391 Comments

  1. Count Potato

    “Daily Covid deaths dropped to lowest point in year.”

    So maybe this shit will finally be over?

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      *Laughs in govenor*

      • Count Potato

        I think governors want to get re-elected, so there is some limit there.

      • DEG

        A lot of governors’ terms end in 2022. Eyeballing the list, I’d say a little more than half aren’t term limited.

      • db

        Sadly, Wolf is term limited, and we have no recall mechanism here in PA, so, barring a major scandal, we’re stuck with the fucker for the duration.

      • DEG

        While he can’t run in 2022, Wolf could, if he wanted to, run in 2026. PA governors are limited to two consecutive terms and there is no limit on total number of terms.

        I need to move fast to avoid the rotten tomatoes…..

      • db

        dammit, DEG, why you have to do things like that?

      • Rat on a train

        I can hear Harris cackling from here.

      • rhywun

        *shudder*

    • Count Potato

      “The incident happened on Saturday after two health inspectors arrived at the Corduroy restaurant in Vancouver to serve a closure notice for serving patrons indoors against COVID-19 guidelines, CBC reported on Sunday.”

      Vancouver is very liberal/progressive or whatever they call it up there, isn’t it?

      • Agent Cooper

        It’s Canada’s Seatte.

      • Chafed

        It is. So that shows you how America’s hat is looking at things.

      • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

        Interesting to me (having recently moved from the Lower Rainland™) is that Corduroy Restaurant is in Kitsilano (or “Schizolano,” as the locals call it because of the high number of kooks who seem to live there), one of the most liberal places in the fucking galaxy, not just the Lower Rainland™. If good ol’ Schiz’ is starting to push back, it would appear that the days of hard-ass public health orders there are numbered.

        Couldn’t happen to a nicer socialist government. Vancouver’s needed an asteroid strike or a famine for some time now.

    • WTF

      This shit won’t be over until enough people refuse to put up with it anymore.

    • AlexinCT

      How many of the reported daily deaths are really Kung Flu now though? Cause we all know some portion of that number has always been bullshit…

      • WTF

        Pay no attention to the fact that seasonal flu deaths have somehow dropped to almost non-existent.

      • Lazer

        Tom Woods had a guy on his podcast who explained this. It was really interesting. New viruses actually do take over from older ones. He explained that Sweden, who has not locked down has the same statistics. He also said in the past (I forget which year) that a new flu strain came about and the older one, which had been the main one, was over taken and then not heard from again. (Laymens terms)

      • Lazer

        Episode 1862, with Ivor Cummins. I believe that is the correct one.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        If only his accent wasn’t so distractingly similar to Chris O’Dowd’s.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        weren’t

      • AlexinCT

        Most new flu strains come from Asia, and specifically China, for some reason… Travel bans might have had a lot to do with that…

  2. UnCivilServant

    Morning, Banjos.

    Is that a tortise goat or a goat tortise?

    • Old Man With Candy

      Manbearpig.

    • The Gunslinger

      Looks like tortoise goat yoga to me

      • AlexinCT

        Looks like a slacker copping a free ride from the less fortunate to me…

        /sjw asshat

      • Tejicano

        Sheesh! Kids these days!

      • J. Frank Parnell

        Tortoise Goat Yoga was my favorite Captain Beefheart album.

    • db

      “YOU WILL DROP AND GIVE ME TWENTY WHILE I STAND ON YOUR BACK, MAGGOT!”

      • AlexinCT

        DO PUSHUPS UNTIL I AM TIRED YOU FUCKING TADPOLE!

  3. rhywun

    the only way this will stop is to seriously hurt their pocketbooks.

    Narrator: “It won’t stop.”

  4. OBJ FRANKELSON

    <Conservatives, stop trying to point out logical flaws. These people don’t give a shit about logic, it’s all about power

    This. Marxists see the world in terms of power. The acquisition of power is the only virtue to these people. Reason is only use when it gets them to that end and can be discarded when it does not.

    I am not sure how we resist them without punching 5.56mm holes in them

    • Sean

      It’s more appropriate to shoot them with com-bloc calibers, just sayin’.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Perhaps the author is trying to appeal to other logical people, not the unreasonable subject.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        It always strikes me as akin to the kid who’s calling a bunch of fouls in a game of pickup basketball at the park. That may be the rules in sanctioned refereed basketball, but the other team is playing by “no blood, no foul” rules, and you look ridiculous calling ticky tack fouls while playing in a parking lot.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Great analogy. Right now the repubs are playing pickup on their field. Their field, their rules and those rules are whatever they need to be for the current situation. When the repubs had the field they acted like it was a game of cricket in an English countryside, until Trump came up to bat and they banded together and sent him home kicking dirt.

        Then there is us, sitting on the curb thinking…maybe we should just take our ball and go home.

    • AlexinCT

      These people react to logic/facts like vampires react to sunlight/garlic/holy water/holy symbols…

    • Fatty Bolger

      You can’t shame the shameless, but stuff like this filters through quite well to the people who normally aren’t paying attention, so it’s worth doing.

      • DEG

        Yep.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      It was always going to be interesting to see what site they picked after pulling out of Georgia. I did not see picking a state with existing voter ID laws though.

    • Jarflax

      By punching .3 inch holes in them?

  5. Count Potato

    “Border agents have been using their own discretion to release migrants — some have even been released without receiving a court date. The use of such discretion by Border Patrol is unprecedented and, some say, is a sign of just how overwhelmed parts of the border have become. In the past, migrants released have largely been dropped off at shelters or bus stations. But now, they are being taken to places that don’t have the resources to help, such as Gila Bend and Yuma.

    The latest desert drop-offs in Gila Bend happened without much, if any, notice and have left the community scrambling.

    Officials in Gila Bend were told that the releases would increase in pace, as many as two per week, indefinitely. That kind of foot traffic is likely to inundate the community of fewer than 2,000 residents.

    “To drop people in basically the middle of nowhere, it’s 30 miles to the next type of town, and that’s 30 miles of open desert,” Mayor Chris Riggs said. “So, especially come July and August, we’re going to be finding bodies.””

    How about dropping them off in Mexico?

    • WTF

      How about dropping them off in Mexico?

      And have Biden be the deporter in chief? Never gonna happen.

      • Count Potato

        Obama was.

    • Strange Brew

      I live on the border and I’m headed off to work. I will probably see 3 or 4 illegals on my way, that’s about average. I drive thru the main part of town but it’s only 2 miles to my job. If I really wanted to spend time searching for illegals I could probably find a dozen in less than an hour. Most of them are just passing through on their way to Los Angeles, San Jose, Fresno, or other larger cities. The human landscape has become a mixture of homeless, illegals, and fat unemployed mask wearer’s.

  6. Strange Brew

    “New Yorkers fork over the highest taxes in the country”

    California says hold my beer.

  7. Sean

    Seriously, just stop. It’s a power game, the only way this will stop is to seriously hurt their pocketbooks.

    I can’t boycott companies that I’m not currently supporting.

    • Rat on a train

      Double secret boycott?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Yeah, that was my thought as well.

    • Agent Cooper

      Boycotts never work — not at larger scale.

  8. Rebel Scum

    And that an absolutely beautiful day it always is!

    I assume someone needs coffee.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I damn sure do. I’m dragging today.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Going in for 2nd coffee and work just started…feeling it, working it.

    • The Gunslinger

      I tooled down to the ocean on a beach cruiser and watched the waves roll in for awhile. Now I’m going to have some more coffee.

  9. Rebel Scum

    The number of COVID-19 deaths per day reported in the U.S. dropped to its lowest point in more than a year on Sunday, with the country documenting 222 fatalities.

    And even that number is bs.

    • Akira

      I hope someone does a retrospective audit of the COVID death numbers someday. I bet you’d see a huge reduction if you just excluded:
      – Car accidents, gunshot wounds, etc.
      – People who had it, cleared it, then died of something else months later

      The real doozy would be if you could determine which elderly + chronically ill people didn’t belong in COVID deaths. If someone is 90 years old with one or more terminal health conditions, then they get COVID and die some time later, there’s a real knowledge problem with determining what actually killed them. Maybe it was exclusively COVID, maybe COVID was completely irrelevant, and maybe COVID was just the straw that broke the camel’s back. I don’t claim to know what the actual COVID death number should be – I’m just saying that nobody really does, and nobody should be parroting this 300,000+ number that the corporate media is throwing out.

      The most disappointing thing is seeing otherwise intelligent people swallow that number whole with no skepticism whatsoever. It shouldn’t be that hard to THINK about how statistics are compiled and the errors/deception that are so easily baked in.

    • Chafed

      It’s no surprise the teachers union is delighted.

    • Rat on a train

      Loh intends to keep schools closed for at least two weeks

      • Gdragon

        By now everyone here knows what “at least” means 😉

      • UnCivilServant

        RoaT’s head is going to float off and explode?

  10. Ownbestenemy

    Damn near finally…after all the SCIENCE! My teens will be going ‘back’ to school…..for 3 hours, 3 days a week. Whatever, I get 3 hours unmolested by those teenage terrors.

    • Rat on a train

      Did they ensure the 3 hours weren’t the same each day? Maybe even split them with a long break requiring you to pick them up for a long lunch break and then bring the back.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Heh. No its 3 hours each morning, for those three days then they have a long lunch and back to “sleep at school” video. However they made reading the schedule harder than reading my wiring diagrams on a Westinghouse ASR-9 surveillance radar.

  11. Rebel Scum

    Gaetz defends himself.

    But he has an ‘R’ next to his name, ergo he is guilty.

    • Sean

      And racist!

      • Festus

        Gaetz is a firebrand but also a Congressman therefore he is a shit-heel by definition. They’re all of them “ReDarded”.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Isn’t that what McCain said? I am sure I read that somewhere….she said “The most likely scenario is that Matt Gaetz slept with a 17-year-old and sex trafficked her, and he is probably gonna go to jail.”

      That is the most likely? Or a wet dream that gets your panties wet?

      • Festus

        I don’t want to think about any of the McCain’s panties getting wet. Not even John’s when he kept getting shot down or crashing of his own volition.

  12. Festus

    That restaurant video is from one of the most wealthy and Uber-woke conclaves of the most Uber-woke City in Canada… Perhaps there is hope. Mornin’ Banjos!

    • Gdragon

      Meanwhile, in Ontario… I think there is “hope” but I think my bag of optimism might have a hole in it.

      • Festus

        Is Peel a wealthy enclave? Just curious. I don’t know that much about Ontario other than pointing at stuff on a map. Serious question.

      • Gdragon

        Peel is made up of Mississauga, Brampton and Caledon. Caledon has dough but the other two have immigrant populations and are relatively working class (the story seems to be that this is why their numbers are bad, lots of “essential workers” still having to go in to the Amazon warehouse and whatnot).

        The children of Dr. Loh of course do not attend school in the region that he is closing down, no surprise there 😉

      • Gdragon

        Worth adding as well that Caledon has just 5% or so of the population in the region, it’s mostly the other two regions.

      • Old Man With Candy

        I used to do work in Mississauga and Brampton- the local nickname for the area is Browntown. Want some chile paneer, that’s your place.

      • Gdragon

        No need to worry
        If you want some tandoori
        There’s a place I know…

        Petula was a sweet girl, she couldn’t sing that one 😉

      • C. Anacreon

        Whenever I hear “Downtown” I still mentally substitute the 1960s Mad magazine parody lyrics, where a frustrated diner keeps getting served “Ground Round!”

      • rhywun

        I was wondering how Publix (or anyone else) is making money off this “deal”.

        From what I saw, TMITE are just assuming it without stating exactly how.

      • Agent Cooper

        More traffic to their stores, I suppose, but it’s wholly stupid since Publix is the largest supermarket chain in Florida. I mean, it would be the place to make vaccines available if you wanted to get it to the most people the fastest.

      • Festus

        It was a cynical hit-job. Next!

    • Ownbestenemy

      In a sane world, 60 minutes would be immediately pulled from the schedule. But it won’t and the damage is done and nothing else will happen.

      • Nephilium

        Why?

        Dateline is still on the air and treated as news.

        TLDR blurb:

        NBC attached remote-controlled model rocket engines to the truck to ensure it would catch fire. Network officials retreated behind a curtain of no comments yesterday while their attorneys were hammering out a settlement with GM.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I said sane world…we do not live in a sane world. The American public loves this shit. Its their palace intrigue that our Founders deprived them of back in the olden times.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Well…its long and black and scary. Can you blame them?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Pump-action AR-15?

        I’m interested.

      • Nephilium

        FFS. I’m not a gun guy, but even I know that an AR-15 doesn’t use shotgun shells, nor is it pump action. I wonder how much fear they would try to stoke if they knew that all over the country there are multiple gangs of people paying money to run around and shoot .68 caliber rounds out of fully automatic weapons at each other.

      • Nephilium

        Well alright then, I stand corrected. I’ll make sure to put my retraction on this thread in about 8-10 days when it’ll get the readership it deserves. 🙂

      • bacon-magic

        Cat butt him!

      • Agent Cooper

        If I were a watermelon, I would be terrified.

    • R C Dean

      At what point does lying by omission cross the Sullivan threshold and become malicious?

      • Festus

        When TPTB decide that they’re good and ready.

      • Ownbestenemy

        “An intern was assigned to trim down the interview and was a bit zealous. We have reprimanded the intern, who is unpaid and a little girl, so its all good now” And nothing else will happen.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’d be interested in reading any pre-interview legal agreements.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      At some point, you’re just a fool for going on these programs.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Correct. You have to know that you’re gonna be edited into sounding like the devil himself if you go on any of those shows as a conservative. At the very least, retain your own unedited video recording of the interview.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        sweet sweet can

      • Festus

        *Pictures Sipowisc running over a cat*

      • Agent Cooper

        However! The result is actually has been somewhat of a boon for DeSantis.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Is this making the rounds in TMITE? Or is it just conservative Twitter up in arms?

      • Agent Cooper

        When Florida Democrats are calling out 60 Minutes, the new story is the hit job, not the original story.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Fair enough. I’m still skeptical that this will get legs, but with bipartisan pushback there’s at least a chance that the other vultures turn on 60 minutes and CBS.

    • Rebel Scum

      Serious news for serious people.

    • AlexinCT

      The real problem is that there are many people that when they are shown this reality will simply choose to ignore the fact that their news sources are making up shit, because they need to maintain that confirmation bias. That’s the stuff that really fucking scares me. My reaction when I find out someone has tried to play me is to never believe them and reevaluate anything they told me. So many people will just dismiss it and keep trucking along with the evil shit. Looks at the Russia collusion shit. You would figure the fucking people that were played by these cuntes would be so angry as to never again trust these fucking lying scumbags. Instead they memory holed.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        The only way to make them stop using TMITE as a crutch for their diseased worldviews is to mercilessly mock them when they cite to TMITE.

        “Ha, you believe that bullshit? You must be stupider than you look.”

      • Ownbestenemy

        I have tried that…it is not as effective as it should be. These instances are brushed aside easily in their minds. They are that far gone.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        It doesn’t surprise me, given how much weight TMITE is carrying to keep their warped worldview standing. That said, it may take many iterations, but eventually they either get red pilled, or disengage and fall into nihilism.

      • R C Dean

        Yup. You get written off as the conspiracy theorist.

        Ask me how I know.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        ???

        I didn’t vote for Trump in 2016 (I didn’t vote, period), but I voted for him in 2020 simply because of the mendacity and lunacy on the left.

        But I know people who are still fully bought into the Russian Collusion narrative while simultaneously ignoring the evidence that Biden has been selling influence for years, if not decades.

  13. Tundra

    Good morning, Banjos!

    People are finally starting to fight back.

    I’m aroused.

    “Harassment of enforcement officials will not be tolerated, and closure orders by Vancouver Coastal Health or any other health authority must be respected,” Farnworth said in the statement. The health minister also told CBC that the rules regarding indoor dining were “very clear” and said the rules were “necessary” to stop the spread of COVID-19.

    Very aroused.

    The border stuff isn’t arousing at all. I feel for everyone involved, except the shitheads responsible for the mess. I was on the border in TX last week (I may have even crossed the Rio Grande), but there were no migrants there. Just awesome Mexicans selling goods and food to the tourists. Illegally, of course. Because rules.

    Why do pretty girls do the cow nose-ring thing? Good song, though.

    It’s a bright, sunny day here in the People’s Republic. Yesterday it got up to 83 degrees. I do love me some global warming.

    I hope each and every one of you have a fantastic day!

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I’m aroused.

      Then this should get your boner really going.

      https://www.patheos.com/blogs/thefreethinker/2021/04/police-retreat-from-church-after-priest-calls-them-nazi-psychopaths/

      Police came to disrupt Church gathering! Gestapo came again to intimidate the church parishioners during the Passover Celebration!!! Unbelievable.

      Nazis are not welcome here! Do not come back you Nazi psychopaths. Unbelievable sick, evil people. Intimidating people in a church during the Passover! You Gestapo, Nazi, communist fascists! Don’t you dare come back here!

      Can you imagine those psychopaths? Passover. The holiest Christian festival of the year and they’re coming to intimidate Christians during the holiest festival? Unbelievable. What is wrong with those sick psychopaths. It’s beyond me. How dare they?

      Unbelievable, we’re living in a total takeover of the government with their thugs, goons, the brown shirts, the Gestapo wannabe dictators. Coming to the church armed with guns and tasers and handcuffs to intimidate during Passover celebration?

      Well I guess that’s what it is, they want to enslave us all like the Egyptians did. They want to be the Pharaohs of today, that’s what they’re doing. Unbelievable. People, if you don’t stand up, wake up, I don’t know what will happen tomorrow.

      • Ownbestenemy

        POLISH priest Artur Pawlowski, above, went batshit crazy when cops showed up….

        I know its a blog but the all caps make that sentence pretty unaware of their own bat-shit craziness.

      • Tundra

        That was a good one. Just flat-out calling them filth.

        You can always count on the Poles.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I hereby formally apologize for all the Polack jokes I made in elementary school.

      • Nephilium

        It’s alright, they didn’t get them anyway.

      • Ownbestenemy

        They are still trying to figure out why their helicopter ejection system had such a high death rate.

      • Nephilium

        One that only works well in written form:

        Did you hear about the Pole who thought his wife was trying to kill him? He saw she had a bottle of Polish Remover on the nightstand.

      • db

        I thought I saw once a design for a helicopter ejection system that either released the blades or hard-stopped the rotor before ejection. Maybe it was a pyrotechnic blade release or cut, since trying to hard stop the rotor would induce such a powerful torque effect that it might snap the necks of anyone still alive on board.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’d pay money to watch the test runs of that system.

      • Rat on a train

        GI Joe perfected helicopter ejection back in the 80s.

      • Festus

        That’s what happens when your Nation gets spit-roasted for Centuries.

      • Pope Jimbo

        The Calgary po-po issued a statement saying that only one of their cops had been there and it was only because the inspectors asked them to be.

        The statement might be more believable if I hadn’t counted at least three goons with “POLICE” stenciled across the back of their body armor.

        Shine on you crazy Canucks! Set an example for your poor benighted southern neighbors.

    • bacon-magic

      The cow nose-ring is for a purpose.

      • Swiss Servator

        Ah, but too late for me….

        /old n’ married

      • bacon-magic

        Put some bunny ears on her and say you saved her from the shelter.

    • Count Potato

      “Abusive or inappropriate language or conduct deemed disorderly, unruly or disruptive including inappropriate dress may constitute grounds for ejection or refusal of admission,” the team said in a March 31 release. “This includes headdresses and face paint styled in a way that references or appropriates American Indian cultures and traditions.”

      Oh, fuck off.

      • Nephilium

        The team did clarify that Chief Wahoo apparel was still permitted under the new regime rules.

    • Ownbestenemy

      The rest of the description helps solidify it also. No self-respecting black man wears a striped polo shirt!

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Another victim of white supremacist thinking.

    • Pope Jimbo

      In the Marines, you have “light green” and “dark green” Marines. Maybe this is more of the same? Everyone gets to be a supremacist? Just some are light white and others are dark white.

      • UnCivilServant

        What does that even mean?

      • Ownbestenemy

        For a writer, I question you sometimes.

      • UnCivilServant

        I expected this to be in response to my Tolkein comments.

        I still can’t figure out what Jimbo said.

      • Ownbestenemy

        There is no black, white, brown, yellow in the Marines, you are just different shades of green. Now apply that to the link.

      • Pope Jimbo

        In the Marines it was a way to say “white” and “black” without any accusations of racism. We were all Marines and “green”. Just different shades of green.

        So you’d end up saying shit, like “go over to supply. There’s a light green corporal who will hook you up”.

        I thought it worked pretty well.

    • Count Potato

      It’s an obvious fake.

      • Sean

        Buzz kill. ?

      • Pope Jimbo

        Everyone else gets to believe in fake news, why can’t we? C’mon man, it fits our narrative!

  14. The Late P Brooks

    It’s a bright, sunny day here in the People’s Republic. Yesterday it got up to 83 degrees. I do love me some global warming.

    It snowed here last night.

  15. Pope Jimbo

    Maybe the “dark winter” that the public health folks have been warning about actually means that the “crisis” is over and that the power mad no longer can cling to power?

    I know Osterholm will be devastated when they send him packing back to his tiny office in Duluth.

    • Festus

      He’s got sooo much fuel for the spank-bank I’m sure he’ll be alright.

  16. Rat on a train

    Spotsylvania is renaming Robert E Lee Elementary school. The finalists are Harmony, Spotsylvania and Unity. I prefer Spotsylvania, but the alternatives could have been worse.

    • Festus

      There wasn’t a dead Native American language name to choose from? Son. I am disappoint. They did that up here and the outrage from both sides was predictably over the the top and stupid. No worries, they just renamed the school with both. Of course the rank and file will continue to use the old name and every media outlet will use the hyphenated one. Rednecks abide.

      • Rat on a train

        Maybe they can use that for renaming Jefferson Davis Highway. The county has until the end of the year to rename it or the state will rename it to Emancipation Highway. I haven’t heard any options. NoVA seems to have a consensus on using Richmond Highway. I could get behind Fuck Richmond Highway.

      • R C Dean

        Defferson Javis Highway?

      • Rat on a train

        Jefferson Darcy Highway?

      • Gdragon

        I would prefer the Steve Rhoades Highway but that is an acceptable compromise.

    • Agent Cooper

      No Sloppy Whore Elementary School? C’mon, let’s get nuts.

  17. Rebel Scum

    Patrons immediately began chanting “get out,” with the calls growing in intensity as they linger. Several customers began recording the incident on their phones, as well. When the inspectors left, cheers and whistles emanated from the patrons inside.

    The restaurant indicated that they would reopen on Tuesday at 4 p.m. after they were forced to close for selling out of food, CBC reported.

    We need more of this.

  18. Tundra

    Andrew Branca from LI is providing excellent coverage of the Chauvin pre-riot trial.

    Day 6 wrap up.

    • Ownbestenemy

      “to riot, loot, and arson (arson must be a verb by now, right?)” Just start bringing back the proper usage of the word/phrase “go viking”. Though, even in their worst, the Norse had at least reason to do so unlike these jackals.

  19. Fatty Bolger

    Just heard a commercial on the radio on how to keep from getting one of those “new strains” of covid. Step one, wear a mask…

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Was it folksy and real neighborly sounding?

      Because those really make me want to shoot my radio.

      • Fatty Bolger

        LMAO, yes it was, some folksy feller practically doing a Sam Elliott impersonation. Those truly piss me off, fucking condescending motherfuckers.

      • db

        Yeah, I heard one of those one day when I forgot my phone to bluetooth to the car radio and had to listen to an actual radio station.

        What a load of condescending crap. I can’t believe there are people in this country/world that those sorts of public service messages affect in a positive way.

        What kind of person hears that shit and thinks “Oh, that’s completely reasonable, and that’s an appropriate and normal way to talk, so I am better prepared to listen to the message?”

      • Pope Jimbo

        Truth.com PSA’s about vaping and smoking really make me want to light up (what is vape equivalent?) after watching just out of spite.

      • l0b0t

        HA!

        If you vape, you could be inhaling metal into your lungs. To show how scary that is, we made a metal monster!”

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      I mimic your avatar when I hear those.

      • Fatty Bolger

        I sometimes parody them in the same country voice. “Step one, wear a mask. Better yet, wear two. Heck, wear ten masks if you can get that many on your face. Ten masks is better than one, that’s just common sense.”

      • db

        “If a man comes at ya’ with no masks on, y’all just give’m both barrels in the air over his head to scare ‘im off.”

      • Fatty Bolger

        lol perfect

    • Agent Cooper

      My wife about lost it when the Bidens made their pre-NCAA Bball Championship plea.

    • Tejicano

      Were I back in the US now I would be tempted to make a t-shirt with the following ; “Mask up! It’s what plants crave!”

      I wonder how many people would get it

  20. Rebel Scum

    CEOs condemn Georgia voter ID law, while their own companies require valid photo ID

    And we are pretending that anything in the law that serves as an attempt at having election integrity is new.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Also amusing that they are moving the All Star game to CO which also has voter ID and even less early voting than FL.

    • Agent Cooper

      In some ways, these are bad analogies (as was Rand’s MLB tickets and will call tweet) because voting is considered a right and well, all of the other stuff is really not.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Is voting a right though?

        *runs out of room quickly*

      • Ownbestenemy

        If they would have properly ruled it under the 9th and 10th Amendment as a right held by the State and People

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I vote for no on that question.

        Seriously though, it’s a privilege, albeit a very fundamental one in a constitutional Republic.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        No

        I have no natural right to exercise political power over another person.

        It’s an agreement among citizens to delegate the authority to initiate force to a third party.

      • Surly Knott

        ^^^THIS

      • Agent Cooper

        That’s a good question …

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Spotsylvania is renaming Robert E Lee Elementary school. The finalists are Harmony, Spotsylvania and Unity. I prefer Spotsylvania, but the alternatives could have been worse.

    Fearless Leader Youth Indoctrination Center

  22. Pope Jimbo

    Brett is totes doxed after his latest run in with the police. Who is going to feed that kid?

    JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Authorities in Florida say a man who did not have a valid medical license drank Four Lokos while giving Botox injections at a Jacksonville spa.

    According to ActionNewsJax and WOKV, the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office arrested Nelson Amilcar Turin, 47, on March 12 after an undercover detective saw him drinking alcoholic beverages at a legitimate spa on San Jose Boulevard. He now faces multiple charges, including three counts of possessing legend drugs and one count of practicing medicine without a license, the news outlets reported.

    An undercover bust to bring down someone injecting botox. Nice.

    • Muzzled Woodchipper

      That’s not Brett.

      There was no Blue Curaçao involved.

    • Festus

      Sounds sciencey. You’re shit’s all fucked up and you talk like a fag.

      • AlexinCT

        ^^^THIS^^^

  23. Festus

    That was inspired musical selection, Banjos. Thanks for that.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Were? Still are, even the soy boys.

  24. Pope Jimbo

    Another sad story of Chinese knockoffs

    Visitors to a zoo in southwestern China were left shocked and confused when they saw a golden retriever in a cage intended to accommodate an African lion.
    In a video clip that circulated widely on social media this week, a man only identified by his surname Tang, took his child to visit Yuanjiashan Zoo in Xichang, Sichuan, on Saturday but was startled when they found a golden retriever in the African lion enclosure, despite signage introducing the animal as a feline.

    It’s not the first time a mainland zoo has tried to substitute animals with other species at their facilities.
    Earlier this month, Xiangwushan Zoo of Xianning, Hubei, was exposed for putting a Rottweiler in a wolf’s cage. The zoo’s management said a wolf had lived there before it died because of old age, the Liaoshen Evening News reported.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      And people wonder whether they’re willing to sell fake pharmaceuticals.

    • db

      It’s easy in China to call out the little lies. The big ones, not so much.

    • pistoffnick

      punchline to an old dad joke: It was a shih tzu

      • AlexinCT

        This.

    • Jarflax

      Well they have been calling their dog of an economy a tiger for decades.

  25. Rebel Scum

    In Soviet Russia ring lords you.

    After 30 years, a TV adaptation of J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings long thought lost has resurfaced. The 1991 Soviet television adaptation has been uploaded to YouTube in two one-hour videos.

    The film focuses on the events of the first book in the trilogy, The Fellowship of the Ring, and features many elements that were excluded from the popular global theatrical release by director Peter Jackson, including an extended sequence featuring the character Tom Bombadil—one of the biggest omissions by the bigger-budget 2001 film far more of us have seen.

    Originally broadcast on TV in 1991 (and then never aired again), the film was thought lost to time by those who had seen it. But as reported in The Guardian, Leningrad Television successor Channel 5 uploaded the film to its YouTube page with little fanfare, surprising fans who had given up on seeing the production again. It is believed to be the only adaptation of these books produced in the Soviet Union.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Well they at least included arguably the best character…so the Russians beat us at that.

      • UnCivilServant

        You could argue that, and still be wrong.

        The editor should have chopped tom from the original run.

        You don’t notice how much you mentally edit out of the text until you’re forced to listen to it all in an unabridged audiobook.

        Tolkien was an expert on worldbuilding, but someone should have applied the red pen more.

      • l0b0t

        I would have been less unhappy with the choice to excise Bombadil (although, without him, the Hobbits never get their Elven swords) had they not shoehorned in a romance and a FUCKING CAR CHASE.

    • Pope Jimbo

      I’m tired of Tolkien movies.

      At first, they were pretty good, but they got tiresome. Worse, I couldn’t just ignore them. They became a bad hobbit.

      • Rebel Scum

        It’d be nice if they were shorter. I recall the last one taking an hour just to end.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        You’re terrible, Muriel.

      • Pope Jimbo

        I just gollum as I see em

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        ?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I ent interested in them anymore either.

      • db

        Pretty much moot at this point.

      • Swiss Servator

        Yeah, once they couldn’t make it here, they retreated to CA. You really have to order a large amount to make it cost effective.

      • Gustave Lytton

        …so just need to drink more tea?… 😉

      • The Gunslinger

        It’s Swissy. Run, you fools!

      • Ownbestenemy

        This is going to be a Mordorious thread.

      • db

        You have to get up at the crack of doom to get in any good puns around here.

      • Pope Jimbo

        The Moria know…

      • Ownbestenemy

        Eventually you all will be carrying on by your elves

      • Aloysious

        The Bearded Hobbit haz a sad.

  26. The Late P Brooks

    Quack quack quack

    “Don’t spike the ball on the 5-yard line. Wait until you get into the end zone. We are not in the end zone yet,” he said, adding that prematurely pulling away from public health measures could prolong the pandemic.

    Desperately clinging to the reins.

    “Listen to me. I’m in charge here.”

    • Ownbestenemy

      He should be happy. I think this is the longest attention span I have seen in my adult life of Americans.

  27. Gustave Lytton

    Wife: “have you ever seen bin ryan’s express?”

    Typo aside, that has the makings of a perfect remake. Except Hollywood can’t make movies for shit anymore.

      • Agent Cooper

        “Smalls authored state legislation providing for South Carolina to have the first free and compulsory public school system in the United States”

        Problematic.

      • db

        “You’re killing me, Smalls.”

      • Gustave Lytton

        Yeah, I saw that too. Not a perfect human. I can see where he was coming from in a desire to improve the lot of newly freed slaves in the face of intense pressure for things to remain de facto if not de jure.

      • db

        Yes, in a time where it had recently been prohibited by law to teach slaves to read, or really provide them any education at all, mandatory schooling might have looked like a great idea to level people up and reduce discrimination. However, as we all know, there’s no government solution that can’t be twisted to benefit one group at the expense of all others. The faith that the government could protect and nurture a nascent awakening of freedmen might have seemed reasonable at the time, but seems woefully ignorant now.

        But of course, our society tragically persists in imagining that these sorts of schemes can still work as advertised.

      • R C Dean

        I struggle with this. Anything can go off the rails over a long enough time frame. I’m leaning toward every generation has to take care of itself. If you can do something that is an improvement over, say, 30 years, then that’s about all anyone can really expect. If subsequent generations pervert it or corrupt it, or fail to get rid of it when it becomes a net negative, that’s on them.

        The alternative is paralysis. If you don’t do anything that could eventually go bad, you don’t do anything.

        I’m overstating, but even as someone who is pretty damn risk averse, I am getting sick of the excessive risk aversion that seems to have too many in its grasp.

      • Agent Cooper

        My comment was meant to be light-hearted. The guy was a boss.

      • db

        Understood. He was a hero, for sure.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      “Who’s buying the keg?”

      “Don’t need to. Johan is coming.”

    • Rat on a train

      Diabetic with a yeast infection?

      • Nephilium

        Yep, infection was in the bladder.

    • The Other Kevin

      If you can charge a fortune for coffee beans that come from a monkey’s poop, you can make money from this.

      • Nephilium

        There was Rogue’s Beard Beer (fermented with yeast cultured from a brewer’s beard), and several places have launched crowd funders/made press announcements about using “natural” yeasts harvested from women to make a beer (but I don’t believe any of them ever were released to market).

  28. Lazer

    GET OUT! GET OUT!

    There is always hope! Looks like the normals are finally figuring out what most thinking people have known since April 2020.

    I will stay optimistic and continue to enjoy my life as best as possible, while keeping my eyes open and fighting this and all the other bullshit as best as I can. I might be just one little person without much influence, but I’ll keep up the good fight no matter the consequences!

    Banjo’s, you too have a wonderful day! And you other reprobates also!

  29. Rebel Scum

    Make late-night funny again?

    Fox News recently purchased a billboard on Hollywood Boulevard and local spots during Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon, Stephen Colbert and other late-night shows to promote its new nightly entrant, Greg Gutfeld, with the line, “Cancel culture just got canceled.”

    As much as the news channel might be presenting the show as an alternative from the right, Gutfeld’s biggest challenge is the same one that all of the other shows face: being funny, night after night.

    As many have noted, Fox News’ programming of Gutfeld! — as the April 5-premiering show is called — is another example of how the network has been expanding its nighttime doses of opinion, in the post-Donald Trump presidency. Fox Corp. CEO Lachlan Murdoch suggested last month that the job of the network during Joe Biden’s presidency would be to act as the loyal opposition, while outlets like Newsmax have made a run for the disaffected Trump voter.

    • Sean

      I like Gutfeld, but I’m not watching Fox News channel.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      I like him (+ Kat ?!) but I don’t know about mainstream opinion.

      • Festus

        He’s much funnier through the written word. His on screen delivery seems forced and awkward. I don’t imagine he did much improv training in his younger days.

  30. The Late P Brooks

    Ewwwwww

    Where to buy Jill Biden’s head-turning fishnet stockings

    *retch*

    • Ownbestenemy

      Usually when we see someone that age here in Vegas dressed like that its a known that they are a washed up hooker still pulling in Johns Joes

    • Pope Jimbo

      So now we are all supposed to clap like seals at how attractive Dr. Jill is?

      After 4 years of an actual super model First Lady being unpersoned? I’d rather see Melania in granny panties than Jill in … well anything.

    • Swiss Servator

      You probably do want to turn your head to puke.

      • The Other Kevin

        I bet you watched Benny Hill as a kid, too. My first thought was, they never told you which direction it turned your head.
        Another good one:
        “Men like me don’t grow on trees you know.”
        “No they swing from them!”

      • Festus

        #gilfhunters Unite!

  31. The Late P Brooks

    Doctor Jill is dreamy and sophisticated. Not like that trashy whore Melania.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Who could probably conjugate poder correctly.

  32. Pope Jimbo

    Will they also be creating Karens and police goons to make sure you don’t go out in “public”?

    The project began last spring, toward the start of the coronavirus lockdown, after well-known gamer and Seattle Youtuber PippenFTS started a website to facilitate the building of a life-size recreation of Earth in Minecraft on a 1:1 scale. He released modifications for the game that would allow users to construct at heights higher than normally permitted in the game.

    Build teams representing different states and countries started to form. New Jersey’s team is the second-largest out of the 90 that have been created, with members communicating and strategizing on a Discord server. More scenes from what they’ve been created can be seen online.

    • The Other Kevin

      The Matrix, beta version.

  33. Rebel Scum

    We must never forget the Old Normal

    We have now spent over a year in lockdown limbo. Vaccines were supposed to release us by ‘early spring’. Matt Hancock promised that after the vulnerable had been vaccinated, the government would ‘cry freedom’. Well, it’s early spring, and the vulnerable have more or less all been vaccinated. But Chris Whitty has been back on the airwaves to tell us that there will ‘definitely’ be a third wave of infections. Meanwhile, the head of Public Health England thinks nothing of saying that we will be wearing masks and obeying social distancing rules for ‘years’ – and might as well since, according to her, we have all grown used to it anyway.

    Normal life – the pub, the real pub, where you did not have to wear a mask or produce a certificate to get in; meeting friends for a casual coffee; going to work; going to an art gallery or a football match – already seems like a dimly remembered dream. What will be left of those memories if all this really does go on indefinitely? Particularly if there is an ‘escape variant’ that evades vaccination – or if another pandemic comes along?

    The Czech author Milan Kundera begins one of his novels with the observation that ‘The struggle of man against power is the struggle of memory against forgetting’. He wrote this specifically about a tactic of leaders behind the Iron Curtain: ‘airbrushing’ inconvenient people from photographs so as to cleanse them from public record. More generally, he was making the point that ideologies – all ideologies – rely on the obliteration of history. An ideology simplifies all of the complexity of the world to a few trite principles. Because history is messy and complicated and almost never conforms to this kind of exercise in reduction, the solution is to forget history altogether. This is why so many ideologies have a ‘Year Zero’ component in their makeup. They are about ripping things up and starting afresh on a blank slate.

    Lockdownism, the ideology that now dominates public life, is no different. One of its central elements is forgetting the past, including the very recent past. Before 2020, nobody spoke about ‘lockdown’, ‘social distancing’, ‘the R-rate’, ‘self-isolation’ and so on. Yet we now talk about these concepts as though they have existed for decades – almost as though they are immutable facts about how we have always dealt with infectious disease, rather than a series of ideas dreamed up on the spur of the moment and imposed in a panic. We are encouraged to forget that things used to be different and that we used to live our lives freely, accepting that there were nasty diseases out there that might kill you if you did, but this was a risk worth taking because the alternative was worse.

    • Agent Cooper

      “Matt Hancock promised that after the vulnerable had been vaccinated, the government would ‘cry freedom’. ”

      Matt Hancock doesn’t government, bro.

    • Hyperion

      That ‘Old Normal’ stuff is like, soooo 2020. We can’t get a Great Reset with the old normal. Time to move forward! Onward comrades! ! We’re all in this together!

      How do I get off this bus?

  34. Pope Jimbo

    There can be only ONE true pizza!!!!!

    According to an Aug. 11, 2017, tweet shared by Curators of Sweden, a social media campaign initiated by the Swedish Institute and VisitSweden, the pineapple-banana-curry topping trifecta made up the “most Swedish pizza there is.”

    I know you guys think that growing up with Norwegians biased me against Swedes, but now I think you will have to admit that the Swedes really are the worst.

    • Rat on a train

      When I think of Sweden, I think pineapples, bananas, curry, … sun, surfing …

      • db

        “Everybody’s surfin’ now, even Sven’s learning how!”

    • banginglc1

      The Swedes, making deep dish look like pizza.

  35. Sean

    Hey Pie, what was the deal with your smokeless fire yesterday? Ever find out?

  36. Rebel Scum

    Women and elderly hardest hit.

    “On the infrastructure question, let me say that some Republicans — who have been vocal — think investing in water systems and replacing pipes so Americans can have clean drinking water is not infrastructure, but the President does,” White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki said during the daily briefing Monday afternoon. “Some don’t think that building a support system to take care of elderly parents or kids with disabilities at home so people can go back into the workforce — some of those 2 million women who have left the workforce during the pandemic — some think that that is not investing in the infrastructure — our workforce of this country that are the backbone of this country; the President disagrees.”

    Maybe you cuntes should just get out of the way.

    • Ownbestenemy

      “our workforce of this country that are the backbone tax cattle of this country”

    • Pope Jimbo

      I’m sorry, but taking care of your own kids and parents is not the government’s job. Even if they are special needs.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Also, why is it so important to get people away from raising their own kids or taking care of their parents and back into a work force?

        I didn’t realize my wife and I were so subversive when we decided that she would stay home and take care of the kids instead of plunking them into child care so she could work and pay taxes.

    • Nephilium

      If they do this, will we stop hearing about how the Republicans are trying to kill the kids in Flint, MI?

  37. The Other Kevin

    You can already see the narrative working its magic on Gaetz. It’s already been decided he is a crazy conspiracy theorist.

    • Ownbestenemy

      You can see the tale of two crazies and how the media treats each according to their political leanings: Gaetz vs. Hunter.

      • The Other Kevin

        Correct. Somehow a guy who makes millions off his dad’s name alone and spends it on crack and women, and has at least one kid he refuses to acknowledge, is a sympathetic character.

      • db

        Kardashians 2.0?

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        HB on Marc Maron podcast: Mark as Played ✔️

      • Pope Jimbo

        The fact that Joe Biden won’t even acknowledge his grandkid shows you what a rotten person he is.

        You might not be thrilled about what a train wreck your kid is, but there is a kid out there who you are related to. I’m not saying you need to embrace them and include them in the Christmas card, but you should at least take care of them and maybe meet them.

        If you want me to believe that it is OK to cut garbage people out of the family, better start with Hunter. Stop getting him out of jams.

      • Ownbestenemy

        The bastard grandson of the throne shall never sit in power.

      • Plinker762

        Ma Ma, where’s my Pa?

      • db

        Smokin’ crack in the Rose Garden, ha, ha, ha!

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Wish my copy of The Swamp hadn’t died with my old DVR*. I don’t see it on HBO right now. Massie was the star of that anyway.

      *Don’t leave yours unplugged for more than a few days, kids.

  38. The Late P Brooks

    Smoke and mirrors

    “The international tax system should focus on rewarding companies that invest in the US and its workers, stop incentivizing corporations to shift jobs and investment abroad, and ensure that big corporations are paying their fair share,” the nine-page framework says.

    “Not only would these reforms make our international tax system better, they can raise revenue necessary to invest in America.”

    The plan comes as Democrats lean into tax increases on big corporations to generate the revenue to pay for their infrastructure plan.

    Biden kicked off the debate last week, with a proposal to raise corporate taxes to offset the cost of his infrastructure plan. Congress will have plenty of changes to the plan, with the House’s top tax writer suggesting last week that he will offer alternative proposals.

    It’s also possible that lawmakers will ultimately end up dumping some or all of the tax increases, and tack the cost of their spending package onto the deficit.

    We just want what’s fair. Now give us all your money.

    • Hyperion

      “alternative proposals”

      All of which have a main feature of ‘Now give us all your money’.

  39. Rebel Scum

    Unity, healing, etc.

    Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer announced Monday night that current Senate rules on reconciliation will allow Democrats to pass President Joe Biden’s $2.5 trillion infrastructure spending package without Republican support. In other words, Republicans can’t successfully filibuster the bill and Democrats only need 51 votes to get it passed.

    “The Parliamentarian has advised that a revised budget resolution may contain budget reconciliation instructions. This confirms the Leader’s interpretation of the Budget Act and allows Democrats additional tools to improve the lives of Americans if Republican obstruction continues. While no decisions have been made on a legislative path forward using Section 304 and some parameters still need to be worked out, the Parliamentarian’s opinion is an important step forward that this key pathway is available to Democrats if needed,” a spokesman for Schumer released Monday.

    ‘Member what happened the last time you cuntes rammed through legislation without* opposition support?

    *Not that it mattered in the long run…

    • Hyperion

      “‘Member what happened the last time you cuntes rammed through legislation without* opposition support?”

      Meh. That was before rigged voting machines and paper ballots gone wild, and drop boxes.

    • Agent Cooper

      Nothing? I mean, when you really think about it.

  40. Hyperion

    “NY trying to make even more residents flee.”

    Yes. Coming to a town near you. Fleeing the big shithole to vote and make your town a little shithole. There will be millions of mini-DeBlasios and mini-AOCs spread out all over the country.

    I saw an image of the Acropolis this morning. And that’s when I realized that the Greeks have not gotten woke yet. Otherwise, they’d be up there tearing down the Parthenon and looking for statues of Aristotle and Plato to topple. I guess it’s just a mater of time…

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The replies are disappointing.

      As if there’s a huge amount of money to be made distributing vaccines right now.

      • AlexinCT

        There is shame to be peddled if you are not denying the vaccine to honkeys and only helping minorities and the oppressed!

        /sjw asshat

    • Rat on a train

      As long as it what their viewers want, how is it trouble?

      • rhywun

        Is it? Who the hell watches 60 Minutes any more?

      • Agent Cooper

        It’s the most-viewed show on Sunday nights. Sad!

      • Agent Cooper

        I submit the viewers don’t really know what they want.

      • Rat on a train

        Two minutes of hate?

  41. Hyperion

    “Patrons at a British Columbia restaurant shouted out a pair of health inspectors Saturday who reportedly attempted to shut down the restaurant for violating the province’s health guidelines.

    The incident happened on Saturday after two health inspectors arrived at the Corduroy restaurant in Vancouver”

    Sounds like white supremacy to me.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Rubs you the wrong way, does it?

      • Hyperion

        Downright chafed with all that white supremacy.

      • Festus

        *crickets*

      • Hyperion

        You’re no fun. Poopy head!

  42. wdalasio

    Some don’t think that building a support system to take care of elderly parents or kids with disabilities….is not investing in the infrastructure,

    Yeah, I’m one of those some. Because it’s not investing in infrastructure you braindead bint! Words have specific meanings. And the definition of infrastructure employed since time immemorial has been a capital investment in specific assets to provide an underlying service necessary for activity. This isn’t even a damned capital spend. It’s the incurring of an ongoing expense that isn’t specifically required for any other activity. Even if I thought this crap was worthwhile (I don’t), I’d consider this statement insanely stupid. The fact that the press corps just nods their head in braindead agreement shows just how moronic or, worse, complicit, they are in this sham.

  43. DEG

    Patrons at a British Columbia restaurant shouted out a pair of health inspectors Saturday who reportedly attempted to shut down the restaurant for violating the province’s health guidelines.

    The incident happened on Saturday after two health inspectors arrived at the Corduroy restaurant in Vancouver to serve a closure notice for serving patrons indoors against COVID-19 guidelines, CBC reported on Sunday.

    Kudos to those patrons.

    • db

      This is what it will take. The business owners are limited in what they can do because their livelihoods depend on maintaining their licenses from the state, and they are liable for non compliance. The patrons need to stand up and defend against the state regulators, because the stakes are much lower for them.

      Of course, the patrons could be subject to charges of obstructing a law enforcement officer, but it’s a fine line for the enforcement and prosecutors to walk–they can’t arrest everyone, and normal folks being rounded up for protesting the state shutting down their favorite watering hole is not a good look for the state on the evening news.

      • Festus

        I’d be tempted to shout out above the fray “Hey Mother! Want another?” but that’s just me. Fine looking woman.

  44. The Late P Brooks

    Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer announced Monday night that current Senate rules on reconciliation will allow Democrats to pass President Joe Biden’s $2.5 trillion infrastructure spending package without Republican support. In other words, Republicans can’t successfully filibuster the bill and Democrats only need 51 votes to get it passed.

    DEMOCRACY! motherfucker.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Got to loot the system before it goes bankrupt.

      I expect it to get even more blatant from here on out as everyone starts to recognize this can’t go on forever and decides to get theirs while they still can.

      • EvilSheldon

        Yes, we’ve gone from, ‘Give the patient a few more comfortable years,’ to ‘Start harvesting the remaining transplantable organs.’

      • Hyperion

        Of course it can go on for a very long time. It just needs to be funded.

        When everyone figures out that anyone paying taxes at all are going to get a tax hike, they’ll be shocked. How long have they been telling these lies and people haven’t figured it out yet? We get the government we deserve. Good and hard.

    • Rat on a train

      Unity, motherfucker!

  45. The Late P Brooks

    And the definition of infrastructure employed since time immemorial has been a capital investment in specific assets to provide an underlying service necessary for activity.

    Also, when they recite the magical incantation “infrastructure” they intentionally conflate the enormous marginal gains to the economy of replacing (almost) nothing with something new and vastly superior.

    The building of the interstate highway system had a huge impact on our ability to move people and freight around the country. However much those roads and bridges need to be maintained, the gains from doing so will never approach what was realized from building them in the first place.

    Same with just about everything else they want to do.

    New high speed internet everywhere, so people have better access to twatter and facebook? I don’t really see that as being a major boost for the economy.

    • db

      But people need free access to the internet because it’s impossible to pay your bills, or apply for a driver’s license, or apply for a job, or anything else in today’s online world.

      • The Other Kevin

        I would like to see the comparison of people who can’t get an ID yet still have a smart phone.

      • Hyperion

        Not to mention the most important thing of all. You can’t get on social media and get a proper edumencation in wokeness.

      • Festus

        Or masturbate.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Why is Joe pushing this anyway, he said it themselves, those brown and black folks don’t know how to use the white man technology.

    • PieInTheSky

      what matters is that he did right by his brothers widow

      • db

        And her sister! What a stand up guy.

      • db

        This administration really looks like America.

      • Ownbestenemy

        At least according to PronHub

    • The Other Kevin

      As I said earlier, somehow this makes you a charming and sympathetic character if you’re from the correct political party.

    • rhywun

      We are living in the best time when Hunter can drop that hilarious turd of a book and nobody in the TMITE will call him out on any of the whoppers in it.

      • Sean

        We are living in the best time

        I think you and I use different metrics…

    • Agent Cooper

      “A little boy out there is really the grandson of the president of the United States, and he likely has no idea.”

      This sounds like the beginning of a David Foster Wallace book.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I imagine there’s been a few of those over the centuries.

      • Festus

        Charles Dickens, but I digress.

      • R C Dean

        I thought the Presidential grandchild was a girl.

        Stripper Mom has either been massively threatened, paid off, or both to disappear the way she has.

  46. Hyperion

    “GILA BEND, Arizona — Tim Micklin sells thick woolen blankets and large specialty flags out of the back of a white van in Gila Bend.”

    Any Candy in that van? Anyone seen OMWC around the border lately? Lots of little Messican girls round there lately I hear…

    • R C Dean

      Lots of little Messican girls round there lately I hear

      Oprhans, even.

  47. The Late P Brooks

    “A little boy out there is really the grandson of the president of the United States, and he likely has no idea.”

    Something something flee under cover of darkness.

  48. The Late P Brooks

    “GILA BEND, Arizona — Tim Micklin sells thick woolen blankets and large specialty flags out of the back of a white van in Gila Bend.”

    No sexy big-bosomed Aztec princess riding an enormous black jaguar on velvet?

    I am disappoint.

    • Hyperion

      More likely a squat little muffin top lady with a face like a mule coming across that border. Hoards of them.

  49. Hyperion

    “These people don’t give a shit about logic, it’s all about power.”

    Logic is just another form of white supremacy.

  50. The Late P Brooks

    We are living in the best time when Hunter can drop that hilarious turd of a book and nobody in the TMITE will call him out on any of the whoppers in it.

    Who will play Hunter in the big screen adaptation? Is Brad Pitt available?

    • Hyperion

      They could get DiCaprio. He plays a good retard in that Gilbert Grape film.

    • Festus

      Reanimated Jimmy Stewart, of course.

    • Ownbestenemy

      *rubs head* Son’t GF is a walking drama movie and he is in class, she is trying to get my son to allow her to come over (don’t know why she isn’t in school), while it is just me here and there is no way that is going to happen. So now I have a pissed off teenager of a son whining that I don’t care about her. Time to fake a work call and have to go in so I don’t have to deal with this shit.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Eh…works here too I guess

      • The Other Kevin

        Sounds all too familiar. “Dad, I never see my boyfriend, can you drive me there on your only day off?”

      • Ownbestenemy

        I don’t mind shuttling them around, I mind having a 16 year dramafest here alone with me after she was ‘kicked out’ of the house. No fucking way I fall for that porno trap.

      • db

        Yeah. Do not be alone with her, ever.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Shuttling your kids around is a great way to learn more about them, especially if friends are along. They always slip up, and let something the parents aren’t supposed to know about out. I’d just be quiet and let them talk, before you know it they forget you’re even there.

      • The Other Kevin

        I do use this quite a bit. Mrs. TOK hasn’t figured out this trick yet.

      • R C Dean

        So now I have a pissed off teenager of a son whining that I don’t care about her.

        “No. No, I don’t care about her. She is trouble on wheels, and if you think I am going to allow her into my house you are dead wrong. If you don’t understand why, I suggest you think real hard about it. With your big head, not your little head.”

      • Mojeaux

        ^^^That.

        Add:

        “I don’t have to explain myself to you.”

  51. Hyperion

    CANCEL CULTURE!

    “He posted an Instagram video Friday night that showed him playing poker and smoking with scantily clad dancers performing in the background.”

    Don’t call them the New Puritans. That’s totally now what they are.

  52. Festus

    Gah checking out for now Friends, do try to keep the shiny side up today. I know I will.

    • Ownbestenemy

      G’night Festus

  53. The Late P Brooks

    Keep fear alive

    The good news, Osterholm said, is that existing vaccines are very effective against the variants. The bad news is that the US may not be able to administer them fast enough to avoid another surge.

    “We are not going to have enough vaccines, the way we are going, into the arms of enough Americans over the course of the next six to 10 weeks with this surge that we are going to stop it,” Osterholm told CNN’s Erin Burnett. “It’s just simply not going to happen.”

    Keep the rubes guessing. Keep ’em scared and off balance. They’ll beg you to save them. They’ll call you Daddy.

    • Ownbestenemy

      I thought we had 5000000 billion vaccines?

    • The Other Kevin

      You know how people get all excited and breathless (including reporters authority type people) when there’s a hurricane coming? It’s like that. We’ve had a year of disaster porn, and it’s not going to be easy to kick that addiction.

      • Ownbestenemy

        At this point its like the weather channel reporter that was ‘bracing’ for winds, in the wrong directions, with people casually walking behind him. That is what the news is to me.

      • kinnath

        My favorite was a weather reporter in a canoe when a couple of guys walked by in the shin-deep water.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Yep. Linked it above, along with another one from a different reporter.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Yeah Fatty’s clip is another great one. That is the whole basis of the discussion up board. They can lie straight to people’s faces and the people will still say they are ‘trusted’ news sources.

      • db

        Hey, Kinnath, I know others have asked you but I can’t find the thread anymore, what was the dose of quinine you and your wife used?

      • db

        Thanks!

      • Mojeaux

        But also be careful with zinc. People lose their sense of smell with too much of it.

      • kinnath

        The recommended dose is one per day on the ZInc.

        We have been doing 2 per day since last summer.

        We doubled that when the positive covid test happened.

        Back down to 2 per day now.

        Will probably go down to one per day once we are both vaccinated.

      • The Other Kevin

        I can understand why. They live for that sort of thing. Nobody goes into reporting because they want to cover the city zoning meeting. They want to cover something with a body count.

  54. Rebel Scum

    Workplace violence?

    During a mid-morning press conference, Frederick Police Chief Jason Lando explained that the shooting began “in the Riverside Tech Park in the city of Frederick.” He said officers responded to the scene to find two males had been shot and were in critical condition.

    Shortly thereafter, police learned that the suspected gunman, a 38-year-old male, “traveled to the Fort Detrick military base” and was shot by “personnel on the base.”

    Lando stressed that the public is not at risk and “there is no further cause for alarm in the Frederick community.”

    • EvilSheldon

      Fort Detrick is generally not someplace that you want to fuck around.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Or around any military installation…its just gun store, gun store, liquor store, porno shop, used car lot….

  55. The Late P Brooks

    SCIENCE-tistic fearmongering

    The impending rollout of vaccines to children will be important for protecting kids from needless suffering, and pediatric vaccination will save lives in other age groups as well. In many places, adults are delaying vaccination, and surveys show that one-fifth are outright refusing it. If large numbers of people continue in the latter mindset, vaccinating children will be central to any hope of reaching herd immunity.

    In Hagood’s county, vaccination rates are well below the national average. “Some people still don’t believe the pandemic is real, even after they’ve had COVID,” she said. Her son told her he wants to get vaccinated so he doesn’t transmit the virus to anyone. “If our pediatrician says it’s safe,” Hagood told me, “I’ll do it.”

    Based on what’s been observed in adults, pediatricians already know that, in principle, the COVID-19 vaccines will be safe for children. Pediatric immune systems are different from adults’, but they share enough commonalities to expect similar outcomes. The lingering question is what dosage is ideal for which age groups, in order to elicit the most protective immune response with the fewest side effects. At this point, the clinical trials won’t need to wait to count the number of children who do or don’t contract the virus after vaccination. “You can connect the immune responses that you observe in children and the protective effects you see in adults,” Spearman told me. “If these immune responses protect adults, then they would very likely protect children too.”

    ——-

    Still, perhaps the leading reason for doubt among parents is a misunderstanding of the risks this virus poses to children. A kid’s chances of dying from COVID-19 are indeed much lower than an adult’s: Out of the known death toll of more than half a million Americans, children account for just a few hundred, or 0.05 percent. But pediatric deaths should not be seen in relative terms. In absolute, concrete terms, hundreds of children have died of a preventable disease, and thousands have become seriously ill. It’s difficult to know the exact number of children who have been hospitalized because of COVID-19, but some 14,000 have been counted across just the 24 states that publicly release those numbers. The total for the U.S. would be far higher. More than 3,000 have developed a serious complication known as multisystem inflammatory syndrome in children, or MIS-C, in the weeks after having had COVID-19. “The numbers of kids who’ve been hospitalized and died is significant and concerning,” Spearman said.

    NOT

    ONE

    CHILD!

    For some reason, I thought the Atlantic-ers might return to some semblance of rationality (these things are relative) after the election.

    Nope.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Clicking through that…states define children from 0-19 (17 in some cases). So….give me proper data if you are going to fuck me in the ass.

  56. The Late P Brooks

    It may be getting worse as the virus evolves and the disease changes. A January study found that the rate of hospitalization among people under 19 had increased more than eightfold over the course of the pandemic. The risk to teenagers and children remains significant, according to Jill Foster, a professor and pediatric-infectious-disease specialist at the University of Minnesota Medical School, and “we’re finding that teenagers are transmitting the virus at rates similar to adults.” Younger children don’t seem to transmit as well, possibly because their smaller lungs and airways spew smaller quantities of viral particles shorter distances. But Foster is concerned that many people don’t appreciate that children getting sick can be quite a terrible experience, even if relatively few end up requiring hospitalization or dying.

    Could this increase in hospitalizations be in any way related to the nonstop fearmongering about the plague? What a silly question.

    SCIENCE is best practiced through naked panicky appeals to fear and emotion. Everybody knows that.

    • R C Dean

      the rate of hospitalization among people under 19 had increased more than eightfold over the course of the pandemic

      The rate of hospitalization always increases over the course of a pandemic. Infectious diseases are infectious, yo.

  57. R C Dean

    In absolute, concrete terms, hundreds of children have died of a preventable disease, and thousands have become seriously ill.

    No, they haven’t. They have died of COVID, which is not preventable. As the last year should have demonstrated to even the dimmest, as we took the most extraordinary measures in history and the death toll, according to those requiring these measures, was still more than half a million.

    Oh, and “hundreds of children have died”? Now do the net increase in child suicides, and tell me again how much you care about the children.

  58. The Late P Brooks

    Now do the net increase in child suicides, and tell me again how much you care about the children.

    How many children have died, or suffered needlessly through inability to receive care for preventable curable injuries and illnesses?

  59. wdalasio

    Also, when they recite the magical incantation “infrastructure” they intentionally conflate the enormous marginal gains to the economy of replacing (almost) nothing with something new and vastly superior.

    You’re right, of course. But, that’s not even what bothers me. Even though a lot of the infrastructure arguments are just wrong, there’s at least some basis to discuss them. Sure, I can disagree with a progressive about the relative economic merits of federal spending to replace water mains. And we won’t agree. But at least there’s some common understanding of what constitutes infrastructure spending. Calling entitlement spending for ongoing services “infrastructure spending”, on the other hand, veers off into not even wrong territory.

  60. The Late P Brooks

    “Oh, don’t be silly, kid. You’ll like the Tower of London. It’s got great views.”

  61. Tundra

    JBP’s latest podcast with Jocko is really good.

    It went into some interesting directions, as usual with these guys.

    One moment that struck me was the awkwardness when the conversation went to the justification for invading Iraq. I thought Jocko’s response was pretty weak. It may be Scott Horton’s book influencing my thinking, but it sure would be nice for someone of Jocko’s stature to say “No, it was a bullshit decision.”

    Other than that, it was a fun interview.

    • Mojeaux

      Bookmarked, thanks.

      I found some old notes I took while listening to a JBP lecture that really helped me and my anxiety.

  62. The Late P Brooks

    But at least there’s some common understanding of what constitutes infrastructure spending. Calling entitlement spending for ongoing services “infrastructure spending”, on the other hand, veers off into not even wrong territory.

    Absolutely.

    Try to get them to recognize the difference between “investment” and “expense”.

    They can’t.

    • R C Dean

      “Investment is good. Investment is spending on things I like. Expense is bad. Expense is spending on things I don’t like.”

      I think that’s the mindset. Its like having a conversation with a small child.

  63. creech

    “However much those roads and bridges need to be maintained, the gains from doing so will never approach what was realized from building them in the first place.”

    The first new technology has the most impact. Think Erie Canal, railroads. Then everyone jumps in: thousands of miles of canals were developed after the technology was obsolete; thousands of miles of minimally used rail lines were built. The infrastructure built at the end of booms is wasteful.

    • R C Dean

      the gains from doing so will never approach what was realized from building them in the first place

      I think the gains from maintenance are some (large?) fraction of the loss if the infrastructure ceased to exist. Because eventually, if not maintained, it will become useless. The loss may be minimal if the infrastructure has become surplus to requirements, but the loss could be large if it hasn’t. We move relatively little freight by canal, as far as I know, but we still move a lot of it by rail (although rail’s share of the freight market is declining). Investment in maintenance is a complex problem – think Don Escaped(?) has given some insight into this w/r/t truck fleets.

  64. The Late P Brooks

    The matter is made more urgent by adults who forgo vaccination because they don’t understand—or don’t care—that their decision puts others, including children, in harm’s way. The disease that has killed millions of people around the world, and continues to kill almost 1,000 Americans each day, could hypothetically be nearly eradicated if every adult underwent vaccination. But as of now, in some areas, many people remain unwilling.

    Murderous Luddites!

    Why won’t they listen to the High Priests of Public Health? Why won’t they OBEY?

    • R C Dean

      hypothetically be nearly eradicated

      That cries out for some quantification.

    • EvilSheldon

      The High Priests of Pubic Health have told me in no uncertain terms, that I can still transmit the virus even after being vaccinated. So why should I bother?

    • Rebel Scum

      on’t understand—or don’t care—that their decision puts others, including children, in harm’s way.

      Fuck. Off. You. Dishonest. Totalitarian. Cunte.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      cue Hearts and Flowers.

    • Sean

      Yeah, I’m gonna pass on this one.

      On March 31, The Defender reported on the increasing number of “breakthrough cases” of COVID in fully vaccinated people. Washington, Florida, South Carolina, Texas, New York, California and Minnesota have all reported breakthrough cases of COVID, some of which have resulted in hospitalization and death. Investigations are underway to determine if there were problems with the vaccines or if people had been infected with a variant.

      When asked about the increasing number of breakthrough cases during a White House press conference, Dr. Anthony Fauci, President Biden’s chief medical advisor, said it is something they will take seriously and follow closely, but breakthrough infections happen with any vaccination.

  65. The Late P Brooks

    Door porn

    Huh.

    *fap fap fap*

    • Hank

      “Who is it?”

      “Sexy UPS lady.”

      “Come back later – I want to spend some time alone with my door.”

  66. Hank

    I’ll just comment on the gif – I’ve heard of having a monkey on your back, but having a goat on your back…well, if one is obliged to choose, I guess goat is better.