Wednesday Morning Links

by | Apr 21, 2021 | Daily Links | 446 comments

LOL

Wow, that Super League didn’t last long. That’s a shame. UEFA runs shit like the damn mafia. Oh well. And since everything on the sports sites today is social justice bullshit, I guess that’s it for the update.

Catherine The Great was born on this day. Was she the one who did things with a horse, because I can’t remember. Anyway, she shares it with novelist Charlotte Bronte, naturalist who did a lot of stuff in California John Muir, HOF manager Joe McCarthy, actor Anthony Quinn, newly single Queen Elizabeth II, chicken magnate Don Tyson, rocker Iggy Pop, acting great Tony Danza, legendary musician Robert Smith, pitcher Jesse Orosco, infielder Ken Caminiti, hockey great Ed Belfour, and football announcer Tony Romo.

Smith doing a duet

That list is underrated.  But anyway, let’s get on to…the links!

So it’s socialism then? I’m sure there won’t be any perverse incentives that come from this ruling.  I also noted this little gem:

According to the brief, city and county officials must offer and provide shelter to Skid Row’s general population within 180 days, on or before October 18, 2021. Unaccompanied women and children must be offered housing within 90 days.

That elevation can’t be right.

Is equal protection a thing anymore, or do men just get treated like second-class citizens when it comes to shit like free housing and being forced to register for conscription? The free shit on everyone else’s dime is bad enough. So I guess the judge figured “why not throw some good old sexual discrimination in just for the hell of it.” Idiots.

And then ten million lesbians screamed out in terror. I’m just kidding. It’s only 875,000 of them.

No good deed goes unpunished. I’m mostly surprised by the fact that he’s surprised. Did he not think the government was gonna rob him? Well, I hope he learned a valuable lesson.

What the holy fuck? I can’t imagine what policy this violated that would warrant termination.  Unless they fire every other city employee that used their work email a single time for personal use.

“It’s a sitting duck. It’s a road apple, Newman.”

I guess it’s time to start paying attention to Eastern Europe. I’ll admit it’s begun to pique my interest, but I have no idea what is actually going on aside from Putin doing Putin shit.

I can’t wait for the FOIA requests to all get denied here. Because it’s Illinois, I just know the dude was being extorted by someone who got the receipts for the crooked shit he was doing. Because that’s always the case there.

What a shameful act. Those poor shoppers simply had nowhere else they could go for food in that rural hick-town of …checks notes…Oakland, California.

Former police officer found guilty of murder.

Enjoy a great song. At least I think it is.

Go out there and have a great day, dear friends!

About The Author

sloopyinca

sloopyinca

446 Comments

  1. hayeksplosives

    First?

    • UnCivilServant

      Nope, didn’t reference the content.

      • TARDis

        But she has such a cool ‘stache.

      • hayeksplosives

        Larf.

      • Nephilium

        And a permit.

      • hayeksplosives

        (Let the record state that Tardis commented that when I had Ron Swanson as my avatar)

      • Festus

        I hope that you found some Zoom friends the other night, HE. I was working.

      • hayeksplosives

        ?

      • Festus

        That fact pleases me to no end, Virtual Stranger. What a delightful little web-site that’s been built and maintained for us weirdos!

    • juris imprudent

      Aren’t you up bright and early.

  2. AlexinCT

    Former police officer found guilty of murder.

    I for one, now am sure I will NOT accept any faith that involves hoping you can get justice from the U.S. legal system.

    This will be appealed, and hopefully this travesty gets vacated, but the fact that this man is put through this shit for political purposes, should frighten us all…

    • Rat on a train

      It’s best to stay out of cities for so many reasons.

    • Brawndo

      In a vacuum, I agree with the verdict, and it’s nice to see a police officer being held accountable for their actions. I imagine that had someone that wasn’t part of the King’s Men knelt on someone’s neck for 8 minutes, they would be found guilty, regardless of the amount of drugs in the victim’s system.

      That said, this was 100% not a fair trial, or an impartial jury. Witness and jury intimidation that will get memory holed. Whether or not the violence and destruction of last summer influenced the outcome of the trial, you can guarantee that that behavior will be used again.

      I remain not optimistic for meaningful police reform.

    • Festus

      Fuck him and all of the bullies but this was was politically-motivated witch hunt. I see no good coming from this, only bad. The cops will get more insular and secretive and the crazies are emboldened. Society is being divided like a willing sorority girl at Spring Break.

    • The Wanderer

      I haven’t followed every detail of the trial like others, but the manslaughter charge seems justified. I don’t think the murder charges were adequately proven, and maybe there is solid grounds for an appeal there.

  3. hayeksplosives

    That is a respectable birthday list.

    I would love to hang out with Queen Elizabeth for a few hours.

  4. I. B. McGinty

    “naturalist who did a lot of stuff in California John Muir”

    Fun fact – John Muir’s house was near where I grew up. Apparently when I was a toddler I peed in the corner of one of the rooms.

    • juris imprudent

      Another fun fact – Muir was a religious zealot. Funny how the Sierra Club ignores that.

      • I. B. McGinty

        Facts are meant to be ignored when inconvenient…

      • The Last American Hero

        Sierra Club is full of religious zealots. Just not the kind that worship 2000 year old Jewish carpenters.

    • sloopyinca

      I’m trying to think of the most famous person’s house I relieved myself in. I’ll have to think about it for a while.

      • hayeksplosives

        Highly peculiar.

        I peed in the Tower of London. But no private homes.

        Man, I shoulda had a plan when I was younger and traveling!

      • sloopyinca

        This subthread makes me wonder how Sandy from the olden days at TOS is doing.

      • Sean

        Man, I really missed my opportunity at Fallingwater.

      • TARDis

        I peed in the Thames.

        If I had done it from the Tower Bridge, then I would be impressed with myself.

      • Tejicano

        I peed into the Yangtse – at my mother’s request.

      • Not Adahn

        Once they open the border, I’ll have to remember to pee in the St. Lawrence.

      • Rat on a train

        How many have peed in the Yellow River?

      • Certified Public Asshat

        I peed next to Jason Witten at a public bathroom. The highlight of my pissing career.

      • Chafed

        Mark Gastineau for me.

      • blighted_non_millenial

        Got you both beat. Blondie from the Clairmont Lounge.

      • robc

        I bet Elvis is the answer for a lot of people.

      • Rat on a train

        White House

      • Rat on a train

        If you flush a toilet in a classified environment, does it go into a classified sewer?

      • hayeksplosives

        Do you have a Need to Know?

      • TARDis

        Nope, just a need to GO!

        *does pee-pee dance*

      • Jerms

        My wife did an estate sale for Sean Avery the NU Ranger. Took a dump on his toilet in Southhampton and found a pic of his model gf naked.

      • Jerms

        NY fuckin phone

    • Tonio

      That you, Sandi?

      • hayeksplosives

        I missed the whole TOS sandy golden shower thing .

        I’m ok with that.

      • Tonio

        Hope you and your hubs are both doing okay.

      • hayeksplosives

        One out of two ain’t bad.

        🙂

        Thanks.

      • Swiss Servator

        Sandi was a defecator – i.e. “I once took a shit on Cleveland”

      • hayeksplosives

        Isn’t that pretty much what everyone wants to do to Cleveland?

      • Tonio

        Even though I’ve never really been there (flown through doesn’t count), I have to represent for my buddy Neph. Cleveland rocks.

      • pistoffnick

        Cleveland steams?

      • rhywun

        I have been there because that’s where the Mothership is based. It has its pluses and minuses.

        Lots of unmet potential that its leadership is most probably squandering.

      • Nephilium

        rhywun:

        Not even a question that the leadership is (and has been) squandering the potential. But they’re talking about trying to put a pedestrian bridge over the freeway to give easier access to the stadium, science center, and Rock and Roll hall of fame!

      • Nephilium

        /kicks a rock.

        At least I can be pretty sure it’s a rock here in CLE. It’s not like we’re San Francisco here!

      • DEG

        And you’re not Detroit!

      • Festus

        Neph, you are one of my top 10 Glibs. If you would give up the the incessant beer-talk you could easily move into the top 5.

      • Nephilium

        Festus:

        Fine…

        /starts talking cycling with Tonio

  5. TARDis

    Well, I hope he learned a valuable lesson.

    I’ll believe it when he sports a “Taxation is Theft!” T-shirt.

    • sloopyinca

      Let’s send him one!

  6. WTF

    All homeless people on Los Angeles’ Skid Row must be offered housing by the fall, judge orders

    I wonder the actual basis in law is for this ruling. Oh, who am I kidding, judges are basically just dictators now who are free to make up whatever they want and have it enforced as law.

    • sloopyinca

      “promote the general welfare”, perhaps?

      I’ve heard a lot of leftists using that as an excuse to push for a lot of free shit lately. Because, you know, the words “promote” and “provide” are synonyms. Even when the word “provide” is explicitly used right before that in a part of the constitution that doesn’t actually confer any power.

    • Festus

      Moar free tents, parks and sidewalks for them but not for you. You’ll still be ticketed when you don’t curb the dog but human feces is A-OK. If I were a younger, more contentious fellow I’d be tempted to squat down in front of those little Stalins and squeeze one out right next to Peanut.

      • Tonio

        I wonder if they’ll continue to ticket children’s backyard campouts.

      • Tulip

        What? I hadn’t heard of that.

      • Rat on a train

        I know that is still a Spotsyltucky issue. Is it also a crime in LA?

  7. Festus

    QE II aaannd Iggy? So yer saying I have a shot?

    • hayeksplosives

      So you’re saying there’s a chance!

      • Not Adahn

        The sexual fantasy scene from Biloxi Blues was pretty great.

      • Festus

        :-)!

  8. wdalasio

    Russia’s proposal is for Ukraine to federalise and for the breakaway regions to be granted autonomy. But this is unacceptable to the Ukrainian government and to the UK and US.

    Ignoring the fact that Putin is a bad guy, is this really a bad resolution? It basically sounds like the fairest resolution all around.

    • hayeksplosives

      It’s what I’m literally praying for.

    • sloopyinca

      Listen, asshole: People shouldn’t be able to make their own decisions. Once a border is drawn, they need to accept being ruled by whoever drew it, ethnic allegiances be damned.

      • Festus

        The Brits drawing the border with a pencil between India, Pakistan and East Pakistan went swimmingly. See also the Mid-East. No problems, thus far.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Not to mention drawing the line between (then) India and Afghanistan in such a way that it neatly bisects Pashtun and various other traditional tribal areas.

      • Rat on a train

        It also worked well in Africa.

      • hayeksplosives

        Something about a fatal conceit…

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        We’re doing the same damn thing a hundred years later.

        Wasn’t Bush Jr completely unaware of the difference between Sunni and Shia when prepping to invade Iraq?

      • Grummun

        ::Sykes and Picot nod sagely::

      • juris imprudent

        Hopefully while roasting marshmellows over brimfire.

    • Swiss Servator

      Normally having an enemy come by and say, “you need to split up so we can gobble up parts we want” isn’t a very disinterested and charitable suggestion. Russia tells Ukraine to split up, but marches in and tears off chunks of Georgia, Ukraine and carpet bombs Grozny when the Chechens want out. Double standard anyone?

      • hayeksplosives

        Georgia started that shit in 2008. They invaded Ossetia.

        The lie that Russia was the aggressor has successfully gone round the world before the truth got its boots on.

      • Swiss Servator

        Poor bullied Russia. And those meanie Baltics…they get it next! RESTORE THE EMPIRE!

      • hayeksplosives

        I have no illusions about Russia and its psychological need for buffer territory.

        But Georgia was in the wrong that time.

    • Tonio

      Once that happens, I wonder if we could petition the US government to let us form our own autonomous region?

      • Festus

        My ingrained dislike of bears has been well represented on this board. I’m sorry, Tonio. I will not nor ever will be a part of your “Bear Republic”!

      • Rat on a train

        The Bear Flag Republic hasn’t turned out well.

      • Tonio

        Ha! Well-played.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Sounds good. I too, wish to be ruled by a rapper that the week before was handing out mixtapes at the liquor store.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Russia is probably going to take everything east of the Dnieper River. We can ignore it, help facilitate a peaceful transition, or we can go to war.

      I’ll give you one guess what the fucksticks in DC want to do.

      • Swiss Servator

        So the mission of the US DoS is to facilitate a large country dismantling and absorbing its neighbors? Odd that…

        How about, it is not our circus and not our monkeys?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’m all for staying out of it.

        If we can help avoid a full-blown war in the region, I’m for that too.

      • hayeksplosives

        Right?!

        “Vital interests” has become as meaningless a phrase as “we’re all in this together.”

      • juris imprudent

        We are the rulers of the world – everyone must get our permission before they do anything. ‘murica FUCK YEAH!

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        I do agree re : Monkeys, Circus, etc. but I find the Russians using the justification that they just want the areas that ethnically Russian, somewhat familiar…

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        *taps the side of nose and nods knowingly*

      • juris imprudent

        -[a whole bunch of Kurds]

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        The only question is who is going to play the part of Neville Chamberlin? Biden, Boris, Merkel, whichever unelected pud that runs the EU?

      • Gustave Lytton

        “Pieces in our time!”

    • TARDis

      What’s important here, is how much does this increase DOD and CIA budgets?

    • Drake

      The idiots in the State Department encouraged the Ukraine to start talking shit as soon as Biden took over. They quickly realized that nobody in Europe has their backs. The U.S. probably doesn’t either.

      Putin and the Russians are very predictable. They have their version of the Monroe Doctrine and aren’t going to tolerate interference on their borders. The real problem is that nobody knows who is in charge of U.S. foreign policy or what their goals are. Are the Bidens just looking for an excuse to send more aid to the Ukrainians for the kick-backs? Deep-state commies who hate the Russians for giving up on communism? Chinese influence?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        The real problem is that nobody knows who is in charge of U.S. foreign policy

        It’s all underlings jockeying for power right now. It’s a shitshow.

      • hayeksplosives

        It’s all about money with these creeps.

        Dont try to find an underlying ideology. It’s purely goldlust.

      • Drake

        Putin seems to have put an end to the looting of the Russian economy by oligarchs. Maybe they think getting rid of him somehow will restart that party.

      • Swiss Servator

        “Putin seems to have put an end to the looting of the Russian economy by oligarchs.”

        Now restricted to him, his direct backers and cronies!

      • hayeksplosives

        Putin and the Russians are very predictable

        “Russia’s future is certain. It’s her past that’s less clear”

        —Russian proverb

  9. Tundra

    Good morning, Sloop!

    That SU-34 is a sweet looking plane.

    A song from the birthday boy.

    I haven’t looked yet, but did the shitheads burn anything last night?

    • Festus

      I think the mob is satiated, for now.

      • Swiss Servator

        Never that – they just had no excuse to start.

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      Meh, it is a SU-27 with a ground effects kit. It is like those mod packages you can use to turn a 3rd generation Firebird into KITT. No, but the Russians have some very nasty long-range IR-guided A to A missiles that don’t have the courtesy to warn the target as the radar-guided flavor do.

      • Rat on a train

        They also have some nasty thermobaric munitions.

    • Drake

      The Russkies really can design some sexy looking aircraft.

      • Rat on a train

        That ass-spike throws off the whole look.

    • Pope Jimbo

      I think we dodged a bullet for the time being.

      Verdicts made the looters happy and the weather is too shitty for them to be wandering around outside celebrating (and thus doesn’t build up into celebratory looting).

      • Tundra

        I think you are right. The Walmart by me was boarded up yesterday and Fleet Farm had plywood staged near the entrances.

    • Aerozppln

      I have to respectfully disagree. The F-22 is by far the sexiest jet out there.

      • UnCivilServant

        No.

        The F-22 looks like a cheap low-poly videogame model.

      • Aerozppln

        Shame

        *load shotgun*

      • Aerozppln

        Seriously though, I think that its strong angles give it a sense of modernity. High-fashion kill machines.

      • Aerozppln

        Its also wonderfully distinct.

      • Agent Cooper

        I think either the F16 or F15 are cooler-looking. But that’s just me.

      • Aerozppln

        It could be I just see them as too ‘normal’, seeing as theyre basically the standard these days.

      • Agent Cooper

        My fave is the decidedly non-sexy A-10. The plane the DoD couldn’t kill.

      • Aerozppln

        Cheap, effective, built to last. Capitalism at its finest

  10. Not Adahn

    And then ten million lesbians screamed out in terror.

    I’m pretty sure I’ve already told this story, but I actually had a lesbian/transmale cultleader strike up a conversation with me about my Subaru.

    • Festus

      If you are serious, this demands at least a short article.

      • Not Adahn

        It would be really short, I’d have to pad it out with a lot of nonsense.

        There’s this mxn named Lee Hennesy who runs a farm/compound in Columbia county with an all-female unpaid workforce. Lee is the guy in the pics on the farm’s website Anyway, the farm is off-limits to outsiders, so when they want to get in on the various NYS ag promotional events, they setu up some tables on the side of one of the roads up there. I was doing the Columbia County Cheese Tour (recommended if it’s ever resurrected) And pulled over, initially parking with hte nose of the WRX downhill. I was asked to move to a differentl location and had a bit of fun getting the thing to back up the steep incline without the clutch plate catching fire. After that is when Lee came up to me and busted my balls a bit about driving stick.

    • Tonio

      Wouldn’t that be transfem, if identifying as lesbian? Definitely need 800 words on that.

      • Not Adahn

        They were a lesbian for a while, before they transitioned.

      • Festus

        I’ve mentioned this before but my next door neighbor growing up was a confused child. She/He transitioned sometime in the early 2000’s. Always had the hottest friends. First under-bra boobies that I ever groped. They were trying times…

      • Not Adahn

        Don’t blame yourself, I’m sure you were groping the best you could.

      • Festus

        I was “firsting” like Brochetta. Guess which song was playing? More Than A Feeling. I shit you not.

  11. Rat on a train

    The ‘rona has hit my children’s school. I will watch the panic from a distance.

    • Agent Cooper

      We get update emails weekly about cases in our school but it’s a big nothingburger overall.

      • Rat on a train

        I’m worried they will close schools again. We’ve been back to 4-days for the past month.

      • Plisade

        Who knows if you’re on your fifth day of school in a week rather than the first through fourth? Covid knows!

      • Rat on a train

        They close on Wednesdays. You’re only at risk if you are exposed for 3 consecutive days.

  12. Rat on a train

    He didn’t create an IRS-approved charity, but instead deposited the funds in his bank account and then spent the money on whatever local families needed, he told the Hartford Courant, which earlier reported on his predicament.

    That money was just resting in my account.

  13. Not Adahn

    Customers and employees at a New Jersey diner said an aggressive goose is protecting his brood in the parking lot and has been attacking humans who get too close.

    Now I’m pictuing The Situation getting his ass handed to him by a goose and giggling.

      • Not Adahn

        The flocks have gone on through, but there are still pairs here and there. I wonder if the reason they’re not with the flick is they’re so hateful even the other hatebirds can’t stand them?

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Damn geese. They are worse than Blue Jays and Mocking Birds who are assho.

      • hayeksplosives

        I like mockingbirds.

        They got moxie.

      • Not Adahn

        None here, alas. We do have Catbirds, who are like Mockingbirds without the panache.

      • Rat on a train

        I like mockingbirds, even though they can be assholes when they are defending their nests.

      • I'm Here To Help

        I’ve actually punched a goose one time. Walking a path around a lake, and one side was the dam that created the lake. Goose took that area for its nest, and was a bit overprotective. Only choice I had was to go by it or turn back around. When I got within about 10 feet, it charged. I got a square shot on its head, and its surprise gave me enough time to get some distance between us.

        I actually like the blue jays in our yard – they remind me of some of the small, quite insane, aggressive, drunk Scots that I’ve encountered. It’s funny to watch them (the jays, not the drunk Scots – we don’t have too many of those in FL) chase off hawks that are 2-3x their size. A few months ago one of the red shouldered hawks actually caught a jay and was perched up in one of the trees eating away. Then it noticed that about 5-6 jays had gathered on the neighboring tree – I swear that I saw the “oh shit, I’m in trouble” look on that hawk’s face. It launched from that tree, and the jays were immediately in chase. Saw the hawk again later in the day, and it was missing some tufts of feathers. Haven’t seen it go after a jay again since then, even when some fledgelings were perched a few branches away on the same tree.

      • Festus

        Oh, you’ve met me about 30 years ago? “I’ll fookin’ Kill ya!

      • Tulip

        I like blue jays because they chase off squirrels.

      • Festus

        I like them because they never were around before. They’re supposed to stay East of the Rockies. Interesting birds.

      • Translucent Chum

        Blue Jays are fun. We have 6-7 that come every morning when I set out peanuts in the shell. They’ll take them and hide or bury them for later. They’ll also crack them open on the desk if they’ve decided to eat right away. I think they are the only bird that stores food for the future.

    • Pope Jimbo

      My morning walks have been by a big tom wild turkey that is in the middle of whatever you call rut for them. He’s strutting around a strip of trees between the road and a parking lot all puffed up. When you walk by he turns and faces you with a full fan of his tail feathers. It is pretty funny how important he thinks he is.

      • Tejicano

        Too bad there’s no way to explain to him how “important” he and his kind are closer to the end of November.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Wild turkeys are pretty tough and bad tasting. Being wild, they don’t carry nearly as much fat and juice as those domestic turkeys.

      • Animal

        I’ve eaten a few wild turkeys, and greatly prefer them to the domestic version. But you can’t prepare them the same way. Prepared to allow for the lack of fat, they’re delicious.

  14. Semi-Spartan Dad

    What the holy fuck? I can’t imagine what policy this violated that would warrant termination. Unless they fire every other city employee that used their work email a single time for personal use.

    They are purging law enforcement and the military of wrong-thinkers. I mentioned before that two police officers were fired in a small town near me just for being in DC on Jan 6th. It doesn’t get more rural or conservative than where I live so I’m guessing the Feds or VA state gov is pushing this purge everywhere with ties to funding.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I’m guessing the Feds or VA state gov is pushing this purge

      Most likely. I’m going to inquire with the local sheriff and get his take.

    • Rat on a train

      Everyone who was in DC on January 6th should be fired, however many hundreds of thousands that live there.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Can we start with the ones inside the Capitol before the riot started?

      • Chipwooder

        *golf clap*

  15. The Late P Brooks

    I haven’t looked yet, but did the shitheads burn anything last night?

    Riotous glee?

    • hayeksplosives

      No justice, no flatscreens.

      • TARDis

        no justice, mo’ flatscreens

      • hayeksplosives

        Your words, not mine! 😉

    • Festus

      They opened for “Morose Shoegaze” back in 1999 or so. The crowd turned their backs on the stage. Not a fun concert…

      • hayeksplosives

        Darmock and Jalad at Tanagra.

      • rhywun

        His eyes opened! ?

      • hayeksplosives

        When the walls fell.

  16. juris imprudent

    On the topic of LA housing the homeless

    The recent debate surrounding Housing First has predominantly been focused on the physical and budgetary metrics of housing retention and cost reductions. But these surface-level concerns obscure a deeper question: What happens to the human beings in these programs? The results, according to the vast majority of studies, point to a grim conclusion: Housing First does not meaningfully improve human lives.

    Almost like a rule composed of ferrous elements.

    • hayeksplosives

      I see what you did there. 🙂

      • Tres Cool

        That pun was rusty.

    • Tonio

      I’m sure they’ll get it right this time, once they iron out all the details.

      • Tejicano

        That was pretty good – I”m a gonna steel it!

      • TARDis

        We’ll alloy it!

      • Tejicano

        You guys are kiln it here!

      • UnCivilServant

        We have a good cast of punsters

      • juris imprudent

        Very well tempered.

  17. Grummun

    acting great Tony Danza

    Makes me wonder about the sincerity of the superlatives applied to the other birthday boys and girls.

    • Festus

      The guy that basically just showed up on every set and played himself? Acting! Brilliant!

      • Grummun

        just showed up … and played himself

        Nice work if you can get it. ::casts side-eyed glare at Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn::

        Vaguely related: the theme song to Taxi is tight.

    • Chipwooder

      FWIW…..my uncle lived next door to him in the ’90s in Sherman Oaks and said he was a great neighbor.

  18. robc

    Super League is an abomination, what possible good could come from it?

    Yes, UEFA sucks hard, but that is even worse. True risk is the one great thing about European sports leagues, that we need to adopt in America. Your billion dollar investment should be on the line if you suck as an owner. This year proves that Liverpool and Tottenham and Arsenal (and Chelsea too, really) don’t **deserve** anything just because of the name.

    And Man City was two levels down earlier this century. As good as they are now, it is a flash in the pan historically.

    Next sloopy is going to support the Yankees getting an automatic spot in the baseball playoffs.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      It’s just tough that the winner of the super league losing is still UEFA. I guess this is me being a shameless Spurs supporter, but since they don’t win anything they had no business in being part of the super clubs, so kudos to them for somehow getting involved.

      • robc

        I more think of it as Real Madrid being the super big loser, so that is a win for everyone else.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        You just made me smile robc. Barcelona too, is still broke.

      • rhywun

        ^this

        I hate them.

      • robc

        The really interesting thing is what happens next. Their is a tightrope that has to be walked. One, after a coup attempt, you can’t allow the leaders free to reorganize, there has to be significant punishment. However, two, you need to avoid a Germany WW1 type punishment, because you dont want to give them no choice but to try again.

        I wouldn’t do anything for this year, but a 12 pt reduction in domestic league for the 21-22 season might be about right.

    • juris imprudent

      There is something about soccer that draws truly megalomaniacal personalities into the upper reaches of clubs and federations. Perez is a disgrace.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        +1,000,000 FIFA Graft

      • robc

        It isn’t just soccer. IOC and F1 are probably worse.

        I think the rest of the world puts up with a level of corruption that the US wouldn’t tolerate.

  19. Rebel Scum

    Norfolk Police Lt. William Kelly anonymously gave $25 to a fundraiser for Rittenhouse in September, using his city email address,

    Stupid is as stupid does. But for some reason I think there would be a double-standard if he donated to BLM or something.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Absolutely. In fact, I bet the city has encouraged it.

      • Tejicano

        Encouraged? It wouldn’t surprise me if they had a matching scheme.

  20. Mojeaux

    QEII cottoned onto my barfday.

    • Tonio

      HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!1!

    • Tundra

      Happy birthday, Mo! I hope it’s a groovy one!

    • Trigger Hippie

      Happy barfday!

    • Rat on a train

      Monarchs think they can take anything.

      Maligayang kaarawan.

      • whahappan

        Don’t be flip.

    • Not Adahn

      I thought the Queen’s Birthday was always on June 1 or something like that.

      • UnCivilServant

        There’s the Queen’s Birthday and the Queen’s Birthday (Observed).

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Happy Birthday!

    • Sean

      Happy Birthday!

    • TARDis

      Happy 14th Birthday Mo!

      *runs away*

      • Mojeaux

        12. 😉

      • Not Adahn

        …and this is why LDS has a reputation.

      • Mojeaux

        You haven’t heard my voice yet, have you? 😉

      • TARDis

        So many things I wanna say.

      • Mojeaux

        You say you like your girls a little bit older? Like, say, 41 years older?

      • TARDis

        Sure, +41 is fine. But I was thinking more middle-aged. Like 14, 15, 16. 12 is OMWC territory.
        /rimshot

      • Mojeaux

        Heaven help me if I were stuck in the position of being 14, 15, 16 again. Yikes!

    • Tejicano

      Happy Birthday Mo!

    • hayeksplosives

      Have a festive yule, Mo!

    • Bill Door

      Happy Birthday Mojeaux!

    • DEG

      Happy Birthday!

    • Festus

      Indeed! One of my favorite Glibs! Happy Birthday! You have led me to re-thinking many of my preconceived notions and opened my eyes regarding Mormonism and religion in general. I thank you for that, Young Lady. I’m so happy to have made your acquaintance on this forum! Bon Chance!

      • Mojeaux

        Thanks, Festus. I don’t feel like I contribute much except glibbety-glib, but thank you!

      • Festus

        Ah don’t mind me, I was just being a cunte 😉

    • Creosote Achilles

      Happy Birthday, Mo!

    • Lady Z

      Happy birthday!

  21. juris imprudent

    “Every rank and file police officer supports you. Don’t be discouraged by actions of the political class of law enforcement leadership.”

    Kelly was fired this week, officials said.

    Not The Bee. He probably could’ve saved his job if he had shot a dog or something.

      • Rat on a train

        I was for the SPLC before I was against it.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Youngkin appears to be a Romney clone.

        With any luck he’ll be destroyed so badly in the primary he has to leave the state.

      • Chipwooder

        At least that will stop the texts and mailers from him.

  22. rhywun

    “The law prevents businesses from profiteering profiting during a declared state of emergency,” District Attorney Nancy O’Malley said in a statement.

    Kulaks and wreckers.

    FTFY. Because there won’t be any profit after the business collapses.

    • hayeksplosives

      Should I become a kulak or a wrecker?

      So many choices.

      • rhywun

        Kulak has a cool ring to it.

  23. robc

    Top baseball birthday is Hardy Richardson. 19th century everything man. 585 games at 2B, 547 in OF, 178 at 3B, 21 at SS, 16 at 1B, 6 at C, and 5 as a pitcher. All five of the latter were in relief, he ended with 3 wins and 0 losses.

    He was also a strong proponent of the Players League, for its one year of existence (tying things back into the Super League subthread, sorta). Also, wikipedia has a great story of him and Cap Anson.

    Richardson was involved in another unusual circumstance in a game against the Chicago White Stockings on August 13, 1884. Chicago’s George Gore was instructed by player-manager Cap Anson to avoid the double play. When the next batter hit a ground ball, Gore tackled Richardson at second base before he could complete the relay throw. The umpire called both the batter and the runner out, and Anson protested the ruling and refused to resume play, leading the umpire to declare the game forfeited to Buffalo. The two teams then agreed to resume a game which had been postponed earlier in the season, as a way of placating the dissatisfied fans. In the later game, Anson decided to demonstrate of the right way to break up the double play. He reached first base, and when the next batter hit a ground ball to Richardson, Anson waved his arms while running to second in an effort to interfere with Richardson’s throw. Possibly flustered by this display, Richardson in turn struck Anson square in the head with his throw, which was delivered hard enough that it bounced all the way into the grandstands. A woozy Anson was forced to leave the game.

    • robc

      I have often thought that the proper way for a 2B to retaliate for a hard breakup slide is to land cleats first down on the slider, dont try to jump out of the way, go straight up and straight down.

  24. The Late P Brooks

    The results, according to the vast majority of studies, point to a grim conclusion: Housing First does not meaningfully improve human lives.

    Nonsense. How many bureaucrats’ children have been sent to college by feed-the-poor and house-the-homeless programs?

  25. Scruffy Nerfherder

    LOL

    Guy who normally cuts out the dealer and orders product direct from the manufacturer and can’t get any because they’re out of stock wants me to sell the product to him at my cost. Because that’s what he normally pays.

    It was difficult not to to tell him to fuck off.

    • Swiss Servator

      “Now why would I do that?”

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        “Tell you what, not only will I take a loss on the sale, I’ll have my wife hand deliver them to you along with a fifth of bourbon.”

        I have used that one before.

      • UnCivilServant

        And I still have yet to get either the product or the bourbon.

        0/5 stars. Bad faith seller.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’ll have to ask my wife what happened. I guess I’m going to have to dock her pay.

  26. Rebel Scum

    I have no idea what is actually going on

    Russia took Crimea and apparently there are pro-Russian regions in Ukraine that it should probably just cede to Russia to avoid a major conflict.

    • juris imprudent

      Why, it’s almost like Ukraine is a made up set of borders that don’t comport with the wishes of the people that live there.

      • hayeksplosives

        Ukrainian Nationalists are not Boy Scouts.

        Another great reason for the US to keep the fuck out.

        No good can come from it.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        C’mon HE, we’ve got great friends over there!

        You know, the kind that pay the salaries of our politicians’ ne’er-do-well progeny.

      • hayeksplosives

        Barf.

        If you’d written a screenplay where the son of the US president was as much of a shit as Hunter Biden, the editors would have laughed you out of the office.

        You just can’t make this up.

      • juris imprudent

        That would’ve made a great episode/story arc in The West Wing.

    • Swiss Servator

      And the Crimeans rejoiced! Not like the Russians had put a bunch in boxcars and shipped them elsewhere…

      • grrizzly

        That was 80 years ago. Not in 2014.

  27. ignoreLander

    Is equal protection a thing anymore, or do men just get treated like second-class citizens when it comes to shit like free housing and being forced to register for conscription

    No, that is purely false.

    Is equal protection a thing anymore, or do men just get treated like second-class citizens

    Yes, that is 100% true.

    • Nephilium

      You’re just patriarching wrong!

      /whips orphan polishing monocles

  28. Rebel Scum

    A Bay Area grocery store owner pled guilty last Wednesday to two counts of “flagrant” price gouging after officials found that items in the shop were marked up by up to 300%.

    Supply, meet demand.

    • hayeksplosives

      🙂

      Supply, meet demand.

      I love it.

  29. pistoffnick

    Your girlfriend might be better, but mine has the nicest hips.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mT1oDRYy8kg

    j/k I don’t have a girlfriend or a sports car or a Lear jet with a portable bar.

  30. Rebel Scum

    “Today, we are able to breathe again,” Floyd’s younger brother Philonise said

    It helps when you are not on enough fentanyl to kill a horse.

    The jury of six whites and six Black or multiracial people came back with its verdict after about 10 hours of deliberations over two days. The now-fired white officer was found guilty of second-degree unintentional murder, third-degree murder and second-degree manslaughter.

    It’s amazing how he managed to kill Fentanyl Floyd 3 times.

    • ignoreLander

      I don’t know the facts of the case, because I couldn’t possibly care less if I tried. But guilty OF ALL CHARGES, even those that contradict the others…. Well that smacks of a jury frightened by governmental coercion.

      I’m pretty sure that the appropriate judicial body will step in and declare a mistrial, and let this thing be judged impartially, and not by media, mob, and authoritarian government.

      • Drake

        It was reported that one of the jurors actually lives in Brooklyn Center and wasn’t sequester while the riots were going on.

      • hayeksplosives

        As fucked up as California undoubtedly is, I’m soooo glad I escaped Minneapolis in the nick of time.

        You can’t have that fucked up a society AND have 6-month winters, condor sized mosquitos, and require a snowblower to leave your house.

    • juris imprudent

      And stupidity, like rust, never sleeps.

  31. Stinky Wizzleteats

    “Transgender resident on Skid Row: ‘This is a world too’”

    Just bask in the wisdom of the transgender homeless person. What the hell does that even mean?

    • juris imprudent

      Maybe it means, just leave them the hell alone if they aren’t on your property.

    • TARDis

      What the hell does that even mean?

      *Thumbs through Biden Translation Journal*

      I got nuthin’.

      *Shrugs*

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      I have a Herb Albert on Vinyl. Say what you will, but that guy can play a horn.

      • I'm Here To Help

        I think it is an unwritten rule that anyone who has vinyl has to have at least one copy of “Whipped Cream and Other Delights.”

        We have 2. I have no idea where they came from…

      • I'm Here To Help

        Yup! Have a copy of that one as well. Prefer the original’s cover though 🙂

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        That’s a horrible horrible album, made famous because of whipped cream girl on the cover.

        A true humanitarian charity would buy every extant copy and burn them all so we vinyl collectors needn’t be subjected to that bullshit again.

  32. ruodberht

    Soooo when is Russia giving back Königsberg?

    • DEG

      Heh.

    • Rat on a train

      Why? There aren’t any Germans there now.

      • ruodberht

        Like the kid who murders his parents pleading for mercy on account of being an orphan?

      • Rat on a train

        Just more ethnic cleansing following WWII, similar to the ethnic cleansing following WWI.

  33. Rebel Scum

    Maybe you should just enforce federal law?

    Garland added, “I felt that beginning last summer, at least, there was a chance to bring this to the fore of the national consciousness, to create a moment in which we could change.”

    “And like many Americans, I was shocked. But many black Americans were not shocked because they have known of this kind of treatment before,” he continued.

    “And part of the reason that I wanted to be attorney general was I wanted to help bring that change,” he added. “All of us in our family feel an obligation – public service – and try to protect other people the way the country protected us.” …

    “I have a chance to lead a Justice Department in pursuit of the rule of law and ensuring the independence of the department, and its independence — particularly — from any kind of partisan influence in the way we bring investigations or prosecutions,” he concluded.

    Now, about those political prisoners you are holding…

    • Agent Cooper

      ““ felt that beginning last summer, at least, there was a chance to bring this to the fore of the national consciousness, ”

      This indicates you are speaking with a sociopath.

    • Plisade

      “they have known of this kind of treatment”

      “And Peter twirled the jangling Keys in weariness and wrath.
      “Ye have read, ye have heard, ye have thought,” he said, “and the tale is yet to run:
      “By the worth of the body that once ye had, give answer—what ha’ ye done?”
      Then Tomlinson looked back and forth, and little good it bore,
      For the darkness stayed at his shoulder-blade and Heaven’s Gate before:—
      “O this I have felt, and this I have guessed, and this I heard men say,
      “And this they wrote that another man wrote of a carl in Norroway.”
      “Ye have read, ye have felt, ye have guessed, good lack! Ye have hampered Heaven’s Gate;
      “There’s little room between the stars in idleness to prate!
      “For none may reach by hired speech of neighbour, priest, and kin
      “Through borrowed deed to God’s good meed that lies so fair within;
      “Get hence, get hence to the Lord of Wrong, for thy doom has yet to run,
      “And . . . the faith that ye share with Berkeley Square uphold you, Tomlinson!””

    • tripacer

      I thought I remember reading back when this happened that they were hardcore democrat believers. If so, I wonder if the R’s will buy it. I guess it worked for OMB

      • Agent Cooper

        Come up with your own wording for my typo.

  34. Stinky Wizzleteats

    “ I’ll admit it’s begun to pique my interest, but I have no idea what is actually going on aside from Putin doing Putin shit.”

    Just chalk what’s happening up to ninety percent on us for blowback for sticking our damn nose where it doesn’t belong and you’re most of the way there.

    • Swiss Servator

      Sure and 10% is Ukraine’s fault. Poor Russia, so provoked and misunderstood.

      • ruodberht

        You don’t want to bring the band (USSR) back together? Must be a Russiophobe.

      • juris imprudent

        The Rus were originally based in Kiev, not Moscow. But of course we can simplify that to a narrative that fits better.

      • Rat on a train

        Give Kiev back to the Scandinavians?

      • hayeksplosives

        This guy knows his Rus history

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        They’re protecting their interests in their backyard just like we would if the situation was reversed and they’ve shown quite a bit of restraint in doing that. Ukraine agitating for immediate NATO entry and threatening action in eastern Ukraine is a red line for the Russians and this reaction was predictable.

      • hayeksplosives

        Swiss, you are a very intelligent man and one whom we all respect.

        I’m guessing a straightforward soliloquy or debate from you about Russia would be more persuasive to public opinion than “Poor Russia is bullied” eyeroll thing that seems beneath you yet you’ve deployed it twice already this morning.

      • Swiss Servator

        Russia is run by a KGB officer, it has attacked several neighbors, people are spending an awful lot of time muttering about how sensitive the poor downtrodden Russian Empire is… how they are justified in beating down and tearing chunks off of their neighbors because…um, history, it’s their backyard, etc. I guess we need to shut up about China banging on Tibet, Hong Kong and such, because of the same reasons, eh?

        What is so wrong about pointing out the bad actions of an aggressive, despotic state?

        Maybe people are conflating pointing out what a shitheel Russia is with a call for war with them.

        Decrying the carpetbombing of Grozny isn’t a call for war.

      • hayeksplosives

        See? That was a respectable and specific statement. I like it.

        I don’t perceive people apologizing for Putin’s conquests (which he does to boost his own popularity) from where I stand. Most people do think Russia is a bully.

        And the one thing McCain got right was his opinion of Putin.

        My deal is that my heart breaks for the people of Russia. They’ve had nothing but shit for “leadership” for a couple of thousand years.

      • juris imprudent

        Three avatar changes in one morning – now THIS is a mythical libertarian woman!

      • juris imprudent

        And this is a comment that has more appreciation of nuance than the usual Putin commentary. Thank god.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Sure, the Russian leadership are no angels, no doubt and they do seem intent on expansion but why provide them with a pretext? Whether their actions are justifiable or not, this reaction could be seen from a mile away.

      • Swiss Servator

        Sometimes snark is all that is deserved.

  35. Rebel Scum

    Unity, healing, etc.

    Michael Moore
    @MMFlint

    YES!!
    In handcuffs!
    Now on to the work!.
    All of us demand an end to white supremacy and white privilege.
    How many innocent black and brown ppl are in prison? Free them all! Arrest all police who break the law. Remove all racist cops. End policing as we know it. It doesn’t work.

    There was literally no racial angle (other than racist leftist hating white people) to this.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Posted from the confines of some estate in crime free Whiteville no doubt. I’ll take that fat fuck seriously when he donates all of his white privilege enabled gains to the NAACP (and just between me and you even then I won’t take him seriously).

      • The Other Kevin

        According to that White Fragility author, donating to black charities shows white privilege. So she has no choice but to keep all those millions of dollars she’s making off racial division. Convenient, that.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Wait…. what?

        I need a link to that one.

      • The Other Kevin

        Can’t find the link, of course. It was a book review, and one of the things it mentions is you’re not supposed to look for “solutions” to racism, that would be racist.

      • UnCivilServant

        If you solve the problem, how are the grifters gonna grift off it?

    • The Other Kevin

      There are too many black and brown people in jail. But fixing that would mean the politicians in charge would have to get rid of a bunch of laws that put people in jail for non-violent offenses. The cops are just enforcing those laws. But I’m pretty sure that’s not what he means.

    • Muzzled Woodchipper

      And this is Exhibit A as to why the problem will never be fixed.

      As long as police problems are addressed as race problems, the bullshit will continue.

      We have cop problems, not racist white supremacy problems. You can’t fix a problem you’re not even capable of describing.

      • Agent Cooper

        We have class problems. Outside of Reese Witherspoon, the connected rarely have to deal with police hassle.

        Granted, a lot of lower-class people are that way for concrete reasons. A lot of them aren’t that good with life skills.

    • UnCivilServant

      I do hereby affirm, under penalty of perjury, that I had no part in the design, composition, editing, publication, or promotion of Andy’s book.

  36. Drake

    I wonder what the motivation is for the Daily Mail headline?

    Lined up on a runway just 100 miles from Ukraine, 15 supersonic Russian fighter- bombers await their orders from the Kremlin.

    That doesn’t sound like many at all. How many “supersonic fighter- bombers” does the U.S. have ready to fly near our borders or on aircraft carriers? How about Poland, the UK, Turkey, Israel, Germany…?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      War sells.

      • ruodberht

        But who’s buying? Wait, that’s peace…

    • Rat on a train

      The US has a squadron of bombers at Minot, less than 50 miles from Canada.

      • Gustave Lytton

        54-40 or fight! Make BC Oregon Territory again!

      • UnCivilServant

        I don’t want Vancouver.

      • Rat on a train

        We can bypass. We just want land access to Alaska. Contiguous territory. Is that too much to ask?

      • robc

        Alberta, NW Territory and Yukon, problem solved.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Vancouver is beautiful. It’s the Vancouverites that suck.

      • Drake

        You are suggesting a neutron bomb?

      • Agent Cooper

        Vancouver looks like the 80s threw up in high-rise apartment-living fashion.

      • Swiss Servator

        Um…”Free Cascadia”?

      • Festus

        You fuckers can have Vancouver and Victoria but the rest of it is ours.

  37. The Late P Brooks

    Maybe I’m missing something, but if you get fired over an “anonymous” donation, I can’t help thinking it wasn’t actually anonymous.

    • Drake

      The fund for Rittenhouse’s defense was hacked and publicized. God forbid the kid gets legal representation.

      • Rat on a train

        Due process is only for the innocent.

      • Not Adahn

        Due process is only for the innocent. worthy.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      His mistake was using a work account to do it. Probably wouldn’t have happened if it’d been a personal.

      • Grummun

        I don’t know. Based on the quote from the city manager, the cop was sacked expressly due to the words of encouragement that accompanied the donation:

        “His egregious comments erode the trust between the Norfolk Police Department and those they are sworn to serve.”

        Maybe the city doesn’t find out about the donation if it comes from a private address, but doxxing the unclean seems to be popular among the righteous these days.

  38. Rebel Scum

    Harcore.

    A convicted killer who is fighting a possible June execution date that would make him the first person put to death in Nevada in 15 years is calling for the state to consider the firing squad as an option, a rare method in the United States.

    Attorneys for Zane Michael Floyd say he does not want to die and are challenging the state plan to use a proposed three-drug method, which led to court challenges that twice delayed the execution of another convicted killer who later took his own life in prison.

    • Rebel Scum

      Hardcore*

    • leon

      If you are going to be executed, shouldn’t some leeway be given to the preference of the executed?

      • UnCivilServant

        Now I’m envisioning someone demanding their right to decapitation by sword as a member of the aristocracy.

      • Tejicano

        Given as to how difficult it is to decapitate a person in one stroke – particularly if the sword wielder has never even tried it before – that would be pretty gruesome way to go.

      • UnCivilServant

        Oh, I am well aware.

        But people be crazy.

      • hayeksplosives

        They brought in a Frenchman expert swordsman to part Anne Boleyn’s head from her neck.

        The government was a bit freaked out about precedent for execution of a Queen, and decapitation was chosen as the most dignified.

      • UnCivilServant

        So… we’d need to hire a Saudi?

      • hayeksplosives

        It might be more humane than trying to kill a guy by injecting potassium in him until he has a seizure or a coma.

      • Tejicano

        The point about decapitation which I think would be difficult for the first person experience – if done by an experienced hand – is how the head will most probably still be alive and conscious for the split second while tumbling downward before hitting the floor/ground. It won’t last more than a second or two but that must suck something huge.

      • hayeksplosives

        I am pretty sure there are eyewitness accounts of recapitulations during the Reign of Terror where it was daily entertainment (???) in which the witnesses wrote that the living heads had a solid three seconds of looking around before the light went out.

      • UnCivilServant

        There was one test during the reign where the condemned agreed to try to keep blinking as long as possible and it ran for something like fifteen seconds, but it is unknown how much of that was actually conscious effort and how much was just spasms.

      • hayeksplosives

        How utterly horrifying.

      • Chipwooder

        If I’m not mistaken, it was the pioneering chemist Antoine Lavoisier who did that.

      • Not Adahn

        I have done enough tatami cuts that are supposedly equivalent to a decapitation that it’s automatic at this point. I have been told by more than one person who claims to have cut pigs that living bones are easier to cut through than dead, but I am deeply suspicious of that.

        The trick is in the hips, of course.

      • Tejicano

        Either way, I’d prefer a 9mm to the back of the head. Preferably without warning. Even if the shot was poorly placed the concussion would probably knock me out long enough to bleed out and be done before I would know about it.

      • hayeksplosives

        The trick is in the hips, of course.

        As is true with so many things in life 🙂

      • UnCivilServant

        There is no difference in structure that would cause dead bones to be harder to cut. Unless you’ve fossilized or something.

      • Not Adahn

        Considering that Japanese sword testers used dead bodies not living ones also make me disbelieve. Which is why I always try to remember that the tatami-human equivalent is based on the human being a Japanese peasant who never ate anything but rice in his short life.

        I imagine the reason why the living tests were reported as easier is the adrenaline/flow factor of making the cut as a goddamn charging boar is trying to gut you.

      • Agent Cooper

        Well, I’m sure the goberment would never hire a hack.

      • Rat on a train

        snoo snoo?

      • hayeksplosives

        The pharmaceutical companies who used to provide the chemicals for “lethal injection” executions were sued out of it so badly by bleeding hearts that now the only available drugs are quite unpredictable and unpleasant.

        (Not a fan of the government offing its citizens, but as long as it’s the law, shouldn’t we do it at least as humanly as we euthanatize out pets?)

      • UnCivilServant

        Dragged behind the woodshed and given one bullet to the back of the skull?

      • juris imprudent

        So a chamber filled with nitrogen?

      • Rat on a train

        Gas or liquid?

      • juris imprudent

        Tossed into a vat of liquid nitrogen? Crunchy!

      • Animal

        Could I choose to be fucked to death by Kate Beckinsale?

      • Ownbestenemy

        ^^^ Any day, all day

      • Nephilium

        Have you seen the movie Seven?

      • juris imprudent

        *orson welles slow clapping*

      • hayeksplosives

        WHATS IN THE BOX???

      • Hank

        “Who are you to question her punishment?”

        (adapted from an old joke)

  39. Rebel Scum

    How dare you contradict the woke mob.

    A former player for the Virginia Tech women’s soccer team is suing the team’s coach, saying that he launched a campaign of abuse against her and forced her off the team after she would not kneel before games.

    Kiersten Hening has filed a federal lawsuit against Coach Chugger Adair.

    “Hening’s stance was costly — too costly,” reads the lawsuit, filed on March 3. “Her coach dislikes Hening’s political views. Because she refused to kneel, he benched her, subjected her to repeated verbal abuse, and forced her off the team.”

    Hening’s suit says she “supports social justice and believes black lives matter,” but “does not support the BLM organization.” It alleges that Adair singled Hening out during the halftime of a September game after she did not kneel and that he continued to criticize her performance and did not let her start subsequent games, even though she had done so previously.

    • ignoreLander

      “Chugger Adair”?

      Yeah, we’ll just say, something wrong there right at the outset.

  40. l0b0t

    Regarding the topic (on the dead thread) of mono-wheel thingys to hack your commute. There is a fellow I see several times per week riding a mono-wheel that is straddled, foot pads on each axle, and extremely fast. Always sporting riding leathers, knee/elbow pads, and a fancy Shoei helmet, he zooms down Cross Bay Blvd. (from Howard Beach down to Broad Channel), he keeps pace with the traffic; posted speed is 40 but cars routinely travel 60 – 80 until the wee village of Broad Channel and their 30mph limit and speed cameras.

    • Tejicano

      “Always sporting riding leathers, knee/elbow pads, and a fancy Shoei helmet, ”

      How much you wanna bet he’s fallen off it before?

  41. kV

    Just want to say thanks for existing, you magnificent glib bastards. Made the mistake of perusing the “comments” at TOS yesterday — good grief!

    • Rat on a train

      You are required to quarantine. We can’t risk it spreading.

    • hayeksplosives

      Hey, Tulpa!

      You know what to do.

      • Not Adahn

        F… fuck off?

      • hayeksplosives

        Ding ding ding!

        🙂

    • Mojeaux

      Here, come in! Make yourself at home! Lay upon us your grievances!

      • UnCivilServant

        If they’re grievences with us, make them funny.

  42. DEG

    “The law prevents businesses from profiteering during a declared state of emergency,” District Attorney Nancy O’Malley said in a statement. “This case marks the first successful prosecution in Alameda County for price gouging in the time of the pandemic.”

    Go fuck yourself.

  43. The Late P Brooks

    “Profiteering” is bad.

    What if there were a law against political pandering and using tragedies for personal political advancement?

    What would become of our betters?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Yeah, that’s about as justified as it gets.

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      This looks like 100% a good shoot. Probably saved that other girl’s life.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Doesn’t matter.

      • UnCivilServant

        “I’m sorry, that was ‘promoted resting in peace’.”

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        The ghetto lottery is real.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        In fact, I’d be wiling to bet money that mere minutes after this hit the news, multiple attorneys and activist groups were contacting the mother with guidance on how to monetize the tragedy and manage public appearances.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I don’t blame the mother for defending her dead kid but I do blame those who didn’t have a personal relationship for twisting it like they have.

      • leon

        Havn’t watched to video (I’d rather not, i don’t like watching any of these videos), but your principle holds generally, you can’t expect a mother who just lost a child to not defend the child.

        But we do need other people to be more level headed about it.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I can expect people to not openly create a myth. She was neither peaceful nor little.

        The video is clear. She was winding up to stab the shit out of that girl. The cop was either a very good shot or got lucky because the almost victim was in the line of fire as well.

        It was literally a split second decision. Had he hesitated even for a second, she would have stuck her.

      • leon

        I’m saying asking a mother to say her child deserved, right after she loses said child is asking a bit much.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        If she’s truly trying to defend her child, I would anticipate something like “The video doesn’t show everything. Right before the cops got there, [the girl almost stabbed] tried to kill my baby’s little brother. She thought she had a gun and was just defending her little brother against both of those thugs. 2 on 1… my girl’s a hero and now she’s dead.

        The mother is just spitting out the right words for the payout.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Not saying she should disparage her daughter.

        I’m saying that if it were my kid, I’d be avoiding the media altogether either out of despair or shame, probably both. Mom is running straight towards them with a story that doesn’t even come close to what the video depicts very clearly.

      • juris imprudent

        to not openly create a myth

        Lie, not myth. A myth contains some truth. This is flat out delusional lying. Show that stupid bitch what her crotch-fruit was up to. Get momma to convince the kid about to be sliced open how peaceful Makhia was. Fucking reality doesn’t care about someone’s delusions.

    • Rebel Scum

      With the limited info/context it looks like a good shoot.

      So I guess we can expect riots.

    • Nephilium

      That the Columbus one? Even the headlines up here aren’t portraying this one as a bad shoot:

      Columbus police show bodycam video from officer’s shooting of teen girl armed with knife [end of headline]
      Police showed bodycam footage Tuesday night at a news conference of the officer shooting the girl, who was Black, as she appeared to attempt to stab…

      There were also two other shootings up here in Cleveland over the past week. One was DEA, and the other was in pursuit of a homicide suspect.

      • Chipwooder

        This is one case where the cop truly was in a no-win. If he doesn’t react quickly, and the girl gets stabbed and dies, he’d be pilloried for that – you think he would have hesitated to save a white girl’s life??? When he does react quickly, it’s because he is itching to shoot a black girl.

    • Agent Cooper

      My neighbor across the street was a Cbus cop for many many years. Retired in May of last year. His last assignment was going to be to go plainclothes undercover and infiltrate the BLM protesters in the city. I think he retired on the spot.

  44. wdalasio

    How about, it is not our circus and not our monkeys?

    Completely agreed. My initial point is that, in addition to having nothing to do with our interests, I really don’t think there’s some sort of moral imperative for the United States to commit its blood and treasure to the noble cause of ensuring that people who have no desire to be part of the Ukraine and have no affinity for the people or government of the Ukraine remain a political minority ruled by a centralized Ukrainian state.

    • juris imprudent

      If we don’t defend democratic tyranny in Ukraine, how can we defend it here?!? /progjection

  45. The Late P Brooks

    Muh legacy

    The Biden administration on Tuesday formally threw its support behind a long-shot bid from Democrats to make Washington, D.C., the 51st state.

    Congress should “provide for a swift and orderly transition to statehood” for the more than 700,000 Washington residents who do not have full voting representation in the House and Senate, the Office of Management and Budget said in a statement of administration policy.

    The White House’s full-throated support for D.C. statehood came days before the House is set to vote on a bill that would put the commonwealth on “equal footing with the other states.”

    /em>

    For a doddering senile old man, he’s a whirlwind of destruction.

    • Rebel Scum

      The only thing that would be constitutionally permissible is to cede the residential and commercial land back to Maryland, not that anyone cares.

    • juris imprudent

      It would of course be much simpler and less controversial to retrocede most of DC back to MD. Whycome no proposal to do that?

      • robc

        Maryland doesnt want them.

      • kbolino

        In my (admittedly limited) experience asking about this, no one has really objected. A lot of things are already integrated, cross the state/district line, or serve the general area already, like MNCPPC, WMATA, WSSC, etc.

        It would turn Maryland bluer, but the Democrats already have a supermajority in the legislature, so it’s not like the change would be drastic. It’s also in significantly better shape, economically and criminally, than Baltimore (a reversal of their positions over the past 20 years).

        The bigger reason might be that the District residents don’t want it, but I don’t know that for sure either.

      • leon

        You can’t get extra Dem Senators that way duh!

      • juris imprudent

        Why I have no tolerance for Democratic Party bullshit.

    • rhywun

      They’re gonna keep the Supremes busy AF for the next few years.

      • UnCivilServant

        That’s why they want to increase staffing on the bench.

      • Ownbestenemy

        That is probably an underlying goal actually, since they can point to the constitutional caseload cannot be met by the current size of the court.

      • leon

        The courts wont stop it so by the time it hits SCOTUS Roberts will just shrug and say “if we fix the problem it would harm all these people, because removing a benefit that you had no right to is a harm”

    • UnCivilServant

      He should have bought the MadCats instead.

  46. SP

    Good morning, from Dayton, Glib friends.

    As I am lunching with the local Glib contingent, I will be driving during the regularly scheduled midweek Zoom this evening.

    Anyone else is welcome to host in my stead.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Might as well add Tundra to the invite list.

      The odds of him showing up to your lunch are the same as if the lunch was in Minnesoda.

  47. The Late P Brooks

    I’d prefer a 9mm to the back of the head. Preferably without warning.

    Okay, we’re gonna do this. On “three”. Ready?

    “One…” BLAM!

    • hayeksplosives

      He’s my dog, Ma. I’ll do it.

      • grrizzly

        hayek,
        I sent you a PM thru the forum. Neither urgent nor important.

    • ruodberht

      Surprise execution paradox!

  48. leon

    All homeless people living on Los Angeles’ Skid Row must be offered housing by October 18, a federal judge ordered Tuesday.

    I guess this is a Judge who believes his words are magic and that when he commands the very elements of the earth must obey to create housing?

    • Drake

      Somebody was talking about work-farms the other day…

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      What percentage of the homeless want to be homeless for various reasons I wonder?

    • juris imprudent

      A regular philosopher-king that judge.

  49. Rebel Scum

    This does not sound like someone that should be an AG…

    ABC News
    @ABC

    Minnesota Attorney General Keith Ellison: “I would not call today’s verdict justice, however—because justice implies restoration. But it is accountability.”

    • hayeksplosives

      Ermergerd. I used to live in Ellison’s district when he was a US rep. I met him once. He really is genuinely below average intelligence. Like maybe 80 IQ.

      And a total jerk; violent to his (now ex) wife.

      They celebrated him as the “first muslim blahdy blah” but he is Nation of Islam. Not “regular” Islam.

  50. Rebel Scum

    Probably because she was about to jab the other girl with a deadly weapon.

    After playing part of the body camera footage of the shooting, Williams stated, “There was no attempt to use pepper spray or a taser, non-lethal force. While a knife can be seen in the footage before the officer fires his weapon, he indeed fired his weapon.”

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      This is the stupidest case of this shit yet. There are plenty of iffy shootings out there, why pick this one?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Because for the moment, the wind has been taken out of the USS Floyd’s sails.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Honestly, I think they pick ridiculous examples like this to discredit the reform movement in order to keep this stuff going. There’s no good footage or charity grifting if the conflict is resolved.

      • hayeksplosives

        The “why pick this one?” puzzled me a few years ago when there were some clear-cut non racial bad shoots and good shoots to talk about.

        Then someone explained to me that they didn’t want a clear cut case because they couldn’t rile people up and divide us. They want strife. That’s why even Tamir Rice didnt stay on the front pages for long. They’d rather go on about Trayvon.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The stabbee got very lucky that the cop was as fast and accurate as he was.

      Why haven’t they interviewed the potential victim?

  51. hayeksplosives

    I owe all of you a profuse apology for my morning ramblings today. I was belligerent and manic.

    My brain took over and decided to “check” myself. My blood sugar was low and my oxygen was too.

    Especially Swiss: I am sorry I was a dick!

    • Mojeaux

      I didn’t see that you were a dick or in any way out of line with anybody.

    • rhywun

      Oooo! What’d I miss?

      JK

  52. Festus

    I need to eat something, anything and then hit the hay. I love all of you crazy people! Festus out!

  53. The Late P Brooks

    Apropos of nothing-

    I saw a person I know, “at the bar” yesterday. I first saw him walking alone on the sidewalk, in the bright sunshine, wearing a mask. Then he came in, sat at the bar right next to a couple of people, and took his mask off and started talking.

    #IFUCKINGLUVSCIENCE!

    • TARDis

      Those are gold.

    • hayeksplosives

      Holy shit. That upps the ante a bit!

  54. KSuellington

    I see that the Dems are now making their push to get DC statehood. I’d love to see the Republicans agree, on the condition that at the same time the State of Jefferson is admitted as well.

    • leon

      That expressly goes against the whole point of making DC a state, which is to change the composition of the Senate.

  55. juris imprudent

    When is Noem going to come out as a Boehner Republican?

    This is quite disappointing. Her own little fucking clique of stick up the ass, damn the public, we know what’s best officialdom.

    Two law enforcement officers, Highway Patrol Superintendent Col. Rick Miller and Pennington County Sheriff Kevin Thom, sued to block legalization by challenging its constitutionality. Miller was effectively acting on behalf of South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem, who had opposed the effort to legalize pot.

    Klinger was appointed as a circuit court judge by Noem in 2019.

    • leon

      Klinger was appointed as a circuit court judge by Noem in 2019.

      Hey she’s wiling to appoint an unrepentant cross dresser as a judge, so she’s got those libertarian bona fides.

      • hayeksplosives

        im glad im not the only one who immediately went there in my mind.

  56. juris imprudent

    Goddam if only Senator Stupid had been there to disarm her himself, single-handedly and unarmed. I’m sure he could have bored her to tears.

    • leon

      This feels like when the Dems refused to condemn and expressly pushed the Riots over the summer, only to then realize what a mistake it was.

      We’ll see.

      • rhywun

        Dems don’t make mistakes. Just ask any one of them.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Mistake how? Seems to have worked out just fine for them.