“Oh my gawd, look at Eliot Page, so hot,” Seresto said. The walls were sweating in the concrete box that was their workroom
“So, so hot,” Kaylieburrow said. “I’d let him coom in my hair.”
“Coom?” Seresto said absently.
“Coom. Did you read this month’s issue of Teen Vogue?”
“Whatever, it’s still gross.”
“Don’t yuk my yum, bitch,” Kaylieburrow laughed and poked the other girl with her elbow.
“Do your abs look like this?” Seresto asked Asterix and then grabbed at her blouse, trying to pull it up.
“Do you have those sexy pecs?” Kaylieburrow asked, pawing at Astrix’s bound breasts.
“Stop touching me,” Asterix said, defensively covered her chest and stomach. “I’m not on hormones and I’m not going to have a double mastectomy.” She ran her hand over the stubble she had left on her head and sighed.
“Should we retweet this on Kammy’s account?” Kaylieborrow asked, waving the Eliot Page pic on her phone.
“We better check with her,” Seresto said, “She’s not usually a fan of skinny white boys.”
“But he’s so brave,” Kaylieburrow said, pouting, a little blood on the edge of her mouth.
“Thirsty bitch,” Seresto said.
“I need to go outside,” Asterix said, standing abruptly, “I need fresh air and sunlight, I need green grass and blue sky.”
“So you need that Vitamin D?” Seresto asked maliciously.
“Yeah, you need that D?” Kaylieburrow asked, her laugh like cardboard tearing, Seresto joining her in a horsey guffaw.
“I didn’t even know you were gay,” Seresto said. “We could have thrown you a coming-out party.”
“And a gender-reveal party!” Kaylieburrow squealed. “BOOM!”
“Gay guys are so hot,” Seresto said.
“So hot,” Kaylieburrow agreed and shivered.
“I want to marry a gay guy,” Seresto said.
“A gay guy would make the best husband,” Kaylieburrow said dreamily.
“We should go to a gay bar this weekend,” Seresto said eagerly.
“Only bi guys ever hit on me,” Kaylieburrow said, cranking her pout and petulance.
“A bi guy is only half gay, so, like, would only be a half-good husband,” Seresto said wisely. “Might a well marry a straight guy for all that.”
“No, thank you. Straight guys are the worst. Unless they used to be women, at least.”
Asterix, still standing, felt inside like she was falling like she could see the ground rushing toward her; she swayed and barely caught herself from falling over.
“Eat some lunch, you skinny bitch,” Seresto said, not looking up from her phone.
“What if he’s anorexic?” Kaylieburrow asked excitedly. “Insta would go crazy for an ana trans masc they/themder!”
Seresto took a series of pictures quick of Asterix in them’s sway–half-lidded eyes, skinny limbs, sallow and weak.
“Profile pic!” the girls crowed.
In the Choose Your Own Adventure Kammie surely was into “skinny white boys.” when I ventured into her office.
They don’t really know her at all.
And then you were eaten by a prehensile pseudo-penis with teeth.
Spoiler, that’s the end of every adventure.
Dammit. There’s a closer > missing.
I got you, bro.
Thank you, Sir! (YBF)
Thanks to some big fairy, I now look foolish.
Just going to softball them in there like that, huh Bob?
I got to give someone else a chance.
Dirty or skinny?
Foreigner – Dirty White Boy (Official Music Video)
Meds for everybody!
I picked the wrong life to be straight in, I guess.
Only if you have that “dying to be cool” gene – which I would guess we both lack. I’d much rather be me than whatever it is they consider to be cool.
Funny because it’s true.
I tried running:
“Insta would go crazy for an ana trans masc they/themder!”
through Google Translate. I got nothing back.
I believe I can translate:
Insta – Instagram
ana – anorexic
masc – masculine
they/themder – pronounish
You can play Barbara Billingsley in the new Airplane remake.
Yup. Anorexic non-binary who leans toward masculine appearance and dress.
Oh I got that – I just wanted to see what the AI would make of it.
You went on a list somewhere, you know.
Again?!
Could we possibly get back to the disgusting perverted sex, rather than the disgusting perverted non-sex?
It reminds me of Sir Terry’s comment on the wizards of Unseen University – “They don’t so much use magic, as not use it in a dynamic way…”
RIP Ellen Page.
So, do all the movies they made in the past need to be removed from the market and re-edited because they dead name they and are a hate crime?
Well, they will get their narrative now with Juno and prove that a man can get pregnant. Its right there on TV! It must be true!
And he pregnant from that girl from superbad!
I laughed…a lot
Does that make Michael Cera’s character gay?
Very. He was simping a boy.
Wasn’t that already established in Superbad?
Now when they are singing together at the end of it I always imagine that J.K. Simmons is going to poke his head out the door, throw the hamburger telephone at her and scream “Not my fucking tempo Junebug!!!!!!!”
Schwarzenegger already did it.
I forgot about that movie…for good reasons.
So… is Hard Candy more or less problematic now that it deals with a pedophile man chasing down a young boy instead of a girl?
In the open yes, but behind closed doors in the local DC pizza parlor they are salivating. #NOTQANON
boys being raped is A-OK, see priest jokes.
Timothee Chalamet can be in the remake, considering he’s in every other fucking movie ever right now.
Is that… a dude?
I guess.
He’s been cast in 13 medium to major movies since 2017. Including another remake of Willy Wonka as Willy Wonka.
No, wait, it’s a prequal to Will Wonka that the world has been crying out for.
It will explore how he came to enslave the Oompa-Loompas. (Not a joke.)
I’d rather watch a Dick Slashballs movie.
It will explore how he came to enslave the Oompa-Loompas. (Not a joke.)
But that’s the good kind of slavery because orange men bad.
Ha! That would be hilarious if they made the latest version of Loompas be orange and have blonde comb-overs and turn their little songs into rambling hyperbole.
We’re going to need a full time org to keep up with these changes. And only government is big enough to get it right. Something like a Dept of Truth.
I assume they will deepfake the roles in a few years. All her/his hetero romances are homoromances, all her homoromances become cishetshitlordromances.
The ones they can’t fix digitally will just have Anna Paquin super-imposed and exclusively rerecording the dialogue using that shitgarbage accent from True Blood.
“We should go to a gay bar this weekend,”
They do make the best drinks.
And for real usually have great appetizers too.
Yes, but there’s a shortage (at least for one subset):
There Are Just 21 Lesbian Bars Left in the US, and Some Won’t Reopen
Old and busted: A formerly shunned subculture has become widely accepted and they don’t need to hide away anymore. Let’s celebrate!
New hotness: Our precious underground culture is being destroyed! That’s Not OK!
Another great SF story. I cringed, grateful that I’d had breakfast early and no lunch yet. Waiting for the illustrated Classic Comics edition.
I’m not touching this stuff with my 10 foot pole.
You may not be touching it, but it is touching you.
…her laugh like cardboard tearing,…
How do you do it?
Amazing.
Dark arts.
Ilhan Omar: ‘Antisemitism Wouldn’t Be A Problem If We Got Rid Of All The Jews’
Psaki Says Biden Is So Incredibly Fit He Has Achieved Resting Heart Rate Of Zero
“President Biden has achieved 0 BPM!”
Envy of North Korea
Hamas Calls For An Israeli ‘Cease-To-Exist-Fire’
Lori Lightfoot Flees In Terror After Thomas Sowell Takes Her Up On Offer For Black People To Interview Her
I honestly never heard of this person before she got the trans-PR machine in high gear. But when this pic dropped, my first thought was, “Those abs are implants.”
You didn’t watch The Umbrella Academy? Xey play #7. I wonder if Xey are going to play S3 in drag or if Netflix is going to engage in femicide and genderswap the character.
I hadn’t heard of her/him either but when I saw the picture I thought Karen Carpenter had been resurrected
Yup, of course. The body doesn’t match the abs. A cut woman wouldn’t have such a pudgy face, and a cut man wouldn’t have such spindly arms.
It’s like those crazy assholes who inject their biceps with synthol to inflame their muscles.
https://www.muscleandfitness.com/features/newsstand/5-synthol-freaks-who-went-way-too-far/
Really, would have thought her work was right in your wheelhouse.
Am I misremembering, or weren’t them banging a cisdude from the very beginning?
Exactly why them would be gay now, do keep up!
The body doesn’t match the abs. A cut woman wouldn’t have such a pudgy face, and a cut man wouldn’t have such spindly arms.
“Assembled from random spare parts found lying around.”
A golem of sorts? So it IS the Jews….
What depresses me most about SF’s stories is how accurate they are, even without footnotes. I have no desire to check up on whatever “coom” is. And that’s just the opening.
Per the UD, definition #4, coom ==”To coom is to masturbate so much in a short time period, you are unable to ejaculate. Either that or your cum turns into water.”
Which might seem appropriate for the ‘testicularly challenged’.
https://news.yahoo.com/cdc-director-cautions-americans-ahead-080019792.html
“William Shakespeare, the elderly Englishman who made news around the world as the first man to receive an authorized coronavirus vaccination, has died of a stroke unrelated to the virus or the vaccine, authorities in Britain said.”
K…
Didn’t he just die, like hours ago? HTF did they already determine “unrelated”?
Because otherwise it would endanger the narrative.
So it was unrelated, pleb.
All deaths are COVID unless you are vaccinated then they are coincidental. They have spun that since December.
OBE speaks the gospel of St. Fauci, let they be praised.
FYTW
USA TODAY
William Shakespeare, first man to get vaccinated
Shakespeare, 81, was the second person to be vaccinated
Which is it? First or second? Geesh.
Oh first MAN. I hate the media.
Destroying the whole world so he could live few months more was well worth it, or the vaxx killdem ant we don need it!
Everyone is stupid. It’s like watching 2yr olds run everything.
A true hero!
“our lovely friend Bill would never have dreamt his passing would make the New York Times.”
Why would you even say that?
Because, now they made it! They is famous! ( I don’t want to assume gender, I’m not a bigot like they’s ‘friend’, who should now be charged with a hate crime)
“Them is famous,” you bigot.
q.v.: “demis trux”
Sewatis inem?
causam dux!
I was going to quote Hamlet about ‘death being not worth a pin’s fee’, but since they say it had nothing to do with the vaccine…
“Honor is a fool’s prize. Glory is of no use to the dead.”
–Darth Bane
How about Henry the IV?
“The sickness doth infect
The very life blood of our enterprise”
Isn’t the vaccine tied to blood clotting. What exactly is a stroke again?
https://www.cdc.gov/stroke/types_of_stroke.htm
“Ischemic Stroke
Most strokes (87%) are ischemic strokes.1 An ischemic stroke happens when blood flow through the artery that supplies oxygen-rich blood to the brain becomes blocked.
Blood clots often cause the blockages that lead to ischemic strokes.”
—–
GAH! When will they stop?!?!?!
More specifically, the S protein is tied to blood clots and vascular damage. The mRNA vaccines temporarily turn your cells into S protein factories.
Elephant? What elephant?
https://www.statnews.com/2021/04/13/researchers-search-for-answers-in-puzzle-of-blood-clots-and-covid-vaccines-and-see-some-clues/
““If you look at those reports of blood clots with thrombocytopenia for those other vaccines and then compare them to the background rate we would expect to see, they are not raised,” Peter Arlett, the European Medicines Agency’s head of pharmacovigilance, said at an April 7 press conference.
He gave somewhat mismatched figures — cases of clots worldwide, along with the number of people who received vaccine only in Europe. Still, he said there were 35 cases of serious blood clots with the vaccine made by Pfizer/BioNTech among 54 million doses given; five cases with the Moderna vaccine among 4 million Europeans dosed; and three cases, later updated to four, of blood clots with low platelet counts among 4.5 million people doses — apparently worldwide — with the vaccine developed by Johnson & Johnson. That is the number the U.S. appears to have updated to six cases out of 6.8 million doses.
By contrast, he said, there were 169 cases of cerebral venous sinus thrombosis, and another 53 similar clots in a blood vessel draining the abdomen, among 34 million people.”
Here we go with coincidences again.
I’d have to guess the numbers aren’t available to simply show blood clot rates in those vaccinated v those not, from the time the vaccinations began… ?
Which I don’t expect anyone to have right off hand. I get that there are risks to the vaccine and the odds are that those risks are probably worth the reward or most people. What I’m pissed about is the blatant propaganda around the vaccines, ALL OF THEM. No sane person should think that something created in such a short time with not nearly as many trials as normal is going to be perfect and carry no consequences…
Yet here we are. Don’t you dare say anything other than what the talking points are.
Beginning with Ozy’s story and continuing with the ‘vid, I have been trying to learn more about vaccines in general.
What I’ve learned is that I feel like a fucking chump for following my pediatrician’s advice and I’m increasingly sympathetic to the ‘anti-vaxxers’.
^^^ Nothing to add to that.
^^ piling on in support
Dr. Drew believes the vaccines reduce transmission. I hope he’s right. I am more interested in Adam anyway.
I look at it this way: Government pushed to create these vaccines, giving full immunity (from my understanding) of liability towards the companies that make them, then royally screws up its messaging which just adds to the confusion of if they even work at all and if they don’t, still going to push them on people, and then claim anything or anyone that questions it, even mildly, must be shoved from the public square. Also, for a year or longer you yell at us and treat us as children that cannot assess their own risks then turn around and say accept this risk?
I mean, what in that screams this is safe?
I blame this on at this point what is likely 20 years of scientists and medical doctors destroying their credibility by jumping into politics.
Even if they are correct in this case, why trust them at this point.
Ms Page is just getting ready to play Dieter Dengler in the remake of Rescue Dawn.
Or Dirk Diggler in the remake of this classic.
They might have a use for a certain prosthetic from the original.
I was thinking a mashup of Diedrich Bader and Dirk Diggler
You no mash Drew Carey alums wit porn!
I hear he is lovely to work with.
Headline: “Biden Demands ‘Definitive’ Intel Report on Coronavirus Origin”
I wish the press would start replacing “Biden” with “White House Figurehead” or something similarly more truthful. I can’t for the life of me believe that fool has any initiative whatsoever, and their pretending that he does is an insult to readers. So-called conservative news outlets should be relentless in making this clear.
So his State Department axes the investigation that started under Trump only to turn around and demand an investigation. All the while, the media goes along with and looks at each other and laughs.
‘Joe Biden: White House Senior runway model.’
“But he’s so brave,” Kaylieburrow said, pouting, a little blood on the edge of her mouth.
“Thirsty bitch,” Seresto said.
I think I missed something.
Asterix reminds me of people in slasher flicks who should know better than to go in there.
Just an emotional vampire / literal vampire inversion.
“Thirsty” is millennial slang for “horny.”
I thought it meant “fame-hungry”.
Well, yes. It basically means “wanting” or “acquisitive” in a generic sense.
So in this context, horny. And it is able to replace “fame-whore / attention-whore,” as well. And it started out as a mild insult and now seems mostly value-neutral.
¿los dos? ?♂️ ?♀️
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0079489
“Come back, black chicken!”
Ahh, got it.
“Thirsty” is millennial slang for “horny.”
Damn, this new generation is some special sort of fucked up.
I remember back in simpler times when that just meant ‘get me a beer, serving wench’.
I can’t even keep it straight anymore. I think we need a SF bio on each of the 3 brave wokesters of the Office Kammy.
“In many ways, you could argue it would be unethical not to do it.”
Studying embryos as they develop beyond 14 days could help scientists solve many medical problems, including infertility, miscarriages and birth defects, Lovell-Badge and others argue.
“There’s very good reasons for doing this research. And people shouldn’t be scared about it if there are robust mechanisms of review and oversight,” Lovell-Badge says.
As always — The Ends Justify The Means.
Holmes concluded his argument by declaring that “Three generations of imbeciles are enough”.
The 731st winner of the Mengler Prize for Bioethics.
The job of an ethicist is to come up with rationalizations for things normal human beings would find morally repugnant.
Or on the other hand, find arguments against allowing people to do things that seem completely normal and even beneficial.
Who would have thought that a WHO lead global program to procure vaccines would turn into mess?
Why a Grand Plan to Vaccinate the World Against Covid Unraveled
Meanwhile doses are getting thrown away here because of the predictable inability to forecast demand.
I have to ask. Is it just me…
The Dumbest Op Ed of the year by NYT
Just how fucking dumb would it have to be? I Mean, every time Friedman or Bruni crank out some new bullshit, it is mind numbingly fucking stupid. Just like the recent one by Friedman on the conflict between Israel and Hamas. I’m not even linking to it, it’s too stupid to accept a link.
Just imagine working in an office sharing a space with Friedman, Bruni, and Krugman. I can’t even.
I wonder how the NYT et al would react if the following statement was turned back on them:
Our newspaper infrastructure — old, legacy media in particular, and their internet presence as well — is “increasingly unreliable” and “dominated by a very small group of very profitable companies.”
Well, the writers at NYT are good with that since they believe they’re part of “a very small group of very profitable companies.”
Their understanding of economics might just bite off their ass, though.
When you have the chance you should tidy up that pile of drugs between your ankles.
Ease up on Tom. No foreign travel means he can’t use his cab driver straw man to deliver his best lines.
“Dr. Fauci Admits To Funding Bat Virus Research At Wuhan Lab, Says NIH Funneled $600K Over 5 Years”
https://www.oann.com/dr-fauci-admits-to-funding-bat-virus-research-at-wuhan-lab-says-nih-funneled-600k-over-5-years/
For funssies, the Repubs should circle the wagon and defend him
“Oh, the WuHAN LAB. I thought you asked if we funded the Wu-Tang Clan.”/Fauci
[Narrator: They funded them, too.]
Wu Tang is for the children!!!!
Ko nichi wa, Bitches!
So, which part was perjury?