Tuesday Morning Links

by | Mar 23, 2021 | Daily Links | 398 comments

Let’s be honest: the crowd sizes are about the same as they’d be in a regular year.

The Big Ten has not had a good NCAA tournament.  Only one team remains. Meanwhile, the Pac 12 has 4 teams in the last 16. That’s insane. More women have stepped forward and accused Deshaun Watson, none of which talked to the police. Apparently they’re playing a women’s NCAA tournament as well, but like every year nobody is watching it. And the international break has started in soccer, with some nice matches starting tomorrow. And that’s sports.

Keri

Culinary pioneer Fanny Farmer was born on this day. She shares it with outlaw turned evangelist Nathanial Reed, actress Joan Crawford, film legend Akira Kurosawa, legendary sniper Vasily Zaitsev, inventor (and mom to a Monkee) Bette Nesmith Graham, barrier-breaker Roger Bannister, baseball player Lee May, musical great Ric Ocasek, infielder George Scott, singer/songwriter Chaka Kahn, actor Richard Grieco, pitcher Mike Remlinger, actress Keri Russell, distance runner Mo Farah, and baseball player Tony Pena, Jr.

That list is found wanting. So I’m moving on to a lighter version of…the links!

Where’s the chips. Sony?

This is not ideal. Hurry up and fix this so I can get a damn PS5.

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say this guy might not be mentally stable. Which means his union will get him medical leave, a sweet early retirement package, and probably haver any and all charges dropped…all on the taxpayer dime.

Will the “one drop rule” apply? This makes no sense whatsoever.

Cackle. That’s a cackle. Also, I can imagine the reaction if someone from the prior admin was so flippant with the media.

Was that wrong? Was I not supposed to do that? Man, that’s a descriptive police report.

Apropos of nothing (but still funny).

Damn bush-tailed rats. Sadly, this is the best thing to happen in Chicago in some time.

Man, it’s like this family won the shit lottery that day. Twice!

Who gives a shit.That park sucks ass anyhow, as does the surrounding area and the cost to visit it.

I rarely do a song for a birthday boy or girl. Today I’m making an exception. Enjoy it.

Now get out there and have a great day, friends!

About The Author

sloopyinca

sloopyinca

398 Comments

  1. Tres Cool

    sup’ fam ?

    • UnCivilServant

      Work stress.

      Nothing new.

      • Nephilium

        Digging through e-mails, tickets, and other sundry notifications from being out of the office since last week.

        /starts clicking through stale notifications.

    • Tres Cool

      re: the music link

      Either Ric Ocasek was really young, or Im really old. Also, he’s from Ohio (kinda).

      • sloopyinca

        He was 75 when he died a couple years ago. Which shocked me to death when I found out.

      • Festus

        Yeah. He was a sorta ugly guy to begin with but still… Jeezuz, his first band must have been covering Buddy Holly and Little Richard. “New Wave”

      • Galt1138

        He was married to Paulina Porizkova, who still looks amazing.

        Many years back when I worked in low budget movies, the company I worked for made a film called “Knots”, and Porizkova was in it. My boss, one of the producers, got a ride from location to his hotel in NYC from Ocasek, who came to pick up Porizkova.
        He said Ocasek was a really cool guy, and they chatted about all manner of stuff during the ride.
        (Alas, I didn’t get to visit location for that one).

    • Mojeaux

      dishes (sans dishwasher–we are awaiting the one that Mr. Mojeaux won)
      starting kitchen deep-clean
      ebook formatting
      Etsy orders to go out

      • grrizzly

        Mr. Mojeaux wins useful stuff all the time.

      • Mojeaux

        Yes he does and it so happened that he won the dishwasher right exactly when we needed it. Hasn’t arrived and old dishwasher finally died, but hand washing/drying dishes is a small price to pay waiting for a free high-end dishwasher. Stainless tub. Hottest water ahoy!

  2. PieInTheSky

    New York (CNN Business)The computer chip shortage is starting to hit automakers where it really hurts, delaying deliveries of full-size pickups and SUVs.

    So apparently someone was listening to all my pleas to buy a new car

    • UnCivilServant

      I thought you wanted us to buy you a car.

  3. UnCivilServant

    Hurry up and fix this so I can get a damn PS5.

    Good luck.

    • sloopyinca

      My expectations are low through at least the summer.

  4. rhywun

    The [reparations] program is being funded through donations and revenue from a 3% tax on the sale of recreational marijuana.

    LOL/OFFS

    • UnCivilServant

      How long until this goes to court?

      What are the odds the judges follow the law and smack it down?

    • invisible finger

      Does a recipient have to prove ancestry that was bonded to an Evanston plantation?

      • UnCivilServant

        Not from what I’ve seen. The requirement was ancestry from any african ethnic group. So Barry O would be eligable.

      • hayeksplosives

        But Elon Musk of South Africa doesn’t.

      • The Hyperbole

        Qualifying residents must either have lived in or been a direct descendant of a Black person who lived in Evanston between 1919 to 1969 and who suffered discrimination in housing because of city ordinances, policies or practices

      • Swiss Servator

        So, nobody that can qualify then.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        At least the lawyers will benefit.

      • The Hyperbole

        I don’t know, I’m not familiar with the housing policies in Evanston 50-100 years ago.

      • Festus

        You are then, hence, a bigot!

      • db

        How do you show that you suffered discrimination? This sounds like an opportunity for a whole new class of ambulance chasing lawyers to spring up–or add to an existing Social Security Disability advocacy practice.

      • DEG

        Yes.

        It’s a feature, not a bug.

  5. Jerms

    Who gives a shit.That park sucks ass anyhow, as does the surrounding area and the cost to visit it.
    Fuck Disney. Worst time ever. I’d rather sit home and watch my cat eat its own shit than go there again.

    • UnCivilServant

      Disney wholeheartedly embraced antimeritocratic policies that are outright racist in both content and hiring. I avoid giving them my money these days (easy to do, since they don’t crank out anything of value anymore, and never any essentials)

    • Rat on a train

      I prefer Knott’s over Disneyland.

      • Festus

        You and a certain other someone should start DMing. He can teach you the ropes.

      • Plinker762

        Kinky

    • Agent Cooper

      Actually, we went to Disneyland and California Adventure in 2019 (for one day) and had a blast. I think it may be because my kids were 17 and 12 at the time and we could all ride pretty much everything. Having little kids there is both great (when they’re not tired or hungry) and the worst (the end of the day.)

      • CPRM

        If I were to take small kids to a Disney Park I’d do Disney Land, because it’s small, you can do it in a day, and they’ll see all the iconic things and not realize you didn’t take them to Disney World.

        I did the opposite, I went to Disney World summer after 2nd grade and Disney Land my freshman year of college with some friends. Both were fun times, but I’d like to visit Disney World as an adult, just so much to see that kid brain can’t remember.

    • Ownbestenemy

      The only reason I have a soft spot for it was my childhood and my niece(who has Turners), who has weaved her way up through the organization until Gavin shut it all down.

  6. Muzzled Woodchipper

    Man, the next several days/weeks are going to suck.

    • sloopyinca

      I hear you. I’ve got an auction in 16 days and another a week later, which is gonna be brutal.

    • Nephilium

      On the bright side, spring is finally arriving, and I should be able to get out on some more real bike rides in the next couple of weeks. Based on the first ride, I haven’t lost too much in the way of conditioning from last year.

      • UnCivilServant

        I lost most of last year’s progress. I went from 4 miles endurance to 2.

        But I guess that’s not all, since I started at 1 when I started the daily walks.

      • Nephilium

        I did keep up with averaging a spin class a week during the winter months, which helps keep the conditioning in place. I’ve also dropped weight since the middle of last year (but am up from where I was at this time last year).

  7. Festus

    Does the banana car have baby tarantulas? The banana car really needs hundreds, nay thousands of baby tarantulas.

    • Rat on a train

      Someone needs to take a tally.

  8. OBJ FRANKELSON

    Well, the upshot is I have got my lawn fertilized and my ruthless chemical warfare campaign against fire ants continues apace.

    • sloopyinca

      We just started our battle yesterday. I’ll go check the myriad anthills in just a bit and see how it worked. Confidence is low.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Last year I had a 5 lbs. pound bag of stuff that I used when I saw hills. This year I got a ten-pound bag and a spreader. Preemptive attack is the order of the day.

      • Festus

        I used gasoline and Okinawa tactics but they weren’t Fire Ants. Planted a big old 6′ pry bar into the center of each nest, filled the hole with fluid and lit them off.

      • UnCivilServant

        Fight Fire (Ants) with Fire?

      • Spartacus

        That was my father’s favorite tactic. Gasoline down the mound and then light ‘er up.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        That works too, but I have found it to be a temporary and local solution. I am starting a campaign of chemical warfare that will Somme circa 1916 look like amateur hour.

      • juris imprudent

        Presuming all you really accomplish is to displace one colony from prime habitat and make it available to another.

      • Swiss Servator

        If they are poisoned and/or on fire, the only habitat they will relocate to is Hades, where they belong!

    • AlexinCT

      Boiling water is more fun!

      • Shpip

        Water’s got nothing on molten aluminum.

  9. Swiss Servator

    “It is unclear what the robbers’ motive is for targeting this particular house.”

    According to KGO, his house was torn apart, pillowcases taken as makeshift bags to store the thousands of dollars in cash — American, Korean and Chinese currency — and camera equipment that were stolen. Yeah, it is a total mystery why thieves pick a house to rob and take a whole bunch of loot.

    “KGO identified the family as Asian.”
    And that is relevant….how?

    That is some top notch journalisming there.

    • UnCivilServant

      I suspect they’re trying to pile onto the ‘anti-asian racism’ narrative rather than look at the obvious motives.

      • hayeksplosives

        It might narrow down the suspect lists. Someone knew that the cash would be there.

      • UnCivilServant

        Ever watch the show “It Takes a Thief”? It was about demonstrating the vulnerability of residences to burglary. The discussion of the factors in deciding where to hit was interesting. The amount of information that says “easy money here” does not require knowing who actually lives there. We tend to telegraph a lot about ourselves in our residences.

    • rhywun

      ASIAN HATE!

      “The population of San Francisco more than 1/3 Chinese ancestry.”

      SO WHAT!!

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      First generation Asian immigrants have a tendency to not use the banks and stash cash in the house.

      This isn’t the first time I’ve heard of them being targeted for that reason.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        ^I’ve heard that too

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        When I hear of home invasions or robberies like this, I automatically assume the target was Asian for just that reason.

      • Mad Scientist

        You know why that is? An Asian woman goes to the bank to exchange some Yen for dollars. She hands the teller the same amount as she did the previous day but gets fewer American dollars in return. She asks the teller, “Why I get less today? Before I get a hundret and now only eighty?”

        The teller tells her, “Fluctuations.”

        The lady replies, “Fluck you white people too!”

  10. Festus

    Keri Russell. Her character on “The Americans” is nature’s way of telling you to never touch pretty things. Good Heavens she has a nice bum.

    • WTF

      Her character on the Americans used to crack me up – she weighs like 115 pounds at best, yet she was constantly being shown trading punches with 200-pound men and winning the exchange. It was still a good show, though.

      • Festus

        Yeah, I can’t suspend my disbelief that much which is why I don’t watch action movies anymore. I go about 175-180 and don’t fear any woman unless she a genetic freak.

      • The Hyperbole

        Meh, I’m ~180 and women scare the shit out of me.

      • Sean
      • Festus

        I like how the kid gleefully displays the scalp of the vanquished foe. Adds a certain J’n sais quois to the whole proceeding.

      • AlexinCT

        Any man that loses the natural inclination to be weary of women is bound to someday experience the full Lorena Bobbitt effect.

      • ruodberht

        Yeah “meh” is definitely a negation operator.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        Ditto Elizabeth Keen on Blacklist. Small framed FBI profiler who regularly bests trained mercenaries and spies in fist fights.

      • AlexinCT

        I thin k the patriarchy uses this shit to convince women not to run so the guys that knock them out then abuse them have less chase work to do…

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        Seems more plausible than small framed women regularly besting trained killers.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Pfffttttt….. they show this stuff all the time because it’s a turn-on. Joss Whedon pioneered the entire genre.

      • db

        At least Whedon knew that the character had to have some sort of modification to explain away the ability–like supernatural powers in the case of Buffy, or genetic engineering in the case of River.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Doesn’t matter. Totally HAWT.

      • juris imprudent

        Anyone here up for three rounds in the cage with Amanda Nunez?

  11. Tundra

    Good morning, Sloopy!

    Thanks for the lynx.

    My buddy is waiting for a Super Duty as we speak. It has a VIN number assigned, but no delivery date. The chipset for the adaptive cruise control is the culprit.

    Everything is fucked up, though. Lead times and costs on resins have skyrocketed (with the added bonus of rationing) and I think I’ve gotten four or five price increases on steel this year already.

    Who knew that fuckery in the economy would throw things out of whack?

    I’m glad the birthday boy got a song and really glad it was that one. Personal favorite.

    Have a great day, peeps!

    • sloopyinca

      It’s a brilliant, and underplayed, song. Glad I could be of assistance, friend!

  12. Sean

    I rolled back that windows update. I can print again.

    Yay me.

    • Festus

      I had a Windows update that I just ignored. Last time I lost half my pass-words. Somehow after having to hard boot it just went away. Spamming, limber-dicked cocksuckers.

  13. AlexinCT

    Damn bush-tailed rats. Sadly, this is the best thing to happen in Chicago in some time.

    Some asshat trained the squirrel so he can avoid getting shot himself?

    • sloopyinca

      It’s Chicago. He runs a 1 in 4 chance of getting shot anyway.

      • AlexinCT

        The asshat or the squirrel?

      • Swiss Servator

        Not in that neighborhood – it might run into a “Hate Has No Home Here” sign or such, but not get shot.

      • Festus

        He’ll be captured by some Karen and turned into Animal Control for his own good. Everybody wins!

  14. Tundra

    Not sure if this was discussed yesterday.

    At least 10 dead after shooting inside a King Soopers in Boulder

    Pretty fucked up. I’m not gonna speculate on the coincidence of the AR-15 ban In Boulder being overturned just a few days ago.

    Because that would be irresponsible and paranoid.

    • UnCivilServant

      I’m to the point where I just assume someone is egging on potential shooters in these situations.

      • rhywun

        I just assume that America is full of crazy people off their meds.

      • UnCivilServant

        They’re not off their meds, they don’t know they’re crazy.

    • Muzzled Woodchipper

      This is why the next few days/weeks are going to suck.

      It’s going to be a barrage of gun grabbing efforts, stepped up to eleventy.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        Yep. I’m reading now that he wore armor and used an AR-15. 48 hour rule and all that…but the narrative being pushed matters more than whatever the facts turn out to be.

        I ordered some more mags this morning just in case. As bad as it’s been, ammo and firearms are about to become impossible to find regardless of legislative outcomes.

      • DEG

        I’ve been trying to get some new Tavors before they get banned. One local gun store can’t get them at all, another says they’re on back order from the distributor.

        I have some bids in at the Amoskeag Auction. There are two pieces I really want to add to my collection. I will have to rethink my maximum bid given current conditions affecting prices.

    • sloopyinca

      I went out of my way to avoid that story and focus on mostly lighter news today. I assumed it would come up in the comments.

      • robc

        I was going to make an “It was actually 8 dead”, but I figured a 5th down joke might not be appropriate in this situation.

      • Pine_Tree

        Appropriate or not, I think there’s also a grand total of 2 of us who would get it.

    • Festus

      *Count Von Count voice* “Ten! Ten bodies to stand atop! Ah-ah-ah- ahh!!”

      • Festus

        Not meaning to be so grim but you know its coming. Hey, whatever happened with that Vegas guy? TMITE

      • AlexinCT

        If they find out he killed people because he thought they were racist, they will tell a false narrative then bury the story ASAP. Like they did with Vegas and other such incidents which would actually make the case that the problem is nut jobs and today’s society where victimhood pays. so everyone gets mad and considers themselves a victim regardless of how dumb their shit is…

      • Festus

        That’s the salient point. Most everyone whines and whinges about their situation. Me? I know exactly where I went wrong. My best thinking at the time has brought me to this point in my life. Some stuff you can’t take back and there really aren’t any do-overs. Fuck it. Muddle on as best you can, it’s not like there’s a trophy at the end.

    • bacon-magic

      was fatally blasted by the shooter

      Who’s writing this, a Call of Duty fan?

    • Muzzled Woodchipper

      One witness reported a person wearing tactical gear and holding an “AR-15 style weapon” at the scene, the station reported.

      This is the sole mention of any specific weapon in the article, and it serves zero function in the overall piece.

      A witness reported a man with an AR15 and some tactical gear at the scene.

      Nothing is illuminated. That tidbit sheds no light on the story. It fact, it makes the event even more cloudy.

      Was it the shooter? Was it a rando? Or was it one of the many dozens cops on the scene with an AR15 and tactical gear as shown in various pics in the article?

      I’m guessing the latter. Were it the shooter, it would be plastered everywhere. “Man in tactical garb uses deadly military-style assault rifle to mow down 10 innocents in a grocery store just 8 blocks away from an Asian market.”

      I mean, maybe the media has learned something and decided to withhold the weapon used out of caution, but that’s just not how the media works. When they withhold information, there’s a reason they don’t want you to know that information.

      The cops and media know exactly what weapon or weapons were used. There are shell casings everywhere, inside the store and outside. Dozens, if not hundreds, of witnesses. Cameras. The whole shebang.

      In several articles I’ve seen hints, but no one comes out and says it.

      CNN even uses a handy “anonymous” LE source: “One senior law enforcement source told CNN the weapon used in the shooting was an AR-15-style rifle.”

      ABC notes: “[T]he police department received 911 calls of shots fired and of a “possible person with a patrol rifle.”

      Every mention of a weapon in every article I’ve read on it is speculative, except the one that comes from an anonymous source. I wouldn’t discount the possibility of an AR15 being used, but news reports the day after not having it nailed down says to me it wasn’t an AR15, or it would be plastered everywhere. The police absolutely know, and surely the media does too. And there’s no good reason to withhold that information anyways.

      • UnCivilServant

        He was carrying a shitton of flintlock pistols?

      • l0b0t

        I’ll call shenanigans on whomever called 911 to report a “possible person with a patrol rifle.”

        I have never, ever, in all my years heard any human other than a cop utter the phrase “patrol rifle

        This will, IMO, turn out to be like the “anonymous source close to the Capitol Police Department” who said that cop was bludgeoned to death with a fire extinguisher.

      • UnCivilServant

        yeah, that’s cop jargon, not something normal people would say.

  15. robc

    Sloopy did okay on the baseball birthdays, getting Scott and May.

    That he missed, at the top: Mark Buehrle with 59.2 WAR is the only HoF candidate on the list. He got 11% of the vote in his first year. I could see him getting in in his last year or topping out at 30%. Neither would be wrong.

    Below him are Mike Smith, George Scott, Johnny Logan, Gavvy Cravath, Lee May, and Ray Kremer all with over 25 WAR.

    Pena Jr was replacement level, ended at -0.9 WAR. Remlinger was 10 WAR, not as good as those other guys, but that will make you a bunch of money these days, over $18MM in Mike’s case.

    • Agent Cooper

      Was Buehrle the best fielding pitcher of all time?

      • robc

        Probably not.

        I found a couple of different lists. Greg Maddux is consistently #1. Kenny Rogers is usually #2. They are probably the best.

        One complete list I saw started #1 Maddux, Buehrle was #44, and dfl at #520 was Randy Johnson. Not sure what minimum innings requirement was, but of the top 520 pitchers ever, Johnson was the worst fielder…totally reasonable.

        here was top 10:
        1 Greg Maddux 94.10
        2 Kenny Rogers 57.39
        3 Jim Kaat 55.69
        4 Carl Mays 49.95
        5 Freddie Fitzsimmons 47.36
        6 Rick Reuschel 44.21
        7 Phil Niekro 44.07
        8 Tommy John 42.06
        9 Bob Lemon 39.69
        10 Burleigh Grimes 39.66

      • Festus

        Niekro I can see. He at least had time to get into fielding stance.

    • Jerms

      Buehrle not a hall of famer in my mind. Was never even one of the top 3 pitchers in the AL at any point in his career

      • robc

        His career most similar list doesn’t scream HOF:

        Milt Pappas (914.4)
        Jesse Haines (906.5) *
        David Wells (902.9)
        Orel Hershiser (902.0)
        Bob Welch (894.2)
        John Lackey (892.9)
        Catfish Hunter (891.0) *
        Kevin Brown (891.0)
        Rick Reuschel (890.5)
        Jim Perry (887.0)

        * indicates member of HoF.

    • ttyrant

      Buehrle is a freaking legend.

  16. robc

    On a slightly related to news story, I noticed the major grocery chains in the Fort Collins area are Safeways and King Soopers. King Sooper sounds cheap, but maybe its just the name. Anyone want to make analogies with east coast groceries so I know what to expect when we move?

    • UnCivilServant

      “East Coast” includes several grocery regions. Which sub-region?

      • robc

        I have lived in a number. Mostly midwest and southeast. I am using “east coast” loosely there.

        Are they comparable to Kroger or Harris Teeter or Publix or Piggly Wiggly or Winn-Dixie or IGA or etc?

      • Chipwooder

        Are there still Winn-Dixies? I haven’t seen one in a very long time.

      • Tres Cool

        Kroger Corp. owns King Sooper under their “family of businesses” which includes Kroger’s, Fry’s, Harris Teeter, et al.

      • robc

        Yeah, HT is clearly Kroger in disguise. Sometimes Kroger brand items even appear on the shelf.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        First off, Publix shouldn’t be on your list.

        There is no grocery chain in the world that comes even close to the glory that is Publix. It’s where “Shopping is a pleasure.”

      • Agent Cooper

        Do you even Pavilions bro?

      • juris imprudent

        You’ve never been to a Wegman’s, have you?

      • UnCivilServant

        I grew up in Wegmans territory.

        The first time I walked into a Kroger’s my thought was “This looks like a Wegmans” so they’re very comperable both in appearance and market demographics.

        The first time I walked into a Publix, my thought was “someone’s going to yell at me that I don’t belong here.”

      • DEG

        The Wegman’s that came in not far from where I grew up went downhill except for the booze shop.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Gelson’s! ❤️??? ?

      • robc

        Publix is nice but expensive.

        Lowes* here in SC is nice too, plus they have the bar in the store, so you can order a pint and shop while drinking it. Or you could pre-covid, now you have to drink in the bar area. I guess in order to stay masked while shopping.

        *apparently originated as same as the hardware store. They split the grocery and hardware apart decades ago and are two separate companies.

      • Chipwooder

        Several of my relatives work for Publix and they get very indignant when I tell them Publix is great but too expensive for me to shop there regularly. “But if you focus on the BOGOs it’s not expensive at all!”

      • robc

        Harris Teeter and Lowes are my regulars. Then Publix for certain items.

      • Swiss Servator

        Mariano’s laughs at you.

      • l0b0t

        I am a forever fan of Publix. From an early high school job where the manager would start each day with a prayer circle and we were closed on Sunday, to the fact that only employees can purchase shares in the company, I love that store. Best damn store-bought fried chicken on Earth comes from the Publix deli, ditto their pimento cheese. There are certainly better grocers (Fairway and Pavilions come immediately to mind) but Publix is great across the board, at every location to which I’ve been.

      • UnCivilServant

        I was about to ask “so why is the atmosphere so unwelcoming?”

        But that’s probably on me. I remember not even being able to bring myself to go into Hannafords for years because I kept feeling I was not their target demographic despite being precisely their target demographic.

        I think I’m just uncomfortable in new stores. I think I was able to shop at Krogers only because of the resemblance to Wegmans.

      • Tulip

        I’m in the mid Atlantic area. We have Giant, Safeway, Harris Teeter, Food Lion, Wegmans and a few smaller/specialty chains like La Grande Market and H-mart. Giant is essentially Kroger I think. There’s one more I can’t remember, as well.

      • db

        Giant Eagle hasn’t made it into northern VA yet? I know they have pushed from the ‘burgh into Ohio and WV, and I thought, maybe MD too.

      • Tulip

        I think it’s around, just not where I am

      • Tulip

        As in where I actually shop. Although, I don’t go to food lion either

      • DEG

        Even parts of the Mid-Atlantic vary. In the part of PA where I grew up, Weis, Acme, Redners, and maybe IGA. Later Giant and Wegmans came in, and Acme and IGA went away.

        New Jersey has a different blend. I can’t remember all the ones anymore.

      • Chipwooder

        Tonio and maybe a few others will know where I’m coming from here – I miss Ukrop’s.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        I’ve been to Ukrops many times in Richmond. Pretty good place.

        I do miss Farm Fresh in Norfolk/VA Beach. The one closest to us had an outstanding bakery and deli. The bakery wasn’t as good as Naa’s, but better than any other place I’ve been. Nothing can compete with Naa’s.

        They also installed a giant walk-in beer cooler. I remember taking my time in there during my early 20s on those hot 95+ degree summer days.

      • Chipwooder

        It was. They sold the business years ago. Now they just sell their prepared foods/baked goods in other supermarkets.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        Well damn. That’s disappointing.

      • Chipwooder

        Sure was. The brothers who were the sons of the founder got old and wanted to retire, and their kids had no interest in running a chain of supermarkets, so they sold.

    • AlexinCT

      There is no way this asshole gets a fair trial in this country at this point.

    • Swiss Servator

      I suspect rioting regardless of any outcome.

      • Tres Cool

        Those kicks and falt-screens wont steal themselves.

        “Its a lootin’ annie!”

      • Festus

        I read that as “fart screens.”

  17. AlexinCT

    How soon will the fucking wokester top men decide that things like this require them to use deadly force to properly condition people…

    • juris imprudent

      Fortunately, that soy heavy diet does damp down the testosterone of woke top.men (no caps – that would be too aggressive).

  18. db

    I didn’t get to chime in on the thread from last night about returning to a past time in one’s life.

    It’s a hard question, and the answer depends on the purpose and the capabilities.

    If the purpose is simply to relive the best times, I’d say I’d go back 2-5 years.

    If the purpose is to rectify past mistakes, I could go all the way back to high school, but then my subsequent life might look very different. I can think of a couple of things that, had I done them differently at that point in life, might make my life completely unrecognizeable to me now.

    If the purpose is to go back to some point of good health while retaining wisdom and knowledge, I’d probably go back to my very early 30s.

    But if I can take all the specific knowledge I have now and deliver it to myself, or my loved ones, at a time in the past, I’d do two things (which are obvious to just about everyone): I’d make a list of all major market moves and trends, as well as specific stocks and other investments, and deliver them to my Dad. He might have had some sort of an ethical problem with using future information like that, so I’d also rent and fund in perpetuity a safe deposit box with copies of all that information in my name, and leave instructions for my younger self to be given access to it when I turned 16.

    • Tundra

      I missed the thread, too.

      i wouldn’t go back. I’m in better shape today than when I was in my 30’s. I make more money and I am hopefully a little wiser. I’m enjoying having adult children and watching them pursue cool shit.

      • db

        There are only two major mistakes I have made that I would want to correct, but overall, I’m in a great situation right now. The things I would fix would be in relation to how I treated others but in general, I wouldn’t make any major changes that would have major impacts on my life now.

        Unless I could have done something to be rivaling Elon Musk in his space quest. That might be worth it.

    • robc

      I think about it sometimes…fixing any of the mistakes in my past lead to a different life. And I am happy where I am, so I don’t want to fix anything.

      There is an idea that comes to me from CS Lewis, I think it appears in both Narnia* and the Space trilogy* and maybe in his essays too. When we reject the good, God instead does great.

      That can be abused, obviously, but the idea has some merit.

      *Prince Caspian and Perelandra, I think.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Make me fourteen again with my knowledge and I’m going to terrorize the neighborhood. All the burgeoning testosterone with the mental skills to satisfy it.

      And I’d be rich, but whatever…

      • robc

        I really want to punch 18 year old me in the face, but honestly, not realizing the smokin’ hot girl was hitting on me was probably good in the long run.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Wise to enough to hit it and quit it. That’s the brass ring right there..

      • db

        There are a few incidents like that–for instance, in my first semester in college, the really attractive instructor in her late 40s who kept hitting on me and saying I should come to her office hours all the time, even when I didn’t have questions. I had no idea until I thought back on it years later. That one would have been relatively harmless and a lot of fun. There are others that would have been life changing, and probably not in good ways, so it’s probably for the best that I misinterpreted so many opportunities.

      • Pine_Tree

        (Sigh) I refrained from commenting on that thread because that was basically my answer.

        (Sigh again)

      • robc

        The ratio was bad enough without blowing the opportunities that still existed.

      • juris imprudent

        not realizing the smokin’ hot girl was hitting on me

        #me too

      • DEG

        not realizing the smokin’ hot girl was hitting on me

        Story of my life.

      • Festus

        That raging hard-on might also get to put to good use. “Hey Stacy’s Mom… How you doin”‘

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Like I said, the neighborhood would be in serious disarray once I was done.

    • AlexinCT

      Was the premise that you get to go back or repeat today? Going back might make me think about this, but starting fresh today, I pass on ASAP. The world today is a shitshow heading for Fermi’s paradox.

  19. Rebel Scum

    Hurry up and fix this so I can get a damn PS5.

    I’m still rocking a PS3. But I haven’t played a game on it in years, just use it to stream.

    • Nephilium

      The Switch is the first console I’ve had since the original Playstation. That also pretty well coincides with when I was building my own gaming PC’s.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’ve been disappointed in the lack of switch content. I keep going through the library and not finding anything else I want to play. (Anything that’s borderline ends up losing because of the price tag)

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        We got a Switch for the kids a few months ago. Really disappointed that Nintendo still uses cartridges and tiny ones at that. The 2 year old figured out how to take them out of the Switch and then promptly loses them.

      • UnCivilServant

        I like the cartridges.

        And why is the machine in reach of a toddler?

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        What isn’t in reach of a toddler?

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        Heh, I’ve watched this one push the dining room table over to a shelf. Then push a dining room chair over to the table. Then push a kid’s chair over to the adult chair. Then climbs kid chair->dining room chair->table to reach what he wants

      • UnCivilServant

        I notice that operation gave you ample time to intervene.

        That’s on you m8

      • Festus

        “Cupboard drawers are the natural ladder for the toddler. Watch as she pulls them out in increments to defeat her Parents’ efforts to keep the fledgling grounded and safe! Soon, she will be atop the refrigerator and from there able to find where the chocolate Ex-Lax is stored…” Read it in Attenborough’s voice and reverse the sexes. “Put a band-aid on my bum, Mommy!”

      • Nephilium

        Most of my purchases have been digital and stored on an expansion SD card, but you could go with internal storage (although there’s not a lot of space there).

      • UnCivilServant

        Quarter terabyte cost me $50.

        I’m not sure if there’s even any data on it yet. Maybe my save games.

      • Nephilium

        There’s a setting that you can select to prefer to save downloaded games to the SD card. I’ve got the $20/year online services (mainly for Tetris 99) which backs up save games to the cloud.

      • UnCivilServant

        Cloud saves defeat the purpose of the console – which is gaming when the networked infrastructure is unavailable.

      • Nephilium

        UCS:

        Backed up to the cloud being the operative phrase. It still keeps the local copies (unless you do the full delete on the software, Archive IIRC). So if there’s a critical hardware failure, the save games will be available for download to a new/repaired machine. I suppose it may also be useful in houses with more then one Switch.

      • UnCivilServant

        I have an innate and visceral distrust of anything cloud-based. Recent behaviour by cloud providers has only increased this instinct. So my reaction is to recoil from it, even with just backups of savegames on unmodded titles.

      • kbolino

        One of my annoyances, while dipping my toes into console peasantry, is that Nintendo refuses to sell their digital copies at reasonable prices. I get it, they want to maintain shelf space in retail stores, the production of physical copies has nontrivial costs, and undercutting their physical sales with digital would cause retailers to yank the shelf space. But it’s damn annoying to have to pay full price years after release for the digital copy when you can pick up a physical copy for 25-50% less.

        When I compare my Switch library to my Steam library, I’m not sure I can convince myself that the Switch was worth it.

      • UnCivilServant

        After a certain number of years, the price should get reduced. It’s almost as if they don’t want my money. (A lower price can make me take a risk on a marginally interesting title)

      • kbolino

        There’s basically four reasons people play Nintendo consoles: Mario, Zelda, Smash, Pokemon (not necessarily in that order). There are other exclusives (Xenoblade/Xenogears, Metroid, Fire Emblem, etc.) but they don’t sell as well. When your console has 4 games that matter you’re not going to discount those much during the life of that generation. Also, they don’t need you to experiment, that’s what they pay their unusually large for the industry QA/QC department to do (and it shows).

        That having been said, it is a culture/wallet shock.

      • Nephilium

        I get a lot less games for the Switch, but I do play it while traveling, for which I give some leeway. Nintendo’s pricing has always been an annoyance as any discounts on their first party games is rare. It means a lot less impulse purchases, as more just waiting to see if something on my wishlist happens to be on sale that week.

  20. Rebel Scum

    A New York City police officer who’s been arrested twice for alleged brutality was arrested again Sunday after police on Long Island say he fired a pistol into the Atlantic Ocean while off duty.

    You are doing fishing wrong.

    • Spartacus

      That’s right–real fishermen use explosives.

    • DEG

      Close enough for government work.

  21. Certified Public Asshat

    Energy that works would be screwed without the Government

    The paper, published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences on Monday, examines the value of implicit government support for U.S. coal, natural gas, gasoline, and diesel companies. In particular, it looks at the detrimental impacts those firms are able to offload onto society, specifically climate damages and public health effects from pollution. For gas and diesel, Kotchen also looked into the costs of car accident fatalities, congestion-based travel delays, and road damage from the use of heavy-duty vehicles that run on diesel. These are all what economists call externalities not priced into the use of fossil fuels.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I didn’t need to read past the first sentence to know that was going to be “Externalities Explained” in the Vox style.

      Now do pollution from solar panel manufacturing, real estate usage for solar farms, rare earth mining for windmill turbines….

      They never fail to ignore the deleterious aspects of the energy sources they prefer when discussing fossil fuels.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      And are the proposing the elimination of all heavy trucks? How exactly will food distribution work?

      “Externalities” always ignores the role of personal responsibility in consumer decisions. The bad things that go along with a product are always the fault of the manufacturer, not the person who bought it. Personal responsibility is verboten.

    • Plinker762

      So they are saying that without diesel there wouldn’t be any heavy trucks?

    • PieInTheSky

      For gas and diesel, Kotchen also looked into the costs of car accident fatalities, congestion-based travel delays, and road damage from the use of heavy-duty vehicles that run on diesel. – right because electric cars would not have these issues

      Also for MUH ROADZ how bout you have road taxes that are set to cover the road costs and are spent only on roads not something else.

    • R C Dean

      “climate damages and public health effects”

      So, model generated bullshit.

      Now do rare earth and heavy metals mining, electricity generation, and disposal of dead solar panels and batteries.

    • R C Dean

      I bet they forgot to include the positive externalities, too. Because they come in both flavors, you know.

      • juris imprudent

        What do you mean my cool consumer electronics wouldn’t exist? /progtard

  22. Rebel Scum

    The Chicago suburb’s City Council voted 8-1 to distribute $400,000 to eligible black households.

    Sounds discriminatory.

    • AlexinCT

      Were the “eligible households” members of the city council or their family/friends?

  23. Rebel Scum

    “Not today,” said Harris, who formerly represented border-adjacent California as a senator, before letting out a belly laugh. “But I have before, and I’m sure I will again.”

    ///NotTheBee

    • creech

      Was she talking about her past with Willie Brown?

      • Festus

        Yeah. That’s just bad optics right there you fucking sociopathic literal slaver. She’s the worst. More evil than Pelosi. Why would any sane person laugh about that unless you were a front-line worker dealing with it everyday? I’ll bet her pant-suits still reek of Willie Brown queefs.

      • Festus

        Ha ha ha! Child exploitation is okay when we do it!

  24. PieInTheSky

    https://www.qcovid.org/Calculation

    oxford covid risk calculator

    My results

    COVID associated death 0.0009% 1 in 111111 0.0009% 1 in 111111 1
    COVID associated hospital admission 0.0256% 1 in 3906 0.0236% 1 in 4237 1.0847

    • robc

      1 in 15625

      I doubt that is close to my highest death risk in the next 90 days.

      • Nephilium

        The people who complain that the girlfriend and I are being too risky in traveling seem to think we’re more at risk from the ‘vid then from the time driving. Most people are really bad at assessing risks.

      • Ownbestenemy

        No shit regarding how people assess risk. Same people that will scream at you with masks or large gatherings are engaging in behaviors that are far more riskier: cellphone use while driving primarily being the #1 I suspect.

        With the flying I had to do over the past year, I felt it was probably the safest and least risky way to travel in terms of COVID exposure. I don’t think I have been on a flight with over 40 people.

      • grrizzly

        You were not on the popular flights. Only JetBlue has 6 (six) non-stop flights Boston-Fort Myers tomorrow. Airbus A320, all of them are full.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      My odds are a little worse, but I assume that’s because I’m older and being young and stupid is an advantage in this scenario.

    • PieInTheSky

      in the above video if you want to see the ass shaking jump to 14:40

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Gee, I wonder if she knows that she’s got a bad case of camel toe…

      Somebody should tell her.

      • Festus

        We used to call girls that exhibited that “munchers”. They were usually but not always about a year or two younger than you.

      • Tres Cool

        “Hey lady- your ass is eating your pants”

        Sup’ Canuckian? Hows she goin’ eh

      • Festus

        Alright. Just about to eat some steak and taters. Greens too! According to the above I have about one in ten thousand chance of dying from the vid. Hell, I’ll take those odds. I’m older than many of you.

      • AlexinCT

        I already had the Kung Flu and the worst part was the coughing that wouldn’t stop and required a doctor visit for pills to stop it. I had no fever, aches, or other symptoms, and never lost smell or life. So the China Virus doesn’t scare me much.

  25. bacon-magic

    Evanston, Illinois. Another city that I hope has a live performance of Aenima enacted upon it.

    • PieInTheSky

      I can not tell if you are in favor or against Portuguese dark wave

    • db

      Flush it down

      • Festus

        I love that fucking song.

      • db

        I use it to get psyched up in the morning when I’m driving to work, sometimes. Then I use it in the afternoon driving home, to decompress.

        Back when I had to drive to work, that is.

  26. CPRM

    Is Deshaun trying to Antonio Brown his way out of Houston?

    • PieInTheSky

      Can the team cancel his contract?

      • CPRM

        No, but they can trade him, like he wants, and his no trade clause means he can pick the team they trade him to (if that team will take him)

    • Agent Cooper

      Color me skeptical. Skeezy lawyer with ties to the McNairs? Unpossible!

  27. The Late P Brooks

    I bet they forgot to include the positive externalities, too. Because they come in both flavors, you know.

    Oh, piffle. No such thing.

  28. DEG

    The chip shortage has been hurting automakers around the globe. Automakers cut back computer chip orders early last year when the pandemic caused temporary plant closures and slammed the brakes on auto sales and production. Electronics manufacturers, which enjoyed strong sales during the pandemic, happily snapped up the excess supply.

    “Pandemic” caused. Fuck. Central planning for the loss.

    He was also cited for possession of alcohol, which is banned at Ocean Beach Park, for carrying an open can of Truly Hard Seltzer, police said.

    Hard seltzer?!?!? OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!!!11111!

    The Chicago suburb’s City Council voted 8-1 to distribute $400,000 to eligible black households. Each qualifying household would receive $25,000 for home repairs or down payments on property.

    They are very generous with other people’s money.

    A bold squirrel (yes, a squirrel!) was caught on cellphone video stealing an Amazon package off of someone’s front porch in Avondale Sunday evening.

    Time for more squirrel hunting I suppose.

    Disneyland announced they will reopen on April 30, according to Forbes. But, it really is going to be a “small world after all” in the theme park as they will only open at 15 percent capacity and to California residents only.

    I see this hurting Newsom’s recall chances.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Fuck, there goes my summer vacation plans.

    • leon

      Well that was the only other place i was willing to say there was life in the universe. So sad.

      • Animal

        Plenty of biologists are dying to get a good look under the ice pack on Europa. But there are some major technological hurdles there.

      • Ownbestenemy

        /

    • AlexinCT

      The assumption that the life forms on that planet wouldn’t thrive from the flare effects shows me humanity is not ready for galactic assimilation…

      Where is our resident skinsuit lizard to opine?

  29. juris imprudent

    They aren’t all as dumb as you think they are.

  30. PieInTheSky

    “Obesity” trending opens the floodgates to a tsunami of ignorant and illogical abuse against the fat community, lacking context, nuance and humanity. Below is something I want you to understand.

    https://twitter.com/jameelajamil/status/1374047671208448005

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Let’s ignore the huge statistical correlation between obesity and a multitude of health issues.

      Meanwhile, we’ll latch onto any correlation, no matter how minor, for just about anything else.

      • PieInTheSky

        That correlation is only because doctors ignore all disease and focus on the obesity. Otherwise off course it is healthy for a human body to carry 100 extra pounds of fat. How can it be otherwise? After all human evolved to be obese.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      What’s that science thing have to say about it?

  31. PieInTheSky

    During the 3d wave of COV Bucharest has just passed the infection rate in which they are considering quarantine. Goddamnit.

    • hayeksplosives

      There was a brief window when quarantine might have worked, but that was in late 2019 in Wuhan.

      Once the virus spread outside China, No way was a quarantine going to work (thanks, chairman Xi for allowing all outgoing flights from China to continue before announcing the “discovery” of the virus).

      And yet nearly every government in the world keeps trying quarantine.

      • PieInTheSky

        but it worked in Australia and New Zeeland / lockdownfan

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        Maybe Romania could move to the middle of the Black Sea.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Just wait until the 24th wave, that one’s going to be key.

  32. The Late P Brooks

    Outrageous

    Trump has shown no courtesy to President Joe Biden since leaving the White House. To the contrary, he has repeatedly jabbed the Biden administration in the eye.
    On the phone with one of his biggest sycophants, Newsmax’s Greg Kelly, on Monday evening, Kelly speculated about Biden’s mental faculties, prompting Trump to say “there’s something” going on with Biden. Trump then questioned “whether or not he understands what he’s signing” when bills cross his desk.

    ——-

    “Trump’s unique in that he wants to make a lot of racket and garner attention after leaving the White House,” Brinkley said. “And it comes from his psychological belief that he remains the real president.”
    On the podcast with Boothe, Trump falsely said that “we won, and they took it away.”
    “He’s desperate,” Brinkley said, “to let people know ‘I haven’t thrown in the towel, I haven’t gone anywhere, keep covering me.'”
    Brinkley likened Trump to “an active political hand grenade, ready to blow up the US political system any way he can. And he’s starting by threatening Republicans who have crossed him. He’s determined to ensure that it remains the party of Trump.”

    It’s like they don’t know what to do with themselves, with Cartoon Villain out of the White House.

    They invested so much time and energy defining themselves in relation to Trump, they’re lost without him.

    • juris imprudent

      “I can’t quit you.”

      • Festus

        Pup-tent.

  33. Rebel Scum

    Money printer go “burrrr”.

    President Joe Biden’s White House team is drafting a massive $3 trillion infrastructure spending deal, according to reports, but most of the spending will be directed toward social welfare programs.

    The New York Times previewed the spending plan on Tuesday, reporting despite the president’s interest in infrastructure, it would also focus on reducing carbon emissions, addressing economic inequality, and promoting equity.

    Only $1 trillion of the proposal would be spent on actual infrastructure priorities, according to the report, such as roads, bridges, rail lines, ports, electric grid improvements, and charging stations for electric cars.

    Other priorities include investments in wind and solar power, 5G telecommunications, rural broadband, and worker training. The proposal also includes the development of one million “affordable and energy-efficient” housing units.

    Might as well spend your savings. It is going to be inflated into oblivion.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      “one million “affordable and energy-efficient” housing units.”

      So we’re going back to the Good Times type of massively concentrated low rent sky rises then? Dynamite!!!

      • Festus

        “DI-NO-MITE!” J.J. struts.

      • Swiss Servator

        *AHEM* that is Dyn-o-mite!

        Cabrini Green, here we come!

    • Chipwooder

      I’d respect Joe Biden more if he donned a purple suit and started throwing $100 bills to the crowd from a parade float while Prince songs played in the background.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Prince probably appreciated hard productive work.

      • Festus

        Sure. He probably fucked himself to death.

      • Agent Cooper

        Or paraded around hard stages in thin heels for years, jumping off speaker stacks, etc until he completely fucked up his back and hips and then took pain pills until he became addicted, and then died of a heart attack/overdose of medication?

      • Chipwooder

        How bout a spoiler alert there for crissakes!

    • PieInTheSky

      Send a million my way would you? You would not even notice in that 3 trillion

    • db

      Don’t spend it, buy land.

      • Swiss Servator

        Easiest thing to tax and confiscate, kulak.

  34. wdalasio

    For gas and diesel, Kotchen also looked into the costs of car accident fatalities, congestion-based travel delays, and road damage from the use of heavy-duty vehicles that run on diesel. These are all what economists call externalities not priced into the use of fossil fuels.

    If I’d submitted a paper in my college freshman economics class citing any of these things as externalities of fossil fuel production, not only would I have gotten an F, my professor would probably have held up my paper as a an example of what not to claim. Now this sort of crap gets published by the National Academy of Sciences.

    Idiocracy really did misdiagnose the problem. Our society isn’t growing stupid because there are more stupid people. It’s growing stupid because the ostensibly smart people are orders of magnitude dumber than their predecessors.

    • UnCivilServant

      We don’t have fewer actually smart people, they’re just bright enough to either avoid academia, or keep their heads down while getting the credential.

      • wdalasio

        I’m not completely sure. I have a theory about the democratization of higher education. We’ve “democratized” higher ed to the point where everybody has to get a degree. But, for that to work, the classes have to be held at a standard that the average student can absorb. A class that fifty years ago would have taken calculus, hell algebra, as a given, have to walk through explanations that don’t overchallenge half the class. That leaves the high-potential student undertrained relative to his abilities. Is that is still smart? Well maybe. But, it isn’t going to be expressed or evidenced the way it previously would have.

      • AlexinCT

        Because it is impossible to raise everyone to the same level as promised by the fakers, you just drag everyone down to the lowest: real world communism 101.

      • juris imprudent

        That was a sharp point in the Culture of Narcissism – that expanding education absolutely requires reducing the standards of education.

    • kbolino

      I think this analysis overemphasizes the relative importance of intelligence vs. other factors. The smartest man in the world can still be beholden to status, money, and power.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Leaving out a big one at the end there.

      • kbolino

        Pussy?

        I did not mean the list to be exhaustive, but nothing immediately grabs me as a glaring omission.

  35. Rebel Scum

    Curious, ain’t it?

    A gunman opened fire at a supermarket in Boulder, Colorado, on Monday, killing 10 people, including a police officer, before being arrested, marking the second deadly U.S. mass shooting in less than a week.

  36. The Late P Brooks

    President Joe Biden’s White House team is drafting a massive $3 trillion infrastructure spending deal, according to reports, but most of the spending will be directed toward social welfare programs.

    “See, you go in this door, which has no handles on the inside and is locked. Then a big piston pushes you down a chute into a shredder, where you are ground up alive. We call it the Miracle Cure Free Health Care Facility.”

    • PieInTheSky

      Well when the pill vaccine comes you will not have a card as you will take it in your home.

    • Nephilium

      A local brewery is offering a 10 cent pint if you show your vaccine card. Perhaps we could go to a more permanent identifying mark to make it easier for these people to get their rewards.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        666 behind the left ear would work.

    • Urthona

      I have a vaccine card, but I don’t think saving several cents at a doughnut place is really going to drag me in.

      • PieInTheSky

        Are there such things as pickle donuts in your weird ass americanese food?

      • Urthona

        I’m gonna go with no.

      • R C Dean

        If anyone would have one, it would be the Donut Bar in Tucson.

        Which has many interesting donuts, as well as booze, but I see nothing with pickles.

      • R C Dean

        Spoke too soon. They do have a bacon cheddar pickle donut.

        Damn. Wish they were close enough to hit them up for lunch.

      • Urthona

        Whatever diet that’s on is the one I need to be on.

      • Urthona

        I remember the Flying Saucer used to have pickled (flavored) popcorn which seems weird, but actually turned out to be awesome when you were drinking.

    • Festus

      And so it began…

      • Urthona

        This is going to be a boon to all Americans who can’t afford a single glazed doughnut. Why do we even need a multi-trillion dollar bailout?

  37. The Late P Brooks

    Idiocracy really did misdiagnose the problem. Our society isn’t growing stupid because there are more stupid people. It’s growing stupid because the ostensibly smart people are orders of magnitude dumber than their predecessors.

    Academia has for some time incentivized and rewarded innovatively stupid ways of looking at things.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Remove or pervert market forces and weird things start to happen.

  38. UnCivilServant

    During the Trump years, the IRS was prompt about returning me the portion of my money above what they claimed they were owed.

    Now they’re being slower than Gropey Joe.

    • PieInTheSky

      On the other hand you do get paid from other peoples money so don;t complain

      • UnCivilServant

        It’s a job. All I do is to try to keep old computers running.

      • Gender Traitor

        Don’t most (all?) people get paid from other people’s money?

        If I only got paid from my own money, I think I’d have a difficult time getting ahead.

      • UnCivilServant

        Once you get paid, it’s your money.

      • PieInTheSky

        UCS knows what he’s doing

    • Certified Public Asshat

      To be fair to the IRS (ugh) they are being asked to do a lot of work outside the scope of what they are supposed to be doing.

      • Mojeaux

        True.

        Tax day has been pushed back to May 15.

      • kbolino

        Sounds like we need a new federal unionized bureaucracy to handle the needs of the expanding federal unionized bureaucracy.

  39. AlexinCT

    Anyone else see the pattern that the people peddling things like this shit are basically saying everything that created the prosperity and soon to be gone freedom of the world we live in today basically amounts to racism? I guess we need to go back to the good old days of a society modeled on master and serfs, where all these racist things didn’t exist!

    Fuck me. How dumb do you have to be to think reliable energy – the most important component of any modern society – is something racist?

    • wdalasio

      Why dumb and not evil? You don’t think Warren wouldn’t cream her panties over the idea of being a feudal mistress?

      • AlexinCT

        Touché mon frère!

      • juris imprudent

        Bucket piss-boy? Oh, no, you’re going to open your mouth for me.

    • Tulip

      Dbleagle – does anyone try to cook on lava in Hawaii?

  40. The Late P Brooks

    A gunman opened fire at a supermarket in Boulder, Colorado, on Monday, killing 10 people, including a police officer, before being arrested, marking the second deadly U.S. mass shooting in less than a week.

    Was he wearing a mask?

    • Tres Cool

      It was a (mostly) peaceful protest.

    • Chipwooder

      He wasn’t even wearing pants

      • B.P.

        As I was riding home yesterday, local (Denver) radio speculated that he was stripped down by the police after they shot him to make sure he wasn’t carrying any concealed weapons, etc. He was reportedly wearing tactical gear. The Boulder PD press conference just ended on local TV, and I’m sure the name of the suspect alone will have everyone scrambling to attack or defend narratives without any additional info: Ahmad Alissa.

      • juris imprudent

        The store didn’t carry halal!

      • CPRM

        They carried the Skittles that still used non-halal gelatin. Good on him, those are like 5 years old, they could kill someone!

    • Mojeaux

      Heh, the two girls with shit-eating grins behind them.

    • UnCivilServant

      Pie is trolling a twitter account called “hot country dudes”. Do you have an announcement to make?

      • Mojeaux

        “trawling”

        /pedant

      • UnCivilServant

        Are you making fun of my accent?

      • Mojeaux

        I am not making fun of you at all. I am “well ackshually”ing you because the misuse of troll/trawl is one of my pet peeves.

      • PieInTheSky

        I am not I am trolling as I often do the WhoresofYore account which links such things

      • Festus

        Spicy!

      • UnCivilServant

        So what you’re saying is you’re loneley and not picky anymore?

        /Cathy Newman

    • Tulip

      You ok Pie?

      • PieInTheSky

        Depends. I would say overall not really. But I suppose it could be worse.

  41. Rebel Scum

    That worked out well.

    Customers who shop at Colorado’s 148 King Soopers and City Market stores are being asked to “no longer openly carry firearms” into the stores, echoing a move made by retail rival Walmart a day earlier.

    In its announcement, Cincinnati-based Kroger, the parent company of King Soopers and City Market, said its request applies to anybody who shops in its stores with the exception of law enforcement officers.

    “Our No. 1 priority is the safety of our associates and customers,” Kelli McGannon, a King Soopers spokeswoman, said Wednesday.

    • kbolino

      Our job is to coddle our customers and keep them spending; it’s the government’s job to deal with the unintended consequences.

  42. The Late P Brooks

    DEMOCRACY!

    The prospect of a floor vote to overturn a contested congressional race in Iowa has suddenly become a real dilemma for House Democrats’ most vulnerable members.

    Moderate Democrats are privately squirming over the possibility that they could be forced to choose a winner in the race for Iowa’s 2nd district, where the GOP candidate, now-Rep. Mariannette Miller-Meeks, won by just six votes — the smallest margin of any candidate in decades. Her opponent, Rita Hart, declined to appeal through state channels and instead took her challenge directly to the Democratic-run House.

    A handful of nervous Democrats have spoken up publicly as the House Administration Committee reviews the case. But behind the scenes, more moderates are voicing concern about the dynamics of possibly unseating a GOP lawmaker — particularly after they hammered Republicans for trying to do just that to President Joe Biden, which led to a deadly insurrection in the U.S. Capitol.

    If she had wanted to win the election, she should have won by a bigger margin.

    • CPRM

      which led to a deadly insurrection in the U.S. Capitol.

      I missed the part where we are now living under a insurrectionist government. Well, I mean that’s what Q-Anon people think…this writer supports Q-Anon and fucks goats?

  43. The Late P Brooks

    “Our No. 1 priority is the safety of our associates and customers,” Kelli McGannon, a King Soopers spokeswoman, said Wednesday.

    Nobody will shoot you if you’re defenseless. It wouldn’t be cricket.

    • Surly Knott

      I think it would be rugby, yes?

  44. Sean

    https://www.pennlive.com/news/2021/03/former-pa-child-services-caseworker-gets-probation-for-coercing-a-client-into-sex-work.html

    Mar. 23—A former Delaware County child services caseworker was sentenced Monday to six years of probation for coercing one of her clients to join a ring of sex workers with the promise of expediting her child custody case.

    Candace Talley, 28, of Sicklerville, N.J., apologized to County Judge John Capuzzi and characterized her actions as a terrible mistake.

    6 years probation seems too lenient, imo.

    • PieInTheSky

      A man would have gotten off even lighter. I call sexism.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      “her clients”

      Look no further, it this etc.

    • kbolino

      George Costanza looms large.

    • db

      A “mistake?” That’s not a mistake, and characterizing it like that, in a just world, would increase the punishment. This case worker just got probation for, essentially, selling her influence in an official state process to a person dependent on her services.

      This should be an official corruption case all over the news.

  45. The Late P Brooks

    6 years probation seems too lenient, imo.

    She apologized! Why must you torment her?

  46. Sean

    https://pittsburgh.cbslocal.com/2021/03/22/texas-roadhouse-ceo-kent-taylor-dies-amid-covid-19-struggle/

    Kent Taylor, founder and CEO of the Texas Roadhouse restaurant chain, has died. He was 65. Taylor’s family and the company say Taylor took his own life after suffering from symptoms related to COVID-19, including severe tinnitus.

    Tinnitus is a common condition involving ringing or or other noises in one or both ears. Experts say the coronavirus can exacerbate tinnitus problems.

    Well, that’s messed up.

    • Tres Cool

      “Twat? I cunt hear you! Ive got a farggin’ ear infucktion”

      too soon?

    • Urthona

      As a Texan I always hated that place’s interpretation of Texas.

      I’m glad he’s dead.

      Not really.

    • R C Dean

      Mrs. Dean said something about how she couldn’t understand it.

      I told her, as someone with permanent tinnitus, thjat severe tinnitus would be comparable to someone screaming in your ear 24/7.

      I think she got it.

      • UnCivilServant

        I have occassional very brief spells of tinnitus (almost always the left ear). I am glad that they end. The thought of having it 24/7 feels maddening.

    • straffinrun

      I thought I had tinnitus. Turns out it was the wife.

      (Why did auto fill know I was gonna say “wife”? Sexist)

      • Urthona

        When autocorrect is predicting your jokes you know you’re on the cutting edge.

      • straffinrun

        I’ve failed the Turing test repeatedly.

    • Chipwooder

      I have tinnitus and it sucks. I can’t imagine offing myself because of it, though. On the other hand, mine is somewhat mild – it’s not constant, though it is frequent, and generally if I have enough white noise in the background then I don’t really notice it.

      Definitely can be a major annoyance when you’re trying to go to sleep, that’s for sure.

      • R C Dean

        Mine is permanent (although somewhat variable), and is very comparable to the noise of loudish crickets or locusts. My hearing aids have a “tinnitus” setting, which feeds white noise at various pitches into my remaining ear, on the theory that tinnitus is (partly?) caused by the auditory nerves no longer getting high frequency signals from the ear and trying to backfill for them. I can’t use it when Mrs. Dean is sitting next to me, because she can hear it and it drives her nuts.

      • Chipwooder

        Mine is also permanent. I’ve had it for many years. I’ve always thought the most accurate description of mine is that it sounds like a tuning fork.

      • Mojeaux

        I got that from aspirin and ibuprofen overuse. It’s a well-know side effect.

      • PieInTheSky

        I thought ibuprofen was hangover medicine… Or that is what I use it for

    • CPRM

      I’ve had tinnitus since I was a kid. Real silence would be weird for me now. But missing a particular med leads to the ringing and wooshing becoming almost debilitating. A few times I thought how nice it would be if death would stop it, but I quickly thought how stupid that idea was. Alcohol drowns it out, get r done.

  47. The Late P Brooks

    Impartial, evenhanded justice

    A federal judge on Monday blasted the West Virginia man accused of attacking Capitol Police Officer Brian Sicknick with bear spray during the Jan. 6 siege, calling his actions “an assault on our nation.”

    “I’m very aware that my rulings affect the person in front of me and everyone who loves them,” Magistrate Judge Michael John Aloi said as he ordered George Tanios to be detained pending trial. “It is hard for me to look at this as anything other than an assault on this nation’s heart.”

    “My obligation is to the safety of our community, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything play out in a way that was more dangerous to our community and I have no question that, in your own way, Mr. Tanios, you chose to be part of that,” the judge added.

    ——-

    “Why would you not just turn the other way and go home? … The fact that all of them weren’t thinking about that is just frightening to me. And that was a choice. Choices all along the way,” Aloi said Monday. He added that the Jan. 6 riot was the result of a culture “radicalized by hate” and a refusal to accept the results of the 2020 election.

    “It’s hard for me to look at this as anything other than an assault on our nation’s honor and everything that’s important to us as a people. I don’t know if that represents who you are Mr. Tanios. I don’t know that it represented a lot of people that day,” he added.

    “We all know you’re guilty. Why are you wasting the Court’s valuable time?”

    • Sean

      “Community safety.” My ass.

      • kbolino

        For a cosmopolitan like a federal judge, his community is the (high status parts of) the world.

    • kbolino

      How far we’ve come from “the business of the American people is business” to bear-spraying a Capitol Police officer is “an assault on the nation’s heart”.

      They explicitly view the government, its symbols, its buildings, and its location as the most important thing in this country.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Read the various condemnations being pushed out, sacred this and sacred that…it’s a fucking religion and people need to believe in something.

      • R C Dean

        Nothing outside the State, nothing against the State, everything for the State?

      • kbolino

        As has often been said, Mussolini won the war. He might not be so happy about the particulars of the outcome as concerns his own head and its connection to his neck, but his ideas are de rigeur now.

    • Agent Cooper

      ““I’m very aware that my rulings affect the person in front of me and everyone who loves them,” Magistrate Judge Michael John Aloi said as he ordered George Tanios to be detained pending trial. “It is hard for me to look at this as anything other than an assault on this nation’s heart.”

      I’ve had enough Drama Queen for one day. JFC.

    • Chipwooder

      What a hysterical bitch

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      You might think he was running for office.

      What an asshole.

  48. Festus

    Good night/day Glibs. Best wishes to every last man-jack and lass that comments here. Special wishes go out to the Beekeeper. He’s in my thoughts. I must go down before I fall down.

    • Urthona

      Are you located in India or something?

      • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

        In the central interior of British Columbia. Which, to most Americans trying to imagine it, might as well be India.

  49. The Late P Brooks

    Taylor took his own life after suffering from symptoms related to COVID-19

    He was as good as dead, anyway. Nobody survives the snifflecooties.

  50. PieInTheSky

    Glib question: duck breast medium rare or confit duck leg which do you prefer?

    • Chipwooder

      Medium rare is a little undercooked for my tastes. I’ve never had duck confit.

    • straffinrun

      Which is less oily?

      • PieInTheSky

        oh shush you don’t get duck in Nipponia

      • Gustave Lytton

        More of a fan of tsuru nigiri?

    • Tulip

      Duck breast medium rare, but I wouldn’t turn down confit duck leg ever.

      • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

        ^^THIS.

  51. KromulentKristen

    I signed into work today to find the Serbia section of our web site had disappeared. Fun times.

    • Urthona

      Did you check to see if the Bosnia section took it out?

      • KromulentKristen

        Well, the webmaster from Bosnia was kind of a bitch, so you never know

    • UnCivilServant

      Did it further balkinize?

    • PieInTheSky

      Serbia is rather irrelevant tbh

  52. Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

    On the local news this morning local politicians are proposing to fight anti-Asian violence with diversity, equity and inclusion training for police. That makes about as much sense as blaming it on climate change.

  53. The Late P Brooks

    Have we learned nothing?

    A century later, and a year into the COVID-19 pandemic, it is understandable that people now are all too eager to return to their old lives. The end of this pandemic inevitably will come, as it has with every previous one humankind has experienced.

    If we have anything to learn from the history of the 1918 influenza pandemic, as well as our experience thus far with COVID-19, however, it is that a premature return to pre-pandemic life risks more cases and more deaths.

    And today’s Americans have significant advantages over those of a century ago. We have a much better understanding of virology and epidemiology. We know that social distancing and masking work to help save lives. Most critically, we have multiple safe and effective vaccines that are being deployed, with the pace of vaccinations increasingly weekly.

    Sticking with all these coronavirus-fighting factors or easing off on them could mean the difference between a new disease surge and a quicker end to the pandemic. COVID-19 is much more transmissible than influenza, and several troubling SARS-CoV-2 variants are already spreading around the globe. The deadly third wave of influenza in 1919 shows what can happen when people prematurely relax their guard.

    The answer is masks today, masks tomorrow, masks forever.

    We can defeat Death, if we just listen to the experts. Do as you’re told. Quality of life is pernicious white supremacist nonsense.

    • The Other Kevin

      COVID isn’t the same as the flu! Except when it servers our purposes, then it’s EXACTLY like the flu!

    • Chipwooder

      We know that social distancing and masking work to help save lives.

      We do? Got any evidence to cite?

      • Akira

        We do? Got any evidence to cite?

        People always cite studies showing that surgical or N95 masks will reduce infections in certain healthcare settings, which totally proves that an ill-fitting square of T-shirt material will achieve the same result. Also, you have to ignore the multitude of other studies showing no improvement at all by wearing masks. Finally, don’t ask for any empirical evidence from the past year that proves that mask mandates actually improve public health outcomes.

      • R C Dean

        People always cite studies showing that surgical or N95 masks will reduce infections in certain healthcare settings

        I’m not aware of any study showing surgical masks reduce infections. The one study I am aware of (which is pretty inapplicable to a respiratory disease) shows no reduction in surgical site infections if the operating team wears surgical masks.

        N95s, fitted and used correctly (which will not happen in the genpop)? You bet, at least as part of a full “contact precautions” program. Our COVID unit staff, which used full precautions, had an infection rate comparable to (perhaps slightly above) the community infection rate.

        Of course, part of that program was massive use of “negative pressure” – air was exhausted from patient rooms (and thus the whole unit) at a pretty high rate. When the doors would open to a negative pressure unit, the airflow was . . . impressive.

        So, isolating the N95s from the whole program would take some work.

    • R C Dean

      If we have anything to learn from the history of the 1918 influenza pandemic, as well as our experience thus far with COVID-19, however, it is that a premature return to pre-pandemic life risks more cases and more deaths.

      *compares results of states and countries with and without masking/lockdown mandates*

      Pretty sure our experience demonstrates no such thing.

      We have a much better understanding of virology and epidemiology.

      Most of which we seem to have disregarded.

      • kbolino

        It’s been a year (really, a year and a half if we start from patient zero). When exactly is it no longer “premature”? And if we define mass vaccination as the end goal, that has absolutely zero resemblance to 1918 (where variolation/vaccination was known but took decades to develop). I doubt anyone was living in permanent pandemic mode from 1918 to 1945 (other events, if nothing else, having taken precedent).

      • Mojeaux

        I can’t remember the date, but I edited the first medical report of the wuflu in Missouri. That’s my heroic contribution. I demand recognition for my sacrifice.

      • CPRM

        (other events, if nothing else, having taken precedent).

        Like the rise of communism saving millions from the depravity of capitalism and bourgeoisie viruses.

    • Fatty Bolger

      Just watched a video of a guy walking around Clearwater Beach last week, and it was wonderful. Tons of people out having fun, very few masks, almost back to normal.

      • Urthona

        I was in Central Florida last week, and it was kinda the same way as everywhere. But the beaches are nuts.

      • grrizzly

        People in Florida and Massachusetts are like totally different species. Not the same way as everywhere. On Sunday I returned from a week in Southwest Florida.

  54. Chipwooder

    Well, you probably aren’t going to hear too much more about the shooter in Boulder now:

    Dillon Thomas
    @DillonMThomas
    —BOULDER SHOOTING SUSPECT ID—

    BREAKING:

    Ahmad Al-Issa, 21, from Arvada is suspected of killing 10 people in a grocery store in #Boulder on Monday. He is hospitalized, but will be transferred to jail soon.

    • Urthona

      Also, his social media includes far left rants against Trump and how Muslims are being discriminated against.

      Fine. Nice short news cycle.

      • RBS

        Off to the memory hole.

      • RBS

        Of course, white supremacy is still to blame.

    • CPRM

      Fucking White Supremacist Amish!

  55. The Late P Brooks

    Got any evidence to cite?

    It’s obvious. Common knowledge. If you put a scrap of cloth in front of your nose nothing bad can get past. How could it?

    • CPRM

      All the ‘There was this ONE TIME I didn’t wear a mask, then I got Covid!’ articles remind me of the people who blame the meal they had 2hrs ago for food poisoning, when it doesn’t even work that fast.

      • R C Dean

        ‘There was this ONE TIME I didn’t wear a mask, then I got Covid!’

        And here I thought your own mask didn’t protect you, it just prevents you, as a disease-ridden bag of viruses, from infecting others.

    • Pine_Tree

      My explanation why they can’t always goes back to the Law of Conservation of Mass, because I can’t do anything else. Everything you breathe out still gets out. Viruses are too small to be filtered by anybody’s mask. At best it does absolutely zero. It probably actually INCREASES the risk of transmission, because some of the cooties have a chance to stick to it, and between touching it and your face all the time, you’re breaking one of the cardinal pre-Covid rules for germ transmission.

      But masks work perfectly for their REAL purpose, which is to tell other True Believers that you’re one, too.

  56. sarcasmic

    Boo!