BLC’s Encounters with Police – Part 1 – My Second Speeding Ticket

by | Apr 22, 2021 | Cops, Musings | 234 comments

white and black Sheriff vehicle

 

My second speeding ticket. Approximately summer 2005.

It was somewhere in Illinois on a two lane highway. I had just spent the weekend boozing it up with a friend from college in his hometown. I was driving along in my 91 bright red Trans Am. I had the t-tops off, music blaring, and the dog in the back seat. I knew I was cop bait material in that car, I mean I was an out of state 22 year old in a red sports car.  I wasn’t really speeding. If I remember correctly, I was going about 60ish in a 55. It was Sunday afternoon with plenty of light still on the horizon.

Like mine exactly, but not mine

As I rolled into a small town (if you could even call it that), I saw the speed limit do its typical drop from 55 to 35. I tapped the brake pedal to turn off the cruise control and coast to a lower speed through town. As the needle descended on my dash, I saw the cop with his radar gun out, pointed right at me. I looked down, I was still at 45 right as I was passing the “Speed Limit 35” sign. I saw the cop lower his gun with an unmistaken look of “I’ve got ya!”

 

 

I pulled over in a vacant lot of a closed gas station before he even had his lights on. As I sat there watching him walk towards me, I was hoping that I would get off with a warning, I mean really, 45 in a 35, and I was still slowing. Clearly I wasn’t looking to fly through this little town, even if it affected no one.

My hopes for a warning were dashed quickly when the officer arrived at my side. I had been expecting the “do you know how fast you were going” or “did you see the speed limit sign” typical type of questioning. That’s not what I got. The officer arrived at my side, mirrored sunglasses lowered, and said, “son, we don’t tolerate speeding in my town.” I’m afraid I couldn’t help myself, but the next words out of my mouth were some of the best I’ve ever spoken, even if involuntary. “Well, apparently you tolerate assholes!”

Clearly there was no more chance for a warning.

The officer went back to his car in a huff with my license. He promptly returned with my $220 ticket. Then the asshole did one more thing. He tried to play nice and warned me deer circled the town at dusk, which had befallen us rather quickly and told me to be careful. I kept my tongue shut that time. But, it enraged me nonetheless.

That was my second and last ticket, over 15 years ago now. I’ve never actually gotten a ticket when I probably deserved one, always warnings. And I’ve never gotten one in my home state, always when out on the road.

 

 

*Note, there is no story on my first speeding ticket, I went over a hill at 75 in a 60 and got popped, rather uneventful.

 

About The Author

banginglc1

banginglc1

234 Comments

  1. leon

    The fact that you are still alive and that the cop didn’t shoot your white* ass means that there is obvious systemic racisim.

    * Obviously Banginglc1 is white, because he didn’t get shot and so used white privilege. In my book that makes you white.

    • Psycho Effer

      Most of my leftist friends think white skin is like a forcefield deflecting cop’s bullets.

      • TARDis

        leftist friends

        Does not compute. I can understand having a leftist GF who is hot, uninhibited, cooks well, and isn’t too needy; but not some dudes that see everything through the lens of race.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        School / childhood loyalty?

      • db

        I have a good friend whom I have known since we were in the fourth grade together. I’m pretty sure he’s a raging lefty bordering on Commie (in fact, he has told me he is a leftist), but I’m not on any social media so I don’t see anything he posts, and anytime he even comes close to a political tangent, I ignore it and redirect the conversation. I value his company and his knowledge of music and the culinary arts, so I don’t let it affect our friendship anymore. About 25 years ago, when he started turning left, I let it piss me off and I softly broke contact with him for about 15 years without letting him know why. But now we are back to being friends again, although a bit more guarded than before. If he insisted on political discussions, I’d probably drift away again, because I don’t need that stress. But otherwise, I’m very glad we’re friends and can get along outside the political realm.

      • TARDis

        It’s good that you can do that. If you have common interests that can steer clear of politics, then I can see getting along. These days it just seems much harder because woke authoritarianism has been injected into everything. Watch a movie? Nope. Go to a game? Nope. Volunteer for a community project? Nope.

        Maybe just some fishing, beer drinking, and STFU. I guess that’ll work.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        I have a very good friend who is far left. A proud SJW and believer in GW.

        We have decided that there are some topics that we can no longer discuss.

      • Wood Chipped Wednesday

        Like half of my friends are the leftist bullshit, I tend to stay away with politics with them, the other half are like libertarian, but identify as republicans

      • juris imprudent

        I have more than my share of friends left of center (from near to far) courtesy of my years in California and going to Burning Man. It’s not like I’m out to collect any new ones and my tolerance for the ones I have waxes and wanes. Those that value my friendship don’t go progressive preacher mode on me.

      • DEG

        Most of my leftist friends think white skin is like a forcefield deflecting cop’s bullets.

        Daniel Shaver’s must have been defective.

  2. UnCivilServant

    I… I have not had a speeding ticket. I’ve not even been pulled over. I think it’s because I’m the most boring driver on the road.

  3. Sean

    Back in the day, my red Z28 certainly attracted the narrowed gaze of the police.

    • db

      Would you say you were nearly driven to tears by your bitchin’ camaro?

      • Mad Scientist

        Now he’s in all the papers.

  4. Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

    I got one ticket in New York but never bothered to pay it because I figured I wouldn’t go back there for a long time. It’s been a few decades now.

    I got another ticket because the cop was riding my bumper during the early morning commute before dawn. I sped up just to get that asshole off my tail without knowing it was a cop.

    The last one I got was by a traffic camera in Spain, which was pretty stupid of me since they have signs that tell you that traffic cameras are coming up, but no hablo espanol bien.

    • UnCivilServant

      An unpaid ticket can result in a bench warrent which is enforcable across state lines.

      • robc

        I had an unpaid Indiana ticket for more than a decade until they integrated systems cross-state and I had to pay it to avoid that very issue.

      • Not Adahn

        NY and QC exchange traffic violation information so you can get the hit on your insurance.

    • db

      I once brake-checked an asshole who was on my bumper so close I couldn’t see their headlights for about a mile on a six-lane highway. Of course it was a cop. DOH! The officer told me he was going to write me up for reckless driving, so I told him I would go to court and explain to the judge the full situation, and that the cop had tailgated me so closely for a mile that I was frightened–not knowing it was a cop, I tried to get the threatening car off my tail.

      The cop backed off on the reckless driving charge but got me on the technicality that I hadn’t signed my car registration form. That’s a $200+ fine in PA, after all the bullshit fees they tack on.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        This reminds me that I (we) need a dashcam, front and rear.

      • TARDis

        I’d rather have headlamp 7.62mm mini-guns and a rear pop-up shark launcher.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        ¿los cuatros?

      • Stillhunter

        Do the sharks have frickin laser beams? Then yeah!

    • Rebel Scum

      I got another ticket because the cop was riding my bumper during the early morning commute before dawn. I sped up just to get that asshole off my tail without knowing it was a cop.

      This is how I got my first speeding ticket. Unmarked State Revenue Agen – uh- Trooper tailgated me down the highway until I needed to exit. He hit the lights and I found a church parking lot just passed the ramp on the road I exited to. He huffed up to my door and very rudely asked why I didn’t stop sooner. “Would you prefer I stop on a high traffic off ramp during rush hour?” Then he stormed back to write the ticket after getting my license and registration. I pay your salary, asshole. Show me a little respect.

      • Bobarian LMD

        because the cop was riding my bumper…

        I got a ticket for running a red light for this reason. I’m on main street, going 25 in a 25, when a car with it’s hi-beams on whips out onto the road and immediately starts tailgating me. Close enough that I can no longer see the headlights in the rearview.

        “What the fuck is this prick doing?”

        I’m so concentrated on him in my rearview that the green light has turned yellow as I’m approaching and goes to red as I’m 5ft out of the intersection.

        I can’t panic stop because of the tail-gating asshole, who then gives me ticket for the red light.

        I tried talking to revenue collecting prick and then called him that after he wrote me the ticket that he caused.

        Towns outside military posts love to give tickets to soldiers.

      • Ozymandias

        I had a fucking motorcycle cop – the lowest of all forms of cop – come blasting up on me in CA while I was in between lanes dead-stopped at a light. I’m completely legal, but I can see he’s timing the light so when it goes green he’s coming up on me and fast. As a fucking motorcycle courtesy, I opened up my FZ1 in first gear and blew off the line and then quickly moved over so he could go by. He stays right on me and then hits his lights.
        When he comes up he’s all, “do you know how fast….?!?”
        And I flip up my visor and yell (so he can hear me under my helmet), “I was getting out of your way!!”
        And he starts screaming, “OH NO YOU WEREN’T!! YOU CAN’T BLAME ME!!!” I told him to ” just give me the fucking ticket, then.” I also remembered at that moment that I had my unregistered .357 in my backback and I was in CA. So maybe I should just STFU and get out of there.
        …But fuck that guy.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Bike cops really are the worst. They all think they are in some TV show.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Even other cops hate “Motors”.

  5. robc

    Best look I have ever gotten from a cop (which was my last ticket, I think, nearly 20 years ago):

    Cop: Blah blah blah about traffic school.

    Me: You can skip the traffic school stuff, I was there last month.

    Cop: [stares incredulously, has no idea what to say next, just hands me my ticket and wanders back to his car]

  6. db

    I have noticed that as the cars I drive get newer, more expensive and luxurious, the cops have moved away from speeding tickets to “failure to obey a traffic control device,” which carries the same fines, but no points on the license. I assume their logic is people driving nicer cars will just pay the fine if there are no points involved, whereas people will fight tickets that carry points or if they can’t afford the fine. More evidence, if any were ever needed, that speeding laws are more about revenue than safety.

    • Sean

      My last ticket was 29 over and written as such. At court (always go to court!), the officer recommended switching my ticket to the traffic control charge to the judge. The judge was hesitant and said they usually only cut them in half, but would make an exception at the cop’s request and the judge “better not see me anytime soon.” Sometimes being nice and cordial pays off. This was at least 7 years ago.

  7. juris imprudent

    I have one speeding ticket to my name in 45 years of driving. I deserved it; in fact I’ve deserved more than once, so I didn’t complain then and I don’t now.

    The only bullshit stop I’ve ever been subjected to was getting through a light late (but still yellow) in the wee hours of the morning when the cop was looking for drunks. I saw him and was pulled over before he had swung in behind with his lights on and had my license, registration and insurance in my hand before he got to the window.

  8. TARDis

    I got out of my last ticket somehow, and the cop even thanked for pulling in to a turnout instead putting us in an unsafe situation. I’m pretty sure I was doing over 50 in a 35 residential zone. I blame it on my son, aspie butthead that he is sometimes.

  9. The Hyperbole

    2 out of the 3 times I’ve been pulled over for speeding I also wasn’t wearing my seatbelt, those two times the cop gave me a seatbelt ticket instead of a speeding ticket, less money and no points, the third time I got the speeding ticket. Moral of the story – If you are going to speed don’t wear your seatbelt.

    • Tulip

      You should put your picture on your avatars t-shirt.

      • leon

        Needs more recursion.

      • slumbrew

        20 GOTO leon

      • Tulip

        Very cool, but I meant *your* photo.

  10. Hank

    There’s a road I go sometimes with a rapid 55-35 reduction, because someone put a small town in the middle of the highway. Naturally I try to slow in time – what am I, an anarchist? – but I imagine if they wanted to set up a speed-trap they could find instances where I didn’t get all the way down to 35 in the interval required.

    • TARDis

      I think GA passed a law that states you have a certain distance to attain the new speed limit, and cops have to be visible from specified distance as well.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Sounds like route 93 through the Great Basin. Most cars are cruising along at 90-110 until you come to a town and its 75-55-30 in probably a miles time. Or at least it felt that way when I was a kid taking trips up to Idaho.

  11. Animal

    Years ago, I was up in front of a Winnesheik County magistrate for reckless driving – was doing 60 in a 25, on a motorcyle, at night, with the throttle locked and standing on the seat, “surfing.” He hit me with a fine that was substantial in late-Seventies standards, and I think four points.

    About thirteen-fourteen years later, Mrs. Animal and I were getting married in my folk’s yard. Mom had arranged for a local magistrate to come officiate. Had to get a guy to come all the way out from Calmar, as it was on Memorial Day. Guess who it was.

    If he recognized me, he was cool enough not to say anything. He just ran through the bare-bones legal ceremony, blowing cheap bourbon fumes over us the whole time, got my name wrong when he introduced us as Mr. and Mrs., then split, probably to continue destroying his liver.

    • Hank

      ‘was doing 60 in a 25, on a motorcyle, at night, with the throttle locked and standing on the seat, “surfing.”’

      OK, you win.

      • Animal

        I was eighteen, and an idiot – but I repeat myself.

      • Ozymandias

        I fuckin’ love this guy. ^^^
        My spirit animal, Animal… (animal.)

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Yeah, he wins

      • Wood Chipped Wednesday

        Should’ve had one leg off too

  12. tripacer

    I flew home on leave back in 2007. While I was home, i used my 72′ Swinger to get around. Driving up to Port Angeles on hwy 101 to visit my girlfriend, I was stuck behind slow people for 20 miles or so. When i finally got a chance to pass I did, and slowed back down to speed limit. State cop didn’t see it that way. I of course was furious, and just to show him, i got pulled over by his sherriff friend 5 miles later. I don’t know what info he saw when he ran my plates, but he didn’t say anything.

    • R C Dean

      I got pulled over recently for staying in the left lane too long on the frickin’ interstate. I was in the left lane because there was construction on the right side of the road. I’m an obvious taxpayer, so I don’t think anything other than a warning was ever in thee cards. I happened to have my hospital badge on, and waddayaknow, some relative of the cop’s works here. We wound up having a chat about the ammo shortage; I’m half convinced he pulled me over because I can’t resist putting stickers on my back window, and have a Springfield Armory sticker there (probably not a good idea, I know).

      If there’s nothing you can do about getting pulled over (and there isn’t), you can only make it worse by not being civil.

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        I wouldn’t mind if cops gave more tickets to people hanging out in the left lane, though in your case it was probably ok.

  13. grrizzly

    Four years ago I received two speeding tickets in South Australia. It was a speeding camera, I was not stopped. Each of them was for AUS$423. I exceeded the speed limit by 11km/h (7mph)–twice within 1 minute on the same road. I thought the amount was outrageous (1 Australian dollar was something like $0.80) and didn’t pay. I read somewhere that these tickets disappear from the system after 3 years, I didn’t plan to return to Australia so quickly. Obviously now it’s even less of a concern.

    Around the same time I got a speeding ticket in France, again from a speeding camera. It was something like 45 or 50 Euros. I quickly paid it and forgot about it. Governments, don’t be greedy.

    • Hank

      Crikey, mate, when you visit Australia, slow down so you can take it all in! And give the giant spiders a fighting chance of catching up to you!

      • Bobarian LMD

        I understood, from my time watching a documentary about Australian hero Max Rockatansky that there is no speed limit there.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        ? XING

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      I figured they all drove like Mad Max.

  14. R C Dean

    I’m afraid I couldn’t help myself, but the next words out of my mouth were some of the best I’ve ever spoken, even if involuntary. “Well, apparently you tolerate assholes!”

    Ya, bro, you fucked up. Would have gotten the ticket anyway, as an out of towner, but that kind of remark is all downside, no upside. Speed traps are what they are, no sense bitching about them in the moment.

    Honestly, I think the cop did the right thing with his friendly warning about the deer (although I lack the context that could have made it something other than a friendly warning). He could have done a lot worse, if he had wanted to.

  15. leon

    Sorry to go OT, but i just saw some footage of the protests that erupted after the attempted stabbing. I’ll give it to BLM and what not, they must have stashes of equipment located throughout the country to get things put together so fast. There’s a video where the protestors have lined the streets with plywood sidewalls, all the same size, with the phrase “The whole System is racist” written across sequential shields.

    • Sean

      There was video last summer of exactly that. Parked rental truck filled with supplies ready to go at a moments notice.

    • R C Dean

      The police chief should make an announcement:

      “As requested by The Community(r), and in the spirit of respecting the cultural traditions and practices of our residents, police officers will no longer intervene in active hostilities betweens minorities.”

      • Ed Wuncler

        “And for the white liberals who want to defund the police, please feel free to set up a Go Fund Me to help pay for the private police that will be needed in the inner cities because we aren’t going back in those areas anymore.”

    • Ed Wuncler

      On Foosebook, an R&B singer tried to say that this shooting was racially motivated and a lot of commenters who are black was like, “This shooting while sad was justified and what was the cop suppose to do?”

      • R C Dean

        I’m struggling with the idea that getting a feral asocial off the streets is “sad”, but I’m a bad person.

      • juris imprudent

        She was just a poor misunderstood yoot – with just a momma, and in foster care – for unknown reasons.

      • leon

        ^^^ I was going to add something like this, but couldn’t fully flesh my conclusions. There is reason to understand that these people are fully organized. However there is something optimistic to understand that they must create these protests. I’d garner that you ask the regular person that lives on the street and they will say that the shoot was good and that they would rather have the police in their neighborhood than the race war grifters.

      • Ed Wuncler

        Most of the race grifters wouldn’t be caught dead living in the hood. This acquaintance I know who works at some equity place and who goes on and on about race lives in a fucking high rise in Downtown Chicago. Their whole world view is disconnected from the life of a black person in the inner cities.

      • Mad Scientist

        It doesn’t matter what the cops do in that situation. If they had let the stabby chick commence to stabbin’ then they’re racist for not protecting the girl in pink. Taze the stabber and they’re racist for not just talking to her. Talk her down and drive her home and deliver her safely to her mother and they’re racist for interfering in black culture.

      • Ed Wuncler

        It’s like the kid in Chicago who got shot by the police officer. No one bothered to ask what was this thirteen year old doing out at 2:30 in the morning carrying a gun?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Admittedly, the presumption that black culture involves knife fights between teenage girls is one I wasn’t expecting to hear.

      • juris imprudent

        Apparently there is much about street life that us sheltered suburban and rural white folks is ignorant about.

    • Drake

      New footage of the stabby girl getting shot.

      She, the guy with her, seem to give no fucks that 3 cops are rolling up them. 3 feet from the cop, the guy is trying to kick somebody in the head while the girl is trying to kill somebody.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Where is the pink-clad girl right now, and how did these main four know one another?

      • The Hyperbole

        48 hour rule and all, but I’m hesitant to put a ton of blame on the knife wielder just yet, I heard early reports that she was the one who made the initial 911 call, and that call came in 12 minutes before the cops arrived. A lot can happen in 12 minutes, could be the dead girl was defending herself, and had the worst timing in the world, just gaining the upper hand exactly when the Law shows up. I’m not saying that happened just that it’s early days and I don’t have any idea what was going down prior to the shooting.

      • kinnath

        That was all really quick.

      • slumbrew

        could be the dead girl was defending herself, and had the worst timing in the world, just gaining the upper hand exactly when the Law shows up.

        Did you watch the video Drake linked to? I don’t see how you could get that interpretation from the video – either the neighbor’s or the bodycam.

      • The Hyperbole

        No not until Mad Sci. posted it, I only saw the initial body cam, which looked to me like the officer was walking into a melee, I admit I didn’t Zapruder either videos, and I only watched the body cam one once or twice. Yeah, the neighbor’s view gives a lot more perspective.

      • slumbrew

        I saw your response after I posted;

        the neighbor’s video _really_ underscores what a crazy attack that was – she essentially waits until the police arrive before attempting to stab a couple of people.

      • R C Dean

        The backstory will be interesting, especially if reports that Sista Stabby made the initial 911 call pan out (which definitely also falls under the 48 hour rule). I’m struggling to see how attempting to stab someone is self-defense, unless you are in a genuine 2-way knife fight, and I have seen no indication that Pink Chick had a shiv.

        Also unexplained – who was the dude kicking the other chick, and was he arrested?

      • slumbrew

        The neighbor’s video is really clarifying, since it doesn’t start in medias res, like the bodycam.

        She was just standing there before lunging at attempted victim #1 and immediately pivots to trying to stab Pink Chick. Hard to see self-defense there.

        Trying to kick someone in the head while they’re on the ground, right in front of the cop, is a bold move. No fucks, indeed.

  16. Ed Wuncler

    I was walking from the train station going to my Dad’s house in Forest Park ( a suburb of Chicago) when a police officer suddenly appeared in his squad car and proceeded to ask me in an aggressive manner a bunch of questions like where I was coming from and why was I in Forest Park. Apparently a theft just happened a couple of blocks from the train station but what made me sort of incredulous was that I looked like fucking Mister Rodgers with a cardigan on and casual shoes.

    He wanted to take me to the station but I rebuffed that he could call the university and they’ll show him proof that I was in my dorm at the time of the robbery and that even if he brings me to the station I wasn’t going to say anything until I was able to get a lawyer. The officer let me go but I wanted to pass out in fear.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      fucking Mister Rodgers with a cardigan on and casual shoes

      Needed suspenders too

      • Bobarian LMD

        This is where you fucked up…

        Mister Rogers did not go outside in casual shoes.

      • Ed Wuncler

        Lol. He put on those sneakers.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Or the cardigan, for that matter.

        Outdoor: Blazer and Dress Shoes.

        “During each episode, he’d change out of his suit jacket and dress shoes into his cardigan and sneakers, much like a parent returning home from work might do to enjoy some leisure time with his kids.”

      • Wood Chipped Wednesday

        Know what fuck it, full carhart suspenders

  17. Not Adahn

    None of my speeding ticket stories are entertaining. I used to get one every 7-8 months like clockwork. Once in some godawful POS little Texas town between Bryan and West (you’ll need to be more specific!) with one of those 65-55-35-25 progressions that occur over the space of about 200 yards. They were never close enough together that I had to do more than pay and take traffic school (only once in person — the rest were a videotap from Blockbuster).

    For some reason, I don’t get them anymore. I have no idea why. I think cops just don’t give them out. When I’ve been pulled over here in NY, it’s always been for nonsense like window tint or expired registration sticker, never my constant speeding.

    I did get flashed twice by speed cameras in VT (they love putting hte camera around a bend at the same time the speed limit drops by 20mph, but fortunately at the time I didn’t have a front license plate on my car.

    • R C Dean

      I was always tempted to give the cameras at intersections in Tucson the finger as I drove through, but there was always oncoming traffic, and I didn’t want to set off a road rager.

      • DEG

        A former roommate of mine who lives in Philly got a ticket for running a red light at an intersection with a red light camera.

        He received the ticket in the mail. As he’s going through the paperwork, he said to himself, “How the fuck do they know I was driving my car? I’ve lent it out to other people.” The next piece of paper he went through had a picture showing him in the driver’s seat driving his car through the intersection. At that intersection, and maybe others, the city had set up multiple cameras all hooked up together so that the city could get a picture of the driver of the vehicle.

      • Ownbestenemy

        That is when you show the members of the jury deep fakes and that should be reasonable doubt in their minds – time to test how the people really feel about their government that has been spying on them 😉

      • DEG

        Photoshop was a thing then, but this was long before any news stories about deep fakes.

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        That will make me think twice about picking my nose while driving.

      • Nephilium

        One of the suburbs of Cleveland had a long running issue with paintballers targeting red light cameras to take them out of commission. On the other hand, when the girlfriend and I drove through PA, all of the turnpike was touchless cameras that would send you a bill (if you didn’t have the ezPass).

        I haven’t seen the bill come in the mail yet, and it’s been a month. It’s not like a state to wait to send out something that gets them revenue.

      • The Hyperbole

        You might want to check that, for reasons I can’t recall right now a few years back I didn’t have my EXpass transponder thing in my car and blew through 3 checkpoints, it was easily three four months later and I got a bill for ~300$ in penalties and late fees, I got them removed since I do have a transponder linked to that car and license plate number. I think you have 7 days or something to pay online if you blow through the checkpoints but I don’t think they will send you a bill.

  18. The Bearded Hobbit

    I was a student leader at Tech School in Biloxi Mississippi in the Air Force. One morning the Squadron Leader came out to chew out the troops for getting too many traffic tickets. I stood there smiling inside because I didn’t have a car.

    That evening I needed something at the store a few miles away so I borrowed the car of a barracks-mate. It was a 68 Road Runner, totally tricked out. I was on a back road and behaving myself when I came upon a VW van driving very slowly. I hit the accelerator to pass him and the rear tires broke loose on the wet road. Instantly there were red lights in the rear view. Stereotypical southern cop with the Smokey Bear hat and mirrored sunglasses, “you’re in a heap o’ trouble son”.

    As he went back to his car all I could think about was facing the Squadron Leader tomorrow after his rant this morning.

    The cop came back and I could tell that he was pissed. “You are the luckiest son of a bitch on the road tonight,” he growled, “I used up all of my tickets with the last guy. Get out of here!”

    • Chipwooder

      I had some friends from avionics school in Pensacola who went on to calibration technician school at Keesler. Used to make the drive over occasionally to hang out at the casinos with them.

      • TARDis

        We used to have Seabees come over from Gulfport and party get drunk in Airmen’s Club with us. Things were usually fine until the cowards in the AF got drunk enough to start shit with them.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Ours out in Holloman were Marines and Army reserves coming on an AF base strutting their shit. Luckily for us, we had a full wing of Germans and they backed us pussies up.

      • Swiss Servator

        You know who else had Germans back them up?

      • Ownbestenemy

        The Goths?

      • juris imprudent

        The English (during the Napoleonic wars)?

    • Ownbestenemy

      We used to play “Who can drink the most beers before the LA stateline” when I was out in Biloxi since MS doesn’t have any open container laws.

      • juris imprudent

        Wow, I thought that was just in TX (open containers).

      • Ownbestenemy

        I think even TX has caved no? Obviously if a cop wanted to get a fat quota day in he had two cars, each with a DD, but 4-5 airmen all pissed 20 miles into the drive.

      • Not Adahn

        Yup. TX got an open container law back in the 20th century.

      • Necron 99

        I was in high school when I had to run some errands with my mom, who was a high functioning alcoholic. Cop pulls her over on the rural highway and she hands me her drink and say, “when I say now, open the door, pour this out and put the cup behind the seat” (pickup.) So there I was, a partner in crime, tampering with evidence at the age of 16. We got away with it too. Mom was nearly in the middle seat leaned away from the cop while talking to him, I was stiffening a laugh.

      • Necron 99

        Stiffening – stifling

  19. Stillhunter

    Anyone else get the USPS scam text? Wife yesterday. Me just now. We both went straight to: is this something to do with their spying program?

    • blighted_non_millenial

      Got it yesterday or the day before. Do not click. I assume it’s to try to download shit on your phone and nothing to do with the actual usps.

      • Stillhunter

        There’s no chance I’d click it. It’s an obvious scam. The day scammers use proper grammar and sentence structure is the day it gets real.

      • juris imprudent

        C’mon, from USPS and you wouldn’t expect typos and yacked grammar? How long since you’ve been in a post office?

      • Ownbestenemy

        Or its actually USPS and its malware to track you evil anarchists.

  20. Rebel Scum

    A Democrat State of mind.

    The divided House Thursday passed legislation to make Washington, D.C., the 51st state and to grant its more than 700,000 residents full representation in Congress.

    The strictly party-line vote in the House was 216 to 208, with all Republicans rejecting the statehood bill, dubbed H.R. 51. The legislation has support from President Biden but faces long odds of passing in the 50-50 split Senate.

    Debate over statehood got particularly heated on the House floor Thursday when New York Democrat Rep. Mondaire Jones accused certain Republicans of being against D.C. statehood because the district was not White enough in their minds to qualify for self-rule.

    “I have had enough of my colleagues’ racist insinuations that somehow that people of Washington, D.C., are incapable or even unworthy of our democracy,” Jones said in a floor speech that drew a quick rebuke from Republicans. “One Senate Republican said that D.C. wouldn’t be a ‘well-rounded, working-class state.’ I had no idea there were so many syllables in the word White.”

    “Statehood for the District of Columbia is about showing respect for our democracy,” Pelosi said.

    “It’s well past the time to grant them the rights that they have been fighting for and that they deserve,” she added.

    Cede the residential and commercial land back to Maryland if you want these people to have representation.

    • Ed Wuncler

      I wished that the GOP had enough spine to ask, “If D.C. was a Republican foothold and majority white, would you guys still want D.C. as a state?”

      This is a naked political power grab and the Dems know it.

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      I thought it was specifically designed to not be a state in the Constitution so that one state couldn’t hold undo influence like Rome did during the Roman Empire.

      • juris imprudent

        The Dems dig the imperial vibe.

      • Ownbestenemy

        That piece of paper means nothing, has no teeth on it and obviously people of the country don’t care if its enforced or not.

      • kbolino

        True, though I don’t think it ever really worked out quite like that. DC was literally a swamp for a long time, and the closest equivalent to Rome up until fairly recently would have been NYC or LA rather than DC.

        The original purpose is either best served by cutting the district down to just the Federal core (WH, Capitol, Mall, etc.) or expanding it to encompass the MD/NoVa burbs too. In its current shape, DC doesn’t really make sense (not that any of the state borders are especially better).

  21. DEG

    I’ve had written warnings about speed and verbal warnings about speed from cops, but never an actual speeding ticket.

    I did get a ticket once for running a stop sign. Cars were parked right up to the stop sign in violation of PA vehicle code. Because of the short height of the stop sign and the tall vehicles (I remember a truck or two), I didn’t see the stop sign until it was too late. A cop was on the cross street, saw me, stopped me, and ticketed me. He didn’t give a shit about the folks parks right up to the sign.

  22. Chipwooder

    I was ticketed on Highway 98 in Florida once, just after getting off of the bridge into Destin. That one pissed me off immensely because I have no idea how I was singled out for a ticket. At least 4 or 5 vehicles blew by me on the bridge, yet I was the one who was pulled over.

    Fortunately, that was also the last ticket I’ve had. It was about 11 years ago. I haven’t driven any slower since, so maybe I’m just lucky.

    Back in college, I had really bad insomnia for a while and used to go driving around at night. I was coming back through Ivy, a tiny town near Charlottesville, at about 3 am one time. It was one of those towns where the speed limit suddenly drops from 45 to 25 for maybe a half mile and then goes back up to 45 when you exit the town limits. So I got pulled over, and the cop asked me if I knew how fast I was going. It was late and I wasn’t in the mood for games, so I answered honestly – “About 57 or 58, I think?” That shocked him so much that he let me off with a warning, saying that he had never had anyone answer that question honestly before. He thought it was kind of hilarious.

  23. Muzzled Woodchipper

    From the Dead Thread:

    I suppose that life changing events have an effect on what we listen to. Finishing 12 years of school and getting a job is pretty life changing. I went through some life changing shit a few years ago, and my musical tastes changed. They’re stuck on what I listened to during those events. I’m trying to grow, but it feels forced.

    Go on Bandcamp crawls. Go to an artist you know and like, then start crawling the “other artists like this” links. You’ll find loads of gems.

    Finding new music is somewhat of a passion for me.

    Here’s a good start with new music:

    https://youtu.be/-tajHRP9Cm8

  24. Ozymandias

    My best, most angry self-righteous one ever. In CT, on 95 headed south. There’s a long straight stretch of highway a little past Bridgeport. Traffic is three lanes and they’re all packed together. I’m a Marine first lieutenant with a screaming high and tight in a Chevy Corsica pulling a U-Haul with my worldly possessions in b/w duty stations, with my wife and two kids in the car. As I make my way to the front of the traffic conga line, I see that the hold up is some kind of CT DoT cop and he’s in the left lane doing exactly 55 and nobody will go past him.
    So I set the cruise control for 56 and over the next 3-5 miles I inch past this fucker. As I finally get past him, I slide over to the middle lane and then the right lane.
    He fucking pulls me over and tells me he got me for a “laned road violation” because I didn’t “pause long enough” in the middle lane. Then he looks at me while I’m burning hate through the spot in his skull between his eyes and he asks me if I’m in the military. And I’m like, “Yeah, whaddya think, huh?” indicating all of the contextual clues.
    He gives me back my license and lets me go. I called my friend the CT trooper and told him that story and he told me I should have beat the guy’s ass and that he and his friends would have backed me up. Fuck the sociopaths with badges who love to bring themselves up by standing on the rest of us. I hate those cuntes more than Al Q’aida.

    • slumbrew

      That story is made even worse by the fact that “standard” speed on 95 between Boston and, at least, NYC is “speed limit + 15 MPH”.

      Even at that speed I get passed regularly.

      55 in the left lane is utter bullshit.

  25. pistoffnick

    I got a ticket for doing 160 MPH in a 65 MPH zone in middle of nowhere Oklahoma. I was on my motorcycle and wanted to see how fast it would go (205 is about top speed for a 1994 Yamaha Seca 2, which I was doing only moments before.)

    I swear I lose a few IQ points anytime I swing a leg over a bike.

    Another time I got stopped for doing 53MPH in a 55MPH zone in Wichita. The southern cop thought I was driving too fast for the snowy conditions. I calmly explained to him that I learned how to drive in Minnesoda, I had new tires on the minivan, and there weren’t many other cars on the road.

    I always want to ask the cops how fast they were going to catch up to me and if they thought maybe they were creating more danger with their speed. I expect that might be a poor negotiating tactic.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      On the bright side, you tend not to remember the accidents that occur at 205 mph .

  26. kinnath

    19yo kinnath is driving a 69 Camaro home from work coming into small town Georgia. kinnath gets pulled over.

    Officer: Do you know how fast you were goin?

    kinnath: No idea. How fast was I?

    Officer: Don’t give me that.

    kinnath: I just finished working a 15 hour shift. I’m dead tired. I really have no idea how fast I was going.

    Officer: Too fast. I’m gonna run your tag and if you got any other speeding tickets, you’re going to get another one.

    A few minutes later.

    Officer: Well, your tag came back clean (clearly in disbelief). You slow down now and take it easy. Go get some sleep.

    He never did tell me how fast I was going.

    • Ownbestenemy

      They definitely don’t like the line “That isn’t my job to tell you how fast I was going” bit.

    • R C Dean

      Officer: Do you know how fast you were goin?

      “I plead the Fifth. I am not going to answer a potentially incriminating question without my lawyer present.”

      • Old Man With Candy

        Officer: Do you know how fast you were goin?

        “Relative to what?”

      • slumbrew

        “No, but I know exactly where I am.”

  27. Mad Scientist

    Many, many, many years ago my dad was pulled over on the turnpike in Pennsylvania. The cop asked him why he was in such a hurry, and Dad sheepishly replied that he was trying to get within range of a Cleveland radio station so he could hear the Browns game. The cop let him go, explaining he’d never heard that one before.

    • juris imprudent

      He obviously figured your dad would be punished enough by the Browns.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Ba dum tissss.

  28. Ownbestenemy

    I was driving up to Pismo Beach with the girlfriend at the *checks notes* ripe age of 17 when a CHiP pulled me over. All I was thinking was “was I speeding?” He came up and said my name and even pronounced it correctly so now I am thinking “is this family?” Turns out someone lifted my registration sticker and he was just verifying it was me, who was the registered owner. Even apologized for interrupting… Luckily my GF hadn’t gotten to the fun part of the trip yet otherwise might have been a totally different reaction to the stop.

    • Bobarian LMD

      hadn’t gotten to the fun part of the trip yet otherwise might have been a totally different reaction to the stop?

      Her screaming and begging to be saved would make for a more interesting stop.

  29. Muzzled Woodchipper

    Boy, these MFs are taking some serious liberties with explanation of statistics.

    https://policeviolencereport.org/

    In every category it shows whites as having been the victims of more police shootings than any other group, yet they still openly claim blacks are more likely to be shot by the police.

    More blacks are shot in accordance to their overall population as a percentage, but that brushes aside the fact that blacks also commit crimes at a bloated rated higher than their over population by percentage too, which means they’ll necessarily have more encounters with police.

    We cannot fix a problem if we’re not even willing to name the problem.

    We have a police using force problem in the US. We do not have a racism problem.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Raaaaaaacist

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      More whites are shot in absolute numbers. More blacks are shot on a per capita basis. More whites are shot where the denominator is arrests.

    • WTF

      Yeah don’t ever mention that while black people account for about 12% of the population, they also account for about 50% of the violent crime. Police actually kill white people at a higher rate per encounter than they kill black people.

    • kbolino

      I think it’s entirely possible that in many if not all major urban areas there are some “racist cops”, by which I mean white working stiffs who don’t like minorities. Maybe they didn’t start off that way, maybe they were all Serpicos who just got jaded, but they walk a beat and they look down on non-whites and it can affect their policing. Oftentimes their racism is due to skewed samples (whites = neighbors, nonwhites = perps). It’s not an excuse, but it is an explanation.

      Plus, it’s a good-paying blue-collar job and it is somewhat more dangerous than the average job (even if it’s not the most dangerous by a good margin) so there’s definitely an aspect of working class machismo/camaraderie/look-out-for-your-buddy-ism. None of which is wrong unto itself, but it can become toxic (as most things can). The toxic aspects are the ones that deserve focus but they are also the ones that really start implicating systems rather than disposable individuals. Witness intimidation, union thuggery, cushy contracts, “procedures were followed”, you-scratch-my-back-ism, panic fire, power trips, thin blue line, etc. Morale is important but it’s definitely not the only concern, and though “public service” has turned into a one-way martyrdom in the U.S. it does require give as well as take. See also: teachers.

      All of which is a kind of wordy way of saying that some may pull their gun sooner because of skin color. The problem I have is that you can’t measure that (implicit bias tests having no predictive power whatsoever) and you can’t focus on it to the exclusion of all the other issues.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Another issue. “Community Policing” is broke in the most down-trodden areas. The communities don’t support the police and the police aren’t from the community.

        it’s a good-paying blue-collar job. Which is why someone who works as police in West end Louisville/Watts/Harlem/North Saint Louis/etc. doesn’t live there.

        Those cops act like /are treated like they’re an occupying force.

      • kbolino

        The only real solution I see to that problem is to disassociate from the city and form a more local and more accountable government. The mayor of City X doesn’t give a fuck about downtrodden subregion Y because that’s not where the money comes from. Apart from a symbolic campaign stop (with lots of security), those parts of the city are an irrelevant blight. Race has fuck-all to do with that too, because in most cases race isn’t even a variable (about the only thing that black ghetto residents and the black aldermen who pretend to represent them have in common is their race).

        Community policing can never be implemented top-down, and it will never be implemented bottom-up as long as everyone is looking for somebody else to solve the problem.

  30. kinnath

    County Sheriff pulls up behind an old man that is speeding and turns on the lights. Old man actually speeds up when the lights come on, but then slows down and pulls over.

    Sheriff says: It’s the end of a long day. If you can tell me a story I haven’t heard before, I’ll let you go without a ticket.

    Old man says: Well a couple of years ago my wife ran off with you of you boys in uniform.

    Sheriff says: What does that have to do with my pulling you over?

    Old man says: Well, I panicked when I saw the lights came on and felt he urge to run for just a moment.

    Sheriff says: So why did you panic?

    Old man: Well, I was afraid you were bringing her back.

    Sheriff says: You have a nice day sir

    Sheriff closes his ticket book and walks back to his cruiser.

  31. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Of all the traffic stops I’ve had, the douchiest and most condescending was a national park ranger, he was worse than the campus cop that pulled me over off-campus.

    • Ownbestenemy

      I imagine it went like this?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Close. He pulled me for slow-rolling a traffic light. Once I figured out he wasn’t San Diego PD, I cut him short with “Uh yeah, that’s not an actual moving violation, you can’t give me a ticket and I’m not a student, so I’m leaving.”

      • robc

        campus cop off-campus got me for rolling stop sign. Unfortunately, in KY kampus kops have statewide jurisdiction.

        He showed up for court too. The judge slow talked him, which made my night despite losing. Then the judge died a few months later, so still a relative victory for me.

  32. UnCivilServant

    I’m trying to remind myself that this vendor’s first language was not english.

    I don’t think he realizes his email tone comes off as strongly confrontational.

    He’s just German.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      They are saving you time by coming straight to the point! (?)

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m more accustomed to the linguistic quirks of Americans and Indians. It’s impressive how different each group communicates in ostensibly the same language.

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        As the saying goes, the English and Americans are two people separated by a common language.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Did he announce all of his credentials at the beginning of the email?

      If not, he’s not a real German.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      I like all the Germans I’ve met, but they were mostly the easygoing Calif.-resident types.

      • UnCivilServant

        I haven’t actually met the guy, just exchanged emails. He’s physically in germany. There has been no communication was wasn’t business related, so I have no judge of his character as a person.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Versteht.

        Depends a lot on where in the country he is. Attitude, not character, that is.

      • Suthenboy

        Maybe bad luck but I never met a Kraut that I liked. Assholes, the lot of them.
        Maybe it is because I was pegging their wives, I dunno.

  33. mikey

    Wife’s in the middle of a pod of cars on the NY thruway everyone doing the same 10 over. Cop weaves through the pod and lights her up. She’s got MA plates everyone else had NY plates. Probably didn’t help that the Red Sox we’re beating the Yankees in the playoffs that week

    • slumbrew

      That’s some bullshit right there.

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        I don’t know. Red Sox fans deserve a good beating. They were ok when they always came up short, but when they started winning World Series they became insufferable. Now maybe Mikey’s wife isn’t a Red Sox fan, but why take the chance?

  34. Gustave Lytton

    Holy cow! Jeremy Dewitte is still getting arrested in FL. And he now has his own YouTube channel!

  35. Gender Traitor

    ::blinks, tilts head like confused Irish Setter:: Doesn’t the crying thing work for you guys to get out of speeding tickets??

    • UnCivilServant

      How? By making the cop laugh?

      /no one has sympathy for crying potato people.

      • Gender Traitor

        Not even an Irish cop?

      • juris imprudent

        Least of all.

    • Rebel Scum

      That worked for a female college acquaintance who got caught doing 50 in a 35 while traversing a bridge near campus.

      • DEG

        It worked for a friend of mine’s sister. She was stopped in Delaware doing 95 on I-95. She started crying and said she though blue sign with the 95 on it was the speed limit.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        LOL

      • Rebel Scum

        I laughed. But you have to get a 100 on the signs to get your learners, even.

      • Old Man With Candy

        “Glad I caught you before you got to 495.”

  36. Not Adahn

    I’m guessing with this weather we’re going to have a plague of sheep next month?

    “April sleeting brings May bleating.”

  37. Shpip

    Well, this is a darn shame.

    I assume that the funeral will be S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y night.

    • Not Adahn

      NPR had a long-form obituary on the guy who wrote Meatloaf’s songs yesterday.

      • rhywun

        Heaven is holding out for a hero.

        RIP

  38. Suthenboy

    If you want to catch a fish you have to get your bait to look like the natural prey of the fish. Cast your rubber worm near the cover where bass lie in wait. Let it sink to the bottom and when the ripples go away creeeeeep it sloooowly along the bottom back to you. That is how you land a fish. Act like a worm, you get bit.
    If you are using top water bait use an articulated minnow. Yank it back and forth across the top of the water in an alarming manner. Act like a wounded minnow , you get bit.

    20 years ago my stepson was late for school. I was in a hurry with a cup of coffee in my hand and I forgot to buckle my seatbelt. Less than a quarter of a mile from my house I got a ticket for not buckling up. That is the sum total of my criminal record.

    • DEG

      If you want to catch a fish you have to get your bait to look like the natural prey of the fish.

      Dating advice or fishing advice?

      • Suthenboy

        That works too. 25 years into a happy marriage as evidence.

  39. Wood Chipped Wednesday

    I can’t remember the last time my dad went to Tennessee and hasn’t gotten a speeding ticket, once I was going to a concert with him, went across the street of the place we were eating at to get cash, came back, bam ? parking ticket

  40. Wood Chipped Wednesday

    Pretty ballsy move by a cop the other day where I’m from, dudes going like 20-30 over through a pretty busy intersection doesn’t even look, goes through a turn lane too.

  41. BakedPenguin

    Sean said: (always go to court!)

    This, if possible. I got a couple tickets tossed because the cop didn’t show, and the one time he did, I plead nolo contendre and requested adjudication of points, which I got. No hit to my insurance rates.

  42. Old Man With Candy

    My last three times getting pulled over, I played the slightly confused old man. Zero tickets.

    My first speeding ticket was at the age of 16. I was driving back to Baltimore from Philadelphia down I-95, maybe 1 or 2 am. Don’t know how fast I was going because the speedometer only went to 120. I got to the Baltimore Beltway and slowed down to 65 because it was a notorious cop central. Car comes up behind me, tight against my rear bumper. Lights go on. MD state trooper. Wrote me a ticket for 60 in a 55 zone. If it had been two minutes earlier…

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      How did you explain the multiple children in the back?

      • Bobarian LMD

        Who knew a panel van could go so fast?

    • Gustave Lytton

      I got pulled over the night after I bought my second car. I only had the purchase receipt and faxed insurance binder with me. No registration yet and was going somewhere above 75 in a 55. Deputy wrote it as a 10-19 over and spared me several hundred dollars.

    • juris imprudent

      Ah, that reminds me of being the driver for the Gaelic football club, with a rented 15pax van full of guys headed from DC to Philly for a match. Big van and a pretty big engine and I’m cruising up I-95 fast lane south of Bawlmore easily doing 70-75 (with MD’s retarded 55 limit) and as I crest a hill I see the cops with radar hiding under the underpass down the hill. I slow down but I’m sure I’m dead to rights busted. So as I approach at barely 55 I make eye contact with the cop, and I swear, he sees that van full and just waves me on. No sooner do I pass him and glance in the rear view and a cute little blond in a red convertible is getting waved over.

      • Bobarian LMD

        I got popped in Illinois like that from one guy sitting on a bridge and 5 troopers along the side of the road.

        Labor Day weekend, giving tickets out to everyone on their way to Indiana. Stopped you long enough to fill out a ticket that was mostly pre-filled out.

        Fucking highway robbers.

      • CatchTheCarp

        I got pulled over by an Illinois trooper outside of Galesburg years ago. He executed a high speed grass slinging u-turn across the median in order to pull me over for going 56 in a 55. A lot of effort to go thru to give someone a warning. I suspect my out of state plates triggered him somehow.

  43. commodious spittoon

    It’s not impossible to get a speeding ticket driving a 4 cylinder, 1.6 liter sedan, but by the time I’m up to speed on the interstate I’m slowing down for the offramp.

    • Mad Scientist

      I got pulled over by an asshole Ohio state patrol officer (but I repeat myself) who claimed I was doing 75. I know when he lit me up because my radar detector went off. I was on a 65 MPH highway, and only going 60, because I was still on the fucking entrance ramp going uphill. Lying piece of shit. I told him he was full of it. He invited me to contest it in the local court, having just seen my Arizona license and knowing I would be no where near the court in 6 weeks. As if I needed another reason to hate Ohio.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I was about to say it can’t get any dumber….

    • Rebel Scum

      Sista Stabby was clearly robbed of a bright future at a premiere American university.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      You’re all expelled (if only).

  44. Necron 99

    My last 2 pull overs were for BS reasons, both ended with me taking a warning. First one was the road I travel at least a couple times a day going to pick up my son from extra-curricular activities at school. Road goes from 60, to 55, to 50 then to 40 and I pass by the cop on the side of the road in the 55 zone but by the time he pulls me over we are at my turn by the DPS station in the 40 zone. He tells me he got me going 58 in a 45. I give him my license and insurance (TX has the registration on the windshield) and he tells me he will be right back. I’m thinking I am going to court, ain’t no 45 zone on that road from one end to the other. He comes back with a warning. I asked him again how fast I was going hoping to inform him of the fact that there is no 45 zone but he says “58 in a 45” in such an asshole-ish manner that I blow it off and take the warning.

    Second one was pulling onto the same highway on a cold morning. I waited at the stop sign for about a minute letting my car warm up since there was no traffic behind me. When I got ready I look left and see a car just starting to top the hill, so I go. I get down the hill and up the next when I notice that car coming up really fast. I look harder and sure enough it is a DPS trooper. Lights go on and pull over (where the last cop was sitting on the side of the road in his “45” zone) and roll down the window. A young trooper, probably younger than my son, walks up and tells me “I’m going to give you a warning for running that stop sign back there.” That time I was indignant, “dude, I was sitting there for over a minute letting my car warm up.” He pulls out his asshole response, “I can give you a ticket and we can discuss it with a judge.” I dropped it at that point, did make me want to get a dash cam.

    • Rebel Scum

      Wow. My dyed-in-the-wool grandparents are going to love that…

      (capital gains is their entire thing. They voted for Reagan because of it but have voted Democrat ever since and believe all the leftist msm propaganda.)

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      We just want to be more like Sweden. Their capital gains tax is 30%. Ummm wait, what?

    • Ed Wuncler

      These people really don’t give a shit about incentives…don’t they?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        When you make your money as a percentage of money laundering transactions that you facilitate, who cares about the taxes on a long term investment?

      • Gustave Lytton

        +10% flat tax for the big guy

    • Animal

      Teach me to click through. One of the replies: “The middle class need that money more than you.” What the actual fuck makes you think any of that money will come to the middle class, you stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid fuckknuckle?

      • Mad Scientist

        That’s the excuse, not the motivation. What that guy wants is to punish wealth, whether he gets a share of it or not.

      • kbolino

        The power to tax is the power to destroy, but also to create favorable loopholes for the right people.

      • Suthenboy

        The dems are appealing to envy. Appeal to the worst parts of human nature and you attract the worst kinds of people. Unfortunately that wins elections.

      • kbolino

        Naturally, middle class = “under”employed college graduates with high student loan balances

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Not to mention that investment from those horrible rich folks, and it isn’t all horrible rich folks as you know, creates middle class jobs.

      • slumbrew

        Middle class folks never have capital gains. It is known.

    • slumbrew

      Cue Krugnuts explaining why this is really a good thing.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Sadly right now, it probably won’t have pushback because all these corps are clamoring for Fed favors under threat of what ever else they might have coming down the pipe.

  45. Suthenboy

    I got out of a ticket for an expired inspection ticket once.

    “Sir, do you have any weapons?”

    Me – Yes. There is a side-by-side 20 gauge in the trunk and a pistol in the console.”

    “Uh, why do you have those?”

    Me – “I am always armed for the same reason you are. The shotgun is for my son. We were shooting squirrels.” *my 8 year old son was in the car*

    “Your inspection sticker is expired.”

    Me – *walks around to the drivers door* “You are looking at it from the wrong side. That is not a one, it is a ten. I still have eight years left on it.”

    Cop cracks up. I go straight to the inspection station and get the sticker renewed.

  46. Timeloose

    I started using a radar detector when I lived inTX. Every shitwater town had a Kojac with a Kodak. The only revenue they had was from people like me driving on a dead straight road that went from 65 to 35 in half a mile.

    It paid for itself in about a month.

    Whe I was dating Mrs. Time I drove the PA turnpike every weekend and used to do 85 in a 65 every time. I got lit up a few times, but never got a ticket. I caught a few since then for the usual BS and fought them when I could. I won each case when I fought them. I had figures and satellite photos of the area, papers on Radar band cross section, etc. The judge saw my paperwork and told me I could leave.

    A few times I got pulled over and the State Police trooper tried to get me to incriminate my self. I looked like I was speeding, but my detector didn’t get pinged, so I knew he had nothing on me.

    Never admit fault.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      “You tell me, officer.”

      • R C Dean

        “If you don’t know how fast I was going, why did you pull me over?”

    • DEG

      Whe I was dating Mrs. Time I drove the PA turnpike every weekend and used to do 85 in a 65 every time.

      You should have driven 100 MPH.

  47. Sean

    So I sent one of those GOA prepared emails to my congress critter about PA constitutional carry.

    Here is his response:

    Dear Sean,

    Thanks for your recent email regarding your thoughts on Senator Dush’s Constitutional Carry legislation. I appreciate that you have come to me with your thoughts.

    I think you will be happy to know that I have already signed on as a cosponsor of this important legislation to uphold our Constitutional Rights. I have always been a proud supporter of the 2nd Amendment and am always encouraged to hear from my constituents who feel the same way that I do. I am happy that we see eye to eye on this matter, and look forward to this legislation being brought up for a vote in the near future.

    Again, thank you for reaching out to my office. Please don’t hesitate to contact me again if you have any other questions or concerns.

    Sincerely,

    Bob Mensch

  48. Necron 99

    Got two tickets in Switzerland, one from a radar camera and another for parking in a no parking zone. Couldn’t make heads or tails of the ticket as I don’t speak any of their official languages so into the round file they went.

    I fear I may never be allowed to return to the land of Alps and chocolet.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      How long ago, Tulpa?

      • Necron 99

        It has been at least ten years now. Do they have a statutes of limitation? Shall I go fuck off now.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Naw, come back. Hugs und kisses.

      • Necron 99

        Aww, I feel the love. I don’t get out much.

  49. tripacer

    My very first ticket was in a 2000 Plymouth Breeze, for doing 94 in a 70. I had actually been doing much, much faster, but jumped on the brakes when I saw the WSP speed trap. if he had been a bit quicker on the draw with his LIDAR gun it would have been much worse.
    The best part is, I was a 19 year old idiot, Private E1 helping the recruiters after AIT, and the Plymouth was a GSA car. The E7 I worked for was not pleased, but he (mostly) dropped it as long as I paid the ticket.

  50. CatchTheCarp

    I installed a dual camera dash cam (front/rear cameras) when I bought my then new car 4 years ago. One of the best things I have bought. My favorite feature is parking mode – it has good motion detection and records whenever anything moves near the car when it’s left unattended. It’s also great for when you drop your car off for service – I watched the footage of a mechanic taking my car out for a test drive after a repair – he got on it pretty good but didn’t do anything crazy. I got a kick out of his reaction when he stomped the gas – it scared him. Amazing he never realized there was dash cam in the car – it lets you know it’s there when the car is started. Plus all the blatant stupidly I’ve recorded with it while driving.

    • slumbrew

      Which model did you get? Sounds like you’d recommend it…

      • CatchTheCarp

        Yes, I’d highly recommend it. Dash cam is a Thinkware F800 Pro with dual cameras. I also have a Cellink Neo battery connected to it which is needed for parking mode. All hard wired to the fuse box – no dangling cords. Excellent video quality and it’s been reliable -no problems with it.

      • EvilSheldon

        This sounds like a pretty good article in the making…