Poll: Handedness

by | Apr 1, 2021 | Poll | 248 comments

H/T The Hyperbole for the topic

 

Last night while zooming, we started to wonder how many Glibs are lefties? In just our little informal survey, it seemed like a high percentage.

So, are you left handed, right handed, differently handed, or truly ambidextrous?

I’m right handed.

About The Author

SP

SP

I've got an idea! How about we just stick to the Constitution as written and then the government can leave me the fuck alone.

248 Comments

  1. KSuellington

    I’m a righty for most things but shoot guns and pool with my left. Also cut with my left and ride a board goofy footed.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Goofy foot here as well, Disc Left, but Putt Right

  2. Surly Knott

    Right handed.

  3. UnCivilServant

    I am more dextrous with my right hand, but able to lift more with my left. I think it comes from the fact that I’d open doors with my right hand, so I’d always carry stuff with my left.

  4. Yusef drives a Kia

    Lefty for most things, but I am forced to be Ambidextrous, you’re all Handicapped,

  5. The Other Kevin

    Right for everything.

  6. rhywun

    Right-handed for everything except writing and drawing, at least until I started teaching myself to write right-handed in my late teens. I have no idea how any of that came about, but it’s led to more than one quizzical gaze from an onlooker watching me write a sentence with my right hand then switch to my left hand to draw arrows or boxes.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      On the course they watch me drive and approach, then switch to Right for putting, and are amazed, ridiculous but whatever,

  7. Gender Traitor

    I write with my left hand but perform most other common tasks (including using scissors and shooting) with my right hand, so I guess I’m some flavor of ambidextrous. I identify as left-handed.

    Fun fact: both of my husbands have been left-handed, and in our now-disbanded musical trio, all three of us were left-handed. We even put out a left-handed CD, with the jewelbox case set up in reverse, (We assured people it could be played on right-handed CD players.)

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I play Stringed instruments Righty, then wish I had a Backwards piano,

      • Gender Traitor

        I am STRONGLY left-handed when hand-drumming, and while I don’t do it nearly as often, I think I’m more righty when “stick” drumming.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I play drums open handed Left, awkward but it works, Percussion is an equal affair to be IMO,

      • Count Potato

        That might be because hand drumming is open, and a trap set is usually played cross.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I set up a left handed kit, it felt Weird, so I just play open style, it works,
        /Not a Drummer…

    • Gender Traitor

      (Also draw left-handed.)

  8. commodious spittoon

    Doesn’t matter if you sit on it long enough.

    • DrOtto

      +1 The Stranger

      • blackjack

        This stranger?

  9. kinnath

    righty

  10. db

    I am gripping handed.

  11. l0b0t

    Right handed but I too skate goofy-foot; I was taught by my left-handed step-dad. My daughter is right handed while son is left handed.

  12. Gustave Lytton

    Left handed mostly but shoot/throw/bat right handed.

    • Old Man With Candy

      Same here. Write, eat, brush teeth lefty, throw, bat, and guitar right handed.

      My brain is all kinds of fucked up.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Fucked up is correct. I bat RH but hammer LH. Shoot RH but drill LH.

      • The Hyperbole

        Cool, only know him from his work with Tom Waits. I’ll have to check out his solo/jazz stuff. Thanks.

      • zwak

        Also, check out the Lounge Lizard albums No Pain For Cakes and Voice Of Chunk. He plays guitar on those and they are some of my favorites.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      There was a kid on my son’s baseball team a while back who threw left and batted right. Or maybe it was threw right and batted left, I just remember it was opposite.

  13. juris imprudent

    Right handed mostly, somewhat ambidextrous – but the kicker is, left eye dominant.

    • Count Potato

      Curious, how do you shoot a rifle?

      • UnCivilServant

        Make sure the stock is set into your shoulder, line up a sight picture on the target, switch off the safety and pull the trigger. Remember it’s not loaded, fit a magazine in, chamber a round, set the stock into the shoulder, curse as the target has moved on…

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        LMAO!
        Perfect!

      • juris imprudent

        Interestingly, when I first learned to shoot, I shouldered left, then because I was right-handed, I switched and just closed my left eye to get the sight picture.

        Unfortunately, my right eye is deteriorating and I’m going to have to switch back to left shoulder, at least for shotgun (not too bad since I shoot an O/U).

  14. db

    I am right handed but have trained myself to be able to do most things except writing equally well with both hands.

    I’m also right eye dominant. Anyone here cross-dominant?

    • db

      OK, so several have already pointed out their cross dominance. I wonder if the goofy-foot skating correlates with eye dominance?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I’m Goofy foot, but left hand Dominate, my eyes are very equalized though,

      • J. Frank Parnell

        I skate regular (and am right handed) but according to your test I’m left eye dominant.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Here! work requires it,

    • kinnath

      cross-dominant?

      What’s that? Transgender sadist?

      • blackjack

        You mean like )))cross-dominant(((?

    • Gender Traitor

      I figured out my eye dominance in a class at our range, but I’m so out of practice shooting, I’ve forgotten. There was a test where you looked at your extended hand(s) first with one eye, then the other, and noted which eye seemed to see your hand move. Could someone remind me how you do that test?

      • db

        Hold your hands out at the furthest extension of your arms, touch index fingers and thumbs together, forming a diamond opening. Look through the opening at a distant object, then draw your hands close to your face while concentrating on that object. You will end up with your dominant eye looking through the opening and the other one covered by a hand.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Ah thanks. Left eye dominant.

      • Gender Traitor

        Got it – thanks! Right eye dominant.

      • J. Frank Parnell

        Huh, that makes me left eye dominant but right handed.

      • db

        That’s “cross-dominant.” If you shoot, you should shoot with the hand on your dominant eye side, even if it isn’t your dominant arm. It is far better to learn to shoot with the dominant eye.

      • KSuellington

        I learned it by extending your arms all the way, back of hands facing you and forming a triangle in the middle with your two thumbs touching and one hands fingers overlapping. Get an object to look at and slowly pull your hands to your face. Halfway there or so it will be one eye that is looking at the object. That’s your dominant eye.

      • blackjack

        I can tell with absolute certainty when I go the range. I just don’t feel like my right eye works anywhere near as good as my left. It’s very plain to see (pun.)

    • SandMan

      I’m right-handed and right-eyed, but my wife is right-handed and left-eye dominant. Her two kids (my step-kids) are both cross-eye dominant; one left-handed and one right-handed. Of the 4 grand-kids one is cross-eye dominant, one is normal, other 2 are too young to know yet. In my world there seems to be some correlation between cross-eye dominance and mental illness of some sort.

  15. blackjack

    I was exclusively right handed until the last ten years or so. I messed up my right hand and now it’s getting arthritic a bit, so I use my left for a lot of things now. I do shoot rifles lefty and skate goofy footed. I’m amazed by how much I can do with my left hand. Prolly shoulda tried to split the difference more when I was young.

  16. Ted S.

    or truly ambidextrous?

    Enough with the euphemisms.

  17. zwak

    Right-handed, right eye dominate, goofy-footed.

    Brother is ambidextrous, mother and son are lefties.

    • rhywun

      right eye dominate, goofy-footed.

      I have no idea what either of these means.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Right foot forward on a skateboard? Goofy Foot

      • rhywun

        Ah. Never skated but play-acting it my living room, right-foot forward seems more natural to me.

      • UnCivilServant

        Your brain will naturally favor one eye over the other. Knowing which makes shooting accurately easier.

      • rhywun

        Yeah, just read above.

        Left eye dominant.

    • blackjack

      When I fire rifles, I use my left hand for the trigger and my left eye for the sighting. Handguns, I prefer my right hand but still use my left eye for sighting.

  18. Yusef drives a Kia

    Poll: How many Goofy footers?
    How many musicians?

    • blackjack

      I’m certainly the first, and I pull off the second to a certain degree.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I ask because it seems we are all Goofy so far, and I know we have plenty of musicians, I think it’s a Glib thing really,

      • UnCivilServant

        I don’t believe I’ve ever been in a circumstance to establish a foot dominance.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        it’s real, you find out the first time you jump on a deck,

      • KSuellington

        Yup, or a surfboard or a snowboard.

      • Gender Traitor

        With which foot do you kick ass?

      • UnCivilServant

        When kicking, I stand on my left foot and kick with my right.

        Unless the kick is to clear something off the left shoe.

      • pistoffnick

        “…we are all Goofy…”

        You got that right!

  19. grrizzly

    Right handed. The only exception is operating a computer mouse. For no special reason I learned to use my left hand for mousing a few years ago.

    • UnCivilServant

      “No special reason”

      …riiiiight.

    • Tejicano

      Maybe because your left hand doesn’t have the lotion on it?

      • grrizzly

        Not mutilated. No need for lotion.

      • Chafed

        Smegma FTW.

  20. Animal

    Right-handed but left-penised.

    • Old Man With Candy

      Peyronie’s?

      • Animal

        Too much speed-shifting as a young fella.

  21. The Gunslinger

    Right handed for everything.

  22. blackjack

    I once took a course on drawing. It was based on a book called ” Drawing on the right side of the brain.” It was pretty cool. It basically developed an exercise to eradicate all rational thought from your drawing technique. You had to draw individual lines from your subject without putting any thought into what they are. Turns out that you can accurately reproduce most drawings that way much easier. It was some kind of take on the left/right side of the brain and how one gets in the way on some pursuits and the other on, well, others. It was pretty cool.

    • UnCivilServant

      That strikes me as having a serious shortcoming.

      How are you supposed to create something out of whole cloth if you’re just thoughtlessly copying something you’re looking at?

      • blackjack

        I would imagine that having a string of successes reproducing existing drawings would tend to lead to furthering your ability to find the important lines in other objects and increase your confidence enough to enable creating your own. But, that’s just a guess. I really can’t remember if that was part of the whole theory or not.

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, my thoughts on the matter are all theoretical, I’m not that great at drawing. (I was going to say I wasn’t that great an artist, but that’s a bread term that could encompass some things I am good at).

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        You are an Artist, never forget it Bro,

      • blackjack

        That’s the thing. If you found yourself able to reproduce great drawings by masters, you might be emboldened and inspired to go further. You might be surprised by your hidden abilities and create your own stuff as a result. Just like writing, I would assume.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        not quite, you can play copies, but you cant write them, UCS is correct, originality is everything,

      • blackjack

        Mostly everybody who writes originals started by copying existing artists. What kind of island must you live on to not have heard or seen anyone else’s work? Everything starts from somewhere. It’s where you take that matters.

      • UnCivilServant

        It’s the ‘no thought’ part that strikes me as odd. I’ve seen plenty of artists studying and creating tutorials on anatomy and kinematics which help establish why the important lines are there.

        Maybe it’s just because I tend to think everything through before execution that this approach seems so alien and I am skeptical.

      • Tulip

        The point is to make you draw what you Actually see, not what you Think you see. It’s meant to stop you applying your model of a hand or a flower etc and drawing that instead of what is actually there. That’s why ‘no thought’.

      • Gender Traitor

        In drawing, I think a lot of the point is not to think about your idea of, say, a house – picture the typical child’s drawing with a square house with a peaked roof – but to actually SEE what a house looks like in real life from the angle at which you’re viewing it.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        @ Blackjack, the Island of I can write my own stuff,

      • The Hyperbole

        Fun fact : Post Modernist architect Richard Venturi designed his “Mother’s House” in part as a play on the way children draw houses.

      • Tulip

        That’s interesting Hyperbole

      • The Hyperbole

        D’oh, Robert not Richard (sorry Professor Soo)

      • blackjack

        Sometimes, your thoughts can prevent you from doing things. If you think you can’t do something, you’ll be wary of even trying. If you can just consider tackling a tiny sliver of the task, your mind will allow you to go ahead and try. Just setting aside your personal objections and tackling it one line at a time is often enough to enable someone to do what was unthinkable previously.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I call it song writing, but you do Stories, I’ll read them,

      • Gender Traitor

        Once you’ve learned how to draw from life, you can apply what you’ve learned about how the lines and shapes of inanimate objects, people, animals, and landscapes actually “fit together” and use it to draw from your imagination. Draw lots of real animals and then you can create a plausible looking imaginary creature.

      • Don escaped Cancun

        most art students already have dexterity and a preferred medium, so they know a lot about pen and in or charcoal, say, and all exercises help them that way, of course,

        but what art students need is to learn how to see; it is not thoughtless to study an object, attempt to capture it, and then reflect on what you got wrong and why. To see perspective and structure in all things from still-life to portraiture to landscape is almost natural for some of us, but many must be taught the vanishing point of geometries or the roundness of animals. Once you’ve studied these things, you’ll start to recognize this skill and appreciation even in broadsheet cartoons.

        Notice all the things that people who haven’t studied get wrong: the center of gravity of animals in stills will be too far to the edge of their stance, the reflections in mirrors will not be equidistant from the pane as the original object, the fall of shadow will not be consistent, the deer’s ears are stuck to the side of its ears instead of articulated on muscled stalks. You might be shocked how much natural phenomena are just not understood by most folk . . . some will learn by sketching and sketching with a bit of critique and coaching.

      • blackjack

        I was amazed that the distance from the eyes to the chin is pretty much the same as the distance between the eyes and the top of the head.

      • Don escaped Cancun

        right

        and the corners of the mouth are usually under the pupil

        and a body is seven heads tall

      • Festus

        Misty memories of high school art and drafting classes…

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Killer Book!, I learned so much from that book about how the mind operates, it works for guitar work as well,

  23. Spudalicious

    I’m a freak. It depends on what I’m doing, and I can’t really transfer to the other side. I bat and golf right handed, I throw left handed, and kick left footed. Go figure.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      You kick your Orphans? I use a switch…….

      • blackjack

        I adopt them. I can’t even do wrong, right. I’ll spare ya’ll another link to the song (although I love that song!)

      • blackjack

        In reality, I only adopted one, but still. I think that makes me, possibly, the only one here with a real orphan.

      • pistoffnick

        I adopted one as well. It is/has been interesting.

      • blackjack

        It’s the greatest thing ever, idinit?

      • pistoffnick

        Uhh, she thinks white males are ruining everything.

        Narrator: pistoffnick is a white male.

      • blackjack

        Yeah, I’m a little worried that my kid will end up there when he gets to be a teenager. If so, I won’t be the first parent hated by a teenager. I’ll just deal as best I can when it (if?) it happens. Keep fighting the good fight, it really is worth it.

      • pistoffnick

        I think it is worth it too.
        Her father is serving time in Kansas for slinging cocaine (SLD, cocaine should not be illegal, and should be available in vending machines).
        Never-the-less, he can fuck off for starting an investigation against us for child abuse.
        Her mother (who is also gorgeous, like my daughter) was 16 at the time of her birth.

        My daughter has at least not become pregnant at 16, 17, 18, 19, or 20.
        I may have done something right.

      • Spudalicious

        I would switch them left handed.

  24. Don escaped Cancun

    a lot of my ambi is gone due to specialization after all these deltoids

    right: almost all power stuff; also, body hair on that side is slightly thicker (also true for Junior on that one); forkwork; mouse and 10key

    left: writing, anything artistic

    guitar: playing RH means the smart stuff (fretting) is with my left/artistic hand, definitely an advantage

    golf: same thing . . . the RH swing is powered by the right glute, but, after that, it’s all about left side lats, tricep, and deltoid

    chopsticks: don’t care

    I continue to struggle with nerve damage in my left hand, but, worst case, I would certainly go back to writing righty ASAP and re-learn guitar righty as a new spin on my favorite hobby; I could probably golf left in a few weeks (I show off with my dad’s clubs all the time)

  25. trshmnstr the terrible

    Strongly left handed. I taught myself to golf right handed (only clubs I could find), but lost the muscle memory for it over the years.

    • blackjack

      When left is gone, then right is all that’s left, right?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Depends on injury, my Right was failing in 20, now it’s back, better than ever, YMMV,

      • Tejicano

        Your comment left me right at the gate. But the feeling that’s left is you were right to do it.

  26. Hank

    Still on the actual topic of the post, are we?

    Well, I’ll say I’m right-handed, and I used to have a more or less functioning left brain.

  27. mikey

    Lefty.
    My paternal grandmother tried to get my parents to change me. Mom told Gramma to pound sand. Thx Mom.
    My fourth grade teacher tried to get me to change as my handwritting was shit. No dice and my handwritting is still shit.
    Biggest problem? Scissors. In the Long Ago it was not common knowledge the scissors are handed. I didn’t learn that until high school. In kindergarten I was the only one that could read. I was also the only one that couldn’t cut out the damn bunnies on the mimiograph sheets. The paper just bent. No one could help. I was just too clumsy to cut out the stupid bunnies! Scarred for life from those stupid scissors.

  28. Annoyed Nomad

    I’m right-handed. My father was left-handed and my daughter is left-handed, so I believe I have left-handed genes. I think it explains how I’ve been able to pick up left-handed activities. For example, I used to play competitive volleyball and I was able to spike right or left-handed.

  29. DrOtto

    Solid righty. As a mechanic, I force myself to do some things with the left to maintain some level of dexterity as I have to use the left to get to hard to reach bolts from time to time.

    • blackjack

      Yeah, I used to pick up motorcycle batteries with my right hand. Then I got a piece of glass mirror stuck in it for a few months and couldn’t anymore. So I started using my left. Now, I do all kinds of stuff with my left and it works just fine. I’m amazed!

  30. mikey

    “Pooh looked at his two paws. He knew that one of them was the right, and he knew that when you had decided which one of them was the right, then the other one was the left, but he never could remember how to begin. ”
    A.A. Milne

    • blackjack

      You’d be surprised, there’s so much to be done!

  31. Bobarian LMD

    Extremely Left Handed. Only things I do right handed are things I was forced to do that way.

    Like running a fishing rod, although I’d cast left handed.

    • blackjack

      My kid decided he was a left handed guitar player. I’m pretty sure it’s because he had a Jimi Hendrix poster. I restrung his first guitar ( not easy, had to remove the nut and flip it) and then he switched to right, Thank the dogs!

  32. Tejicano

    Right handed and right eye dominant. But I have always fought southpaw – it just feels comfortable.

    I have a good level of dexterity in my left hand as I have done Origami since I was a child.

  33. Gdragon

    Right handed all around. I do shoot left handed in hockey but many right handed people do this (right hand is top hand).

  34. creech

    Right handed, and always sleep on right side of the bed (though I used to sleep on left side with the previous spouse.) Is “bed side” dependent on room configuration (e.g. nearer to gun safe) or as spouse prefers or something else?

  35. blackjack

    I blame Dr otto!

    • blackjack

      I mean, honestly!

  36. commodious spittoon

    Separate poll: bathroom intercourse.

    Talking between urinals is indecorous.

    Answering a phone while you’re squeezing one off in a stall is barbaric.

    Both of these things have I observed from supposed professionals in the last couple years.

    Fucking animals.

    • commodious spittoon

      It’s all about hierarchy and asserting dominance, I guess.

      I used to think, how the fuck could Aaron Rodgers murder people when he had a promising NFL career? And the answer is, he was fucked up enough to get the contract to play QB for the Packers, he might have been fucked up enough to be a murderer, too.

      And the fucking animals who want to converse in the mens room are themselves so overly confident they aspire to greater heights than we mere mortals.

      • Gender Traitor

        Before the site gets sued, I THINK you mean Aaron Hernandez. 😉

      • blackjack

        Wait, they can sue us for the crazy shit we say here? [ considers strengthening my VPN]

      • Gdragon

        I think it was actually the other guy, Dan Gronkowski. I think he quit football to tour with Lou Reed and if it weren’t for the murder he’d still be at it.

      • db

        I used to work for a man who I am convinced was some sort of psychopath. We were having problems at our facility, and our Operations group was blaming the Maintenance group, the Maintenance group was blaming Engineering, and we in Engineering knew the problem was Maintenance and their awful sandbagging of work times and refusal to hold their crews to any kind of standard of work–they would take exactly how long to do the job as they had scheduled, regardless of whether they got the job done or not. The situation was terrible and very political.

        The VP in charge of several plants was best buddies with our head of maintenance. The head of our facility (a job that was responsible for hundreds of employees at a multi-billion dollar plant) listened to the maintenance manager and at one point followed me into the restroom. He proceeded to stand at the urinal right next to me, start pissing, and leaned up against the wall over the urinal, supporting his head on his arm against the wall. Then he told me a little story about how when plants have problems, there’s usually one person who can be found to be at fault. Just the one, and once that person is dealt with, the heat goes off the senior management for a while, even if the problem doesn’t go away.

        Believe me, I wasn’t the problem, but I got the message that I was the disfavored scapegoat. Started updating my resume and looking for a job the next day, and was out of there in three months to much greener pastures.

      • commodious spittoon

        Fucking christ, maybe chicks have a legitimate complaint. Maybe they should complain about this imposition.

      • db

        Not sure exactly what you’re getting at.

      • commodious spittoon

        I think it had something to do with standing up to piss, I can’t remember

    • EvilSheldon

      It is okay to talk to another man in a public restroom if you’re both washing your hands or waiting in line. Talking between urinals is uncool, unless you’re making the ‘water’s cold/water’s deep’ joke. Talking between stalls had better be for a serious emergency.

      Talking on the phone while on the crapper is disgusting, if only because it cuts into one’s Tweeting time…

    • banginglc1

      Talking to another man while at a urinal is unacceptable, unless drunk and continuing conversation from before arriving at the urinal (even then, best to pause for a moment).

      Also, proper bathroom etiquette, always every other stall or urinal when available. Never be that guy that sits in the stall next to me when there are 5 other open ones with no one else around. Seriously, WTF? Can’t a man shit in peace.

      • banginglc1

        Side story:

        At a previous job, a guy was promoted to VP (IMHO to shut him up and get him out of the union). Right after his promotion, I went into the bathroom. Our COO (who was the one who promoted him) was at a urinal. New VP took the urinal right next to him and asked, “How are you today?” to the COO. (Side note: COO sounds almost identical to Ronald Regan)

        COO response: “I was doing great until you started talking to me while my dick is in my hand”

      • commodious spittoon

        I brought this up because the CEO started talking at me from the urinal down the line and it really, really bothers me. I like the guy, he’s a stellar boss, but the bathroom habits in this organization are just inexcusable.

      • commodious spittoon

        There’s four stalls in the men’s room where I work. We’re at limited capacity due to the ‘vid and because people have taken advantage of the situation to continue working from home long, long after it made sense. Not that I mind, I like having a mostly empty office. If people start filtering back in for work I may start working from home myself.

        But somehow, for some reason, some dweeb still chooses the stall next to the one I’m sitting in to park his ass. What, are you lonely? You want some fucking company?

      • banginglc1

        When people do that to me, I make noises to confuse, but horrify them. You have to walk the line between them thinking it’s a hell of a shit and that you’re jacking off.

        *this may not be the best strategy to deploy at work

  37. The Bearded Hobbit

    I was thinking about handedness as an example about parents who force their children into changing sex.

    A hundred years ago parents were punishing their children for using the “wrong” hand by binding and torture.

    “I really wanted a daughter/son” so the child is subjected to mutilation. The more things change, etc.

  38. J. Frank Parnell

    Right.

  39. The Bearded Hobbit

    To answer the poll, right-handed for everything.

    Mrs. Hobbit is right-handed but left-eye dominant. She is learning to shoot left-handed. AR makes it much easier for her.

  40. hayeksplosives

    Right handed here.

    I can write at almost normal speed in cursive with my left hand but only right to left, total mirror image.

    I also have thumb hypoplasia; there’s no knuckle in my mid-thumbs.

  41. Gustave Lytton

    I’m very disappointed. All of the streaming services now have Black video categories chock full of content. When are they going to do something about their Asian hate and start showing more than just anime and Korean horror? I’m looking forward to actual content, particularly Japanese media that they don’t thing anyone else wants to watch. Where’s my Nozaki Shuhei Auditor of Bank / Nozaki Shuhei President of Bank?

    • rhywun

      They don’t even have their own History Month.

      Do better, the world.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Also, Middle Easterners east of the Sinai shall be referred to as SW Asians, thereby proving that that the US’ last twenty years was little more than violence directed against Asians. Come to thing of it, the past 100 years since the Boxer Rebellion and the Philippine Insurrection have been all about anti Asianism (ignores WWI, WWII ETO, Latin America and Africa adventurism).

      • Gustave Lytton

        *120 years

        Perry used Black Ships to invade Japan, which proves the institutional racism of the US.

  42. Trigger Hippie

    Ambidextrous.

    I can write, throw a “sports ball”, catch, paint, draw, shoot, box, and bat with both hands. To be fair, I’m naturally a southpaw in those areas. Ripping the tendons in my left thumb and being forced to wear an air cast as a teenager because I was too stupid to wear gloves while hitting the heavy bag(tuck your thumbs, yo) helped develop that…The “kicker” is that I’m far and away right foot dominate. So much so that I play disc golf and field hockey(before I was a consistent smoker and still played field hockey) as a righty.

    Batting and boxing play a large factor in that. Right foot as the lead with my weight and pivot point applied on my left foot just feels more natural.

  43. The Bearded Hobbit

    “Captain! This sailor was found in his bunk masturbating with both hands!”

    “Throw that man in the brig and charge him with bigamy!”

  44. Brochettaward

    A whole lot of Glibs have no souls. That’s my take away from all this.

    • Gender Traitor

      As long as you have soul.

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      A whole lot of Glibs have no souls. That’s my take away from all this

      So you’re implying that we’re all Gingers?

      • Rat on a train

        At least day-walkers.

  45. EvilSheldon

    I’m right handed with everything. I do shoot reasonably well with my left hand, but that’s training rather than talent.

    Here’s something weird that’s maybe related – I can’t independently close my right eye. I can wink with my left eye, and of course I can close both eyes, but I can’t wink the right one. I’ve never met anyone else who suffers from this crippling physical disability.

    • db

      Can you wiggle your ears? For many years I didn’t think I could do it, then one day I just…could. It was a matter of just visualizing them wiggling. I can even wiggle them independently sometimes now. The brain/nervous system is a weird thing; maybe if you just try to do it without thinking about it, it might work.

  46. Ownbestenemy

    Right handed, except for shooting. So I was that one person they had to move all the way down the firing line in the military while shooting prone. One teen is a rightie the other is a leftie.

  47. Ownbestenemy

    For hockey playing glibs…your thoughts on what is considered “right handed” and “left handed”. I felt that what is traditionally called a “right handed” blade is actually left handed player as the control hand one the stick is your left hand.

    • Don escaped Cancun

      same point as I was making regarding golf

      • Ownbestenemy

        Right handed golf/hockey – left leg is providing the power, left eye is forward, left hand is controlling. Which coming from that perspective, it has nothing to do with handedness and more on how your body naturally works to find its power.

    • Gdragon

      It is an interesting phenomenon, growing up most players on my teams in Toronto shot left but when I got to college most of the team was American and right handed (and surprised that I wasn’t). I always assumed this was at least partially a result of their parents (and/or them) not really knowing and buying the curve named for the hand that they write with.

      • Ownbestenemy

        When I sold hockey equipment and new parents would come in claiming their kid was this hand or that hand, I had a straight bladed stick I would give the kid and send him off to our golfing net that I threw some sportcourt down and some pucks. After a few shots it was easy to see what the player was comfortable in terms of curve they needed.

  48. CatchTheCarp

    Right handed. Played hockey in my younger days and was a left handed shot. Which is not unusual. I’d like to try driving a right hand drive vehicle with a manual and see how I’d do rowing thru the gears with my left hand. I think it would be a challenge.

    • KSuellington

      If you are fairly used to manual it is a bit dodgy at first but then then you just get it. I once drove a right hand drive manual British Skoda across Eastern Europe to Turkey and then back to the Netherlands (all of which countries drive as we do on the right). I had to ask my passenger on the one lane roads if I could pass, which was the weirdest part. There is a reason why you drive on the left side in a right hand drive that definitely is very apparent. When I’ve driven in Ireland or England it’s still a bit weird at first but not as tricky as that.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Yeah, you just stick to the center of the road.

        I feel for L/L or R/R drivers, like postal vans.

  49. Festus

    Righty but shoot left for hockey. Ambidextrous with a shovel and a broom.

    • Chipwooder

      My dad was the same way when he played, he also was originally a lefthanded hitter in baseball as a youngster though he had switched to righty by high school-interestingly enough, he never tried to switchhit. It was one or the other.

      Years ago he was invited to play in an alumni game by his college he played for. Since he was old and hadn’t played baseball in many years, he went out to the cage to take some cuts to get ready. Tried righty and couldn’t hit a thing, so he switched to lefty and hit well, so that’s how he hit in the game.

  50. Chipwooder

    I’m severely right-handed. My left hand is next to useless.

    Both of my children are lefties, for the most part. My son is 100% lefty and always has been. My daughter writes lefthanded but we always suspected she made herself that way because she was imitating her big brother when she was little. For a long time she also wrote right-handed sometimes, though she hasn’t in a long time now, and she both throws and bats righthanded in softball.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Most toddlers will utilize both hands when learning a new task and will eventually gravitate towards the hand that accomplishes the task the best and quickest. Social pressures are there for sure, but the brain accomplishing its goals is a much larger player in my opinion.

      • Chipwooder

        It’s just that it never seemed natural for her the way it did for my son, and she doesn’t really do anything but write with her left. That, and the fact that she used to switch hands a lot when she was younger – the boy never did that. He did everything with his left hand from the jump, going all the way back to when he first starting holding the spoon himself as a baby.

  51. straffinrun

    Lefty in all things. Today’s lunchtime sketch. Muddy shading.

    https://ibb.co/2kbtqLM

    • Festus

      Nice Audrey!

  52. Broswater

    Lefty here. Completely unable to use righthanded scissors.

    Ambidextrous / right for most sports and stuff.

    • straffinrun

      Heh. Using righty scissors means I’m just guessing where I’m cutting.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Yeah watching my oldest try to cut things was always the best comedy show on.

  53. Chipwooder

    I should probably learn to shoot a rifle lefthanded as I’m left-eye dominant despite my overwhelming right handedness. Pistol is no problem because I just cant it to the side a bit, but rifle’s a different story honestly. The few times I’ve tried to shoot lefty, though, felt incredibly awkward.

    • KSuellington

      If your left is your clearly dominant eye you should shoot left. It may take some getting used to, but you will end up a more accurate shooter, at least with a rifle or shotgun.

      • Tejicano

        This is how the US Marines do it. They couldn’t give fewer phux about which hand is dominant. Left eye dominant means you shoot left handed on the rifle and visa versa. Whichever hand you use to shoot the pistol is a personal choice between you and your maker – as long as you use your dominant eye to aim.

      • tripacer

        They made me shoot left handed in army basic. It was awkward. I never shot as well as I did shooting right handed with my non-dominant right eye. Pistol I shoot right-handed left-eyed.

  54. Plinker762

    I’m left and right handsy.

  55. Chipwooder

    All the talk of handedness made me think of one of baseball’s oddities: the bats right/throws left club. There have been a fair number of players who hit lefty and threw righty, but few who did the opposite. Rickey Henderson is really the only notable one, and Cody Ross is the only one I can think of who played relatively recently.

  56. hayeksplosives

    I’m listening to another outstanding episode if the atom Woods podcast with Ivor Cummins, talking about COVID.

    I learned two new things: in order to rush a vaccine through accelerated trials, one criteria that has to be met is that THERE CANNOT BE AN EFFECTIVE TREATMENT for the disease. That’s one reason they put the kibosh on ivermectin (which really does seem to have an effect) and Hydroxychloroquine.

    The other thing I learned is that the United Nations (which I used to regard as ineffective and now regard as evil) has wanted a vaccine passport since 2017.

    Fuck them.

    I am a free born woman. I don’t belong in shackles.

      • Festus

        Fuckin’ Daltrey was an athletic feller. I couldn’t have pulled off some of those moves even in my prime.

    • Festus

      Just to let you know, happy to hear that Hubby is doing better. I send you a virtual hug and side-boob caress ala Joe.

      • limey

        Don’t forget the hair sniff ??

        Hello and good morning Festus and ‘splosives.

  57. Festus

    Shit-faced again and more toil tomorrow night. Such is life.

    • limey

      My cousin is waiting for a heart. Apparently they have both a human and a pig heart ready to go when the time comes just in case ?‍♂️

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Jeez, that can’t be fun.

        Looks like snow for you on Monday.

      • Gender Traitor

        Good morning, Sean, limey, & TO’G (nice avatar, grrlfriend! A classic!) Best wishes to your cousin, limey!

      • Gender Traitor

        Can’t make out the text in the bubble of the avatar even if I zoom in. Is that “Love to eat them mousies”?

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Mornin’, shug!

        Kliban cat (was it ever named?) singing “Love to eat them mousies / Mousie’s what I love to eat / Bite they little heads off / Nibble on they tiny feet”. An interim, hastily chosen avatar.

      • Gender Traitor

        Yup! A classic.

      • Gender Traitor

        One or another Boynton cat would allow you to express many moods.

      • Gender Traitor

        Sadly, yes. 🙁

        If you’re a Boynton fan, you MUST own Dog Train! The showstopper “I Need A Nap” alone is worth the price of admission!

      • Sean

        *waves hi*

      • Sean

        Yikes. Best wishes for your cousin.

  58. Sean

    Below freezing here. Fucking Spring…

    • limey

      If it does that again here I’ll be very disappointed. Mornin’, Sean ☕??

      • Sean

        Mornin’

  59. Rat on a train

    Left-handed people are sinister.

    • Gender Traitor

      That’s rather gauche of you to bring that up.

      • Gender Traitor

        Good morning to you anyway.

      • Rat on a train

        Kumusta? I hope you have a good Friday.

      • Rat on a train

        That’s an adroit observation.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, UCS. How are you today?

      • UnCivilServant

        Annoyed at Microsoft’s utterly shit ribbon interface. All I’m trying to do is to have a header with our agency logo and the page number where the page number is in the upper corner and the logo does not interrupt the body text. But they won’t provide an easy way to just jump between header and body. I had to go ask the internet for a keyboard shortcut.

        There’s a reason I dumped this product the moment they ruined the interface. But this is work-related, on a collaborative share, so I’ve got to use the software work chose.

      • Gender Traitor

        Those Office “upgrades” drive me crazy, too. A couple of days ago I was trying to update a form I’d created in Excel a few years back in which I’d set up checkboxes that assigned a set number of points for different responses. Couldn’t remember how I’d done it in the first place (I had been much too clever for my own good,) and the “Help” for that function in the current version of Excel was no help at all.

  60. Timeloose

    So what was the verdict? Do Glibs mostly have green handled scissors at home?

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Kitchenaid > Fiskars.

      Sorry to hijack your joke; I’ve developed serious Opinions about scissors.

      • Timeloose

        I’m a Solingen man myself.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        You’re probably right. These dull old Tweezerman hair scissors I’m looking at are Solingen.

    • Gender Traitor

      When my kindergarten teacher saw me coloring left-handed, she told me to ask my mother to get me the green-handled scissors. However, I naturally cut righty, so I could never get those damn things to work.

  61. Sean

    I hate when that happens.

    The DEC said an environmental conservation officer was dispatched to the home of a woman who heard a loud noise inside her Erie County residence and discovered a turkey had crashed through a second-floor window.

    • commodious spittoon

      The turkey did not appear to be seriously injured and was released.

      This is why recidivism is endemic among turkeys.

    • UnCivilServant

      Clearly the headcount at DEC is too high. Start the layoffs.

    • Rat on a train

      That’s a long way from Cincinnati.

      • Sean
      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Unpopular opinion: I can think of several better WKRP episodes.

      • Rat on a train

        I don’t recall the episodes well. I can recall bits like the on-air effects of alcohol test.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        That was A Fish Story, I think. Real Families (early proto-reality TV, following Herb around) another, and the rest I forget bc it’s not airing right now.

  62. Sean

    Happy national peanut butter & jelly day!

  63. banginglc1

    Late to the party, but . . .Left handed. Right eye dominant.

    I do the vast majority lefty with the following exceptions.
    Drums, guitar, shooting, and maybe a few other small things. But anything that requires precision, is lefty.

    I always shot a rifle and shotgun right handed, just came to me naturally with my right eye being dominant. For years I tried to shoot pistols left handed. But I would use my right eye to aim. Made me a terrible pistol shot. While still uncomfortable years later, I’m a much better pistol shooter right handed. But my instinct is still to hold it in my left, I can’t seem to untrain the muscle memory developed with toy guns in my earliest of years.

  64. Rat on a train

    What about footedness? Which foot are you supposed to use when pressing your boot on the face of humanity?

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Both, of course! Alternately or jointly.

  65. Psycho Effer

    I’m normal, you freaks!