420 Comments

  1. AlexinCT

    Biden plans a $3,000,000,000,000 bill with the goal of quickly “re-engineering” the country.

    That’s one way to fundamentally transform America: bankrupt her.

    • Tres Cool

      I thought that was their plan all along.

      Sup’ fam ?

    • blackjack

      That’s a BIG fucking deal!

      • Festus

        Centralize power and strip the rights from the Citizenry. It’s right there in the Constitution and Bill of Rights, Bigot.

  2. Rebel Scum

    “There is no right to carry arms openly in public; nor is any such right within the scope of the Second Amendment,” the court ruled in an “en banc” decision that involved 11 of the panel’s judges.

    “We can find no general right to carry arms into the public square for self-defense,” the majority wrote, claiming that the Second Amendment applies to the “defense of hearth and home.”

    “The power of the government to regulate carrying arms in the public square does not infringe in any way on the right of an individual to defend his home or business,” the judges wrote.

    I must have missed the “hearth and home” provision in 2A.

    • Rebel Scum

      Gurbir Grewal, New Jersey’s attorney general, said he was proud to lead 10 states that filed a brief in the legal battle to support firearm safety laws.

      “Today the Ninth Circuit agreed that laws that limit carrying guns in public are constitutional,” he wrote on Twitter.

      Except it is at odds with prior scotus rulings and every mention regarding 2A in the Federalist Papers.

      • Chipwooder

        Never fails to make me snort with derisive laughter when gun control laws are termed “gun safety laws”. They forgot to call them “commonsense” this time, though.

      • Tres Cool

        Glad Im not the only one that read that the same way.

      • Shpip

        I’ve always preferred former Las Vegas Review-Journal editor Vin Suprynowicz’s term “victim disarmament laws.”

        Use that phrase with a prog and xhe’ll exclaim “No one is talking about disarming victims!”

        I tell them “Well, you’re not disarming criminals, and you’re not disarming the state, so that kinda narrows it down.”

      • Chipwooder

        Nice.

    • Swiss Servator

      Eliding the “bear” of keep and bear arms is ok, right?

      • WTF

        Exactly: Today the Ninth Circuit agreed that laws that limit carrying guns in public are constitutional

        So they basically ruled that the government prohibiting people from bearing arms somehow does not infringe upon the right to bear arms.
        These people are evil as well as mendacious.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        They’re Wilsonian anti-Constitutionalists forced to act like they don’t hate the Constitution in order to avoid tearing the mask completely off of their Fabian tactics.

    • CPRM

      We can find no general right to carry arms into the public

      …the right to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed?

      • Old Man With Candy

        …the right of the people to keep and bear arms.

        These are three key words. Not “the militia.” Not “the police.” “The people.”

      • CPRM

        The comma doesn’t mean what you think it means! You are functionally illiterate!

      • Rat on a train

        It is easy to not find what you don’t want to find.

    • Chafed

      There is a pretty good chance this will reach scotus. There are now 5 Justices that appear to take 2A seriously. Roberts can suck his thumb in the corner while they vote for cert and later write the opinion.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Chickenshit Johnny will be OK with the majority affirming gun rights as long as he doesn’t have to play the role of deciding vote.

      • DEG

        Roberts will vote with the majority to eviscerate the opinion.

      • leon

        Problem is i trust neither Kavenaugh or ACB or Roberts.

      • DEG

        Yeah.

        That too.

        Kavenaugh strikes me as a Roberts type.

  3. Shpip

    “Eighteen Times the FBI Was Warned About Violence and Failed to Prevent It”

    To be fair, there’s no budget increases in the FBI foiling an FBI plot, only in catching the perps.

    • Festus

      Sure. After the fact.

    • WTF

      Well, they were kind of busy trying to frame Orangemanbad and his associates.

  4. The Late P Brooks

    It’s like gender reassignment surgery for an entire nation. That ain’t cheap.

    • Festus

      “If you want keep your penis and testicles, you’ll get to keep your penis and testicles.”

      • Tres Cool

        $3T for deez……DEEZ NUTS!

    • Tonio

      That’s a stunningly good analogy, Brooks.

      • hayeksplosives

        Much brave, even.

  5. AlexinCT

    18 times the FBI was warned about violence and failed to prevent it.

    Were they told not to stop a potential crisis that could be used to further the usual anti-2A amendment’s agenda?

    People are not going to so easily be swayed by emotion if the FBI stops bad actors as they are if the bad actor does shit they can widely exaggerate.

    • Festus

      “Nobody mention Vegas”…

  6. Festus

    Don’t those jackasses remember the last time the Turtle warned them? He’s not much of what we like on many issues but he does know how to corral his horses.

    • Chafed

      Exactly this.

    • juris imprudent

      They keep thinking he’s joking. He isn’t a funny guy, at all.

      • leon

        They don’t call him Cocaine Turtle the Midnight Renegade because of his sense of humor.

  7. robc

    Baseball birthdays: HoFer Tom Glavine with over 80 WAR. In the 40s: Dutch Leonard, Frank Dwyer, Clyde Milan. 30s: Travis Fryman. 20s: Woodie Held. Teens: Hyun Jin Ryu, Lee Mazilli, and Dan Wilson.

    Ryu is active.

    • Festus

      Active and love yu long-time!

      • Tres Cool

        “Pitching Woo? Isnt he that Korean baseball player ?”

        /M*A*S*H

    • Gdragon

      I’m guessing by the WAR total that this is the second Dutch Leonard and not the dead-ball era lefty?

      • robc

        Correct, didnt even catch that. 1933-53 righty.

    • Agent Cooper

      Took in a Dodgers game a few years back on a work trip to LA. Ryu was on the hill, and the entirety of Koreatown was in the stands. It’s actually quite amazing to see. For a city with a large whatever population, having a prominent player from that ethnicity is a boon to ticket sales.

  8. The Late P Brooks

    What this country needs is predictive policing, on a grand scale. 150 million new prison cells is just a start. And then there is the Social Services budget to consider.

    Infrastructure! Stimulus

    • Nephilium

      Who would have guessed out of all the sci-fi authors, we would wind up living in PKD’s world?

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        With a dash of Huxley’s state encouraged hedonism and destroying the family.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        And more than a little of Orwell’s newspeak.

        It’s like a greatest hits album of the 20th century dystopian novelists.

      • robc

        I think PKD knew we would. Or already were.

      • robc

        Is it the one with the aliens that can take on perfect disguises but don’t understand size? So they keep trying to have agents on Earth that looking exactly like humans but are only 1 foot tall? And they cant figure out why it isn’t working?

        Its that world, isnt it?

      • Nephilium

        Well… we’ve got the miniature world escapism (Animal Crossing, Stardew Valley, and the like) mirroring Perky Pat; the pushing for pre-crime mirroring Minority Report (but AI replacing psychics); undercover police joining in the very activity they’re supposed to be stopping from A Scanner Darkly (alright, this one isn’t much of a stretch).

        I’m sure if I reread the collections and stories I could find more parallels, but I think I’ll pass on that in the current day.

  9. AlexinCT

    9th circuit court still crazy.

    Lucky for us the SCOTUS has not gone woke or been packed with woke fucks yet, and as always happens with the 9th, they will overturn their idiocy.

    • Sean

      You are more optimistic than I am these days.

    • Tonio

      I would hope so. And let’s pray for a ruling that is sweeping in nature, ie universal constitutional carry.

    • EvilSheldon

      The smart money says that the USSC denies cert on the appeal and continues their longstanding tradition of kicking the can down the road.

      I’m trying hard to manage my expectations.

      • leon

        That is important. The Supreme Court has seemed fine with allowing the lower courts to flaunt their precdent and not treat 2nd Amendment Cases with the higher level of Scrutiny they said it must be treated with.

      • WTF

        I agree. Although it was different makeup, SCOTUS previously let stand the same ruling from the 3rd circuit on New Jersey’s carry prohibition. They are very reluctant to overturn a states gun laws no matter how unconstitutional they are.

      • Rat on a train

        Kick the can until SCOTUS is fortified?

      • juris imprudent

        Not this time – there is now a circuit split, as 7th ruled the other way. It has to go up.

      • DEG

        Yep.

        Roberts will vote with the majority to eviscerate the opinion. It’ll make Scalia’s Heller decision with all of its holes that trucks can drive through look good.

      • Rat on a train

        It does? That may be a tradition, but ultimately SCOTUS decides. They can leave whatever mess they want.

      • DEG

        Kavenaugh is a Roberts type, as leon reminded me above, but I think the Court won’t let a split like this stand. Roberts will write the opinion, and it will be bad.

      • juris imprudent

        True, they could pass on it, but that would be a pretty serious breach of protocol. I don’t doubt that one block of 4 or another would grant cert.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        I’m not convinced the court will do that with the new makeup of the court.

        Barrett has been very gun friendly in her circuit court decisions.

        We don’t need Roberts to vote for granting cert now that RGB has been replaced with someone who is gun friendly.

  10. AlexinCT

    This sort of shit is EXACTLY what I would expect from people that have the facts on their side……

    • rhywun

      LOL. Shopkeepers will post signs in their windows. Where have I heard this story before…?

      • Festus

        I knew this would happen but I was hoping for a slow decent into the madness. Canada seems too far gone but I held you guys as a paragon of virtue. It’s over.

    • Tres Cool

      I bet she’s a blast at parties.

      • Festus

        Know what? I’ll bet she is! When she lets her hair down she’s probably one one Creosote’s acolytes. First Wifey went to Uni with some rad-fems and they were all about the dick when she wasn’t minding her lamb.

      • Tres Cool

        You’re only enhancing my Lucinda Willams boner.
        Ex-wife was besties with some Roller Derby girls….talk about cray

        /goes to wipe-up

      • Festus

        Right? All this talk around the table and Comrade Xer is squeezing my johnson on the down-low. It was an actual breaking point. Ah fuck, I WAS YOUNG! Never went through with it. Festus don’t cheat.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      There’s a name for a governing system that forces private entities to collaborate with the government’s political goals.

      • WTF

        But it’s DEMOCRATIC Fascism!

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Smart commentariat. Any overlap between here and there?

    • Rebel Scum

      A former federal prosecutor, Glenn Kirschner, has launched a campaign to force “every business in America” to take a pledge that states, in part, that “The 2020 presidential election was free and fair, and produced accurate, reliable results.”

      That is not evil, Orwellian, fascistic horseshit at all…

    • AlexinCT

      Wait, this is art?

      I thought it was some idiot pretending to be an artist creating another instalment of shit that will be peddled as art but serves only to dilute and destroy real art.

    • Chipwooder

      Charlottesville was a nice, normal place when I lived there. It’s Berkeley of the Blue Ridge now.

      • AlexinCT

        I wonder if we can talk about what changed….

      • Tres Cool

        Asheville says “hold my beer”

      • Plinker762

        We are all Berkeley now.

      • Tonio

        [golf clap] for “Berkeley of the Blue Ridge.” Ima steal that.

    • Agent Cooper

      Uh, maybe you shouldn’t be mayor?

  11. Festus

    Mornin’ Banjos! That is a solid pop song from some guys that could churn them out like butter for a very long time. Never in even my top 50 but they had a knack for hooks. Thanks for the links!

  12. The Late P Brooks

    President Joe Biden himself called on lawmakers to “close the loopholes in our background check system,” including what’s popularly known as the “Charleston loophole,” through which individuals can purchase a gun without a background check if the FBI fails to process the check within three days of receiving it.

    We need better background checks.

    “Where did you go to school? Who is your father, and whom does he work for? How much money did you contribute to President Biden’s election campaign? Did you vote for him?”

    You know, important stuff. Too many filthy ignorant plebs have access to guns. We need a better class of gun owner.

    • AlexinCT

      We need better background checks.

      You mean for Biden and his Chinese connection? Cause I thought they blocked that news from being delivered.

  13. Tundra

    Good morning, Banjos!

    I did notice that numbers 4-7 on the lobbying list were defense companies, so we’ve got that going for us. Look out, brown people!

    States are defying the feds every day. I look forward to more lawsuits and just outright fuck-yous. We aren’t gonna vote our way out of this,

    I hope you all have a great day!

    • AlexinCT

      We aren’t gonna vote our way out of this,

      After the 2016 election they rigged for their crook somehow was won by some asshole that the serfs decided was better than that cunte despite his numerous problems, I thought it would be obvious that the top class no longer wants to take the risk of us fucking unwashed rubes even think we can do this ever again by voting the way we shouldn’t…

  14. The Late P Brooks

    Who would have guessed out of all the sci-fi authors, we would wind up living in PKD’s world?

    All the people who called him crazy are going to have to apologize when they get to Hell.

    • Drake

      Calling Dick crazy is a mortal sin? Oh shit!

    • EvilSheldon

      PKD was crazy. So was Cassandra.

  15. Rebel Scum

    “Our move to equality, our move to fairness has been inexorable. But it didn’t happen on its own, it took mighty movements and decades of fraught” political fights, Schumer said. “I would like to ask my Republican colleagues, why are you so afraid of democracy?”

    It is constitutionally not permissible and that old adage about wolves and a sheep voting on what’s for dinner.

    officially titled the For the People Act

    More like “For the Leftist/Dem Politicians Act”.

    • rhywun

      Quack quack quack.

      • Plinker762

        Honk honk

  16. Rebel Scum

    McConnell threatens “nuclear winter” if Democrats get rid of filibuster.

    *Yawn*

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      There was a fairly good article about this in the WSJ last week maybe. If he chooses too, McConnell can shut down the Senate. They’ll need a quorum of 51 votes to conduct any business and Kamela doesn’t get a vote.

      Need 51 votes to start before 12pm. Need 51 votes to not read bills in full. Need 51 votes to move forward on every order of business. They can demand a record of votes for even the smallest of tasks, which can take hours per vote. This stuff has all been done without votes before because both parties agreed to skip, but it’s part of the procedure that can be enacted. I don’t know if I fully remember these all exactly correctly, but a split 50:50 Senate can essentially cease to function if one side doesn’t play along.

      Now, who knows if they’ll actually have the conviction to follow through. I’m of the one party- one swamp position, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t factionalism within the swamp party.

      • Festus

        As stated above, McConnell is a swampy through and trough but he’s canny and knows the game. I’m gonna leave that misspell.

      • Agent Cooper

        This should be how the Senate works all the time, actually.

      • leon

        If he did that, i’m sure the Dems would talk about how it is a “constitutional crisis” and that is why they need to skirt the senate to add two more senators from DC to stop this evil obstructionism. The Dems are boringly predictable in their talking points.

      • DEG

        I wonder what type of wailing and knashing of teeth will happen when the Democrats are in the minority and they apply McConnell’s lessons.

      • commodious spittoon

        They think they’ll never be in the minority again, and given have a chance they won’t be.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    Chuck Schumer, freedom fighter.

    • Animal

      You misspelled “sanctimonious prick.”

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        You misspelled “grifter”

      • Animal

        The two aren’t mutually exclusive, of course.

      • AlexinCT

        Fuck that is accurate…

  18. The Late P Brooks

    officially titled the For the People Act

    The Defense of Incumbents Acts.

    • Rebel Scum

      I guess they figured “For the Democratic Party and Connected People Act” was too long.

    • Rat on a train

      Well, one group of incumbents.

  19. Rebel Scum

    Biden plans a $3,000,000,000,000 bill with the goal of quickly “re-engineering” the country.

    So like a Great Reset?

    A recent report in The New York Times said Biden will be proposing “a sweeping $3 trillion package to boost the economy, reduce carbon emissions and narrow economic inequality” — with some of that potentially being paid for by a tax increase.

    We were promised no tax increases. And it won’t be “paid for” by one anyway. Nothing ever is.

    And a Wednesday report from Axios — headlined, “Biden’s New Deal: Re-engineering America, quickly” — suggests Biden is prepared to “jam” that legislation through Congress with no Republican support, if necessary.

    Unity, healing, reconciliation, etc.

    • rhywun

      I thought the two trillion they just shoved down our throats was going to accomplish all of that.

    • invisible finger

      I love how the anonymous bureaucrats just hide behind “Biden” as if that guy was even capable of planning to take a shit, let alone come up with any other kind of plans. He didn’t have any mental capacity to plan 40 years ago.

      • AlexinCT

        Why do you think they “fortified” the election to get Biden in charge? He was gonna be their meat puppet, and nothing else.

  20. UnCivilServant

    Morning, Banjos.

    I’m glad I cut my hair short. We’re trying to find a viable test account for an edge case that has people worked up… and I’m at the point of saying “lets just make a fictitious one already! It’s QA and we need to test the fixes.”

    • Nephilium

      I ‘member a previous place that had a QA environment that was on different OS, hardware, DB versions, application versions, and configuration versions. Then would wonder why things that worked in QA wouldn’t work in Prod…

      • UnCivilServant

        *confused face*

        Why would you do that? QA needs to look like prod or it’s worthless.

      • Nephilium

        Because they didn’t care about the reasons for the environments, and used it as a Dev environment (after they borked their Dev environment). So yeah, there wasn’t a QA environment.

  21. AlexinCT

    Oh snap, this left a mark

    Of course the fucks don’t have shame of any kind because they truly believe you can’t make omelets without a mountain of bodies.

    • DrOtto

      Somewhere on those tweets is room for Don Lemon “Party” ‘s recent comments about Jesus looking like a Muslim, which less than a week ago meant “not white” in the moment.

    • Rebel Scum

      Syrians are now honorary Caucasians when it suits leftists. And that Tariq character is racist af.

      • leon

        To be completely consistent i’ve seen plenty of people one the right assert that Arabs are white too, and then flip on this to point out that this guy wasn’t White.

    • The Last American Hero

      She served her purpose. Now we need her gone before some other shrink calls out Biden as senile and fights termination by citing her.

    • CPRM

      Go out! Celebrate the Chinese New Year! Don’t let racist Drumpf stop you!

      • Nephilium

        You’re just inflaming hatred of AAPI now! Stop Asian Hate!

        On a more serious note, work sent out a message yesterday talking about stopping AAPI hate. Just what we needed, another new acronym to separate us.

      • CPRM

        AAPI sounds like some proprietary Apple interface from the 90s, designed just so you couldn’t use PC parts.

      • Nephilium

        I keep reading it as AAPL, so I wonder if it’s bad that I dislike Apple products.

      • Agent Cooper

        To all my Asian friends: They made you a community you didn’t ask for, are you happy now?

        It’s like the Latinx crap. Latinos hate it, yet white people persist on telling them it’s for their own good.

      • CPRM

        yet white people persist on telling them it’s for their own good.

        #anti-racismFTW

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        My wife hates it. She gags every time she sees it.

        We taught our older son that it’s linguistic colonialism, and that if he sees it at school (which is a decent bet considering we’ve seen it in official school forms) for him to speak up and demand that white liberals stop butchering his language to suit their own political purposes.

  22. Rebel Scum

    14 states sue Biden admin over oil and gas leasing moratorium.

    As if they have standing.

    • Swiss Servator

      New Mexico is silently cheering them on – they stand to lose a whole bunch of their budget if this stands. But no TEAM BLUE state will join the suit.

      • db

        Same for PA. Our worthless governor has tried to choke the fossil fuel industry in the state since he was voted in; regardless of the economic benefits of drilling and production, he’ll destroy a major source of wealth for our state’s people for his party’s crazy crusade.

      • leon

        ut no TEAM BLUE state will join the suit.

        I know that it probably appears this way from the other side, but i must admit that there is something amazing about the sheer discipline the Dems have enforced. No one steps out of line.

        I think it is in part because deviation is so violently (in the metaphorical sense) attacked in the media, and that politicians on the left are predisposed to be weak when it comes to being attacked in the Media (since it never happens to them, any attack stings more).

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Yep, the Democrats’ “whip ” function in the legislature is carried out by the press corps, a thousand non-profits, a thousand wealthy donors, and peer pressure by other representatives just as scared of being pantsed.

      • Nephilium

        The girlfriend was confused by the huge number of giant TRUMP signs all through central PA. She didn’t quite grasp that the rural areas of PA are nothing like the big cities of PA (you know, sort of like every other state).

  23. Nephilium

    So this popped up in my newsfeed the other day. Who doesn’t want a dive bar scented candle?

    • Sean

      Ewww.

      • rhywun

        Right? A real dive bar smells like ass.

      • Festus

        Sickly sweet alcoholic ass.

      • robc

        Stale cigarette smoke.

        Fun story time…back in ye olden days (2005ish?) I was at a dive bar to see a band. It became a fun game to find the other non-smoker in the bar. I failed. This includes staff and the members of the band. The keyboardist was smoking while playing, the rest lit up during their break.

        After the smoking ban, I went back there once. The walls were disgusting from decades of smoke infusing into them. It was the diviest of dive bars and couldn’t survive without the smoke concealing the visuals. It closed shortly thereafter. It is the one and only victim of the smoking ban that I know of.

      • Festus

        We’ve lost over a dozen pubs because of the ban. Fuck Karen! I used to be pretty damn good on the table and they robbed that from me over nothing. Eww. Cigarettes!

      • Nephilium

        There were a couple places here that closed shortly after the ban. Then there were some that operated as smokeeasies, you’d walk in, and be handed a torn down paper cup with a splash of water in the bottom for an ashtray.

      • Festus

        Old Frank Zappa tune comes to mind. “It can’t happen heeeeere”

      • rhywun

        I used to have a couple favorite smokeeasies here. But I lost interest in bars ages ago so I’m less pissed off about the ban than I was back then.

      • DEG

        When NH banned smoking in bars and restaurants, there were no exceptions. There were a couple of guys that were getting ready to open a hookah bar not far from me that caught wind of the new legislation. They lobbied to have the bill killed, or if it wouldn’t be killed, to have an exception for hookah and cigar bars. Nope. No exceptions. They dumped a whole bunch of money into their business only to have the State kill the business before it even started.

        Fast forward a few years later, and the legislature updates the law to allow cigar bars. I don’t remember if the exception allows hookah bars too.

      • rhywun

        Hookah bars never got banned here. Gotta love the hypocrisy.

    • AlexinCT

      DA FUQ?

      What the hell sites do you frequent that they decided this might appeal to you?

      • Nephilium

        Surprisingly, quite a bit of beer news. Miller Lite does qualify as beer, so the algorithms figure that this is beer news, I should be interested in it. Same reason I know that Dixie beer officially changed their name in the past couple of days (Faubourg Brewing Company), the Michigan hop industry is in crisis, Ballast Point is closing their Chicago taproom permanently, and there’s a trend for homebrewers to make hard seltzer.

      • Animal

        Miller Lite does qualify as beer…

        Only just.

      • Swiss Servator

        “Ballast Point is closing their Chicago taproom permanently”

        MUH VICTORY AT SEA!

      • EvilSheldon

        I’ve more or less given up beer, but this one hurts…

      • robc

        Dixie changed names? PC or new ownership or what?

        Bluegrass Brewing changing to Goodwood was possibly the worst name change, although they needed the name change, as there were two Bluegrass Brewing Companies…the brewpubs and the brewery, which started as one but split apart later on.

      • Nephilium

        Dixie/Faubourg announced it last summer, for PC reasons. They announced the new name a couple months back, and have officially started switching over to it now.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      Doesn’t smell the same without the stale cigarette scent.

    • Rebel Scum

      Miller Lite Made a Scented Candle That Smells Like a Dive Bar

      Miller Lite is well suited for a dive bar. Up your beer game.

      • DrOtto

        High Life or GTFO

  24. The Late P Brooks

    President Biden’s having a press conference!

    *jumps up and down excitedly*

    ——-

    News report from the future:

    Sources confirmed today that President Biden reliably recognizes his wife and some members of the Cabinet on a consistent, ongoing basis. Former Vice President Harris, who has not been seen in public for several weeks, did not respond to our request for comment.

    • Festus

      “Incoherence Today! Incoherence Tomorrow and Incoherence Forevah!”

      • EvilSheldon

        Incoherence today. Incontinence tomorrow.

  25. Sean

    Today sucks.

    I wish I could call a lid.

    • UnCivilServant

      I need a vacation.

      I need an accomplishment.

      My current goal is just to clean up and organize the front room. Even that feels out of reach because I have to keep going to work meetings.

      • Sean

        I was gonna swiffer dust the house last night. I said screw it and played Fallout 4 instead.

      • Festus

        #metoo Problem being is that I can’t abide most of the stuff that used to give me joy. It’s a terrible rut.

  26. Sean

    Huh.

    Yeah…that does seem a tad suspicious.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      He was just getting ready to fight for that fresh batch of chicken off the rotisserie.

    • DrOtto

      All articles include a picture of the grocery store, but not the suspect. That seems odd to me.

    • WTF

      Another loon known to the FBI and turned loose to promote gun control? Sounds like tinfoil hat territory, I know, but given the known antics of the left and their deep state enablers over the past 4 years, who knows?

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Convenient how fast the shootings ramped up after Biden and the new Congress were seated.

      • Rebel Scum

        Bodies Eggs => Omelets.

        This recent proliferation is a bit suspicious to say the least.

  27. juris imprudent

    Your day needs this.

    • Festus

      Nope.

    • Festus

      To be sure, Clowns don’t frighten me but they are annoying.

      • juris imprudent

        Puddles is weird and actually a talented singer.

    • db

      That’s wonderful

    • CPRM

      The Gilligan/Stairway one is more impressive. Better than the original vocals on Stairway. (Not a fan of Zepplin)

  28. The Late P Brooks

    Lies, damned lies, and public health expert-ism

    The odds of dying after getting a Covid-19 vaccine are virtually non-existent.

    According to recent data from the Centers For Disease Control and Prevention, you’re three times more likely to get struck by lightning.

    But you might not know that from looking at your social media feed.

    A new NPR analysis finds that articles connecting vaccines and death have been among the most highly-engaged-with content online this year, going viral in a way that could hinder people’s ability to judge the true risk in getting a shot.

    The findings also illustrate a broader trend in online misinformation: with social media platforms making more of an effort to take down patently false health claims, bad actors are turning to cherry-picked truths to drive misleading narratives.

    Now do “Your (or your child’s) likelihood of dying from the snifflecooties, itself.”

    • EvilSheldon

      Oh, and *now* we’re going to encourage a nation of functional innumerates to make accurate assessments of their personal risk? Fuck, you. You play the hysteria game, you get to reap the rewards.

    • Rebel Scum

      The odds of dying after getting a Covid-19 vaccine are virtually non-existent.

      Now do “gun-violence”.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    Who doesn’t want a dive bar scented candle?

    Will it make your floor sticky, too?

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      That’s a different kit sold separately.

    • pistoffnick

      I can make your floor sticky…and on a good day, your ceiling too!

  30. Translucent Chum

    For the hockey nerds around here. My Alma Mater.

    “I need them all.” How a JV team saved a hockey powerhouse.

    On Thursday afternoon after school, one by one, players from the Catholic Central junior varsity walked into Kaleniecki’s classroom. Normally, this room is used to teach health. But in this moment, it’s the meeting room for a group of kids who were going to be asked to keep the varsity’s playoff hopes alive. Babicz was standing at the door as the kids walked in and he could tell they knew the plan. This group of kids was going to replace the entire varsity roster rather than forfeit the game.

  31. Cy Esquire

    Good morning Glibs! Spent all last night trying to unclog the bathroom drain. Turns out it’s past the p trap. Even got the garden hose out. Going to see how one of those drill powered sakes works out.

    • ScoobaSteve

      Did you use the expanding bladder attachment on the hose? I’ve had that work for me.

      • Plinker762

        I hear that M-80s will unclog drain pipes.

      • Cy Esquire

        I did not. I’d forgotten about that doohicky!

      • Jerms

        Ive had success with wet/dry vacs on the suck setting. Might not like what you get-but it works.
        Disconnect the trap and tape vacuum tight to pipe.

  32. The Late P Brooks

    “It’s a really insidious problem,” said Deen Freelon, a communications professor at the University of North Carolina Chapel Hill. “The social media companies have taken a hard line against disinformation; they have not taken a similarly hard line against fallacies.”

    To date, the CDC’s reporting system has not received evidence linking any deaths directly to vaccines.

    I, uh…

    That’s some impressive cape work, NPR. That bull doesn’t know if he’s coming or going.

  33. Rebel Scum

    I don’t think we can trust Manchin on anything.

    “I’m sure of one thing: It’s going to be enormous,” the West Virginia Democrat, who is seen as a swing vote in a chamber divided 50-50, told reporters at the Capitol.

    While he didn’t predict a price tag, Manchin said Congress should do “everything we possibly can” to pay for it. He said there should be “tax adjustments” to former President Donald Trump’s 2017 tax law to boost revenues, including by raising the corporate rate from the current 21 percent to at least 25 percent.

    Some of the tax benefits in the Republican law were “weighted in one direction” and could be reversed, Manchin said. He also suggested an “infrastructure bank” paid for with revenues, potentially a value-added tax, that would be used for “rebuilding America.”…

    “Where do they think it’s going to come from?” he asked. “How are you going to fix America?”

    Probably bringing home some bacon to WV, I guess.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      A VAT tax is a horrendous idea.

      • Nephilium

        So you’re saying we’ll have one before the midterms?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      JHTFC, a VAT tax?

      Of all the boneheaded, insane ideas, this is one of the worst.

      Ignoring the ethical aspects of it, VAT tax compliance is extremely complicated and adds tremendous overhead to any manufacturing environment.

      If you want to drive even more manufacturing offshore, this is certainly one way to do it.

    • Swiss Servator

      A VAT? Well, it was fun having a functioning economy while it lasted.

      • CPRM

        But everyone will paid a Living Wage! #Feelz

        (TBH, a VAT or some form of consumption tax replacing all other tax structures is something I prefer, but adding it on top of income, property…etc taxes is a terrible idea)

      • leon

        In America, we hear you like taxes, so we have taxed your taxes so you can pay taxes on your taxes.

    • Chipwooder

      Whatever horseshit taxes they enact, I hope that they at least are designed to inflict maximum pain on the suburban gentry crowd who put the vegetable in the White House in the first place. Buy the ticket, take the ride bitches.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        VAT doesn’t. It hits the functioning part of the economy hardest.

      • Animal

        Maybe John Galt had the right idea after all.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        The productive quasi rich like doctors and fairly successful business owners are going to take it up the pooper. The truly rich aren’t going to have taxes raised on shit and the corporations will just pass on the costs to the consumer.

      • Chipwooder

        I’m talking about your average fortysomething marketing executive who lives in a McMansion with a bottle-blonde wife who wears Lululemon workout clothes almost 24/7, driving their gigantic Lexus SUV with Coexist and Sierra Club stickers to Whole Foods. Those assholes.

      • juris imprudent

        You could take the mightiest of clue-bats to those types and never make a dent.

      • leon

        And those kinds of voters are killing us all one-by-one-by-one-by-one.

      • juris imprudent

        And the Dems keep saying MOAR VOTERZ!

  34. The Late P Brooks

    Freelon, of UNC-Chapel Hill, says when it comes to conspiratorial thinking, stats and nuance often don’t matter as much as tragic stories.

    “This is something that we see repeatedly with human cognition,” Freelon said. “It’s the emphasis on the breathless anecdote and then the discounting of statistics that are much more representative.”

    That’s remarkably un-selfaware, even for a professor of “communications” at a prestigious university.

    “Those guys are carefully grooming the facts to push the other side of narrative. That’s cheating.”

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Learning from tragic (and good) stories is a lot of what life is about and learning from anecdote is just incorporating experiences outside one’s own self. He does have a bit of a point, that larger bodies of data and statistical analyses are important, but he’s also pushing an agenda so fuck that guy.

    • Muzzled Woodchipper

      Freelon, of UNC-Chapel Hill, says when it comes to conspiratorial thinking, stats and nuance often don’t matter as much as tragic stories.

      “This is something that we see repeatedly with human cognition,” Freelon said. “It’s the emphasis on the breathless anecdote and then the discounting of statistics that are much more representative.”

      Now do guns.

  35. Nephilium

    Time to redefine another word… from the local news:

    66% of adults in Cleveland are functionally illiterate: What that means regarding the Covid vaccine

    That seems a bit high to me, going through the article though reveals this gem:

    While many Clevelanders want to get their dose of the vaccine, adult illiteracy means they are easily swayed in the wrong direction by rumors and false information.

    According to research from Case Western Reserve University, 66% of Clevelanders are functionally illiterate.

    Rodriguez, who has interacted with residents with similar struggles, has heard of these faulty reasonings first-hand.

    “‘I’m allergic to this kind of food,’ or ‘I’m not going to take the Covid [vaccine] because someone told me if I take the [vaccine] with my issue I might die,’” she explained.

    No linking to the study showing 66% illiteracy (spiking to 95% in minority communities), and no comments about our HEROES the public school teachers.

    • Swiss Servator

      That is because they are UNDERFUNDED!

    • AlexinCT

      Like most shit these people that LUV science do, they pulled that number out of their ass…

  36. leon

    I wonder if the more foreseeing individuals on the left are upset with the 9th over this decision because it is forcing a confrontation on this issue at the supreme Court.

    Especially since open and concealed carry are legal in almost every state.

    As an aside it’s a testament to the limp dicked nature of the GOP that they will nullify federal drug law but not federal gun laws.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Yep. This is probably a win in the long run.

      • juris imprudent

        You mean it’s a coin-flip at SCotUS.

      • leon

        Hey 50/50 is a pretty good chance when it comes to SCOTUS!

  37. The Late P Brooks

    Whatever horseshit taxes they enact, I hope that they at least are designed to inflict maximum pain on the suburban gentry crowd who put the vegetable in the White House in the first place. Buy the ticket, take the ride bitches.

    “Whycome my new refrigerator cost twice as much as the old one?”

    • CPRM

      Becuz Drumpf!

      • juris imprudent

        You laugh, that’s exactly how the California Dems operate. Not even sure they’ve stopped blaming Reagan.

      • Chipwooder

        Honest to God, I was reading some loony’s twitter rant recently where he was screaming about how most of California’s problems are the direct result of the Reagan Administration.

        No, not President Reagan, Governor Reagan. Seriously, his diatribe was all about Reagan as California governor.

      • Gustave Lytton

        They’re still whining about how California has a revenue problem from Prop 13, while the state and localities continue to spend like drunken sailors for the past forty years.

      • Rat on a train

        Governor Reagan is pretty recent compared to blaming events from more than 150 years ago for why kids fail math.

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        The homeless problem is due to Reagan too, even though the Dems have controlled the legislature my entire life and Dems have been governor for most of it. If they really knew what to do about it, they would have done it by now.

  38. PieInTheSky

    My friend in Dutchland told me that pandemic affected him also in the way that he started drinking more.

    I told him dude I doubt what you do would be called drinking, I know you

    He says to me: No, I had a gin and tonic 3 evenings last week.

    Drinking he says. 3 whole gin and tonics in a week. It amused me.

    • Sean

      Adorbs.

      Reminds me, I’m almost of of gin and must buy some today.

      • Sean

        *out of

      • PieInTheSky

        I cheaped out and bought a bottle of cheaper gin than usual, hope it is good.

        Gin Lane 1751 Small Batch London Dry Gin

        Got it yesterday, did not try it.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Maybe he’s mixing them by the liter though.

      • PieInTheSky

        Well given before he was drinking one beer a week, no. It is probably under 100 ml of gin per drink

    • wdalasio

      Well, it would work if the reason he had gin and tonics 3 evenings last week was that he had finished the bottles of bourbon (or Irish whiskey) he’d bought each of the days and needed a nightcap.

    • EvilSheldon

      I’ve switched almost completely away from beer, over to cocktails and liquor. Oddly, it’s probably been beneficial to my health. I’ve lost almost fifteen pounds over COVID.

  39. Rebel Scum

    Heh.

    REPORTER: “Would you mind putting on a mask for us?”

    CRUZ: “Yeah, when I’m talking to the TV camera, I’m not going to wear a mask. All of us have been immunized.”

    REPORTER: “It’d make us feel better.”

    CRUZ: “You’re welcome to step away if you’d like.”

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      Cruz is a breath of fresh air every now and again. Too bad he seems to be all talk.

      • Swiss Servator

        What did/does he vote wrong on? Senators cannot do much more than talk and vote.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        He didn’t move on all of the Communication Act he blustered about in committee sessions. That may have rendered the ‘Fortification’ of the election considerably more difficult.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Good for Cruz.

    • leon

      Cruz is a Snake, but hell if i don’t appreciate when he treats the Media with ever ounce of derision that they deserve.

  40. The Late P Brooks

    Learning from tragic (and good) stories is a lot of what life is about and learning from anecdote is just incorporating experiences outside one’s own self. He does have a bit of a point, that larger bodies of data and statistical analyses are important, but he’s also pushing an agenda so fuck that guy.

    Those motherfuckers have been hyping extreme low probability outcomes and pushing anecdotal sob stories at us for more than a year. They have done everything they can to rob us of the ability to make an individual and independent assessment of personal risk. They can all die in a fire.

    • ruodberht

      WUT? You mean there aren’t millions of 18-25 year olds who got the VID and have permanent breathing problems now?!

      Do you think people would really do that? Just go on the Internet and tell lies?

  41. The Late P Brooks

    According to research from Case Western Reserve University, 66% of Clevelanders are functionally illiterate.

    “Functionally illiterate” now means, “won’t do what we think they should”.

    Okay.

  42. Rebel Scum

    Fuck you, woke Jay Leno.

    “At the time I did those jokes, I genuinely thought them to be harmless,” Leno said on a recent Zoom call with Guy Aoki, leader of the activist group, Media Action Network for Asian Americans (MANAA), according to a report by Variety. “I was making fun of our enemy North Korea, and like most jokes, there was a ring of truth to them.” …

    “At the time, there was a prevailing attitude that some group is always complaining about something, so don’t worry about it. Whenever we received a complaint, there would be two sides to the discussion: Either ‘We need to deal with this’ or ‘Screw ’em if they can’t take a joke,’” Leno added. “Too many times I sided with the latter, even when in my heart, I knew it was wrong.” …

    “I am issuing this apology. I do not consider this particular case to be another example of cancel culture, but a legitimate wrong that was done on my part,” Leno said. “MANAA has been very gracious in accepting my apology. I hope that the Asian American community will be able to accept it as well, and I hope I can live up to their expectations in the future.”

    • leon

      Will he apologize for the jokes about Big Chins?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        He still needs to apologize for getting O’Brien, the funny one, shitcanned from the Tonight Show. Damn antiIrish bastard.

      • leon

        I’ve never found O’Brien to be funny.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Admittedly he is a bit of a niche comedian.

      • Chipwooder

        He’s OK. I never understood how he had such a fanatical following, though. He’s chuckle humor, basically, not laugh-out-loud humor.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Both from Boston now that I think of it.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I wonder if he’ll get down to the important work of condemning and demanding the cancellation of comedians who don’t buy into the woke bullshit now. Imma bet on yes.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      Did he get called out or is he just apologizing to get his name out there as a proof of life?

    • The Other Kevin

      So he’s no longer a comedian?

    • CPRM

      When will he apologize for those ‘jokes’ not being funny? That’s the real offense.

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      His cars were being held hostage by Asian drivers until he apologized.

  43. The Late P Brooks

    Ann Bostrom, an expert on risk perception at the University of Washington, says many of these people are judging the situation incorrectly.

    For someone to correctly calculate the real risk involved in getting a shot, she says, they need to consider the hundreds of thousands of people who have died because they were not vaccinated against Covid-19, not just a random headline.

    “We rarely get the contextual information we need,” Bostrom says. “And it’s really hard to judge the importance of something without that information.”

    No shit, Shirley?

    • leon

      “You can’t be taking these headlines out of context and not get vaccinated out of fear! You have to take those other headlines out of context and get vaccinated out of Fear!”

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      For someone to correctly calculate the real risk involved in getting a shot, she says, they need to consider the hundreds of thousands of people who have died because they were not vaccinated against Covid-19

      7 people out of 22,000 died from Covid in the placebo arm of J&J’s vaccine trial. There’s your true quantification of the risk to unvaccinated individuals who aren’t part of high-risk groups.

      • robc

        How many died in the vaccine cohort?

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        Zero

      • robc

        Hmmm….I guess that means greater than 86% effective, because if 1 had died, that would be 1/7th?

        I know the statistics don’t work exactly that way, but I cant do statistical tests in my head.

        That is still only 1 in 3000 dead in the placebo group, that would imply only 100k dead in the US. I am guessing the trial group skewed young.

      • robc

        Also the shorter time period of the trial versus the virus would reduce the number also. But I am guessing not a representative sample by age.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        I haven’t been able to find a breakdown of the results yet. The deaths is just what the WSJ reported in an article. I don’t know that the sample necessarily skewed young but I assume the elderly and those with certain comorbidities were excluded.

        There could very well be 300k dead in the US from Covid, but the overwhelming majority are contained to certain groups. I take the J&J numbers to the most accurate for the general population because they aren’t being incentivized to report anything possible as a Covid-related death (guy falls off a ladder and tests positive so is recorded as a covid death).

        My takeaway is that there is essentially zero risk of death from Covid for the general population. It would be really interesting to see what group those 7 deaths fell into (over 60? obese? diabetes? no preexisting condition?).

      • CPRM

        A .03181818181 chance of death without the vaccine!!!!!1!!11! Shoot me up now!

      • egould310

        You’re missing a couple of “00” or a “%”

      • CPRM

        It’s the % sign. I’m not a mathamgician! I’m a drunk internet cartoonist!

  44. OBJ FRANKELSON

    So how is this HR 1 monstrosity constitutional? What are the odds the courts will actually do their job in regards to it?

    • leon

      It isn’t, so it’s right in line for the courts to green light it.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Because commerce clause.

      • leon

        Do the courts even pretend to link things to the constitution anymore? It’s all emanations and penumbras and judicially created doctrines.

      • juris imprudent

        And you think 50/50 is good odds at SCotUS for a 2nd Amdt case?

      • leon

        Compared to 10/90 odds? Yeah. My default is that the Court will fuck things up, so saying something is a coin flip (a statement you alleged) is markedly improved odds 😉

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        The most likely outcome from the Roberts court is a ruling against it that is so narrowly applicable so as to make it essentially useless

      • juris imprudent

        Alright smarty-pants.

      • Rat on a train

        The most likely outcome from the Roberts court is a ruling against it that is so narrowly applicable so as to make it essentially useless

        The QI route. The ruling only covers the specifics of this case down to the persons involved, dates, locations, …

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        1. Pass it
        2. Courts shoot it down
        3. Use those outcomes as a justification for court packing
        4. Revisit it later with favorable courts

    • The Other Kevin

      I try very hard to be objective, but to me this is the most transparent power grab I’ve ever seen. The upsetting part is that there are so many people who are buying into this nonsense about “democracy”.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Democracy is 50.1 percent of the population jamming their schlong down the throat of 49.9 percent of the population. You know…hell on earth.

      • leon

        A lot of this, but i can’t see this as anything but a naked “we have power and we mean to never loose it again”.

      • UnCivilServant

        If it’s never loosed that would be great.

        Oh, that’s a typo, now I’m sad. 🙁

      • leon

        Loose vs Lose is one that gets me all the time. the single `o` just doesn’t feel like it should be that `uew` sound. see also: Nose vs Noose.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        It’s an utterly predictable power grab, too. Insane authoritarians and all that.

  45. hayeksplosives

    Tom Woods had the author of a book on the green new deal and its parallels to Covid mania on yesterday.

    Good stuff.

    https://tomwoods.com/podcasts/

  46. juris imprudent

    Ozy, RCD – following on to yesterday’s discussion about Powell. I’m interested to see what you think of this and how it might relate.

    A New York state Supreme Court judge rebuked the Times last week for pioneering a novel defense against libel. The paper is now asserting it is entitled to assert opinions in news stories, without labeling or distinguishing the opinion from fact.

  47. The Other Kevin

    Scott Adams makes some great points today on Twitter:

    “Half the country thinks the Republic will be better off if people without IDs vote. If we had a real press in this country, I’d like to see a politician get pushed to explain the reasoning in some detail.”

    “Is the idea here that people who can’t figure out how to get a drivers license or other identification will improve the quality of the electoral decision-making?”

    “And if we are not trying to improve the quality of election decisions, what ARE we trying to accomplish? Do we want to avoid politically disenfranchising people with no IDs? Because I think that’s the least of their problems.”

    “If you live in America as a legal resident, and yet you have no ID, is voting in the top-hundred of your priorities? Whose problem are we trying to solve here? And if you wanted to solve problems for this group, wouldn’t “get an ID” be at the top of the list?”

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I can’t get on a plane without a REALID or passport now.

      I can exert political power over my neighbors without an ID, but I’m not free to move about the country.

      • juris imprudent

        And of course you aren’t driving anywhere, so you can only get around by foot, bike or bus (maybe rail?). It is a progressive wet-dream.

      • leon

        I can exert political power over my neighbors without an ID, but I’m not free to move about the country.

        Yeah… That’s what they wan’t you to believe.

        If Voting exerted any power, the would damn well make you get an ID to do it, and put you on a DoNotID List if you were suspected of being on the wrong team.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Well…. true

        I am entitled to the illusion of political power without any ID.

        It’s too early to start franking dammit. Knock it off.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That’s a new one…

        “drinking”

      • Swiss Servator

        Just be careful “Franking” too much – that was what started Dan Rostenkowski’s fall.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’ll Frank whenever and wherever I want!

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        But you’ve got franking privileges going for you, evidently.

    • juris imprudent

      The lazy and ignorant are expected to vote for us, that is all the rationale necessary. /Democratic Party

      The thing is, they ought to realize how dangerous that presumption is – particularly in light of a somewhat successful populist demagogue of late. But the ability to deny any and all self-awareness and general connection to reality is rampant amongst the proggies.

      • The Other Kevin

        Democrats are masters of the bait and switch. Just like the Covid relief bill that is 5% sent to tax payers, and the rest bailing out pensions and other pet projects. (Why would you oppose a Covid relief bill? Do you not want people to be relieved from Covid?)

        Here they are spinning a story about people being disenfranchised. As if that happens on a wide scale in 2021. (Do you hate minorities? Do you want to prevent them from voting?) Meanwhile all this does is make it way easier to commit voter fraud, and make it harder to investigate fraud.

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        “As if that happens on a wide scale in 2021.”

        Does it even happen on a narrow scale? You’d think there would be sob stories in the news if it actually happens at all.

  48. The Late P Brooks

    “Republican strategist” says

    Republican Strategist Mike Murphy predicted that the surge at the southern border and the unprecedented number of children in U.S. custody will become a political tool for the GOP to rally its base against the Biden administration — and to divert attention from former President Trump’s failures in combating the coronavirus pandemic.

    “There are people inside the Republican Party saying, ’Look, we can change the topic of the debate from Biden’s action on coronavirus … compared to Trump’s failures, to disaster at the border,” Murphy said Wednesday. “That’s our sheet music, that means the debate goes our way.”

    The Biden administration has defended its handling of the situation at the Mexican border. Department of Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas has attributed the dire state of the U.S. immigration system to the Trump administration’s policies.

    Oh, my goodness. Somebody might try to use use the facts against us.

    Quick, talk about Trump!

    • tripacer

      Pounce!

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Ho! Ha ha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Ha! Thrust!

      • juris imprudent

        “If you can dodge a wrench…”

      • Festus

        Toxteth’s comment was the j’n sais quois of comments. Kissy fingers and everything.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        /bill snaps upward

      • Festus

        Perfect!

    • CPRM

      former President Trump’s failures in combating the coronavirus pandemic.

      which were?

      • kbolino

        If only he had expedited the vaccine process like Joe Biden did!

    • Festus

      Ululations are imminent!

    • Chipwooder

      I don’t know if Murphy was officially a member of the Lincoln Project, but that’s his crowd.

  49. The Late P Brooks

    Apparently, the thing from Pennsylvania was confirmed as Secty of HHS.

    Now we need a flat-earther to run NASA.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I don’t care so much about the trans nonsense, it’s the I jammed Covid patients into nursing homes after pulling my mother out of one of those nursing homes nonsense.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I care about both.

        As an adult, you’re free to do whatever you want to yourself. However, I am not required to think it is a wise decision or that it does not reflect on your capacity for rational thought.

        And that loon thinks that children should be able to make life-altering medical decisions without parental involvement. That’s straight up evil and child abuse. It shouldn’t be anywhere near the levers of power.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I didn’t realize that was their position on kid altering. Yeah, screw that person.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        We reasonably assume at least. The question was never answered when Rand Paul asked.

      • rhywun

        It’s almost like they nominated her* for spite.

        *Hey, at least it’s a pre-existing pronoun

      • Old Man With Candy

        This isn’t “that person.” THIS IS AN IMPORTANT VENDOR OF OATS!!!!

    • creech

      I don’t give a crap about the gender. It was the incompetence shown while running PA’s response. Since Levine left, PA has moved from something like 45th place in vaccinations to 17th. The Peter Principle no longer applies: one doesn’t merely get raised to a position they are incompetent to hold; the incompetent keep getting raised to even higher positions they are incompetent to hold.

      • Festus

        “Peter Principal” Snerk!

      • Gustave Lytton

        I think that’s the Dilbert Principle.

      • leon

        The Peter Principle no longer applies: one doesn’t merely get raised to a position they are incompetent to hold; the incompetent keep getting raised to even higher positions they are incompetent to hold.

        Ours is to suffer the final stages of an Empire run for the pleasure of the elites without regard to reality, but such things cannot last forever and the future will be bright. If we can not enjoy those times now, we can be happy knowing that by such incoherence, the future will look better for our descendants.

      • juris imprudent

        and the future will be bright

        Well until the bonfire has consumed all of the fuel. Then there will be darkness, and cold.

    • Festus

      Needs moar duct rape.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Thanks, Collins and Murkowski.

      • Sean

        ^^ this

  50. The Late P Brooks

    I don’t care so much about the trans nonsense, it’s the I jammed Covid patients into nursing homes after pulling my mother out of one of those nursing homes nonsense.

    Exactly.

    • Festus

      Using “Jammed” is homophobic. You are here-by banned, Hater1

    • Chipwooder

      That, and advocating that children should be able to mutilate their genitals regardless of what their parents think.

    • juris imprudent

      You. Don’t. CARE?

      You don’t get to not care, you don’t get to oppose or ignore or disregard. YOU WILL CELEBRATE THE GLORIOUS LIFE-AFFIRMING CHOICE you worthless heathen.

  51. leon

    How pissed do you think Mitt has to be that Both Trump and Biden floated a cabinet position for him, and have snubbed him? He’s like classic Charlie brown.

    I know i’m pissed that Biden hasn’t put him on his cabinet and delivered us from Massachusets 3rd Senator.

    • Ed Wuncler

      Romney’s spine is made of jelly. I remember when he ran in 2012 and I couldn’t hold my nose to vote for that assclown because it was obvious that he would throw his principles (if he had any) out the window for power.

      • CPRM

        it was obvious that he would throw his principles (if he had any) out the window for power.

        That’s why they teamed him staunch conservative…Paul Ryan. They aren’t the stupid party without reason.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        He would have been the newly elected President right after Sandy Hook and would have given congressional Reps cover for a draconian gun control disaster. I’m still thankful he lost.

  52. Certified Public Asshat

    White mass murderers never get wounded by the police and rarely even get prosecuted pic.twitter.com/vK5JOEfNak— Michael Malice (@michaelmalice) March 24, 2021

    Now that is how you troll.

    • rhywun

      Ouch.

    • Chipwooder

      Malice has really been rolling lately. It’s always impressive to see someone hitting on all cylinders like that.

    • Muzzled Woodchipper

      That’s getting in to T level trolling territory. Well done.

  53. leon

    My gym does riddles of the day and todays was:

    “Why are Frogs so happy?”

    And i almost quipped to the recepcionist: “It’s because the water is making the freaken frogs gay!”

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I laughed.

      • Festus

        YEP

  54. UnCivilServant

    Beneficial side effect of teleconferences. While I’m not needed I can address things around the house. So while the hosts were fighting with zoom to get another person in, I was sifting through the front room and finding a lot of the clutter was easily disposed of. It looks worse because I’ve churned everything up, but now a lot is staged to go to the curb.

    Back to the meeting now that they got the guy on the call.

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      Do you have a pepe meme up as your avatar for zoom meetings. Because if you don’t, you should.

      • UnCivilServant

        No, and no I should not.

        Whycome you hate me?

      • CPRM

        Because you, with a single swipe of your gigantic limbs, could take out like 15 politicians, yet you work for them like a cowardly giant.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        You’re no fun.

      • Agent Cooper

        Trump pic with MISS ME YET? plastered on it FTW.

      • Old Man With Candy

        I accidentally forgot to change my stuff for a business zoom call and ended up named Old Man and had my Gadsden Flag with Sweaty Jew Head as my background. Oops.

      • db

        oh man that’s “I got hacked” territory there

    • leon

      It looks worse because I’ve churned everything up, but now a lot is staged to go to the curb.

      I once had a roommate who kept a whole bunch of his stuff in a spare room in garbage bags. I didn’t know this was spare stuff, so one day when i got fed up with his shit i thought i’d just toss his garbage on the side of the curb for garbage day.

      He woke up to find me doing this an freaked out that i was throwing away all his important belongings that it thought was just garbage strewed around.

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, I’m going through my own stuff, so I can tell the difference between what can be chucked and what should stay.

      • rhywun

        I had a roommate who lived on top of a two-foot layer of crap in his bedroom. All the CD’s he borrowed from me were at the bottom.

      • UnCivilServant

        I don’t get how that degree doesn’t bother people. I’m the first to admit I’m not that good at keeping my place uncluttered, but when you’re unable to see the floor and/or measuring crap in feet of depth, I can’t abide.

      • CPRM

        What’s so interesting about the floor that you need to see?

      • UnCivilServant

        Confidence that nothing is going to spear my feet like an improvised caltrop.

        And that there are no vermin or verminsign about.

      • CPRM

        Just don’t walk on the cluttered parts of the floor, it’s like snow that you didn’t shovel.

      • Sean

        Do you want Dianogas? Because that’s how you get Dianogas.

      • rhywun

        To be fair, his room wasn’t all that bigger than his mattress. And it was under the stairs. We called him “the roommate who lives under the stairs.”

      • Agent Cooper

        Harry Potter was your roommate?

    • UnCivilServant

      Anyone know a way to end remote control or just stop sharing your screen when you’re fighting with the other person for control of the mouse? Some keyboard shortcut? All the internet search results seem to want to help with initiating the share not ending it.

      • UnCivilServant

        Alt-Shift-S apparently toggles share

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        You should leave it and bump the mouse when the presenter is about to click to the next slide or somesuch.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m trying to regain contol so I can do something, not to annoy the vendor.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Ooh, look at you and your ability to make decisions. La di da.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        (uh, meant re clutter, not computing)

      • UnCivilServant

        How many empty cardboard boxes am I going to use?

  55. Festus

    Heh. Judi’s little dog has decided to love me since she went vegan. Bit of steak? Here ya go. Poms are the worst and the best.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Aw. Barky little thing, I take it?

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      Most of the Poms I have known have been too barky and bitey for my tastes. Purse dogs are the worst.

  56. KromulentKristen

    OK. Just received an invite in my work email to watch the POTUS press conference. As if it’s a YOOGE event for a sitting goddamn President to give a fucking press conference. OMG HE’S GONNA SPEAK!

    • leon

      He single handedly restored our faith in democracy. Why wouldn’t you want him to speak?

    • CPRM

      And only SOME of the words he speaks are pre-planned!

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Do you mean the ones that are cogent?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      They’re probably starting the Aricept and modafinil infusion as we speak.

      • Gustave Lytton

        And showing the proof of life videos to the reporters so they know what their role is.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Are there two guys walking on either side while glancing over their shoulders for an Italian hit man? Because that doesn’t count.

    • db

      We’re all so proud of our special little guy taking his first baby steps.

    • juris imprudent

      How exactly will he have a press conference when he takes no questions?

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        “And now I’ll be happy to answer some questions”

        *secret service swarms around Joe and escorts him off stage*

      • leon

        That does clear up some questions we had…

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      They will get rid of the reporters that will do anything other than ask waist-high eighty mile an hour fastball laid out over the middle of the plate questions.

      • CPRM

        eighty mile an hour fastball laid out over the middle of the plate

        Whoa, whoa, whoa, they aren’t Trumpists! Keep it under the speed limit! 45mph, for the children!

    • Gender Traitor

      What time? More to the point, too early in the day to make it a drinking game?

      • Swiss Servator

        1:15pm Eastern. That is why they have been calling a lid early, recently.

  57. The Late P Brooks

    Like the butcher who backed into the sausage grinder, they have gotten a little behind in their work

    The IRS had a backlog of almost 12 million paper tax returns from individuals and businesses as of Christmas, according to a report from the Treasury Inspector General for Tax Administration.

    As a result, many taxpayers may not have gotten refunds owed from last year’s filing season, the watchdog said in its briefing, which was publicly released Wednesday.

    The Covid pandemic hobbled the agency’s ability to receive, sort, distribute and process paper tax returns, according to the report and agency officials.

    ——-

    Now, $1,400 stimulus checks and insufficient staffing may hamper the tax collector’s ability to quickly address the backlog as this year’s tax season is underway, according to the report. Last week, the IRS extended the filing season to May 17 from April 15.

    This may delay refunds and some stimulus payments for individuals, the report said.

    ——-

    At the same time, the agency was also tasked with issuing prior rounds of pandemic relief, like $1,200 and $600 stimulus checks. The IRS issued more than 168 million CARES Act payments totaling $280 billion as of Dec. 18, Corbin said.

    This would be an excellent time to make major changes to the tax code and the fundamental duties and responsibilities of the IRS.

    • leon

      As a result, many taxpayers may not have gotten refunds owed from last year’s filing season,

      Overpay on your taxes? We’ll get you the money back on our time.

      Not pay Taxes? Here’s another $1400 we took from that other guy waiting for a refund.

    • rhywun

      Your dedicated public servants, sitting on their ass at home all day with nobody looking over their shoulder.

  58. Festus

    Gadzooks! I need to break away now. Have fun my beloved Glibs, I need to eat and sleep for tomorrow is yet another day. Be well!

  59. wdalasio

    I wonder if this jerk-off is hoping to get Vaclav Havel’s greengrocer to sign it.

    HT to Ozzy for the reference.

    • juris imprudent

      Sweep that pile of drugs between your heels up to comment #10.

  60. leon

    The Hill with a Cold, but Awful take:

    https://twitter.com/thehill/status/1375083067530952707

    It’s time to stop feeling sorry for restaurants

    Don’t read the replies if you want to think there was compassion on the Left. Envy is an ugly way to go about life.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      This just in. On average, journalists are shit people.

      • kbolino

        They reflect their audience.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      “ Yeah, I’m not crying over places that charge $20 for an average plate of food…we’re all better to stay home and cook anyways”

      Then don’t eat at those places bitch. We’re going to need a minimum IQ for settlement in Libertystan.

      • kbolino

        She probably has it. IQ is a measure of book smarts not empathy or critical thinking.

      • CPRM

        No, IQ is a test of timed response to logic problems that assume only 1 solution to each problem.

      • kbolino

        Fair enough. It is not even as broad as “book smarts” implies.

  61. db

    I just got an e-mail from Etsy asking if I want to opt out of Mother’s Day e-mails and promotions. I’m guessing that they’re hoping to get out ahead and avoid some controversy over customers complaining about the fact that there’s still such a holiday, and that it hasn’t been renamed “Front Hole Life Mentor’s Day.”

    • leon

      They day they come for mothers day is the day I go to war. /Mamas Boy’s Unite!

    • rhywun

      Front Hole Life Mentor’s Day

      ROFL

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        ? front holes, front holes
        We celebrate the front holes
        Theyre not a sacks and theyre not poles
        We love our mentors with front holes?

    • Nephilium

      Meh. I just checked and got the same e-mail. It was offering an opt out for the holiday messages as “it can be a difficult time” for some people, which isn’t the worst thing. Now the interesting one will be if they start allowing people to select checkboxes to opt out of all of the holiday promotions, if they repeat the same message for Father’s Day, or neither.

      • db

        I didn’t read the whole e-mail, as I have images turned off by default in my mail client, so I probably missed most of the text that is sent as an image.

        I guess I overreacted.

  62. The Late P Brooks

    It’s time to stop feeling sorry for restaurants

    Somebody else will come along and open a newer better restaurant. It’s not as if they would need to worry about being arbitrarily forced out of business by a government bureaucrat at a m0ment’s notice.

    • leon

      But remember, it’s an act of violence to tell a journalist to “Learn to Code” when they lose their job.

      • Rat on a train

        “Learn to code” has been replaced by “learn to install solar panels”.

      • kbolino

        My job is important and my industry performs a vital function for society. Your job is fungible and your industry expendable.

      • rhywun

        People love hearing that.

  63. Chipwooder

    Can’t see anything going awry here, can you?

    Weeks into the Biden administration, the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) is mulling a larger focus on the “Environmental, Social, and Governance” (ESG) actions of publicly-traded companies — amorphous categories that one industry official said could lead to “politicizing the role of the corporation” that “will inevitably alienate not only a large portion of a company’s customer base but a significant percentage of the company’s workforce.”…..

    ….“No single issue has been more pressing for me than ensuring that the SEC is fully engaged in confronting the risks and opportunities that climate and ESG pose for investors, our financial system and our economy,” Allison Lee, a Democrat appointed to the commission in 2019 and named acting chair by President Joe Biden, wrote in an op-ed this month.

    The push will not end with climate change, Lee pledged. “In the near term,” the SEC’s efforts should include initiatives such as encouraging companies to report workforce and board diversity, she said.</blockquote.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      mulling a larger focus on the “Environmental, Social, and Governance” (ESG) actions of publicly-traded companies

      There’s a word for this. Face… Fash…. Fascia…

      It’ll come to mr.

      • rhywun

        I wish the Stupid Party would nut up and say it.

    • kbolino

      Allison Lee, a Democrat appointed to the commission in 2019

      wut

      • Gustave Lytton

        There’s probably a rule that the SEC must be a duopoly, like the FCC.

  64. Sean
    • db

      I struggle with deciding on an appropriate response to that.

    • CPRM

      grifters gonna graft, or some such.

    • Hank

      Were these “researchers” working on Mexican wrestler uniforms, and were about to discard these for being too silly, before having the inspired idea of linking them to Covid?

      /Just Asking Questions