About The Author

CPRM

CPRM

Organic troll farmer.

144 Comments

  1. Count Potato

    No Donald?

    • westernsloper

      He was golfing.

  2. db

    “we swear, there are some really big things coming, but we’ve been really busy”

    They’re great things, the best really?

  3. rhywun

    Meta! Love it.

    And I love the gilded cage.

    • db

      The hair is living in the Limelight?

    • Tonio

      The guilded cage pretty much makes the episode.

  4. DEG

    “All our fans”

    Hmm….

    “Does my ass look big?”

    I like this ending.

    • Plinker762

      Only fans?

  5. db

    From the earlier thread, I suspect the intended effect of the eviction ban is less to protect the little guy down on his luck due to COVID and the overreaction thereto, and more to force small landlords to get out of the business, and sell their properties to REITs and entrenched large scale corporate landlords that donate to the Democratic Party.

    • Chafed

      I’m sure it’s an “unintended” consequence.

      • db

        I have nearly nothing positive to say to this in response, so I’ll just not.

    • rhywun

      Americans are getting more and more rational

      Heh good one.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        no shit, hehe,

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      Funny that you posted this while I was writing a comment about self-destructing church denominations in the prior article. Western Christianity is coming apart at the seams.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        Clawing each other to death in the race to progressivism.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Imo, it’s chasing the seeker that’s killing many churches. Between a butts in seats metric mentality and a dumb it down so we don’t scare anybody new off preaching style, it’s no wonder that people are leaving in droves.

        Without writing an essay (and it’s not directed at you Muzzled), I’ll say that church is a community of people, not a building with a staff and some regular attendees. As true deeply connected community has died off in the west, so has the church. Community ain’t 5 people you see for 2 hours a week in a Bible study class and never during the weekdays. Community isn’t some knock off garage band concert followed by a half hour of platitudes each Sunday.

        *cuts rant short before the beer really gets me talking*

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Well said, Why I left my Church, long ago,

      • blackjack

        some knock off garage band concert

        Playing covers of Stairway to Heaven?

      • blackjack

        Harrison’s My Sweet Lord?

      • C. Anacreon

        You mean “He’s So Fine” by The Chiffons?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        There’s a Southern Baptist church locally that flies multiple rainbow flags.

        Ponder that one.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        I totally get Christians not judging people and condemning them. That’s not the job of humans to begin with.

        But celebrating that which is sin according to their rule book is madness. It’s just exactly how you make yourself irrelevant.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Whether it not I agree with the principles of a church, it’s difficult to find any appeal in the lack of intellectual consistency in a deistic system.

        You can’t actually read the Bible and make it conform to what they’re pushing now.

      • blackjack

        For God so loved his children, that he totally fucked with their heads (which he created, btw) and tried to trick them into eternal suffering, unless they pulled a jedi mind trick and bought some crazy line of belief and conformed to sometimes seriously strange edicts. I believe in God, just not what most people seem to add onto him. It’s clear to me that the universe must have been created by a power higher than myself, but I doubt he cares what kind of hat I have on or if I eat meat on Fridays or whatever.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        And that’s fine. But you’re not Baptist. Baptists take the Bible quite literally, or at least they used to.

        Like I said, whether or not I agree with their principles, I can’t find any sense in their current floundering about.

        I’ve got more respect for Unitarians. At least they attempt to rationalize their beliefs.

      • blackjack

        Yeah, I didn’t mean to come down on you. Just ranting my usual Bible rant. Sorry.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I can’t find any sense in their current floundering about.

        It’s their chickens coming home to roost. Spend 100 years courting 13 year old girls, and you end up with a church that thinks and acts like a bunch of 13 year old girls.

        I was struck by something last Sunday. In our current church’s kids area, there’s a poster that outlines the spiritual growth track to follow for kids. Conveniently, it ends at 7th grade. 13 years old. ?

        The most horribly sad thing is that there are great men and women of faith who do awesome things and have a depth of knowledge and rationality. In your average church, they’re either teaching a poorly attended Wednesday night Bible study or they’re staving off boredom while half-listening to the sermon they’ve heard 40 times already.

        *tries to suppress the rest of the rant*

      • Mojeaux

        13yo girls? ‘splain?

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        13yo girls? ‘splain?

        My old article on the topic covers it better than i could type up right now. Long story short, the second great awakening changed the church in ways that have finally caught up to it.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        You can’t actually read the Bible and make it conform to what they’re pushing now.

        But it’s a living document! And needs to conform to the way things are today! And it was written like 100 years ago in some foreign language by people who owned slaves!!

      • DEG

        Nice

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I don’t know what would be more cringeworthy, being that focused on gay rights or the “take back the rainbow” movement.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It’s the former.

        The pastor is a Central American prog who celebrates anything anti-Trump.

        I have no idea how he got his job or why.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      They just have a new church. It’s even more sanctimonious than the ones they left.

  6. LCDR_Fish

    A little more GKC.

    Now we, at any rate, are talking about an idea, a thing of the intellect and the soul; which we feel to be unalterable by legal antics. We are talking about the idea of loyalty; perhaps a fantastic, perhaps only an unfashionable idea, but one we can explain and defend as an idea. Now I have already pointed out that most sane men do admit our ideal in such a case as patriotism or public spirit; the necessity of saving the state to which we belong. The patriot may revile but must not renounce his country; he must curse it to cure it, but not to wither it up. The old pagan citizens felt thus about the city; and modern nationalists feel thus about the nation. But even mere modern internationalists feel it about something; if it is only the nation of mankind. Even the humanitarian does not become a misanthrope and live in a monkey-house. Even a disappointed Collectivist or Communist does not retire into the exclusive society of beavers, because beavers are all communists of the most class-conscious solidarity. He admits the necessity of clinging to his fellow creatures, and begging them to abandon the use of the possessive pronoun; heart-breaking as his efforts must seem to him after a time. Even a Pacifist does not prefer rats to men, on the ground that the rat community is so pure from the taint of Jingoism as always to leave the sinking ship. In short, everybody recognises that there is some ship, large and small, which he ought not to leave, even when he thinks it is sinking.

    Pessimism, which was never popular, is no longer even fashionable. A far different fate has awaited the other fashion; the other somewhat dismal form of freedom. If divorce is a disease, it is no longer to be a fashionable disease like appendicitis; it is to be made an epidemic like small-pox. As we have already seen, papers and public men to-day make a vast parade of the necessity of setting the poor man free to get a divorce. Now why are they so mortally anxious that he should be free to get a divorce, and not in the least anxious that he should be free to get anything else? Why are the same people happy, nay almost hilarious, when he gets a divorce, who are horrified when he gets a drink? What becomes of his money, what becomes of his children, where he works, when he ceases to work, are less and less under his personal control. Labour Exchanges, Insurance Cards, Welfare Work, and a hundred forms of police inspection and supervision, have combined for good or evil to fix him more and more strictly to a certain place in society. He is less and less allowed to go to look for a new job; why is he allowed to go to look for a new wife? He is more and more compelled to recognise a Moslem code about liquor; why is it made so easy for him to escape from his old Christian code about sex? What is the meaning of this mysterious immunity, this special permit for adultery; and why is running away with his neighbour’s wife to be the only exhilaration still left open to him? Why must he love as he pleases; when he may not even live as he pleases?

    excerpts from “The Superstition of Divorce”

  7. Scruffy Nerfherder

    I think the hair should be performing from inside the cage. Like a go-go dancer.

    And Donald could be throwing Diet Coke cans at him.

  8. Yusef drives a Kia

    Most Awesome! i Love your work!
    as my Cat lays on my mouse…

    • Tulip

      Aww, she’s still finding the best place

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Tty*******
        -ankee!, She’s big, Black and w,
        That was her on my keyboard, nice Cat,

      • blackjack

        They’re like personal electric blankets when it gets cold out.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        True, she’s XL

    • rhywun

      She’s big-boned.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        She needs a Diet,

    • DEG

      Awwww

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        i lost her yesterday, she opened the sink cupboard, and crashed out inside, then it’s like Hey, what’s up?
        /Cats

    • rhywun

      I guess a university professor slot wasn’t open. Isn’t that where cop-killers usually wind up?

      • Chafed

        That would explain some things.

    • blackjack

      They keep rubbing people’s noses in other people’s shit and eventually, they’re gonna get bit.

    • straffinrun

      Robbery went bad and the cop reached for his gun after identifying himself as a cop. The gun shoots him in the shoulder and then executes him. Dunno the details, but why does it matter that he was a “cop killer” and not just a “killer”? No murderers should be involved in police reform. I don’t hold cop killers and regular killers in two separate categories.

      • blackjack

        Mostly because he’s been put in charge of reforming the cops now. We know what he thought should happen to them back then, now is debatable.

      • straffinrun

        My point is that The NY Post has been pushing the narrative that cop killers are the worst killers out there. While it’s true he killed a cop ( so it’s technically true), let’s say he killed a welder. I’ve never seen a headline “Welder Killer”. I’m sick of the special class they put cops in.

      • blackjack

        And I get that. But, this time it seems to make a bit of sense. His objectivity is obviously suspect.

      • straffinrun

        Both sides are using this to push secondary agendas. I’d say the reformers are worse in this case. Just pointing out where The Post has also pushed the thin blue line narrative here, too.

      • blackjack

        99.9% of the time, yes. Just imagine if he’d have been appointed to regulate the welding trade. Having killed a welder and spent 39 years in prison for it, maybe he’s got a welder’s axe to grind?

      • straffinrun

        Again, I understand the obvious conflict of interest. The Post loves the headline “Cop Killer” and they’ve used that many times regardless if it there was a conflict of interest or not involved. Ultimately, it matters nothing that the guy was a cop killer or a regular killer in this case because the result should be the same; he’s not involved in the process. If The Post didn’t have its Blue Lives Matter vibe permeating its pages for decades, I wouldn’t care about this headline one bit.

      • Brochettaward

        Why can’t you just accept that a cops life matters more than yours?

      • blackjack

        It’s kinda similar to when they tell us what crime victim’s families want. Of course they want some heads to roll and all rights ended in every way that affected their loved one. That’s why we don’t allow them to be involved in the process. They are the antithesis of reasonable and rational. This guy is not likely to reform police in any way that makes us safer. His whole adult life sucked balls ( maybe literally?) because of interactions with cops and his evil nature. Not the best guy to make this choice.

      • straffinrun

        Agree with that. No awful killer should be involved and that’s why I think saying “Cop Killer” instead of just “Killer” is gratuitous. Given The Post’s history, I’m questioning why they are being gratuitous.

      • The Hyperbole

        Meh, dude did his time, 40 years. I certainly can’t judge the content of his character from a five paragraph article. Maybe he’s qualified to be on the police reform panel, it’s most likely a bullshit, feel-good, “let’s look like we’re doing something”, waste of time and resources anyway.

      • straffinrun

        You take a life the way this guy did and you should just be grateful that you weren’t executed, are freed ever and can live a quiet life that may benefit another human.

      • db

        Yeah, forget for a moment the profession of the victim, and recall that the person in question here committed not only a murder, but an execution, and that in the course of committing another crime, in the coldest of blood. Would you want this person on any kind of public commission? Then consider the details further.

        Imagine that this man had done 40 years in prison for executing a baker in cold blood while the baker was baking a cake, after spending years attempting to discredit the baking profession or stomping around trying to flatten cakes while they’re baking, and then was later appointed to an agency commissioned to regulate bakeries.

        I guess that’s a bit overcooked but I guess I had to fill in between the layers there.

      • The Hyperbole

        It’s a hard thing about being anti-death penalty, either lock them up for life or accept redemption at some point.

      • straffinrun

        That is a binary you are imposing.

      • The Hyperbole

        What, we’re doing nuance now?

        But yeah that’s a fair cop, I’m taking a complex issue and casting it in black and white, but so are those that claim to know this guys heart because he killed a cop 40 years ago. Sure of he’s been an unrepentant asshole all this time, fuck him, but (and at the risk of playing into the infantilization culture) he committed the killing at 16, I know I’m not the same man I was 40 years ago and am willing to give this guy the benefit of the doubt unless shown otherwise.

      • straffinrun

        Murder, especially the cold blooded type that one was (*if true, farts at disclaimer) is a unique form of crime. It ends everything for the other person. Don’t torture them, but it does deserve a lifetime of repentance and atonement at a minimum. I’m sure you’ve had people in your life that have done things that you will never forget, and while you may forgive them, you will always hold that in mind as you deal with them in the future. What makes murder unique is that the victim can’t judge the murderer and so we have to hold them to a standard that is unique in crime.

      • db

        There are other ways of dealing with murderers, would-be or successful. Outlawing used to be a thing, for one.

      • slumbrew

        My favorite semi-unexpected concert: Kool Keith opening for Ice-T at the Middle East Downstairs.

        My buddy really wanted to see Kool Keith (“Dr. Octagon”) who kinda sucked in a low-energy sort of way, but we stuck around for Ice-T. Holy shit, can that man put on a show! I knew far more songs than I would have thought.

    • Hank

      I see where some of these comments are coming from, but look at it from this perspective –

      Whoever appointed this fellow, putting someone who killed a policeman on a police-reform commission is not consistent with being a genuine reformer. It’s consistent with

      -being a revolutionary and not a reformer

      or

      -being neither a revolutionary nor a reformer, just a shit-stirrer who wants to bring out the vote without making positive changes to public policy

      In short, it doesn’t indicate a real willingness to give genuine reformers a break and work on actual, practical improvements.

  9. straffinrun

    No idea if this is punching up, down or inside, but it was weird enough to captivate.

    • Timeloose

      That kid would have been me. I used to hassle the local street department and insist that they honk at me every day.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Me too. Public works crew dug up a sidewalk with a jackhammer and 6 year old me thought it was awesome so just watched. Safety first, the guys handed me a pillow pack of what would be now earpro to protect my young ears. I left Cloud 9 and went to Cloud 10.

    • blackjack

      So very cool. Thanks!

    • R C Dean

      That’s awesome. The control to fill those toy trucks without spilling, just incredible.

      • slumbrew

        Agreed, just mastery in action. Many thousands of hours of experience. I love stuff like that.

      • slumbrew

        replying to myself:

        Who linked to this awesome video?

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Eo_GvDGP-g

        “The Worst Excavator Recovery Of My Career”

        I love watching expertise in action.

  10. Gustave Lytton

    Huzzah, a cartoon!

    Heck of a day. Wife called me midday to say there was no water. Come home to find pipe at the wellhead had rusted out and blew out, spraying the pumphouse insulation, before tripping the low pressure cutout. My regular well guy has apparently retired and the first three services were booked solid and couldn’t send anyone. Get it all replaced and repressurized to find every filter in the house has metal shavings clogging the inlets.

    • Brochettaward

      It’s clear God hates you.

      • Brochettaward

        You must not have Firsted enough.

    • db

      At least you had filters to protect the valves and other things. That’s good practice.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Not that on top of things. I wish I had a whole house filter. Just the inlet filters, really screens, on washing machine, faucet aerators, and so on. Oh, and taking apart the toilet fill valve. Sediment got stuck in between the seal so it was running very slooow and then wouldn’t shut off.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      Wife called me midday to say there was no water. Come home to find pipe at the wellhead had rusted out and blew out, spraying the pumphouse insulation, before tripping the low pressure cutout.

      I don’t understand this euphemism at all.

      • nw

        Just insist on the genetic test. As my grandma said, “you never really know who your father is”.

      • Tejicano

        This is one of the reasons why some Indian tribes trace lineage by the maternal side, not the paternal.

        “Mommy’s baby. Daddy? Maybe.”

      • straffinrun

        His wife has gone to the well one too many times? (Really, though, bummer. Gustave)

      • Gustave Lytton

        Something about flow coming to visit?

    • Urthona

      I know some of those words.

    • straffinrun

      Maybe I’ll stop by in a bit.

      • nw

        getting 503 on zoom, but link works for at least one stranger

        and, best stories ever

      • Brochettaward

        She’s a little fat for me.

      • Festus

        “Allo Frenchy!”

  11. Spudalicious

    “Watching girls in bikinis smoke meth.”

    Brilliant.

  12. hayeksplosives

    This is ME time!

    Lol.

    • Sean

      ⬆ ?

  13. slumbrew

    As I look at the credits – where’s Sir Digby been?

    • The Hyperbole

      He got religion.

      Or more accurately he decided to rededicate himself to his religion, and hanging out with all you assholes wasn’t helping.

      • slumbrew

        “What do _you_ mean ‘you people’?”

        (thanks for the update)

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      I still owe him (or CPRM, if he doesn’t want it) a DVD. I haven’t forgotten, just am perpetually Behind On Life.

      • Gender Traitor

        Good morning, TO’G! Just wanted to say the lovely compliment you paid me yesterday morning really made my day. I thought about it, and I think I try to follow these words of wisdom as handed down to us by that eminent philosopher, Bertie Wooster.

        Also, I try to confine my bitchiness to my private journal (or a very few trusted confidantes.)

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        “Hi de hi de ho, sir.” 😉

        Thanks, lass!

        I shouldn’t even be here today. /Dante

        Forums could use more love IMO. But if I’m here I probably shouldn’t be, and am procrastinating.

      • Gender Traitor

        For me, there’s so much activity here on the main site that if I followed the Forums, too, I’d never get anything done IRL.

      • UnCivilServant

        I can’t follow it all either. For the same reason. Then I’d get even less written.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Oops, I left out one “hi de”.

        Well, I think I should be there more and less here, but YMMV.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        (And I know the exact Clerks quote is “I’m not even supposed to be here today!”)

  14. Yusef drives a Kia

    Mornin’ Glibheads and Florida People, the Covfefe is fine and so are you,

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Why is no one shooting back? where are all the magic guns with the thing?

      • Sean

        Dunno. I don’t go there.

        Morning Yusef. ☕

      • Stillhunter

        Because every mall is a “gun free zone”.

    • rhywun

      This incident comes amid after a series of completely unrelated so why are we going on about this deadly shootings throughout the country.

      Never change, the media.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I know a chick like that, annoying as Fuck, they flip out easily,

    • Stillhunter

      My oldest son is like that when he’s lying. Laughs or smiles uncontrollably.

    • Gender Traitor

      It’s gonna be a looooooooong ~10 years with her. 🙁

      Good morning, gentlemen (giving benefit of not-inconsiderable doubt.)

    • Festus

      She doesn’t believe in herself.

      • Gender Traitor

        That makes it unanimous.

        Good morning, Fes!

      • Festus

        Mornin’ Red! When I get scared shitless, I laugh like a loon. It’s a quirk that a few people have.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        So not merely a trait of sociopaths. Hi, F!

      • Festus

        I’m too sensitive to be one. *runs upstairs and slams door*

  15. Tres Cool

    whaddup doh ? This what happens when I get day/night off.
    NGL..my niggas Im faded

    • Gender Traitor

      Mornin’, homey! Ready to get out and enjoy this lovely day?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Howdy, warm and very blustery down on the farm, you and Tres drink a Tall Can for me,

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        I owe you some media mail too; see above.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        ? You know how to look me up,

      • Gender Traitor

        Does a Tall Metal Travel Mug full of coffee count?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Sure, large coffee for me, Carpe Carpio!

      • Tres Cool

        Just like autumn, its that time when the furnace runs @ night, and the a/c comes on during the day

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, UCS! I finally sent you a reply around 11:30ish last night. Sorry it took me so long!

      • UnCivilServant

        Thanks. I’m still waking up, taking cardboard to the curb and checking work emails, so I’ll have to take a look.

        I also apparently didn’t reopen my email client last night.

  16. Festus

    Excellent work on the cartoon, old friend! Great call-backs!

    • Festus

      I Loled at the last part.