IFLA: The “Could be a Lot Worse”Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of May 23

by | May 23, 2021 | IFLA | 115 comments

Mars and Jupiter remain locked in alignment, but on Monday we get the Earth and Moon in opposition.  While this can mean a few different things, the best advice is to avoid contact with armed government employees.  I mean, that’s good advice in general, but Monday is a particularly inauspicious day for such an interaction.  By Friday those latter two will have moved into a different alignment, this time with Venus.  This interaction is particularly strong since Friday is the day ruled by Venus, so if you’re living with someone who’s sexually compatible with you, take a shot then.  Wearing green and copper are supposed to help here, but I don’t have enough evidence that it works to recommend it.

Taurus closes out its time in the sun bereft of any other planets.  No respect.  Instead, Gemini, that two-faced rat bastard has poached Mercury and Venus and is just waiting to add the sun to its collection.  Most of the rest are the same as last week — Jupiter in Pisces, Mars in Cancer, and Saturn is in Aquarius.  That last one I should probably talk about.  Saturn has gone retrograde.  We don’t typically make a huge deal out of Saturn retrograde, since Saturn is such a bad sign anyway that making it worse doesn’t have all that much of an effect on its interpretation.  But it’s there.  If you break your favorite mug this week, that’s why.  One last thing to note is that the moon starts off the week in Virgo, so there will be a more feminine cast to things than is typical.

For whatever reason the cards don’t hate you this week.  It’s actually an excellent draw, full of wands and coins indicating health and prosperity.

Taurus:  King of Cups – Fair man, man of business, law, or divinity; responsible, disposed to oblige

Gemini:  2 of Swords reversed –  Imposture, falsehood, duplicity, disloyalty.

Cancer:  10 of Wands – Oppression, fortune, gain, any kind of success, and then it is the oppression of these things. False-seeming, disguise, perfidy.

Leo:  3 of Wands – Strength, enterprise, effort, trade, commerce, discovery

Virgo:  8 of Swords – Bad news, violent chagrin, crisis, censure, power in trammels, conflict, calumny, sickness

Libra:  Ace of Coins – Perfect contentment, felicity, ecstasy, speedy intelligence; gold

Scorpio:  7 of Coins – Money, business, barter, altercation, quarrels, innocence, ingenuity, purgation

Sagittarius:  Temperance – Economy, moderation, frugality, management, accommodation.  The most boring of the Major Arcana.

Capricorn:  9 of Coins – Prudence, safety, success, accomplishment, certitude, discernment.

Aquarius:  8 of Wands –  Activity in undertakings, swiftness, great haste, great hope,

Pisces:  Two of Wands – Riches, fortune, magnificence, physical suffering, disease, chagrin, sadness, mortification.

Aries: King of Wands – Dark man, friendly, countryman, generally married, honest and conscientious.

 

 

About The Author

Not Adahn

Not Adahn

Despite all my rage, I am still just an impeccably dressed rat.

115 Comments

  1. PieInTheSky

    Cancer: 10 of Wands – Oppression, fortune, gain, any kind of success, and then it is the oppression of these things. False-seeming, disguise, perfidy. -n I am starting to think these are not particularly helpful for my day to day life

  2. Ownbestenemy

    Sagittarius: Temperance – Economy, moderation, frugality, management, accommodation. The most boring of the Major Arcana.

    That sounds like the cards hate me.

  3. The Late P Brooks

    Sagittarius: Temperance – Economy, moderation, frugality, management, accommodation. The most boring of the Major Arcana.

    Don’t eat your chickens before they’re cashed.

    I’ll take it.

    • Not Adahn

      Caching chickens is some hardcore prepping. Respect.

      • Q Continuum

        “…then she asked me if I’d cache her chickens.”
        “Damn, girl’s a freak.”

      • Fourscore

        “Two forms of picture ID, wearing a mask, then we can cache your chicks”

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        ? ? ?

      • Tres Cool

        “cache me outside…howbowdah”

        (I cant believe nobody did that one)

      • blackjack

        I was gonna, but I chickened out.

      • juris imprudent

        I’m not even going to make a peep in this thread.

      • zwak

        Toxie*, I noticed you mentioned Sophie Scholl in the last thread, which is funny as I was thinking that the Masked feel they are the White Rose lately.

        *hope its ok to call you that.

  4. Gender Traitor

    …altercation, quarrels…

    But my boss is on vacation next week, so who…?

    Uh oh.

    • blackjack

      If you want somebody to argue with, I have discerned that my degree of certitude will make me the winner.

      • UnCivilServant

        So what you’re saying is, the facts are not on your side.

      • Suthenboy

        heh.

      • blackjack

        When you have the facts, hit them hard, when you don’t, hit the podium hard.

    • Surly Knott

      Paging The Hyperbole. Mr. The Hyperbole to the red argument phone please.

  5. Suthenboy

    “Money, business, barter, altercation, quarrels,”

    Accurate. We still have blue laws here….cant buy liquor until noon. What the hell? I have a bit under an hour until I can buy vodka.

    • Fourscore

      Prior planning…

    • UnCivilServant

      Looks a little too red. Did they dip it in dye twice?

      • Sean

        From dry brining overnight. Makes for a great sear.

    • Suthenboy

      Finally…a 1911. Nice.

      • Sean

        ?

      • Q Continuum

        What’s your opinion on Kimber? I have two and I adore them but they seem to be polarizing for some reason.

      • Sean

        My Micro 9 is a gem. I’d give one of their full sizes a try if one caught my eye.

  6. Q Continuum

    The Left be like:

    We’re not anti-Semitic, we just want icky MENA Jooz to have no ability to defend themselves and no safe place to live.

    • Suthenboy

      Are they still pretending they aren’t flaming bigots that hate Jooz and anyone not of their same skin color? I thought they dropped all of the pretenses.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Take it up with Lord Balfour.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Or FDR, for that matter.

    • kbolino

      The single biggest oppressor of the Palestinians is their own leadership. Whether it be Hamas, Fatah, the PLO, or any offshoot/remnant/replacement thereof, they are always first and foremost concerned with revanchist claims to the land that is now Israel. Every other concern, including food, clothing, shelter, healthcare, education, infrastructure, and really civilization itself, is secondary. They have managed to piss off every single regional ally they once had: borders with Egypt and Jordan are closed to their “refugees” and have been for a while. The UN and foreign aid organizations directly contribute to this situation, propping up the lost cause losers, treating the Gaza Strip as a refugee camp (which is getting close to a century old) instead of a place where people should live normal lives, and ensuring that the terrorists are never held accountable by anyone other than the IDF.

      Israel’s actions are always reactionary here, and no latte-sipping Westerners who are oh-so-concerned about the plight of the Palestinians seem to spend much time on proactive solutions like killing or imprisoning the terrorists and countering the revanchist narrative.

      • Chafed

        This guy gets it.

      • Gustave Lytton

        And Israel’s allies/friendly nations who demand pulled punches to prevent “escalation” because thirty four years of low level violence is better than six days of war.

      • blackjack

        As a mechanic, we have a saying. If you have a problem and can’t find the source, make it worse. People will get used to a pebble in their shoe and live in discomfort forever. Sharpen it and they’ll fish it out in no time.

      • Fourscore

        Muffler bearings wear out quickly, can you leave the car overnight?

      • kbolino

        Seen on Malice’s Twitter feed (paraphrased): “Better to be a Hamas supporter than an Irgun supporter”

    • Drake

      I’ve been reading Chronicles and Jeremiah – I think God and His prophets were anti-Semitic. They sure spent a lot of time complaining about the Jews then punishing them.

    • limey

      Have you seen Poles working the girl?

    • Fourscore

      No driver shortage in CO.

    • Q Continuum

      Other prisoners are not real fond of child abusers. At least that’s what I’ve heard.

      • BakedPenguin

        Considering the life histories of a lot of people currently in prison, I wouldn’t be surprised.

    • kbolino

      “Our school community is experiencing a very unfortunate situation. We have had a bus driver strike a child over the child not wearing a mask on the bus,” the district told Fox News in a statement. “We believe it is never okay to lay a hand on a child.”

      “Local police were involved during the investigation as well as us being in contact with the child’s family,” the district added. “The driver’s action justified termination of employment, as it goes against District policy and our values. We are very saddened by this incident.”

      The NPC is strong with this response

    • blackjack

      My kid would kick that driver’s ass, even at 8 y/o. And I’d support him for doing it.

  7. westernsloper

    For whatever reason the cards don’t hate you this week.

    Gemini: 2 of Swords reversed – Imposture, falsehood, duplicity, disloyalty.

    WTF?

    • Chafed

      Count Potato happiest of all.

  8. The Late P Brooks

    Tough titties, Karen

    The Maine music store chain Bull Moose abruptly closed its store in Salem, New Hampshire, on Friday, and the company and its employees are at odds over what happened.

    Employees said Saturday that the company fired all the staffers at the Salem store and closed it after they protested Bull Moose’s decision to allow customers to stop wearing face coverings. In a statement, however, Bull Moose said the closure had “absolutely nothing” to do with masks. A company spokesman said he could not confirm that the workers in Salem had been fired, though the statement referred to them as “former employees.”

    ——-

    Employees at the Salem store and other Bull Moose locations told the Portland Press Herald/Maine Sunday Telegram that dissatisfaction has been simmering across the chain over management’s handling of pandemic-era precautions.

    William Boisvert, one of the employees who lost his job at the store in Salem, said he and his co-workers learned on Thursday that Bull Moose was dropping its mask mandate for fully vaccinated people. At the same time, they were told they could not ask customers for proof of vaccinations. That upset the staff, Boisvert said.

    “We have had people fighting us on the mask policy since the beginning, and those people who have been fighting us since the beginning probably haven’t been vaccinated and would probably lie about being vaccinated and come in and spread COVID to us and other customers,” he said in a phone interview Saturday.

    You’re better off staying home hiding under your bed, you weepy little blossom.

    • kbolino

      If you are vaccinated and they are not, what is the problem?

      If you aren’t vaccinated, why should you be forcing others to be?

      • rhywun

        For spite.

      • Sensei

        And the adrenaline rush you get when somebody submits to your will.

      • hayeksplosives

        This is the “correct” answer. Sigh.

    • blackjack

      How will anyone even know if they have the ‘vid if they don’t get tested? It’s not like they’ll get really sick or anything.

  9. The Late P Brooks

    Boisvert, one of the workers in Salem who lost his job, said the blowup over the mask issue was a culmination of tensions and stemmed from a general feeling that employees lacked any power or authority over their jobs. “We have had no input,” Boisvert said. “I love Bull Moose – I love the stores. But this is unacceptable.”

    Boo fucking hoo.

    Open your own music store.

    • Urthona

      Yup. they have complete “power” over their jobs and may leave at any time.

      • blackjack

        The stock clerk should absolutely be able to dictate policy to the owners.

      • Fourscore

        Sure, we were losing money on every sale but we could make it up with more employees and higher wages and a higher volume..

      • blackjack

        To be fair, some music sounds better at a higher volume. Also, many music store clerks can’t really get any higher.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Quality right here…just quality.

    • kbolino

      Open your own music store.

      Or don’t, since the damn stuff can be had in perfect quality for a lot cheaper through the Internet. At least Starbucks makes something you can’t download.

  10. The Late P Brooks

    Or don’t, since the damn stuff can be had in perfect quality for a lot cheaper through the Internet. At least Starbucks makes something you can’t download.

    Small regional chain in a dying industry, with employees who will apparently do anything they can to discourage traffic in the store, closes a location.

    Inexplicable!

    Somebody call the Harvard Business Review.

    • zwak

      “But I thought we revoked the law of unintended consequences when we got Biden as president?”

  11. Chafed

    “Sagittarius: Temperance – Economy, moderation, frugality, management, accommodation. The most boring of the Major Arcana.” The way things have been going, I would love a stretch of boredom.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    How will anyone even know if they have the ‘vid if they don’t get tested? It’s not like they’ll get really sick or anything.

    What? A single sneeze from an asymptomatic carrier will kill everyone in a five mile radius!

  13. Mojeaux

    Okay, well, that’s over with. For our next trick, we will get her moved into her own place. At some point. Maybe.

    • westernsloper

      No big graduation party?

      • Fourscore

        After XX has found her own place there’ll be a big but quiet party Chez Mojo.

      • Mojeaux

        I don’t do parties at my house. Gotta be at a restaurant.

      • Mojeaux

        Quiet dinner at her fave restaurant this week. She has to work today.

      • The Hyperbole

        For getting through high school? Talk about participation trophies.

        “Hey kid, you just did the easiest fucking thing in the world, something 99.9% of your peers do, so you get a big old party and all your relatives are going to give you cash” what a scam.

      • Mojeaux

        Suffice it to say that it was far from easy for her.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Let us know eventually what “own place” will entail, if she would like advice.

        You all must be pooped.

      • Mojeaux

        Yes. Yes, we are. LOL

        As for own place, she’s going to work full time to save up some cash and otherwise chill. She spent most of what she had on her car so it’ll take her some time to build up her reserves again.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        “Jointly and severally”… Studios can be lonely though.

        Anyway, y’all have ample time to think about it, and again, congratulations twice.

      • blackjack

        As a .1%er, I had a number of parties just ’cause I didn’t have to go anymore.

      • westernsloper

        You must be a hoot at parties.

      • Ted S.

        He’s a star at rainbow parties.

    • Fourscore

      We and I’m guessing most of you get graduation reminders and baby shower invites from neighbors, long forgotten relatives and co-workers. Kids that you don’t know, have rarely or ever seen and you will quickly forget. A fishing expedition, casting the net and hope something is caught. We’ve had a number over the years, just easy to get a card and throw a check in the mail and forget about it.

      Sometimes we receive a thank you note, sometimes not. This includes my own own family, in some cases, but mostly at least get an email thank you. This seems to be the norm, not even an E-card. We will keep doing it, I guess, the plight of grandparents/old people.

      • Mojeaux

        XX: Why do I have to send out announcements?

        Me: So you get money.

        XX: They send money?!

        Me: Yes. That’s how it works. I’ve sent a whole lot of people whom I barely know money. Now it’s your turn. Also, these are the thank you notes. Write them. Now.

        Mercenary conversation, but I was in a rush.

  14. Tundra

    Leo: 3 of Wands – Strength, enterprise, effort, trade, commerce, discovery

    Boom. I’ll take it.

    In other news, Malice’s new book is killing it.

    I just ordered my copy. It cracks me up that a book about anarchy is the number one political book on Amazon. Fuck yeah.

  15. Fourscore

    We got our bees 2 weeks ago, for some unknown reason 1 hive died immediately (like with a day or two). We contemplated what to do. Well, yesterday my partner showed up with a Nuc (nucleus, a smaller package with a queen and lotsa of bees) and installed it right away. We gave them their own jar of honey and they moved in immediately and today are enjoying their new home.

    All is well…At least for now…

    • Not Adahn

      Oh good. I guess the last batch didn’t leave their plague behind.

      • Q Continuum

        KOLONEE KULLAPS

      • Fourscore

        Yeah, we’re thinking something traumatic, like asphyxiation from a fork lift exhaust idling nearby for an extended period or heat through a window. We’ve lost colonies before but we could pinpoint the problem and usually weeks/months into the season. This was totally without precedence and the internet didn’t offer much help.

        Anyway, we are back on track

    • blackjack

      “Let there be no mistake: This despicable and cowardly act of gun violence only steals our commitment to ensuring New Jersey leads the nation in passing and enforcing strong and commonsense gun safety laws,” he said. “No community should ever experience what occurred last night in Fairfield.”

      What a fucking douchebag. I know, let’s make this terrible act even more illegal and if we can let’s put a bunch of people who would never do such a thing in prison too! It’ll be fun.

      • Sensei

        That’s sounds right.

    • Drake

      Are we even allowed to have parties in NJ? I haven’t been paying attention.

      • Sensei

        Yes, our dear leader relaxed the outdoor gathering restrictions. So what you are saying is that this is Murphy’s fault. I like it…

  16. juris imprudent

    generally married???

    I always thought that was a rather specific condition.

    • hayeksplosives

      I too wondered what that means. I can think of only one “dark, friendly” man in my sphere, and he is married.

      Maybe “generally married” means he could be available if the incentives are sufficient and he thinks he could get away with it?

      I don’t intend to find out.

  17. BakedPenguin

    Leo: 3 of Wands – Strength, enterprise, effort, trade, commerce, discovery

    Hmmm… I might want to hurry up with the job search.

    In a more science-y vein Sky News Australia presenter (I think his name is John Ford) interviews a Swedish expert on sea-levels. The
    Swedish scientist was on the IPCC, although I don’t think they’re going to be asking him for any quotes after this.

    • BakedPenguin

      *note – I believe he’s still technically on the IPCC, but I could see ‘colleagues’ turning the other way when they see him walking down the hall.*

    • hayeksplosives

      Way to go, Notre Dame! Stick to your (unregistered) guns!

    • The Gunslinger

      White House says ‘scheduling conflict’.

  18. zwak

    “Activity in undertakings, swiftness, great haste, great hope”

    Well, I am putting in a water line for the fridge, which is turning into a serious PITA as the wife insisted it be in the one difficult place to run the line.

  19. Not Adahn

    26 T posts and a gate installed.

    The first batch of posts I ordered online from Home Depot — free delivery. They were pristine. I needed some more, but they no longer had free delivery. So I went and picked them up. Much worse shape.

  20. Raven Nation

    “Pisces: Two of Wands – Riches, fortune, magnificence, physical suffering, disease, chagrin, sadness, mortification.”

    In that order? ‘Cause, you know, the reverse order would be OK.

    • Not Adahn

      Riches > Fortune > Magnificence > That one hooker who slipped through the disease screening > physical suffering > disease > chagrin > sadness>mortification

  21. robc

    Went to a birthday party for a 5 year old at a Sky Zone trampoline park.

    100% mask rate, as not a single person was wearing one. Both birthday party (30 kids+ parents) and just regular people at the place.

    • Sean

    • blackjack

      Man! I bet those runners were dying to finish, too.

      • Tres Cool

        No doubt they ran down a dead-end

  22. egould310

    Been marinating a chicken in white wine, evoo, onion, garlic, lemon, smoked paprika, and bay leaf. Just gonna roast it. Served with a spinach salad; hard boiled egg, bacon, cheddar, corn, home made ranch dressing. Simple, keto, delicious.

    • Sean

      Yummy. Except the hard boiled egg. I don’t eat those.

      • Tres Cool

        I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.
        Im waiting to see which comes 1st.

  23. Sensei

    Paging Q to the white courtesy phone…

    Yearbook Photos of Girls Were Altered to Hide Their Chests

    Parents and students said they were outraged that photos of at least 80 female students at Bartram Trail High School in St. Johns County, Fla., had been digitally edited.

  24. R.J.

    …And it is behind a paywall. Darn.