Saturday Morning Home Alone Links

by | Apr 24, 2021 | Daily Links | 233 comments

There’s cilantro in the fridge. Laundry piled up in the hall. Dog unbrushed. Underwear on the bedroom floor. Pantry stuffed with potato chips, pretzels, and donuts. Stereo turned up to 11. Bathroom door never shut. Yes, the Old Man is in full bachelor mode until SP’s return two weeks hence.

Birthdays today include one of the Dutch Bros; a guy who was one of those types of slaves we’re not supposed to notice; a piece of shit who, in a just world, would have been hanged from a lamppost; a noted artist whose work was not exactly to my taste; another piece of shit who should have gotten hanged but was paid well and highly awarded; an absolutely brilliant filmmaker whose creativity went well outside of the mere celluloid strips; a guy with the worst fake Cajun accent ever; a terrific sax player who, despite travel time, was a regular at the clubs I hung out in when I was a teenager; a woman who could challenge Peter Sellers for “Most Brainless Actor”; another great sax player who I (sadly) only got to see three or four times; a mystery writer brought to you by the letter G; a guy whose name is synonymous with “corruption”; and last but not least, another brainless Hollywooder who managed to get her name associated with the best possible trolling.

Next, news.

 

Maybe his hands were too small?

 

Fuck right off, you stupid cunt. That is the most logical response to this.

 

Urrrr…. uhhhhh…. whaaaaa?

 

Isn’t it fortunate that politics isn’t vastly stupid?

 

I think we’ve seen this movie before.

 

“Do you know who I am?”

 

Hold on to your wallets.

 

As I’m reading this, I’m thinking, “This must be a union extortion scheme.” And way down in the article… ayup. Fucking Mafia.

 

Old Guy Music is a short delight. Not just Hampton, but the vastly underrated Milt Buckner on piano. This just makes my Saturday morning.

About The Author

Old Man With Candy

Old Man With Candy

Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me. Wait, wrong book, I'll find something else.

233 Comments

  1. Festus

    Tardis just had a glitch and said “Mornin’ Globbies”! Truer words were never spoken…

    • Tres Cool

      Hey! Ive lost weight!

      Hold up- guess that’s blobbies. Carry on.

    • Festus

      I’m sorry. The correct answer was “Globs”… Still think it should become yet another secret password. As usual, I’ll be scanning the links until such time that they get the perusal deserving! Good Mornin’ Old Man! Good Mornin’ to all of the Globs, near and far…

      • Tres Cool

        It was an awesome luncheon with GT and SP.

        /smells finger

      • Festus

        Avatar checks out. I envy you but not about the “stink-fink” part.

      • Gender Traitor

        It was! Thanks again for joining us, homey, and I’m sorry you didn’t get to at least sample the culinary fare.

      • Tres Cool

        I wasnt going to spend $12 on gyro that Id later de-construct for the shawarma. And who ever heard of a “Mediterranean” place that ran out of tea ?

      • Chafed

        Look at the food critic.

    • Sean

      I weighed in a half pound heavier today…

      Stop fat shaming me!

  2. Spartacus

    My mom had, I think, the entire Sue Grafton series. Don’t know if she actually read them all.

    • Festus

      There is a book exchange at work and all of them are terrible. People that consider themselves “Readers” haven’t read very much in my experience.

      • rhywun

        I’ve read a few. They’re decent, brainless fare.

      • Festus

        That was my point.

      • The Hyperbole

        The greater the number of books in a series the more likely they are to be trash, any series with over 6 is suspect and over 12 is almost guaranteed to suck.

      • Festus

        My personal cut-off is three.

      • Mad Scientist

        That certainly explains the bible.

      • Tundra

        Ian Rankin’s Rebus series is an exception.

      • The Hyperbole

        Knots and Crosses has been in my to-be-read pile for years, something always moves it down. I’m gonna put it on top and get to it next, and this time I’m serious.

        And I’ll put Good Omens right under it, based on down thread recommendations, But I warn you people if either one is as bad a Gridlinked was I’ll never take your book reco’s again.

      • zwak

        The Inspector Maigret books by Simenon are good also.

        But, a proviso, I haven’t read all of them.

    • Tulip

      I am just finishing re-reading the whole series. I’m nearly done with reading Y is for Yesterday. I think they hold up well.

      • Ted S.

        Did she get Z is for… done before she died?

      • Tulip

        No

      • Old Man With Candy

        I always think of you as Hugh Lanigan.

      • C. Anacreon

        There’s times when mindless series can be fun and a welcome respite from the real world. I enjoyed the Jack Reacher books in that way, although the last one, the first from a new author who was given the reins by the original author, was embarrassingly bad. Looking for a similar series, the Licoln Rhyme books seemed ok for awhile, until (spoiler alert) you realized that every serial killer was always just a mastermind’s distraction away from the true criminals, white supremacist secret militias (and these were from twenty years ago!) and I couldn’t stomach trying another. Funny how the white supremacists could be drooling morons but at the same time devise the most complicated criminal plans in history.

  3. Gender Traitor

    Old Man, I obviously don’t have to tell you this, but your sweetie/hunny bunny/snookie wookums is a delightful human being, and I’m delighted and grateful that I got a chance to hang out with her (and Tres and annoyed nomad) for a few hours Wednesday. (I hope she didn’t have too much trouble reaching her destination, weather- and timewise.) Wouldn’t break my heart if she stopped ’round these parts on her way back home. I can understand why you’re moping around sad & blue in her absence. 😉

    • Festus

      I could tell she was a peach even remotely. Look at me sucking up. Where’s the loner and rebel persona that I’ve so finely crafted? Out the door with my libido, apparently.

      • Mad Scientist

        Don’t feel bad. It’s not your fault that SP is so awesome even rebels love her. She’s basically Mrs. Cunningham.

      • TARDis

        If I can ever stand to fly again, and am allowed to, I’m going to secretly travel to a glibmeetup and stalk you peeps.

        Damn you, broken time machine!
        *kicks self*

      • Festus

        You’ll be playing the part of the “Concierge”?

      • Festus

        I actually owe her two favors, at least. If talking her up makes up for a little of the debt, I’m sanguine about that fact. SP is a “dear-heart”.

      • Festus

        You are in the the top three, even before that pull, GT!

    • Nephilium

      /looks over at I-71

      Well… I do need to make it down to Columbus at some point.

      • Gender Traitor

        You & Tom T could talk Pratchett non-stop. He’s been on a binge for months. Sometimes comes to bed in the wee hours mumbling, “Damn book!”

      • The Hyperbole

        I’m going to have to read one of these Pratchett books you people keep bringing up, but since the last Glibs hyped novel was a big letdown I’m a bit gun-shy.

      • Gender Traitor

        My longtime favorite is Good Omens, his co-write with Gaiman. Not a series, so you’re safe. (Did not see the dramatization, even though it co-starred David Tennant. Was tempted, but didn’t consider it worth springing for Amazon Prime.)

      • Tundra

        I love Good Omens. I just re-read it for like the 100th time recently. Still funny as hell.

      • zwak

        (backs off of vastly overheated comment on the mentioned book)

        I am not a fan of that book. And I cannot for the life of me understand others’ love for it. Way too much of the Sniggering Schoolboy type of humor. And this is coming from a confessed Anglophile!

        It wasn’t as bad as Still Life With Woodpecker, but not far off.

      • C. Anacreon

        Still Life with Woodpecker convinced me redheads were a special breed, and I ended up marrying one after that. So Tom Robbins may in part be responsible for my bride of 25 years.

      • Gender Traitor

        ?

      • zwak

        Well, as a Redhead (who smoked Camels!) I found that book so poorly written. Now, it has been 30+ years so I cannot remember why in specific, but I generally put it down to having a sense of humor that doesn’t quite mesh with others.

      • Festus

        It ain’t all that *scurries away, tuck-tailed*

      • Nephilium

        If you’re going into the Discworld, I would recommend skipping the first couple published to come back to later (PTerry hadn’t really found a voice, and they’re more pastiches of pulp high fantasy instead of the later satire), and starting with either Guards! Guards! (the first of the watch series, which is my personal favorite) or Mort (the first of the death series).

        There’s also the stand alones (Small Gods, Pyramids, Monstrous Regiment) which barely reference the other books, and the last cycle introduced, the Moist series (starts with Going Postal).

        Good Omens is great, especially after hearing Gaiman complain that Pterry kept rushing ahead to write “all the good parts”. The adaptation wasn’t bad, and was done by Gaiman to fulfill a dying wish from Pterry.

    • Old Man With Candy

      This is why Mad Scientist and SugarFree have been locked in mortal combat to win their place as her Favorite.

      • Mad Scientist

        I’ll get him some day! And his little dog too!

      • Gender Traitor

        Yeah…picked up some interesting tidbits about SF…

      • Festus

        Meek, mild mannered Librarian by day, nightmare inducing Author by night? We already knew that. I still think about that Subaru dog story.

      • Gender Traitor

        “Still waters run deep” comes to mind.

  4. LCDR_Fish

    Good thing drugs fell out of the turtle’s butt. Wouldn’t have been worth it otherwise.

    • Mad Scientist

      I think they fell out of OMWC’s notoriously wrinkled ass.

      • Festus

        Puckered, frowning ass. FTFY!

      • Mad Scientist

        I’m relieved you didn’t say “supple, pouting.”

      • Festus

        You’ve been reading Tonio’s copies of “Bear” magazine, haven’t you? Legit snort laugh!

  5. LCDR_Fish

    Shirley Maclaine in “What a Way to Go”. Gorgeous.

    • Ted S.

      And in the Robert Mitchum segment she gets enough costume changes that would have made Audrey Hepburn jealous.

      • Festus

        “Gamine”

      • LCDR_Fish

        The whole thing is hilarious – starting with when she wants to give the IRS all her money.

    • The Wanderer

      And cute as hell in “The Apartment”. But still crazy in real life.

  6. Trigger Hippie

    Has Jennifer Rubin ever ran across a totalitarian collectivist idea she didn’t approve of?

    She’s the “conservative” columnist who just happens to side with progressives every fucking time, yes?

    • Tonio

      Not an actual conservative. But claiming that she is allows WaPo to pretend they offer balance by having a “conservative” editorial writer.

      • Mad Scientist

        Something I will never understand is why editorials are even a thing.

      • DrOtto

        It’s to tell people, who are incapable of developing their own thoughts, what they should think based on team affiliation.

      • blackjack

        Somebody should write up an article explaining why editorials shouldn’t even exist.

      • Trigger Hippie

        So, she’s basically David Brooks, just more hateful. Got it.

      • Festus

        David Brooks with a cunte. She’s always been terrible.

      • wdalasio

        That seems unfair to David Brooks. He always struck me as a moron, but not an especially malicious one. Jennifer Rubin always seemed more of the high school mean girl.

      • TARDis

        So in keeping with the Birthday Links, she’s the Philippe Pétain of conservative journalism?

      • Trigger Hippie

        Heh. Seems like it.

    • blackjack

      Most of the people who want to hold someone down and forcibly inject them with the magic sacrament, have nowhere near the ability to even come close to accomplishing it. They need the government to do it for them. If the ‘vid was so scary and the vax so safe, there would be no reluctance. Well, the only info we get comes from obvious lying cheats, so I guess once that’s established, anyone in their right mind would be reluctant to play along.

      • creech

        “want to hold someone down ”
        Didn’t some cop just get in serious trouble for doing something like that?

    • Festus

      She and David Frum should contribute bits of their DNA thus creating NEOLIBCONASAURUS REX! They have no courage of conviction. In fact, they both lack courage or convictions. I’m being tested in my personal life lately. Thus far I’ve been standing firm against temptation and being the “Better Man”. I have convictions. I can weather this storm.

    • rhywun

      I need a shower after skimming that article. My goodness, she’s evil.

  7. LCDR_Fish

    So…figure I’ll ask some folks with experience. Looking towards the future. What is/are the best ways for getting a loan to buy land? I want to build a place on it eventually but probably not in the first couple of years.

    Conversely…what are the funding forms I should avoid at all costs?

    I’ve been bouncing a few ideas around but some of them have turned out to be less feasible than expected.

    • Festus

      All that I know is to avoid leased land at all costs. Fee simple if you can swing it. It’s the only reason that I’m not living in Victoria right now golfing year-round.

    • The Gunslinger

      We bought some property years ago (since sold) and we refinanced our house and lumped it on our mortgage. Gets you low interest rate but puts your house at risk and obviously requires you to have sufficient equity in your house. We ended up selling the property for a little more than we purchased it for after admitting to ourselves that we probably weren’t going to build.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Is that an option if it’s in another state from your house or completely up to the lender? Was the land cost itself less than the original cost of your house or did it not really matter?

      • The Gunslinger

        Don’t know about the state issues. We paid 50k for the property and I believe the refinance mortgage was for around 100k. Our house probably appraised for around 120k to 150k back then but I’m going from memory and my memory ain’t worth a shit anymore.

      • The Gunslinger

        Too be clear, the new combined mortgage was 100k.

    • Ted S.

      The answer to one of the questions is “Start an OnlyFans”.

      It’s left to the reader to determine which question this answers.

    • DrOtto

      How much is the land? If you have the means, a 401k loan is probably not a bad bet right now. I think the market is peaked and you’d be pulling money out of a retirement account at a market peak and paying yourself back with interest. If the market corrects during this period, you’ll be buying back in at cheaper stock prices. The downside is if the market keeps rallying, you miss out on that. Also, if you lose your job, the loan is typically due in full. And I believe you are limited to half the account balance up to a $40k loan.

      • LCDR_Fish

        That’s an option I’m strongly considering – still paying back on TSP loan, but I have the option to take out a 2nd one when it’s done (unfortunately I can’t use a “residential” TSP loan for land even if I want to build). However, I’d have to declare it as income if I retire from the reserves and can’t put money into it (unless I get a GS job first) – but the loss of income from getting out of the reserves – for that year – might make the hit not as bad. Alternatively….may wind up being worth it to do a couple extra years depending on other circumstances and my unit (assuming I don’t get forced out for high year tenure or other things).

        However, some of the land prices are higher than the loan options in that case. Just investigating options.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Just as income? Because for a 401k loan (plan terms may vary), it’s either pay it back if your sponsoring employment ends or it will be treated as a withdrawal if not (and subject to IRS penalties if not old enough in addition to normal income rates).

      • LCDR_Fish

        I’ll check again, but I think TSP has a bit more leeway for some things than traditional IRA.

    • Grummun

      If you’re looking for someone who will issue loans on unimproved rural or agricultural property, you can look at Farm Credit Services/Rural First. It’s mostly the same outfit, I think; our loan was originally through FCS, and they rebranded it to Rural First. Warning, FCS is, as far as I know, federally backed, like Fannie Mae. However, agricultural and rural loans is their target market. A lot of retail mortgage places cannot make loans on rural property, because they’re not going to service the loan, they’re going to turn around and sell the loan to Fannie Mae/Freddy Mac and those outfits do NOT loan on agricultural/rural. Disclaimer: my information may be out of date, it’s been ~13 years since we got this mortgage.

      If the property has agricultural value, you could try to find a local farmer to do an annual cash rent deal. It’s not going to pay the mortgage, but it’ll probably pay the property taxes, and if the land is being used agriculturally, you’ll get the discounted CAUV valuation, instead of residential.

    • blackjack

      Now that the whole future is blue, we must reverse everything Trump did, no matter the cost.

  8. Broswater

    Read that as ”Panty stuffed with potato chips, pretzels, and donuts.”

    Oh… New fetish. Ok well, you do you Old Man!

    • blackjack

      Dunno, but the square pieces are certainly landmine material!

  9. Not an Economist

    I would say hold onto your wallet but it is probably better to hide it.

    • Mad Scientist

      Good and hard.

    • Drake

      Trying their absolute best to crash the economy and create Great Depression II. Fox Business was talking about how the capital gains hike would lead to a sell off to foreign investors. The average cap gains tax in Euro land is 19%.

      • blackjack

        Feature, not a bug. It’s way easier to get a bunch of demoralized and poverty stricken people to accept a communist workers paradise than a healthy vibrant middle class.

    • Broswater

      ”Biden also is likely to raise more revenue from the wealthy by making changes to estate taxes.”

      I remember reading a study that showed that one of the last time they played with estate taxes, old people died en masse just before the changes would negatively affect the said estate.

      Why do you want to kill grandma?

    • Chafed

      Let’s see how Silicon Valley feels about that. His policies are coming home to roost.

  10. l0b0t

    There is a plaque honoring Marshall Petain in NYC’s Walk-Of-Heroes. Back in 2017, Deblasio promised to remove it, as he was taking heat for the rise of black on Jew violence, so he blamed white NAZIs. The commission he established to determine which wrongthinkers would have their statues torn down took almost 2 years (instead of the promised 90 days) and ended up telling the mayor that Petain, and everyone else, who have been honored in ticker-tape parades will remain on the Walk-Of-Heroes.

    • rhywun

      I worked on Broadway for many years and never paid much attention to all those plaques in the sidewalk. I bet there’s some other doozies in there too. I did notice that the only ticker-tape parades any more are for sports teams.

  11. The Late P Brooks

    If all the so-called public health experts in the world were dragged into the street and hacked to death with blunt farm implements, it would make the world a better place.

    Good morning, Globules.

    • Gender Traitor

      I’m thinking “public health” is the new “interstate commerce” all-purpose excuse for tyranny.

      • rhywun

        See: “racism is a public-health crisis”.

    • The Wanderer

      The problem isn’t so much the public health experts. They are making recommendations based on their narrow expertise. The real problem is the politicians listening to them, who don’t weigh their advice against advice from economists and common sense.

  12. DrOtto

    I was expecting Dennis Quaid when I clicked on worst fake cajun accent.

    • l0b0t

      I vaguely recall an episode of Knight Rider that purported to take place in Southern Louisiana (despite clearly being filmed in SoCal). All of the Cajuns sounded like Maurice Chevalier.

    • ignoreLander

      I was expecting Dennis Quaid when I clicked on worst fake cajun accent.

      Kevin Costner in JFK FTW.

      • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

        Costner’s known in Hollywood as being notoriously unable to do accents properly. His accent coach for Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, many years ago, gave up trying after a few weeks, and it shows in the movie.

  13. Tundra

    Good morning, Old Man!

    And good morning to the rest of you shiny happy people!

    Hold on to your wallets.

    Proggies are dangerous retards.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    Proggies are dangerous retards.

    They just want the magic healing pixie dust from your wallet, so they can fix all the bad things in the world.

    Don’t you want to fix all the bad things in the world?

  15. The Late P Brooks

    Just asking questions

    Senator Ted Cruz verbally sparred with a law student and his professor after the student questioned the Texas Republican for opposing Democrats wanting to add more justices to the Supreme Court. The student, Billy Berns, recorded the brief interaction and posted it online.

    Cruz on Friday wrote that he assumed the student “was a Dem tracker reciting talking points.” His message also read: “Not sure what’s more embarrassing: that he’s an actual law student who doesn’t know the difference btwn filling vacancies & packing the Court. Or that his law prof is proud of his ignorance & thinks it’s ‘giving me hell.'”

    On Thursday, Josh Chafetz, a law professor at Georgetown University, posted about the verbal exchange and video. He retweeted Berns’ video with the caption: “One of my students came across Ted Cruz’s anti-Court-packing press conference and naturally gave him hell…”

    GOTCHA!

    By hook, or by crook, the forces of social justice will prevail.

    • ignoreLander

      One of my students came across Ted Cruz’s anti-Court-packing press conference

      Like how they don’t even shy away from calling it what it is, court-packing? Indicative: they have won so much, have taken so much ground and encountered such little resistance, that they don’t even bother using false euphemisms anymore?

  16. l0b0t

    UGH… Adult swim has gifted us with a woke spinoff to Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law. It’s called Birdgirl, and it is terrible.

    • Gender Traitor

      Oh, lordy! If Adult Swim goes woke, we truly are lost. ::seeks out DVD or Blu-ray of The Oblongs, ideally NOT from too-woke Amazon:: Oh, good! I can get it from Best Buy! They haven’t released any “social justice” statements, have they? ::decides not to look too hard::

      • ignoreLander

        If Adult Swim goes woke, we truly are lost.

        I can’t attest to this personally, but I seem to recall hearing some time back they already went highly woke — can’t remember the details.

        Gone are the glory days of Space Ghost Coast to Coast and Sealab 2021.

    • rhywun

      Why are the diverse characters pushed over to the side? Do better, Adult Swim.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    As Cruz walked away from the podium following the press conference, Berns approached him and questioned him about Republicans trying to pack the court in the past with conservative justices. Cruz responded to his questions, saying Republicans were filling seat vacancies and not adding seats as the Democrats’ bill would do.

    Just because you hold the Senate and the White House, that doesn’t mean you have the right to nominate a justice politically to the right of Ginsberg!

    • creech

      AP 2/11/2028: “President Paul announced today, that he will ask the Senate to add 15 seats to the U.S. Supreme Court. Observers expect that conservatives would then have a 20 to 8 majority until such time as the Democrats regain control and add 73 more justices. Senators from the 112 states are expected to vote on President Paul’s proposal next Tuesday.”

      • Gender Traitor

        President Paul?? May I please join you in your fantasy future? That would be beyond my wildest dreams!

      • Gustave Lytton

        Bad news I’m afraid,,, it’s President Jake Paul.

      • Gender Traitor

        From State Farm?

  18. The Late P Brooks

    NYT headline:

    The Science of Climate Change, Explained: Facts, Evidence and Proof.

    SCIENCE!

    PROOF, I say!

    • rhywun

      The science you are not allowed to question, because that’s how science works.

    • Festus

      Can I get a “Harrumph” over here?

    • Festus

      Yeah, she’s funny! Regards, Sean!

    • Tejicano

      “Why didn’t you please your man with your mouth?

      Because he’s heard all my stories and it wasn’t the time for poetry”

  19. The Late P Brooks

    Fearless leader

    US President Joe Biden appeared to be the only world leader wearing a mask during a virtual climate summit hosted by the White House.

    Leaders who could be seen maskless on the call Friday included Russian president Vladimir Putin, German chancellor Angela Merkel, Turkish president Recep Tayyip Erdoğan, and EU leaders Ursula von der Leyen and Charles Michel. Mr Biden may have been wearing a mask to protect others in close proximity, and to model mask-wearing for Americans.

    SCIENCE!

    The man is setting an example. He is the leader we need in this difficult time.

    • Festus

      My company is insisting on triple layer masks. My Province is policing travel between “Health Departments”. Road-blocks and the like. “Papieres Bitte!” It happened so fast that we couldn’t react. I thought that I’d be long dead before this happened. Guess I was sorely mistaken.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Make them buy you a box of medical style “paper” facemasks. More comfortable than the cloth smotherers and is three layers by default.

      • CPRM

        Those paper ones hurt my ears. Well, they all hurt my ears, but those more-so. Ware a damn mask 8hrs for, ware a damn mask (CPAP) for 8 hours for sleep. My ears are fucking sick of this shit.

      • Festus

        I won’t comply.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Well, make them buy it anyway and any other pseudo PPE they want. Even if it gathers dust in a closet.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        How big is a health department?

        Glad you seem to be feeling better.

      • Festus

        No. The proper response is “How many Divisions does the Health Department have”? Fuck it. I’m done with complying.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        So 5 in BC?

    • rhywun

      I saw a side shot. His nearest neighbors were like ten feet away.

      • Festus

        Just out of sniff-shot,

    • Tejicano

      I saw that on Youtube but wasn’t sure if it was real or just something somebody put together. I actually gave him more credit than to believe he would be masked during a Zoom meeting.

    • Mad Scientist

      He needed the mask because the ventriloquist hasn’t worked out how to move his lips yet.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Damn your nimble fingers!

    • Gustave Lytton

      Mr Biden may have been wearing a mask so that his handlers didn’t have to worry about his lips matching the dub in real time.

    • Broswater

      Wow, even the Shiny Pony didn’t have one. You guys are screwed.

      • Festus

        Maxine’s puppeteer must do line of coke every time… It’s like watching a retarded Muppet.

    • KSuellington

      Aren’t we getting close to that 100 days yet? Ha! I doubt the media will even bring that up.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        I think today is day 95.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I think the WH addressed it and shifted the responsibility onto the CDC which just the other day, waffled on the question. So on day 720 of the Harris Administration, they will come to a conclusion that masks are now part of the United Citizen uniform that all members of society are required to wear.

      • KSuellington

        We are now just past the one year mark on the mask mandate here. What little faith I had in health science has been absolutely ground into dust. There are decades of studies showing little to no benefit to masking in regards protection from contagious respiratory viruses. Yet here we are where it appears that masking will be required for years more to come even with a vaccinated population. I was done with the fucking things a year ago.

      • blackjack

        NO! It all began just now. We had to figure it all out from scratch. In the beginning, we thought that masks were not good, but then Fauchi came across a burning bush in the desert and the true knowledge was imparted upon him. Only this divine intervention has the power to save mankind. Now, it’s up to us to go forth and spread the gospel.

      • Gender Traitor

        the WH addressed it and shifted the responsibility onto the CDC

        If Harry Truman were alive today, he’d be spinning in his grave.

      • Nephilium

        United Citizen uniform

        I never thought this would be how we reached the jumpsuit future.

      • UnCivilServant

        Did you honestly think fashion would become so uniform without it?

    • zwak

      Masks are the new copper bracelet and Nazi armband rolled into one.

  20. CPRM

    Working on the next cartoon. Might be one of those love it or hate type things, but meh, I’m tired.

    • rhywun

      ??

    • Festus

      Hey, Buddy! So glad to hear that it wasn’t so bad, health-wise! We’ll watch your cartoon, regardless.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Slurp slurp slurp

    For all of the statecraft that went into it, President Biden’s virtual climate summit this week ultimately boiled down to one thing: the diplomatic version of a grand romantic gesture.

    Biden needed to prove that the United States was committed to its relationship with the global coalition fighting climate change. To show that he knew the country had strayed before, but this time, other nations could trust that the U.S. was really serious about making it work.

    How did the planet survive four years of President Cartoon Villain?

    Why isn’t Earth just a lifeless smoldering hunk of space debris?

    • SDF-7

      Alternately, the world could understand the US political system (only been 250+ years folks) and that a “treaty” that isn’t ratified in the Senate isn’t worth the paper it is written on.

      Of course — it would also be nice if politicians (and a good chunk of the people) would stop thinking the Presidency is a rotating God-King of the economy as well, but here we are.

      I know, I know… preaching… choir… Sigh.

    • Festus

      Dear Lord. I thought the knob-gobbling of “Chocolate Jesus” was a little over the top. Now we need to contend with this? Stop the ride, I want off.

      • wdalasio

        I think it’s a little different this time around. With Obama, they really were creaming their panties. With Biden, it seems a lot more desperate to convince themselves, more than anything. They got their senile hack in with dubious election results and he’s doing a full court presses throw the country down the toilet beyond anything that, even in their wettest dreams could be considered a mandate. I think even they know it isn’t going to end well and they’re doing their damnedest to put a happy face on it.

      • Festus

        There’s bread but no circuses.

    • KSuellington

      I was just reading that China has in the works for the next several years to build more coal plants than the entire US capacity of coal burning plants. That is not including the ones that they currently have. They are laughing their asses off at our abject stupidity.

    • blackjack

      To show that he knew the country had strayed before, but this time, other nations could trust that the U.S. was really serious about making it work

      Honest babe, I don’t even know that other planet. It was just a fling and it’ll never happen again, I swear!

      • Gender Traitor

        “I didn’t mean to hit you! It’s just that sometimes you make me so mad!”

    • R C Dean

      To show that he knew the country had strayed before

      The country that beat its goals in Paris Accords? One of the few that did so? That country?

  22. The Late P Brooks

    About 100 days in, several key themes have emerged in how Biden deals with the rest of the world. The most notable: a goal of centering most foreign policy decisions around how they affect America’s middle class.

    Daleep Singh, a deputy national security adviser and deputy director of Biden’s National Economic Council, explained that means “boosting job creation and also wage growth” for families and workers. “And in doing so, [we] can reduce long-standing racial and social disparities.”

    I’m convinced.

    Bring on the New World Order.

    • Mad Scientist

      Hey, you know what would really help the middle class? A good, hard tax increase, and while we’re at it, let’s reduce the petroleum supply and raise fuel prices. Think of the prosperity!

      • Festus

        Yep. This Essential Worker can’t wait to pay 50% more for his fuel to get to his Essential Job! Double-plus good!

    • CPRM

      a goal of centering most foreign policy decisions around how they affect America’s middle class.

      so…America First?

      • Festus

        Free shit and buying votes.

    • SDF-7

      a goal of centering most foreign policy decisions around how the affect America’s middle class

      Affect == screw over, but hey… they’re certainly focused on it…

  23. The Late P Brooks

    while we’re at it, let’s reduce the petroleum supply and raise fuel prices. Think of the prosperity!

    Don’t forget the increase in food prices from more expensive fertilizers and fuel.

    With any luck, we’ll price meat right off the tables of the middle class. Think how much healthier we’ll be.

    • tripacer

      Wait until Evergreen State College in the Evergreen State hears of this! Checkmate, Geoducks!

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Cute corgi.

    • Gender Traitor

      The only acceptable logo along those lines is….a shrubbery!

    • Ownbestenemy

      I see the problem, its a white person advocating for the evergreen, so yep, mark this down as racist.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Hilarious how ignorant these people are. An evergreen, particularly the common firs of the northwest, is the last sort of tree you’d use for a hanging. The branches are thin and scraggly on smaller trees and excessively high (and prone to snapping) on taller trees. A good solid deciduous like an oak or maple is what you want.

      • Ownbestenemy

        It isn’t ignorance. I believe they are all aware but this gets them whatever they want.

  24. The Late P Brooks

    Make them buy you a box of medical style “paper” facemasks.

    Make them buy you a full tilt biohazard space suit.

    • Gustave Lytton

      ^^^ like how this guy thinks. Shift the cost to the company, the bean counters always win.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Ooh.. just saw your hack job proposal up thread too.

    • Festus

      Judi would applaud, at least when it pertained to bed-time. The Boy That Lived in the Plastic Bubble.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    What part of “novel” don’t you understand?

    Dr. Scott Gottlieb told CNBC on Friday he believes the United States may struggle to reach “true herd immunity” to Covid, suggesting coronavirus infections will be around in the years ahead.

    However, the former commissioner of the U.S. Food and Drug Administration stressed that new cases alone should not be the metric receiving the most focus as more people are vaccinated against Covid.

    “I don’t think we should be thinking about achieving herd immunity. I don’t know that we ever achieve true herd immunity, where this virus just stops circulating,” Gottlieb said on “Closing Bell.” “I think it’s always going to circulate at a low level. That should be the goal, to keep the level of virus down.”

    ——-

    Public health experts have stressed throughout the pandemic that as more people in a population have immunity protection for a particular virus, the less readily it will spread. However, while vaccines have been shown to reduce transmission, Gottlieb is not the first to suggest reaching durable herd immunity for Covid is likely to be challenging.

    White House chief medical advisor Dr. Anthony Fauci has estimated that 75% to 85% of the population being vaccinated against Covid would create an “umbrella” of immunity. “That would be able to protect even the vulnerables who have not been vaccinated or those in which the vaccine has not been effective,” he told CNBC in December shortly after the FDA granted Pfizer’s vaccine emergency use authorization.

    ——-

    Gottlieb has previously said the U.S. could, in theory, get to a point where Covid is eradicated like other diseases such as polio and smallpox. “It’s possible. We don’t seem to be prepared to do it and take the collective action that it’s going to require,” he told CNBC on April 16.

    “It will require people exercising some civic virtue to get vaccinated even if they individually feel they’re at low risk of the infection,” he said. “Because even if they’re personally low risk they can still get and transmit the infection, and you can’t eradicate a disease where you have a significant contingent of people who are going to continue to catch it and transmit it.”

    They want you to think this is a completely new and unique phenomenon, for which we had no previously extant framework of understanding whatsoever. It’s like it came from space.

    Nothing which has been learned in the past five hundred thousand years is applicable.

    Civic virtue is our only hope. That, and iron-fisted authoritarianism.

    • EvilSheldon

      Yeah, I’ve seen what ‘civic virtue’ gets me. Thanks, but I think I’ll stick with, ‘Fuck everyone else, I do what I like.’

    • blackjack

      It’s vital that people who have nothing to fear from the virus inject an experimental drug into their arms. How else are we going to prevent the virus that has almost no ill effects on 85-95% of the people who contract it from spreading? These fucking people are so desperate to obscure the fact that this virus was used as an excuse to seize power for team blue. The bonus in their minds is they think it’s showing how effective government is at handling emergencies. LOL!

    • R C Dean

      “true herd immunity” to Covid, suggesting coronavirus infections will be around in the years ahead

      Err, herd immunity isn’t every single member of the herd is absolutely immune. Its that enough are immune that it can’t spread much.

  26. DEG

    At some point, only the willfully ignorant and destructive will remain unvaccinated. Once that happens, employers, retail establishments, entertainment venues, public buildings, public transportation, colleges and (when vaccines are approved for children) K-12 schools should insist that people present a secure form of proof of vaccination before entering.

    Rubin can go fuck herself.

    The comments are…. stupid.

    Old Guy Music is good.

  27. Bob Boberson

    Sitting on an airplane waiting for take off. Proggie-looking boomer couple next to me is religiously sterilizing their tray tables and arm rests with alcohol wipes. Didn’t the CDC come out and say that covid transmissions via surfaces is basically not a thing? WHY AREN’T THEY FOLLOWING THE SCIENCE?!??!111

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Eh, one can still catch other things from fomites.

    • Tundra

      To be fair (*insert Letterkenny vignette*), I was a plane sanitizer years before the ‘vid.

      People are fucking disgusting.

      • Bob Boberson

        Fair enough

      • Gustave Lytton

        Me too. There are other diseases than covid and general disgusting stuff. Now that the CDC has given the all clear*, goodbye clean seats and hotel rooms and back to the way it was before.

      • Bob Boberson

        I just stayed in a hotel for 3 weeks and the coof hasn’t made things cleaner. Hilton only cleans your room upon request now. Several times I asked and the desk clerk wrote my room number down and failed to tell the cleaning staff. Bar and full breakfast also shut down. So basically Double tree has kept their prices the same while offering half the amenities. Fuck all this shit

    • KSuellington

      They likely have one of those annoying “in this house we believe science is real” signs up in their front window too. We are going to be flying in two months to Mexico and I am absolutely dreading the three hour plane ride and airport time on departure and arrival. I don’t do well with the mask thing. I’ve been thinking of buying one of those fake masks (the one that is not blatantly obviously fake) for the journey. Don’t know if they will call me out on it though.

      • Bob Boberson

        Minimally compliant masked .com

        I have the cotton gauze one. I don’t know if I could stand this shit without it.

      • Bob Boberson

        Masks*

      • Tundra

        They let you on the plane with it? Cool. Imma get one.

      • KSuellington

        That’s exactly what I’m going to do. I guess if they don’t like it they can give me the blue mask of shame.

      • Tundra

        I ordered a black one. Worth a shot.

      • rhywun

        Nice. Ordering a couple for upcoming commuting and officing.

      • Tundra

        They will. I wasn’t allowed to wear a gaiter on the plane. They gave me one of those blue idiot masks.

    • Tejicano

      When I see people wiping things down like this it just reminds me of how many people have no clue about the differences between a bacteria and a virus. Not just scale (buffalo vs cockroach) but function (requires nutrients vs requires a host). Seriously motherfucker, can I sell you a clue?

      • R C Dean

        Of course, practically nobody wipes down surfaces properly. It generally takes a “wet time” of 30 seconds to a minute to actually sanitize a surface.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    Didn’t the CDC come out and say that covid transmissions via surfaces is basically not a thing?

    You can’t erase religious beliefs with a press release.

    • Muzzled Woodchipper

      You can, however, create wholly new religious beliefs via press release.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, U.

      • Gender Traitor

        A little chilly here, but I’ve toughed it out and indulged in my Recommended Weekend Morning Allowance of back porch time. It’s going to rain soon, so no yard work (darn it!) Hoping to get in some reading (and maybe a tiny bit of writing) this afternoon. Howzabout you?

      • UnCivilServant

        Woke up at 5:20, looked at the clock and went “nah, it’s Saturday” went back to sleep and slept in till 11.

      • Gender Traitor

        I got up only about an hour later than I do on weekdays, so I reserve the right to take a nap this afternoon.

      • UnCivilServant

        I want to get another three mile walk in today. I wasn’t up for it yesterday, my left calf complained close to the 2 mile mark. Thankfully the 3 mile route and 3.8 mile routes pass my house at the 2 mile mark.

      • Gender Traitor

        I wonder if I should try to give my treadmill some other purpose than being a clothes rack today…

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, if you’re going to get rained on, it might be the better walking option.

        I have a chronic inability to stay on a treadmill.

      • Gender Traitor

        …but first I should probably go procure some more cat food before the coming deluge.

  29. The Wanderer

    My greatest LAX moment was when I just happened to be standing curbside, right next to Peter O’Toole meeting Shirley McLaine. I got to overhear their entire conversation.

    She was old and overweight. He was drunk off his ass, but but graciously and effusively told her how wonderful it was to meet her for the first time, and offered her a ride in his limo. She declined demurely.

    OK, that’s the whole story, but fucking Peter O’Toole, drunk and charming as hell.

    • The Wanderer

      My greatest, and only, sax player moment was meeting Eddie “Cleanhead” Vinson in a blues club. Well, I didn’t actually meet him so much as stand next to him while he was making a phone call or something.

      • zwak

        I played pool for a couple of hours with the bass player from the Deftones.

        Had no idea thats who he was.

      • The Wanderer

        Cool!

  30. The Late P Brooks

    fucking Peter O’Toole, drunk and charming as hell.

    The Ruling Class, FTW!

    • The Wanderer

      Wait… Peter O’Toole is ruling class?

  31. Festus

    How fucked up is it that in order for a custodian to keep his job, he must jump through virtual hoops? Judi helped me through it but as I said, “See ya next month!” I’m old and giving less of a shit with each passing day. I wonder what would happen if I just started ignoring their dictates.