Thursday Afternoon Links of SPonsored Content

by | May 20, 2021 | Daily Links | 553 comments

While browsing for news articles to include today, I realized they are all stupid and all basically a variation on maybe two themes. So, why not share instead some of the “SPonsored Content” that is served up alongside? At least some of this has the potential to be mildly amusing instead of simply rage-inducing. Maybe.

 

Ready? Let’s go.

SugarFree hardest hit.

Mothers always know best.

Who cares?

Playa Manhattan hardest hit

 

Bonus!

 

 

 

 

Big changes happening fast in the OMWC/SP household, so no time to tarry. Have a great rest of your day, kids!

About The Author

SP

SP

I've got an idea! How about we just stick to the Constitution as written and then the government can leave me the fuck alone.

553 Comments

  1. Count Potato

    “The COVID-19 pandemic has left many American families without jobs, child care, and in-person schooling, and those new burdens have landed mainly on the shoulders of women.”

    Women and children hardest hit?

    • Count Potato

      Also, it was the lockdowns not the virus that left many American families without jobs, child care, and in-person schooling.

  2. Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

    For some reason that picture makes me think of Steve Smith.

    • Bobarian LMD

      STEVE PUT LOTS OF HIKER IN WHEELCHAIR.

  3. LCDR_Fish

    A week after the SECDEF memo and 3 days after the NAVADMIN, mask mandate finally lifted at work and the base gym for “vaccinated” individuals.

  4. Scruffy Nerfherder

    “Mixed-ish” was a show? Black-ish wasn’t quite racist enough?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      And I refuse to believe there’s an audience for “The Handmaid’s Tale” other than cat ladies.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        *eyes dart around chat*

    • Count Potato

      Apparently, it was a spin-off. They could have kept going until the got to White-ish.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        A story of privilege and cake.

      • Gustave Lytton

        That was Young Marie Antoinette.

      • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

        They could have kept going until they got to White-ish.

        Or “Jew-ish,” I guess.

  5. Rebel Scum

    I’m pretty sure the real petri dish is on your face.

    “They are selfishly an endangerment to other people, including staff people here,” Pelosi said Thursday of her colleagues who haven’t been vaccinated. “It is unfortunate that a large number of people in the Congress have refused to be vaccinated. … Until they are vaccinated, we cannot have meetings without masks.”

    “We have a responsibility to make sure the House of Representatives’ chamber is not a petri dish,” she added during her weekly press conference at the Capitol.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The House of Representatives is the world’s largest petri dish of malignant societal infections.

      • Tonio

        [Standing ovation]

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Meanwhile, @SpeakerPelosi fined me and @RepMTG and @RepBrianMast and other republicans $500 for not wearing a mask in the House chamber this week. Hypocrite! https://t.co/blVkfqYWbe— Thomas Massie (@RepThomasMassie) May 20, 2021

      • ignoreLander

        Meanwhile, @SpeakerPelosi fined me and @RepMTG and @RepBrianMast and other republicans $500

        What I don’t get is, what’s the enforcement authority for this? Why wouldn’t those reps tell The Pig to go fuck herself sideways? It speaks a lot to me about the “swamp culture”…. Even repubs are afraid to put leftists in their place, because God forbid their lifelong “cha-ching” appointments get put at risk.

      • Gadfly

        I don’t think they’ve actually paid the fines. We’ll see. Massie tweeted pictures (link) of himself throwing her letters away, so at least he’s saying “fuck off”.

      • ignoreLander

        Hadn’t seen that, good on him. It’s the classy version of ripping up the SOTU address.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      ‘Keeping Up with the Kardashians’ (Ended)

      I can’t go on without the continuing adventures of Kim K, Kendall J and their less attractive siblings.

      • The Gunslinger

        Fun Kardashian fact. One of the doctors that helped remove my tumor was on an episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians. Bruce was having trouble hearing or something so they took him to the doctor and it ended up being Dr. Rick Friedman that did my surgery. And no I’m not a regular Kardashians watcher.

  6. trshmnstr the terrible

    Mothers always know best.

    Wow, they’re bigots almost to the last. Sorry, but I question the financial advice of people who believe themselves to be perpetual victims. IME, that leads to a really unhealthy view of finances.

    That reminds me that I need to write up some more GlibFin episodes.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      How do you reconcile your love of Dave Ramsey with crypto?

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        It’s not a retirement plan for me. I’d like crypto to succeed, so I toss a few discretionary/fun budget bucks in on occasion. No different, IMO, than blowing money on a vacation to Vegas, or gambling more generally.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        I was just ribbing, I like him overall even though I don’t think he’s right on everything .

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Ah gotcha. I actually haven’t listened to him in a few years. I find the show a bit too repetitive and he’s getting really smug in his old age. Somewhere along the way he lost sight of the fact that there are millions of people who have never heard of him and have no reason to take what he says as gospel.

        We’re also dave-ish rather than Dave purists these days, now that we’re effectively out of debt. Tons of respect for his program and for the principles behind it, but we are in a position where we can take on certain levels of risk without risking the whole kit and kaboodle.

      • Gadfly

        I like him overall even though I don’t think he’s right on everything .

        Really, this could be said about most people one likes. I can’t think of a single person I think is right about everything. Other than myself, of course. 😉

  7. Rebel Scum

    I’m not sure what all the buzz is about.

    In an effort to promote World Bee Day and bring attention to the need for enhancement of bee protections, actress Angelina Jolie posed for a National Geographic photoshoot covered in bees.

    The actress can be seen with bees crawling on her as she stood perfectly still for eighteen minutes in order to capture the shot. Jolie posed for the picture in order to bring awareness to bee protection and “to a UNESCO-Guerlain program that trains women as beekeeper-entrepreneurs and protectors of native bee habitats around the world,” per National Geographic.

    Discussing the experience of taking a photo while covered in bees, Jolie said, “I’m going to sound like my Buddhist practices, but it just felt lovely to be connected to these beautiful creatures. There’s certainly a hum. You have to be really still and in your body, in the moment, which is not easy for me.”

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      She did opt for the bee-stung lips look.

      • LJW

        Damn it! Beat me to it.

    • LJW

      So that’s how she gets her lips so full!

    • Nephilium

      The weather has warmed up enough the bees are flying around, and trying to find a way into my house again. Stupid patio screen door lost a roller, so it’s just off track enough that I think that’s how they’re getting in.

    • Translucent Chum

      Classic honeypot operation.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        At least it’s just a picture so we don’t have to hear her drone on and on.

    • Tonio

      Pollinator advocates are some of the most unhinged people out there. If you thought the animal rescue people were bad…

      • Count Potato

        Pollinator advocates?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Bukkake aficionados

      • Trigger Hippie

        *looks at the Oprah/Bees!!! gif in a whole new light, retches*

      • Tonio

        Well, you can’t call them pollinators because they don’t actually pollinate. But, yeah, it’s a thing. Or at least claims to be a thing. What they really are is anti-pesticide. You can’t spray a wasp nest without them going ballistic. They go crazy about potted plants sold at the hardware store that have been treated with neonicotinoids. This is the latest fashionable, virtue-signalling cause among a certain set of people.

      • Animal

        …a certain set of people.

        Assholes?

      • Tonio

        In my experience, it’s the subset of assholes who are smug suburban women.

      • Ted S.

        Hasn’t colony collapse disorder turned out to be overblown?

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        Not just overblown.

        Basically completely false.

      • Fourscore

        I had a hive installed a few days ago, within a day or two the bees were dying en mass. In a week they were all dead. We can’t be sure what the cause was, never happened before. Almost like they were contaminated before we got them. The hive next to the dead one looked a little slow.

        The other 2 hives, several miles away, were doing well from Day 1. Unfortunately I can’t check on the myself.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Sounds like that hive was too woke. All the workers sat around identifying as the Queen and not doing anything.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Are you throwing shade at Fourscore?

        Although, having Angelina Jolie show up at the next Honey Harvest naked and covered in honey might be a good way to finally get Swissy to get off his ass and drive over for the event.

      • Fourscore

        Double mastectomy as I recall but we all have our little fetishes.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Sounds like her fetishes are completely gone if that big word “mastectomy” means what I think it does.

      • Mojeaux

        IIRC, it was a prophylactic move against breast cancer because she is in a high-risk group. (Mom died of it? Something like that.)

      • TARDis

        The idea that breasts are toxic makes me not believe in a benevolent higher power.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Also sounds like someone is too cheap to pay an appearance fee.

      • Tulip

        There’s a guy in my neighborhood that studies bugs. He raises butterflies on his closed in porch, has bee houses, plants to attract various pollinators. He’s got the talk down and never comes across as unhinged. Just interesting.

    • Hank

      “to a UNESCO-Guerlain program that trains women as beekeeper-entrepreneurs and protectors of native bee habitats around the world”

      I don’t know if this is a legitimate thing or not, but my first reaction was that it would give NPR listeners multiple orgasms.

  8. Winston

    Why do libertarians oppose mask mandates and vaccine passports? This is the new normal and libertarians are supposed to support the new normal since opposing it makes one a socon reactionary.

    • Trigger Hippie

      Citation?

      • Mojeaux

        I’m detecting sarcometer set to 11.

      • Tonio

        I smell Troll.

      • Chafed

        *high five*

      • Pope Jimbo

        It is Winston. Maybe you are just smelling his mom on him?

      • Ted S.

        If it were anybody but Winston I’d agree.

      • Translucent Chum

        TOS…I kid. I hope.

      • Swiss Servator

        It is just part of his tiresome shtick, TH.

      • Trigger Hippie

        I just never know who he’s arguing with, that’s all.

        *scrolls down to Brooksie’s comment*

        Ah.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        What do you mean? The Socratic method is completely applicable and pleasant outside the law school classroom!

      • Hank

        And why do you say that?

      • Winston

        https://www.aier.org/article/self-censorship-and-despotism-over-the-mind/

        Mill argued with great passion that societal customs and traditions could, indeed, very often be the worst tyranny of all. They were binding rules on conduct and belief that owed their force not to coercion but to their being the shared ideas of the right and proper held by the vast majority in the society. They represent what the ancient Greek Pericles referred to as “that code which, although unwritten, yet cannot be broken without acknowledged disgrace.”

        Customs and traditions weigh down on the individual, they stifle his sense and desire to be different, to experiment with the new, to creatively design ways of doing things that have not been tried before, and to break out of the confinement of conformity. Custom and tradition can be the straitjacket that restricts a person’s cry for his peaceful and nonviolent individuality.

        I kid but I am referring to the idea that things constantly evolve and change and dead men should not control the living yet the same basic liberal ideas will never be challenged and everyone will agree on inalienable rights despite liberalism and inalienable rights being old ideas. How is that supposed to work exactly? Every 20 years we through out the Bill of Rights but re-enact the same text every time?

      • Tonio

        The wheel on the mouse scrolls down and down…

      • Old Man With Candy

        I needed a laugh today.

        You delivered.

        Thank you.

      • TARDis

        Harsh. This Winston’s Mom stuff transferred over from the TDS place, right?

      • Tonio

        Yes.

      • R C Dean

        Like all things, there is a balance.

        We are now watching what happens to a culture determined to eradicate all custom and tradition. Its not pretty, and its not sustainable. Too much is stultifying, too little is destructive.

      • Winston

        There is also the part about how we need to keep the ones and not enact worse ones. Determining this and how exactly to implement it is another matter…

    • kbolino

      The foremost challenge social conservatives in the present day face is do they try to retake a government and set of elite institutions which they have decisively and completely lost control of and influence over, or do they seek out an approach to life that does not center around government and elite institutions.

      Whining about libertarians’ cultural preferences will not advance either goal. Call it concern trolling if you wish, but lost-cause sore-loserdom does not win you any respect for your values and it does not allow you to live according to those values in peace.

      • juris imprudent

        seek out an approach to life that does not center around government and elite institutions.

        The Benedictine Option. Not my gig, but I can understand it.

    • Hyperion

      OK. I just got his dejavu feeling. Didn’t you just post pretty much that exact statemen a couple of weeks ago, of is this a glitch in the matrix?

      There’s not a damn thing libertarians are ‘supposed’ to do. That’s why we are libertarians, not hive mind creatures.

      • C. Anacreon

        speak for yourself!

      • Hyperion

        Exactly.

  9. The Late P Brooks

    The unique challenges that moms face every day don’t always get a lot of attention, especially when they are about money. But a growing online community of personal finance experts are changing the conversation around money, motherhood, and building family wealth.

    Something tells me none of those “advisors” are saying, “Pinch your pennies until they scream.”

  10. Trigger Hippie

    ‘“American Gods” is over at Starz. The premium cable network canceled the drama, based on Neil Gaiman’s novel of the same name, after three seasons.’

    High hopes for a show that ended up a largely boring, disjointed, train wreck of a road trip story. Oh well.

    • Nephilium

      /looks over at Preacher

      What are you talking about?

      • Trigger Hippie

        Some quests for the gods are more entertaining than others. The TV version of Shadow Moon was basically a wooden Neo clone who never actually did anything cool. He bored me to tears.

      • Nephilium

        I haven’t seen the last season of American Gods yet, I’ll finish it because (in general) I’m a completionist (and I can deal with TV as background noise). I was more throwing shade at the strangeness that was the Preacher television show that spun its wheels for two seasons without actually going anywhere. FFS, the first season is literally an extended edition of the first comic book. Not the first graphic novel, but the first comic book.

        Some things do not need to be drawn out.

  11. Count Potato

    “The Latest TV Show Cancellations And Renewals”

    I never heard of 90% of those shows. I think I’ve ever only watched three of them. Anyway, glad to see the only one I’m still watching, “Better Call Saul”, will be back.

    On a related note, “Nobody” was a decent flick.

    • LJW

      Last network TV show I watched was Community. That and the office were the only shows I was watching at that time.

      • Count Potato

        I used to watch the Simpsons a long time ago. That was on regular TV. I don’t even think I had cable.

      • Trigger Hippie

        I think the last network program I tried to catch regularly was Parks and Rec. Then Ron Swanson went all soft and helped Leslie win her council seat so she could continue being an unethical, control freak socialist asshat who loved spending other people’s money on random “community” bullshit despite those traits being everything he supposedly opposed. Then I stopped caring.

      • Winston

        Swanson is a Cosmotarian I guess…

      • Trigger Hippie

        So, the Nick Gillespie of secondary sitcom characters?

      • Gadfly

        Last network TV show I watched was Community. That and the office were the only shows I was watching at that time.

        At one point, NBC was airing The Office, 30 Rock, Parks and Rec, and Community back-to-back-to-back-to-back as their Thursday night line-up. That was pretty much the only time I fell into a “must watch” television routine, as I liked/loved all those shows.

      • Animal

        American television peaked with “F-Troop.” It’s been all downhill ever since.

    • Hank

      “I never heard of 90% of those shows.”

      So it’s *your* fault they were cancelled!

    • Pope Jimbo

      The only one I had watched was Resident Alien. I liked it a lot. It snuck in a few woke moments, but it did it pretty subtly and almost tongue in cheek so I gave them a pass. (the only tiresome trope was a little grrrl who was liberated, fierce and … wore a hijab).

      I’ve been done with most network shows ever since they canceled Scorpion. That show was fucking awesome.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I forgave the little Muslim girl cause she was cute as a button, wasnt militant in her parents beliefs and adventures with a male not of her family.

      • Pope Jimbo

        She wasn’t bad. You are right that she was cute and had some funny lines.

        I think I’m more sensitive to the whole Hijabgrrrrl because of all the Somalis we have who wear them and the propaganda that goes along with them.

      • C. Anacreon

        The saddest cancellation this year is Mike Tyson Mysteries.

        Effing brilliant, and Norm McDonald’s regular role as a foul-mouthed man who’d been turned into a substance-abusing Pigeon was classic.

      • l0b0t

        Agreed. That, Venture Brothers, and to a slightly lesser extent Aqua Teen Hunger Force and Sealab 2021 were my favorites on the network.

    • R C Dean

      I can’t remember the last network TV show I followed.

      I’ve been in a show hole for quite awhile. I just can’t seem to stay engaged with a series – they seem draggy to me. And I have about an hour every night after Mrs. Dean turns in.

      I’ll probably try to pick up Fauda again – I liked Season 1. Glad to see Better Call Saul is coming back; will definitely watch that one.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      “It ain’t over till the fat lady’s on a ventilator.”

      *chuckle*

    • Tonio

      Nice.

  12. Rebel Scum

    You don’t say…

    Host Stephanie Ruhle asked, “Republicans are working with the White House. If they agree to a smaller bill just focused on hard infrastructure, roads, bridges, transportation, could you get behind that for the time being?”

    Porter responded, “No. Because what we’re doing here is not an infrastructure bill. It is an economic recovery bill. So, infrastructure, hard infrastructure is a part of our economic recovery. But our economy is not going to fully bounce back from COVID-19, is not going to be on a path to be globally competitive going forward unless we address some of the other issues that workers face. And so, we have to be making investments in the people who do the work. We talk so much about jobs and they are so important. But we also have to have people who are able to take those jobs, who are trained to do it, who are earning a living wage, who are safe in their workplace, who have places for their kids to go. This is an economic package. It’s not an infrastructure package. Infrastructure is part of our economy and that’s how I think about it. And I think that’s how most…Americans think about it.”

    The term “investment” is being thrown around a lot but I do not think it means what Democrats think it means.

    • LJW

      It sounds sexier than redistributing our children’s wealth.

      • Not an Economist

        Children’s you mean great great grandchildren’s.

    • Swiss Servator

      “No! We have the Treasury in our grasp, and we mean to get while the getting is good! Free Shit Army…forward march!”

    • Drake

      Got a look at the Covid-19 testing hubs plans today. They will be shooting federal money out of a firehose at this thing for years.

    • R C Dean

      “Look, the window is closing on our chance to completely wreck the US Dollar, the American economy, and American society. We’re going to ram this through without a single Republican vote if we have to. But we’d sure like to be able to call it bipartisan so when the shitshow starts, some of the blame splashes on the whole UniParty.”

  13. The Late P Brooks

    Discussing the experience of taking a photo while covered in bees, Jolie said, “I’m going to sound like my Buddhist practices, but it just felt lovely to be connected to these beautiful creatures. There’s certainly a hum. You have to be really still and in your body, in the moment, which is not easy for me.”

    I bet that would tickle like crazy. It would be hard not to squirm.

  14. Count Potato

    “Playa Manhattan hardest hit”

    Has he been around lately?

    • Swiss Servator

      Yes. I shall see him in person in 3 days.

      • Count Potato

        OK

      • Bobarian LMD

        I see him on the Twatter nearly every day, but not around here that often…

      • dontreadonme

        That scene is hilarious. Hell, the entire movie ages quite well. I only wish Sloan went to my HS.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    Citation?

    WinstonWorld News, as read to him by the voices in his head.

  16. zwak

    Speaking of TV shows (renewed) I have been watching a bit of the first season of AP Bio lately. Good stuff. Would recommend.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    Speaking of shows, I’m watching Godfather of Harlem.

    I like it. Interesting fictionalized historical story lines.

    • Urthona

      I think it’s dumb but is it really anti-semitism? I’m sure they just buy into the popular media narrative that Israel is the bad guy and Palestine is the victim.

      • Count Potato

        Which is complete horseshit.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        My guess is they didn’t want a riot.

        Even so, they should have said “Bloke, if you keep showing that flag the crazies are probably going to come after you and I’m a chickenshit who doesn’t want to get his fat ass beat.”

      • Urthona

        yeah mine too

      • Chafed

        When the only country that gets singled out, time after time, is Israel, then yes it is anti-semitism.

      • kbolino

        There’s definitely a tinge of antisemitism, which turns into a distinct stain if you scratch hard enough. But I’d say the reason that reason for the pervasive media narrative has less to do with antisemitism than it does with trying to take over Israeli politics. Netanyahu is a reactionary who doesn’t believe that borders are meaningless and citizenship is arbitrary. This stands apart from the global elite, who wish to travel, do business, and take over the local institutions freely anywhere in the world, ergo he must be opposed. The Palestinians are, once again, just human shields for this front (see also: BLM and U.S. politics).

      • Urthona

        agreed.

      • Gadfly

        But I’d say the reason that reason for the pervasive media narrative has less to do with antisemitism than it does with trying to take over Israeli politics. Netanyahu is a reactionary who doesn’t believe that borders are meaningless and citizenship is arbitrary.

        Which does not seem like a plan that is bound to work. Israel started off as a fairly left-wing country, while in the last election the two main parties were right and center-right. I’d imagine the whole security issue had something to do with that.

    • l0b0t

      Tottenham was a historically Jewish neighborhood, and the Hotspur’s hooligan firm has been known as The Yids for decades. I would imagine that plays into this.

  18. grrizzly

    I clicked thru page #51 of the Costco best/worst products site.

    • TARDis

      I’ll Paypal you 5 bucs if you put it on a spreadsheet.

      • Pope Jimbo

        That is a good deal.

        Wait! I get to choose the bucs right? I want Brady, Gronk, Winfield, Tyler Johnson* for sure. Don’t try to palm off some third string offensive linemen on me.

        *I’m a Golden Rodent bobo.

  19. Chafed

    Mothers always know best.

    Um, I believe the correct term is birthing persons.

  20. Rebel Scum

    Hope and change 2.0.

    Vice President Kamala Harris said the coronavirus presents an “opportunity” to “transform” American life in a Wednesday address to the Asian Pacific American Heritage Month Unity Summit.

    “As we emerge from the pandemic, I believe that we are at the start of a new era,” Harris said. “I believe that we have a unique opportunity now to shape our nation’s future. To transform how we live, how we work, and how we vote.”

    I take that to mean ruin how we live/work/vote.

    • Animal

      “As we emerge from the pandemic, I believe that we are at the start of a new era,” Harris said. “I believe that we have a unique opportunity now to shape our nation’s future. To transform how we live, how we work, and how we vote.”

      Yeah.

      We’re fucked.

      • Chafed

        Why? It will be the Age of Aquarius.

    • Hank

      “When Trump was President we stood upon the edge of a precipice. Under the Biden administration, we have taken a great step forward!”

      • TARDis

        Jump in. We all float down here.

      • ignoreLander

        “When Trump was President we stood upon the edge of a precipice. Under the Biden administration, we have taken a great step forward!”

        Beautiful. Hats off, friend.

      • Hank

        Used of many politicians, but I’ll take credit on behalf of all the known and unknown jesters who gave us this gem.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    What are you hiding?

    The Treasury Department on Thursday announced that it is taking steps to crack down on cryptocurrency markets and transactions, and said it will require any transfer worth $10,000 or more to be reported to the Internal Revenue Service.

    “Cryptocurrency already poses a significant detection problem by facilitating illegal activity broadly including tax evasion,” the Treasury Department said in a release.

    “This is why the President’s proposal includes additional resources for the IRS to address the growth of cryptoassets,” the department added. “Within the context of the new financial account reporting regime, cryptocurrencies and cryptoasset exchange accounts and payment service accounts that accept cryptocurrencies would be covered. Further, as with cash transactions, businesses that receive cryptoassets with a fair market value of more than $10,000 would also be reported on.”

    Between this, and the stuff Yellen was talking about the other day, it’s only a matter of time until we apply for membership in the EU.

    • Mojeaux

      There is nowhere to run for freedom.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Cue Martha and the Vandellas!

      • TARDis

        Ok. My labor.

  22. grrizzly

    Papers, please–not optional.

    The Oregon Health Authority clarified that businesses must check their customers’ vaccine status in order to allow them to take off masks.

    New guidance released on Tuesday says that in public settings where vaccination status is checked, masks will not be required. If there is no vaccination status being checked, however, masks will still be needed.

    “If they have a process to review vaccination records and show that people are fully vaccinated, they’re free to serve customers in that manner. If they don’t want to, or cannot implement a system like that, they can continue to operate under the OHA guidance that requires masks and physical distancing,” OHA’s Dr. Dean Sidelinger said.

    • Animal

      Can I just write a macro that automatically replies “Yeah, we’re fucked” to any political news link?

    • kbolino

      Oregon and Washington went from frontier states to elitist swamps in a remarkably short period of time. California took quite a bit longer to transform.

      • Animal

        Once the first domino falls, the rest go very quickly.

      • Winston

        Is it possible to not become a elitist swamp? Sure seems like freedom and prosperity make it inevitable alas…

      • kbolino

        Political disunion, of one sort or another. If the Amish and Hasidim can do it, so can anyone else. It’s not going to be very convenient, however.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Oregon hasn’t had a frontier mentality for a long long time, and never had a live free or die attitude. This is the culmination of 60+ years of “smart” government, influx of outsiders, lack of religiousness, and no social conservatism.

      • kbolino

        I think it’s all relative. I live in the bedroom state of the swamp (MD) so everything West of here looked better for a while. Oregon and especially Washington were fairly well off states that, for a time, didn’t seem to be blue state permanent-Democrat-majority cesspools. Not anymore.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Fuck off.

      Oregon can’t be bothered to protect it’s citizens or businesses from rioters but it is going to force businesses to force citizens to comply with its authoritarian diktats.

      Governor Librarian is a petty tyrant.

    • Winston

      Are vaccine passports A Hill To Die On?

      • Sean

        Yes.

      • Trigger Hippie

        ^

        We’re in the midst of creating a quasi-caste system.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Ah, you and Cato purposely omitted it being on a private business level. How clever of you both. Again, yes. Except dying on a hill isn’t required for that. Take your business elsewhere.

    • Old Man With Candy

      Ready-to-fill-out certificates are available at our forum.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Completely optional. Either comply or leave the mask mandate in place, which I think is the real goal (note the handwaving away about using the honor system for the certificates themselves). And demanding medical information is ok, because it’s being voluntarily submitted by the person. I still don’t think I can call those assholes up and give them feedback that doesn’t descend into profanity and threats of violence against them.

      • dbleagle

        I had somebody advocating for covid passports to me and I told her I would support the idea if there was an absolute link with a HIV passport. After all HIV will kill you. She immediately blurted out “Absolutely not since HIV status should be protected to keep people from being discriminated against because of fear.” I replied so what is the difference and why is it okay to discriminate against one population and not the other? She replied “It’s just different and you know it.” Then stormed off.

        I don’t think I’ll get any party invites from her.

      • Gustave Lytton

        “You can’t catch HIV just by being in the same room as someone who is infected.”

        /also something I’ve heard from paper advocates

      • R C Dean

        You also can’t catch COVID just by being in the same room with someone who is infected. They have to deliver a minimum viral load to you, which is a function of how sick they are, how close they are, and how long they are close to you.

        Protip: If someone isn’t symptomatic, its difficult to catch the ‘Vid from them unless they are panting on you for a good while.

      • dontreadonme

        So are lap dances considered a “good long while”? Asking for a friend.

      • zwak

        Who is your state rep?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Holvey and Prozanski. Two worthless dirtbags.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    The Treasury Department’s release came as part of a broader announcement on the Biden administration’s efforts to crack down on tax evasion and promote better compliance. Among proposals officials are considering are bolstered IRS funding and technology, and more severe penalties for those who evade their obligations.

    According to the Treasury’s estimates, the difference between taxes owed to the U.S. government and those actually paid totaled nearly $600 billion in 2019.

    Show your work.

  24. Winston

    https://www.aier.org/article/how-team-biden-ended-covid-mania-overnight/

    If a term two Trump Administration had decided to make this sudden move, it would almost have certainly been met with complete outrage, a federal bureaucracy in complete revolt, mass resignations, the corporate press accusing the president of committing mass murder, and woke corporations perhaps making mask and vaccine requirements even more stringent upon entry.

    Team Biden was able to pull the plug on Covid Mania so swiftly because they have the ability to control the federal bureaucracy, in addition to having the support of the power brokers in D.C. and a cheerleading corporate press. Team Biden is a beneficiary of insider privilege, and they used it to end Covid Mania in a moment’s notice.

    This is a serious problem. How do we deal with the Deep State that will rabidly reject even the mildest fiscal conservatism and deregulation? And no getting some wonkish Ivy League erudite Nice Guy won’t make it work either.

    Or do we shut up and hope the TOP MEN will change their minds and leave us alone?

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      How do we deal with the Deep State that will rabidly reject even the mildest fiscal conservatism and deregulation?

      1) accept the decline
      2) prepare for the decline
      3) ride the decline out
      4) see how bad the decline ends up being and decide what to do from there.

      • The Gunslinger

        5). Profit.

    • Gadfly

      How do we deal with the Deep State that will rabidly reject even the mildest fiscal conservatism and deregulation?

      It’s possible, but neither easy or likely. If you had a Congress/President combo that really despised the bureaucracy (the hard/unlikely part), they could abolish/replace it quite simply. 51% vote in both houses to make bureaucrats at-will employees of the executive, then let the President go to town.

    • Chafed

      Stalin? Arafat? Nasser?

    • SDF-7

      Well, apparently they did it already. We’ll see if it sticks, obviously.

    • R C Dean

      Are there any who didn’t?

      Other than the first-gen Israelis, I mean.

  25. Count Potato

    “A Tesla driver was pulled over by cops after he was caught sleeping behind the wheel for the third time, with his most recent nap happening while his car barreled down a freeway at 82mph.

    Mitul Patel, 38, of northwest suburban Palatine, Illinois, was named as the driver caught dozing in his Model 3 while it was set to autopilot mode along the I-94 in Kenosha County, Wisconsin, just before 8am on Sunday morning.

    Patel, a FedEx driver, was spotted snoozing by other drivers on Sunday morning, who called 911 over fears of a possible smash.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9601269/Tesla-driver-going-82mph-ASLEEP-took-two-miles-pull-cops-tried-stop-him.html

    CWAA

    • Mojeaux

      Narcolepsy kills.

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      Asian drivers, amirite?

    • Sean

      “Crumbs.”

      “No reasonable prosecutor…”

    • Old Man With Candy

      That granddaughter is looking very attractive now.

      • Translucent Chum

        10k attractive?

    • Chafed

      Now I want to know what else is on Hunter’s laptop.

      • The Hyperbole

        Rudy’s only had it for 7 months, what’s the hold up?

      • kbolino

        One of the few decisive things to come out of the debacle that was the last election is that Giuliani, Powell, and Wood are con-(wo)men. Though I think in all 3 cases if anyone had been paying attention sooner this would already have been evident.

      • Chafed

        That’s actually a good question. I have a feeling his age or hubris resulted in him failing to make a copy of the hard drive before turning it over.

      • Mojeaux

        You mean, like with a cloth?

      • Nephilium

        You can’t copy something with a cloth…

        You need carbon paper for that!

    • The Other Kevin

      Until about a year ago I resisted thinking there were two Americas. It seemed like tin foil hat territory. But I am 100% convinced now. There’s these people’s American, and there’s the one for the rest of us peons.

      • Tonio

        That is a difficult revelation to accept, TOK. It took me a while to get there, too.

      • Fourscore

        If you lean libertarian you have already accepted the fact. About the time you started rejecting authoritarianism . It starts slowly but as more pieces of the puzzle fit the process really speeds up.

        The virus shutdowns really sped things up.

      • Winston

        This leads to the obvious question: was there ever One America in the first place? North, South, East, West, Urban, Rural, etc…

  26. Count Potato

    “The head of the Arizona Republican Party said state officials who don’t comply with the GOP-mandated audit of election results in Maricopa County should be arrested.

    Appearing on One America News, the far-right news network whose anchors helped raise money to pay for the audit, Kelli Ward suggested the arrest if officials don’t comply.

    ‘There have to be consequences,’ Ward, the chairwoman of the Arizona Republican Party, said. ‘There could be arrests of people who are refusing to comply.’ ”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9600447/Arizona-Republican-Party-chair-threatening-election-officials-ARRESTED.html

    Nothing will happen no matter what they find, anyway.

  27. Rebel Scum

    Because they Littorally suck.

    A U.S. Navy spokeswoman confirmed on Monday that USS Independence and USS Freedom, the Navy’s first two Littoral Combat Ships (LCS), will be decommissioned in July and September of this year, respectively.

    Both ships are only halfway through their originally projected service lifespans of 25 years.

    The LCS program has been dogged by criticism of its cost and effectiveness since its inception. USNI News on Tuesday quoted Navy officials suggesting the first four LCSs should be regarded as prototypes or “test ships,” so the decommissioning of LCS-1 and LCS-2 is not unusual or an indication that the entire class of ships could be retired.

    • SDF-7

      Well, Biden did say the Coast Guard would be the nucleus of the Navy — so I guess the funding will go to some new cutters now. They’re more littoral inclined anyway.

      Maybe we’ll disentangle from foreign alliances just through sheer incompetence and running the military into the ground? (Nah — we’ll just get more and more useless crap like the F-35, or the CongressCritter Joint Stimulus Fighter, I know…)

      • kbolino

        If the Coast Guard is effective and focused today, it won’t be after the infusion of cash and perverse incentives that will follow. Swamp parasites go to wherever the money is.

    • Sensei

      Those things have been a great example of military waste. I remember when they were proposed and the initial pushback seems to line up nicely with the reality.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    Reeling- REELING, I say

    An abrupt relaxation of mask policies has left workers at supermarkets and other stores reeling as they try to sort out what the new environment means for their own safety and relationship with customers.

    Kroger, the country’s largest grocery chain, became one of the latest to announce that, starting Thursday, workers and customers can stop wearing masks in states where mandates are no longer in effect. Other companies that have adopted similar changes include Amazon, Walmart, Best Buy, Macy’s, Costco, Home Depot, Trader Joe’s and Target, following updated guidance from the Centers for Disease Control.

    Some workers have taken to social media to cheer, but many others protested. Some don’t trust customers — or their co-workers — to be truthful about their vaccination status since most companies are not requiring proof. Others fear they will be judged if they leave their own masks on, even though their reasons for doing so are varied.

    William Stratford, 29, won’t be fully vaccinated until next month, but shoppers and co-workers at the home improvement store where he works had been coming in without a mask even before the CDC put out its latest guidance.

    He has complained to management and eats lunch in his car to avoid mask-less people in the breakroom. He gets stares from shoppers and co-workers.

    “I know for a fact people have a negative opinion of me,” said Stratford of Valley Center, California, who asked that the store where he works not be named out of fear of reprisal. “It’s become a divisive issue in the workplace.”

    How horrible, living in a world in which people are permitted to make their own choices.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      Stares! He gets Stares! How dare the unwashed deplorables make him feel self conscious!

    • Sean

      “It’s become a divisive issue in the workplace.”

      What hasn’t?

      Maybe he should discuss celery with his co-workers.

      • SDF-7

        He should work as a florist… seems to know a lot about pansies.

      • I'm Here To Help

        Celery not a divisive issue? Depends on where you are. I know that it is explicitly banned at Stamford Bridge (Chelsea’s home stadium).

    • Gadfly

      William Stratford, 29, won’t be fully vaccinated until next month, but shoppers and co-workers at the home improvement store where he works…Stratford of Valley Center, California, who asked that the store where he works not be named out of fear of reprisal

      Well, hopefully he gave a fake name then, because if not he’s not too clever at hiding his identity. According to wiki, Valley Center, CA has ~10K people, so I doubt there are multiple people with that same F/L name combo, with the given age, who work at an unnamed home improvement store.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Inland northern San Diego County.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    Some workers worry they have been left to bear the fallout of a confusing jumble of policies. John Bartlett, a meat manager at a Safeway in Steamboat Springs, Colorado, said he is personally relieved that, for now, his store is still requiring masks for everyone but he worries that the policy will make dealing with anti-mask customers even more difficult.

    “We have customers who literally cuss at us,” said Bartlett, recalling an incident where a man stormed out of the store shouting obscenities after Bartlett pleaded with him to wear a mask. “The country should just have one policy. It would make it easier because we wouldn’t have deal with customers who are so rude and awful to us.”

    Boo fucking hoo. We should have National Guard troops with live ammo stationed at the Safeway meat counter in every boondock shithole in the country to stamp out the antisocial thuggery of mask refuseniks.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      The country should just have one policy

      Okay, fine. The policy is no masking and bitching about somebody else not wearing a mask results in your citizenship being taken away.

    • kbolino

      I don’t know John Bartlett, and I have dealt with rude customers before, but I’d be willing to bet that he’s telling a one-sided story here. Many of the pro-maskers are aggressive and demeaning. That attitude might fly on Twitter but it doesn’t win you any friends in real life.

    • Tonio

      Also, the conflation of the unmasked with anti-maskers is dishonest. The unmasked don’t want to be forced to wear masks, but don’t object if others do; that is the vast majority of the people he calls anti-maskers. Actual anti-maskers don’t want anyone to wear masks. Contrast this with the pro-maskers, who are the majority of mask wearers — they want everyone to be forced to wear masks.

      • Ownbestenemy

        We went into the local Subway were teen #2 works. He is a mask person. His choice. We are not and he knows that but when we went in, we wore it for respect of his work.

    • B.P.

      This guy is either calling on the federal government to eradicate rudeness, or thinks passing a federal policy will cure rudeness. Either way, I’m sure he thinks of himself as a thoughtful person.

  30. ignoreLander

    OT: My work schedule makes it such that sometimes I can’t read posts for a long while. To Wit, I just today read a post by mexican sharpshooter back on the 1st called “Just Boiling Me Tripe”. In it, he said:

    What is offal? Its animal byproducts that Americans typically don’t eat

    In fairness, byproducts makes it sound like some weird hot-dog-type franken-meat that no one in his right mind would eat. I think a better description of offal would be “organ meat”, i.e., anything that isn’t pure muscle and/or fat.

    A lot of it is freaking delicious, and almost all of it is very very nutritious. Marrow, kidneys, livers, tendons, brains — they are all chock full of life-sustaining nutrients; ounce for ounce way more nutrient dense than regular meat.

    And speaking of the aforementioned tripe…. I could not imagine having a nice beef pho without a nice big wad of tripe right in the middle of it.

  31. Sensei

    I’m seriously speechless.

    Audi adds navigation-on-demand capability to four 2021 models

    Drivers can add navigation and a Wi-Fi connection to a car not sold with either via the MyAudi app. They can subscribe to both features for $84.99 a month or pay $849.99 for a 12-month plan.

    Nothing like buying a luxury car and spending $85/mos for what comes standard on mid level Honda. That said this includes WiFi – why that can’t be decoupled from the Nav isn’t stated. BMW tried this and backed away after outrage.

    • ignoreLander

      Nothing like buying a luxury car and spending $85/mos for what comes standard on mid level Honda

      Or better yet, can be had on any cell phone with a 9.99/mo plan, and on top of that you get internet, phone calls, text messaging, music players, and about 4,000 other things as well.

      • Sensei

        For my Tesla it is $10/month and it includes streaming music and real time traffic and web browsing. Essentially a phone plan.

        I absolutely could use just the phone, but the integration is quite nice and the price isn’t crazy.

      • ignoreLander

        No, the #10/mo with other benefits is absolutely justified. The 85/mo for a basic function is next-level dumbness. What was it my aunt used to say? It’s “for people with “more money than brains”.

    • kbolino

      Yes, but it’s Audi

  32. The Late P Brooks

    The country should just have one policy

    Of course it should. And I should be the person who decides what that policy will be.

  33. Winston

    https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2021/05/mask-wearing-cdc-guidelines/618916/

    Putting aside the hard science for a moment, wearing a mask in public spaces—especially indoors, where transmission is more likely—serves a broader social purpose: It says to those around us that, whatever our vaccine status, we value community safety.

    When I walk outside my door into a densely populated neighborhood, I know as little about the life circumstances of the people I encounter as they do about mine. Are they, like me, fully vaccinated? Or are they in between shots, still looking for an appointment, or never planning to get a vaccine at all? Might they be in chemotherapy, or otherwise immunocompromised in some way that would prevent them from either getting a vaccine or experiencing its full benefits? Do they have children at home who can’t be vaccinated yet (as I did until last week, when the Pfizer shot was okayed for my child’s 12-to-15-year-old age group)? Did they lose one or more loved ones to COVID-19, or have a brutal and possibly ongoing bout with the disease themselves? Do they work in retail, health care, early-childhood education, or some other field that requires them to be exposed to the public in a way we lucky work-from-home types aren’t?</em

    • kbolino

      The White Man’s Burden, iteration too many to count

    • R C Dean

      It says to those around us that, whatever our vaccine status, we value community safety.

      Virtue signalling serves a broad social purpose?

      Err, no.

    • EvilSheldon

      Why are you interested? Mind your own goddamned business.

    • kbolino

      Audi doesn’t sell gearhead cars anymore, at least not in the states. That car might have put them on the map originally but now they’re just selling to people who want comfort.

    • Sensei

      That would be my choice. Although I owned a 1998 half year model A4 that I actually really liked. Black on black with a 5 speed and 1.8L turbo. Fun car well balanced.

    • TARDis

      Looks like a sissy late eighties ‘stang with implants. I’m sure the performance was much better though. The decade of shit American cars.

      • Sensei

        Those bulged fenders were actually required to fit the wheels. Unlike, say, an Fox body Mustang GT of the late 80s.

        The thing turned the European rally world upside down.

  34. The Late P Brooks

    When I walk outside my door into a densely populated neighborhood, I know as little about the life circumstances of the people I encounter as they do about mine. Are they, like me, fully vaccinated?

    You’d be better off wondering if they were contract killers, or rapists, or county commissioners.

    • creech

      But you probably think you can run their lives for them better than they can.

  35. Hyperion

    “SugarFree hardest hit.”

    That’s news?

    CNN has also been reposting an article about the discovery of an undiscovered tribe in the Amazon for about 30 years now. The tribe all had iPads and Michael Kors clothing about a month after the first time it was posted in 1990. Have they ran out of Trump fluff for good? Just close it down.

  36. Hyperion

    “10 Moms You Should Follow on Social Media for Great Finance Advice”

    Sit around shopping online all day and spend all your hubby’s money?

  37. Hyperion

    “Who cares?”

    Jeebus F’n Christ. That photo. That thing is more alien that Zuckerkborg.

  38. Ownbestenemy

    I took this week off from my normal job and offered to do a couple days with the wife in the dog grooming trailer.

    Talk about tough work that has awesome rewards. Her clientele and their dogs are so awesome. Small little yorkies, big ol Huskies and a whole lotta love.

    • Mojeaux

      I remember when you were floating the idea here. I thought then and still think that is awesome. I don’t know you or her, but I’m inexplicably proud of you guys.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Thank you Mo! Nearly all her peers she worked with in shops have gone mobile so she is about a year ahead of them.

        She is at the point of shedding bad clients and narrowing to her set amounts of dogs.

        She also lamented that we had a tax liability this year but given the amount and that she pays little to no taxes all year…I would take that liability all day long.

        We also put in a window unit AC and now even on a 100degree day it’s about 80 in the trailer and comfortable.

      • Mojeaux

        She is at the point of shedding bad clients and narrowing to her set amounts of dogs.

        I would have a hard time deciding between that or expanding, but you’ve already said she didn’t want to expand. Me, I don’t expand because I’m a bad teacher and I don’t want to train someone only for them to go off on their own.

      • Ownbestenemy

        She wants to but the climate is so uncertain right now. Her solution was narrow her area of service. Which has plenty of potentials and she has a superb reputation from that area via word of mouth and them all sharing via FB/next door (we dont do any advertising)

      • Tulip

        Gasps. You don’t like dogs?!

      • Mojeaux

        No. They’re okay for a pat or two and maybe a “Good puppy,” but that’s it.

      • TARDis

        You’re just wrong. Love the kittehs, but one good dog is worth a dozen good cats. See avatar. I’ll give anyone $500 for the cat, right now. I’d give $10K for the dog. Not kidding.

      • Mojeaux

        LOL I’m used to getting gasps for that.

      • R C Dean

        She is at the point of shedding bad clients and narrowing to her set amounts of dogs.

        Mrs. Dean is at that point with her personal training/massage therapy business. Only without the dogs part.

  39. Hyperion

    “1Don’t Buy: Kirkland Laundry Detergent”

    True story. I ordered some stuff from Costco for delivery 2 days ago. I ordered 2 40 packs of the Kirkland brand 16 oz waters in the order.

    For some reason, they sent me Deer Park water instead. Not a problem, except… All the bottles are filled to the top, which is great, except there is not a woman or child on the planet who can get the lids off those things.

    I went in the kitchen that afternoon and my wife is in there with a pair of vice grips and a bottle of water. And I said ‘What’s with that?’.

    So she hands me the bottle of water and said ‘Can you please get this off?’. I am not fucking kidding you, I don’t know how they got those on there like that. It’s like they were plastic welded on. I struggled to get it off and you hear a ‘pop’ like a seal breaking and then you get water all over you because the bottle are super thin and you’re squeezing hard with the strain of getting them off.

    I think who ever was running that line that day had the machine putting the lids on dialed up to 11.

    • kbolino

      Between my partner and myself, a single container of Kirkland detergent does not last long enough for the shelf-life to be a major concern. First of all, you’re not gonna get “146 loads” out of it. Especially not if you’re a male who sweats a lot. You’ll be lucky if you get 100 loads out of it. But even so, I do 1-2 loads a week and he does 3-4. That’s an average of 5 loads a week which means it lasts about… half a year. Don’t buy too far in advance and you’ll be okay.

      • Mojeaux

        My kids do their own laundry. XY goes through Borax like crazy.

      • Ownbestenemy

        This! Sunday…laundry, cool getting ready for the week. Tuesday more laundry…okay maybe its linens…Friday another two loads….what the hell you doing with your clothes!

      • kbolino

        [insert rant about HE washers]

        My partner was pre-soaking his clothes in Borax. It was a pain in the ass. Then due to various circumstances he has access to a conventional commercial non-HE washer for a while. No more pre-soaking, and the clothes come out much cleaner than they ever did with the HE washer no matter how much pre-soaking was done.

        The primary job of environmentalism today seems to be to make your life pointlessly more difficult but to give you a nice set of prepackaged religious beliefs so you don’t question it too much.

      • Mojeaux

        HE?

        I’ve advised XX, when she flies the nest, to take her laundry to a laundromat. Those stripped-down washers do a helluva job.

      • kbolino

        “High Efficiency”

        They even have a fancy logo and propaganda piece for them. I’m not sure you can even buy the other kind on the residential market anymore.

      • Tonio

        The primary job of environmentalism today seems to be to make your life pointlessly more difficult but to give you a nice set of prepackaged religious beliefs so you don’t question it too much.

        So much this. Those people are luddites who want us to an imagined edenic life.

        I have one of those HE machines. I’ve never used the fancy, expensive HE detergent in it. But I find that I have to always set the extra rinse or the clothes just aren’t properly clean.

        Also, I live alone and rarely do less than five loads a week.

      • grrizzly

        I bought a non-HE one by accident a year ago.

      • kbolino

        I’m mostly too cheap to buy new until the old one breaks, but if I can find a non-HE washer I’d probably make an exception.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Add a teaspoon of trisodium phosphate to your laundry, it makes a world of difference.

      • Hyperion

        WTF is Borax? Did you guys time travel here from 1940?

      • Ownbestenemy

        In the know households still use it.

      • Hyperion

        Ancient Chinese secret?

      • BakedPenguin

        20 Mule Team! They aren’t chintzy with their mules.

      • Hyperion

        Damn. I vaguely recall this borax stuff. We used it in my mineralogy class to try to identify minerals. It was the Borax bead test.

        As I recall, to get it, we had to drive up this holler in them hills and see some guy in a lean-to shack. He only had it because some old guy drove it up there in a team of mules from Death Valley.

        You guys are using this for your laundry? Do y’all still have your Annie Oakley decoder rings you got in your box of Ovaltine?

      • Mojeaux

        We have this here thang called a Wal-mart where we get it.

      • Hyperion

        “We have this here thang called a Wal-mart where we get it.”

        They’ve done went too fur in Kansas City. We dont’ take kindly…

      • Mojeaux

        Everything is up to date here.

      • Hyperion

        “Everything is up to date here.”

        I ain’t even going to make a Chiefs joke here. You guys going to change that racist name? KC Foozball Squad?

      • Mojeaux

        Let’s hope not!

      • Hyperion

        Well, I’m actually proud of our longtime AFC rivals for resisting that stupidity. Believe me, I’ll fight those assholes in the streets right along with you. I love to hate the Chiefs as I always have and don’t want to stop!

      • Spudalicious

        They could go all, “Blazing Saddles” with the new team name.

      • l0b0t

        Borax, 20 Mule Team is a good study in olde timey logistics. We sell it at work and it’s hard to keep in stock. It works nicely as prophylaxis against roaches as well.

        I wholeheartedly agree about the wonders of TSP in the laundry.

      • slumbrew

        Damn, I didn’t realize that MF DOOM died in October. 🙁

      • Gustave Lytton

        The primary job of environmentalism today seems to be to make your life pointlessly more difficult but to give you a nice set of prepackaged religious beliefs so you don’t question it too much.

        QFT

      • Hyperion

        I use their garbage bags, great bargain. Never used their detergent, no one is replacing my wife’s Tide Pods, I don’t even tread there.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        They have laundry pods, too. The deal isn’t amazing and the detergent seems to mess with my skin on occasion, but it’s super convenient!

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        And how much less effective is less effective? Is it less effective less effective or just less effective?

      • grrizzly

        The only time I purchased a Costco-size laundry detergent, I was unable to use it without spilling over. Every single time. I believe it was Tide.

    • kbolino

      I do agree with the advice about ground coffee. That container might be worth it for a high-traffic office but at home it will lose its flavor long before you finish it. If you want bulk coffee for the household that lasts awhile, get whole beans and grind them yourself when needed.

      • Hyperion

        I buy coffee in bulk when I’m in Brazil or if my wife is there. For about $2 a lb it’s the best coffee ever. And they grind it so fine you don’t have to use much. I use one scoop for what my coffee makers says is 6 cups, which is really about 2.5 USA cups. My wife puts 2 scoops in and it’s like espresso.

      • Tonio

        The official serving size for a cup of coffee is 6 oz. Home coffee machine carafes and water reservoirs are marked using that standard. That is, of course, ridiculously small for most Americans.

      • Hyperion

        First cup of coffee I had in Brazil, they gave me this tiny cup. And I’m like WTF is this? But it’s really espresso. I don’t like it, I’d rather my coffee taste good instead of like black mud.

    • Fourscore

      Water put in warm, as it cools the vacuum seal sucks that lid waaaaayyyyyyyy down tight.

  40. Winston

    https://unherd.com/2021/05/our-politicians-no-longer-care-for-freedom/

    Such is the position of the British Labour Party, which in both its Blair and Corbyn incarnations gave the impression that all moves towards immigration restrictionism constituted some form of racism; even if it wasn’t spelled out, it was heavily implied. Yet here we are in 2021, with the Leader of the Opposition and the Shadow Home Secretary repeatedly berating the Government for not sealing our borders more comprehensively.

    And most pro-open borders people in general with few exceptions like Jeff Tucker. Almost like their pro-open borders position was based on politics and not on genuine belief!

    In the whole political debate over Covid and Britain’s response to it, it is striking that there has been almost no counter-pressure from the other side of the debate. While there is plenty of pressure on the Government to be more cautious, there is none at a party-political level urging the Government to be more favourable towards the case for liberty.

    This is interesting. As far as I can tell the biggest anti-lockdowners in the anglosphere are the dissident right, even in places were the Right are in power. Not sure about other countries though. The dissident right is strongest in the US so of course this had much greater effects than say in Canada.

    • Hyperion

      They learned it from you dad, they learned it from you!

  41. Gadfly

    Seen on Twitter:

    The guys who think the government deeply cares about them are the same guys who think strippers really like them.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Wait after that lap dance where they stared into my eyes and we had a moment was all theater to take my money?

      • Fourscore

        Happy endings mean different things to different people. Government workers included.

    • Hyperion

      I like the way that guy thinks.

    • TARDis

      They really do like you, until the cash is no longer in YOUR hand.

  42. Pope Jimbo

    Well things are getting back to normal. Minneapolis and the Park Board are throwing gobs of money into the Mighty Mississippi.

    The Water Works, a $24 million, three-acre project, sits within Mill Ruins Park and overlooks the Stone Arch Bridge. It features an 1,800 square-foot patio with gas firepits, terraced steps with winding ramp for accessible public gatherings, a mezzanine lawn for performances, a playground and a combined bike and pedestrian street, called a “woonerf,” connecting downtown Minneapolis to West River Parkway.

    A pavilion that will house Owamni by the Sioux Chef — the highly anticipated debut restaurant of James Beard award-winning chef Sean Sherman — as well as a Park Board-staffed visitor center will open in coming months.

    $24M. 3 acres. But they are recycling rain runoff and they have native beadwork and plantings.

    It really is amazing how much the river has been transformed from a scary place in the late ’80s to Gentrification Central, but I guess if you throw that much money around you should end up with really nice stuff.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Indigenous artists furnished beadwork for the firepit covers. The city of Minneapolis has a $400,000 request for public art to acknowledge the Dakota people who lived near Owámniyomni (St. Anthony Falls) and Wanáǧi Wíta (Spirit Island), a sacred island lost to quarrying.

      The Dakota people were nearly all exiled from Minnesota after the U.S.-Dakota War of 1862, which included the largest mass execution in American history.

      I hate it when they always talk about the “largest mass execution in American history” without mentioning that the 38 Sioux were hanged for partaking in a war that killed over 600 settlers.

      • Winston

        If anyone was paying attention those people that wanted to take down Confederate statutes were also very open about how they wanted to take down Lincoln statues for how he treated the Native Americans and Washington and Jefferson statutes because they owned slaves but hey that wouldn’t happen since I’m not a redneck…

      • Pope Jimbo

        Which makes no sense because Lincoln actually commuted 260 or so death sentences. The 38 men who were hanged were the ones who had been part of massacres (not battles) or raped women.

    • Tonio

      “Sioux Chef”

      Assisted by a Sous Chef. Or perhaps a Sioux Sous Chef. And they play Siouxsie Sue on their kitchen stereo.

      • BakedPenguin

        “Oh, these hors d’oeuversdied in dust…

      • Pope Jimbo

        Dude! Don’t be dissing the Sioux Chef, he’s 20 times the man you’ll ever be!

        During the unrest that followed, Sherman felt compelled to help his aching community the best way he knew how: through food. Within weeks, The Sioux Chef team was cranking out hundreds of meals a day to combat new Twin Cities food deserts that had developed overnight, as grocery stores and restaurants were looted and burned to the ground. Sherman would load up his pickup with grain bowls for a growing homeless encampment at nearby Powderhorn Park and hand out hot soup to people on the streets. Even in this time of emergency, he kept an intentional focus on serving inherently nutritious Indigenous ingredients, like wild rice, quinoa, bison, duck, turkey, and seasonal produce from area farmers.

        “suddenly sprung up”. Yeah, it is amazing how they do that.

        Seriously, if you want a full body bath in woke nonsense, read this story about Sioux Chef. You won’t regret it.

  43. LCDR_Fish

    Hi Animal – I sent you a PM on the forum – guessing there aren’t email notifications. Would appreciate any feedback you have – might make a good follow-up article in your style too.

    Thanks

    • Animal

      I’ll take a look. I keep forgetting about the forum. Color me embarrassed.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Thanks. Don’t know most folks emails so seemed best.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Who else would work for CNN?

      Liberals and their sissy stance on no cruel or unusual punishments mean that judges can’t tell convicted criminals that they can go to prison or host a show on CNN.

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        Hitler?

  44. B.P.

    I wandered past a conversation in the office today about the Israeli/Palestinian conflict. Said one woman: “But really the problem started, as it always does, with the white man. It started when the United States moved Jews into the area after World War II.”

    I love it when people pretend to know stuff.

    • kbolino

      That’s up there with “Muslims are still angry about the Crusades”. Why would they be angry? They won.

      • Drake

        Did they? The Reconquista was a Crusade. I’d call it a draw at best.

      • kbolino

        If they had lost, the Patriarch of Constantinople would be giving his liturgy from the Hagia Sophia, the question would whether the schismatic Romans should be allowed back into the fold of the Orthodox church instead of the other way around, and a Christian could safely travel from Rome to Alexandria without taking a boat or airplane.

      • R C Dean

        Interesting question.

        The Muslims failed to conquer Europe, which was one of their goals. They achieved others, like conquering the Middle East.

        The Euros failed to hold the Holy Land, which was one of their goals. They achieved others, like keeping the Muslims out of Europe.

        I’d call it pretty much a stalemate, as far as the Euro/Muslim war went.

      • Mojeaux

        The Muslims failed to conquer Europe,

        That would largely be Dracula’s doing.

      • TARDis

        Hail Vlad. Reverse impaling FTW.

      • kbolino

        Vlad Tepes, and Charles Martel. The latter had a less ignominous end too.

      • Mojeaux

        I started a historical/fantasy novel with Tepes, but never got too far. Didn’t really know what I wanted to do.

      • Tejicano

        Are you saying you got held up?

      • Mojeaux

        Things have not come to a point yet.

      • Ted S.

        Twilight’s been done.

      • Mojeaux

        Oh please. Like I would write a vampire novel.

      • UnCivilServant

        Hmm.. a novel that drains other books of their ink for sustenence?

      • Mojeaux

        Hasn’t that been done? Serious. Seems like a Dr Who episode?

      • UnCivilServant

        I donno, I stopped watching that show years ago.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        +1 Winged Hussars

      • kbolino

        Muslims hold 3 of the 5 cities of the Pentarchy, and have held 4 of the 5 in the past. The Hashemites are still custodians of the holy sites in Jerusalem despite it being under Israeli sovereignty. Every single one of the 7 most widely accepted ecumenical councils was held in a city now under Turkish Muslim rule.

        It is true the Muslim invasion of Europe was stopped, but calling it a draw because of that is like saying Vietnam was a draw.

      • R C Dean

        The North accomplished its goal in Viet Nam – it conquered the South. The Muslims did not accomplish their goal in Europe – they wre repulsed and thrown out.

        The Muslims had a lot of conquering success, no question. But I don’t see how you can say the Euros lost their war with Islam, when they weren’t conquered by Islam, which was absolutely something the Muslims wanted and tried to do. If the Euro/Muslim war ended with both sides in their corners when the curtain came down, it was a draw in my book.

      • UnCivilServant

        The war hasn’t ended. You need both sides to agree to that.

      • Drake

        The Muslims know this. Most of the Euros refuse to see it. When that changes things will get spicy.

    • Urthona

      If only the honkeys had stayed out of this one.

  45. Hyperion

    My wife had an interesting story today. She went down to see her GP doc who is in the city and she doesn’t like to dive down there, so takes an Uber.

    She was telling me that the guy who drove her back was this super nice guy from Ghana. He had a Trump bobblehead and Trump signs al over his car and was totally unapologetic about his support of bad orange man and was giving hell to fake senile president. She told him to be careful because there are too many dumb democrats around here. I guess he laughed and didn’t care because he’s this huge coal black dude from Ghana, lol.

    • Tonio

      “False consciousness.”

      • Hyperion

        So, do you think the dude was an apparition or an an aberration?

    • Count Potato

      “she doesn’t like to dive down there”

      I hear that happens after you get married.

      • Hyperion

        OK. Let’s rest the pedantry for now. I sort of had a point even if it was subtle…

      • Pope Jimbo

        She doesn’t like to dive down there? Does she even stop to consider how here gynecologist feels about it?

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      He ain’t black.

    • blackjack

      We went and saw Journey and Fleetwood Mac at Dodger stadium, back when the government used to allow that sort of thing. My wife and I both got pretty drunk. After the show, we called for the Uber. Fucking driver could not find us. He called like three time. I told him, I’m right in front of the Dodger stadium sign, but he was just too inept. Pretty sure Uber had my Location pinned and my directions were explicit. Anyways, during the third call, where I’m bitching him out, this Gangbanger kid pulls up in a newish Mercedes. He had dreads, was wearing a wife beater and low saggy pants with the gang banger belt. He asked if we were waiting for an Uber. I said, ” Fuck Yeah!” and we jumped inside. Dude asked how much the Uber was gonna cost, I told him twenty and he said fine. Gave him the rough addy and off we went. He flipped a couple of switches and the raunchiest gangsta rap I’ve ever heard came out of everywhere at an easy Spinal Tap 12 volume level. My wife and I were cracking up the whole way. Finally we get close enough that he had to turn the “music” down to ask where to go. I tell him and he then starts trying to scam me out of anything he can. Asked if I had any cars for sale. I said yeah, I got a 1972 Nova. Then, he asks you got anything else you can sell. Finally he gave up, I think because I wasn’t afraid of him and I basically don’t really seem like an easy mark. Anyway, that was the best Uber ride we’ve ever gotten and it was a pirate driver.

  46. Pope Jimbo

    This dude has a good reason for not going back to the office

    A Gujarat government official has claimed that he is Kalki, the tenth incarnation of Vishnu, and can’t come to office because he is conducting a “penance” to “change the global conscience”.

    Thanks to his penance, the country is getting good rains, said Rameshchandra Fefar, superintending engineer with the Sardar Sarovar Punarvasvat Agency (SSPA), in reply to a show-cause notice served to him.

    “Even if you don’t believe, I am indeed the tenth incarnation of Lord Vishnu and I will prove it in coming days. I realised that I am Kalki Avatar when I was in my office in March 2010. Since then, I am having divine powers,” Fefar said, speaking to media at his Rajkot house on Friday.

    “I am doing penance at home by entering into fifth dimension to change the global conscience….I can’t do such penance sitting in office,” the two-page reply said. Because of his ongoing penance, India is getting good rainfall for the last 19 years, it claimed.

    Looking at his picture, you can tell that the copy of a copy of a copy is really taking a toll on Vishnu. You’d think he’d at least have a full head of hair.

    • Hyperion

      Thanks. I’m using that in the comments on the next ‘future or work’ survey I get from my clients. Which have mostly went like this:

      Do you like working in the office? No, it sucks.

      Do you like working from home? Well, hell yes, it rocks.

      How many days would you like to work from home? All of them, should I draw a picture?

    • Hank

      I’m just relieved he’s Kalki with two “k”s, not Kali with one “k.”

      • Hank

        Oh, and if there were a fifth dimension, wouldn’t *everyone* be in it, we just wouldn’t be aware of it? How could you enter the fifth dimension, wouldn’t that he like entering breadth?

      • Pope Jimbo

        Kalkik (3 “K”‘s) is the really bad one. He wears a hood to cover his shameful elephant trunk nose.

    • Gadfly

      That is the best excuse ever. The chutzpah to claim you can’t go into work because you are a god destined to save the world. Were I his boss, I’d doff my cap, shake his hand, and pat him on the back as I gave him his pink slip.

  47. trshmnstr the terrible

    The used car market is so fucked up.

    We’re looking at a Pacifica hybrid minivan. New with all the fixings we could possibly desire is around $46k pre-negotiation. Minus, of course, a $7500 tax credit. So, the used market should start at $38k and go down from there, right?

    Nope, a 2020 model with fewer features and 15k miles is $42k. You have to get to a 2018 model that’s above 25k miles before the prices drop near $30k. There are 2019s with 20k plus miles for more than $35k.

    That 2020 model I mentioned, I wouldn’t entertain for more than $32k. I think a fair price would be $28k. Why not buy new if used is gonna be so close in price? Fucking cash for clunkers, near zero interest rates, and other assorted bullshit.

    • Hyperion

      “The used car market is so fucked up.”

      Not as fucked up as the real estate market. Nothing is that fucked up. If these commie dumbasses would stop chasing their residents out of the cities…

      • LJW

        When the prices drop in a couple years there’s going to be a lot of homeowners in trouble.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Ayup. I salivate thinking about buying from distressed sellers.

      • Tulip

        I want the craziness to last a few more years

    • Gustave Lytton

      Limited/no inventory for current new model?

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I have found multiple of the new model in the exact trim and configuration I want within a 200 mile radius, but I’m not sure what qualifies as limited inventory.

    • blackjack

      We have all that and special California concerns, like massive fees for out of date registration and absolutely no older beaters to be had anywhere, which increases demand for decent priced newer stuff and reduces supply ( not to mention forces poor people into deep debt because everyone here needs a car despite what the watermelons say).

    • Don Escaped Texas

      I thought the Pacifica must be taking off: over a dozen of them at the IHOP down Big Beaver, not far from my Detroit office at that time. Turns out it was DC (Chrysler was owned by the krauts then before the frogs liberated them): some team of Pacifica program guys (who always drive test/prototype fleet cars for free) having a breakfast meeting before visiting a nearby supplier.

      As you know in Texas, the way to tell a great car value is when all of them disappear around 100k . . . to Mexico. Mexicans know what works and what lasts and what can be fixed easily, so, if you can find a Camry with 100k on it I (won’t kiss your ass in Macy’s front window) will buy your lunch.

    • straffinrun

      That’s awesome.

    • blackjack

      My parents drank that shit all day long when I was a kid. Watch out for that bull!

      That and seagram’s V.O.

  48. LJW

    “But really the problem started, as it always does, with the white man. It started when the United States moved Jews into the area after World War II.”

    Well technically she’s half right. White men are mostly the reason why it’s a mess today… I would have chimed in and said if only Germany had won the first world war!

  49. Rebel Scum

    Mr. Gaybachev, tear down this wall.

    The LEGO Group has announced that it will release a new “LGBTQIA+” Lego kit.

    The set is titled “Everyone Is Awesome” and includes a range of rainbow-colored mini figures. It is the first LGBTQ set produced by the Danish company, The Guardian reported.

    The rainbow colors represent the gay pride flag, along with pale blue, pink and white to represent the transgender community and black and brown intended to represent minority groups.

    None of the mini figures have a face or discernible gender. However, creator of the kit Matthew Ashton told The Guardian that the purple one sporting a wig was “a clear nod to all the fabulous drag queens out there.”

    “Growing up as an LGBTQ+ kid – being told what I should play with, how I should walk, how I should talk, what I should wear – the message I always got was that somehow I was ‘wrong,’” Ashton told the outlet. “Trying to be someone I wasn’t was exhausting. I wish, as a kid, I had looked at the world and thought: ‘This is going to be OK, there’s a place for me.’ I wish I’d seen an inclusive statement that said ‘everyone is awesome.’”

    Maybe sexual orientation has no place in children’s toys.

    • hayeksplosives

      I’m pretty sure one reason I’m an engineer today is that I had access to a ton of Lego bricks as a kid. This was before all the “themed” lego sets with premise specialized pieces that were for a hair salon or a fighter jet. They were just legos.

      My sister grew up in the same circumstances but didn’t care for the legos and “what makes this gadget work” thing I had .

      Just let kids be kids; they will figure out what they like.

      Having plentiful reading material was also important. Mom was excellent at getting us to the library once a week to pick out books and explore.

      • Gadfly

        I’m pretty sure one reason I’m an engineer today is that I had access to a ton of Lego bricks as a kid.

        In one of my intro engineering courses in college we had a project using those technical legos (the ones with the gears, motors, and programmable switches), because the professor was like, yeah, we know you all grew up on legos, you’re in school to become engineers.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Drag queens with purple hair and kids, truly a match made in heaven.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Sodom and Gamorrah

      • UnCivilServant

        couldn’t invent the depravities we’ve devised.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Yeah, all they did was try to have sex with angels, to my knowledge they weren’t hanging fake genitalia on two year olds.

      • Mojeaux

        There is nothing new under the sun. I’m quite sure they were doing something as or more depraved.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Probably but they were largely illiterate savages from the Bronze Age. We ought to know better.

      • Mojeaux

        Extreme hedonism comes with prosperity and boredom.

      • UnCivilServant

        We have the advantage of more free time and knowledge of the past depravities our ancestors came up with as a springboard.

      • UnCivilServant

        Not to mention better collaborative tools to reduce duplicative effort, and more minds thrown at the problem.

      • Gadfly

        Probably but they were largely illiterate savages from the Bronze Age. We ought to know better.

        Why ought we to know better? We’re just literate savages from the Silicon Age. Ain’t any better than our ancestors, just got better tools/toys.

  50. slumbrew

    Thanks for all of the rum recommendations yesterday, but I ended up with a local product:

    https://privateerrum.com/spirit/queens-share/

    Single-barrel stuff; reviews have varied a bit depending on the barrel, but fingers crossed.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Sounds good. ??

  51. UnCivilServant

    🙁 Only managed three miles today.

    • commodious spittoon

      Three miles is better than gnome miles.

    • TARDis

      Are you working from home? Can you take 5-10 minute breaks?

      • TARDis

        I’m trapped inside all day. But I get 4+ miles anyway. If I didn’t, I’d be 300 pounds. If you can get away from your work space and get a short walk, do it. Take a flight or two of stairs down and come back up. I have this discussion every week with my work from home wife. Move. Just a little bit, but move.

      • UnCivilServant

        The only measurement tool I have for distance is the map. Any number of five minute walks == 0 additional recorded distance.

        And that’s not the point. I was walking four miles uninterrupted with no issue not too long ago. That’s what’s pissing me off.

      • TARDis

        Sorry, I misunderstood.

      • Akira

        And that’s not the point. I was walking four miles uninterrupted with no issue not too long ago. That’s what’s pissing me off.

        It’s normal to have some days like that. I’ve run 5 miles nonstop for months on end, then one day I just crap out after one. Sometimes we don’t eat just right and our bodies lack the energy. Sometimes we don’t get good sleep. Maybe we get mentally distracted by something else and lose focus. Who knows? The human body is a complicated machine with any number of things that can go wrong.

        When I am falling short on something that I’ve done before, I’ll usually substitute some other type of exercise for a week or two and then come back to it.

        It can definitely be frustrating, but don’t let it be discouraging. You got this bruh.

    • Nephilium

      You got out of the chair, and the house, and managed some distance. Sometimes you have to take the small victories.

    • Mojeaux

      Take the win, UCS.

    • Tundra

      Stop that shit.

      Walk as far as you feel like walking every day for a couple years and you will be astonished.

    • straffinrun

      You need to stay out drinking, miss your last train and walk 10Km home because your wife would kill you if you used the CC for a taxi. This regimen takes preparation, but it works.

      • UnCivilServant

        I don’t drink, don’t have a wife, and there’s no train.

        Other than that, perfect plan.

      • straffinrun

        You don’t drink because you don’t have a wife.

      • Sean

        Science!

      • rhywun

        Been there, only without the wife or a credit card.

      • TARDis

        Two out of three ain’t bad.

      • Not Adahn

        Honestly, I’d be interested for UnCiv to live in Japan and tell us about it.

        On the one hand, Montreal is too exotic for him.

        On the other hand, being an enormous gaijin, nobody would ever attempt to talk to him.

      • Not Adahn

        I’ve never been, but as a suburb of Ottawa, I wouldn’t have high hopes for it.

  52. westernsloper

    Who cares?

    Not me. If a story starts with a pic of Ellen I don’t bother.

    • straffinrun

      Even if it’s of her in a canoe?

    • Count Potato

      What?

      • straffinrun

        Appalling, isn’t it?

      • commodious spittoon

        It was a sympathetic chuckle, promise.

    • Hank

      “The idea of a general revolt of women against men has been proclaimed with flags and processions, like a revolt of vassals against their lords, of [n-words] against [n-word]-drivers, of Poles against Prussians or Irishmen against Englishmen; for all the world as if we really believed in the fabulous nation of the Amazons. The equally philosophical idea of a general revolt of men against women has been put into a romance by Sir Walter Besant, and into a sociological book by Mr. Belfort Bax. But at the first touch of this truth of an aboriginal attraction, all such comparisons collapse and are seen to be comic. A Prussian does not feel from the first that he can only be happy if he spends his days and nights with a Pole. An Englishman does not think his house empty and cheerless unless it happens to contain an Irishman. A white man does not in his romantic youth dream of the perfect beauty of a black man. A railway magnate seldom writes poems about the personal fascination of a railway porter. All the other revolts against all the other relations are reasonable and even inevitable, because those relations are originally only founded upon force or self interest. Force can abolish what force can establish; self-interest can terminate a contract when self-interest has dictated the contract. But the love of man and woman is not an institution that can be abolished, or a contract that can be terminated. It is something older than all institutions or contracts, and something that is certain to outlast them all.”

      https://ccel.org/ccel/chesterton/divorce/divorce.vii.html

    • Fourscore

      Bad drugs are unbecoming to a lot of people, Missy.

    • blackjack

      Yeah, it’s a good thing she’s a lesbian.

    • straffinrun

      When you can’t tell the difference btw a cat call and a dog barking.

    • Fourscore

      The dog helping with the push up is hoping they don’t switch

    • Hank

      Don’t work that poor dog to death!

  53. Count Potato

    I’d like a movie suggestion. How about some tech noir or sexy sci-fi?

    • straffinrun

      Dark City?

      • Count Potato

        Thanks, but seen it.

      • straffinrun

        Well, you could just stay here and talk with us in Dork City.

      • Nephilium

        Dark City is excellent, if you’re looking for more modern, Ex Machina?

      • Count Potato

        Seen that too. Both good.

      • Count Potato

        What?

      • Count Potato

        OK, Jughead.

      • straffinrun

        You guys communicate like a married couple.

    • Timeloose

      13th floor?

      • Timeloose

        The Matrix but better writing.

      • straffinrun

        I know Kung Fu. *Jumps around kicking like a spaz*

      • Timeloose

        Keanu is a better actor when he speaks less.

      • Hank

        You’ll have to narrow that down a tad.

    • Timeloose

      Isn’t tech noir the name of the club from the Terminator?

    • Timeloose

      For sexy sci-fi: Species
      Tech Noir: Hardware

    • Timeloose

      There’s always Videodrome.

    • Not Adahn

      Altered Carbon?

    • Sean

      Cherry 2000.

  54. straffinrun

    Today’s morning-meeting-cancelled-so-quick-sketch. Tatami room.

    https://ibb.co/YXsXg7q

    • Mojeaux

      Good work.

      • straffinrun

        You had me googling “zippie car”. Only thing I found was racist stuff about Japanese automakers.

      • blackjack

        Sounds like the fifth Marx brother, the hippie one from the sixties.

      • Mojeaux

        Heh.

        My car is small and has 6 cylinders. It is very zippy.

        Zippicar.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      Oh, the aquarium filter image in the comments. I bout peed myself laughing so hard.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      Scrolled down a bit and found this, in case anyone is a fan of golf.

  55. Yusef drives a Kia

    It’s 10 o’clock and still daylight? in May? I’m confused…

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Then it’s like all 84 and shit, since when?

    • creech

      Where you at? It’s only 10pm in the Eastern Zone and it’s totally dark.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Manistee! and the Western horizon is lit up, very North,

      • rhywun

        You’re at the edge of a time zone.

      • rhywun

        I expected this.

  56. Gender Traitor

    Paging Ms. Moje, if you’re still about. Just sent you a quick question via e-mail.

    • Mojeaux

      And back.

      • Gender Traitor

        AAAAAAND I just sended you the start (a pretty long start, if I do say so myself) of a story!

        (The title is a working title. Open to change if you think it needs a different one.)

      • Mojeaux

        Cool beans! I’ll read it this weekend.

      • Tejicano

        Sorry I couldn’t reply to your pointed comment above. I was summoned away by the washing machine.

      • hayeksplosives

        Hey, fellow skeptics if government control.

        I have been scant on Glibs this week, so I apologize for any unanswered comments anyone might have left for me.

        Today was “Reduction in Force” day at work. I had to call my 2 affected guys, one at a time, into an obscure conference room where I and an HR guy were waiting to deliver the news.

        I got through the first one with a stiff upper lip, and then on the second one I started crying in the middle of the scripted comments. Then I saw his eyes turn red (empathizing with me) and it didn’t help. Man, I honestly don’t yet know what we’re going to do without him.

        Anyway, after the initial shock and packing up of personal stuff from the cubes, they took me up on the offer to go to Karl Strauss brewery at noon, and I bought all the drinks for the group, which included both laid off guys and four “survivors “.

        It was an epic staff meeting/ exit interview.

        I hope they get gainfully employed soon.

      • Mojeaux

        {{{Hayeksplosives}}}

      • Chafed

        So much this.

      • Tundra

        I would be fired by you anytime.

        You are the best.

      • Tejicano

        Sorry to hear about your ordeal. It hurts when things like that are beyond your control.

      • Ownbestenemy

        That sucks but like Tundra said, if I were to be let go I hope it’s someone cut from your cloth

      • slumbrew

        Wait, I’ve seen this episode

        Seriously, that sucks HE. Sorry you have to deal with that.

      • Chafed

        slumbrew going deep into the archives. Good call.

      • hayeksplosives

        Lol. Definitely not cut out to be a routine hatchet man.

      • slumbrew

        I think that’s why that episode has stuck with me – (almost) nobody is; Norm quickly became callous about the job, but was tortured by it.

        Favorite line:

        Sir, I will have you know that I cannot be bought, and I cannot be threatened, but you put the two together and I’m your man.

      • hayeksplosives

        Cheers had some good writers. I watched it growing up. I tried to watch some more recently but I can’t hack the canned laughter anymore.

        One of the greatest pieces of dialog in it was Cliff Claven explaining alcohol, brain cells, and buffalo.

      • Sean

        @HE.

        Yes.

      • SandMan

        Wow that’s rough. You are a great boss/person, no doubt.

      • straffinrun

        Tough spot. You’re a good one, HE.

      • hayeksplosives

        Thanks, y’all.

        It was tough. Only time will tell who the lucky ones really are.

        This is military appreciation month, but the two guys I had to let go were my two marine corps veterans. One of them is getting married next week.

        But our dear leaders decided they were for the chop, despite my protests to the contrary.

        When 2 pm rolled around, we were still there, but it was time for our scheduled staff meeting. So I plunked my cell phone in the middle of the table and three more “survivors” dialed in.

        I gave the “post notification” scripted comments and then we all let loose. It was pretty hilarious.

        But i never want to do this again. If the company makes a major course correction to try and get healthy, we might be ok in the long run. If they think the RIF was enough, I’m polishing up the ol’ resume myself.

      • Gender Traitor

        A friend of mine was the one person I’ve met that I thought was a natch for HR – in the good way. She once described having to fire someone – in this case not due to a forced RIF but because he just wasn’t working out. When she was done, she says he thanked her. I believe she asked him why, and he said she had left him with his dignity.

        I miss her. We met sitting next to each other at our local minor league baseball games, but then she moved out of the area.

        So sorry you had to do that, but at least you were able to act – and treat each of the people involved – like a human being.

      • Festus

        Second this. I had to do that in a previous life. Sometimes it is easy, even satisfying, other times it breaks your heart. Good on HE for standing the tab!

      • TARDis

        So sorry you had to do this. It’s bad enough when someone needs to go because they aren’t a good employee. When it’s someone you want to keep, then it really sucks.

  57. Yusef drives a Kia

    Howdy Glibs, it’s I’m not looking forward to today Friday, understaffed and under deadlines, and I can’t serve two masters,
    Blech, already sick to my stomach thinking about it.

    • Sean

      But it’s Friday….

      Yay Friday!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        true, another 10 hours or so and I’ll be free to Gambol again,
        Covfefe! Sir!

      • TARDis

        Good luck!

      • Festus

        I miss covfefe! Can’t stomach it no mo.

      • Gender Traitor

        🙁 Not even milked up? That’s a shame. Is tea still OK for you?

      • Festus

        One giant mug with milk and sugar, daily. I’ve been a tea granny since i was about 7-8 years old. Thanks, British Grandma!

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Yu! Don’t sicken yourself worrying about getting it all done. You’re just one person, and all you can do is all you can do. Your bosses will have to realize that. And like Sean said – it’s Friday!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I just don’t feel like rushing around all day, getting nothing done, but it is Friday,
        Covfefe! Diem!!

      • Festus

        Do what you can. If it gets to the crisis point they’ll just have to hire a helper.

      • rhywun

        Yay Friday. And for once I don’t have any scheduled work over the weekend.

    • TARDis

      No kidding. That was bad.

      • Festus

        She’s cute. Annoyingly cute.

    • Gender Traitor

      Awwwww!!! So sweet! 🙂

      Good morning, TARDy!

    • rhywun

      cute overload

    • Sean

      Adorbs.

  58. UnCivilServant

    Morning, Glibs.

    My goal for the weekend is to finish the first draft of “Prince of the North Tower” I’m so close I can almost taste it.

    That reminds me, I need breakfast too.

    • TARDis

      Good morning. Hope it goes well for you.

      • UnCivilServant

        Thanks.

        First I have to get through the workday.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, U! I’m excited for you to be this close to completing “Prince”! If there’s anything I can do to help in my beta-reading capacity, just say – or write, I should say – the word!

      • UnCivilServant

        You’ve read up to where I’ve got. The only plot beat left is ending the siege. After that it’s an epilogue, and I always figured I’d round out the tale with a ‘where are they now’ for the characters since the framing device has it being written some time in the future of the events in-universe.

      • Gender Traitor

        Can’t wait!

        My goal for the weekend is to clean at least the bathroom and kitchen before we have a friend over Monday evening to join us for dinner. She’s been fighting breast cancer, and she just found out her cancer’s back. 🙁 (I don’t know where or how bad.) At least she has cats, so if I don’t get up all the cat hair, she won’t mind so much.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That sucks. Sorry to hear that.

      • Festus

        Sorry. Lost two old compadres in the last week or so. One was 50 and the other a year older than me. Both described as “sudden”. That ain’t good.

  59. Yusef drives a Kia

    I love McDonalds covfefe, and find their Blueberry muffins uncommonly good,

    • Festus

      McDonalds double cheeseburger is my twice weekly pleasure between sites. If I’m feeling really peckish, the Quarter Pounder BLT is actually decent junk food. I could eat sausage Mcmuffins everyday but I don’t.

  60. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Good morning.

    Who wants to trade positions with me today?

    I’m driving for four hours to pick up number one son and all his dorm crap.

    And I just broke two toes because I’m a duck footed dumbass who can’t walk thru doorways properly.

    • Gender Traitor

      Owwwwwww!!!!! 🙁 Good morning anyway, Scruffy!

      And thanks for the offer, but I’ll pass on trading positions – I’m starting my “virtual vacation” today because my boss is off until June 1, and as of yesterday, I’d finally caught up on processing the mountain of returned mail. Of course, more may arrive with today’s snail mail, but at least it’s not the huge backlog that piles up at the end every quarter.

      I hope your foot feels better soon and that #1 son has lots of friends still at school to help him lug all his crap to your car.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I can hope. But I’m betting friendly help isn’t going to happen. It’s a school of the arts. They don’t exactly emphasize traits commonly associated with the Boy Scouts.

    • TARDis

      Oh that sucks. Sorry. Been there, done that. I can still feel it. Like my toe is a twig in my shoe. Hope it heals okay for you.

      I hated taping my toes together every morning.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        My days as a toe model are over thankfully.

  61. Festus

    Drama at work last night. One of the couriers tested positive. We had to drag out the unboxed sprayer for my assistant to use and wield it with literally no training. I’m trying to do my job so it took her about four tries to get it right. At one point the the tank was leaking everywhere until I installed the hose correctly. She was wearing the spacesuit and full respirator, I was wearing cargo shorts and a polo shirt. Stuff got all over my hands not to mention whatever fumes I breathed in. The chemical is called “Facide” which may be telling. If I next appear on the Zoom with a finger growing out of my forehead, you’ll know who to blame…

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      They were using some kind of fogger my at work when someone tested positive but that fell by the wayside pretty quickly. I thought surface transmission was largely disproven but most of this stuff ain’t science driven anyway.

      • rhywun

        My city is spending hundreds of millions of dollars on an annual basis to “disinfect” subway cars and stations every night.

        They said they won’t stop doing it—ever.

        It turns out the ‘vid is a jobs program. Who knew?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Maybe the mayor’s third cousin once removed owns the equipment rental or something.

      • rhywun

        New York state controls the subway system.

        I can’t imagine Cuomo having any “family business” on the side… can you?

      • Festus

        Jenn’s entire job at Canada Post is wiping down touch points. Good for her getting some extra hours in and on the plus side, she’s a true believer. Probably feels satisfying to kill all those nasty viruses.

      • Sean

        My penis is a touch point.

      • Festus

        Mine is in the swim-suit area!

      • Festus

        Have you ever been to Canada? Ever visited a “super-woke” union shop? The General Manager admitted out loud that it was more about optics than risk. Yet here we are. They knew on Wednesday and nothing happened until technically Friday morning. She had to spray the floor. I reiterate, THE FLOOR.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’ve been to canada… to visit.

        I haven’t been to a super woke unions shop, thankfully.

      • Sean

        I think I mentioned this before, but the gf had a covid safety workshop where the presenter recommended indoor shoes for the kids because they might track covid into school. This was fairly recent too.

      • UnCivilServant

        Did she ask when the presenter had developed the habit of licking floors?

      • Sean

        No, but she sure told me her thoughts on it.

      • Tejicano

        Talking with a couple guys in the office – one a fairly well educated EE – referred to the “Korona-kin”. Basically he is calling it the “Corona bacteria”.

        After a year and change with this bug and people still really have no freaking idea what we are dealing with. They act like this virus is floating in the air, multiplying, and anybody who catches a single virus is heading to the hospital.

      • Festus

        They’re treating this like radioactivity. Fucking ridiculous.

      • robc

        As if. Considering the background levels of radiation, we would be going everywhere in bubble suits if they treated radioactivity like covid.

      • Festus

        You know what I meant.

      • Festus

        Oh yeah, I was probably exposed to the dude at both of my sites. I’m DOOOOOOOOOMED.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Facide? Sounds like it will kill your face.

      That reminds me of my favorite dad joke when the kids complain of a headache.

      “How does your face feel?”

      “Okay I guess.”

      “Because it’s killing me.”

      • Festus

        Jenn joked that it sounded like a commercial for “infanticide” and I quipped that it read as a kinder, gentler version of Zyklon B. Regardless, I got it all over my stupid hands because she was wearing the backpack and I wasn’t wearing gloves. Sometimes you just do stupid fucking shit in the moment.

    • TARDis

      “What’s your job?”
      “Sewer shit tester.”
      “Sucks to be you.”

      This gives me an idea for a happy, but bloody short story. The dogs, not the poo.

  62. Tres Cool

    suh’ fam ?
    whats goody

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, homey! Since I’ve gone and put myself in ’80s mode, here’s something goody.

      I think I’ll fire up my little portable satellite radio – the one I have to keep flat on its back so the dial wheel and select button don’t fall off – in my office today and have myself an ’80s party all day long.

      • Tres Cool

        I have a Sirius Stiletto 2 laying around here someplace.

  63. Tres Cool

    I had to endure a mind-scaldingly stupid “diversity & acceptance” vid last night for “training”. I so wanted to ask the HR woman if it meant I was no longer allowed to call her sugar-tits.

    • Festus

      “Jugsy” is acceptable.

      • Tres Cool

        Nah, this broad is tiny. My tits are likely larger than hers. And like most HR, she’s totally batshit insane.

      • Festus

        Huh. “Spinner”?

  64. The Late P Brooks

    It turns out the ‘vid is a jobs program. Who knew?

    I think some of us may have had our suspicions.

    • Festus

      My company is milking their clients for all they are worth. Special hires, “Hero” pay, you name it.

  65. Sean

    https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2021/05/california-county-requires-businesses-submit-covid-19-vaccination-status-employees/

    There won’t be any violent confrontations over this. Nope. None.

    Employees are told to document and snitch on fellow co-workers if they won’t tell fellow colleagues whether they are vaccinated – then treat them like dirty virus bags and stay away from them.

    “You must document that the worker declined to disclose his or her vaccination status, assume that they are not fully vaccinated, and follow all the rules that apply to workers who are not fully vaccinated.” the order said.

    • Festus

      Someone has to create a coronavirus armband that looks like those sticky things that you chucked at the wall from the 90’s that would crawl down.

      • Sean

        Wacky Wallwalkers.

      • Tejicano

        I can think of a simplified, more geometric symbol similar to that….

    • rhywun

      Enraging.

    • Festus

      That’s more of a Tonio joint. I’ll keep the prick to one only, thank you very much!

    • Tejicano

      Something tells me that calling a doctor if it lasts more than 4 hours isn’t going to help much.

    • ignoreLander

      endless pricks

      But enough about politicians, let’s talk about politicians!