Francisco are shown lamenting parent frustrations throughout the eight-minute clip, apparently not realizing until too late that their discussion was airing live.

    The situation reflects the unprecedented levels of tension within California school communities after most classrooms have been shut for nearly a year. Parents are forming “Open Schools Now” organizations and mobilizing like never before, airing their grievances on social media groups and testifying at board meetings. Teachers unions and district administrators are facing growing pressure to reopen campuses in a state that is now among the last to bring students back.

    ——-

    School board member Richie Masadas insinuates on the call that parents are frustrated with distance learning because they aren’t able to smoke marijuana as much. Masadas says he knows a medical marijuana deliveryman, “and the clientele were parents with their kids in school.” His comments are received with hearty laughter, as Masadas says parents are frustrated they can no longer “smoke up” without in-person instruction as an option.

    Masadas also says of the school board’s critics that “it’s easy to hide behind their screens” and “when you’re face-to-face with people, it’s a whole different ballgame.”

    Beede is notified that the meeting is being recorded live, then says, “Uh-oh.” The board members then scramble to turn off their videos, as Brizendine says “Nuh-uh.”

    “Great,” another says.

    It’s not like they’re going to get fired for openly disparaging the people they work for.

    That’s for the little people.

    • Muzzled Woodchipper

      Every teacher who refuses to go back should be fired and barred from teaching ever again.

    • Gustave Lytton

      “I was going to lynch the school but then I got high.

      I was going to write a strongly worded letter but then I got high.

      I was going to let them know how mad I was but I didn’t and you know why?

      Because I got high. Because I got high. Because I got high.”

    • R C Dean

      It’s really unfortunate that they want to pick on us because they want their babysitters back

      Way to admit teachers are glorified babysitters.

      • EvilSheldon

        “…when you’re face-to-face with people, it’s a whole different ballgame.”

        And that distance learning is largely nonsense.

      • rhywun

        She’s not wrong.

    • Muzzled Woodchipper

      School board member Richie Masadas insinuates on the call that parents are frustrated with distance learning because they aren’t able to smoke marijuana as much.

      School board member Richie Masadas insinuates on the call that parents are frustrated with distance learning because they aren’t able to smoke marijuana as much.

      FIFY

  41. The Late P Brooks

    Fake placebos- what’ll they think of next?

    Federal agents have seized more than 10 million fake 3M brand N95 masks in recent weeks, the result of an ongoing investigation into counterfeits sold in at least five states to hospitals, medical facilities and government agencies.

    The most recent seizures occurred Wednesday when Homeland Security agents intercepted hundreds of thousands of counterfeit 3M masks in an East Coast warehouse that were set to be distributed, officials said.

    Investigators also notified about 6,000 potential victims in at least 12 states including hospitals, medical facilities and others who may have unknowingly purchased knockoffs, urging them to stop using the medical-grade masks. Officials encouraged medical workers and companies to go to 3Ms website for tips on how to spot fakes.

    “Not only do they give a false sense of security, how dangerous is the exposed individual without any protective gear? They have no utility whatsoever,” Homeland Security Secretary Ali Mayorkas said of the fake masks.

    Same as the rest of the mask kabuki, then.

    • LCDR_Fish

      Probably made in China. The ADV China guys did a video of fake masks they got from Amazon last year.

    • zwak

      And they would still be as good as the generic “face covering” that we are all told to wear.

      Fuck this whole thing is stupid.

  42. The Late P Brooks

    The phony masks are not tested to see whether they meet strict N95 standards and could put frontline medical workers at risk if they are used while treating patients with COVID-19.

    Oh, horror.

    • LJW

      So they’re admitting cloth masks don’t work?

      • Ownbestenemy

        Considering that when you buy them in a store its right there on the package that “this does not protect you from….”

      • R C Dean

        “My mask protects you, and your mask protects me”

        Just ignore those experiments showing some cloth masks actually increase aerosolization, and thus transmissibility of any viruses you might have.

      • EvilSheldon

        Also that I don’t give a fuck about protecting you, and would rather you not protect me. Playing good citizen fuck-fuck games is exhausting, and I have better things to jerk off to…

      • grrizzly

        My immune system protects me. Your filthy mask has no effect on my protection.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Not according to the WHO. You need their SCIENCE! for your immune system to work. This is known circa 2020.

      • Mojeaux

        SCIENCE! denies immune systems.

      • Mojeaux

        My immune system protects me.

        That.

      • Ownbestenemy

        +1 rub some dirt in it, +10 place a bag of peas over it, +10000 place this slab of ribeye over your eye.

      • The Notarious GT

        As I’ve said before, I strengthen my immune system by neglecting housework.

      • zwak

        Tragedy of the commons writ large.

  43. DEG

    “‘2001’ is a good movie even when you aren’t stoned” – a friend’s Catholic high school chemistry teacher.

    I haven’t watched “2001” while stoned, but I have watched it. It’s a good movie.

    I read the book too.

    They say the beer made there may have been used in sacred burial rituals for Ancient Egypt’s first kings.

    That’s a good way to go.

    Vice President Harris on Wednesday emphasized the need for teachers to be given priority when it comes to receiving coronavirus vaccines.

    Go fuck yourself. I tapped out here.

    I tapped out on the Slate article when I saw the picture of a kid wearing a face diaper. Fuck.

    Trebek’s family has donated a portion of his personal wardrobe—much of it worn on-air—to The Doe Fund.

    Established in 1990, The Doe Fund has provided jobs, vocational training, education, and social services to more than 28,000 “underserved Americans” coping with addiction, homelessness, and a history of incarceration.

    🙂

    • Pope Jimbo

      If you get the movie to watch, pay attention at the very beginning. You can see where our ancestors met way back when. Truly there is nothing new under the sun.

  44. The Late P Brooks

    Muh DEMOCRACY!

    Colorado state Rep. Donald Valdez (D) on Thursday announced that he will challenge Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-Colo.) for her seat in 2022, calling the first-term congresswoman a “threat to democracy” and blaming her for helping incite the deadly Jan. 6 Capitol insurrection.

    “What happened on January 6th wasn’t just an attack on the Capitol, it was an outright assault on our democracy. They threatened to hang members of Congress. Murdered a police officer,” Valdez said in an announcement video. “And Lauren Boebert? She egged them on. That’s why I’m running against her.”

    ——-

    Boebert, who has also expressed support for the far-right QAnon conspiracy theory, has been sharply criticized for tweeting details of lawmakers’ locations during the Capitol breach. In a letter to congressional leadership shortly after the riot, 68 Colorado officials called for an investigation into Boebert’s actions before and during the siege.

    Valdez, who works as a farmer and rancher in addition to his work in the legislature, emphasized his roots and presented himself as better suited to represent the state’s 3rd Congressional District.

    “Being a true steward of the land is in my blood,” he said in the video. “Wild conspiracy theories won’t protect our water, expand rural health care or improve our schools.”

    Yeah. Anybody who voted for her is a racist Nazi who wanted to replace Congress with a military junta. They don’t deserve representation. They should be stripped of their citizenship and put in camps. That’s what DEMOCRACY means.

    Murdered a police officer! Another lie which will never die, no matter how many times it is disproved.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      “ Boebert, who has also expressed support for the far-right QAnon conspiracy theory”

      Going to have to be more specific here. But I figured this would be where things would go. They’re going to use QAnon to dismiss all election complaints.

      Lately I’m giving more credence to the idea that QAnon is a CIA disinformation campaign.

      • limey

        I wouldn’t be surprised. It’s psyops by the numbers.

      • Gustave Lytton

        That’s been my thought too. Also, a nice little breadcrumb trail to identify people who are subscribing to what they’re putting out.

    • limey

      “Fine people”, “drink bleach”, “hands up don’t shoot”, “mexican people are animals”, murdered a police officer, etc etc

      • Suthenboy

        That is just the tip of the iceberg.

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      “Our democracy” is rapidly becoming one of those meaningless phrases like “hate” or “racist” or “sustainable”.

  45. Scruffy Nerfherder

    An acquaintance who is an accomplished medical researcher is considering getting his kids vaccinated.

    I’m rather stunned.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Great thing about freedom…go for it, just don’t turn around and claim I need to follow suit based on your perceived authority.

    • UnCivilServant

      Needz moar test subjectz.

    • R C Dean

      Good luck. The current vaccines aren’t approved for kids under, I believe 16.

      In any event, young people won’t be on the priority list for getting vaccinated for months.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’m hearing some rumbling from UNC trying to get high schoolers vaccinated at the school of the arts.

        I’m getting ready to file a nastygram.

    • Pope Jimbo

      I had a coworker moaning about not being able to get her kids vaccinated.

      Tried to get her to explain why she’d want them to get a vaccine that has been hastily tested. She could not be dissuaded from thinking her kids were more at risk from dying of the Rona than from suffering some unknown long term side effect.

      A whopping total of 0 deaths in Minnesoda between 5 and 18 was still too dicey for her to risk it. And she said that they’ve been giving that vaccine out for months and nothing bad has happened so there are no long term side effects.

      Sigh. I feel bad for the kids.

      • rhywun

        Remind her that it’s “Trump’s vaccine”.

  46. The Late P Brooks

    They’re going to use QAnon to dismiss all election complaints.

    Exactly. Qanon will be the new improved all purpose smear. It’s an octane booster and a window polish. Racist is just about worn through, so they will need something new and punchier.

    • Muzzled Woodchipper

      Racist is just about worn through, so they will need something new and punchier.

      It’ll be an attack on 2 fronts. The racist fascist nazi wHiTe SuPrEmAcIsT label has a long ways to go.

      They’ve been upping the rhetoric since Obama, and stepped it up big Ky when Trump taught people to tell those calling them racist to fuck off.

      So they had to escalate, and have arrived at White Supremacy, which I’m sure minority Trump voters just LOVE.

  47. pistoffnick

    My ire towards the Safety Department continues.

    Last month they posted at least 20 signs in the parking lot reminding us that ice is slippery.

    Today, they plastered every bulleting board and sent out a company-wide email reminding us not to bump our heads. Apparently somebody on the production line bumped their head.

    Thanks Mr. Obvious

    Speaking of Mr. Obvious:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FE7YKu8apPA

    • UnCivilServant

      I take all of those over the top safety warnings and replace them with “Don’t sue us because you were a dumbass.”

    • R C Dean

      bulleting board

      I wish we had those where I work.

    • Nephilium

      At the old job the computer desktop repair bench had to lose the top shelf. Because one guy hit his head on it. It then became a “safety issue”.

  48. Pope Jimbo

    When life gives you lemons make lemonade. When a pandemic takes your job away and mandates mask wearing, start your own business.

    “Laceysniffs said she started selling masks a few months ago, at the request of a client who bought some of her used socks. She’s sold four masks so far (‘two piss scented, one ass scented, one foot scented’) but also includes them as a free bonus gift with many orders.

    “One of her masks that’s been pressed against her vulva, anus, or feet for 24 hours costs five dollars, and one that she’s urinated on and dried three times costs $10.”

    Laceysniffs explained as best as she could why people like these types of germ-infested, used masks:

    “A lot of my clientele fetishize scents, so being able to have a mask full of my fragrances pressed tightly in their face, and being able to deeply inhale my scents, can be a highly euphoric and erotic experience for some.”

    • R C Dean

      germ-infested, used masks

      As opposed to the masks people wear for days or weeks on end?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Those would be the same morons who don’t change their actual underwear and then express surprise at developing crotch rot.

    • Endless Mike

      OhmyGod the picture and the caption

    • R C Dean

      Snifffr, an adult website that facilitates the sale of mostly used and dirty panties between two parties

      It was nice of them to include the link.

    • Suthenboy

      Uhhhh….I think I will pass.

    • Lady Z

      This seems…unhygenic.

      • Suthenboy

        Yeah…I was just thinking ‘herpes lip’.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Where is straffinrun anyway?

      • limey

        Huffing Tamiya poly-cement in a parking lot while making bank selling his wife’s underdoodads to wayward sararymen?

  49. Pope Jimbo

    Gentlemen (and mythical Ladies) I give you the next big thing in Rona Panic Pron!!!

    Behold Long-Haul Covid Syndrome!!!!!

    Tens of millions of Americans have been infected with and survived COVID-19. Thankfully, many survivors get back to normal health within two weeks of getting sick, but for some COVID-19 survivors – including my patient – symptoms can persist for months. These survivors are sometimes dubbed long-haulers, and the disease process is termed “long COVID” or post-acute COVID-19 syndrome. A long-hauler is anyone who has continued symptoms after an initial bout of COVID-19.
    Numerous studies over the past few months have shown that about 1 in 3 people with COVID-19 will have symptoms that last longer than the typical two weeks. These symptoms affect not only people who were very sick and hospitalized with COVID-19, but also those with milder cases.

    Many long-haulers experience the same symptoms they had during their initial fight with COVID-19, such as fatigue, cognitive impairment (or brain fog), difficulty breathing, headaches, difficulty exercising, depression, sleep difficulty and loss of the sense of taste or smell. In my experience, patients’ symptoms seem to be less severe than when they were initially sick.

    Some long-haulers develop new symptoms as well. These can vary widely person to person, and there are reports of everything from hair loss to rapid heart rates to anxiety.

    Despite persistent symptoms, SARS-CoV-2 – the virus itself – is not detectable in most long-haulers. And without an active infection, they can’t spread the virus to others.

    So hypochondriacs?

    • R C Dean

      fatigue, cognitive impairment (or brain fog), difficulty breathing, headaches, difficulty exercising, depression, sleep difficulty and loss of the sense of taste or smells

      Except for the last, this sounds like Monday to me.

    • Tulip

      Sounds a lot like depression.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Since May of last year I told my wife this will create the most widely known group of hypochondriacs ever known.

      • Lady Z

        It’s the only way for wypipo to gain victimhood status without being trans.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Quoted for truth.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Replied too soon. I am not a run to a doctor for every sniffle etc, but there were a few days I was asking my wife “do I feel okay” after my trip to OKC. That attitude is pervasive.

      • Nephilium

        It’s just another example of the placebo effect. Everyone’s been told for over a year now that this is the new plague. Here are the symptoms. FFS, you could probably get a decent number of people to start developing psychosomatic symptoms if a rash was a common symptom of the ‘vid.

      • Lady Z

        Nothing wrong with that – while it’s not ever going to be the plague being pushed by TMITE, it’s not fun to be sick or to lose your sense of smell.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Just like influenza or other existing respiratory diseases that can and do cause lingering, long term, or even permanent related issues such as organ damage. Ignorance is bliss.

    • Ted S.

      Every one of these stories I’ve seen, the patients look like the same sort of women who would be complaining of fibromyalgia or other diseases that suddenly see an uptick of cases.

      • rhywun

        +1 gender dysphoria

    • DEG

      No face diapers + top notch content = excellent gallery.

    • Tundra

      I am surprised to see you here.

      But thanks!

  50. KromulentKristen

    I told my neighbor that I didn’t want her to “pop in” this weekend. I need a guaranteed 48 hours on my own. After I talk to the Zoom degenerates on Friday, I hope to utter not a single word (except to the dog) until Monday at the earliest.

  51. westernsloper

    RE linked song. I have always loved that Bowie tune. As I drove out of my driveway at 0505 this morning I saw a “shooting star” so low I could see the flaming particles in its tail leaving the burning ball of flame. Behind it I could see the lights of the town 7 or 8 miles away up the valley about a thousand + feet or so above me. I have never seen a shooting star/space junk burn up that low. It was very cool.

    • Suthenboy

      It is cool. Once one passed over my head close enough that I could hear the sizzling rock?/metal?
      It couldn’t have been more than a couple of hundred feet over me. The tail had a green tinge so I was guessing copper content. I dunno, but it was cool as hell mostly because it did not hit me.

    • KromulentKristen

      Droooool

    • Ownbestenemy

      You should and should showcase it tomorrow night. Im pissing of Tonio and dumped the beard/goatee

      • KromulentKristen

        ?

        Who does that?

      • Ownbestenemy

        Bored men who need constant change in their lives but don’t want to walk out on their wives and see that as ‘enough of a change’ to satisfy Sag in me.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Also…its like 2 weeks worth. As mentioned in the previous thread, I can find family back to Norway/Denmark to the 1300s…

  52. westernsloper

    Also RE 2001: It was either 2001 or 2010 but one of those were the first movie I saw really stoned. The year of viewing was 1984 and the location was the couch of a house shared by 5 ski bums one of them being me. My guess is it was 2001 because I doubt 2010 was not out on VHS yet. All I know is I was baked more than ten hippys in a volkswagon van. It was a religious experience. Mind. Blown. is all I remember and something about a big monolith, some weird sentient computer and a dude named Dave. But then again I was really really baked. Hell one of my house mates cat was in the room and he was stoned.

  53. KSuellington

    Kamala Harris’ stepdaughter Ella Emhoff makes her runway debut at New York Fashion Week after signing with IMG Models – a month after she turned heads at the inauguration”

    Damn, that is one homely looking chick. She looks like Elliot Gould after a three day crack bender.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Shades of Michelle Obama and the tongue bath they gave her

    • limey

      I bet Elliot Gould could still act the pants off of any role after a three day crack bender.

  54. Flawgic

    I’ve tried watching it many times and always fall asleep. Not enough Wookies!

    Also…last!