Wednesday Afternoon SugarLinks – Asshoe edition

by | Mar 31, 2021 | Daily Links | 298 comments

A Dementia-Like Illness Has Sickened Over 40 People in Canada

Doctors in Canada are puzzled over a cluster of people coming down with a dementia-like brain disorder with no known diagnosis. Over the past half-decade, dozens of residents in New Brunswick are thought to have developed the condition, which includes symptoms such as memory loss, behavioral changes, and hallucinations. It is still unknown whether these cases are indeed linked or what the cause could be.

CBC News reported this month that health officials in New Brunswick sent out a memo in early March to doctors in the area alerting them to the cluster. According to the memo, the likely first case of this mystery condition was reported in 2015. As of now, there have been 43 suspected cases identified, including six in 2021, across all age groups. Five people so far have died.

40 people in Canada were elected President of the United States??!


 

And then there are these asshoes…

Y’all Going to Keep Wearing the Masks After This?

Last week, a couple of my fully vaccinated friends got into a lengthy debate over the future of their post-pandemic faces. They both agreed that covid notwithstanding, 2020 was a banner year for not getting sick with the kind of cruddy little nothing illnesses that generally torment one in a normal year of interacting with people. However, while one friend maintained that he’s going to keep wearing his mask in public spaces even after it’s not legally and morally required to do so, the other couldn’t wait to rip his off. It poses an interesting question: what the fuck are we supposed to do when all this is over?

NPR presents some pretty strong evidence that masking up, staying socially distant, and avoiding public places when we are sick has had predictable results—people are not as sick with the normal colds and flus as they normally are. Pediatric patients with respiratory illnesses are down 62 percent, likely because they haven’t been in their little germ boxes all day five days a week sneezing into one another’s mouths, and flu deaths among adults are also way down this year. And even as the masses get vaccinated and begin to move about the country a little more freely, many hospitals are contemplating keeping their mask mandates in place permanently, which seems wise as, by their very nature, most of the people in them are sick and some are contagious.


And these asshoes!

America’s Obsession With Wipes Is Tearing Up Sewer Systems

Even before the pandemic, Americans were already flushing far too many wipes into the sewer system. After a year of staying at home, the pipe-clogging problem has gotten worse.

Just ask Larry Hare, who says he immediately observed the change from his vantage point as the manager at a wastewater reclamation facility in Des Moines, Iowa.

Sewer backups are up 50%, and he attributes this to the flushing of wipes, which don’t break down in water like toilet paper. “We’ve always had the problem, but it just hasn’t been as big a problem as it is currently,” Hare said.

With consumers cleaning everything from counters to doorknobs in hopes of thwarting the coronavirus, sanitary wipes are more popular than ever. In the 12 months through late January, their sales surged 75%, according to data from Nielsen. But the blockages they create when flushed — dubbed fatbergs — have become a costly headache. The Des Moines Metropolitan Wastewater Reclamation Authority has spent more than $100,000 over the past year and deployed specialized block-clearing trucks about 30 times, according to Hare. Similar problems are plaguing cities and towns across the U.S., and they’re being forced to spend more and more on fixing the problem.


 

On a personal note, I call to you, the good people of Glibertaria, to back me in my quest to be the Youth Inaugural Poet in 2024. Petition your congresspeople, protest your local poetry bureaucracies, riot at your state poetry warehouses, descend like locusts on the campaigns of my foes.

SUGARFREE FOR INAUGURAL POET 2024!

I swear I will do us all proud.


 

About The Author

SugarFree

SugarFree

Your Resident Narcissistic Misogynist Rape-Culture Apologist

298 Comments

  1. Shpip

    NPR presents some pretty strong evidence

    Since when?

  2. Rebel Scum

    which includes symptoms such as memory loss, behavioral changes, and hallucinations.

    Drugs.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Local bootlegger’s still pot has a high lead content maybe?

      • Tonio

        Moonshiner. Bootleggers were transporters and retailers, sometimes of commercially distilled booze from Canada or the Carribean. Sometimes the same people did both but bootlegging is the retail end of the op.

        Moonshiners were illicit producers of distilled spirits. The moonshine blindness came from using automobile radiators as condensers for the distillate; the residual glycol (etc) did bad things. That’s also why Mountain Dew soda is that color — it’s the same color as ‘shine distilled in a radiator.

      • Count Potato

        Also from the government deliberately adding methanol.

  3. slumbrew

    Is there an age cut-off to be Youth Inaugural Poet? Asking for, uh, a friend.

    • C. Anacreon

      I would think a Youth Inaugural Poet would be a Yippie.

    • Chafed

      Your wife is interested?

  4. The Late P Brooks

    It poses an interesting question: what the fuck are we supposed to do when all this is over?

    “Over” you say…

    Doin’ right ain’t got no end.

  5. Swiss Servator

    SUGARFREE FOR INAUGURAL POET 2024!

    Finally, the country will get what it needs AND deserves.

    • slumbrew

      Good and hard.

    • Gadfly

      Truer words were never spoken.

      • C. Anacreon

        I used to have an elderly relative with dementia who would occasionally say “truer words were never spoken” to no one in particular, and then go back to humming to himself.

        If this had been a thread fail, I might have thought he’d been reincarnated.

  6. Swiss Servator

    “But the blockages they create when flushed — dubbed fatbergs”

    AKA the “Lindy West”?

      • pistoffnick

        Some sailboats have those. It’s called a macerating toilet.

      • The Other Kevin

        Automatic poop knife? What will they think of next!

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Why would I want a garbage disposal in my sailboat’s masturbating toilet? I wouldn’t think anything going down that one would need chopped up.

      • Tonio

        Those are some kind of french thing, right?

      • KSuellington

        Just pray you don’t hang low.

      • Count Potato

        Motorhomes too.

      • Rat on a train

        Ensure your shower also ties in so you can make a salad.

      • Chafed

        *barf*

      • Chafed

        I got the reference. It’s just a disgusting idea.

  7. Rebel Scum

    after it’s not legally and morally required to do so

    It never was.

    what the fuck are we supposed to do when all this is over?

    Hopefully learn a lesson about government overreach and ineptitude.

    had predictable results—people are not as sick with the normal colds and flus as they normally are.

    Yes they are but you cuntes just call it “covid”.

    likely because they haven’t been in their little germ boxes all day five days a week sneezing into one another’s mouths

    Which will harm their immune system development and they will compromised as adults if this nonsense continues.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      “Hopefully learn a lesson about government overreach and ineptitude.”

      Sheeyitt, not gonna happen.

    • Swiss Servator

      I, State Your Name, pledge allegiance to SugarFree…

      • slumbrew

        And to the Eeeevil for which he stands…

  8. Endless Mike

    The cluster of dementia cases is from New Brunswick? I may have a lead.

    • Count Potato

      I’m pretty sure that’s a Hobart.

  9. Rebel Scum

    The AP haz a sad.

    The Wisconsin Supreme Court struck down Democratic Gov. Tony Evers’ statewide mask mandate on Wednesday, stripping the governor of one of his last remaining tools to curb the spread of the coronavirus as the state stands on the precipice of another surge in infections.

    The conservative-leaning court ruled 4-3 that Evers violated state law by unilaterally issuing multiple emergency orders to extend the mandate for months. It found that Evers needed legislative approval to issue more orders after the expiration of the initial 60-day mandate he issued in August.

    “The question in this case is not whether the governor acted wisely; it is whether he acted lawfully. We conclude he did not,” Justice Brian Hagedorn wrote for the majority.

    • Rat on a train

      Lawfully? Crazy talk.

    • Shpip

      statewide mask mandate on Wednesday, stripping the governor of one of his last remaining tools to curb the spread of the coronavirus

      The AP stated, without evidence.

  10. zwak

    You want to be the next inaugural poet? In this day and age?

    Well then, from this day forward you are a woman, and you are black.

    Say it once, say it loud, you are black and you are proud!

    You are Woman, and let them hear you roar!

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Luckily I identify as a black woman inaugural poet. Now give me accolades bigot.

    • Gadfly

      This also solves the issue of SF being a little old for “Youth” inaugural poet. In today’s enlightened age, he can simply identify as young, as well as whatever other traits would boost his/her/their odds of selection.

  11. kinnath

    NPR presents some pretty strong evidence that masking up, staying socially distant, and avoiding public places when we are sick has had predictable results—people are not as sick with the normal colds and flus as they normally are.

    I was in for my 6-month check up today.

    I was chatting with the doc about not getting sick this year. He said they didn’t treat a single case of influenza last winter. They are just now starting to see kids coming in with “the crud” from being back in school.

    So yes, being put on house arrest and being forbidden from seeing other people did reduce a lot of common communicable diseases.

    STILL NOT FUCKING WORTH IT!

    • Rat on a train

      Isolate long enough and you too can die from diseases that other people have built up an immunity to.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        ???

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Definitely not worth it. Living life has innate risks and getting sick is one of them. It’s not like we can escape death but too many people seem to think they can.

      • Nephilium

        I’m wondering how much (more) hypochondria we’re going to see in the next 10 years or so.

    • KSuellington

      Yup no way no how worth it. There was a good article yesterday in Forbes (of all places) arguing that the North Sentinelese are some of the most isolated people on the planet and as such are among the most vulnerable to disease as a result. At this point any contact would kill most of the couple hundred people on the isolated island. Which is one reason why they kill you if you try and land there.

      • C. Anacreon

        Look at what happened to the Martians in the original War of the Worlds.

      • KSuellington

        Or the residents of Maple Street.

        Hope you’re recovering well from your surgery C A.

    • Urthona

      We’ve already extensively studied societies that wear masks during cold and flu season and there’s no difference in infection rates .

      The most likely cause here is that one type of cold blocks infection from another and covid was prevalent last season.

  12. Gustave Lytton

    However, while one friend maintained that he’s going to keep wearing his mask in public spaces even after it’s not legally and morally required to do so

    Hah, wait until it’s illegal to wear a face mask in public. I expect that will happen by 4Q21 in some jurisdictions if not sooner. Karens can’t help themselves. Whatever isn’t mandatory, is prohibited. Voluntary individual choice is dead.

    • R C Dean

      In many places it already is, and those laws were suspended for the pandemic.

      One of the many laws, of course, not enforced against antifa.

      • leon

        How do you enforce the law against an idea myth?

      • R C Dean

        Flamethrowers?

      • kinnath

        I was talking with my brother the other day about the civil unrest in the 60s versus today.

        I said, that I was sorely disappointed that the police are not aggressively using water cannons on antifa. Surely there must be water cannons in storage somewhere.

      • R C Dean

        Every fire department has water cannons.

  13. Rebel Scum

    Spongebob is canceled.

    One episode, “Kwarantined Crab,” from the show’s 12th season, centers on a virus storyline. “We have decided to not air it due to sensitivities surrounding the global, real-world pandemic,” a spokesperson for Nickelodeon told CNN Business.

    In the episode, a health inspector comes to the Krusty Krab and finds a case of the “Clam Flu” in the restaurant. Upon this discovery, the health inspector quarantines the patrons, and the characters grow anxious. Those who are assumed to have the virus are shunned and tossed in a freezer.

    The removal of the “Kwarantined Crab” comes during a time of increased anti-Asian violence in the United States. The episode’s storyline reflects feelings of increased isolation and hatred that many Asian communities have experienced since the Covid-19 pandemic began. The World Health Organization has urged people to avoid terms like “Chinese virus” or because they can create a backlash against people of Asian descent, though former President Donald Trump repeatedly ignored such pleas.

    And?

    • rhywun

      I wonder why the AsIaN hAtE that Donald incited took so long to bear fruit, all the way into Joe’s reign.

    • Gustave Lytton

      The World Health Organization has urged people to avoid terms like “Chinese virus”

      But we’re still ok with using terms like South African, UK, or Brazilian for variant strains, right?

      • C. Anacreon

        Yes, and as a result my people are under attack.
        Continuing use of the name “UK variant” has led to unprecedented hate attacks on Anglo-Saxon Americans and other people of paler flesh.
        Just the other day, an assailant murdered ten white people in a supermarket in Boulder, Colorado, in the most disturbing anti-Anglo hate attack to date, and is evidence of a growing risk that all people of pallor should fear.

        When will our downtown anti-hate rally happen? Where are our yard signs?

      • C. Anacreon

        BTW, the first three sentences above are almost word-for-word from an email from a lawyer of Chinese descent I recently received, except substitute “China virus” and Chinese-Americans:, and Atlanta for Boulder.

      • Chafed

        Exactly. It’s goodthink. I know because they told me so.

  14. DEG

    one friend maintained that he’s going to keep wearing his mask in public spaces even after it’s not legally and morally required to do so

    This friend is fucked in the head.

    /reads link

    Oh. Jezebel. I’m surprised the writer has a friend willing to get rid of masks. On further thought, I’m surprised the author has friends at all.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Forget it, Jake; it’s Jezebel.

    • The Hyperbole

      He’s making a different risk/benefit decision than you, “fucked in the head’ is a bit harsh. A step toward “I know what the right choice is for other people to make’ even.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        A step toward “I know what the right choice is for other people to make’ even.

        Big honking meh. There are other (IMO, superior) ways to libertarianism than ‘live and let live’.

      • The Hyperbole

        When the issue at hand neither breaks one’s leg or picks one’s pocket (or those of some other non-consenting person) I’d say “live and let live” is the only proper route for liberty-minded individuals.

      • R C Dean

        I can simultaneously live and let live, and think someone is fucked in the head. In fact, I do it all the time.

      • Rat on a train

        “You, sir, are an asshole, which is your right.”
        I wish more people could say that.

      • Chipwooder

        Bingo. I have no desire to police the stupid decisions other people make, but I’ll still call him a goddamned moron.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I can think you’re an idiot and wrong and still not stand in your way while you do idiotic and wrong things. “Live and let live” implies acceptance, or at least tolerance, of the idiotic wrong things. I think that it’s really freaking stupid and indicative of a personal moral or intellectual failing to wear masks in perpetuity. I also think that it’s even more stupid and indicative of moral or intellectual failing to make a law against wearing a mask in perpetuity.

      • zwak

        If the wearing of masks did not affect others, then you would be right. But it doesn’t, as the mask wearers insist, often at the point of law, that others join them in their stupidity. And here we are right now. Mask mandates.

      • The Hyperbole

        Woo hoo, I’m right!

      • R C Dean

        I think “fucked in the head” is appropriate for wildly bad risk/benefit decisions. And wearing a mask in public for the rest of your life is a wildly bad decision.

      • DEG

        Yep.

      • The Hyperbole

        How is it a wildly bad decision?

      • R C Dean

        I think wearing a mask in public for the rest of your life is self-evidently a wildly bad decision.

        They are marginally effective at best in reducing transmission of disease, they are dehumanizing, they promote anxiety, they are anti-social in sending a message that you believe everyone you meet is a bag of viruses out to infect you, they create litter, and they are part and parcel of an outlook on life which is obsessed with unobtainable “safety” at the expense of all else. And that’s just off the top of my head.

      • DEG

        I’m reminded of a counter-protester’s sign at an anti-mask ordinance rally I went to.

        The sign read, “WEARING A MASK ISN’T POLITICAL, IT’S AN INTELLIGENCE TEST”.

        He’s right, just not in the way he thinks.

      • The Hyperbole

        They are marginally effective at best in reducing transmission of disease, – see ,my original point about risk/benefit analysis and who gets to make them for individuals (hint it’s the individual)

        they are dehumanizing – so are sunglasses, and hats , and fake tits

        they promote anxiety – only if you’re a pussy

        they are anti-social in sending a message that you believe everyone you meet is a bag of viruses out to infect you – subjective as all get out

        they create litter – They can, so do beer cans, and plastics grocery bags, If this guy properly disposes of his mask it’s none of your business whether he masks up or not

        and they are part and parcel of an outlook on life which is obsessed with unobtainable “safety” at the expense of all else – once again a personal choice.

      • R C Dean

        Sure. Someone can weigh the risks and benefits that weigh if they want. I never said they couldn’t. I just said if they did, I think they’re fucked in the head.

        Although you are certainly disagreeable, we are not actually disagreeing.

      • The Hyperbole

        Look, disagreeing with someone’s decision is fine, thinking they are assholes because of their decisions is fine, but ‘Fucked in the head’ is different, I don’t believe any of “you people” would do it but how often has “he’s out of his mind” been used to deprive a person of their own autonomy. Which is why I said it was a “bit harsh” and a “step toward” totalitarianism.

      • R C Dean

        “Well, you people are fine, but other people can’t be trusted” is just as likely to be a precursor to depriving someone of autonomy as “he’s out of his mind”.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I get what you’re getting at Hype, but it strikes me as akin to banning the N-word and the R-word and everything else. Banning the words or the phrase doesn’t ban the sentiment. If you can’t express “that person’s decision making is so suspect that I question their ability to think critically” then the ability to distinguish between levels of wrong is really hampered.

  15. Rebel Scum

    Woke Hamill.

    CALL TO ACTIVISM

    No more films in Georgia!

    Upcoming Indiana Jones director, James Mangold, boycotts Georgia after the restrictive new voting law.

    Do you support him?

    ———————–

    Mark Hamill

    ABSOLUTELY!

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        They elected a commie, so yes.

    • R C Dean

      I’m willing to bet he never has, and likely never would have, filmed in Georgia. Cheap posturing is cheap.

      • Urthona

        I looked it up and the DC/WB stuff he did was filmed in Vancouver. It wouldn’t surprise me if he filmed in Atlanta though.

        If this causes Georgia voters to stop bribing Hollywood, though. that’s excellent.

    • l0b0t

      Tee hee. When boycotting states over tranny bathroom access was a thing, I was still in the television production game. I asked every director and producer for whom I worked about the topic. Directors said they chose locations based entirely upon the needs of the shoot/look of location and couldn’t care less about the politics of the state/municipality. Producers said they chose locations based almost exclusively upon the amount of tax credits the state was offering and couldn’t care less about the politics of the state/municipality.
      Interestingly, there is a huge secondary market for the trading of tax credits. Production companies who are based in different states and are only in tax credit state to film have no direct use for the tax credits so they sell them to local firms who can put them to use.

      Georgia is a nationwide leader in film tax credits. Ain’t nobody turning those down.

    • Rat on a train

      I believe they can accommodate your filming schedule in the Xinjiang Uygur Autonomous Region.

  16. R C Dean

    symptoms such as memory loss, behavioral changes, and hallucinations

    Should I be concerned if, err, a friend has those symptoms?

    It poses an interesting question: what the fuck are we supposed to do when all this is over?

    Stop being an effing pussy, perhaps?

    NPR presents some pretty strong evidence that masking up, staying socially distant, and avoiding public places when we are sick has had predictable results—people are not as sick with the normal colds and flus as they normally are.

    Weird how all that is suposed to stop some viruses (colds, flus) but not others (COVID, anyone?). First, nobody really tracks colds. There’s no good way to know if actual, run-of-the-mill head colds are down. Here’s a theory on flu:

    The dirty little secret is, nobody is testing for flu. Which is surefire way for flu “numbers” to go down. But, also way down, are “influenza-like illnesses”, which is basically a catch-all for flu symptoms that aren’t actually diagnosable as flu.

    Now, this is actually a very mild flu season, based on what I see in my hospital. We currently have less than 20 people with respiratory illnesses, and they are all COVID. Ordinarily this time of year we would have at least 80 flu patients. However, and I can’t find it now, apparently it has been observed in previous pandemics that a new virus will somehow displace old viruses, although nobody really knows how or why this happens. Its basically an observation at this point, and probably a semi-shaky one.

    But what no one should say with a straight face, after looking at the last year when masking and social distancing compliance was actually quite high during the second and third waves, is that those measures do much to reduce the spread of respiratory illnesses.

    • KSuellington

      Fricking maskholes are gonna be at this for years. There are so many negative effects to walking around with a piece of cloth permanently on your face and yet all are hand waved away. I have no doubt at least part of the current crime increase is due to face concealment becoming the norm in many places.

  17. Rebel Scum

    Hunter’s tell-all memoir.

    In a keenly awaited memoir, Joe Biden’s son Hunter attacks Donald Trump as “a vile man with a vile mission” who plumbed “unprecedented depths” in last year’s US presidential election.

    “Keenly awaited”. And I don’t think he is in a position to call anyone “vile”.

    Hunter, 51, is a lawyer and businessman who has been the focus of Republican bile ever since Trump and his lawyer Rudy Giuliani sought information on his business dealings in Ukraine to use in the 2020 campaign.

    On the page, Biden insists he did nothing wrong in joining in April 2014 the board of Burisma, the gas company at the heart of the Ukraine affair. He dismisses the controversy as “remarkable for its epic banality”. But he says he would not do so again.

    I wonder why.

    He found the company’s role as a bulwark against Russian aggression under Vladimir Putin “inspiring”, though the five-figures a month fee was also a factor. Biden acknowledges that his famous surname was considered “gold” by Burisma. “To put it more bluntly,” he writes, “having a Biden on Burisma’s board was a loud and unmistakable fuck-you to Putin.”

    That’s the angle you want to take? Well, ok then.

    • Urthona

      When a womanizing crackhead who got rich from political nepotism calls you a “vile man” it really stings.

    • The Other Kevin

      Thank the stars, we finally have someone telling us how vile Trump is!

    • Chipwooder

      baaahahahahaha…crackhead who fucked his dead brother’s wife and teenaged girls is gonna toss the word “vile” at someone else? Go on, pull the other one.

      • R C Dean

        You left out “abandoned one of his children.”

        Who has, as far as I know, never been in the same room with his father, who refused to pay anything to support his child.

        I, for one, wish his mother would publicly demand a meeting with Joe so the kid could meet her grandfather.

      • The Hyperbole

        Did Rudy ever release those photos?

      • Chipwooder

        Some of them got out online via whatever channels

  18. The Late P Brooks

    And-

    morally required to do so

    Go hang yourself from the nearest lamppost.

    • DEG

      No face diapers. Good.

  19. The Late P Brooks

    The Wisconsin Supreme Court struck down Democratic Gov. Tony Evers’ statewide mask mandate on Wednesday, stripping the governor of one of his last remaining tools to curb the spread of the coronavirus as the state stands on the precipice of another surge in infections.

    *blows whistle, throws flag*

    Illegal substitution. Fifteen yards and loss of down.

    They are just completely shameless.

    • rhywun

      Pray for Wisconsin. ?

      • Surly Knott

        Badgers? We don’t need no steenking Badgers!

  20. Rebel Scum

    Delta making the change to woke.

    “The right to vote is sacred,” Bastian wrote. “It is fundamental to our democracy and those rights not only need to be protected, but easily facilitated in a safe and secure manner.”

    After having time to now fully understand all that is in the bill, coupled with discussions with leaders and employees in the Black community, it’s evident that the bill includes provisions that will make it harder for many underrepresented voters, particularly Black voters, to exercise their constitutional right to elect their representatives. That is wrong.

    “There is much work ahead,” the memo continued, assuring employees those at the airline “stand together in our commitment to protect and facilitate your precious right to vote.” Bastian promised the company would be “working with leaders across the political spectrum in states nationwide” and “monitoring legislation in Congress” to that end.

    “I know this result in Georgia has caused frustration, anger and pain for many members of our Delta family,” Bastian said. “I commit to you that as we move forward, Delta will continue to do everything in our power to hear and protect your voice and your rights, both in Georgia and nationwide.”

    I do not know why you felt the need to impart you ill-informed political opinions on your employees.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Renaming their headquarters building for Andrew Young isn’t enough.

      Interesting factoid, up until the 1980’s, Delta still held their annual shareholder meeting in Monroe, LA.

    • R C Dean

      a safe and secure manner

      Voting in this country is perfectly safe and has been for a long time. Security, on the other hand, has been declining over the years, and took a hole below the waterline last year.

      HR 1 creates a highly insecure system for no reason other than increased convenience*.

      Which brings us to the perennial question: is the person who wrote this a genuinely stupid person, or an actually bad person?

      *Leaving aside the other reasons why someone might want a highly insecure voting system.

      • Count Potato

        ” genuinely stupid person, or an actually bad person?”

        Why not both?

      • The Other Kevin

        Serious question. If you eliminate voter ID, and have walk-up voting (no registration), what would keep people from just going from poling place to polling place, using different names and addresses, and claiming they lost their ID? They could even do that across state lines. Is there anything at all that could stop it?

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        You’ll still need to be registered, so either you need to get a list of registered voters or get lucky

      • The Other Kevin

        If I’m ever in a malicious mood I might post on FB how I hope that law passes, because it would be awesome to be able to vote for Trump 10 times in a day!

    • rhywun

      Go ahead and pull out of Atlanta, Delta. Put your money where your mouth is.

      • kinnath

        I’m sure some other airline will be happy to buy their landing slots.

      • C. Anacreon

        Now I’m thinking about a ‘landing slot’ in the Delta of Venus

      • slumbrew

        Due to my age, the “landing strip” will always be the correct grooming technique in my mind.

      • Count Potato

        Drapes always match a bare floor.

      • pan fried wylie

        “Drapes always match hardwood”, he was actually quoted as saying.

  21. DEG

    NH Senate President says vaccine passports are not welcome in NH

    Senate President Chuck Morse (R-Salem) has a message for the Biden administration on so-called “vaccine passports:” Stop them now, or I’ll stop them at the border.

    “This past week, it was widely reported that the Biden Administration is considering the creation of COVID-19 ‘vaccine passports’. Many Granite Staters have since reached out to me understandably disturbed by these reports,” the top Republican in the GOP-controlled NH state Senate said Wednesday.

    “I want to make it clear that I will not support the creation of any ‘vaccine passport’ in New Hampshire that would limit the ability of New Hampshire residents to travel, work or enter businesses based on vaccination status,” Morse said.

    • Sean

      Good.

      We need more of this.

  22. Count Potato

    “Now Facebook and Instagram ‘non-person’ Trump: Platforms ban ex-President’s interview with daughter-in-law Lara where he signals he will run for President in 2024

    In their email, the Facebook employee said that ‘content posted in the voice of President Trump is not currently allowed on our platforms (including new posts with President Trump speaking) and will be removed.

    ‘This guidance applies to all campaign accounts and Pages, including Team Trump, other campaign messaging vehicles on our platforms and former surrogates’.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9422559/Trump-signals-supporters-run-President-2024-interview.html

    • Gustave Lytton

      Why stop unpersonning with Trump? If it works on him, it’ll work for anyone else.

  23. Count Potato

    “$174billion on electric cars, $155b on new bridges and roads, $20b on bike lanes, and $10b on climate army: What’s in Biden’s $2trillion infrastructure package being paid for by tax raid on the rich

    Civilian Climate Corps: $10 billion for new Civilian Climate Corps. It’s unclear what this new unit will entail.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9423553/Whats-Bidens-2trillion-infrastructure-package-paid-tax-hikes.html

    “AOC leads far left Democrats claiming Biden’s $2 trillion infrastructure bill is NOT enough as progressives demands up to $10 TRILLION”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9423769/AOC-leads-far-left-Democrats-claiming-Bidens-2-trillion-infrastructure-bill-NOT-enough.html

    • Sean

      $10 TRILLION

      We’re almost up to real money now!

    • kinnath

      AOC goes straight to the Triple Dog Dare

    • Ed Wuncler

      I know it’s going to destroy us but fuck it, pump up the gas and spend more. With the exception of us libertarians and a couple of Republicans, no one really gives a shit about spending anymore

      • Ownbestenemy

        1000%….just get it over with.

      • db

        +1

        Crank that up as hard as you can. When it all finally breaks, the sane states can use the doctrine of odious debt to repudiate their obligations under the crazy policies of the federal government.

      • TARDis

        Fine, but could I at least have some of the freakin’ filthy lucre???

    • Chipwooder

      I prefer when the actual number is written out, as Banjos did this morning. $2 trillion doesn’t have the same impact as $2,000,000,000,000.

      • kinnath

        Two coins. Easy, peasy.

      • Ed Wuncler

        Well if people like Bezos, Buffet, and Musk paid their fair share, the deficit wouldn’t be a problem.

        /sarc

      • db

        When you think about it that way, you could understand it to mean that the government is capable of consuming and destroying the entirety of the wealth of two of the most productive people (Bezos and Musk) the human race has ever seen in a matter of a few days, leaving nothing of value behind, you begin to grasp the enormity of the problem.

    • rhywun

      It’s unclear what this new unit will entail.

      An army of very well-paid Karens spying on your energy usage and tattling to the block commander?

      • Chipwooder

        I won’t cry when they start getting attacked

  24. Gustave Lytton

    So for women’s month, my company is highlighting “women in tech”. Exactly zero of the baker’s dozen interviewed actually do tech work. They’re all sales, marketing, or supervisory management.

    • Rat on a train

      Just slap engineer on the end like they did for so many other jobs. Now you’re tech.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Gotta get with the times: “engineering program manager” or “[ ] architect” are the preferred terms. Mere engineer is so belittling and doesn’t value their contributions enough.

  25. Count Potato

    “A battery powered by nuclear waste could keep a spaceship or hospital operating for 28,000 years without needing to be recharged or replaced, its developers claim.

    The radioactive battery is ‘completely safe’ for humans, according to California-based Nano Diamond Battery (NDB), who say it will ‘change the world’.

    The firm hopes to start selling the battery to commercial partners, including space agencies for long duration missions, within the next two years.

    NDB are also working on a consumer version that could run a smartphone or electric car for up to a decade without requiring a charge.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-9422611/Battery-powered-nuclear-waste-run-28-000-years-sale-2023.html

    If it ever happens, watermelons will be against it.

    • C. Anacreon

      If it ever happens, watermelons will be against it.

      Of course, because it will prevent their goal of herding everyone onto public transportation. Can’t have anyone going off by themselves.

    • R C Dean

      Man, I hope this pans out.

      But hope is not an investment plan, so I won’t be buying their stock quite yet. This sounds too good to be true.

  26. Rebel Scum

    You are racist even when you are not.

    Merriam-Webster has recently updated its definition of what it means to be racially color-blind. And, in a nutshell, it means it’s impossible to not be racist.

    Under the second definition of “color-blind” it says the meaning of the word is “not influenced by differences of race” and especially “treating all people the same regardless of race.”

    Ahh, but there’s a catch. According to the expanded definition, you can still be racist if you treat all people the same regardless of race. Why is that? According to the recently added note to the definition “While sense 2 can be used with positive connotations of freedom from racial prejudice, it often suggests a failure or refusal to acknowledge or address the many racial inequities that exist in society, or to acknowledge important aspects of racial identity.”

    • Count Potato

      OFFS!!

    • Rat on a train

      I failed to acknowledge racial inequities when the pizza was delivered.

  27. DEG

    The NC House just passed HB 264 to limit the governor’s emergency powers. It heads on to the state Senate.

    • Urthona

      It does say something though that all this is happening after covid is basically over.

      They’re all cowards.

      • DEG

        I’m not as close to what is going on in North Carolina as I am in New Hampshire.

        In NH, there were some attempts when the Legislature ended its session last Fall to rein in the governor. A vote to override the rules for a late introduction of a resolution to end the state of emergency failed. Which should have surprised no one. Last term the Legislature was Democrat controlled and NH Democrats along with a significant number of NH Republicans enjoyed the Lil Rona Panic Theater.

        Only after the new Republican-controlled Legislature, with a significant number of liberty-minded legislators, sat and started legislative work did anything happen. Some of the Republicans that enjoyed the Lil Rona Panic Theater are still around, and I expect will cause problems at next week’s voting session and/or will cause problems when legislation to rein in the Governor moves to the Senate.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    Maybe Delta will find a way to transform air miles into votes.

  29. rhywun

    One of my company’s executives today finally got around to spreading the message that we stand against AsIaN hAtE.

    Well, better late than never I guess.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      As long as you have the most recent TPS.

    • Rat on a train

      I’m not sure about my company’s stance, but I typically don’t read messages from executives closely.

    • Sensei

      それは差別だよ!

      • rhywun

        That looks like something an Asian would say. ?

      • Urthona

        Sir I’m gonna have to report you for Asian hate crimes.

    • creech

      Before that message could you use the Costanza defense?

      • Rat on a train

        You may have to escalate to the Chewbacca defense.

      • Gender Traitor

        You were in the pool??

  30. LCDR_Fish

    This is weird. I tried to get to Glibs at work around noon and didn’t see any posts after Yusef’s last night one. Assumed connectivity was down but apparently everything was working normally other than my connection.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      It’s a known issue that goes away when you log in. My recollection is that SP said the host had updated some things that are still having side effects.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Hmm….not sure if I’m going to risk logging in at work ;p

  31. The Late P Brooks

    Who wants to be first to poke his head above the parapet?

    The U.S. business community is trying to figure out how to address President Joe Biden’s infrastructure plan, which calls for higher corporate taxes to help pay for at least $2 trillion in government spending.

    Several prominent business groups, such as the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, oppose the proposed tax hikes. Behind the scenes, though, some companies are considering whether to put up much of a fight because of corporate America’s demand for an infrastructure overhaul, according to people familiar with the matter.

    Lobbyists and other D.C. influencers told CNBC that they have received calls from anxious corporate clients eager for guidance on the path forward. Some of the people declined to be named in this story in order to speak freely about ongoing private conversations.

    “Maybe there’s a way to get a fat contract out of this.”

    • Rat on a train

      “We didn’t think we would be the ones paying.”

      • Chafed

        Ding ding ding!

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        behind the tree!

      • Ownbestenemy

        They set the battle-space a few weeks back when Joe said something along the lines of “business won’t pass on higher taxes to consumers”. Thinly veiled threat the businesses that they better bend over completely for this otherwise you will be on the street.

    • rhywun

      some companies are considering whether to put up much of a fight because of corporate America’s demand for an infrastructure overhaul pathetic submission to the entire leftist slate

      would also work

  32. kinnath

    Finally. This is good news.

    https://www.politico.com/news/2021/03/31/democrat-drops-election-contest-in-iowa-house-race-478736

    The Democrat who lost a House race in Iowa by only six votes announced Wednesday she is dropping her challenge to GOP Rep. Marianette Miller-Meeks’ narrow victory.

    I wonder why.

    Hart’s decision to contest the election kicked up a political firestorm within the Democratic caucus, with a group of vulnerable moderates concerned about the political optics of the House voting to overturn the results of an election just months after hammering then-President Donald Trump and Republicans for attempting to do the same in his failed reelection bid.

    Hey, don’t fuck with my seat.

    • juris imprudent

      I wonder why.

      Cheaper to find her a sinecure than to openly do what they want (which is cheat) and risk the blow-back.

    • Urthona

      awesome.

      i mean bad.

      but awesome

    • Chipwooder

      Meh, already saw that episode of Monk.

      • Sean

        *golf clap*

    • R C Dean

      has now been arrested for setting fire to a medical helicopter mid-flight over Charlotte in 2019

      What the hell took so long?

      Hunsucker’s murder trial is being adjourned due to COVID-related backlog at the courthouse but nonetheless these cases will stay separate since there is no apparent connection.

      The investigation into these cases remain active and ongoing.

      Shouldn’t the murder investigation be over before the trail begins?

  33. Chipwooder

    Apparently that Civilian Climate Corp’s bailiwick will be “environmental and racial justice”. Sounds about right.

    • Rat on a train

      What? No separate Equity Corps?

      • Gustave Lytton

        They all fall under the banner of “Red Guards”.

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      I’m sure their uniforms will be fabulous. Maybe a modern day Hugo Boss.

      • rhywun

        The jokes write themselves, don’t they?

  34. Count Potato

    This is some thread:

    “Released after kicking an old man out of his wheelchair, because Chesa Boudin firmly believes no one should be in jail, but also that no one should have any right to protect themselves from the violent rapists, murderers and attackers he releases.”

    https://twitter.com/RaychelTania/status/1377321547342344193

    • Chipwooder

      I live in a now-proggy state, so I have some sympathy but…..they voted for this asshole.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        The pendulum will swing….. hard.

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        I’ve been waiting for the pendulum to swing back in the Bay Area, but it just keeps going further left.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Actually, I think the odds are San Francisco goes the way of Detroit.

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        The weather and the scenery are too nice for that.

      • rhywun

        So, Acapulco.

        Or closer to home – Atlantic City in the summer.

    • dragonbook

      Looks like my markdown failed.

      • Damaged Man

        Um, Fuck Off Tulpa,

  35. Damaged Man

    Why does it snow right when I want play?
    /Michigan Spring,

    • kinnath

      Let’s all hope that Padma never needs a gun to protect herself from being raped and murdered.

    • R C Dean

      I invite Ms. Lakshmi to move to a pro gun control country. I would imagine living in a pro mass shootings country is intolerable.

      • juris imprudent

        India would be splendid I think.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      Ms Lakshmi is more than welcome to personally come and try to take my guns away. No cop intermediaries, not politicians. Ms Lakshmi herself can show up to my house and attempt to take them away. After all, it’s a matter of peoples lives at stake and if she can’t be bothered to kick down my door and search my house herself, then I have a hard time taking her bullshit seriously.

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      Now I see why Salman Rushdie left her.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Rushdie is the hero of ugly dudes everywhere.

      • rhywun

        something something “Someone, somwhere is sick of her shit.”

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Sorry but no, I’m anti both. Bitch…

  36. Count Potato

    “BLM & other left-wing race groups are furious at the British government’s report finding that people of color outperform whites in many areas. The study says family structure & social class are bigger barriers to success than race.”

    https://twitter.com/MrAndyNgo/status/1377312520726327298

  37. Shpip

    The Conservative Korean is saying doubleplusungood wrongthink.

    Expect cancellation and hounding from polite society in 3…2…1…

    • The Hyperbole

      Collectivism for the win!

    • Sensei

      I’d expect that if this particular person is on the usual platforms they will be disappeared rather quickly.

      I remember when I thought it funny all the Chinese memes and terms for things that censored there banned. In some ways it is rather clever that in US we have private companies do it for us so the government doesn’t even need to get its hands dirty.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I guarantee the people most outraged by that will be white women.

  38. kinnath

    Oh No!

    https://news.yahoo.com/over-100-fully-vaccinated-people-115339262.html

    Scary Lead:

    Over 100 people in Washington state have tested positive for COVID-19 more than two weeks after becoming fully vaccinated against the disease, officials said.

    Bury the important stuff:

    Out of the 1.2 million people who are fully vaccinated against COVID-19 in Washington, epidemiologists have reported evidence of 102 breakthrough cases in 18 counties since Feb. 1, representing less than 0.01% of all fully vaccinated individuals in the northwestern U.S. state. Most cases were patients who experienced only mild symptoms, if any, according to a press release from the Washington State Department of Health.

    No, you will never be free!

    “Finding evidence of vaccine breakthrough cases reminds us that, even if you have been vaccinated, you still need to wear a mask, practice socially distancing, and wash your hands to prevent spreading COVID-19 to others who have not been vaccinated,” Dr. Umair Shah, Washington state’s secretary of health, said in a statement Tuesday.

    • creech

      Yeah, at some point, fuck those who haven’t been vaccinated; I’m not wearing a mask just so they can indulge their opposition to vaccinations. And, I venture to say, 99.99% of those opposed to vaccination won’t give a crap if I’m no longer wearing a mask.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’m not getting vaccinated and I certainly don’t care if you wear a mask.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        ^this. My family will not get these vaccines. Why would I care if you wear a mask?

    • Ownbestenemy

      Huh…CDC said you all good if poked. I wonder why Americans are lost when it comes to the information they are receiving…

    • Urthona

      Except the vaccine takes more than two weeks to work so this doesn’t even mean anything.

      • Ownbestenemy

        No no no. Don’t you remember how to run the articles. Sturgis just happened? Run a headline the next day on the new numbers and equate it. Christmas parties? Jan 1 numbers up 5000%.

    • Damaged Man

      0.01 percent? we are all gonna DIE!!!!!!!!!

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      I thought the vaccine doesn’t necessarily prevent you from getting the virus. It just keeps the symptoms from being too bad.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Depends on who you listen to and on what day.

      • Urthona

        I mean define “getting the virus”.

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        Testing positive on a PCR test with too many cycles.

      • Urthona

        ha

        I guess what I’m saying is the vaccine doesn’t magically repel covid material.

        You just don’t build up enough up it to get sick and — most likely — don’t build up enough to spread it either. The latter is inconvenient for the “stay masked” narrative though.

      • westernsloper

        You mean like 99% of people who have ever got the shit even before the vaccine?

      • Hyperion

        This is exactly right.

  39. Sensei

    What could go wrong?

    One part of the answer is that Hwang set up as a family office with limited oversight and then employed financial derivatives to amass big stakes in companies without ever having to disclose them. Another part is that global banks embraced him as a lucrative customer, despite a record of insider trading and attempted market manipulation that drove him out of the hedge fund business a decade ago.

    One of World’s Greatest Hidden Fortunes Is Wiped Out in Days

    • Ownbestenemy

      I actually think its the exact opposite. Upper/Middle class folks are going to be generally all for this if it allows them to ‘live’ a normal life a la pre-2020. They welcome the badge and it elevates their status (and belonging) to a tier of their own.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Just one more addition to the permission based society.

        Everybody thinks it’s fine and dandy until they start revoking their permission slips.

      • Count Potato

        I don’t think it was lower class folks who were promoting eugenics.

      • db

        So, you’re saying you have a *template* now…

      • Ownbestenemy

        I thought it would have been a ((template))

    • Damaged Man

      Not the Yellow Star, the Mark of the Beast,
      I will not Comply,

      • Hyperion

        That’s right, Tulpa.

        They will be able to easily expand this to a CCP style social credit score type system. And they will because that’s the original intent.

  40. db

    I was at a local gun store yesterday, and an older gentleman (probably lat 70s) came in and started chatting with the guy at the counter. Seems a couple months ago, he was in a road rage incident. It’s unclear what if anything the older guy did to precipitate this, but a younger man cut him off, blocking his road, and yanked open his door, cold cocked him and then dragged him out of his car and beat the shit out of him in front of his wife. The older gentleman said the other guy smelled strongly of alcohol. He was carrying but could not reach his gun because it was pinned between his hip and the center console (holstered). The younger guy pulled him out of the car and then left the scene quickly. The older guy obviously couldn’t shoot at him since the attacker was now retreating and then was gone. The older guy said he was so caught off guard that he never really got a good ID on the attacker, so the attacker is still at large.

    Lessons learned (or reinforced):

    1. Keep your doors locked, and run the window up if you’re being approached by someone on foot.
    2. Have a plan to get to your defensive weapon in all situations.
    3. Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth. Don’t let that happen to you–you’re not going to think and act clearly once you’re attacked.
    4. Try not to piss of random people (not sure if he did anything to start this or not–obviously he’s not going to say he did if he did)

    • Ownbestenemy

      db be like

      • db

        classic scene

      • DEG

        “Office Space” is a great movie.

      • Nephilium

        I was expecting something more like this (NSFW: Language… lots and lots of language).

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      This is also a reason for leaving a car length or so between you and the car in front of you. If you get approached by somebody who’s up to no good, you can crank the wheel and gun it.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Me: Son, I want you to stop to where it looks like 4-6 inches of road between dashboard and the vehicle’s tires in front you.
        Son: Why?
        Me: So we can get the frack outta here in a heartbeat – car accident, rear ended, or someone tries to overcome our vehicle.
        Son: Okay.

    • creech

      Get the license plate number, make and color of car as soon as the asshole stops in front of you.

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      Lessons learned (or reinforced):

      5. Get a dashcam

      Especially for video evidence supporting your need for lethal force once you get to your defensive weapon. This was one of my takeaways from watching Antifa mob cars.

      I still haven’t gotten one though. It’s on my list and I need to follow through.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I want to find one that supports automatic upload to home network.

      • db

        If your cam writes files frequently, you can use Nextcloud and the InstantUpdate plugin app to watch the appropriate directory on your phone/device (obvs, the device must support the Nextcloud app). I have all my photos uploaded instantly this way, as well as my notes, etc.

    • DrOtto

      I had something like this happen 4 years ago. My doors were locked and the pounding on the window stopped the second the Barretta came out. The guy’s car had broken down and he originally stepped in front of my car and demanded I push. I had originally contemplated helping him till he made the demand that I help and he appeared intoxicated, at which point I told him there is a nice way to ask for help and that he had failed in that endeavor. That’s what set him off.

  41. Hank

    “A recent report by California State University’s Center for the Study of Hate and Extremism (CSUSB) found that, of America’s 16 largest cities, New York had the highest number anti-Asian hate crimes reported to police in 2020, and also the largest annual increase by far.”

    How could this happen?

    “New York City, one of America’s most liberal and diverse” is “paradoxically, a city leading the rise in reported anti-Asian hate crimes.”

    It wouldn’t be paroxical if it happened in, say, Utah.

    But how has racial hatred extended its tentacles into New York, the most lovingest city in the world?

    https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/liberal-new-york-city-leads-rise-in-anti-asian-hate-crimes/ar-BB1fanQs

    • Sensei

      Do you want to guess the ethnicity of the alleged perpetrators?

      • slumbrew

        “Shut up shut up shut up!”, they explained.

        just kidding, the real answer is “white supremacy makes black people attack asians”

      • Sensei

        Exactly!

      • Hyperion

        Just like global warming and bad orange man, that’s the cause no matter what, because we don’t need any more causes when we already found (invented) the correct one.

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      I think most of the Asians/Pacific Islanders (I refuse to use AAPI) in Utah, are Polynesians. You don’t want to mess with them.

      • Sensei

        You remember Antoine Roccamora, half black, half Samoan, used to call him Tony Rocky Horror?

      • Count Potato

        Who would leave Hawaii for Utah weather?

      • Hank

        Warm weather doesn’t automatically translate into jobs.

        Well, now it does, but traditionally…

      • Ownbestenemy

        Vegas is considered the Ninth Island…Hawaiians love them some gambling.

      • Old Man With Candy

        Me, in a nanosecond.

      • Ownbestenemy

        The Chosen and the Tribe mix well together?

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        Lots of Mormon Polynesians.

      • zwak

        Mormons. There were a whole lot of Mormon missionaries in the islands.

    • creech

      Most of these “hate crimes” seem to be muggings, store robberies, and random sluggings by yoot that have been going on for years. I guess we need to start counting as hate crimes the number of Whites who are mugged or otherwise assaulted and robbed by Colored Persons.

      • rhywun

        A lot of them are committed by no-shit crazy people. And yes, a lot of them are crazies of color. This will of course be chalked up to “systemic racism” or some such bullshit instead of what it really is which is that America has largely given up on treating the mentally ill.

    • rhywun

      How to lie with statistics.

      There were 28 recorded last year in New York City as the pandemic and anger at China inflamed racist hatred towards Asians, an 833 percent rise from 2019

      OFFS! In a city with eight million people, who have been hectored incessantly to perceive every slight as HaTe.

      Go fuck yourselves.

      • Sensei

        I love it when they do that or change the base to something other than 10.

        For example 8 out of 14 Newsweek reporters couldn’t get another job because their math skills were too poor. What the hell does that mean?

        Oh 57%… Got it.

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        Except Newsweek reported it as 14 out of 8 reporters couldn’t get another job.

      • Hyperion

        It means that they are especially unlikeable people and all their co-workers will hate them.

    • Ownbestenemy

      One explanation is obvious: Asians are increasingly targeted because of the COVID-19 pandemic that originated in China.

      Or we just made that up on our own and passed it off as news/facts.

      • Hyperion

        Asians are now the targets of racism because they were thinking for themselves in too large of numbers. That’s dangerous, people cannot just think whatever they want to!

        The left started thinking that these guys might escape from being assimilated into their plantation of ‘all my problems is because WYPIPO’. So, here we go…

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        There was a report on the local news today about how reported incidents of child abuse are down, but that doesn’t mean the true rate has declined. That’s probably an accurate report, but I wish they would apply that to anti-Asian hate crimes or hate crimes in general or sexual assault or every other cause du jour.

    • Sensei

      This would appear to go against the trend however.

      Charges Dropped Over Gemballa Mirage GT Driver’s Wild Wrecking Rampage in NYC

      Video of the incident, which happened last April, shows Chen losing control at high speed on the arrow-straight 11th Avenue in New York City before slamming into a stationary minivan. After that, he continues driving, hitting several other parked cars before finally coming to a stop and being detained by the NYPD.

      Chen is clearly out of it in the clips posted to the internet; he prompts a “Where are you going?” from an officer after giving his engine a few weak revs. As to why he decided to do all of this at 7:30 a.m., we’re not sure, but he’s hardly being punished for it.

      A quote from this week’s court hearing reads, “The People are moving to dismiss this matter because the case cannot be proven beyond a reasonable doubt.”

  42. Gustave Lytton

    Great movie fights never staged

    “I work for Mel Brooks” vs “I work for Dick Jones”

  43. Hyperion

    “A Dementia-Like Illness Has Sickened Over 40 People in Canada”

    We used to just call that brain freeze.

  44. Ownbestenemy

    The Bee killing it.

    +1 Racial stereotype lead picture

    • C. Anacreon

      Legit LOL at that photo

      • westernsloper

        Would have been better if the kid was wearing a free moustache rides t-shirt.

      • Urthona

        It’s the Babylon Bee though.

        we should start our own humor newspaper. With hookers. and blackjack.

    • Sensei

      She’s back! I remember when she got locked up.

      Loved this bit:

      “She also stayed at The Nomad Hotel – where rooms can cost nearly $300 a night – and shared photos of wine and caviar in her suite. ”

      In Manhattan just about any hotel that isn’t bedbug, rodent and cockroach infested is going to have a published room rate of $300 a night.

    • slumbrew

      Wife & I watched an “American Greed” episode about her a couple months back. Really entertaining.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      I may try to sneak in so long as wife doesn’t want to do something.

    • westernsloper

      School night. No zooming. I need this job.

    • Ted S.

      What’s challenging about masturbation?

    • mock-star

      Is that a model of The Killdozer on top of the priming machine?

  45. westernsloper

    descend like locusts on the campaigns of my foes.

    I can do this, at what age do you youthfully identify so I can outrage in the right direction.

    • Rat on a train

      What is the Libertarian Party? A joke.

      I thought real stories were in Not-The-Bee.

  46. Gustave Lytton

    Oh yay. Some imbeciles and their underage puppets are marching tonight, demanding a Stone Age existence.

    • kinnath

      Welcome to the new dark ages.

  47. Hank

    “On a personal note, I call to you, the good people of Glibertaria, to back me in my quest to be the Youth Inaugural Poet in 2024. Petition your congresspeople, protest your local poetry bureaucracies, riot at your state poetry warehouses, descend like locusts on the campaigns of my foes.”

    I dunno, man, these other inaugural poets left some pretty big shoes to fill.

    https://poets.org/inaugural-poems-history

    Just kidding. They make Vogon poetry sound like Shakespeare. Even Robert Frost’s JFK inaugural poem sucked.

    Maybe a joint appointment of you and Agile Cyborg?

    • Gustave Lytton

      Robert Service > Robert Frost

  48. hayeksplosives

    You idiots are National treasures.

    I went to a restaurant today (in SoCal) that has a Guy Fawkes mask on the liquor bottle display behind the bar. They have a chalkboard with: NEVER SURRENDER, ‘Murica!, and LIVE FREE OR DIE written on it.

    Good food too.

    When the Karens have lost California…