Saturday Morning Voice of Spring Links

by | Mar 13, 2021 | Daily Links | 188 comments

March showers, the beginnings of heat, weeds in our yard growing luxuriously, it is indeed spring. And spring has a voice, not just the “boinnnnggggg!” sound effect. Wonder Dog has a new crop of rabbits to bark at (she’s gotten too old to give them a real chase), the roadrunners are getting active on the top of our wall, and the golfers on the course behind our house are wearing shorts. Well, with $2800 of euchred money about to drop into our account, we should be able to keep the house cool for maybe 3 months.

Birthdays today include a guy who was a man, a plan, a…; a guy with a magnetic personality; religious/cult leader to the stars; a corrupt piece of shit who managed to miss the largest global political shift of the 20th century; the Ironsides of TV punditry; a damn fine actor who dodged a bullet and had his wife imprisoned; a very underrated comedienne; and a hack politician who couldn’t even beat the most disliked woman in politics.

 

I am SHOCKED that ex-bureaucrats cash in on the grifts they set up. Shocked. 

 

I have an alibi.

 

Too local- or is it?

 

Judge calls bullshit. Narrative most affected.

 

“If you want to live in a fascist city, you do you.”

 

Y’all are gettin’ sleepy. Y’all can only hear the sound of my voice.

 

Shit that didn’t happen for $200, Alex.

 

I’m not sure what a Kava is, but I’m willing to try one.

 

I’ll bet you thought that if I used Frühlingsstimmen as Old Guy Music, I would use the Christine McIntyre version. But surprise, surprise! Gloria Jean.

About The Author

Old Man With Candy

Old Man With Candy

Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me. Wait, wrong book, I'll find something else.

188 Comments

  1. Cy Esquire

    “Widespread criticism of the Capitol riots have pointed out both comments and symbols of racist and antisemitic messaging since the event took place. One Israeli journalist reporting live from the riots was harassed by a protester who kept asking him what a “goy” is and asking him why Israel “continues to take American aid.”
    He then called the reporter a “yid,” an antisemitic slur for a Jewish person.
    Another protester was photographed wearing a “Camp Auschwitz” T-shirt that said “staff” on the back.”

    There are shitty people in the world. We already knew this.

    • Old Man With Candy

      Of course supporting the most pro-Israel president in my lifetime is a sure sign of antisemitism.

      • Cy Esquire

        Should we take every word sputtered out of the Black Hebrew Israelites as the mouth of the Democratic party? I’ll meet them in the middle, only half the shit they spew? Yet, they show up every time someone holds a Democrat rally.

        This extra double quadruple standard bullshit has to stop. I don’t know how to fix it, but conservatives are getting crushed in the culture war because of it.

      • Festus

        Most of us just need to keep our heads low. Where I work the Union board is full of “woke”. Who knows whom actually believes that bullshit but who’s gonna take take the chance? I like having nice things and if my political inclinations were ever leaked, I might lose them. I only cower because I fucked up and didn’t earn enough “fuck you” money when younger. Now I cower in place, dart out to bite the dinosaur’s ankle when given the chance and then scamper back to my hidey-hole. They can break me physically and financially but they’ll never take my “FWEEDOM”!

      • Let's throw Plastic at People

        Free to be homeless, in the street if they find you out, stay down, don’t be Bob….

      • Chafed

        The group is full of mixed messages. I agree with your assessment of Trump. The Camp Auschwitz shirt is antisemitic.

    • kbolino

      The rehabilitation of communism continues apace. They can always find a swastika or some edgy Nazi meme at any event they don’t like, but curiously their cameras never seem to pick up the hammer and sickle flags or “liberals get the bullet too” shirts at other events.

  2. Trigger Hippie

    ‘Birx this week also joined the George W. Bush Institute — where she’ll work to address health disparities exacerbated by the pandemic —

    Birx spent years working in various parts of the federal public health bureaucracy, including as ambassador-at-large and global AIDS coordinator during the Obama administration.’

    “Dole Office Clerk – Oh, a *bullshit* artist! Comicus – Hmmmmmm… Dole Office Clerk – Did you bullshit last week? Comicus – No. Dole Office Clerk – Did you try to bullshit last week? Comicus – Yes!”

    • rhywun

      Narrator: Nothing she does will address health disparities caused by cumulative actions of the Democratic Party over the last half century.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Busy Work

    • Festus

      Ya gotta stop that, Bob. Nobody will know that it’s you.

      • Let's throw Plastic at People

        You did, Sup Brotha?
        it’s Rasta time!

    • Nephilium

      It’s a bit too early for the best one…

      First of May (Lyrics NSFW)

      • Festus

        Nothing like seeing springtime clouds rush across the sky whilst being ridden like a horse, bum in the dirt, penis magnificent! Good tune, friend of mine.

      • Gender Traitor

        Love the animation! I gather the last few plugged into the table over the last few notes ARE, in fact, ones discovered since the song was written?

  3. The Late P Brooks

    “No matter what happens then, we will continue to be guided by doctors and data. Masking works,” he tweeted.

    “Masking works,” he claimed, without evidence.

  4. The Other Kevin

    So wait, the Oath Keeper guy didn’t break any laws and there’s no evidence he planned on breaking any laws, but he was still charged? Because of course he was.

    • Cy Esquire

      The judge also heavily restricted his 1st amendment while he was ‘free.’

      • rhywun

        To anyone listening in, I have nothing but kind thoughts for the good judge.

      • Festus

        My kinda-sorta thoughts are equally benevolent.

      • gbob

        Me too. On an unrelated note, I also have some kind thoughts about woodchippers.

      • Surly Knott

        I do too. I worry they’re not being fed enough protein.

  5. The Late P Brooks

    So wait, the Oath Keeper guy didn’t break any laws and there’s no evidence he planned on breaking any laws, but he was still charged? Because of course he was.

    Charged, and imprisoned.
    The government merely wants to use him as an example, in order to discourage any other uppity peasants who might get it into their heads to do something stupid. That’s how DEMOCRACY! works.

    • The Other Kevin

      We talked about “the narrative “ this week, and I like to think I’m self-aware enough to know that everyone has their own narrative, their own lens through which they see the world. I have my own biases. But I can’t see this any other way than there being two justice systems, one for the people with the “right” thoughts and one for the people with the “wrong” thoughts.

  6. The Late P Brooks

    For her new role at the George W. Bush Institute, in addition to her pandemic-related work, she will use her global health expertise to support its broader portfolio. The organization is housed within the former president’s library and works on a range of economic and health issues.

    Panhandler. She’ll be good at it.

    • Let's throw Plastic at People

      It worked for Biden, Jill that is…. Joe did all the panhandling, Jill wins the Prize,

      • Festus

        Jill was the drunken truck driver. She also ran Lady Di and Dodi Fayed into the pillar. It all makes sense now if you really think about it…

      • Let's throw Plastic at People

        And Lou Reed? OMG!!!!!

      • l0b0t

        She has been playing a very long game. She crashed the Boiler Girls reunion in July ’69 and handed Ted that last highball; whispering with a silky voice “That Mary-Jo is hot for you MISTER PRESIDENT.”

      • Tres Cool

        Relevant from an old National Lampoon-

        Sirs:

        What was it you were looking for upon that fateful night ? They say they found my high school ring clutched in your fingers tight ?

        Edward Kennedy
        Hyannis, Mass.

  7. Festus

    Saving all the tasty links for later today, an actual day off but will say random stupid shit for the next two hours. So, Saturday.

    • Let's throw Plastic at People

      I’m out in an hour or so, time to play the Labyrinth, a good day ahead indeed,

      • Cy Esquire

        New game?

      • Let's throw Plastic at People

        No, a great course in Scottville, finally clear of snow/shitty crap, MI is a Disc Golf Mecca, it’s going to be a great year while the money lasts,

      • Cy Esquire

        That sounds like a really good time. I’ll be cheering you on from my own personal little hell that is work!

      • Let's throw Plastic at People

        Did My Hell, clocking 9 miles a day walking……

      • Festus

        Have fun! I need a release but solo golfing is the equivalent of Arrested Development’s “sad-walk”. It’s even worse when they include you in a threesome of strangers.

      • Let's throw Plastic at People

        not with disc, solo is practice, if you meet others, we are happy to hang out and play together, we are Few,
        and hard to find. Bumper stickers ant Logo T shirts are your friend

      • Cy Esquire

        “It’s even worse when they include you in a threesome of strangers.”

        That sounds like a great time! Strangers are the best. A whole human being I know nothing about with a lifetimes worth of experiences that I will most likely never meet again?

      • Let's throw Plastic at People

        in my case, a lot of Disc tourists from around the country, really fun, We are cool people, always,

      • Festus

        It really depends on the course. The high-end ones are much different than an executive par three, at least in my experience. Most people are pretty cool but there are times when you know you are harshing the group’s buzz. It’s just so goddamned needy. I haven’t golfed for years even though I love it. I’m a sensitive little snowflake, admittedly.

      • Let's throw Plastic at People

        I play Disc golf, totally different type of people than Ball golf, half the reason I play is the Peeps I meet and play with,
        like random sex,

      • Festus

        I see where you’re going with that but personally, unless I’m three beers in I have no interest in outlanders. Get me ten beers in and you can camp in my yard. It’s a weird dichotomy that my kids haven’t quite figured out. I don’t do family gatherings but don’t mind hosting events whilst shit-faced. I like to keep my options open because I might start having a mini-panic attack. I need that fire exit. Sorry, too much share.

  8. rhywun

    Judge Amit Mehta criticized Caldwell’s “fanciful” beliefs that the 2020 election should be overturned, and slammed the Oath Keepers for preparing for possible violence. But he also noted Caldwell’s poor health and said there were shortcomings in the evidence against him.

    How considerate of the good judge to finally get to the point after interjecting his irrelevant political opinions first.

    • Cy Esquire

      “Impartial!” It’d be fun to see if the defense attorney attempted to get the case dismissed account of clear bias.

  9. rhywun

    “I was like, July 2020 called and it wants its posts back. I thought we were beyond this fight over masks,” she said.

    OBEY

    • Festus

      I want to talk to people and read their facial expressions again. This is intolerable and I’m sick of it plus I’m actually getting pimples like a teenager. Fuck these mandates!

      • Let's throw Plastic at People

        Agreed, all those women at work, and I only know them from their asses, I need a Face! Dammit!

  10. The Late P Brooks

    But I can’t see this any other way than there being two justice systems, one for the people with the “right” thoughts and one for the people with the “wrong” thoughts.

    The FBI has scrutinized hundreds of miles of video recordings connected to the Capitol tailgate party riot, desperately trying to put names and addresses to faces in the crowd. They have charged something like 400 people, I believe.

    Compare and contrast that to Portland and Minneapolis, where catch and release was the stated policy.

  11. Flawgic

    Poor Percival Lowell. He lost the canals and he lost Pluto. Maybe it’s because he’s the doppelganger of sad-sack Matt Walsh.

    • Let's throw Plastic at People

      Fuck Off Tulpa!

      • Festus

        Indubitably!

    • Cy Esquire

      Well that was random.

      • Let's throw Plastic at People

        Random people do random shit, this is known…

      • Sean

        Do you have a relative named “Let’s throw lead at people”?

      • Let's throw Plastic at People

        I am that relative, my extended family all have had many boating accidents,

      • Let's throw Plastic at People

        Now that I think about it for a moment, it sounds like Brochetta in drag…..

      • Cy Esquire

        That’s a pretty classy handle and avatar. I wonder if it wears masks and works from home.

      • Let's throw Plastic at People

        God, from South Park, some courses are on public parks, and a disc hitting you at 60 MPH isn’t pretty, I know, knocked my ass down,
        thanks Casey!

  12. Sean

    *checks links*

    Everything is still stupid.

    • Mad Scientist

      Everything will still be stupid for at least the rest of our lives.

      • Cy Esquire

        or the rest of theirs… we’ll see.

  13. Sean

    Happy St. Patrick’s week! *

    Wait, when did we turn it into a week?

    *As seen on local news.

    • Let's throw Plastic at People

      Mick Appreciation Week?
      /Ducks beer bottles….

    • Cy Esquire

      “Wait, when did we turn it into a week?”

      When we learned that maybe it’s not such a great idea to go through the whole bottle of Jameson in a few hours.

      • slumbrew

        I should write that down.

    • Nephilium

      In keeping with the Catholic faith, it’s always been referred to as a Trinity of holidays here.

      St. Practice day
      St. Patrick’s day
      St. Recovery day

      • Festus

        “Doctor Bonnie” is shutting down all liquor sales on St Paddy’s Day at 8 pm… For your health and spiritual well-being. Buy more on the 16th, I suppose. Good Lord she is insufferable. She’s that HR lady writ large.

      • Nephilium

        The breathless pieces about people not taking the social distancing orders super cereal are already being written and published. Motherfuckers, you took this away from us last year. Hopefully people remember that it’s been a hell of a lot longer then two weeks.

        I’m very thankful that about the places that have announced their going to do temperature checks on patrons… I’ve got a list of places to avoid the rest of the year as well.

    • Not Adahn

      Because there’s not enough time in a day to eat enough corned beef. Seriously, it’s the best week of the year. At the diner this morning I ad a “St. Patrick’s Benedict,” which is like Eggs Benedict but instead of English muffin you use fried potatoes and instead of ham you use corned beef.

      I’m going back tomorrow. Dunno if I’ll get the Corned beef and Kerrygold omelet, or the classic eggs, corned beef and latkes.

      • Festus

        Those sound tasty as hell.

      • Not Adahn

        I’ll take a picture of the menu to make everyone jelly.

    • Mad Scientist

      DPW officials said the tree that fell was on private property and did not hang over the road.

      Someone is about to be sued.

    • DrOtto

      I had a neighbor who had a Live Oak limb break and hit his car as he was driving down the road. He said he heard something crack and saw it start to fall, so he spead up. It crushed a major portion of the back right of his car, which was a really nice Challenger.

  14. Surly Knott

    Posted on the book of faces, by a friend in Hawaii:
    .
    The U of H research station in Kainaliu is planning to remove their Lychee germplasm repository – about an acre of 70 year old heirloom varieties, including yellow and purple Lychee – so that they can put in solar panels. About 10 people showed up to air layer as many branches of each variety so that they can be replanted elsewhere. I found it hard to believe that these giant trees were going to be cut down and their stumps bulldozed away.
    .

    • Cy Esquire

      That seems pretty dumb. There are plenty of places to put something like that up without cutting down a bunch of Lychees.

      • The Hyperbole

        Meh, fuck those trees.

      • Festus

        This is why I love you, Hype.

    • Count Potato

      Sad.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    “There is an absence of direct evidence of planning by Mr. Caldwell to enter the Capitol building,” Mehta said. “There are no text messages, communications by him, that speak to entering a building or trying to enter the building. And ultimately, he did not enter the building.”

    What further proof do you need? The man is guilty. He is a menace to society.

    • Sean

      Off to the Vorkuta gulag!

    • Mad Scientist

      “We do not have, at this point, someone explicitly saying, ‘Our plan is to storm the Capitol to stop certification,’ ” prosecutor Kathryn Rakoczy said.

      But it’s still an insurrection! Pinky swear!

      • Cy Esquire

        But Judge, CNN told us it was insurrection. You and I both watch Don Lemon say it!

      • Chafed

        That’s prosecution speak for my case is falling apart.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    Scientist-

    I saw your reply about the apartment and big shop, the other day.

    Does it come with a race track?

    • Mad Scientist

      I wish!

    • Sean

      Why is his zipper down?

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      So I guess we’re done with #metoo now? Funny how that boomeranged on the Dems.

    • rhywun

      I want this dragged through the whole process-as-punishment, where it may occur to someone to ding him on his myriad known crimes. So, no, he should not resign. That would just let him off the hook for a decade-plus of corruption and let him land a cushy job at CNN where he can form a comedy duo with his idiot brother and rake in more millions.

    • Agent Cooper

      Governors shouldn’t have mansions #Changemymind

      • DrOtto

        They’re selfless civil servants, we should indulge them this one luxury, no?

  17. Count Potato

    “A New York woman has pleaded guilty to hiring a hitman in Ecuador to kill her ex-husband’s mother and his five-year-old daughter, in the hope that he would then spend more time with her.

    Elsy Rodriguez-Garcia, 27, from Huntington Station on Long Island, admitted arranging the hit on Thursday.

    As part of the deal, she pleaded guilty to conspiracy in the second degree, a class B felony, and will be sentenced to between two and six years in prison on April 15.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9357335/Scorned-New-York-wife-pleads-guilty-hiring-hitman-murder-exs-mother-daughter.html

    • Trigger Hippie

      Blonde girl smokes a joint on a balcony in a Miami hotel.

      Such a thing has never occurred in history, like never-ever.

      • rhywun

        Will the Trump horrors never end?!

      • Not Adahn

        Remember when the Bush twins were the first underage coeds in history to try and buy margaritas?

    • Sean

      Thicc?

      • Tres Cool

        Would but with predjudice.
        Those teeth are off-putting.

      • DrOtto

        And potentially dangerous.

      • DrOtto

        If this pic came from Hunter’s laptop, it shouldn’t be believed.

      • Festus

        Poor Tiff! Too fat to catch Daddy’s eye.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    Survey shows Americans unable to understand the difference between correlation and causation

    With final passage and signing of the American Rescue Plan this week — the sweeping $1.9 trillion package that has a remarkable level of public approval — Biden is riding a wave of public support specifically based on his response to the COVID-19 crisis. From ABC News: “More than two-thirds of Americans (68 percent) approve of Biden’s approach to the pandemic — a consistent result since he took office in January. At a moment of deep political polarization, his steady approval is also reinforced by positive marks from 35 percent of Republicans, 67 percent of independents and an overwhelming 98 percent of Democrats in the poll.”

    Similarly, for the first time in Gallup’s tracking of the COVID-19 pandemic, 60 percent of Americans believe the coronavirus situation is getting better — a record-high level of positive sentiment, which “likely reflects the steep decline in new COVID-19 cases in the U.S. in late January and early February.”

    The Biden administration’s markedly different approach from its predecessor’s regarding managing the crisis — namely putting the president front and center with regard to vaccine announcements, distribution and supply chain management — has clearly been a winning strategy. In the past few weeks, a handful of governors have announced both the ending of mask mandates and the reopening of various business in contrast to the guidance from the CDC and Biden’s framing of the mask issue as our collective “civic responsibility.” Public sentiment is strongly behind Biden’s leadership on these issues as well: “More Americans think loosening mask mandates and restrictions on public gatherings is happening too quickly, 56 percent and 50 percent respectively, compared to only about 1 in 4 who believe it’s happening too slowly, 22 percent and 26 percent respectively,” according to ABC.

    Yup- morons.

    Keep licking Biden’s ass, the Hill. I bet it tastes just like strawberry ice cream.

    • rhywun

      Turns out Americans actually like competent government

      LOL!

    • Cy Esquire

      Tasty Num-Nums.

    • kbolino

      The level of blue-pilling in that is off the charts.

    • Brochettaward

      What it actually shows is how successful the dem-op media was at pinning covid on Trump.

  19. Semi-Spartan Dad

    The FBI has started targeting Oath Keepers. Here’s an article about another one. It’s the Gateway Pundit, but it’s primary sourced and what other media source is going to run this stuff?

    https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2021/03/shock-report-fbi-sends-military-vehicle-turret-2-vans-6-fbi-vehicles-3-local-police-vehicles-arrest-young-father-attended-jan-6-rally-unbelievable-interview/

    [Testimony from the wife] Bail WAS recommended by the probation office & we were told prosecution would not argue against bail. But, somehow at the last minute prosecution decided to argue against it. My husband was in D.C. that day providing security detail for speakers of the rally that morning. FBI said under oath they do not believe my husband was part of any violence and they have NO proof that he was involved in violence. The main topic of their testimony was the Oath Keepers logo on his hat, the organization who asked him to provide security to the speakers that day.

    They called our office line pretending to be a customer needing pressure washing to draw him from the house. They arrested him away from the house but then showed up at our home with SWAT and a tank rolled up to my front door. My 3-year-old and I were drawn outside so they could clear the house and raid it. We had to sit outside for almost 8 hours in the public eye while they tore our house apart and broke a light fixture. The only items they confiscated were oath keepers t-shirts, stickers and pamphlets and a can of some type of pepper spray.

    The purge of the military and law enforcement continues. Sounds like we’re moving into the Stasi phase.

    • rhywun

      Sounds like something an Oath Keeper might say.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        I self identify as a Misanthrope.

      • Festus

        Friend?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Probably best if I don’t comment on this one beyond saying I won’t comment on this one. Not good…

    • EvilSheldon

      This is probably not going to have the effect that the progressive class thinks it will.

      • kbolino

        They talk about applying counterinsurgency strategy but they are doing the exact opposite of what was found to work. One might say they haven’t read their own books but even that would be giving them too much credit; all those books are ghostwritten anyway.

        Much has been written and said about the Peter Principle and related ideas (e.g., the Dilbert Principle, Putt’s Law, etc.) but I don’t think much thought was given at the time to how this process would work when iterated too many times. Our top-heavy institutions are entirely led by incompetents who rose through the ranks because of their incompetence. Since nothing is truly new in the world, this reminds me of various ancient (and not so) systems of inheritance which led to perverse incentives when either the underlying assumptions changed over time, or the marginal negative effects at each iteration eventually accumulated into something very deleterious, or both. Kicking someone upstairs so they can’t do any more direct harm only works until the top floors are entirely filled with such people and they realize that they have all the real power.

      • Festus

        The “Peter Principle” applies to me. Every job that I’ve ever had, I get shunted up even if I’m not ready for the next step. It must be nice to sort widgets and be left the fuck alone. Each time I get promoted, I lose my job. Born mopper, I’d suppose.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    Defend the narrative

    Sen. Ron Johnson, R-Wisc., described the pro-Trump rioters who stormed the Capitol on Jan. 6 as people who “truly respect law enforcement” and “loved this country” in a radio interview Friday and expressed worry if the mob had been Black Lives Matter protesters or Antifa members.

    Johnson said he “never felt threatened” as thousands of rioters broke through barricades, forcing Congress to evacuate parts of the building and abruptly pause a ceremonial event affirming that President-elect Joe Biden won the November election. In one dramatic moment, police officers drew guns as rioters tried to break into the House chamber. The day left several dead, including a police officer, and more than 100 other officers injured.

    It is my understanding that thousands of people, all across America, died that day. What about them?

    • Festus

      Her name was Ashli.

      • rhywun

        Did she have bitch tits?

        *goes to corner in shame*

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Yes dead…of a stroke…later that day while doing paperwork…that was probably unrelated…but they won’t comment in depth on the investigation into his death or the cause of death…but whatever…

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      Oh, now it’s several dead.

      • rhywun

        Trump caused several heart attacks in addition to the stroke and commanding that officer to shoot the unarmed lady, IIRC.

      • Nephilium

        Truthchecking:

        In all images of the woman who passed, she had two full arms. Therefore, we rate the statement of an unarmed lady being shot as four pinocchios.

  21. Stinky Wizzleteats

    U.S. military starts war with Tucker Carlson, loses:

    https://dailycaller.com/2021/03/12/tucker-carlson-woke-generals-pentagon-joe-biden/

    “And for a minute, we’ll concede we were almost rattled, Then we realized, if the woke generals treat us like they’ve treated the Taliban, we’ll be fine.”
    Heh…there are some good quotes in there. The day the military is seen as illegitimate by righties will be a good day and I think we’re getting there.

    • Sean

      It won’t be so funny when a squad of pregnant trannies storm your studio, Tucker!

      Oh wait, maybe it will…

      • Festus

        Stelter clones. REVENGE!

    • Festus

      Tucker is mostly right about everything except his hard-on for the drug war.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        The drug war and some aspects of economics but nobody’s perfect.

      • Festus

        Yeah, he’s a Neo-Whatever but a free speech absolutist so I chalk him into the good-guy side of the ledger. I’m not totally on board with everything he says but he’s not afraid to stick his finger in their collective eye.

      • rhywun

        I could do without his mini-obsession with UFO’s.

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      I read something similar yesterday. It was unintentionally hilarious.

      https://www.wsj.com/articles/pentagon-brass-blast-fox-host-for-disparaging-women-in-the-military-11615510722

      “I just think it’s insulting to those women to have a comment like that,” Army chief of staff Gen. James McConville told reporters Thursday.

      The general, whose daughter is a captain and social worker in the Army and whose wife also served, said he was proud of the 185,000 women who serve in the Army.

      Do all women social workers in the army now have the rank of captain or just ones who’s daddies are generals? Everything about this is beyond absurd.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        What a contrived distortion too, he was disparaging the idea that pregnant women who require a paternity suit should be serving in combat (they shouldn’t). If his assumptions were unfounded they should issue a statement of clarification and nothing more but the brass are just as woke and just as stupid as corporate boards are nowadays and they just couldn’t resist being catty.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Maternity suit I meant…

      • rhywun

        they should issue a statement of clarification

        Biden’s the one who brought up the maternity flight suits. I’d like to see the generals try to walk that one back.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Well there are a stack of non-doctor medical officer jobs – normally comparably small branches (medical service) and nearly all officers – industrial hygiene is a big deal in the navy for obvious reasons.

      • Grumbletarian

        Do all women social workers in the army now have the rank of captain or just ones who’s daddies are generals? Everything about this is beyond absurd.

        Somewhat appropriate.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JpgPD5M9AJs

    • rhywun

      Can you imagine if this happened under Trump and to some flunkie like Don Lemon? The elites would be screeching about Donald’s stormtroopers waging war against innocent journos just speaking truth to power™.

  22. Festus

    Holy shit! It’s actually getting light outside! *waits a week* Sad trombone.

    • Not Adahn

      Yup. The worst part of DST is that it doubles the number of times I have to drive directly into the sun.

      • Sean

        That’s a long commute. ?

      • Nephilium

        No. The worst part was the constant changing of the start dates, and dealing with old phone systems that had DST hard coded to the system that had been in place for decades.

        At least with modern systems, it’s a lot less painless (although the falling back an hour leads to some fun conversations about reports for 24 hour call centers).

      • Surly Knott

        “Less painless” is the standard approach after all. 😉

  23. Not Adahn

    The Texas Rangers are arguably the most famous law enforcement unit in the country — America’s ur-cops, whose rugged brand of frontier justice is as much the stuff of Hollywood myth-making as it is actual, unsurprisingly problematic history.

    As it happens, that history — one rife with racist violence and founded as part of nation’s broader tradition of colonial genocide

    I have now completely lost interest in learning about the hypnosis.

  24. Hyperion

    “I am SHOCKED that ex-bureaucrats cash in on the grifts they set up. Shocked.”

    Ugh, Birkenscarfenstein? *barf*

  25. Hyperion

    “Holmes, whose company had purported to have revolutionized blood testing and was once valued at $9 billion”

    Anyone who even tries what she tried, regardless of guilt or total innocence will wind up in the same situation as her. Too much money in that and it’s a guarantee the drug mafia… I mean the FDA will come for you.

  26. Hyperion

    “A federal judge ordered one of the alleged Oath Keepers charged in the Capitol riot to be released on Friday, and questioned the strength of the conspiracy case against him.”

    Now we know who Garland will go after first.

  27. Hyperion

    “Shit that didn’t happen for $200, Alex”

    Poor Schmucky, he’s the ceepiest guy I didn’t ever feel sorry for.

  28. Hyperion

    “I’m not sure what a Kava is, but I’m willing to try one.”

    LOL, jokes on you bud. It’s a foul concoction that tastes like a cross between moldy dirt and dirty socks, only 100 times worse.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      It does give you a nice mild buzz though although it’ll wreck your liver.

      • Hyperion

        It will wreck your taste buds and make you sick before it does that. Not worth the buzz, at all. I’ll stick with beer.

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        My mom’s caregiver imports it from Tonga by the container.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Get used to it, it’s going to end up being a permanent contingent at least during the Biden/Harris years.

      • DrOtto

        At least through the end of the Chauvin trial peaceful protests.

    • Agent Cooper

      Do not read the replies.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    Get used to it, it’s going to end up being a permanent contingent at least during the Biden/Harris years.

    Our very own Green Zone.

    Monument to DEMOCRACY!

  30. Tundra

    Good morning, peeps!

    Thanks for the lynx, Old Man. The weather there sounds nice and I’m glad the pup has some new entertainment.

    Here’s a nifty little essay I came across this morning:

    What is an Anti-Vaxxer?

    I like skeptics and assholes who won’t tow the lion.

    Like You People!

    Enjoy your day and remember – get them before they get you!

    • Hyperion

      The original anti-vax crowd were mostly leftists. Now it’s on both sides, mostly thanks to the assholes in government pushing this shit as a crisis for political gain.

      • Cy Esquire

        I find it hilarious that they openly admit the vaccines mostly don’t work and aren’t FDA approved… but then one sentence later it’s “Who wouldn’t want to get vaccinated?.” A paragraph later it’s “What’s wrong with you idiots? Don’t you believe in science?” All from the same group that told us Trump was full of shit for 4 months about creating a vaccine and then for another 4 months after that Trump’s vaccine is dangerous, then it was Trump screwed up delivery of the vaccine and now it’s, Biden’s vaccine and why haven’t you shoved it into your arm yet you hick? Don’t you want to come off lockdowns sooner or are you dead set on killing grandma?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Does anti gene therapy pushed out in a seriously expedited fashion by a politicized health industry with dubious long term effectiveness or measurement of potential hidden side-effects vaccine count? I’ll wait for the Novavax.

      • Hyperion

        My wife is going to take hers tomorrow. I ain’t going near that shit, I’m not their lab rat.

    • westernsloper

      ‘And vhy, Dr Kendrick do you find it necessary to point out such matters. Have no doubt my friend that ve shall be vatching you very closely in future.’ I think I am channelling Raiders of the Lost Ark here./blockquote>

      Nice.

      • westernsloper

        oops.

  31. l0b0t

    Just started watching Hard Knuckle, a post-apocalyptic wasteland warrior type film, but it’s about snooker. It stars Steve Bisley, Goose from Mad Max, it was made for TV, and it is fabulously terrible in the way ’80s films can be.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Terrible ‘80s movies are the best but I prefer exposing myself to them through the lens of Red Letter Media now.

  32. Festus

    Hittin the hay, Friends. Hope that I didn’t humiliate myself again. See you on the morrow! Maybe a zoom flash? We shall see.

  33. westernsloper

    While on my obligatory drive to town to get what I forgot yesterday for weekend cooking, I saw my chili dealer turned his fields yesterday. Spring is here bitches! And it is going to snow today and tomorrow. *grumbles off to start day drinking*

    • Cy Esquire

      Sounds rough. I need to start researching when we’re supposed to plant the vegetable garden. It’s going to be a lot of work and I haven’t done one since I was a kid, but I can’t wait to try some cherry tomatoes off the vine.

      • Count Potato

        It mostly depends on where you are.

      • westernsloper

        I am going container gardening as I did last year. Hopefully I have better results. I can barely grow my fingernails much less an actual vegetable/fruit.

      • Hyperion

        I’ve been all container for a while now because I have no yard. Next year, hopefully, but I’m going to get a late start because I’m going to move. I want a greenhouse and lights.

  34. robc

    Blackberry Farms is giving Jolly Pumpkin a run for poorly named breweries.

    • Nephilium

      I take it they don’t even make a blackberry wheat?

    • Suthenboy

      Yeah, the construction is the easy part. Finding the wood, not so much.
      Lumber store wood is relatively fresh and exudes fumes from sap. Bees wont live in that. If you build one out of fresh lumber you have to leave it out in the sun, wind and rain for at least one year before you can put bees in it.
      Best option: find someone tearing down an old shed or barn and buy the wood from them.

  35. DEG

    Deborah Birx, the former Trump White House coronavirus response coordinator, is taking a new role as chief medical and scientific adviser for an air filtration company focused on reducing Covid-19 infections.

    Birx this week also joined the George W. Bush Institute — where she’ll work to address health disparities exacerbated by the pandemic — and the board of a Bay Area investment firm.

    Nice work if you can get it.

    The trial was initially set to begin last summer and has already been delayed several times due to the global pandemic. In September, a court document revealed that Holmes may seek a “mental disease” defense at trial.

    “Mental disease”. Proven via blood test?

    U.S. Rep. Ann Kirkpatrick, a five-term Arizona Democrat, announced Friday she won’t run for reelection in 2022.

    After reading the whole article, I say good riddance.

    “There is an absence of direct evidence of planning by Mr. Caldwell to enter the Capitol building,” Mehta said. “There are no text messages, communications by him, that speak to entering a building or trying to enter the building. And ultimately, he did not enter the building.”

    Judge Mehta getting cancelled for questioning the narrative?

    “No matter what happens then, we will continue to be guided by doctors and data. Masking works,” he tweeted.

    Fuck you.

    As it happens, that history — one rife with racist violence and founded as part of nation’s broader tradition of colonial genocide

    I tapped out here.

    During the incident, the senator reportedly heard one rioter yell, “Where’s the big Jew?” according to a report by The New York Times.

    Prediction: This claim is bullshit.

    Earlier this week the company page posted this: “Effective immediately, any and all grade school teachers who, by choice, have opted not to return to in person teaching are hereby banned from any and all Kavasutra Kava Bar locations. Furthermore, masks may not be worn in Arizona or Florida locations. New York and Colorado are a bunch of p***y leftists so they can cover their mouths with a dirty cloth.”

    They went on to post another message that said in part: “Masks are for leftist losers. Teachers unions are trash.”

    I like these folks.

    • Hyperion

      “Where’s the big Jew?”

      The only thing big about him is his mouth and moobz.

      If the guy yelled ‘Where’s that schmuck with the moobz!?’, I might believe it.

    • Suthenboy

      How did the Caldwell character get caught up in this if he never entered the capital?

      The Texas Ranger article is just gibberish.

      Masks dont work.

      Schumer is one of the worst lying sacks of shit on the planet.

      • Hyperion

        “Schumer is one of the worst lying sacks of shit on the planet.”

        You sure got that right, bro. All of these Demosaurs are lying sacks of shit, Schumer, Pelosi, Waters, Feinstein, Hoyer, Durbin, Biden, all of them are the worst people on the planet.