WDBH: Pull up a seat and enjoy some tweets

by | Mar 24, 2021 | WebDom’s Browser History | 279 comments

I haven’t had the headspace to do a lot of actual reading this week, so this week’s post is mostly tweets, memes, and other bullshit.

For fuck’s sake, Moby.

Zoom paid $0 in federal income tax last year, and the internet is outraged because people don’t understand taxation (which is theft, btw), or accounting, or, well…business.

Prince Harry is going to work in Silicon Valley. I wonder what the Grifter thinks.

There’s rumours of an R-rated Mrs. Doubtfire, which I seriously hope comes out.

The COVID-19 digital vaccine pass that’s in the works in Europe should alarm the fuck outta people. But it doesn’t.

I’ve been drinking a lot of New Mexico pinon coffee lately. Mmmm. Roasty and delicious. I already have 4 pounds, and a random human sent me another bag this week.

12 countries including Ghana and the Netherlands are experimenting with plastic to pave the roads.

Really neat website, Draft Map, applies a colour map to your writing so you can see repeated words, and cliches, and long sentences. It’s like Hemingway, but Hemingway checks for passive voice, and so far as I can tell, Draft Map doesn’t.

Man needs to get across a lake.

I’m sure this was already posted, but Evanston approves housing grants for Black residents as part of the city’s reparations program.

Just can't even

Not your plane, Joe

Moar police, plz

DND is for everyone

Just don't do it

Work is haaard

About The Author

WebDom

WebDom

WebDom grows Peyote buttons in the vast desert of her mind.

279 Comments

  1. KromulentKristen

    Guten abend, WD

  2. KromulentKristen

    Is…Moby saying that animals would cease to exist in a vegan world?

    • UnCivilServant

      yep, all that livestock will be exterminated as useless.

    • db

      Well, the tasty ones would go extinct, at least.

    • Bobarian LMD

      ALL animals.

    • dbleagle

      Your jib, I appreciate the cut thereof .

  3. db

    I have actually seen a person motorcycling with no helmet and with a mask (no, not a gaiter, a pseudo-medical mask).

    • westernsloper

      FFS

      • db

        I felt like tossing a javelin into his spokes, but had forgotten my carry javelin at home.

      • Hank

        You should always have a spokes-jamming javelin in case you need to cheat in a chariot race.

      • Timeloose

        Those AMCs we not very portable. Does yours have a 390CI plant?

      • db

        No, no, it was the 232; “carry” Javelin, remember?

      • Timeloose

        Ok my mistake. Good thing you didn’t have your carry Gremlin.

      • blackjack

        I’m all about the AMX. It’s like a muscle car but shorter,

      • Plinker762

        Some day someone will make a javelin so big it will destroy the Earth.

      • Web Dominatrix

        What Sloper said.

    • Nephilium

      Same here. He was also wearing a short sleeve t-shirt and shorts. He was just missing sandals to really pull the look together.

      • blackjack

        I bet he rode off with his feet low and out like he was going to catch himself if he fell. That drives me nuts. I keep expecting them to break an ankle or something. Once you’re moving, put your fucking feet on the pegs. They ain’t doing any good as outriggers.

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      How else are you going to keep the bugs out of your teeth.

  4. westernsloper

    Mask on a motor cycle has to be the stupidest I have seen.

    • Web Dominatrix

      Right? And the bar was pretty high.

    • rhywun

      *raises pixie stick in solidarity*

      I got hauled into the VP’s office once in 4th or 5th grade. That was it.

    • blackjack

      I got detention a number of times. Never actually did it, but they kept suggesting it to me.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Was it GT who hadn’t seen that movie?

      • UnCivilServant

        I don’t even know what that movie is supposed to be.

      • UnCivilServant

        I thought that movie was about a cooking group.

      • KromulentKristen

        Not only has UCS never gotten detention, he’s actually Mr. Vernon

      • Gender Traitor

        Yes, I confess I’ve never seen it, nor St. Elmo’s Fire.

        I’d be curious to see a list of all the movies considered “Brat Pack” movies. I may not have seen any of them.

        I don’t get out much. :-/

      • Bobarian LMD

        Basically any movie that had at least one of those people in it was brat pack plus Demi Moore, Rob Lowe or hmm… Andrew Mccarthy?

        And made from 1985 to 1990ish?

      • rhywun

        I’ve never seen St. Elmo’s Fire either.

        Wow, that is some cast.

      • Chafed

        You missed nothing.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Quite good IMO. Very quotable.

        Brat Pack and John Hughes are practically synonymous.

      • Trigger Hippie

        I’m still pissed that St. Elsewhere was just a fantasy of an autistic kid gazing into a snow globe.

      • Spudalicious

        I was…not happy.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Sad and demented but social seems to describe a significant portion of the gliberati.

      • rhywun

        LOL

    • Animal

      In high school, I spent so much time in detention that the vice principal suggested that they should just put it on my class schedule.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        Sounds about right.

        Add in a hefty dose of Saturday school too.

    • Tulip

      I once got detention for elbowing some asshole that snapped my bra. He of course did not get in trouble. I did not serve detention because my dad went ballistic.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Was it a NY congresscritter?

      • Tulip

        no

      • Trigger Hippie

        You know what? Despite my initial impulse to say “lighten up”, I get where you’re coming from. This stems from the story about the congress critter(I think) who allegedly snapped bras and made passes while at work, yes?

        If he indeed did that, fuck him. Keeping your sex drive in check for 8-10 hours a day amongst your coworkers/subordinates isn’t that much of a damn imposition.

      • Animal

        To be fair, high school boys are pretty much just a set of testicles with legs.

    • DrOtto

      I had 87 tardies my junior year. The attendance lady said it was a record. That led to more than 1 detention. I smartened up my senior year. I had an in with my first period attendance taker as she was dating my younger brother. I was always marked “present”.

      • Trigger Hippie

        I got 21 out of the 22 credit hours needed to graduate from my podunk high school out of the way by the end of my Junior year.

        My Senior year was a haze…still graduated.

  5. Ted S.

    Cool sidebar.

    • Web Dominatrix

      I forget that it’s on by default.

  6. DEG

    I like that Biden meme.

    Fuck Covid passports.

    Indiana to open up

    Indiana’s governor announced Tuesday he would lift the statewide mask mandate and remaining COVID-19 business restrictions in two weeks.

    Republican Gov. Eric Holcomb said in a speech from his Statehouse office that the state’s steep declines in coronavirus hospitalization and deaths rates along with the growing number of people fully vaccinated justify the steps starting April 6.

    Holcomb said he hoped the state was seeing the “tail end of this pandemic” that has killed nearly 13,000 people in the state over the past year.

    The date for ending the mask mandate was picked to coincide with the ending of the NCAA men’s basketball tournament now being held in Indianapolis and to allow more time for people with at-risk health conditions to get vaccine shots, Holcomb said.

    • Web Dominatrix

      Great news!!

  7. Hank

    “Real-life Lassie! Heroic dog stops traffic to get help for her owner who suffered a seizure on their walk and collapsed on the side of the road

    “Canadian Haley Moore was walking her one-and-a-half-year-old dog, Clover, in her Ottawa neighborhood on March 16 when she passed out and started seizing

    “A neighbor’s security footage showed Clover freeing her leash from Moore’s grasp and walking to the road to block the path of an oncoming truck

    “After seeing Clover in the street, Dryden Oatway stopped his truck and went to tend to Moore while the dog looked for more help

    “The Moore family still isn’t sure what caused Haley’s sudden seizure, but they feel better knowing that Clover is looking out for her”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-9398011/Heroic-dog-stops-traffic-help-owner-suffered-seizure.html

    • db

      “After seeing Clover in the street, Dryden Oatway stopped his truck and went to tend to Moore while the dog looked for more help

      “…no, really, thanks, man, it’s greatly appreciated, but I’m gonna keep looking for some real help now. Try not to fuck up.”

    • Chafed

      Dryden Oatway should have been a character name from Kids In The Hall.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Or a character from a Dave Barry column….. wait, that sounds like a name that Derpy would use… *snaps fingers*… therefore Derpy is Dave Barry/ QE mf’n D.

  8. rhywun

    Ugh, Moby’s fingernails. ?

    • KSuellington

      Yup, they are grody and chewed up to hell.

  9. DEG

    I like The Dead South. That’s a good song.

    • Web Dominatrix

      Me too. Some friends of mine saw them last January. By the time I found out about it there weren’t anymore tickets.

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      I found them via a Pandora channel. Love them. I also found a bunch of kick-ass what I call, “Grunge-Grass” bands through them.

  10. rhywun

    12 countries including Ghana and the Netherlands are experimenting with plastic to pave the roads.

    Guessing it’s more expensive or everybody would be doing it already.

    • Timeloose

      Won’t All the wildlife get their heads stuck on the road?

  11. Translucent Chum

    The Dead South is on the whiskey party spotify mix for spring break next week.

  12. Translucent Chum

    I just purchased some bowls on QVC. So I’ve got that going for me. Which is nice.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I’m still buying bike parts for my new ride. My wife is not amused.

      • EvilSheldon

        Mine finally shows up tomorrow. I’m all excited!

  13. db

    If you were politically aware in 1996, what would you have found more surprising? That Joe Biden would be President in 2021, or that Donald Trump was his predecessor?

    • Translucent Chum

      Or that Trump ran as a Republican.

      • db

        hey, let’s stay within the bounds of reason, here.

    • Hank

      That I’d be commenting on it in a way which made my comment instantly available to pretty much the entire world.

    • DEG

      Tough question. I’d probably be equally shocked finding out both.

    • Spudalicious

      That gets my brain squirmin’ like a toad.

      • db

        I feel like it indicates our national moral standards have degraded significantly. In 1996, Biden had been ejected from the Presidential race due to a high profile plagiarism case, and followed it up by being a principal author of the 1994 Crime Bill, which in large part was responsible for the Democrat’s thrashing at the hands of Newt Gingrich–he should have been at the end of his political career of over 22 yesars, and we should have expected him to be working for a think tank within a few years. Meanwhile, Trump was a curiosity, perhaps enjoyed some notoriety in the 1980s, but had demonstrated no political capability, and was seemingly destined to be a sideshow.

        Instead, both of them have found their way to the highest office in the US government, and have stirred enormous amounts of strife, to the detriment of all of us, and probably our children’s children.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Because the DC system will not tolerate an actual leader anymore.

        They actively filter out anyone who poses a threat to them. Trump was an aberration and something that well not happen again. They will make sure of it.

      • Chafed

        Good analysis.

      • Count Potato

        Into this world we’re thrown like a dog without a bone.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        An actor out on loan?

      • Count Potato

        *masturbates on stage*

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Ah, you’re a performance artist.

      • Count Potato

        *drops acid on Thanksgiving*

        *sings into turkey drumstick*

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Ride that storm.

    • Chafed

      I would have assumed what I’m seeing is a fabrication or I was exceedingly drunk.

    • Mojeaux

      Neither would surprise me.

      By 1996, Trump had already floated this “I’mma run for president” balloon twice.

      Biden’s a fixture. Eventually, D fixtures get put in the hot seat.

      Obama was the real surprise, and the fact that Hillary did NOT get her turn was also a surprise.

      • Swiss Servator

        After the first run of Ross Perot, I might have credited OMB getting in. Especially with the USSR gone.

        Biden….WTF?! The idiot plagiarist?

    • J. Frank Parnell

      I think I was still dropping acid pretty regularly in 96, but I’m not sure if that would have made either of those things more or less believable.

    • db

      I’d love to, but I’m thinking about getting up extra early to catch the sunrise from the air.

      • KromulentKristen

        ?

        (video or it didn’t happen)

      • db

        We’ll see. I haven’t used my anonymous youtube account in so long that it seems to have been removed and I can’t log in. Not going to create a new one.

  14. Count Potato

    “Moby Dick is a book about how cool it is to be mad at a whale ”

    I had an English teacher who said, “Great American novel? It’s a thousand tons of blubber and some nigger with a spear.”

    • straffinrun

      The descriptions of whaling techniques in the book are awesome. You could buy the cliff notes instead if you don’t want all the technical stuff; The Old Man and the Sea.

      • dbleagle

        The whaling and sailing tech parts are the parts of the book I most enjoy. Melville wrote the book for an American audience with a major whaling industry. He had to be plausible or better to attract and keep readers.

      • straffinrun

        Ambergris FTW.

  15. straffinrun

    Twitter round ups by Webdom are fun. Wouldn’t trust any of you to do it.

    • Chafed

      Nor should you.

  16. SP

    I know it’s kinda late for the East Coasters on a school night, but I’ve started a Zoom for anyone who feels like chatting for a bit.

    Go here

    • db

      ok no one is there

      • straffinrun

        I’ll stop by for a bit.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Dammit. One of these days I’ll have to join one of these things and meet my favorite Gai-ko

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It’s a trap!

      • rhywun

        I was hoping for a cookbook.

    • Chafed

      How come I’ve never seen you and Nephilium in the same room at the same time? Oh wait. I have.

  17. Scruffy Nerfherder

    I read that as New Mexico prison coffee.

    • commodious spittoon

      That’s just, like, your pinion, man.

    • Web Dominatrix

      I am unsure what that would taste like…and I don’t want to find out.

      • commodious spittoon

        I’ve heard about the loaves they serve for meals at MDC. Not prison, to be fair. I imagine prison supper is even worse.

  18. commodious spittoon

    Zoom paid $0 in federal income tax last year, and the internet is outraged

    Just beat the tax pinatas till the stimulus monies come out.

  19. Trigger Hippie

    Mar 23
    A reminder: in a vegan world there would be…

    Billions of less people on this earth due to malnutrition and outright starvation, mostly in third-world countries.

    But that’s what Malthusian cunts with no worries about dying from lack of food like Moby want, they’re just too chickenshit to say it.

    For the record, I’m not shitting on Vegans here, I’m shitting on myopic death cultists who can’t see the misery they would inflict on humanity for their pet cause.

    ‘100% of pandemics are zoonotic in origin. #veganforlife’

    It’s like plagues caused by fleas hopping rides on the backs of rodents hopping rides on grain shipments has never happened in human history, ever.

    Moby is fucking retarded.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      A lack of proper protein will do that to you.

    • Count Potato

      What I wonder about Moby is that is music was never that good. How did he get so famous?

      This is probably his most famous track: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_lex3seXmM

      As far as “tekkno” early breakbeat shit, kids running trackers on their Amigas were producing better tracks.

      • rhywun

        Yeah, I liked some of that stuff. Some folks were a lot better at it than Moby. But it’s so dated – I don’t listen to any of it any more.

      • Count Potato

        I was thinking more of the +140 BPM compilations, XL Records stuff, etc.

        I don’t listen to it anymore either.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I was into it before it was cool.

        *sips PBR*

    • blackjack

      Pretty sure mosquitos are the deadliest animal on earth. Probably available as a fried snack in some Asian country, but not common enough to call it karma.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Rachel Carlson approves of this message.

    • rhywun

      My thinking is that humans are built to eat meat. I have no guilt doing so. I also support those who choose not to.

      *big giant shrug*

      • Animal

        We’re built to eat almost anything. A big part of our evolutionary success over some of our nearest relatives (re: paranthropines) is that our digestive tract is basically a garbage disposal.

      • UnCivilServant

        “Obligate Omnivore” comes to mind.

      • rhywun

        *recalls the eating habits of one or two folks I’ve dated of Chinese extraction*

      • Animal

        Yup. We have most of the hallmarks – relatively unspecialized teeth, un-keratanized esophageal epithelium, high pH stomach acid (although not as high as scavengers like dogs and hyenas) and intermediate-length digestive tracts. We’re really a lot like vertical pigs, diet-wise.

      • Hank

        I heard Vertical Pigs when they opened for Velvet Revolver at…uh…the Met.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Long Pork.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Oh, I agree.

        I just have the sneaking suspicion that in Moby’s “Ideal World”, the consumption of animal flesh would be outlawed.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        I ate at his now-closed veggie café; it wasn’t bad.

    • Web Dominatrix

      About 20 years ago…maybe 18…I was introduced to Moby’s music, and then I heard he was opening a vegan restaurant because he’s one of *those* crazy vegans that gives the rest of us a bad name. I told my then boyfriend, “well, it’s a shame he’s insane…”

      • Chafed

        *Raises a toast to WebDom*

      • commodious spittoon

        I liked his whole Standing Outside a Broken Phone shtick.

        Wait, no, I liked his song in The Beach.

        I slept over a night at my 21-year-old brother’s house when he’d invited his girlfriend over to watch the movie, and she brought her friend. I don’t know if her friend expected to pair off with a dude that night, but I was fourteen. I remember that movie entirely, because I was fourteen, I wasn’t drinking or doing drugs, and I certainly wasn’t fucking. I really kinda like the movie, despite all that.

      • Trigger Hippie

        I rather enjoy the Vegans here. We can and often disagree about the the health, ethical, and rational reasons for being Vegan until we go blue in the face, but not once have I seen anyone here argue that the law should be used to implement their personal values about the subject.

        You do you, I’ll do me, we can still live in peace.

        Beautiful, ain’t it?

  20. Hank

    “The New York Post does not see this as a conservative or liberal issue — it’s an issue of life and death. Curbing guns is what led to New York City’s three-decade reduction in murders. And, sadly, it’s the dismissal of that progress that has led to a rise in shootings here. Outside the city, the toll of semi-automatic weapons is a sad litany of cities and schools: Newtown, Parkland, Aurora, Las Vegas. It’s a national shame….

    “When they enshrined the Second Amendment, the Founding Fathers could not have conceived of high-capacity magazines. Hunting and home protection are one thing — but what civilian needs an AR-15?

    “The Supreme Court has ruled the Constitution protects guns “in common use,” not weapons of war. Our forefathers did not want every American to be capable of mass slaughter.

    “As we’ve said before, getting it done will require centrists to stand up in both parties to stare down their “ban everything” and “ban nothing” extremes. Start by writing an assault-weapon ban that focuses on firepower — rate of fire, muzzle velocity, and so on. Then move on to tighter, universal background checks, etc., reasonable waiting periods and all the rest.”

    https://nypost.com/2021/03/23/get-weapons-of-war-off-americas-streets/

    • Count Potato

      Fuck their editorial board.

      • rhywun

        I said earlier it’s them jumping the shark.

        The libs who run the news page seem to be taking over the editorial page.

        There’s no other explanation for that steaming pile of hot garbage.

      • Gustave Lytton

        They’re NYC “conservatives” of the Rockefeller ilk. Guns are icky.

    • commodious spittoon

      So they’re advocating bringing back S&F?

    • Count Potato

      “Curbing guns is what led to New York City’s three-decade reduction in murders. And, sadly, it’s the dismissal of that progress that has led to a rise in shootings here.”

      Really? When has NYC made gun laws more permissive? New York pulled some “emergency” bullshit to ram their SAFE law through after Newtown.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Shhhh, they’re on a roll.

    • Animal

      …but what civilian needs an AR-15?

      Fuck off, You don’t get to decide what I need or don’t need. Only I get to decide that. Oh, and did I mention fuck off? Yes, fuck off.

      • Count Potato

        The funny thing here is that AR-15’s weren’t that popular before the assault weapons ban. Now that it expired, they are the most popular rifle in the U.S.

    • rhywun

      Just replace “guns” with, well… any other word.

      “Ban ______!”

      “Uh… but criminals will still obtain _______.”

      “?!”

    • Trigger Hippie

      ‘Hunting and home protection are one thing — but what civilian needs an AR-15?’

      A civilian who understands that the 2A was enshrined to ensure that the general public could have the ability to not only hunt or defend their homes and families but also overthrow a tyrannical government?

      • EvilSheldon

        Why should I deny myself the most effective tools for self-defense? Criminals, state-sponsored or freelance, aren’t going to give up the tools they use to victimize me…

      • Trigger Hippie

        And nevermind that the AR-15 is the most commonly used hunting rifle…

      • dbleagle

        I would be careful with that argument since I do not believe that is a correct statement.* Plus TH, your earlier comment about the reason for the 2A is correct and in line with the Founders statements and our natural rights.

        *Many states limit or prohibit the use of AR type weapons, Those that do permit them restrict what game may be taken and generally limit permitted rounds to three. I have many days hunting all over the west and in NC and PA. I was also responsible for managing a large public hunting program in CA and in all those days in the field I never saw an AR-15 style weapon used for hunting- except for coyotes and prairie dogs in MT. My experience is not the authority, but it is illustrative.

      • Trigger Hippie

        That’s a fair criticism. I confess that I made that comment out rote memory from here and other sources years ago. If pressed to back up my AR-15 hunting claim, I’d be up shit creek without a paddle.

      • Bobarian LMD

        It is the highest selling ‘sport rifle’ in America, but it ain’t really used much for hunting, other than varmits.

        Popular with hog hunting as well as what DE talked about.

        Lots of places out east require straigt walled ammo to hunt deer, for instance. So you have to have an AR chambered in something like 350 Legend in order to hunt with it.

      • Animal

        Most (if not all) states also limit hunting rifles to five rounds in the magazine. You can get five-round mags for AR-pattern rifles, of course.

        In the case of game laws, that’s not because of MUH MASS SHOOTINGS but rather so idiots won’t go all spray-and-pray on a group of, say, whitetails. That’s the theory as I’ve always understood it, anyway.

    • KSuellington

      Do cops get them? Then citizens can get them.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Cops are well trained damnit! Well trained!!

    • Bobarian LMD

      Literally everything they said was a lie.

  21. blackjack

    Tin Horn Flats, refusing to serve detention!

  22. Scruffy Nerfherder

    I think I actually killed a Facebook comment thread by calling someone’s bluff. They intended to shut me down by implying I was a racist. I invited them to be explicit and just say it so we could trade proper insults like adults. It’s much more dignified that way.

    The entire thread has been dead for hours. This is odd.

    • commodious spittoon

      Maybe I’m dreaming, but I think in time screeching RACIST will have the same cachet and command the same respect as I’LL SUE, or I’M CALLING THE POLICE.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’ve recently taken the position that if you use it, I’m going to do everything I can to make you suffer for it.

        I’m not going to play their game at all.

      • commodious spittoon

        It’s such an obviously bitch move. He’s already acknowledged he’s outclassed and outmatched, and so he appeals to the mob to get his back. Not for an actual physical altercation, no, he just got his feelings hurt. He’s a soy bitch, and, contrary to what soy bitches think, cuck soy bitchitude isn’t admirable.

  23. Damaged Plastic, it hurts,

    Biden Bucks, YAY! pay the Credit card, bills, and bought a Kayak for Hayek! I always wanted to say that, Hi HE!

  24. Damaged Plastic, it hurts,

    Trashy, PDGA #169877, Thanks for the friending,

  25. Hank

    “…for days after the fatal shooting of six Asians and two whites at massage-cum-sex spas in Atlanta, Asian activists and professors blanketed the airwaves to demand that white men STOP treating them like sex objects — whom they fantasize about, they want, they covet. Newspapers were chock-a-block with first-person accounts of Asian women being salivated over by white men….

    “…I’m begging you, white men, please, for the love of God, STOP turning liberal women into your sexual fantasies!!!”

    https://anncoulter.com/2021/03/24/asian-women-are-too-damn-hot/

    • Count Potato

      “massage-cum”

      • Tundra

        Happy ending!

    • Trigger Hippie

      ‘Asian activists and professors blanketed the airwaves to demand that white men STOP treating them like sex objects — whom they fantasize about, they want, they covet.’

      Damn, they seem awfully hellbent on destroying the businesses of many an Asian woman.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Asian activists and professors blanketed the airwaves to demand that white men STOP treating themother Asian women like sex objects and START treating them like sex objects.

  26. Tundra

    Moby is a douche.

    Thanks, WebDom! Some fun stuff there, especially the drone footage of the eruption. Neat-O!

  27. Damaged Plastic, it hurts,

    Next is to go Upriver,
    ,
    and come back to my docks, an overnight trip,

  28. Trigger Hippie

    Watching Resident Alien.

    Alien: “This is supposed to represent my people? My people are not a costume.”

    Native woman: (smirks/chuckles) “Welcome to my world.”

    Woke or not, that’s a funny line.

  29. Hank

    Oh, how artistic – the people of Charlottesville, VA seem to have elected a poet as mayor –

    “Is this better? I’m asking the person who reported my short poem to FB.

    “Charlottesville: The beautiful-ugly it is. It lynched you, hung the noose at city hall and pressed the souvenir that was once your finger against its lips. It covers your death with its good intentions. It is a place where white women with Black kids collects signature for a white man who questions whether a black woman understands white supremacy. It is destructively world class. White people say that it is a place where gentrification started with the election of a Black women in 2017 and because of white power, a lie becomes #facts. Its daily practice is that of separating you from your soul. Charlottesville is void of a moral compass. It’s as if good ole tj is still cleverly using his whip to whip the current inhabitants into submissiveness. Charlottesville rapes you of your breaths. It suffocates your hopes and dreams. It liberates you by conveniently redefining liberation. It progressively chants while it conservatively acts. Charlottesville is anchored in white supremacy and rooted in racism. Charlottesville rapes you and covers you in sullied sheets.”

    https://www.foxnews.com/politics/charlottesville-mayor-nikuyah-walker-city-rapes-you

    • Hank

      Wikipedia says the poem used to read “Charlottesville: The beautiful-ugly it is. It rapes you, comforts you in its cum stained sheet and tells you to keep its secrets.”

  30. J. Frank Parnell

    If we’re posting twitter links, has everyone already seen this?

    Note: you might want to save that link in case you ever swallow poison and need to induce vomiting.

    • mikey

      Is it is or is it ain’t satire?

    • Mojeaux

      I thought there was going to be a list of all the pork in the bill, but no. Just some upper middle class white woman asking permission to go outside.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      In case you swallow poison and need to vomit right away and don’t have time for a full video, the bottom right picture here might do the trick.

      • Chafed

        I would pity these people if they weren’t insufferable.

      • J. Frank Parnell

        Crap, I meant the bottom left. The one with Fauci.

    • Mojeaux

      I see it now.

      • commodious spittoon

        That fucking fascist Stephen Molyneux, with his *checks notes* rants against child abuse.

      • Mojeaux

        That wasn’t a downer. Nope. Not at all.

    • slumbrew

      That’s some nightmare fuel right there. I kept expecting them to reach up and pull the skin mask off.

  31. Mojeaux

    @l0b0t, from previous thread: I loved your cat-and-bat story. Our Missouri house panther is quite adept at bringing us presents of avian bodies. Sometimes they’re not dead and then they go flying through the house.

  32. db

    Baseball nerds: come to the Zoom!

  33. Gustave Lytton

    So senior exec at work sent an email out not only repeating the lies of Floyd and the last year, but now says they are afraid because they’re Asian. Goes for at least two pages over grievance mongering claptrap and do something BS.

    This from someone who a) is mixed decent and doesn’t look Asian at all, b) has had a outstanding career but is still buying into the horseshit or is trying to use it, c) is probably in more danger of getting walked for shitty numbers in their business unit coupled with the CEO’s golden boy wanting more empire than attacks from some rando on the street. I’m tired of this, I want off. Sliding so far backwards so quickly.

    • dbleagle

      I made the point a few days ago that good Soldiers are dropping retirement packs or letters of resignation because of all this social justice wankery and the military leadership (military and civilian) forgetting the reason we have a military. In the last 24 hours one LTC told me that their retirement packet is submitted (the last straw was the extremist training), on MAJ dropped their letter of resignation (same reason plus knowing they will never do their specialty again), and one SSG declined to reup for active duty (same reason).

      I encouraged the MAJ and SSG to consider the Guard or Reserves. But who knows what they will do. All three are bitter and failed betrayed by the senior civilian and military leadership.

      • Bobarian LMD

        This. The fucking extremist training was Friday.

        We’ll likely catch shit for how we conducted it internally, but I’m afraid that training to the expected standard would have led to mutiny.

        It is fucking insulting. Much like years ago when they formalized ‘Army Values’ as a lesson requirement.

        With special dog tags to show you had values.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I remember when it first came out with the initialism RCHILDS before some bright boy turned it into LDRSHIP or whatever it was.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Friggin Clinton Pentagon. That was the genesis of all this crap.

      • Gustave Lytton

        /memories of when a map case was an alternative lifestyle bag

      • tripacer

        You can have my donkey dick when you pry it from my cold dead hands!

      • dbleagle

        By chance I was in Korea having breakfast when the SecArmy asked to sit at my table for his meal. I guess he saw my long tab and right shoulder so figured “I’ll sit with this young Major.” I made chit chat with him and the COL with him if I had my “Values” dogtag around my neck. I replied that I did not and the SecArmy asked why not. I told him politely that I did not see the point. If after all my time I didn’t know how to be a leaders I wasn’t much good in in Special Operations. The SecArmy surprised me with, “I agree. Wearing a piece of plastic won’t instill values.” The COL wasn’t happy, but his boss had spoken.

        Bobarian brings back an unpleasant reminder of Commanders in Chief past. I guess I need to wait for the new “red dot for safety”. My bet it will be a “pink dot for trans rights”. Lord help us.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        It definitely figured in why I dropped my retirement. After being told that, “grabbing asses and quid quo pro is bad m’kay,” dozens of times and no sign of the bullshit relenting, it was time to go. The fact that I stood a nearly zero chance of making MSG, I hated doing the things that the Army likes on evals, turns out trying to be an expert in doing the job and focusing on learning how to win a gunfight were not things that the Army valued.

    • rhywun

      Ugh.

      So far it’s just noises at work. Every “Town Hall” all the execs go on about how “critical” dIVeRsiTy is and then nobody talks about it again. They got 41 (!) people to spin the “diversity wheel” – out of 7,500+ employees. LOL

      • commodious spittoon

        “Engage in this thing that could end your career and hound you into a social media-assisted suicide” sounds really unpersuasive.

      • rhywun

        At least these guys and gals are giving me fuel for my conviction that I never, ever want to get into management. How they can live with themselves at the end of the day, I don’t get.

      • slumbrew

        Individual contributor 4 lyfe, yo.

        Any managerial responsibilities would not come with enough extra cash to make it worthwhile.

      • slumbrew

        I keep wondering how our thousands of Indian employees feel about this.

      • rhywun

        Right?! I think they are going to be the other, other white meat.

        My boss and boss-boss are both of Indian extraction – though very American at this point. I like to think they might have my back if shit gets weird.

    • commodious spittoon

      That it’s been corporatized is probably promising for the future… we’ll someday soon see it like the fucking polar bear Coke ads, just some commercial fluff from a bygone era.

      I worry about what fresh new hells will have been dug up by then. Chromosome-level differentiation? Atomic-level pronouns for other-universe-kin, like that plot twist in Anathem?

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Hey! Don’t forget about those that people that identify as Boson Particles. Their pronouns are unpronounceable to those with human physiology.

    • Plinker762

      Any Glib that can do steel fabrication or CAD drawing is welcome to apply to my 100% non-woke, masks prohibited company.

      • commodious spittoon

        I know Revit. If pushed I can probably relearn Autocad. I don’t know anything about SDS2, but I imagine I could probably be trained.

        I do a lot of shit in Sketchup, but nobody cares about that.

      • Plinker762

        I use an old version of Autocad. It does what I need and I can do a lot of the 3d in my head. I have too Solidworks but haven’t had time to learn it since our draftsman left.

        This is the kind of stuff I do

      • commodious spittoon

        Much classier than what I get up to. I work for structural engineers, all the photogenic work gets farmed out to contractors, and of course we’re downwind of the architects so about the only fancy drafting work I do is importing the Side Plate connections.

      • Mojeaux

        I did CAD drawings once upon a time, but the company I work for is 100% non-woke, no-masks. Also, my boss is a bitch.

      • Plinker762

        My boss is an asshole and he keeps following me home!!

      • Mojeaux

        Hate it when they do that.

  34. slumbrew

    Not sure if this is a drugs/ass situation, but Bandy Lee, the hack psychiatrist at Yale who kept diagnosing Trump et al. despite never having met them, got bounced for that:

    “Although the committee does not doubt that you are acting on the basis of your personal moral code,” the letter read, “your repeated violations of the APA’s Goldwater Rule and your inappropriate transfer of the duty to warn from the treatment setting to national politics raised significant doubts about your understanding of crucial ethical and legal principles in psychiatry.”

    https://yaledailynews.com/blog/2021/03/23/former-professor-says-yale-fired-her-over-tweet-on-trump-dershowitz/

    • Chafed

      I’m shocked, but pleased, to learn Yale has some standards.

  35. Gender Traitor

    My favorite meme du jour: “Biden will never get my guns. I keep them upstairs.”

    • Gustave Lytton

      Gun control is a controversial issue that deserves serious, thoughtful conversation. We’ll never have that conversation, though, as long as the language of the main voices on guns remain inconsistent and confusing.

      No, it isn’t.
      No, it doesn’t.
      No, it won’t be even then.

      Go eat a bowl of dicks and stop giving gun grabbers any benefit of (non) doubt. They can’t have my rights under any terms. There is nothing to discuss.

      • KSuellington

        Agree that was a terrible finish GL. It’s not even a conversation, whether or not they have the slightest idea what they’re talking about.

    • Chafed

      You really want to talk about your ass tonight. It’s hot, okay! We all know you have a hot ass. Glib ladies and/or Glib gays, can I get a second?

    • KSuellington

      It’s a good analogy. Over the years when arguing with progs I have often used drugs as the comparison to guns. If you can score drugs in prison while being in prison for drugs it shows that making it illegal doesn’t much help end it. If I need to cut to the chase it’s, “well we made drugs illegal and in a short time you couldn’t get them any longer, and we were able to empty our jails because of it, at an almost imperceptible cost. We don’t have millions of people in jail, especially minorities, and you couldn’t buy coke at any price, even if you wanted. I bet we could have the same success with guns.”
      That usually makes the subject change.

      • hayeksplosives

        And that concludes tonight’s episode of “How to Break the Ice at Parties”, with KSue.

      • Chafed

        I like that KSuell. I’m tucking that away for the future.

      • KSuellington

        Thanks guys. I remember parties, those were fun. Humans should do that sort of thing again. I generally avoid politics in mixed company, but if someone really wants to press an issue I’m capable of a rejoinder or two.

  36. Mojeaux

    Hey, ‘Splosives— How’s the hubster?

    • Chafed

      He looks good in the photo.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        They both do.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      “BIDEN: “There’s not a single thing a man can do that a woman can’t do as well or better. Not a single thing.””
      He’s right. At first I balked but then Jennifer Boom Boom Cummings, the lady who KO’d Mike Tyson in his prime, came to mind.

    • KSuellington

      At this point I give it at least half a chance of being faked or a false flag of some sort. Not unlikely that she is just an entitled asshole caught in the act though.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Meh, a bitch ass bitch in a bakery shouldn’t get a “news” story.

      • Festus

        All of her children and the dog appear to be bi-racial. Ignorant cunte learned it at home.

      • rhywun

        But she used the n-word! I mean, come on. We need to be aware of these things.

  37. Damaged Plastic, it hurts,

    Hola mein Froinds, wassup?

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning….ummm… I don’t know what to call you now. 🙁

      • Damaged Plastic, it hurts,

        Bob works well, mornin, from here it looks good, Ucs , Hola!

  38. UnCivilServant

    Morning.

    I hate when I oversleep and have to rush.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, UCS. Did you make it on time?

      • UnCivilServant

        Luckily I only needed to make it to the living room.

      • Damaged Plastic, it hurts,

        I already walked half a mile, and still havent clocked in, lucky dog,

  39. Gender Traitor

    So the Ohio Department of Health’s method of tracking certain COVID cases got flagged by auditors. Whatever would have possessed them to do that?

    “When counting the total number of hospitalizations and deaths, ODH does not differentiate between hospitalizations and deaths by COVID-19 and with COVID-19,” the Ohio Auditor’s Office said in the report.

    Something something more of what you reward…

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Once COVID cases and deaths were essentially monetized numerical inflation was inevitable. Doctors and administrators are people too and incentives matter.

    • Gender Traitor

      Just one more small way it was fighting the pandemic. Surprised the article didn’t include that among its achievements.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        It’s such a finger in the eye to the people that lost people due to that mind blowingly stupid decision. I’d be furious if I was one of them but instead I’m just amazed that they forced that person through when it’s going to blow up in their faces.

      • Festus

        Phrasing?

    • Sean

      *sad trombone*

  40. Damaged Plastic, it hurts,

    Off to grow stuff, Ciao peeps!

    • Gender Traitor

      Carpe boletus!

    • Gender Traitor

      Ooh! Chocolate chip? Please say it’s chocolate chip!

  41. Tres Cool

    yo whaddup doh

    • Gender Traitor

      ‘Sup, homey? Have a hard day’s night?

  42. Festus

    Solid links! Had a sensible chuckle over Poor Ole Joe. Mornin’ Glibbies!

    • Gender Traitor

      Mornin’, Fes!

      • Festus

        Day Two without smartphone. The quiet is eerily pleasant. Reminds of the long, long ago when I never bothered to carry even a flip phone which was about a year and a half ago. I can’t believe how reliant I’ve become on the tech. Mornin’ to you, Red!

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        How are you going to keep up with the FB notifications of the high school people you lost touch with after high school but reconnected with on social media but never really gave a damn about though?

      • Festus

        Step-Daughter #3 scared them all away with a broom and buckets of water years ago. I’ve told the story before. That’s when I realized what Face-stalk was and have never been back.

      • Gender Traitor

        Someone at Chez GT/TT has likewise been smartphoneless since Monday evening when someone neglected to empty ALL his pockets when someone’s pants went into the wash…

      • UnCivilServant

        I can understand forgetting something light like a dime or a flash drive, but something with weight?

      • Festus

        Oh Dear… Daughter #2 dropped hers in the toilet once. I’m working on a replacement but I’m not in any panic about it. I just browse YouTube mostly anyway.

      • Tres Cool

        So he’s kin to Jugsy. She’s like a teen- I have to check all her pockets when I do laundry lest I end up later picking out shredded kleenax, debit cards, change, etc from either the WORSHER or dryer.

  43. Tres Cool

    Maybe not the song to start your day, but hey- Ive been up all night and Im working on a beer buzz (and laundry). Gotta get Chez Tres cleaned up for Jugsy’s return home tomorrow. The place looks like a frat house.

    Have a heapin’ helpin’ of Lucinda Williams.

    • Festus

      That’s a great tune and hits close to home. Been there, done that more times than I care to talk about.

      • Tres Cool

        Lucinda is like a Joan Jett-Joni Mitchell hybrid. Solid would.

      • Festus

        I’m not sure but judging by appearances you might not be her type. S’okay. I had a huge crush on young Ani Difranco back in the 90’s 😉

      • Tres Cool

        I can switch it up now and again to some bag o’ bones- ex Mrs. Tres was about 5’3″ and a part-time boxer that weighed maybe 120 lbs.
        When I used to smoke cigs, my darts of choice were Marlboro Light. But a pack of menthol every so often was nice.

      • Festus

        Cultural Appropriation! Git ‘Im!

      • Tres Cool

        Stop ruining my boner. She likes some D, yo. From the Wiki:

        Personal life
        During the 1980s, Williams was briefly married to Long Ryders drummer Greg Sowders. In September 2009 she married Tom Overby, an executive from Best Buy’s music department, who is also her manager. The marriage ceremony was performed on stage at First Avenue by her father.

      • The Hyperbole

        Lucinda will cut a bitch.

      • Tres Cool

        Johnny Paycheck will shoot you in the face if you don’t applaud. Well, did.

      • Festus

        I wonder if he had libertarian tendencies or was just an ornery asshole.

      • Festus

        Shit. Laundry!

      • Tres Cool

        /looks @ Venn diagram
        /math checks out

      • Festus

        Ayup.

      • The Hyperbole

        Always with the Johnny Paycheck whataboiutism!

      • Festus

        Napoleon Complex.

      • Tres Cool

        One of the employees at work was locked-up with Paycheck at Orient. He said he was a really cool guy (for a honkey).

      • Festus

        That’s a tale that needs telling.