WDBH: I’m addicted to these freakin’ noodles, man.

by | Feb 24, 2021 | WebDom’s Browser History | 286 comments

Well, I learned something fun today…

I am a bartender, and I also work online and do websites, social media management, etc. My 4 year old ASUS PC is on the fritz. I spend more time fighting with it than I do actually getting any work done, and it’s been only getting worse. Half the time it doesn’t turn on. Sometimes it turns on but the screen doesn’t turn on. It’s a mess.

I can’t keep spending 2hrs of a 4hr block of work trying to get the computer to cooperate. I need a new computer, and a stable computer at that.

After much deliberation, I decided, “Fuck it. I’m getting a MacBook Pro.” In the last couple weeks I earned enough in tips to pay cash for a brand new MacBook Pro. This is all happy, right?

But…I don’t have a local bank account. The bank in town exploits its customers in a way that I refuse to be party to, so I have one of those digital banks. I’ve been very happy with my bank except for the fact that I can’t just take a picture of cash and have it appear in my bank account.

So I go to Wegmans and I buy $2900 in Amazon gift cards.

But, because of fucking United States Government bullshit, I got put in a money laundering database. My driver’s license. My social security number. Phone number. Address. I had to explain who the cards were for and what I was doing with them.

The law says there is a $10k daily limit on purchasing gift cards, but turns out if you purchase $2,001 in any 24hr period, you have to go through all this money laundering bullshit, and you’re stored in a database forever.

That fucking pissed me off. Had I known, I would’ve split it up into two transactions at two different stores.

So, file that away under useful information. $2,001 in gift card purchases, and you go in a database.

Anyway, onto my browser history.

I’m on a food kick this week, and a lot of my browser history is largely related to edibles (but not that kind).

OMWC turned me onto these noodles while I was visiting Arizona. They’re phenomenal. Like instant ramen but with flavour.

Do Taco Bell sauce packets go bad?

Here’s how to work with plant-based meats, because, frankly, most people treat it like actual meat.

And speaking of food, I’ve been reading this study about how inflammation from our diet can lead to heart disease. This is something my cardiologist has talked about a lot in the past, so every time more information comes out, I gobble it up.

I’ve been reading about my favourite Turk, Mehmed II.

And also about the remains of a recently discovered Mayan palace.

Based on your zodiac, which Pokemon type are you?

Hyperinflation

And for your listening pleasure, a continual stream of lo-fi beats.

About The Author

WebDom

WebDom

WebDom grows Peyote buttons in the vast desert of her mind.

286 Comments

  1. Count Potato

    “The law says there is a $10k daily limit on purchasing gift cards, but turns out if you purchase $2,001 in any 24hr period, you have to go through all this money laundering bullshit, and you’re stored in a database forever.”

    OFFS!!

    • rhywun

      I’m surprised it’s even that high. Isn’t the cash withdrawal threshold that turns you into a drug dealer like $1K? Or am I misremembering.

      • Count Potato

        It’s $10K, but if you do a bunch of smaller transactions then it’s called “structuring” so they can prosecute you for obeying the law.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        I don’t think there is a structuring threshold or related limit for withdrawing cash. Cash already in the system is considered legitimately obtained. It’s depositing cash or purchasing in cash that triggers structuring flags and the 10k limit for money laundering.

        I have heard anecdotal reports of people being asked to provide a reason by their bank when they’re withdrawing large amounts of cash, but I think this is shadowy Patriot Act shit without clear guidelines or thresholds.

        I have a $500 daily limit on ATM withdrawals imposed by the bank. I think this is to deter robberies/fraud. I found out going to multiple ATMs still won’t circumvent it.

      • rhywun

        I had to pay my shady landlords 750 bucks in cash every month for 7 years – what a PITA. I’m surprised I didn’t wind up in a federal pen.

      • Count Potato

        “I don’t think there is a structuring threshold or related limit for withdrawing cash.”

        There is because you are then either “depositing cash or purchasing in cash”.

      • DrOtto

        +1 suspicious activity report

      • Rat on a train

        Structuring, a crime for avoiding a threshold for reporting an activity that isn’t itself a crime.

  2. Scruffy Nerfherder

    That sucks, but good to know. Thank you for the tip.

    • Web Dominatrix

      Yeah, wish I knew that!

  3. rhywun

    Instant fried noodles? OMG, take my money.

    • Web Dominatrix

      They’re sooooooo good.

      • rhywun

        Ordered. I haven’t seen these at my usual market or I probably would have tried them.

      • But Enough About Me. Why? Why not?

        We have a wonderful East Asian market in Canada called T&T; used to be an independent chain and got bought by Loblaws a few years ago, who had the good sense to not interfere with the management of the chain. T&T’s stacked to the rafters with dozens and dozens of different varieties of these types of noodles from every major country in South/East Asia. There are wonderful types and flavours of noodles which we sad round-eyes can barely dream of.

        They’re cheap, too.  ;-)

  4. rhywun

    Everything I like to eat will kill me. Film at 11.

    /trade-offs

    • pistoffnick

      LIFE will kill you. We might as well eat tasty things while we wait around for death.

  5. KromulentKristen

    I like Suleyman best, mainly because of his wife. And the architecture.

    • limey

      How controversial is it to advocate for Atatürk here?

      • KromulentKristen

        * shrug *

        I admire him in a lot of ways. In a lot of ways he was a garden variety narcissist nationalist politician.

      • limey

        They leads me onto some extra thinkin’ I’ve been doing about “nationalism”, how culture matters, and a sort of three-dimensional libertarian philosophy that is more reconciled with a lot of what is nowadays lumped in with nationalism/populism.

        There’s a significant minority among the glibs who I imagine would kick back pretty hard, and maybe a couple who think I don’t go far enough. I don’t know until I write it all down and organise my thoughts, but I haven’t the time until I make the time. We’ll see. I’ll put it in the forum if I ever get around to it.

    • Web Dominatrix

      I’m not familiar with his wife. I’ll look her up.

      • KromulentKristen

        Roxelana

    • rhywun

      I am in the mood for proselytising

      I am not in the mood for listening to your horseshit

    • KromulentKristen

      OMFG. I’d rather someone call me “bright” & “clever” than “hot” or “sexy” any fucking day. What a misogynist douche.

      Now I’m gonna read the replies. They better be good.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        I guarantee they aren’t.

        Just to make sure we never say anything g sexist to another woman ever again, maybe all men should just stop talking to them at all.

        That ought to make them feel more accepted, being as we can’t say a single goddamn thing that isn’t offensive or sexist.

      • KromulentKristen

        It’s not a woman making that ridiculous statement, though

      • rhywun

        It’s a “they/them/theirs” so your guess is as good as mine.

      • dbleagle

        I say there is only two proper responses to anybody wanting themselves to be referred to that way.
        1- Use the normal gendered words.
        2- Call them “it”.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        If it’s a man, he’s simply wondering why going the “nice” route didn’t land him some pussy, and is convinced it’s because his pickup lines are actually misogynist, and nothing to do with him.

      • limey

        Nice gams!

        “Uh, thanks. What’s a gam?”

        See, you can use olde fashioned lingo that the young ladies don’t rightly understand, and then wow them with your belt onion and your Jack Benny impersonation.

      • rhywun

        My old roommate and I had a lot of fun imitating those old 40’s and 50’s shows where every male is always going, “Yeah, see?” in that nasal Hollywood man-talk they all did back then.

      • rhywun

        LOL I love those two dopes

      • LJW

        Weird I replied with this https://youtu.be/yOMDmEP5QE0 and it didn’t post. Tried to post again it said duplicate comment. Damn squirrel’s.

      • rhywun

        heh exactly

      • EvilSheldon

        After reading the replies, I am now convinced that They are correct. Intelligence is indeed fake.

    • Web Dominatrix

      “Intelligence is a white man’s mythology.”

      This guy is quite a twatwaffle.

      • DrOtto

        Sounds like we have a consensus.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        Fucking hack.

        The only time that’s acceptable is when showing something you’ve definitively found, not something you’ve “authoritatively” opined.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        Intelligence is evil.

        Education is what matters.

      • zwak

        For those “twatwaffles”, as it was so succinctly put, Education with the capital E is the single thing that matters. It’s why they all talk about College so much, as they all went to the name-brand college. It’s never about actual learning. It really is the old finishing school, and who you know.

        The best rejoinder for most of them is “so you got an MRs degree from a finishing school? Your husband must be so proud.”

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        Intelligence allows one to think critically.

        Education allows one to spout of “facts.”

    • Chafed

      I’m not sure that’s a dude.

  6. KromulentKristen

    On the gift card thing – it’s really timely, as we were talking about scams all day. A major component of the standard overpayment scam is gift cards. It’s always large $ value gift cards. The idea of innocent victims being placed on a fucking watch list because they’re victims & naïve makes my blood boil.

    • Web Dominatrix

      Oh, yes, I think it’s absurd. I had to explain to the guy that I was buying a MacBook. “$2900 is an unusual amount. Why not $3,000?”

      “Well, after tax and a few peripherals, it comes to $2850-ish…”

  7. Gustave Lytton

    Had I known, I would’ve split it up into two transactions at two different stores.

    Structuring…

    Clearly WebDom is not one of those manufactured spend people, either.

    • commodious spittoon

      I wonder whether gift card retailers are subject to filing Suspicious Activities Reports.

    • Web Dominatrix

      Never heard of structuring before the comments on my post lol.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Give money to IJ so they can pass on all the “good” stories…

  8. Tundra

    Four Horsemen

    I have a 7 year old MacBook Air that still acts the same every goddamn day. I don’t care what anyone says, these “overpriced” machines work pretty goddamn well.

    Most chronic disease appears to be a result of inflammation. You and I definitely disagree about the solution, but I think we both agree that eating processed shit is gonna kill you, So, if you do that, fucking stop.

    I’m glad you had fun in AZ.

      • Tundra

        Mine has USB ports! Hahaha!

        But yes, that’s very true.

      • pistoffnick

        My daughter’s didn’t.

        I teased her. I dis-like Apple products.

      • rhywun

        I don’t do laptops; my 4-year-old iMac has 4 USB ports. ?‍♂️

        And two of those Lightning thingies.

      • Gustave Lytton

        The next generation of MBPs are supposed to revert to USB ports without the dongles.

    • I'm Here To Help

      My wife and I both have MacBook pros – hers is from just after the switch to the intel chips, mine from 2015. Wife just replaced the small (256GB I think) hard drive in her computer, upgrading it to a 1TB SSD, and it is like a brand new machine. Mine was absolutely maxed out when I bought it in 2015, and I haven’t seen a blip in slowdown since then. While I sometimes wish that I had a machine that I could play the few games I’m interested in, I don’t think I’ll ever go back to the 2-3 year replacement cycle on a Windows machine…

      • UnCivilServant

        W0t?

        I have never seen a 2-3 year replacement cycle on any machine, with the fastest cycle being five years. What were you doing to those poor boxes?

      • I'm Here To Help

        1. Iraq.

        2. Afghanistan.

        They were abused physically. But I did take the MacBook with me for the second half of my time in Afghanistan, and it survived without issue.

        To be perfectly honest, it is most likely that my own ineptitude in managing the bloatware on the windows machines led to their downfall. And I have a bad habit of just replacing things like that instead of trying to fix them (something I’m working on trying to get better about – I actually fixed our washer recently instead of just scrapping the thing and buying a new one)

  9. LJW

    Worked as a teller in college. The number of SARs(not the Wuhan variant) I had to file helped make me the Libertarian I am today.

    • commodious spittoon

      It makes me hope that we’re feeding far too much information into the system to be useful to anyone, but I assume the feds will just start handing over data to big tech companies with AI-driven software to analyze and start pattern recognizing drug dealers, human traffickers, and most importantly, tax cheats and crypto speculators.

      • LJW

        They aren’t catching anyone with these SARs. Criminals aren’t dumb they work their way around it. It’s just another excuse for the feds to spy on us.

      • blackjack

        Yeah, BofA just scours the records and then calls the FBI
        on their own to report anyone who paid for a room in DC on Jan. 6th. ” Hello, FBI? This is BofA and these people might have been involved. You’re welcome.”

    • Web Dominatrix

      Oh, I can imagine. I worked at a bank processing federal subpoenas when a customer was under investigation. That turned me into the Libertarian I am today.

  10. Ted S.

    No credit union in town?

    • Web Dominatrix

      Yeah, but their lobby is closed because of COVID bullshit. You can use their drive through, but you can’t go inside, so I can’t add a checking account to my savings account. It’s fucking asinine.

      • Count Potato

        You can’t do that through the window?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Or online? Mine allows you to open additional account from their account portal.

      • Ted S.

        Holy shit, even my credit union isn’t that asinine.

        Lobbies were closed for about six weeks from the start of Scumbag Cuomo’s lockdown, and individual branches closed whenever an employee failed a covid test, but they’re not generally closed.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Mine is appointment only in the branch. Of course, my nearest branch is 1500 miles away, so I use it solely for online banking.

  11. limey

    0149: I gotta pee. I’ll let you know how it goes.

    • limey

      0151: Pretty good.

      • limey

        Haha!

        WE LANDED ON THE MOON!

      • rhywun

        That’s the spirit.

      • limey

        Yes. Leaving my body.

    • rhywun

      I’ll give him a job.

  12. juris imprudent

    Cooked our first meal at home in 3 months. So nice to have a kitchen again.

    • pistoffnick

      What did you make?

      I’m trying to lose weight (I ripped the ass out of my favorite jeans), so my brain is obsessed with food. I watched the bento box lady that someone linked earlier on utube during my work breaks.

      • KromulentKristen

        I’m afraid to watch the bento box lady because I’m a sucker for meticulousness (probably because I’m the opposite and I wish I were better) – I’ll probably consume all of her videos in a day like I did with that art restoration guy.

      • UnCivilServant

        Don’t know about JI, but I made a breakfasst for dinner burrito.

        Three rashers bacon, two egg-sized purple potatos diced (with salt and pepper) two eggs scramble-fried (tried to fry, broke the yolk, ripped the white, ended up with a mess, then realized it was just going inside a tortilla anyway), one tortilla.

      • pistoffnick

        I had lettuce with ranch dressing, 2 tablespoons of sunflower seeds, and a small salmon filet. Damn, I am hungry.

      • KromulentKristen

        I had 1/2 a smoked chicken from Rocklands. Too dry. The beef rib was amazing

      • Tulip

        I had a chicken thigh and roasted butternut squash with wilted spinach and 1/2 T blue cheese. I’m stuffed.

      • Count Potato

        It was probably the half ton of blue cheese.

      • pistoffnick

        “I’m stuffed.”

        SO hateful.

      • Tulip

        One cup (approximately) and a third of a bag of spinach is filling.

      • Tulip

        One cup squash

      • pistoffnick

        I grew up poor. Single mom with two hungry boys. We had a big garden that grew a LOT of squash.

        I have only recently (within the last couple of years) been able to eat squash again.

      • Tulip

        Oh, I get it. The garden we had when I was a kid was bigger than my entire lot, and my mom boiled all vegetables. It wasn’t until I left home that I learned I actually like vegetables.

      • Fourscore

        Maybe that’s why I like fresh vegetables

      • rhywun

        I had a Boston Market frozen chicken pot pie. Hot damn those things are good. Perfect for nights I don’t feel like cooking.

      • Tulip

        One suggestion that you are free to ignore – try lots of new recipes. It’s more satisfying and less like being punished when dieting.

      • Shpip

        Wife has decided that we should try these some time in the next few days.

        I’m game.

      • Tulip

        I get that magazine.

      • I'm Here To Help

        As do I. I have a feeling it would be pretty popular among this crowd…

    • rhywun

      ? I haven’t eaten out in *counts fingers* 13 months.

      • Ted S.

        Yeah, I think Dad’s birthday in January 2020 is the last time I went out to eat.

      • pistoffnick

        *finds rhywun, the 6-fingered and 7-fingered man*

        My name is Inigo Montoya. You keeled my fadder. Prepare to die!

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        Yep.

        I e eaten take out food plenty, but have not sat down in a restaurant since this bullshit started.

      • rhywun

        I’ve eaten take-out food once in 13 months. Every other meal came out of my kitchen.

      • Tulip

        That’s impressive.

      • rhywun

        Well, I specialize in quick ‘n’ easy. Ramen or a sandwich for lunch, leftovers for dinner. The weekend is for real cookin’. It’s more cooking than I’m used to but nothing like some o’ y’all.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        With 2 kids in sports, it’s tough sometimes to cook meals. When we both have to leave well before dinner time, and don’t get back until late, takeout is the only sane way.

    • juris imprudent

      Defrosted one of my containers of spaghetti sauce and made up a batch of spaghetti – so not very diet conscious. I’ll get back on track on that myself now that I’m not having to improvise a kitchen. I’m up about 7 pounds, which is pretty normal for coming out of winter – just can’t keep up the walking (my primary exercise) when my normal time for that is cold and dark. Of course just as I get back into it, DST will screw that up for a few weeks.

      I actually made up a breakfast burrito this morning as the very first thing I cooked, for myself.

      • rhywun

        I prefer to walk after work and am delighted that it’s not pitch dark at 5 o’clock now.

      • Tulip

        I’m thrilled to be walking in the light now days. I fell two years ago and don’t want it to happen again.

      • Tres Cool

        I just woke up, since its my day-night off. Breakfast/Supper (after I knock-back some TallCans™) will likely be my special “Ghetto Chicken Florentine”.

        Pound a chicken breast to about 1/4″. Whisk together some milk + a AIG.

        1/3 cup CarbQuik (or flour for you carb people) and generous amounts of both Tony Charcre’s and EYE-talian season
        Heat iron skillet and melt 2-3 tablespoons of butter with olive oyl. Dip chicken in milk/AIG, toss in breading and fry to well-browned, turning often. Remove chicken to a plate, cover with foil to rest.

        Now- deglaze skillet with chicken broth. Add in mushrooms, diced onion, and more olive oyl as needed. Maybe some more broth. Once those are looking cooked, add in minced garlic and about 1/2 heavy cream. Keep using broth as needed.
        Then add in 1 block frozen spinach (Ideally thawed in the microwave beforehand) Mix around, and once everything is cooking down, add 1/2 block cream cheese (cubed)
        Mix well, return chicken to skillet, cover, and simmer on low heat for around 20 minutes, or however long it takes to get 2 more beers down.
        Plate and serve with shredded parmesan on top.

        YUMMERS!

      • Tulip

        Is that the one you made on zoom? That looked really good!

      • Tres Cool

        I honestly only vaguely recollect cooking on that zoom call. I really should, at some point, re-evaluate my relationship with alcohol.

        /my TV agrees

      • Tres Cool

        They’ve been pulling the strings @ DP&L for years. I guess that now, in these trying and uncertain times, they felt it was right to roll out the name change.

        Dow Thomas was crucial to Shock Theater, and wrote a lot of the music and hokey shtick for Dr. Creep (aka Barry Hobart). I still have his autograph around here someplace (Creep’s, not Dow’s).

        I like his use of ‘briar’ in that bit,.

      • Tres Cool

        “meters out in the front yard next to the WARSHin’ machine”

        Sounds like at least 30% of my family

    • SP

      We had leftover homemade hot and sour soup (vegan), and stir-fried asparagus and egg (#notvegan). Easy and quick for a weeknight when we are both beat.

      • Tres Cool

        Stir-fry AIGS and ‘sparagus sounds intriguing. Tell me more about that.

    • slumbrew

      I grilled a great, big, boneless ribeye (which I split with my wife) and had reheated mushroom risotto and sauteed swiss chard.

      We mostly cook at home, with a meal or two a week out – last night I drove a heretofore-unthinkable 20 minutes to pick up dinner from an Italian place that, once a week, does a deep kitchen cleaning and then does an all gluten-free version of their menu (wife has a legit gluten issue – I have witnessed the effects).

      Food was just, meh, sadly.

  13. blackjack

    It’s a long story, but it is relevant. Sorta.

    “bout twenty years ago, my brother met some chick up in Santa Barbara, where he was working at the time. They hooked up and after the weekend was over, went their separate ways. Well, a year later, he gets his paycheck and it mostly all not there with some mystery attachment. He asks and they tell him that they can’t tell him why, but he can call this number. Calls the number and it’s the Santa Barbara DA. The chick got pregnant and was collecting welfare. Bro goes over and sees the kid. He figures he’s gonna have to be a dad from now on. He buys him some stuff and comes over to see him every day for a week. Then, he comes back and the house is empty. Broad up and moved in the middle of the night. Turned out, she moved half way up the state. Calls the DA and they say, ” tough titty. As long as she collects welfare, you gotta pay.” Like half of his check.

    My brother, being from my family, decides to go underground. He starts working exclusively as a job shopper. He gets paper checks and cashes them at corner check cashing places. He keeps nothing but cash. He hides from the DA and obscures his travels by paying straight cash. His gigs all last about 6-9 months, so they can’t catch up with him. This goes on for about a decade. Meanwhile, some guy he knew got murdered up in SB. The cops figured out that my brother was associated with the guy ( bro’s a pilot and he gave some instrument instruction to the guy) Anyway, two cops show up at my house one day asking about him. They ask if he’s a drug dealer and tell me they don’t care, they’re only interested in this murder and he’s not a suspect, just a witness. I tell them he’s not a dealer or anything funny, just privacy oriented.

    Like ten years later, he decides he want to go to Thailand. Then he finds out they won’t give him a passport because he owes 100k to the SB DA. Long story slightly shorter, he paid the whole motherfucker, in cash by living in his car and working non stop. Took him about three years or so ( I think, never got the whole details about that part).

    So, that’s my alternative banking story. I eventually met the kid. He was cool enough. We talked on facebook for few months until I realized facebook is evil and ditched my account.

    • Web Dominatrix

      Wow, that’s a crazy story!! Fucking California, man. I can’t imagine going through all that. It’s so hard to be a sane human in California.

      Yes, Facebook is evil. Shame, too. Such a handy way to stay in contact with folks from the past.

    • Tundra

      The fuck?

    • RAHeinlein

      Red Pill – MRA

    • Playa Manhattan

      So is it actually his kid?

    • Animal

      I guess I was fortunate, what with the fair amount of tomcatting I did when I was young, not to mention the mobile earthquake that was my PDFF in the summer of ’87.

  14. Fourscore

    Yesterday I spent time trying to find the right noodle pack to send to my grand daughter in a village in Alaska, I couldn’t decide, my wife was recommending a different brand. OMWC seems to know his way around the noodle table and I’ll go with the Indomie. I think I’m going with a less spicy variety (MN people, ya know, let ’em add their own ketchup). Amazon can deliver to the bush in about 4-5 days.

    Thanks, WebDom, perfect timing.

    • Web Dominatrix

      OMWC definitely knows his way around noodles. I did go with the less spicy variety, too. I can always add sriracha. Why is she going to Alaska?

      • Fourscore

        She and her husband are school teachers (brand new) in Galena, 1/2 way between Fairbanks and Nome. Small village but mail comes every day so Jeff Bezos is my friend.

  15. Mojeaux

    Let’s just say that $10,000-deposit-in-cash-makes-you-a-money-launderer thingie touched my family in a bit of a pernicious and roundabout way.

  16. Creosote Achilles

    It’s 10k in cash deposits/withdrawals or a total of 10k in cash deposits that get flagged as a CTR. Checks, transferring from one account to another. etc don’t count. But a SAR can basically be filed for any amount if the bank thinks you are structuring. Or if they think you are trying to avoid the CTR by depositing / withdrawing an amount just under. The whole thing is a load of horseshit.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Yeah, deposit a large value check (like $30k) and suddenly the teller is your longtime buddy, clumsily asking what you’re doing with it.

      • Fourscore

        Wait ’til you sell your house, walking ’round with that check in your pocket.

      • Creosote Achilles

        It’s so transparent. And such a hassle. If I want to take out $15k in cash whether it’s to buy a tractor or hookers & blow, shouldn’t be anyone’s business. The fact is, if someone is taking out even amounts from the same branch that are close to the $10k CTR or whatever, they aren’t likely doing anything illegal. The annual training on this tends to prompt thoughts of how to do it to avoid scrutiny just because.

      • Playa Manhattan

        I do mobile deposits.

        I have gotten a “security hold” though.

        They won’t make that mistake again.

      • Gustave Lytton

        There’s always been a max limit to mobile deposits at my CU. Recently they’ve tightened the rules further. I suspect one of the reasons was people kiting between accounts with different institutions.

    • Rat on a train

      It starts with the problem of the government mandating banks report activity without a warrant.

    • rhywun

      Promoting Beautiful Federal Civic Architecture

      Yep, I remember that one.

      Asshole.

      I didn’t know the ugly, hateful architecture voting bloc was that powerful.

      • UnCivilServant

        Brother-in-law contracting can’t handle fancy designs, and specializes in brutalist architecture.

      • Chipwooder

        Lefties adore Brutalism. It so perfectly captures the crushing, inhuman force of a jackboot on the back of your neck.

      • rhywun

        A lot of the newer fed buildings are even uglier than Brutalism, believe it or not.

  17. Q Continuum

    Long:

    q-ette finally arrived on the scene on Saturday. What should have been a joyful event quickly descended into the worst weekend of my life. Mrs. Q had an exceptionally difficult delivery requiring an episiotomy and vacuum extraction resulting in a third degree tear and an abattoir’s worth of blood. She nearly died (BP 60/30, gray and clammy, delirious, transfusions, doctors and nurses scrambling and screaming, etc.) and q-ette could not breathe. After being rushed to the NICU, q-ette was examined by the doctors and I was informed that she failed several neurological function tests. The doctors predicted either brain damage due to hypoxia or a structural brain problem; either resulting in lifelong disability. My world crashed instantly. Nothing else mattered and what was happening in the world immediately became beyond trivial.

    What followed was an incredible battery of tests on q-ette including an MRI, a lumbar puncture, EEG, transcranial ultrasound and multiple courses of antibiotics along with a CPAP machine for her breathing. She looked like an octopus in the NICU with all the tubes coming out of her. Mrs. Q remained utterly incapacitated.

    This story, thanks and glory be to G-d, has a happy ending however. q-ette improved rapidly and all the tests for major things were negative. The doctors believe that the breathing was simply Colorado’s high altitude doing its thing (not altogether uncommon) and the tough delivery + altitude resulted in transient shock to q-ette’s tiny nervous system. They were astounded and proclaimed that babies in her condition rarely leave the NICU without grave prognoses. To their eyes, she is fine and has a bright future. She is now home with us for the first time, Mrs. Q is happy on Vicodin and all is looking up. This was a life-changing experience beyond that of the normal transition to parenthood; I am beyond filled with gratitude to whatever power granted us grace and a last minute pardon from the Governor. I will be very busy and not sure how often I can post but I can say with certainty that the purpose of this life is gratitude; for what you have and for the people in your life.

    And tits.

    • UnCivilServant

      I’m glad there was a happy ending.

      • Q Continuum

        Indubitably UCS.

    • limey

      My goodness that post is an emotional rollercoaster. I’m so glad she’s okay. Family is the most important thing, and you are beyond blessed.

      ?

      • Q Continuum

        Cheers my Anglo friend.

    • Tulip

      Congratulations on your new daughter. I’m glad she’s healthy.

    • Translucent Chum

      Damn. Congrats and here’s to a speedy recovery and a long and happy life for your little one.

    • But Enough About Me. Why? Why not?

      Jesus P., d00d.

      Glad you and yours made it through relatively unscathed. You probably don’t need anyone telling you this, but get some rest if you can, and make sure to spell off Mrs. Q as often as you’re able.

    • pistoffnick

      Tits are a great thing.
      So is your wife for pulling through.

      Now comes the hard part…

      Congratudolances

    • zwak

      Quongrats on the scary, healthy Q!baby

    • Mojeaux

      I am soooo glad q-ette made it out of the NICU with a bright prognosis. She will need shades.

      Tell Mrs. Q to take care of herself and sleep as much as she possibly can. That is her job right now, to sleep.

    • blackjack

      Holy fuck, that’s crazy! I can’t even imagine. Thank the dogs everyone’s OK.

      • blackjack

        I remember riding up to Taos and seeing the signs warning of altitude sickness. “If you feel drowsy, do not drive” “Watch for warning signs of altitude sickness” Etc.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Stupid drywall dust, I was getting worried at the start there. Huzzah and congratulations!

    • Q Continuum

      Thanks to all, I would reply individually to each but there is a diaper to be changed.

      • mikey

        In this case that’s wonderful news!

    • rhywun

      Wow.

      ?

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      Congrats and glad to hear that all is okay. You had me scared there, for a minute.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      Damn, I’m so glad that everybody pulled through! Here’s to a speedy recovery for mom, and continued good health for q-ette.

    • Gender Traitor

      What a nightmare! I can’t even begin to imagine how horrible it must have been. Thank goodness mother and child are doing so much better, and thanks for letting us know.

    • Cannoli

      That’s terrifying, I’m so sorry you three had to go through that and I’m so happy that q-ette recovered.

    • Tundra

      Congrats, brother. I was a little worried when you went radio silent.

      Your little girl is the greatest gift you will ever get. I wish you, the buxom Mrs. Q and the future love of your life all the best.

      I can’t wait to meet her IRL!

    • Frosty

      Gonna stop lurking and make my yearly post to say Congratulations and best wishes!

      • Tundra

        Hola, Frosty.

        Quit lurking and jump in, dude.

    • KromulentKristen

      Fuckin’ hell!

      • KromulentKristen

        Congrats on ette & pamper the ever-lovin shit our of Mrs.

      • Tundra

        Seriously, it’s gonna be expensive.

      • KromulentKristen

        You know what looks really good with amethyst? Black opal. I know of a good black opal guy in Oz. Just sayin.

      • Tundra

        Are you chicks genetically expensive?

      • KromulentKristen

        *out

    • Hank

      What a scary roller coaster ride of an ordeal…but felicitations on getting through it.

    • SP

      Congratulations on a good outcome. Events like this really do make one take stock of what’s truly important in life.

      Enjoy your new life with your family!

    • db

      Wow. Congratulations to you and your family. I can’t imagine what it must have been like to go through that, but I am so glad to hear things are looking up.

    • Spudalicious

      Dear Lord, Q. What a life altering experience indeed. I’m glad that all worked out well and that you will go forward as a dad with a newfound view on life.

    • Creosote Achilles

      Happy to hear all has turned out well. I cannot begin to fathom the emotions you were experiencing. Enjoy the new one and your wife, and I wish you all the bliss in the world.

    • DrOtto

      Sorry for the rough ride, but congratulations.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Wow….

      Congratulations Q!

    • one true athena

      Congratulations! What a blessing to have it all turn around for Baby Q and hopefully MrsQ is back to normal soon!

    • Chafed

      Oh man am I glad for you that ended the way it did. Congratulations on q-ette. I’ve got two of my own so let me know when you need tips. Hopefully Mrs. Q has a speedy recovery. It sounds awful what she endured.

      Also, tits!

      • dbleagle

        Huzzah to little q, Mama Q and proud Papa Q! Gets you some rest because exhaustion is your lot for the next 9 months or so.

        As long as little q is on beast milk it will be poopy, once she is on formula or food it turns into shit.

    • straffinrun

      Amazing. Best wishes for you and Qtip and Qwife. My kid had to stay in an incubator (?) for two weeks after her birth. My wife stayed with her all the time, but I’d go after work and could only look at her through the glass. 12 years later and I haven’t been away from her for more than one night at a time. Joy upon joy. Entering the teenage years, so I see that joy morphing into something else real quick.

    • slumbrew

      That is a heart-wrenching / fantastic story, Q – congratulations to you and the family and a speedy recovery to all!

    • Playa Manhattan

      Congratulations.

      And sorry about your wife’s vagina.

      • straffinrun

        Q = “Now she can Please a lot of me.”

      • Chipwooder

        Am I an asshole for being grateful that my wife could only birth a child via c-section?

      • Tres Cool

        Congrats, Q. I love the irony that the go-to guy for titty pics gets a daughter.

        When Tres Version 2.0 came out, Mrs. X got cut stem-stern. The 1st outfit I bought him was a onesie that said “I Tore Mommy A New One”.

        Hilarity failed to ensue.

    • Chipwooder

      Congratulations Q! I know what you went through – my daughter was born 7 weeks early and could not breathe on her own for almost two weeks after. Those NICU visits are so tough.

      Very glad everyone is safe and home, and welcome to the wonderful and crazy world of infants.

    • Sean

      Rough ride, with a happy ending. Thankfully.

      Congrats!

    • Warty

      Wow. Congratulations, bro.

    • westernsloper

      Holy moly!

      Glad that mess all worked out. Congrats dood!

    • Stillhunter

      Way late, but had to chime in. So glad it all worked out and congrats, man! As others have said, kids are amazing.

      My oldest was a struggle, but not that bad. My wife had to be cut too, by a green doctor. She wasn’t young, but hadn’t been lead on a birth before, so when my son’s BP kept falling the doc watching over told her she needed to get that baby out now. He said it in a calm voice, but you knew it was serious. Then they needed the big plunger to pull him out. Had a mark on his head for a couple days. The next two popped out like nothing (even my wife agrees).

  18. kinnath

    Pasting from two articles (one yesterday and one today) . . . . the Iowa Senate (yesterday) and Iowa House (today) passed an election reform law. With any luck, the Gov will sign it.

    https://www.kcrg.com/2021/02/23/iowa-senate-passes-bill-to-limit-absentee-voting-period-other-election-law-changes/

    https://www.kcrg.com/2021/02/25/iowa-house-approves-controversial-bill-to-limit-early-voting/

    If signed into law by Governor Kim Reynolds, Senate File 413 would cut Iowa’s early voting period from 29 days to 20 days.

    The bill also requires most mail-in ballots to be received by county election officials by the time polls close on Election Day, instead of allowing votes to be counted as long as they were postmarked by Election Day and arrived by noon on the Monday following the election.

    The bill also prohibits the use of a U.S. Postal Service postmark as a way to verify when a ballot was mailed.

    And the bill would also prohibit county auditors from mailing absentee ballot request forms to eligible Iowa voters-something that was widespread during the pandemic-unless a voter requests a form.

    The bills would also make it a criminal offense for auditors to break state election rules. The bills come after multiple judges declared pre-filled-out absentee ballot forms invalid in multiple counties.

    Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!

    • rhywun

      Well, Iowa IS a white supremacist state.

    • rhywun

      The bank stuff makes my head spin – I don’t know whether to believe any of it.

      • Tres Cool

        “so now these racists are using anti-racism to cover their racist misdeeds!”

    • Chipwooder

      I read someone (can’t remember who) noting that all this woke nonsense only started to be churned out by the media, and embraced by corporations, after 2011. Why? Because Occupy Wall Street scared the shit outta them, and they jumped on board this with both feet to focus the fury of lefties on race/gender/whatever the fuck, anything but economic class, and to thus buy goodwill with the constant virtue signalling.

      The timeline certainly matches up.

  19. Chafed

    Yay, Webdom is posting. Sorry about your computer and the money laundering nonsense. Thanks for the veggie meat article.

    • rhywun

      Don’t know them but we have similar tales on the East Coast. Brick ‘n’ mortar is fucking dead.

      • rhywun

        I should add that online not named “Amazon” is also fucking dead.

      • Chafed

        I hear you. I’m doing my best to avoid Amazon. The wokeness and censorship really bothers me.

        I recently placed a book order with B&N. It was significantly more than Amazon would have been. I’m looking forward to Amazon’s competitors getting their act together.

      • Gender Traitor

        I try to support B&N as best I can, partly because we still have a B&M B&N near my office, and partly because I’m desperately trying to make sure my beloved Nook doesn’t go the way of the Betamax.

      • Raven Nation

        I buy from Powell’s when I can.

      • Tres Cool

        Norm joke:

        “You know, Im no good at business. I started an online store. I sold brick & mortar.”

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Walmart or Target it is, then. I like to sniff things in person.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        (I look up the specs on Amazon first.)

      • Chafed

        Reverse showrooming? I like it.

      • Tres Cool

        You know who else likes to personally sniff things ?

    • Playa Manhattan

      The Fry’s 2 minutes from my house is one of the ones closing.

      It’s been on life support for about 2 years. I used to go there during my lunch breaks.

  20. Cowboy

    This is my go to “quick” noodle dish. I just use standard sirloin or tenderloin, though. If you aren’t looking for something that takes so much effort, then all you really nMagix. Fermented black bean paste. That shit is magic.

    • Cowboy

      *all you really need is black bean paste

      Not sure what happened there, damn android.

  21. Mojeaux

    I had a Reuben sandwich, as I am singularly uninspired in the kitchen.

  22. Muzzled Woodchipper

    Yes, my guilty pleasure is watching Blacklist.

  23. straffinrun

    That banking story sucks, Webdom. The vice grips they putting on everybody via the banking system is terrifying. Fiat currency combined with ever increasing regs. The implosion will be exciting at least.

  24. straffinrun

    What kind of a coffee shop plays polka?

    • slumbrew

      Wait, you’re in a coffee shop in Japan and they’re playing polka? I suspect they’re confused and think they’ve stumbled on some hip, obscure genre.

      • straffinrun

        Usually we get easy listening. Stuff like Bon Jovi BGM so polka isn’t so bad.

    • nw

      It’s like you’re not even from the best state.

      • straffinrun

        Not a Polack though.

      • Tres Cool
    • Gustave Lytton

      The Jan Lewan Kissaten?

    • Chafed

      They are screwing with you. Look for the hidden camera.

  25. Gustave Lytton

    Why do produce clerks cut green onions down to fit a predefined space? Hello retards, the whole point of a green onion is the green portion. Since jackass suppliers provide overly mature stalks around here, if you cut it the same as younger ones, it’s now 3/4 white portion with a finger of green. How about just leaving it uncut right out to the tips?

    • Chipwooder

      If my experiences working as a produce clerk as a teenager are any indication, there’s a good chance they get trimmed down because they’re already starting to decay at the top. You wouldn’t believe how much of the produce shipments we received were already starting to wilt and get moldy. A great deal of our time was spent trimming produce down for that reason.

  26. Hank

    My best friend’s cousin’s roommate made money sitting on his A$$, you can too by clicking this link…

    • hayeksplosives

      Bot or not?

      • Hank

        I apologize, I was trying to parody a bot. Also I was making sure the squirrels weren’t eating my contributions.

      • Hank

        I also often listen to phycadelic 60s rock on long car trips and was trying to share the experience with anyone who was still up.

        Oh, well, if you don’t like my ideas I can always get new ones!

      • hayeksplosives

        BOt confirmed!!

      • hayeksplosives

        Actually I mean Welcome, Tulpa!

      • hayeksplosives

        I’ve been an irregular reader / commenter for the past few months so I lag The cool kids on knowing all the in jokes.

      • hayeksplosives

        Here’s one for all you mythical libertarian women out there.

        It’s one of those nights.

        https://youtu.be/b-6nX0lZcWY

      • Tres Cool

        Hey there sunshine.

        How YOU doin’ ?

      • Hank

        Ah, sorry to hear that.

        Following the psychadelic theme, this is the most 60s song I could find on the spur of the moment:

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcFXPqIYfqA

        (links provided for entertainment not commercial purposes)

      • Hank

        Come to think of it, that is kind of catchy.

      • Tres Cool

        I nearly forgot- go fuck yourself, Tulpa

      • Hank

        Yeah, I get that a lot.

    • Tres Cool

      Fun fact- the contemptible, bureaucratic, POS, that runs the county Montgomery County Alcohol, Drug Addiction and Mental Health Services organization (ADAMHS) is the former head of Dept Jobs and Family Services for Ohio. She lost that gig after doing unauthorized child-support background checks on good ol’ “Joe the Plumber” (that dared confront Obama) and using her state email account to solicit money for Obama.

      Citation

      Her equally contemptible POS Husband runs this money-laundering turd: https://www.daytonfoundation.org/aacfunds.html

      • limey

        And the media tried to destroy Joe by claiming that he wasn’t a “real” plumber because he supposedly wasn’t registered and licensed, and didn’t join the union, and couldn’t “legally” work as plumber in whatever municipality. His papieren were not in ordnung.

  27. Ownbestenemy

    Morning folks…I am operating on 3 hours of what I would call ‘sleep’. 30mph sustained winds here in Vegas.

    LA Kings are on a 6 game winning streak and look like a modern team so that makes me happy.

    My software adaptations are going smoothly..looks like a good day.

    • Tres Cool

      I just installed a SSD in Jugsy’s laptop. Same level ?

      • Ownbestenemy

        If your laptop is handling over 3000 flight operations, performing flight path information and is networked to 70 other computers…I would say same thing.

      • Festus

        I can do that in my sleep…

      • Ownbestenemy

        I practically just did with as little as I have had. Switching to graves is getting harder and harder. Well not really, all the prep work was done on Monday

      • Festus

        Kidding, Friend. I can’t even synch up my phone with my laptop. I’m very good a cutting things down and sweeping, though.

  28. I'm Here To Help

    What a glorious day ahead of me in my life as a mid-level federal bureaucrat. Meetings all day, interspersed with calls from my managers asking why I haven’t gotten our reports to them yet.

    Here’s a hint – perhaps it is because you volunteered me to be in multiple “working” groups that take up all my time with meetings.

    • Sean

      Plus side, no matter what you do, it won’t matter.

      ?

      • Festus

        There will be berating, though. Unless you are into that sort of thing.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Your federal meeting sound like my federal meetings. TPS reports was supposed to be a joke…

      • I'm Here To Help

        I’m also the lowest ranked person in all of these meetings, but the one that has the responsibility for organizing it and making sure it runs smoothly. Herding cats has nothing on trying to keep a bunch of general/flag officers and SESs (with conflicting viewpoints and agendas) from completely derailing things.

  29. Sean

    Lol, wut?

    With all other problems in their state solved, California Assembly Members Evan Low (D–Cupertino) and Cristina Garcia (D–Los Angeles) have introduced a bill that would require all stores to have a unisex section for children’s clothing and products in the name of “inclusivity” or whatever.

    “Brick-and-mortar shops would have to display the majority of their products and clothing aimed at children in one undivided, unisex area on the sales floor,” reports Reason. “They’d also be barred from putting up signage that would indicate whether a product was intended for a boy or girl.”

    The bill doesn’t just target brick-and-mortar shops either. California-based retailers would also be required to include a page on their website that presents the aforementioned products in a gender-neutral way, with the section being titled “kids,” “unisex,” or “gender-neutral.”

    • I'm Here To Help

      This is a win-win for the politicians – they know that they will get credit for this bold initiative from the ranks of their most caterwauling constituents, while the anger and vile at the policy will be directed at the minimum wage sales staff at the stores when parents have to wade through a bunch of stuff they aren’t interested in to find their kid’s items.

    • limey

      With all other problems in their state solved

      Oh lordy, my sides.

      • limey

        Ps good morning, good fellows ☕

      • Sean

        Salutations.

      • Festus

        And permutations *wink-wink*

    • mrfamous

      Brick and mortar retailers have had far too easy a time of it lately. We need to impose some additional external costs to help balance the scales.

    • Suthenboy

      Leave everything where it is and take down the ‘boys’, ‘girls’ signs. If anyone asks the whole store is unisex.

  30. Tundra

    Mornin’ folks.

    • Festus

      Mornin’ fellow snow-dweller! I’m about ready to borrow a pair of UCS’s “strangling gloves” and go on a hijinx filled road trip to my regional office but other than that, everything is just fine.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Morning.

      I am drinking coffee to this

      • Festus

        Hopefully the wife is still snoring or you have trip-wires installed! 😉