Experts warn that covid can live on clothes, but not masks

by | Mar 8, 2021 | Hygiene, Satire | 163 comments

ATLANTA – The Centers for Disease and Racism Dissemination have published results of a study that should scare the bejeezus out of any red blooded American. The Covid-19 virus, including the white supremacist South African variant, the colonialist UK variant, and the Super Saiyan Japanese variant, has been found to linger on clothing for up to 72 hours.

While it is unclear whether this is all clothing or just straight people clothing, the implications are very serious for a country still reeling from four years of Trump’s racist pro-virus policies. Clothes Covid is likely to be more dangerous than murder hornets and old-fashioned cough Covid combined.

A person familiar with the study’s thinking indicated that clothes Covid may require people to remove their clothes while in public to avoid asymptomatic transmission of this modern day plague. Of course, triple masks would still be mandatory to keep the virus perplexed and on the defensive.

At a press conference hosted by President Biden, Dr. Fauci, science wizard extraordinaire, translated the gobbledygook from the sciency nerds into cool people speak, calming the public’s fears that the pandemic hasn’t yet gone away.

“It is not time to let go of your fear, ” he soothed, “more people are dying than ever before! The viral insurrection is at its peak! It can even live on your clothes!”

Fascists associated with the Republican coup tried to spread disinformation, lying about a purported lull in deaths in recent weeks, but nobody listens to those losers anymore. *high fives CNN*

As a fact check on some idiotic right-wing propaganda circulating around social media, one of the scientists from the study disspelled some myths, noting that the potential for clothes Covid to fortify your body was very low. “You would have to do something ridiculous, like strap your clothes to your face and breathe through them all day to catch Covid from your clothes.”

When a disinformation artist from OAN asserted, without evidence, that the scientist “just described a mask,” Dr. Fauci intervened, explaining that “masks are obstacle courses for viruses, and Covid is the fat kid on the playground who can’t even do a pull up.”

Biden expressed his support for Fauci, challenging the virus to “a game of nekkid hogtie wrassling like we used to do in Scranton.”

All in all, the press conference was a rousing success. The ViroRepublican alliance was thoroughly embarrassed, and absolutely nobody has lost trust in the media or in the legitimacy of government.

About The Author

trshmnstr

trshmnstr

I stink, therefore I am.

163 Comments

  1. Brochettaward

    My CPU is a neural-net processor; a Firsting computer. The more contact I have with humans, the more I First.

    • Aloysious

      “Contact is not a verb in this house.”

      /Nero Wolfe

      I just wanted to quote that. Carry on.

  2. westernsloper

    Related new yet to form flip flop.

    • Muzzled Woodchipper

      “In some cases.”

      How about you eat a dick and I’ll decide who I hang out with regardless of their vaccine status?

  3. DEG

    This sounds like real news, not satire.

  4. Playa Manhattan

    In all seriousness, there hasn’t been a single documented case of fomite transmission.

    117 MILLION confirmed cases of COVID worldwide, not a single one.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Short of doing challenge studies, how exactly would it be documented? Or disproven for that matter.

      • Playa Manhattan

        Somebody in self-isolation who still contracts COVID without having contact with another person, i.e. amazon packages.

        They just need evidence of one case. Just one.

      • mrfamous

        German virologist Hendrick Streeck was sent in by the German government to study the early superspreader event in Heinsburg Germany. It was a fairly remote town that had a carnival that involved passing around a whistle, and well yeah all sorts of people got infected. He studied the town in March of 2020. There was a ton of very useful info that came from his research there, including an early IFR estimate of around 0.35%, though Streeck guessed that the “true” one would likely be lower at around 0.25%. If you recall, at the time, Fauci and others were touting IFRs above 1% and a few news outlets were saying it was as high as 3.4%.

        Anyway, one of the more interesting things he found was that he was unable to grow a culture from a swabbed surface in any of the infected peoples’ houses. _Unable_ to. IE, he was trying to get an infection from a swabbed surface known to be contaminated and was unable to do so despite his team’s best efforts.

        This was known by early April of 2020. And we continue to spray and wipe down surfaces like maniacs.

      • Playa Manhattan

        My wife still wipes down the groceries. We’re vaccinated.

      • rhywun

        I’ve never done that, and I stopped the obsessive handwashing they told us we had to do, about nine months ago.

        I told a co-worker – and mind you, I normally refuse to talk about anything even remotely political at work, and for good reason – that I was hospitalized for 14 days last summer and was mostly maskless after a few days because I just didn’t give a shit, and oh – I live in New York fucking City. His response: “that’s not how viruses work”. Sigh.

      • Chafed

        Holy cow! How did you not explode at that schmoe?

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        A woman where I have guitar lessons is like that.

        She sprays down every possible fucking thing you touched immediately thereafter.

        She yelled at my guitar teacher for allowing a student to open the door, because it’s not known whether the kid had it and now all of them are in danger.

        Branch Covidianism is real.

    • Fourscore

      So I don’t need a handiwipe before I go to the bathroom, you know, to relieve myself?

      • Bobarian LMD

        Just wipe your peepee.

    • blackjack

      I offered to snort a fat line of covid at work, back in March. We already knew that 99.5% of the people that got it were going to be fine back then. They thought I was crazy.

      • Brochettaward

        I remain incredibly disappointed that I never caught it. I wanted my two weeks of paid time off from work.

      • blackjack

        I got three months paid time off. Didn’t much matter because you couldn’t do anything and nobody was out side the whole time, except for the lowlife that stole my TBSS. I miss that car.

      • Playa Manhattan

        When my neighbor caught it very early on, I considered a deliberate exposure and isolation to get it out of the way.

        I was vetoed.

  5. Yusef drives a Kia

    WERE ALL GONNA DIE11111!1!!!!!111

  6. Semi-Spartan Dad

    Good one.

    Dr. Fauci intervened, explaining that “masks are obstacle courses for viruses”

    I wish that line was satire. This may have been the dumbest thing to come out of the BELIEVE SCIENCE crowd during the whole pandemic.

    • blackjack

      Masks are obstacle courses for the soul. They are bad for people’s souls. Especially little kids and animals. This is one of the most sadistic thing this country has ever done on this large of a scale. Fucking with everyone’s minds and livelihoods just to get an edge in an election.

  7. Fourscore

    Explain the purpose of the vaccination again. If I’ve had the virus I need the vaccine, if I’ve had the vaccine I have to wear a mask/distance/isolate at home, etc. One never knows when the meanie virus will attack, don’t even mention diabetic, emphesemic, old people, they should just take a ticket and sit over there and wait for their number to be called.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      Explain the purpose of the vaccination again.

      To give dim people hope for a looming end to this bullshit.

      • rhywun

        And then to pull it away at the last second like any Lucy.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        Hey, I know a Lucy, and she doesn’t pull footballs.

    • Muzzled Woodchipper

      This.

      The utter incapability to say “once you get the vaccine, you’re good” is the most anti-scientific shit floating around all this mess.

      Is it a vaccine?

      Then it fucking works.

      But don’t give me this “The vaccine works but you can still carry and pass the virus, so be sure to continue wearing a mask and being socially distant.”

      • rhywun

        Is it a vaccine?

        No.

        You don’t get a “flu vaccine” every winter.

        Same thing here.

      • Fourscore

        I thought the flu vaccine was an annual thing, due to the mutations, no? I never get one so I don’t keep up.

      • rhywun

        I meant that nobody calls it a “flu vaccine” – they call it a “flu shot”. A vaccine implies one-and-done, I think. Or at least one and maybe some boosters later.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        Yes.

        They vaccinate against what they think is going to be the prevalent strain that year.

        When they’re right, flu is always way down. When they’re not right, it’s a normal year as they existed before the flu vaccine.

    • dbleagle

      Nothing in the new law would have been controversial as far back as the 1996 election. When Bush the Younger won in 2000 the Dems went crazy on this issue. Now asking for an official ID to vote (or a verified absentee ballot request and return) is seen as the moral equivalent of the “slave patrols” of yore. The Dems want you to have a “COVID Passport” to go to the grocery store but asking a voter to verify their identity makes you Mengele. FOAD.

      • Brochettaward

        You need to provide ID of some kind or confirm your identity virtually anytime you have contact with the government besides when you vote.

      • juris imprudent

        Real ID compliant identification is required to enter a federal building, no? Just to fucking walk into it.

      • Playa Manhattan

        The implications of being against voter ID are actually quite racist.

        I can’t remember who it was, but some conservative talking head walked around a college campus asking people why voter ID harms black people.

        About half of the respondents caught themselves before they said anything regrettable on camera; the other half were straight up racist.

      • mikey

        I saw a video where a guy did Black People on the Street interviews asking if they thought there was anything wrong or difficult about showing an idea. They all were offended by the idea.

      • Playa Manhattan

        Looks familiar. That could be it.

      • rhywun

        ? Lowered expectations… ?

        It drives most of the Dem platform.

      • Brochettaward

        The blacks are just used as a distraction when it comes to voter ID laws. You cry racism to distract from the fact that you are really protecting fraud.

        It should also be noted that voters of all races overwhelmingly support voter ID laws and I’d wager that a higher percentage of whites object than blacks.

      • juris imprudent

        Because whites always know what’s best for blacks – at least if they are whites that are Dems.

    • rhywun

      early and Election Day voting

      Said without a trace of self-awareness.

      Never change, CNN.

    • Fourscore

      How does that suppress voting and disenfranchise voters? Straws are being grasped for, just in case. 20 days seems like a long time for deciding who you’re going to vote for. I already know for the next election.

    • kinnath

      Going back to earlier reports for the details:

      https://www.kcrg.com/2021/02/25/iowa-house-approves-controversial-bill-to-limit-early-voting/

      Senate File 413 would cut Iowa’s early voting period from 29 days to 20 days.

      The bill also requires most mail-in ballots to be received by county election officials by the time polls close on Election Day, instead of allowing votes to be counted as long as they were postmarked by Election Day and arrived by noon on the Monday following the election.

      The bill also prohibits the use of a U.S. Postal Service postmark as a way to verify when a ballot was mailed.

      Polling times also would be reduced by an hour, closing at 8 p.m. instead of 9 p.m.

      And the bill would also prohibit county auditors from mailing absentee ballot request forms to eligible Iowa voters-something that was widespread during the pandemic-unless a voter requests a form.

      https://www.kcrg.com/2021/02/23/iowa-senate-passes-bill-to-limit-absentee-voting-period-other-election-law-changes/

      The bills would limit the time for absentee voting and remove inactive voters faster. The bills would also make it a criminal offense for auditors to break state election rules. The bills come after multiple judges declared pre-filled-out absentee ballot forms invalid in multiple counties.

      • blackjack

        Imagine responding to obvious fraud with a bill that addresses the main methods used. Biden is prolly dreaming up some way to punish these heretics, even as we speak. Meanwhile, big tech is rewriting their trigger warnings to counter this. Iowa is doing something right.

      • kinnath

        I was thrilled when I read the bill was passed by the House and the Senate.

        The best part was the crack down on the county auditors that went batshit last election.

  8. Brochettaward

    Hello, Is there anybody in there…Just nod if you can hear me…Is there anyone home?

  9. mikey

    “While it is unclear whether this is all clothing or just straight people clothing,……”
    Damn, Derpy your’re getting too good at this.

    • rhywun

      Derpy

      Uhhh…

    • Brochettaward

      I’m not sure if trshmnstr or Derpy should be more offended by this.

    • mikey

      Ooooops!!!
      Off to the Corner of Shame.

      We’re blessed with a lot of talent here. (Is that better)?)

      • Brochettaward

        You didn’t thank the most talented person of all for his contributions to your day. It’s ok. I forgive you.

    • Fourscore

      You’ve never seen them together, have you? I think that’s your answer

      • commodious spittoon

        Come to think of it, I’ve never seen any of you or STEVE SMITH in the same room together…

      • Fourscore

        Then you need to come to the Sept Honey Harvest. Real live Glibs, indeed there is a Pope Jimbo and many others, With the abundance of lakes in this area there is surely some kin of SEA SMITH lurking.

      • Pope Jimbo

        I’m the Grand Old Man of the Honey Harvest! I’m suspicious that Tundra or Leap will sabotage my car one of these years so they can tie my attendance record.

        My secret is in bribing Mrs. Fourscore with mandoo (Korean dumplings) so she makes sure I get invited back.

      • Brochettaward

        I read that as mangoo and thought that Mr. Fourscore wouldn’t take too kindly to that.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Speaking of stuff like that, does your First fetish follow you into the bedroom?

        I hope not, it would be sad if you took a couple wild pumps, shouted “FIRST!”, rolled off and went to sleep.

      • Brochettaward

        Any woman I have sex with should just be satisfied by the privilege of being with me.

      • commodious spittoon

        Considering it, actually. It’s been awhile since I traveled, a couple years before the vid.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Nice to see you back, CS!

      • mrfamous

        Steve Smith is like being struck by lightning: if you ever actually see him, it’s already too late.

  10. Pope Jimbo

    While it is unclear whether this is all clothing or just straight people clothing, the implications are very serious for a country still reeling from four years of Trump’s racist pro-virus policies.

    Straight or Super Straight?

    The term “Superstraight” developed out of the increasing insistence that men must date trans women – which is a way of saying that biological men must date biological men who identify as a women – or else they are transphobic (I’m dead serious).

    As a man, I am apparently hateful if I don’t want to date, marry, and be intimate with another biological male. The argument is that men should want to date both biological women and biological-men-identifying-as-women because the two are one and the same!

    In response, a bunch of people started identifying as “superstraight,” or a person who is only attracted to those biologically born and still identifying as the opposite sex from their own biological sex, period.

    It is a pretty funny article.

    • Brochettaward

      If trannies were actually more than a tiny, minuscule percentage of the population, it would be fun getting to call woke lefties bigots for refusing to suck dick. As it stands, it’s basically a situation that most left leaning beta-males will never actually find themselves in. So they can comfortably claim to be enlightened behind a keyboard with no real chance of being forced to live up to their bullshit.

      • Gadfly

        As it stands, it’s basically a situation that most left leaning beta-males will never actually find themselves in.

        While that may be true for the older generations, for the younger generations things might be different. A recent poll (caveat emptor) showed that, among Gen Z (the current college, HS, and MS kids), more people identified as trans than identified as lesbian (2%). Twitter got all butthurt when Glenn Greenwald pointed out a possible implication of that (gay/lesbian erasure). So, yes, if trends hold in the future you will be able to taunt the woke young-uns for that.

      • Mojeaux

        I am amazed at all the parents who would rather their kid be trans than gay.

      • slumbrew
    • rhywun

      Does this mean that “supergays” are only attracted to those biologically born and still identifying as the same sex as their own biological sex, period? Because “supergay” has always conjured up something else in my mind.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Not only YES!, but the linked article has a handy illustration for SuperStraight and SuperGay.

      • rhywun

        Must be my twit-blocker cuz I don’t see anything about supergay.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Article also encourages you to embrace the power of “Super”:

        The great thing is that you can add “super” to anything.

        Don’t like the hierarchies of Marxist oppression in intersectionality? Try super-intersectionality, where you respect everyone at the smallest identity group: the individual!

        Are people telling you to be antiracist? Then say you identify as super-antiracist, where you believe all ethnic groups are equally capable of racism, and it’s all bad!

      • Chipping Pioneer

        Like Carson from Queer Eye?

      • rhywun

        Pretty much.

        I can get behind the novel definition of “supergay” because lord knows I’ve chased way too many “superstaight” guys over the years.

        The other kind of “supergay” – blecch. Not interested.

      • Hank

        I thought Supergay was the guy who flies through the air, fights homophobes and other enemies of the American Way, and has a fabulous costume.

      • rhywun

        heh

      • Not Adahn

        Yup, there is “supergay” and “superbi.”

        The “super” means “is sexually attracted to a lifelong continuity of gender identity.”

    • Chafed

      That’s a slice of genius.

  11. Hank

    Who knew that German doctors could be evil?

    A German plastic surgeon put cocaine on his penis for a romp with his mistress (a former patient), causing her death.

    He is serving nine years in prison to be followed by “preventive detention” afterwards, whatever that means. The Daily Mail is vague about the ins and outs of German criminal law.

    (Also he’s been assessed civil damages to pay to the late mistress’s family.)

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9338745/Doctor-killed-married-lover-ordered-pay-compensation.html

    • blackjack

      Are we sure it wasn’t “nien” years?

      • Pope Jimbo

        12 Norwegians grabbed a German gal, pulled her into an alley and said they were going to rape her.

        She started to scream “Nein, nein, nein!” so three of them left.

      • Don escaped Cancun

        ‘course Minnesodans know this:

        formal no in Norsk is nei, which sounds like Nye, the same as the Deutsch nein

        nine in Norsk is ni, which sounds like the Knights who say NI !

  12. Hank

    ‘Kids aren’t learning LGBTQ history. The Equality Act might change that.

    ‘Elinor Aspegren USA TODAY

    “…some teachers don’t feel comfortable teaching these topics…

    ‘The Equality Act could change that. It would safeguard job protections for LGBTQ teachers and could empower other educators to teach inclusively without fear of being fired, [Sophia] Arredondo [‘director of Education and Youth Programs at the LGBTQ+ education advocacy group GLSEN’] said.’…

    ‘Sam Long, a high school science teacher from Colorado, told USA TODAY students are more interested in his classes when he talks about the diverse gender, sex and sexuality presented in nature.

    ”Students who aren’t taught that way “either check out mentally or check out physically and don’t attend class,” he said.

    ‘”My concern for science students who don’t have a teacher and a curriculum that is gender-inclusive is that we’re missing out on a lot of opportunities to support and to validate our students,” he said. “We could give them the one reason that they need to continue going to school.”…

    ‘For educators to integrate LGBTQ+-inclusive curriculum, Long said, they “have to stop teaching the way you were taught” and “actively seek authenticity.”‘

    https://www.indystar.com/story/news/education/2021/03/06/lgbtq-history-equality-education-act-teachers/6648601002/

    • Don escaped Cancun

      It continues to be a great year in the education of Americans: they finally understand that their children are too important to be left in the clutches of public schools.

    • rhywun

      He then added, “Herpity derpity doo.”

      • Gender Traitor

        And Reason #394711 that I regularly give thanks for having narrowly escaped a life as a public school teacher.

      • kinnath

        just drawn that way . . . .

      • Gender Traitor

        Drawn what way? 😉

      • kinnath

        Hey, that’s cheating.

        Now I look dumb.

      • UnCivilServant

        You’re the one who decided to be a monkey’s self portrait.

      • Gender Traitor

        I swear I didn’t do it on purpose! I never actually used the Jessica Rabbit avatar for that long, so I just felt like getting back to “my old self.” (It’s the only photo of myself taken within recent memory that I don’t hate.)

      • hayeksplosives

        If you’d become a school teacher, just think of all those impressionable young minds you could set toward libertarianism!!

        Until the first complaint from a parent, that is…

    • Not Adahn

      NPR had a longform story about how MLK learned everything that made him effective from a gay dude.

  13. grrizzly

    This AmEx credit card has a limit since at least 2015.

    He Got $300,000 From Credit-Card Rewards. The IRS Said It Was Taxable Income.

    Konstantin Anikeev, an experimental physicist, assembled everything he needed for an inquiry far outside his field.

    His materials included American Express cards, the government’s view that credit-card rewards aren’t income, and his own willingness to spend time buying gift cards and money orders. He pulled the concept from personal-finance websites: Exploit the difference between unlimited 5% rewards and lower fees on gift cards and money orders.

    “If one has a theory, one can test it experimentally. Some are easier to test,” Mr. Anikeev said. “Others require a Large Hadron Collider or something like that. But this one was a bit more accessible.”

    It (mostly) worked.

    Mr. Anikeev’s financial-optimization plan in 2013 and 2014—including $6.4 million in credit-card charges—led to an Internal Revenue Service audit and a finding that he and his wife had more than $310,000 in income that should have been taxed.

    His American Express card offered unlimited 5% rewards at grocery stores and pharmacies after he had spent $6,500. So Mr. Anikeev used his AmEx card to buy prepaid Visa gift cards at grocery stores, routinely stopping during his commute and purchasing the maximum allowed per day at a store. He often used the gift cards to buy money orders, then used the money orders to make deposits in his bank account, then used that money to pay his credit-card bill.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      That’s awesome! Too bad the IRS can’t just take the L, issue revised guidance and move on.

    • Playa Manhattan

      Credit card rewards are, in effect, a discount on the purchase price of whatever you’re buying. Not taxable.

      What that guy did? Taxable.

      • grrizzly

        When you have only one trick, eventually both the credit card company and the government will jump on you. Diversify.

      • hayeksplosives

        No kidding. The guy should at least have had a dad become President or governor or something. Then he’d have better investment options and no investigations!

      • Chafed

        Hunter Biden is taking notes.

  14. Mason

    Long time lurker, 12th time poster.

    At a Texas brewery tonight, I was told that we could not stand on the patio amongst ourselves, four of us. This required us to sit down at a table where we were physically closer. On the table it said you are not required to wear a mask while seating, only if standing. Apparently Covid only attacks the vertical body. We are two days away from restrictions being lifted and they are still enforcing this shit. I respect private establishment rules to a point. I’m not going to suck myself off because you say I must no matter how enjoyable (it’s not enjoyable as it makes my jaw/abdomen lock up). I’m so over this shit and I’d understand the liability implications but we are Two fucking days away from freedom and no one is going to enforce shit. That’s just my opinion, I could be wrong.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      we are Two fucking days away from freedom and no one is going to enforce shit

      It’s time to start taking notes. Who unceremoniously dumps the restrictions? Who keeps abusing their customers? At least right now, I can write the abuse off as mandated by the state. On Wednesday, I start writing down names and refusing to step foot in stores that keep restrictions in place.

      My biggest fear leading up to the reopening here in Tx is a concerted effort on the part of the chain stores to keep restrictions in place. There simply aren’t enough mom and pop shops around here anymore to get what I need if they all decide to stand together.

      • hayeksplosives

        There are some people who are really going to miss narcing on neighbors and calling out perfect strangers.

        They’re not going back to their book clubs and Real Housewives marathons quietly.

    • Don escaped Cancun

      “private establishment rules to a point”

      Economic freedom is personal freedom; there is no freedom without respect of property rights.

      The correct answer is as Trshy pursues: hate, resent, and remember who your enemies are.

      But property rights aren’t negotiable.

    • slumbrew

      I’m not going to suck myself off because you say I must no matter how enjoyable (it’s not enjoyable as it makes my jaw/abdomen lock up)

      Tulpa, who should fuck off, leading with the humble-brag.

      (I choose to ignore the prior 11 postings)

      • Mason

        Should I fuck off or suck off?

      • slumbrew

        Again with the bragging…

        You’ll fit right in – wait, that came out wrong… wait…

      • Chafed

        Steve Smith’s cousin?

      • rhywun

        *dick pic incoming…*

  15. Mason

    I’m amazed at the amount of businesses who are openly embracing the mask. It’s sad. I wouldn’t be so mad if it weren’t for the almost gleeful way in which some businesses want to continue the charade.

    Fortunately in the central Texas area several of the stores I shop at are only recommending masks and not requiring them as of 3/10.

    I’m glad to have found a community of like mined people though I’m not sure if I want to find a community of people like me.

    • hayeksplosives

      Congrats on the mask-lifting, Tulpa.

      I hope it lasts. Don’t get complacent though; next comes the Environmental Emergency.

    • Tejicano

      It’s a stretch but I gots to know – you wouldn’t be the same “Mason” from FALFiles back several years ago?

  16. hayeksplosives

    to keep the virus perplexed and on the defensive

    I had to gasp for air after that one.

    That explains virus-related curfews too.

  17. hayeksplosives

    Tomorrow I have to take the Mister to the clinic for a bunch of cardiology tests.

    According to clinic Covid policy, no one can accompany the patient “unless absolutely necessary”.

    So we have a non-scientific standard. My spouse has decided to insist I come in because he gets dizzy and can’t remember details (true).

    If they say no, his next move might get us on the news. I’ll keep you posted,

    • Chafed

      Maybe leave the guns and booze at home for this visit.

  18. Mojeaux

    Watching The Expanse. Is it bad I think the dude who flies the Roci is hawt?

    • Chafed

      It’s fine if your husband is down with it.

      • Mojeaux

        He rolled his eyes at me.

      • Chafed

        Watch Babylon 5. Everyone can agree Bruce Boxleitner is handsome.

      • Mojeaux

        He is traditionally, generically handsome, yes.

      • hayeksplosives

        Works for me.

        Hell, I liked him on Scarecrow snd Mrs King

      • Mojeaux

        There are just some people who catch my eye. They may not even be handsome at all.

      • hayeksplosives

        Fair enough.

        Some have both.

        Rutger Hauer

      • rhywun

        I’m still in season one so I’ve only seen the other guy.

    • rhywun

      All the age-appropriate male leads on that show are hawt in different ways. It’s kind of ridiculous, actually.

      The ladies, too.

      • Not Adahn

        Sexual selection means that hot people get laid more. Therefore the hotness of humanity is always increasing. It only makes sense that future people will all be hot.

    • westernsloper

      That is some kind of bullshit right there.

    • rhywun

      I read somewhere that NY doesn’t even have a deficit this year. This bill is intended to plug future holes and/or toss money into the pubsec pension maw.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Do you live in a state that handled Covid with some semblance of sanity? Well get fucked and pony up for those states that didn’t…but we all knew this was going to happen.

  19. hayeksplosives

    Mark Steyn yesterday:

    My theory on the roots of police violence is that Daffy Duck is black and he keeps saying, “Shoot me now.”

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Nice Avatar,

  20. Yusef drives a Kia

    Hello Glibs, hope it’s a smashing good day for you all, I’m faking being in a good mood,
    Carpe Diem!

    • Gender Traitor

      Fake it ’til you make it.

      Good morning, Yu!

      ::starts DDGing for how to say “Seize the carp” in Latin::

      • Gender Traitor

        Carpe carpio!

        After all, here at Chez GT/TT it’s Fish Stick Day!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        And a hearty Carpio to you GT, is that a new sign? Im a Carpio….

      • Gender Traitor

        Scorpio with Pisces rising? Or vice versa?

        Never figured out if I have any sign “rising.” Or falling, for that matter.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      “He is also recommending women who are already pregnant get vaccinated.”
      Fuck off doc.

      • Gender Traitor

        “It’s OK – we tested this for DAYS!”

    • Gender Traitor

      Have not watched and will not watch the original, but I’m confident this is a vast improvement in much less time. Thanks!

    • Gender Traitor

      From a link within the story – “indoguration”???

      ::facepalm, headdesk::

      That’s some hard-hitting journalisming right there.

      • Festus

        Stupid to put a shelter dog into such a high stress situation. I guess when you’re the photo-op Prez, smaller lives don’t matter much. What was Puddin Joe really trying to do when he chased that poor pupper out of the shower?

    • Festus

      I really enjoyed that one. Thank’s Sean!

      • Sean

        ?

    • Festus

      Board up.

    • Festus

      The last time my pupils looked that fucked up was about twenty-five years ago when my Bro brought up some honkin’ LSD from the Coast. I was freshly separated from she who shall not be named. We stayed up all night laughing like banshees and then spent the next day playing paintball on my buddy’s outdoor course with about forty of my work-mates. It was pretty intense.

    • Tejicano

      See! This is what happens when they don’t let him put a lid on it by 10;00 AM. It isn’t fair tp push him so hard.

      • rhywun

        I can sympathize with that.

      • Festus

        Didn’t he used to have “sparkling blue eyes and a mischievous smile”? Now he has dead eyes, like a doll’s eyes…

    • TARDis

      Poor USA is more like it. I bet Commie-la’s panties are soaking wet with anticipation. I hope there is a huge battle between her and the Biden clan when he kicks off.

      • Festus

        Sooner rather than later, I’d wager. Joe is done like dinner.

      • TARDis

        Awww, the first female president and she won’t even get two full terms. So sexist.

        Who is the choice for VP replacement? Surely not Hillary. It has to be someone Mittens will vote for.