Friday Night Sear It & Beer It – The Dread Pirate Avocado

by | Apr 23, 2021 | Beer, Food & Drink, Reviews | 233 comments

Side dish time.

About The Author

Swiss Servator

Swiss Servator

Currently serving at the pleasure of a Swiss multinational. Previously a Soldier, rugby player, lawyer, bouncer, bartender, substitute teacher, risk manager, and cubicle mushroom. Will work for raclette.

233 Comments

  1. KSuellington

    Sprinkled with soap weed and a squeeze of lime and it’s good to go.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Olive oil and pepper

    • westernsloper

      Amen. Hard would.

      • KSuellington

        Put it on some toast and you can charge a hipster 20 bucks for it.

      • Chafed

        My daughter says hi.

    • straffinrun

      There’s only one “d” in avocado?

      • blackjack

        Not to step on Derpy’s toes, but the word avocado also meant testicle, apparently because the Mexicans used to hang them under their truck bumpers or something. Likely not true because it comes from Wikipedia.

      • blackjack

        Wiki: The word “avocado” comes from the Spanish aguacate, which in turn comes from the Nahuatl word āhuacatl [aːˈwakat͡ɬ],[27] which goes back to the proto-Aztecan *pa:wa which also meant “avocado”.[28] Sometimes the Nahuatl word was used with the meaning “testicle”, probably due to the avocado’s perceived resemblance to a testicle.[29]

      • TARDis

        Shouldn’t it be scrotum, not testicle then?

      • Tejicano

        It actually comes from the Nahuatl language (Aztec) and that is what it means

      • blackjack

        Thanks, I didn’t want people to think I was nuts.

      • Sensei

        I’m amazed the stuff I learn here.

        But it’s a good bit of trivia.

      • Tejicano

        I don’t believe anybody would have thought that. I was thinking it took some balls to post what you did.

      • blackjack

        I just didn’t want anyone to get teste!

      • blackjack

        I always worry, when I dangle something like that out there.

      • Sensei

        Yes, otherwise you’d write it アボカード

    • Hyperion

      MOAR SOAPWEED! That’s always the answer.

  2. Surly Knott

    Serve it with pineapple. Optionally, in a deep dish.

  3. blackjack

    We had a huge avocado tree when I was a kid, for about a year. The first batch we ate a bunch, gave away a bunch and let the rest go to waste. The second time, we asked the local carniceria if they wanted to buy some. They enthusiastically said yes. We kept bringing box after box until they couldn’t buy anymore, hit the other two and loaded them up with avocados. We made a couple of hundred bucks selling avocados. I think I was 11 and my brother was 13. We spent it all on weed.

    • R C Dean

      “I think I was 11 and my brother was 13. We spent it all on weed.”

      ‘MURICA!

      • Sensei

        Brings a tear to the eye.

      • blackjack

        It brought some redness to our eyes.

      • blackjack

        Actually, we did buy new skateboards, like really nice skateboards, too.

    • Tundra

      Maybe the best capitalist story I’ve ever read.

      • blackjack

        Our weed dealer back then, lived right across the street from Oxnard high school. He had a tree house right above his block wall. There was a bucket on a rope and you’d yank the rope a few times and put some cash in it. He’d reel it up and drop it back down with a bag in it. It all had a kind of coolness about it. The whole deal would happen standing on the sidewalk next to the block wall.

      • Tundra

        I miss the ’80s.

      • blackjack

        I always wondered how he could spend so much time in that tree house, then I realized he had a lot of weed.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Very Sid and Nancy.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      Did you get permits to ensure the avocados weren’t poison? Pay taxes for the roads that allowed you to transport the avocados to the carniceria? YOU DIDN”T BUILD THAT!!! /literally shaking

    • Hank

      (This post not sponsored by Trader Joe’s and is intended only for educational purposes)

      • Hank

        But on second thoughts, if Trader Joe’s *did* want to sponsor this comment and cut me a check, I wouldn’t say no.

        After all, I’m a prominent social-media influencer by now, aren’t I?

      • slumbrew

        Only if you count this side as “social media”.

        (“Demented and sad, but social”)

      • Hank

        Don’t try and stop me…I’m on a roll.

        Hello, I quit my job at shoprite and now I’m making big money. If you’d like to know more, click my sketchy Web site…

      • slumbrew

        As I understand it, the real money is via OnlyFans.

    • Sensei

      See I always think of a mole with a pepper, but wiki says you moles do indeed use guacamole.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Somehow I never realized that guacamole was a mole, even thought it’s right in the name. Duh.

    • Shpip

      With a name like that, you’d figure it’d be some sort of mole.

  4. Aloysious

    mmmm…. Avocados. Good choice.

    Grilled or fresh, it must, must I say, have freshly cracked pepper sprinkled on it.

  5. creech

    Kamala was in New Hampster and apparently wrought up about only 6% of electricians being women. Someone should have asked her if that wasn’t balanced out by the fact that far more women than men were able to climb the political ladder by sleeping with their superiors.

    • blackjack

      She’s going to be the most horrible president! At least she’ll be unelected, so there’s that.

      • Tejicano

        I dunno. For those of us who haven’t lost our sense of humor it might be kinda fun.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      If they want equity with the gender of electricians they’re going to have to start forcing women into the field at gunpoint. Same with a host of other professions. Sure there’s plenty of overlap but men’s and women’s preferences are hardwired to a degree.

      • Tejicano

        Shocking, isn’t it!

      • rhywun

        Someone really needs to address the shortage of male manicurists and Sports Illustrated swimsuit models.

      • blackjack

        I can’t help but think you might be trying to tempt Sport’s Illustrated.

      • Ted S.

        He just wants to see fit guys in swim trunks.

      • rhywun

        This may or may not be me.

      • J. Frank Parnell
      • rhywun

        Sports Illustrated (SI) has become a respected brand in the modeling world.

        LOLwut? I have heard nothing but OUTRAGE! over the swimsuit issue for decades.

        Oh, wait -NOW they’re respected. I get it.

      • Chafed

        Kaitlyn Jenner wants in.

  6. Hyperion

    That guy talks like a hipster! And look, the other one’s swilling hipster juice! Hipster alert!

    But, yummy avocado! Just needs some soapweed!

  7. Hyperion

    That post I just made for some reason reminded me of this story my son was telling me.

    One of the guy’s who works with my son out on the shop floor is named Freddy and he’s this big redneck guy from up some holler down in Pikesville, KY.

    So one day, my son and his co-worker Josh were sitting out there at a table eating lunch and Freddy comes over to join them. The conversation goes like this:

    Freddy: What you boys eatin for lunch today?

    Josh: I’m having some salmon and arugula.

    Freddy: Arugula? What the fuck is that? Looks like a fucking weed to me! Arugula, that’s fucking gay! If you told someone in Kentucky you were eating arugula, they’d punch you right in the face!

    My son: Freddy, I used to live in Kentucky, I’ve never heard anyone there say arugula is gay.

    Freddy: You’re gay!

    • Ted S.

      Is P-FLAG still a thing?

      • Hyperion

        I didn’t know it was ever a thing because I don’t know what it is.

      • Tres Cool

        Me to my kid- “Sure we knew about LGBTQ when I was in high school. It was called the Drama Club.”

    • rhywun

      I’ve never heard anyone there say arugula is gay.

      I have; though, to be fair, it was probably here.

      • Tejicano

        Is that a prop or a shade? I haz confuz…

      • Tejicano

        Sorry Rhywun – I just got what you were saying and realize that I mis-read it the first time.

        When you wrote “I have” I thought you meant that you had said it was gay here – and I found that amusing.

      • rhywun

        Sometimes I don’t rite gud or cleer enuf

  8. Tres Cool

    Im off to work, kids. No topless pillow fights on Zoom unless its Tulip and KK.
    And in that case, somebody better record that ish.

    • slumbrew

      narrator: “it was Tonio. And Tonio.”

  9. mikey

    America’s leadership role in internationl diplomacy is back. I’m so proud.
    https://youtu.be/aWjYLYulALs

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        There was an article about that over on Zerohedge. He was also the only head of state without the national flag in the backdrop (maybe meaningful, maybe not).

      • Tejicano

        I guess we should be relieved he didn’t have the LGBTQ flag up or some other woke shyte,

      • rhywun

        I’m sure it’s meaningful. You don’t show up on world-leader Zoom night without planning every little detail in advance.

        Trump would have had sparklers and red, white, and blue fireworks.

      • blackjack

        Putin’s like, “Finally! Someone I can steamroll!”

    • Hyperion

      Those damn Chinese chickens all look alike to me.

  10. blackjack

    My wife drank a bunch of my beers. She replaced them, but she bought a sixpack. I only buy twelve packs because Stella comes in green bottles and the twelve pack keeps the light out. I can always taste the skunk in the six packs. Worse, she put the 6er beers in the old twelve pack box. Now, it’s a gamble which is which. Dammit.

    • Hyperion

      If my wife drank 6 beers, she’d be passed out half way on the 4th one. She’s pretty buzzed at 2.

      • blackjack

        She drinks wine. A lot of wine. I’m only good for about 4-5 beers on a weekend night, usually two or three on a week night. She probably drank 4, but she wants to reserve the right to drink more later. I’m just pissed that the skunky shit is mixed with the good stuff.

      • Chipping Pioneer

        Heh. The wife tonight was gung-ho on the local artisanal pizza place. Then she was talking on the phone with her friend and had a couple of glasses of wine and decided that the place that has delivery was the best option.

    • slumbrew

      Stella

      There’s your problem…

      I have never understood the appeal of that beer & I’m no beer snob. I’d rather drink Miller High Life.

      That said – beer in cans is excellent these days and no issues with light.

      • blackjack

        Well, it’s consistent and as long as it’s not in a six pack it’s decent. The six pack gets all lit up and skunks right out. The twelve is shrouded by the box. The good thing is, it’s almost always available and everywhere.

      • Hyperion

        Stella is almost as good as Heineken, but nothing is as good as Heineken. Stella, Carlsberg some close.

      • slumbrew

        de gustibus…

      • rhywun

        Stella and Carlsberg are new favorites of mine – never had either before a few months ago. I’m not an adventurous beer drinker (vodka is my jam).

        And Heineken is… well, OK, but not something I’ll reach for if there’s something else I prefer.

      • Tejicano

        “I’m not an adventurous beer drinker”

        I became a much more adventurous beer drinker after spending time in Germany. It seem strange to me that you could have lived there and not become one.

      • rhywun

        Well, I was 16 years old. There’s only so much adventure to be had when you’re a dorky exchange student.

        Plus, all the available here German beers are pretty similar anyway.

        Spaten is my favorite, FWIW. Though Weihenstephaner is up there.

      • slumbrew

        My impression is that German beers are quite hidebound, with much more interesting things happening elsewhere (i.e., America). Has that changed?

        The idea that bars are/were affiliated with a particular brewery and only carried their beers seemed really limiting.

      • Tejicano

        I guess if you lived in one area and didn’t get around much that might be boring after a while. But I was travelling all over, rarely in one place for more than a few days, so I got to sample a lot of different breweries. And most breweries put out a list of different beers Weissens, Dunkels, Pilzens, etc.

        Possibly my attitude was colored by the fact that my first time in Germany I had just come from living in early-90’s America where the beer scene was still just your average Budweiser or Miller.

    • Chipping Pioneer

      2, 39, 40, 41

      ¡Ay caramba!

  11. Chipping Pioneer

    I have to say that y’all ‘Muricans are lucky to live in a spot where fruit just grows on trees like that. When I lived in SoCal, I had a grapefruit tree, a lemon tree, a clementine tree, and a pomegranate tree. My nieghbours also had an orange tree from which they did not partake, so I did. It’s a great thing to wake up in the morning and go outside and grab a grapefruit for your breakfast. An old girl down the street had an avocado tree. She’d pick up the ones that fell on the ground, but I didn’t care. She sold them cheap and there was just the one bruised spot to cut out and then they were good. Now, living in the GWN, I have a crabapple tree. The squirrels raid the fruit in late winter / early spring when there is nothing else to eat.

    • Q Continuum

      At least you have Tim Horton’s…

      • Tundra

        Ours closed almost immediately.

        Their coffee sucked almost as much as Starbucks.

      • Tundra

        Not sure what that means. UofM doesn’t necessarily mean “Minnesotans”. (Although Leap makes a really good case that it is a slogan, not an ethos)

        Here, have some true Minnesota nice!

        i’m leaving, but I will always say that this was an amazing place to grow up.

      • Sensei

        I was kidding around. Just happened to see that article as you posted.

        Hell even my sleepy part of NJ was a nice play to grow up until the state went into the toilet.

      • Tundra

        I know. I’m bitter about my favorite place transforming to a shithole.

        At least I will always have this.

      • rhywun

        Huh, I was expecting something woke, not, like, technical reasons.

      • slumbrew

        It’s sorta technical but really an ethical lapse, IMO – knowingly introducing security flaws into the kernel in order to publish a paper is shitty and I would have thought a research ethics violation. I’m inclined to agree with the punishment.

      • Sensei

        I’m in agreement. Need more details to agree or disagree with the punishment however,

      • rhywun

        I didn’t read the whole thing, FWIW.

      • Gustave Lytton

        It’s revenge for the world turning its back on Gopher.

      • Q Continuum

        You guys decided on a spot yet?

        If being near a big city isn’t a requirement and you want to live in the mountains, I’d still recommend Leadville.

      • Tundra

        Looking at it. i want to rent and explore. Besides, the fucking market is insane.

        I like your town a lot!

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Oscar Wilde concurs.

    • Hyperion

      Are there any lichens you can munch on? I mean, who cares about fruit though when you can just club some baby seals.

    • blackjack

      I have a fig tree, lemons, and oranges. Avocados are by far the best tree to have. We got .50 a piace for them in ’77, now the store gets 2 bucks for the good ones.

      • blackjack

        I can’t get Tim Hortons anywhere around here. Very little hockey equipment outlets, too.

      • Gender Traitor

        I’ve heard that even the Canadians in LA don’t like hockey.

      • blackjack

        Maybe, but I dare you to find one that’ll admit it.

      • Chipping Pioneer

        Mmmm…, they’re probably at least a third of the attendance at Kings and Ducks games.

        Fun fact: by population, LA is the 4th biggest Canadian metro area. There are more Canadians in LA than there are in Ottawa. Probably mostly Alan Thicke’s offspring.

      • blackjack

        That explains why we have so many donut shops.

      • Gender Traitor

        They’re not for all the cops?

  12. Tulip

    Straff – thank you for telling me about the Hoteps. Very interesting content.

    • rhywun

      LOL!

  13. Gender Traitor

    This just in (or at least I just saw it): If ya gotta get the shot, at least one of your options is back.

    I’ve heard scuttlebutt that the head honcho at my job would be in favor of requiring the jab. (My immediate supervisor is not in favor of forcing folks to get it, but he’s not in the big chair.)

    • Sensei

      My wife mentioned that there is change in the labeling adding a the risk factor for women under 50.

      Given that and what we know to date if I fit that category I’d likely pick one of the others. Right now Pfizer is touting booster shots (aka ring the cash register) and Moderna isn’t, but I expect Moderna to hop on that gravy train any day now.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        They’re all going to need boosters similar to the flu shots. The fact that there are viral variants isn’t a myth and to maintain protection they’ll be needed.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Or maybe booster isn’t the right word, maybe reinnoculation depending on the dominant strain of the season.

    • blackjack

      I don’t want the fucking shot!!! I might have to, just to make the niece’s wedding in FLA this July, but it’s pissing me off. If I’m doing it, it’s gotta be the one and done J&J. I’m really kind of pissed that I might have to.

      • Tejicano

        Yup. If I’m doing it the J&J would be my choice. I’ll have to schedule a day away from work to make the sojourn out to a US Army base to get it so “one-and-done” is the only way I would go.

      • Sensei

        I was just speaking with my friend tonight in Japan. Every time I ask her what vaccination timelines look there they keep getting pushed back.

        I’m not sure if that’s a blessing or a curse.

      • Gustave Lytton

        They apparently aren’t growing the number of hospital beds, so it’s endless lockdown yo-yo.

      • Tejicano

        And the hospitals will only admit people from the immediate surrounding area so if one particular place gets a spike they have to deal with it themselves,

      • Sensei

        Feel the same. But as discussed above I’m not sure it will be one and done with J&J long term either.

    • Tejicano

      I’m wondering how long it’s going to take the supply chain to get back close to where things were when it got shut down. I never heard if they could just keep the stock on the shelf or if it would have to be disposed of and replaced. I guess we will find out.

      • slumbrew

        AFAIK, storage life at the proper temp is quite long – it just needs to get tossed once a batch is warmed up for longer than X hours.

        I’m assuming all the J&J vaccines have just been sitting where they were 11 days ago, ready to go.

      • Tejicano

        Since my source for the jab will be a US military base I am counting on to have/provide the vaccine. Knowing how US.gov “workers” operate I would half expect them to have dumped all the stock they had rather than keep track of how well it was being stored for an indefinite length of time.

    • Tundra

      Pass.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Nope

      Vitamin D, Zinc, Magnesium, and Ivermectin

      It’s a no on the experimental crap for me, Dawg

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        That’s what I’ve been taking minus the ivermectin. It sure would have been nice if they had put some more effort into therapeutics.

      • Tundra

        How the fuck do you sell pharmaceuticals, especially vaccines, with that kind of attitude?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        The vitamin companies have probably been doing well but they’ve got to be a drop in the bucket compared to the big boys.

      • Hyperion

        I’m helping them out. I take tons of vitamins and supplements. My dr says they aren’t doing me any good, but at least I’m helping the economy. I say ‘shut up you grouchy old curmudgeon big pharm whore’. OK, I didn’t use those exact words…

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        It looks to me like it isn’t so much about loading up on vitamins but making sure you aren’t deficient, particularly with vitamin D but correlation/causation and all that. It only costs between five and ten bucks a month to take all of that stuff so why not?

      • tripacer

        My Dr told me “people who take expensive vitamins have expensive pee”. I like her.

      • Tejicano

        I am completely done with taking any nutritional advice from any doctor who still believes all that BS about cholesterol, fats, and salt being bad.

        Yeah, the average multi-vitamin is probably not really useful to anybody who eats something close to a balanced diet but high doses of vitamin D and C – spread through the day – will definitely help your immune system.

      • Hyperion

        “I am completely done with taking any nutritional advice from any doctor who still believes all that BS about cholesterol, fats, and salt being bad.”

        Yeah, that’s all pretty much bullshit.

        The cholesterol thing… the last doctor I had, well he’s pretty much like all of them. He calls me one day and says ‘you cholesterol is high!’. And I’m like ‘how high’. And he says ‘I’m calling you in a statin’. And I said ‘don’t waste your time, I’m not taking that garbage’. He was just silent and … but why? I ain’t taking it, just forget it.

        Also, most doctors don’t know jackshit about vitamins and supplements, they don’t study that and there’s no money in them.

        I also do not believe that most people, very few people get all the nutrition they need from food. Because of the way people eat and the stress of the modern lifestyle. And like Wizzleteats said, they won’t hurt you. You’ll just pee out what you don’t need.

        I also truly believe some of them have helped me a lot. Theanine, Ashwaganda, l-glutamine for sure. D, C, Zinc, Magnesium, A, B complex, L-tyrosine, omega-3, E, just a few of what I take. And I don’t take multis just the highest quality stuff.

      • Hyperion

        “My Dr told me “people who take expensive vitamins have expensive pee”. I like her.”

        If I’m ever single again, I’m using that as a pickup line. Hey baby, I have expensive pee. Umm, maybe not…

      • tripacer

        Something else she said that made me like her was when she told me to take an antihistamine for some reason. I don’t remember which one it was, but I had some of some sort at home so I asked what the brand name was to see if maybe I already had some. Her initial response was something to the effect of “I don’t know, I only deal in generics”.

      • Tejicano

        A pretty common side effect from statins is basically the same as the symptoms for Parkinson’s. My dad took those statins for decades and died from – Parkinson’s. If any doctor tells me he/she is putting me on statins I will give them one warning and never come back if they don’t heed that warning.

        The idea that cholesterol causes heart disease is like saying smoke causes fire. If you have high cholesterol then you have some inflammation issue that is causing your liver to produce cholesterol. That inflammation is your issue.

    • commodious spittoon

      How does this not run afoul of HIPAA laws?

      • slumbrew

        If you “volunteer” your own health info, it’s not a HIPAA violation.

      • slumbrew

        You can choose not to volunteer that information and just, you know, not work.

      • Gender Traitor

        One “carrot” under consideration at our place is that if you want to be able to “float” – fill in at a different location than your usual one if they’re short-staffed – you have to provide proof you’ve been jabbed. Right now, no one ‘s allowed to float at all, so If a location is too short-staffed due to illness (such as, say, suffering the aftereffects of the COVID shot,) we just have to close it or go back to drive-thru only.

      • Sensei

        Nice to know they still use that term.

        When I was in high school I was a floating teller. Ahh, the joy of working a new branch pre widespread use of ATMs and having the local bigwig cash a check with zero ID and get the “Do you know who I am speech”.

        The only good thing about floating was some branches were awesome and some much less so.

      • Hyperion

        Heh, HIPAA may as well not exist anymore, privacy no longer exists in any way shape or form.

    • rhywun

      My job already said “not required”. That came from the very top, which is of course the head of HR.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Mine too although we’re strongly encouraged. You and I are lucky sounds like.

      • Hyperion

        Soon, your offices will be surrounded by an army of screeching Karens and your head of HR will fold.

      • rhywun

        I think the Karens will be calling from inside the house office.

      • rhywun

        er, house

    • Tejicano

      ” – The study also found that those who no longer wear a mask are tremendous, beautiful, “maybe the best-looking people of all time.” – ”

      Yes, I believe this is true!

  14. KSuellington

    So just cut the cord today with Comcast (the fuckers) and went with Sonic which has gigabit fiber internet at less than half the cost. We only really watch stuff on Netflix, and as I have largely ditched watching sports it really is not worth the extra cost. And I’ll be happy to be sending less money to the woke bullshit. The only sport I’m really watching is F1. Hey Slum (or anyone else that watches F1), did you end up getting the F1 package? If so, whatcha think of it?

    • slumbrew

      My buddy slid me his creds for F1 and it’s pretty great – to the point I may just pay for it myself.

      So far I’m just watching the main race feed and the post-race show (which usually gets cut on ESPN), but you can switch to the cameras & radio for each driver during the race, which is really impressive.

      I’ve watched the last couple after the fact; I’ve got the F1 Roku app on my TV but if I were watching live (and not rowing) I’d have the main feed on the TV & would be jumping around the driver feeds and the timing data on my tablet.

      • slumbrew

        Speaking of F1 – I had a long text chain with the aformentioned buddy re: how the hell is Toto Wolf worth $750MM? We just can’t figure out where he made all that money.

      • KSuellington

        I usually end up watching on Sunday eve, as during the day i have too much distractions with kids and such. Can you start the replay on it without finding anything about what happened in the race? As none of my friends watch it, it’s usually pretty easy just to avoid media during the day and then the replay has the suspense factor. The first two races of the season were both great I thought, glad you are enjoying it as well.

        Somehow or another Wolf acquired a one third stake in the Mercedes Team. I have no idea how. He is not from wealth I know.

      • slumbrew

        I’m in a similar boat as you – usually can’t watch it live.

        I screwed up and saw some headlines pulling up the last race but, now that I know what I’m doing, I think I could go straight to the replay w/o spoiling anything.

        Wildly enjoyable race, even knowing the top 3.

      • KSuellington

        The rainy ones are often fun as you never know what’s going to happen. Looks like Verstappen is going to give Hamilton a run this year. Good stuff from Mcalaren as well.

      • slumbrew

        Hamilton remains the Tom Brady of F1 – truly excellent at what he does, just… boring as a person (and I’m a Pats fan). Max is a douchebag but in an endearing way (vs., say, Stroll). I’d love to see Max take it this year.

        I’ve got a soft-spot for Riccardo; it had to burn, being asked to let Lando pass, but given the pace difference that was clearly the right call.

        Riccardo’s after-race comments were just what you’d want to hear – i.e., “I need to do work, the car has the pace, as Lando demonstrated, so it’s on me”.

        If he gets dialed in on that car, McLaren will dominate the midfield.

        Good to see Ferrari get back to being competitive, too.

  15. Hank

    Republicans pounce on ‘the spike in migrants crossing the border — due to seasonal patterns and regional crises — and planned to use it as a political cudgel to try to retake Congress in the midterm elections. The topic turned out to be much more of a vulnerability for Biden than even they expected.’

    ‘“A lot of people are not familiar with President Biden’s strategy, his policies, his vision,” said Sergio Gonzales, the group’s executive director, who worked on the Biden transition. “It really is incumbent upon the White House and Democrats to articulate what they stand for. They need to lean in and actually be very clear with the American public on what the plan is.”’

    https://www.politico.com/news/2021/04/23/gop-biden-immigration-border-problems-484383

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I wish they’d lean in on the commitment to finding an alternative to the term lean in.

    • commodious spittoon

      Republicans invented the fact that mass illegal immigration doesn’t play well with most voters?

    • Hyperion

      “resident Biden’s strategy, his policies, his vision”

      Oh for fuck’s sake, the guy’s barely sentient at this point.

      • Hank

        “resident Biden”

        I’m going to buy the latest edition of the Resident Biden game.

    • Chafed

      First someone needs to tell Biden what his plan is.

  16. slumbrew

    My 2 unit condo just spent $4,500 to have have the foundation repointed. I originally though that was a bit steep, but this guy was well recommended, so we went ahead.

    After watching them work since Tuesday, I think that was low.

    – Repointing is a ton of backbreaking, dirty work
    – they were total magicians, seamlessly replacing all sorts of half-assed patches – cemented-in pipes, some crap wooden patch, even broken bricks – with proper brickwork.

    This 130 year old foundation probably hasn’t looked this good since the day it was laid.

    I really, really appreciate good tradespeople. The good ones are always busy, the ones who have time usually aren’t good…

  17. J. Frank Parnell

    OMG.

    Last year in Kindergarden my youngest became best friends with one of his classmates and my wife became friends with the mom.

    Then Covid started, and the parents became full-on Branch Covidians. Like, completely fucking crazy. Somewhat understandable I guess, because the mom has family in New Jersey, which is a total shitshow, and they are living with the dad’s 75yo mom. But, still, their 7yo has been in total isolation, he’s talked to my kid on video calls and stuff but he hasn’t actually played with another kid in a year.

    I guess things have calmed down a bit, so the kids were able to have a play date in the park today. The kids still had to wear masks, of course, and my wife and the kid’s mom wore masks, even though it was outside and the adults have been vaccinated and kids don’t actually transmit the disease, but whatever, the kids actually got to see each other for the first time in a year and they had a lot of fun.

    Then

    My son’s friend talked on the phone with his cousin (who I think is maybe 8 or 9 and is in New Jersey) and told him about the play date, and the cousin freaked out, hung up, and a little while later the mom’s family had like a group intervention call to lecture her on how horrifyingly irresponsible she was allowing her child to be in a park (masked!) playing with another child, while she (vaccinated, btw) sat on a bench (wearing a mask) and talked to my wife (also vaccinated and wearing a mask). Apparently she’s killed the entire family and may be disinvited from an upcoming wedding.

    I … don’t even know what to say here. I thought my son’s friend’s parents were crazy and overreacting to this, since they wear the full masks/face shields/latex gloves when they go out, and they’ve kept their kid isolated for a year, and when we dropped off Xmas presents a few months ago the dad unwrapped them in the garage and wiped everything down with disinfectant wipes, but … damn, I guess there’s always someone crazier?

    • slumbrew

      Holy smokes, that’s next level. It really is cult-like.

      • commodious spittoon

        It’s shocking to discover how evidently empty peoples’ lives are that they’ve glommed on to a marginally-worse-than-the-flu disease as the defining issue of their generation.

      • commodious spittoon

        I don’t think it’s fair to say Trump broke them. I think there’s a real Stockholm syndrome problem with these people. I hate pathologizing political preferences but there is nothing normal about forsaking family and friends over the trivial, idiot edicts put into effect by the current crop of politicians. Not even kings or princes, just the twerps who happened to be in charge and found it expedient to impose harsh policies because it plays well for their media buddies.

      • Akira

        It’s scary how enthusiastic people are to comply, publicly proclaim their compliance, and denigrate the heretics who question any part of it.

        In fact, the most important tenet of the Branch Covidian religion is that you must help build the fire on which to burn the unbelievers. Most of the hardcore believers I know are still doing whatever they want (travelling, going to bars, etc) but loudly complaining about other people doing the same thing.

      • Gustave Lytton

        denigrate the heretics

        Not limited to Branch Covidians.

        Most of the hardcore believers I know are still doing whatever they want (travelling, going to bars, etc) but loudly complaining about other people doing the same thing.

        I’ve become convinced that most people are hedonistic psychopaths.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        It has been building up for over a decade. I first noticed it with the “Great Recession”. A run of the mill recession just had. to. be. some once in a lifetime travesty. Since then, I’ve been sensitive to all the overhyped crises that the media foist on the people (and the people lap up)

      • commodious spittoon

        I’m afraid we need a real crisis, war or depression, to kill off the activist ambitions of the leach class. The joke used to be that every young person wants to be a youtube star, but that only half got at the issue. Everyone wants to be a celebrity, sure, but their teachers and professors have convinced them that social activism will make them heroes.

    • Hank

      :()

      • Hank

        I mean, what a distressing piece of news. (I guess I’ll have to spell it out if it won’t do an open-mouthed shocked emoji.)

      • commodious spittoon

        That’s clearly the emoji of a person enjoying a McRib sandwich.

      • slumbrew

        It’s clearly a Pepe emoji.

      • rhywun

        Heh, it is.

    • zwak

      I once heard that even Mike Tyson got his ass kicked in prison.

    • rhywun

      Multiply this by a few tens of millions and you have the next generation or so of life in America.

      Yay.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      Ok, serious advice time. Make an effort with these people. If they’re getting bushwhacked just for peeking out of the shell, then they need some sane people in their life to show that there is sanity in the world. Do it on their terms at first, but eventually you’ll make an impression.

      Either that or move down here to TX and enjoy the mask optional life. ?

      • commodious spittoon

        ^^^

        The fact that Parnell even knows about the exchange means someone in the family thought it odd enough to break omertà and tell them… which means they’re not unsalvageable.

      • commodious spittoon

        Although, wiping down gifts on the suspicion that they could be Trojan horses for the flubonic plague… eugh. I don’t envy you.

  18. zwak

    To quote Umberto Eco “I asked for a lawyer, and they brought me an avocado.”

    • commodious spittoon

      Pound for pound, avocados are worth more than lawyers.

      • Chafed

        Hey hey hey. Back it up here.

      • limey

        IJ has a sad.

    • limey

      ☺️???⚖️

  19. commodious spittoon

    Anyone else remember RPG Maker? Man, I was all about that as a teenager. Never made shit with it, but that occupied my mind more than girls from fifteen till seventeen.

    • tripacer

      Nope, but I played DOS games like this one in particular this on dad’s Packard Bell 386 and before that any game that came on Big Blue Disk on the old Tandy 1000.

      • tripacer

        How about 321 Contact magazine and show? Now I’ve got the song from the show stuck in my head..

      • rhywun

        Send a SASE to 02134!

      • rhywun

        With probably a PO box in there I don’t remember.

      • tripacer

        Some time a few months ago I was being a smart ass to my coworker (also a mechanic) for being bad at troubleshooting, and I said “Let’s play “What Do We Know””. I couldn’t place where it came from for a while, then it hit me. Mathnet on Square one! Or maybe 321 Contact. There was some overlap.

    • limey

      My generation had something called Flight Sim Tool Kit, which had a huge learning curve but was mildly rewarding when you could make weird UFOs and whatever and worlds to fly them about in. It did not occupy my mind more than girls.

  20. Toxteth O'Grady

    Snowden on Russell Brand’s podcast, only half an hour. RB is pretty intelligent now that he’s sober; even the Petersons were impressed.

    • Chafed

      Wait. What? Did Brand give up the crazy?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Brand’s not a dummy and he’s only half crazy now which makes his podcast more interesting. A libertarian he ain’t but it’s worth a listen.

    • limey

      I saw him in real life once. I think he was with his mother. If she wasn’t his mother he’d possibly developed a taste for more mature ladies.

  21. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Huh, circa 1967, don’t hurt me ma, I ain’t a boy I swear:
    https://youtu.be/8lO91WWJ9tI

    What’s old is new again.

  22. limey

    I’ve got three avocados that are currently at “not yet” and soon to be “nope, too late”, which is annoying. You always think you’re going to save a few pennies with the “ripen at home” ones but it never works out.

    • TARDis

      Just like pears. The consumption window is 90 seconds it seems.

      Mornin’ limey, how’s things in ye olde empire?

      • limey

        Ha. My pears are also refusing to ripen so I’ve just been defiantly eating them firm. I’ve deployed some bananas to speed things along.

        Otherwise pretty good. I’m so behind on my youtube subs that I’ve wasted the morning doing things indoors where I can see the tee vee. I believe it’s time to hit pause and go outside to enjoy the brief and deceptive spell of Spring that’s graced us before the May freezes and frozen rain sweep in.

        What it is, TARDis? All good in the universe?

      • Festus

        “This is a banana”

      • TARDis

        I’m enjoying the light spring rain on the back deck while the fam sleeps in. So all good here.

        I’m glad we tried out the brew house we’ve been meaning to visit yesterday. The weather was perfect for sitting outside. The beer and food was very good, And we liked the high tech self service system.

      • TARDis

        were good….

    • Sean

      Reminds me, I need to take one out of the fridge to ripen.

      • Sean

        Done. On the counter now.

  23. Festus

    Mornin’ Glibbies! Still struggling with the interface trying to get these wretched HR and Safety things done. Last month went off without a hitch but I think what’s happening now is akin to how your golf or pool game gets progressively better up until five beers quaffed and then tapers off after that. It’s frustrating bullshit to begin with and this is just the Dairy Queen curlicue atop it. Too many devices, so many options and never the twain shall meet. I liked it better when Head Office left me the fuck alone for the first six years. Curse You Smartphone!

    • Sean

      Mornin’

      • TARDis

        Morning Fes, Sean, and hungover Globs.

      • TARDis

        Stupid phone.

      • Festus

        I’ll cop to “Glob” this AM.

      • Sean

        ☕??

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Fes, Sean, TARDy, & limey! Just warm enough to be out here at Tranquility Base lookin’ at nature, such as we have it here, and listening to the jazz channel on the satellite radio until it’s time for Old Man Music.

      How are all of you this fine morning (unabashedly Eastern US time zone-centric)?

      • TARDis

        Mornin’ Glibred. You have the same temperature (for now) there as I do. Just need a fuzzy housecoat and nice cofeve.

        I do love the pitter-patter of rain. Plus there will be no yard work, or projects to make noise.

    • TARDis

      Don’t play with your food!

  24. Sean

    This morning will be a Trader Joe’s shopping trip. Anyone need anything?

    • Gender Traitor

      They sell tabbouleh that’s any good? I’ve developed a hankering for it lately. Will settle for some nice hummus if necessary, but need something lower-carb to spread it on.

    • TARDis

      I’m in the mood for some char grilled prawns.

    • Ted S.

      Closest Trader Joe’s to me is an hour away.

      I’d have to go to Adams Fairacre Farms, but the location of the one nearest me is a bit of a mess for parking and getting in/out.

  25. Tres Cool

    sup’ fam?
    yo whats goody ?