309 Comments

  1. AlexinCT

    Trump still the master troll.

    Living rent free in the head of millions of idiots..

    Morning Banjos.

  2. Tres Cool

    mornin’

    sup’ yo

  3. AlexinCT

    Minneapolis paying almost $2 million to six “social media influencers” to spread propaganda regarding the Floyd trial.

    So does the defense have a case for moving this out of Minneapolis? One has to wonder if these are that evil/dumb that they think doing something like this isn’t going to ridiculously backfire on them. I am figuring the issue is that people that read books about dystopian autocratic future horror worlds – Brave New World, 1984, Fahrenheit 451, and so on – finished the books and thought they were “how to” manuals instead of warnings of a horrible future if things went that way.

    • rhywun

      For once, this seems like a real case of “stupid” over “evil”.

    • R C Dean

      So, $300K each for, what, 6 weeks “work”?

      • Tundra

        $2K each.

      • Swiss Servator

        “part of” – they get $2K each. Deceptive headline.

      • straffinrun

        Yeah, I’d really love to see a detailed list of the how they’ll spend the rest of it. Betcha it’s even worse.

      • Swiss Servator

        Probably the usual crony stuff.

      • Festus

        Right back into their own coffers, I’d venture.

      • zwak

        Jen Psaki, she’s a circle back girl!

  4. UnCivilServant

    Morning, Banjos.

    With regards to the voting rules, status quo ante isn’t good enough. We need voter verification and stronger vote integrety, with real teeth against the people who count the votes when they violate the process.

    • Nephilium

      My Votar Supprezzion!

    • AlexinCT

      The people that fortified our election want none of that. When they say they want stronger integrity, they mean they want to have the ability to punish anyone that dares to point out the system is so fucking broke only an asshat would actually trust it.

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      I have it on good authority that trying to ensure the integrity of the vote is voter suppression.

    • Lackadaisical

      Most countries seem to have voter ID requirements, yet they’ll still parrot the line that republicans are trying to suppress voting by not randomly sending out blank ballots to randos.

      • Rat on a train

        Most countries also have limits on immigration and naturalization, but criticize the US for laws that aren’t as strict as theirs.

      • Nephilium

        And the Democrats here complain about how the US isn’t as enlightened as Europe, while ignoring their laws on immigration, abortion, and minimum wages.

      • juris imprudent

        This is exactly why I hate most people – they have no fucking clue what they’re talking about.

    • Festus

      Inky thumbs.

  5. Trigger Hippie

    ? Yeeeaaaahhhh here comes the Roosterrrrr, oh yeah!!! You know he ain’t gonna diiiieeee! ?

  6. Festus

    Heh! Chimp is doing his best Dagwood Bumstead. Outstanding! Mornin Banjos!

  7. AlexinCT

    Are you homeschooling yet?

    I am absolutely lucky that my kid finished high school long before it got this bad. That I could deprogram him daily to make sure the stuff that stuck was what mattered and that the stupid falsehoods they used to imply but now peddle as facts were debunked. And most importantly, that he has developed a real good bullshit radar because of my efforts so the new wokesters will not be able to fuck him up. Those of you with kids out there in public school need to wise up that the system is designed to make your kids dumb good drones for the elite mandarinate which sends their kids to private school in order to give them a huge leg up in any type of competition that survives the woke dismantling of any kind of meritocracy.

  8. Swiss Servator

    “Man dies after getting stabbed by his rooster.”

    RIP, SIV.

    • AlexinCT

      At least the story isn’t about him trying to stick the rooster’s neck in a tightened dresser drawer so he could, erm, do some nasty things to it…

    • Tonio

      [golf clap] for Swiss. So early in the thread, too.

      • juris imprudent

        Well, the early bird…

    • Tres Cool

      Nobody has turned that into a cock joke yet?

      I haz disappoint

      • Sean

        When frottage goes wrong?

      • Bobarian LMD

        Man dies after being impaled by own cock?

      • straffinrun

        You know what other cock had bloodlust?

      • straffinrun

        Broken (or Orange) Wings – Sex with a disabled girl

        Knew there was something fucked up about Mister Mister.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Just don’t party with the guy with the blue wings and you’ll probably be OK.

  9. Tonio

    “some communities have been more successful at handling their finances, especially Saddle Butte, Montana”

    Now my thoughts are all about cowboys in assless chaps. Oh, wait, there’s an “e” on the end.

    • AlexinCT

      You do your reality, man!

    • Rat on a train

      They are all in Bumpass Virginia.

      • Tonio

        It’s actually a cute little place.

      • db

        Virginia *is* for lovers.

      • Chipwooder

        A friend of mine in high school grew up in Bumpass before his family moved to Richmond. Being teenaged boys, we delighted in torturing him by always referring to his hometown as “Bump-ASS” rather than its actual pronunciation of “BUMP-ess”

    • Festus

      Saddle-sores.

    • Trigger Hippie

      Here’s to sin with bowlegged men?

      • Tonio

        [giggles behind hand]

    • Tres Cool

      Point of order- by their very design, chaps are already ass-less.

      Carry on.

      • Tonio

        I was just towing the lion.

      • Tres Cool

        Some euphemism.

        I think Ive seen that group on the pr0nhub

      • Tonio

        Somehow “assless chaps” became a meme back in the day (TOS). I forget who started it. At some point I just gave in and started using that construct.

        Yeah, there’s a fetish or paraphilia for pretty much everything. Just learned that a friend of mine is into lederhosen which I find cute but impractical (hot, sweaty, fungus cultivating).

    • bacon-magic

      Butte is like cunte…

    • Agent Cooper

      What’s up, Saddlebutt?

  10. Tundra

    Good morning, Banjos!

    Our fuckheads are paying $12k to the influencers – the rest is some nebulous “communications plan”. Oh, and they’ve preemptively installed barriers and barbed wire around the courthouse. Further, they have brought in a bunch of outside prosecution help – after months of declaring the fucking cop guilty.

    No chance of a fair trial. My prediction: he is found guilty and the city still burns.

    I kind of expected this song.

    Have a great day!

    • Rat on a train

      Not-guilty: riots of rage
      Guilty: riots of joy

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The city of Minneapolis will be hiring six social media influencers to spread city-approved messages about the trial of Derek Chauvin, the police officer being charged with murder for the death of George Floyd, CBS News reports.

      The hiring of social media influencers is part of a larger communications initiative by the city which is expected to cost$1,181,500. Each of the six social media influencers will be paid $2,000.

      The influencers are supposed to dispel misinformation about the trial and killing and are expected to be largely targeting minority groups within the city.

      According to Minneapolis City Council, the goal is to “increase access to information to communities that do not typically follow mainstream news sources or City communications channels and/or who do not consume information in English.”

      It will also apparently help establish “two-way communication” between the city and the people who live there.

      How is that not poisoning the jury pool?

      • straffinrun

        I dunno, but I got some free time. Maybe I’ll submit my application.

      • Swiss Servator

        Tell them you can guarantee peace in Tokyo!

      • rhywun

        No idea. An honest judge would immediately declare a mistrial, I think?

      • Bobarian LMD

        Someone believes in unicorns,

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        How is that not poisoning the jury pool?

        I’d say it absolutely is poisoning the well.

        It also looks to me like the beginnings of state sponsored media.

        Yes, the MSM has been in the tank and provided cover to government for decades, but the media is not straight up paid by government bodies to spread the word (except PBS, which isn’t quite the same). This is something different.

      • db

        Well, to be fair, government media/press offices have existed for a long time. The difference here is that they seem to be explicitly paying people not officially employed by the government to post, essentially, propaganda, and to make it look like it is *not* coming from the government’s press office.

        In what way is this different than “Russian” paid social media posts “interfering” in internal US affairs?

  11. Lackadaisical

    Regarding Boston, they need to be taken to court. You can’t cancel programs because you don’t like the racial makeup of the participants, at least in any neutral reading of anti discrimination laws.

    So, yeah, there is no hope.

    • Agent Cooper

      Sadly, I think they can cancel any programs they want.

    • Festus

      She couldn’t just wave her magic wand and make the icky people go away? I’m really starting to doubt the Bidens’ commitment to Sparkle-Vision.

    • straffinrun

      That Richmond Coliseum looks like something out of Sanford & Sons.

      • Tres Cool

        +1 Big Dummy

      • juris imprudent

        If it’s that ugly shouldn’t it’s name be Esther?

      • Tonio

        It is iconic. Brutalism but without the charm of a Soviet era soccer stadium. And don’t get me started on how “we [taxpayers] need [to pay for] a new coliseum to enrich the mayor and his friends.

        For some context, the coliseum is within a few blocks of both city hall and the state capitol.

      • Rebel Scum

        There has been a plan to revamp that part of the city for awhile. Strangely nothing has happened and it will cost the taxpayers dearly when it does. There are reasons I do not venture into the city anymore. They are not getting my money.

    • Rebel Scum

      Dems love the poor. That’s why they make so many of them.

    • zwak

      God, maybe she will come to Oregon, clean up all the homeless encampments trash here.

  12. db

    Yeah, they gonna snuff that rooster.

    • Festus

      Iiii ain’t gonnaa Dieeee!

  13. The Late P Brooks

    How is that not poisoning the jury pool?

    I’m sure they would prefer to think of it as “managing expectations”.

    • straffinrun

      Stressful situation. Everybody is holding their breath.

    • rhywun

      “Fortifying justice”.

  14. Swiss Servator

    “Answer a survey question to continue reading this content” for the VA speech article.

    No thanks.

    • Tonio

      Sorry about that. RTD has been douchey about paywalling content.

      • Swiss Servator

        Not your fault – If you already had ads covering most of the page, the “survey or no read” seems like overkill.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!

  15. The Late P Brooks

    That Richmond story is impressive in its obdurate refusal to treat the idea of homeless people as anything other than some sort of baffling natural phenomenon.

    Why are there people sleeping on the sidewalk?

    It happens, sometimes. Natural causes.

    • Festus

      Lots of random drumsticks laying about.

      • Tonio

        Also good panhandling from the students at VCU/MCV medical school which is on the same campus as the hospital.

    • rhywun

      The rent is too damn high! is the usual excuse when they feel like providing one.

    • straffinrun

      Since they don’t seem to care about addresses when it comes to voting, they aren’t going to be in any hurry to house the homeless.

    • Tonio

      I have been frequently and stridently informed that it’s because of lack of shelter space, not the obstinate refusal of the hardcore homeless to go to those shelters, abide by the rules there, etc.

      • juris imprudent

        +1 Joyce Brown

      • Pope Jimbo

        There have been many times in my life as I drove into work at ungodly hours that I have admired the homeless and maybe even secretly admired them.

        They have stripped their lives down to the bare essentials. They aren’t in the rat race like I am. They understand that if you get down to brass tacks you don’t need to do much to get drunk and high every day. But you have to give up a home, family, baths etc. Just get that money for a 40 and you are good for another day.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        I knew a guy that sometimes did some yardwork for me. Once upon a time, he owned a very successful commercial painting business with several employees and trucks. Meth took over and he lost everything. Him and his wife scrambled every day to come up with enough money for drugs and $35 for a night at the Motel 8. I’d occasionally get requests from them for bail money. The grandparents took custody of their kid.

        He ended up overdosing a couple years ago while watching his 3 or 4 year old son by himself. The kid was trapped in the room with his father’s body for hours.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        ⬆⬆⬆ Debbie Downer ⬆⬆⬆

      • Pope Jimbo

        So there was a meth-od to his madness?

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        well done

    • db

      “I’m picking up the dead. I’m putting my hands around this dead body. I’m, I’m carrying his limp torso to the truck. And he feels like like he has only been dead a little while but…”

    • juris imprudent

      It is purely the product of the callousness of our society – because YOU PEOPLE don’t care like WE DO. We care, do you hear me! Now give me money to solve this.

  16. Drake

    Are you home schooling yet?

    This guy isn’t.

    “Meet Matt Meyer. White man with dreads and president of the local teachers’ union,” the group wrote in a tweet on Saturday along with video footage of Meyer. “He’s been saying it is unsafe for *your kid* to be back at school, all the while dropping his kid off at private school.”

    • OBJ FRANKELSON
    • Agent Cooper

      The reporter doesn’t seem to mind.

    • Rat on a train

      #DemocratsForDueProcessForDemocrats

      • Not Adahn

        #believeallwomenexceptthosewomenthataccusedemocrats

      • juris imprudent

        Look they sacrificed Al Franken, isn’t that enough?

  17. Rufus the Monocled

    Are we there yet?

      • Rufus the Monocled

        I truly am sickened by all this and the pieces of shits in government.

        And Canadians above all….sheesh….I know we’re apathetic but didn’t realize it was to this degree. You don’t have to quarantine. You’ll get a ticket but that’s it. A true disgrace this country has become. And let’s not talk about Quebec. As usual, it manages to be the piss hole worst.

        Chris Sky is fucken legend though.

        https://www.instagram.com/tv/CLkzuFAB7wx/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

      • Rufus the Monocled

        By the way, the tickets get thrown out of court.

      • straffinrun

        Good for him. Little surprising they aren’t cooking up some bogus charge to throw at him..

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Oh they’ve been on him since last June. The guy is probably the most arrested and ticketed man in Canadian history at this point. He’s been fighting this since last June. Really, I can but tip my hat to him. He’s stunned as we all are at what the state has done and that people just take it like a bunch of cucked out sheep.

        AND CONTINUE to keep buying into the lies and bull shit.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    “WE” need to build more affordable housing.

    I hear that a lot, but never from the people who actually own land and engage in construction projects. I wonder why that is.

    • juris imprudent

      Because according to those very same people, government is just what we all do together.

    • Drake

      I hear it from builders around here all the time. It’s code for “the town needs to lay down sewer and water services at their expense so we can build a bunch of townhouses that would normally violate the zoning regulations”.

  19. Not Adahn

    Yusef, in re: infinite mushrooms:

    What I like to do is confit them. Grind them up, and put the paste in a pan, cook them with a little butter, and when they start drying out, add more butter. Keep doing this until they’ve absorbed all they can. I then put the stuff in jars iand keep it indfeinitely in the fridge. Spread it on pretty much anything (meat, toast, whatever), stir it into scrambled eggs, rice or pasta.

    • Aloysious

      What a great idea. Thanks for that.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      Why bring something back from 27fricken years ago?

      • Tres Cool

        In order to troll the twatters for users that exhibit anti-government sentiments.
        Then compile another list.

    • bacon-magic

      *Janet Reno burns now & forever

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I love the comments “The cultists did it to themselves!”

      As if de-escalation wasn’t an option.

      • KromulentKristen

        Yes, those young children brought it on themselves

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        And likely by people who were no older than preteens at the Time, and still don’t know shit about shit.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    Are we there yet?

    It’s downhill all the way, on a smooth wide road.

    • Bobarian LMD

      The Good Intention Highway!

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      They have an interesting website, if you want to see what they’re going to try to cram down everyone’s throat in the future have a look:

      https://www.weforum.org/

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I think that’s peak “Top Men”.

      • juris imprudent

        That’s why they meet in Switzerland!

      • Rufus the Monocled

        My buddy lived in Switzerland for work and headed to Davos a few times. He says nothing serious happens there. Even WEF. Just a bunch of people who need real jobs.

        Dunno if he’s right. I have no idea to what degree they actually have influence.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Obviously Swiss would know better.

      • Swiss Servator

        Top. Men. deciding what drums to beat – “Global Warming” had tied up many years of pronouncements.

      • juris imprudent

        The rich and bored.

      • KromulentKristen

        (not meant as a ?)

    • Pope Jimbo

      Speaking of lockdowns leading to quieter cities, Minneapolis is fighting white supremacy with a 20mph speed limit on all streets.

      Minneapolis’ Public Works Director Robin Hutcheson said speed limits can also be tied to racial equity, climate consciousness and prosperity. By lowering the speed limit, for example, the city can reduce the number of accidents — crashes that disproportionately impact people of color, she said. At the same time, reducing speeds makes it more comfortable for people not to drive, which reduces levels of greenhouse gasses that contribute to climate change. “Quality of life is behind everything we’re doing,” said Hutcheson. “Our streets, our right-of-ways, are the leverage points for the broad outcomes we want to see.”

      I eagerly look forward to the stories six months from now about BIPOC being victims of racist speed limit laws.

      p.s. Suck it Somalia! You give up your leverage on streets and you deserve your hell hole!

      • l0b0t

        …reducing speeds makes it more comfortable for people not to drive…

        NYC has already done this, what they mean by the above quote is that they want driving to your destination to take more time than walking to it. It’s bloody pernicious. First they said the reduced speed limit would only be on city streets that had no posted limit. Then they took down all of our 40 MPH signs and replaced them 25 MPH signs (and speed cameras).

      • Plisade

        “I will stop the motor of the world.”

      • dontreadonme

        How is that not the Bee? Haz a sadz

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Bull. Shit. Seasonality, immunity from infection and vaccination, and the fact that that the standards for the number of cycles they run the Covid tests was reduced to weed out false positives all play a more important role than what they’re pushing.

      • Pope Jimbo

        My favorite is:

        Flu cases have disappeared because everyone is wearing their mask!

        We have these spikes because no one was wearing their mask!

        Did the public health experts prove their point by showing that flu cases also tracked to compliance levels?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Covid can be diagnosed symptomatically and doesn’t require a positive test. Flu is just being rolled into it and any medical professional that doesn’t point that out is either lying or a fool.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Are you trying to imply that the numbers we have been being fed might not be 100% accurate?

        DENIER! BURN, BURN, BURN!

    • Rufus the Monocled

      Over.
      Fucken.
      Masks.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Utter bullshit

    • Pope Jimbo

      Hold on….

      They swore that if people didn’t cower at home for T-Giving there would be huge spikes. People disobeyed in droves and no spikes.

      Sturgis? Going to be zillions of cases because no one was listening to the experts and shutting that down. Didn’t happen.

      Christmas was a repeat of T-Giving. Minnesoda’s public health experts were still saying at the end of January that they were still worried about a delayed spike from Christmas dinners.

      Osterholm said that the worst was still to come (about a month ago) because of the new variants.

      But yeah, sign me up for whatever newsletters that the public health folks have come out with recently because they’ve been so good at this stuff.

      • Nephilium

        The part that’s really chapping my ass is the articles of shame about bars that have been cited for violating safety protocols. It then take months for them to get their hearing, and the punishment is almost always an x days suspension of their liquor license (starting ~2 weeks out) or a several thousand dollar fine. Which just makes the cash grab over “safety” so fucking blatant (to me at least).

    • Rufus the Monocled

      Oh noes! People will go back to normal! Fucken bull shit all this crap.

    • Agent Cooper

      EXPERTS FUCK OFF!

    • Rebel Scum

      Experts say rise and fall depends on cycle of following guidelines

      The only “guideline” I follow is maintaining normal hygiene. I’ve been generally healthy with the regular sniffle or two as is my norm for this time of year.

      • R C Dean

        Experts say, without evidence, that the rise and fall depends on cycle of following guidelines

    • KromulentKristen

      (I see you L0b0t…or should I say Slowtep Jesus?)

      • l0b0t

        Tee hee. On the other hand, 2 decades of attending Seders/High Holidays/family events with Miami and NYC (and Israeli) Hasidim makes me wonder if passenger behavior played a part. Unfortunately, we’ll never know because the abysmal PR response has overshadowed everything else.

      • straffinrun

        That sounds familiar….

      • Tulip

        I can’t find the slowtep tweet. Am I blind?

      • KromulentKristen

        He didn’t Tweet – he just Liked my reply

    • Ownbestenemy

      Give people that are supposed to be attending the safety of the passengers and the flight this newfound power of kicking off whoever they don’t like under arbitrary rules and this is what you get.

      • KromulentKristen

        Definitely…but that Tweet. Who is their PR firm? It’s laughable.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Yeah its bad. MWW is their PR firm that they used to build their brand after their bankruptcy but I don’t know if they are running their Twatter. I am glad to see a lot of these struggle tweets that attempt to stand on some moral leg are getting called out.

        It sucks, they are cheap for us when we need to fly one of our teens, but Ill pay the extra $10 to fly someone else.

  21. Pope Jimbo

    Turns out the $1.2B budget shortfall will actually be a $1.6B surplus in Sunny Minnesoda. Good news! No need for tax increases.

    You idiot! Of course there are going to be tax increases. Instead of being for a dirty reason like paying the state’s bills, the tax increases will be for pure and noble reasons like income equality and bailing out the Teacher’s Union.

    And DFL leaders and advocacy groups continue to push for some tax hikes on corporations and high-earners, for what they term as tax fairness issues rather than a requirement to pay for new spending. Walz’s plan would add spending in public education for both general support and summer school, small business assistance, child care grants, tuition assistance for job changers and other social and economic supports tied to the pandemic.

    If the GOP doesn’t turn the DFL’s attempt to shovel more money at the Teacher’s Union into their #1 issue for the next election, they are as dumb as I thought they were. After the teachers insisted that they get priority for Rona shots and still are resisting returning to classes, I’m not sure there is any love for them.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Higher than expected revenue is only part of the equation, he said. Two significant spending areas have seen reductions as well: payments to school districts because of declining enrollment; and reduced use of health care coupled with an increased share of those costs covered by the federal government.

      Those savings are worth $456 million. Walz has already proposed using state funds to hold school districts harmless for enrollment losses, though Senate GOP leaders are less willing.

      Yes, yes, just because enrollment declined doesn’t mean that funding should decline! That is just crazy talk.

  22. The Late P Brooks

    Freedom of speech is scary and dangerous and must be stopped

    One day before the insurrection at the U.S. Capitol in January, thousands of miles away in northern California, anger began to boil over at a meeting of the Shasta County Board of Supervisors.

    “This is a scamdemic, it’s a plandemic, and it’s a damndemic. We’re sick of it!” one woman shouted.

    Again and again, residents railed against public officials for enforcing social distancing rules. Some warned of “civil war” and possible violent resistance from militias and other groups.

    The potential consequences of false ideas played out in deadly form on Jan. 6, when extremist supporters of former President Donald Trump – inspired by his lie that the November election was stolen – attacked the Capitol. But widespread acceptance of disinformation is shaping the political process at all levels of government.

    Conspiracy theories, disinformation and distrust in the election system have sewn controversy, and even violence, at all levels of government in recent months. In several communities – including Sequim, Wash., and San Luis Obispo, Calif., local officials’ support for the baseless QAnon conspiracy theory has angered and divided residents.

    ——-

    Andra Gillespie, a political science professor at Emory University in Atlanta, said growing disenchantment with the political process, fueled by widespread misinformation, can breed political violence and insurrection.

    “Will people who feel disaffected not show up in elections and kind of become indifferent to everything?” she said. “Or will they be compelled to engage in other forms of political activity that would be destabilizing?”

    Another danger, Gillespie said, is bad policy – promoted through false narratives. She points to efforts by Republican lawmakers in several states to pass new voting restrictions, saying they need to protect election integrity after Trump’s loss.

    People who think for themselves are a threat to the government.

    No shit, Shirley.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Andra Gillespie, a political science professor at Emory University in Atlanta, said growing disenchantment with the political process, fueled by widespread misinformation, can breed political violence and insurrection.

      Everybody knows that insurrections never happen when the public isn’t “misinformed”

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      When the former go tos for information are even less accurate than InfoWars then this is what you get.

    • Rebel Scum

      Conspiracy theories, disinformation and distrust in the election system have sewn controversy,

      Perhaps we should take steps to ensure the integrity of elections so there is trust in the system going forward.

      fueled by widespread misinformation

      Such as Russian collusion and Trump praising white-supremes?

      • R C Dean

        I still count the first misinformation about the election as the announcement the day after the election by over a hundred “experts” that it was the cleanest, most secure election ever. An announcement made when there was no way to know if that was the case or not. Pure propoganda, pre-arranged, and the timing was “the guilty flee when none pursue”.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        ?

  23. Rebel Scum

    Trump still the master troll.

    That did give me a good chuckle yesterday.

  24. Rebel Scum

    Former President Trump won the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) straw poll on Sunday, with 55 percent of respondents saying they would vote for him in a hypothetical 2024 primary.

    He’s got my vote even if only for the lulz.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      He’ll be a bit old to run but will probably assume the role of kingmaker. DeSantis, Noem, and Paul would all have my next vote before him.

      • creech

        A lot could happen to America, to Trump, to Biden, to Harris in the next three years.

      • Swiss Servator

        Biden won’t finish the calendar year. He is circling the drain.

      • Rebel Scum

        True. Kamala is just Biden her time*.

        *And probably going around the White House putting kinks in the rugs.

      • Threedoor

        My prediction was he was in a home 18 months from the election. Dead within two years.

  25. Rebel Scum

    Efforts underway in key battleground states to return voting systems to pre-2020 rules

    Sounds racist.

  26. The Late P Brooks

    Distrust in institutions and political polarization are a dangerous combination, according to Adam Enders, a political scientist at the University of Louisville. While false conspiracy theories have always been around, he said they’ve been embraced and promoted by growing number of influential leaders in recent years – from former President Trump to pastors to prominent business owners.

    “And they have political reasons for doing this, whether it’s their consumer base or their congregation, winning this culture war or something along those lines,” he said.

    Enders said that can create fertile ground for authoritarian leaders to manipulate the public and stoke political violence.

    “Because the more that people lack confidence and trust in institutions, the more they’re willing to buck norms and ignore institutions when it’s good for their side,” he said. “That’s when we see institutions start to fall apart, and norms crumble – and that’s an environment that we can’t really predict.”

    Liberals use the mighty powers of government for good. We can’t have the wrong sort of people getting the reins. That way madness lies.

  27. The Other Kevin

    “The city with the highest foreclosure rate is Brea, California, followed by Barnegat, New Jersey, and Hobart, Indiana.”

    That’s one town over from me. Don’t bother looking to relocate there.

  28. The Other Kevin

    TPTB: I finished two more paintings and I’m planning on continuing my Glib art series. One of the paintings is a female figure from the back. Is a painting of a naked butt ok to post here? I don’t want to to anything to jeopardize our Family Friendly rating.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      *faints*

    • bacon-magic

      You must title it “Ass Sex”.

    • juris imprudent

      [snorts coffee on keyboard and monitor]

    • Tres Cool

      Only if she’s latina and has a line of coke above her crack.

      You know, like some powder cocaine

      *stupid video, but I really dont mind the tune

  29. Stinky Wizzleteats

    “ Fluvoxamine vs Placebo and Clinical Deterioration in Outpatients With Symptomatic COVID-19: A Randomized Clinical Trial”

    https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33180097/

    Looks like it might limit disease progression through cytokine regulation. It seems promising and with the side benefit of maybe it’ll cut down on the obsessions of some of these crazy people (it’s an SSRI used to treat OCD).

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Dr. Drew mentioned Luvox recently, though not as specifically as that.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        PS. Fun fact: Fauci gave us Loveline by charging Dr. D with disseminating AIDS info.

  30. Rebel Scum

    Minneapolis spends $1,818,500 to spread ‘city-approved’ messaging about George Floyd’s trial via social media influencers

    I assume they are informing everyone that he died of a fentanyl overdose.

    • pistoffnick

      Meh. Even druggies don’t deserve a knee to the neck.

  31. Rebel Scum

    Federal judge rules Miss USA pageant can exclude dudes.

    This should not require a legal opinion.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Don’t be a dick about it

      • juris imprudent

        You haven’t seen the end of this!

      • Nephilium

        So just the tip?

      • bacon-magic

        What a way to lose a boner.

      • mindyourbusiness

        There’s a vas deferens between biological females and trannies.

      • juris imprudent

        Just tying up some loose ends?

    • The Other Kevin

      You have to have some balls to say something like that.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Think they will appeal all the way to SCROTUS?

      • The Other Kevin

        Yes, but I think the case is in the bag.

    • Rat on a train

      Enjoy the temporary victory. The Equality Act will force the judge to make the correct ruling.

      • juris imprudent

        Don’t you mean the RHEEEE-quality Act?

    • Tres Cool

      That’s just nuts.

    • juris imprudent

      No Y!

    • Plisade

      So after the pageant gives trans women the shaft, will they then be eligible to be included?

      • Rebel Scum

        That’s one way to let your eyes whisper.

    • Not Adahn

      Meh. If they can pass well enough to win, more power to them. And their surgeon should get a prize too.

      • R C Dean

        Of course, if they don’t win, that’s because transphobia. So they’ll win.

      • Rat on a train

        Vote like your life depends on it.

  32. Pope Jimbo

    I would love to see the accounting numbers behind this report claiming Minneapolis pays more in than it gets back from the state in taxes.

    A new report shows that businesses and residents in Minneapolis pay significantly more in taxes to the state than the city receives back in aid.

    The report released Thursday from the Minneapolis Regional Chamber found that in 2017 the city paid out $1.97 billion in taxes while receiving just $543 million in state aid — a ratio of 3.5 to 1.

    “Minnesota has an interconnected economy, where all regions contribute to and support the success of one another,” said Jonathan Weinhagen, the president and CEO of the Minneapolis Regional Chamber, in a statement. “However, the data in this report makes it clear that, from a revenue perspective, those contributions are not equivalent.”

    All that money probably goes to Greater Minnesoda to pay for their sportzball stadiums. Oh, and to repair the damage from the Brainerd riots.

    My guess is that they didn’t count the money that our Met Council gives them as aid money.

  33. Drake

    Mumbly Joe isn’t getting better.

    • db

      As a human being, I feel bad for the guy. But then I think about how he has spent nearly 50 years making life worse for everyone, and I figure shit balances out a bit.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I have no sympathy for that corrupt POS.

      • Rebel Scum

        ^

      • Pope Jimbo

        I know what you mean. And like you I have managed to banish any sympathy for him.

        The real monster in this is DR. Jill Biden. If you loved Joe why would you do this to him?

      • Swiss Servator

        The purpose of power is power.

      • Tres Cool

        Look, fat- Corn Pop was a bad dude, OK ?

  34. The Other Kevin

    I know we all hate CNN, but I thing MSN might be even worse. For some reason on one of my computers, MSN is set as the home page. This weekend they had an article about Republicans trying to “change the rules” of voting based on the “myth” of the last election being stolen. I didn’t see them mention that the rules changes were meant to undo the “election fortification”. This is supposedly one of the news outlets that will NOT be banned for “disinformation”.

    • Pope Jimbo

      I don’t know. MSN Fauci enough rope to hang himself (although to be fair, I’m not sure either of them understand that is what is happening).

      Appearing Sunday on CBS’ “Face the Nation,” Fauci — the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases — described Noem’s remarks as “unfortunate.”

      “It is not really helpful. Because sometimes you think things are going well, and just take a look at the numbers. They don’t lie,” he said, adding: “I’m sure that you can get a standing ovation by saying I’m wrong.”

      Noem is going to win me over if she keeps doing good things like provoking Fauci. Poor little guy doesn’t like anyone making fun of him.

    • Chipwooder

      Dem rule-changing in 2020: good.

      Rep rule changing after 2020: bad.

      See, it’s easy!

  35. Rebel Scum

    Thangulla Satish, 45, attached a 3-inch blade to the rooster’s leg, which is standard practice to prepare the birds for the brutal sport. The bird fluttered and the knife hit Satish in the leg, causing massive blood loss. He died on the way to the hospital, officials reported.

    Just a little bit ironic.

    • Tres Cool

      I’d bet on that bird for his next match.

      • Not Adahn

        Next match? I’d think if it kills a person, it should get a lifetime supply of corn and a harem. I wonder if there are fighting rooster stud fees to be made/

  36. Ownbestenemy

    Now that the adult-lite are in the White House we are getting consistently inconsistent messaging on the vaccine.

    Locally they are running contrary to Fooci and are saying “If you get any one of these vaccines, it prevents you from getting sick and dying from [COVID-19],”

    https://www.fox5vegas.com/coronavirus/get-any-vaccine-doctors-explain-importance-of-third-vaccine-option-for-americans/article_6f62fd80-78c2-11eb-bc36-270aab4fcbcc.html?block_id=1002218

    • invisible finger

      It’s COVID-21 that’ll kill ya now.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Needs more guillotine.

  37. Festus

    Good Day, Glibbies! We actually had a Christian rally against the lock-downs, locally. They had maybe 80 people show up but the comments in the paper were not inspiring. Everyone is still trying to kill Grandma, apparently. I don’t know how much longer I can keep my own head down.

    • Tres Cool

      Both my grammaws are dead. I dont really care.

    • Festus

      I just deem it sad that a bunch of God-botherers are the only ones willing to stand up for themselves and their rights. If I’d been sober enough I would have gone and joined them.

      • Tres Cool

        Bob & Doug would have been there, with a two-for, back bacon, smokes, and some crullers eh.

  38. Rat on a train

    Filed taxes over the weekend. Federal and state, income and payroll, total was 25% of AGI.

    • Threedoor

      Ugh. I don’t even want to know what mine will be on top of estimated 1040s. Probably more than I have.

  39. l0b0t

    On last night’s Viva Frei and Robert Barnes stream (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFijA0nqfwg), it was put forward that perhaps the reason Rat-Faced Andy The Mobbed Up Lawyer is getting his double helping of #metoo is to provide a way for him to slink off without his nursing home murders being thoroughly investigated.

    • Tres Cool

      “Look over here! Im a dirty perv now!”

      (for some reason, I heard Dice Clay’s voice in my head when I typed that)

      • AlexinCT

        So murdering grandma & grandpa is worse than hitting on chix in a disgusting way? Who woulda thunk it?

    • Rat on a train

      All your cat pics are now in the wild.

  40. robc

    Baseball birthdays: With 0.0 WAR there is a tie at 23rd between Jimmy Hurst, who had 17 at bats in 1972, and my Mom, who never made it to MLB.

    Really, no one worth mentioning today. Paul Hines had a decent career, but he also retired in 1891.

    • robc

      Fun fact: For Social Security eligibility and etc, people born on the 1st of the month (like my Mom) are considered to be born in the previous month. Basically, the best I can figure, from actually researching this a few years back, is that sometime in the distant past a programmer made a fence post error, and instead of correcting the bug, they got the law changed.

  41. Not Adahn

    No idea what this means if anything, but the local news has started referring to NY’s AG Letitia James as “‘Tish.” Which is of course wrong, because there is only one ‘Tish.

    • l0b0t

      Everyone knows the proper way to say her name is LAY-TIT-TEEA.

    • Swiss Servator

      Humanizing her in preparation for the next governor’s race. She fired the first salvo that is ridding us of Evil Andy. But it was not in a self-disinterested way.

  42. R C Dean

    I was wondering when Biden stopped building the border wall if they were going to actually tear it out. And it looks like the wheels are in motion.

    A coalition of nearly 70 environmental groups, civil-rights organizations and tribal entities sent a report last week to lawmakers and Biden administration officials asking for 59 miles of 30-foot-tall border wall in Arizona to be removed, along with sections of wall elsewhere along the U.S.-Mexico border.

      • pistoffnick

        Taxcattle = Luke

      • UnCivilServant

        What’s his ditch doing under my dirt? He needs to move his ditch.

    • Pope Jimbo

      I’m sure that those groups will raise the money to tear the wall out.

      I mean I’m sure they wouldn’t expect the govt to spend money for no reason at all.

    • rhywun

      “It’s so difficult to pick out specific locations where we feel the wall needs to come down, because the right thing to do would be to tear it down everywhere,” he said.

      How hard is it to identify the sections that Trump built duh

  43. The Late P Brooks

    More from the shit flinging howler monkeys about the CPAC stage

    Hyatt said all aspects of conference logistics, including the stage design, were managed by the American Conservative Union, which organized the conference.

    The comparisons were “outrageous and slanderous”, Matt Schlapp, chair of the American Conservative Union, said on Saturday. He added the organization had a “long standing commitment to the Jewish community” and that the conference featured several Jewish speakers.

    In its statement on Sunday, Hyatt said: “We take the concern raised about the prospect of symbols of hate being included in the stage design at CPAC 2021 very seriously as all such symbols are abhorrent and unequivocally counter to our values as a company.”

    Good grief. The only response that deserves is, “Don’t you morons have anything better to do?”

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Yeah, “get fucked” is the only good response. The conservatives are still too stupid to learn apparently.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Well, no, they don’t

  44. The Late P Brooks

    Helicopter money

    With the floodgates set to open on another round of unemployment aid, states are being hammered with a new wave of fraud as they scramble to update security systems and block scammers who already have siphoned billions of dollars from pandemic-related jobless programs.

    The fraud is fleecing taxpayers, delaying legitimate payments and turning thousands of Americans into unwitting identity theft victims. Many states have failed to adequately safeguard their systems, and a review by The Associated Press finds that some will not even publicly acknowledge the extent of the problem.

    The massive sham springs from prior identity theft from banks, credit rating agencies, health care systems and retailers. Fraud perpetrators, sometimes in China, Nigeria or Russia, buy stolen personal identifying information on the dark web and use it to flood state unemployment systems with bogus claims.

    Dump more, faster!

    Some of it might hit the target.

    • R C Dean

      Not explained: why we need unemployment relief when the unemployment rate is less than half what it was at its peak last April, and down to levels at or below what it was for most of Obama’s term.

    • LJW

      I got a notice from my employer that someone filed a claim in my name. They responded to the state that it was fraud. I submitted a form to the state that it was fraud. A month later I’m still getting unemployment statements…

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’m now at the three month mark of turning in my taxes and the feds haven’t even started on my return.

    • juris imprudent

      Helicopters are passé, they’re dropping this from B-52s now. Money carpet bombing!

  45. KromulentKristen

    Watch the first season of Shot in the Dark on Netflix. It was really good, aside from the manufactured drama between the stringers. The ride-along stuff was great.

  46. Nephilium

    So… just in case it wasn’t clear that the DC movie universe is killing themselves faster then can be imagined:

    ‘Superman’ reboot in the works from J.J. Abrams, Ta-Nehisi Coates

    It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s … yet another “Superman”!

    And this time, Superman may be black.

    If you don’t go see it and loudly proclaim that it’s the best superhero movie ever, you’re a racist.

    • R C Dean

      I will be genuinely shocked if they don’t make him black.

      • kbolino

        Cast a good actor, tell a good story, and most people won’t give a shit.

        Cast a bad actor, tell a boring story, overbudget it, and whine in the press, and voila! White supremacy in action.

      • UnCivilServant

        Cast a good actor, tell a good story, and most people won’t give a shit.

        *whines*But that’s hard work*/whine*

      • Nephilium

        I was genuinely surprised by Doom Patrol. They introduced Danny the Street a sentient, genderqueer, teleporting street. They were handled quite well, and made an interesting addition to a group that was already all over the place on characters. So far, I’ve only seen the first season, so they may shit the bed in the second, I don’t know yet.

        Black Lightning has been decent as well. Batwoman and Supergirl have both gone woke as hell.

      • kbolino

        I got burned out on superheroes and Star Wars and other “nerd” media awhile back. I originally watched all of the Marvel movies starting with Iron Man but couldn’t be bothered to see the last Avengers movie. I stopped at Rogue One with the new Star Wars, too. I watched most of the first season of The Boys but after four or so episodes of biting social commentary on the Bush years as seen by Michael Moore I found it tired. At least RoboCop has some decent entertainment value that carries past its undercurrent of Reaganism as seen by an enlightened continental European. It’s boring and stale (to me, at least) and as a fortunate side effect, I’m not giving (as much) money or attention to people who hate me.

      • Rebel Scum

        And female. Played by Queen Latifa.

    • kbolino

      Coates has managed to do very well for being such a mediocre writer with an unoriginal mind.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        The lefties loooooooove him.

        I thought Terry Gross was going to sploosh herself when she interviewed him. Incredible deference was shown to such a towering intellect.

      • kbolino

        Andrew Sullivan used to heap effusive praise on him when they were both working for The Atlantic (maybe they still do, I haven’t paid attention to Sullivan much since he crawled up Sarah Palin’s vagina). That was probably the first warning sign for me that Sullivan might be a hack.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Eventually Coates will be displaced by Kendi, who you just know is cooking up scripts to sell to Hollywood idiotsonce his conculting gig gets old.

      • kbolino

        To borrow loosely/poorly from Dave Chappelle, Kendi is what would happen if Coates learned about Malcom X.

      • R C Dean

        conculting gig

        Excellent.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Doesn’t matter, you’ll never be able to tell what color he is because of all the lens flare obscuring him.

    • Not Adahn

      In this univers, Superman is from the planet Kawanda that was destroyed by wypipo.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Old, white men who used black slaves to drill for kryptonite until the planet exploded.

    • bacon-magic

      Perfect actor for this role: Robert Downey Jr.

      • Ownbestenemy

        it was seen…and laughed at

      • kbolino

        I hear people say you can’t make Blazing Saddles today, but it was made in 1974 so there is a kind of sense that while something has been lost, it took four plus decades. But in fact you couldn’t even make Tropic Thunder today either and it’s barely been more than a decade since that one came out.

      • dontreadonme

        Never go full retard.

    • CPRM

      Why not just make a movie about one of their black superheros? Or you know, The Man of Steel?

      • Rat on a train

        They love a different Man of Steel.

  47. The Late P Brooks

    In this univers, Superman is from the planet Kawanda that was destroyed by wypipo.

    “In a world enslaved by Zod, one man has the strength to rise up…”

  48. R C Dean

    I guess the World Economic Forum got ratioed so hard for tweeting that lockdowns were improving cities around the world that they deleted the tweet.

    With this one:

    We’re deleting this tweet. Lockdowns aren’t “quietly improving cities” around the world. But they are an important part of the public health response to COVID-19.

    Not mentioned: whether this “important part of the public health response” was actually doing any good.

    • kbolino

      Judging by the comments, nobody actually believes they changed their minds, they just didn’t like the optics of it.

      The entire “lockdown” business has been largely motte-and-bailey. “Lockdowns work!” says someone who never missed a grocery delivery. Lots of people still went to work, a whole sector of the economy exploded overnight, and the government-defined class of “essential workers” expanded (greatly) over time, such that if we were to have another “lockdown” there’d be even fewer people staying at home than last time. Of course, whether an actual “full” lockdown would have stopped the virus is mostly irrelevant since we’d have no food, no power, no water, and other severe problems to deal with.

      We have done a swimmingly good job of creating stark class divisions in our society, however, so hooray for that.

  49. The Late P Brooks

    Lockdowns aren’t “quietly improving cities” around the world. But they are an important part of the public health response to COVID-19.

    “Important” is strategically nonjudgemental. Important good or important bad? That’s up to the beholder. Hitler was Man of the Year, not necessarily because of his Good Works.

    I know where I come down.

  50. limey

    This is why I stay the hell away from social media, and shouldn’t have broken the rules. I ended up being on Instagram just to follow a few people actually doing interesting things related to work and hobbies. Anyway, I discover some guy with a really interesting feed, and in there is a post explaining his car has been stolen in the middle of the night and now he’s in a compromised position trying to take care of his dying father, in the midst of the Wu flu panic. I see some little shit has posted “it could be worse u could be living in trump’s America…” and when called out he’s all “such kind words ?”.

    The shear level of self-importance, absolute shallowness and emptiness of character, and complete lack of reason or compassion in these sick little people is still absolutely staggering.

  51. The Late P Brooks

    Champion of the working man

    Amazon warehouse workers in Alabama voting to unionize won the backing of an important executive.

    Without naming the massive e-commerce company specifically, President Biden said in a video posted late Sunday that he supports the organizing drive in Bessemer, Ala.

    “Today and over the next few days and weeks, workers in Alabama and all across America are voting on whether to organize a union in their workplace,” Biden said in a video shared on Twitter. “This is vitally important — a vitally important choice, as America grapples with the deadly pandemic, the economic crisis and the reckoning on race — what it reveals is the deep disparities that still exist in our country.”

    Giant unionized corporations working hand in glove with the federal government are the epitome of American exceptionalism. That’s what made this nation great.

    • Plisade

      Conflacism: noun. The conflation of every fucking thing with racism.

    • Agent Cooper

      “what it reveals is the deep disparities that still exist in our country.””

      How long can the Dems ride America sucks and will never ever get better?

      Also, why does no one say to all the systemic racism talk — your party had a virtual lock on Congress for 60 fucking years — what happened?

      • rhywun

        How long can the Dems ride America sucks and will never ever get better?

        As long as they’re in power because everything they do makes America worse.

  52. The Late P Brooks

    The shear level of self-importance, absolute shallowness and emptiness of character, and complete lack of reason or compassion in these sick little people is still absolutely staggering.

    Politics as religious fanaticism.

    You’re with us, or you’re evil.

    • kbolino

      It’s a low-effort status signal and among a different group of people it might have gotten likes rather than approbation.

    • db

      He’s a creep.

  53. The Late P Brooks

    But in fact you couldn’t even make Tropic Thunder today either and it’s barely been more than a decade since that one came out.

    What would happen to somebody who tried to re-create Sanford and Son?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Rollo and Hucklebuck would break your legs and then you’d be deplatformed.

    • kbolino

      They’d be badgered into making it soulless and unfunny.

      • Rat on a train

        On a very special episode …

  54. The Late P Brooks

    Biden warned in his video that there should be “no intimidation, no coercion, no threats, no anti-union propaganda” during union elections. He said, “It’s not up to an employer” to decide any union election.

    I…

    Fuck.

    • kbolino

      The Democrats and the AFL-CIO are so tightly in bed together that it’s questionable they are even nominally different organizations.

  55. The Late P Brooks

    Stuart Appelbaum, president of the RWDSU, thanked Biden for his support of the organizing drive.

    He said in statement, “As President Biden points out, the best way for working people to protect themselves and their families is by organizing into unions. And that is why so many working women and men are fighting for a union at the Amazon facility in Bessemer, Alabama.”

    Appelbaum told NPR in January that the Bessemer warehouse workers wanted to join a union over concerns with grueling productivity quotas and wanted more input on workplace policies.

    It’s like working in a nineteenth century Welsh coal mine, it is.

    • kbolino

      I’ll give these fucks some respect if they start organizing in Shanghai or Guangzhou. As it stands they are happy to drive business overseas and siphon off residual money and power as it goes.

  56. wdalasio

    no anti-union propaganda

    Pro-union propaganda, on the other hand, is just people exercising their First Amendment rights.