5am. It’s the time that Tom’s Cafe opened every day but Sunday, when it opened at 6am. It was a pastime for members of our fraternity house to stay up all night drinking and then head over to Tom’s for Biscuits and Gravy ($1.50 for a giant plate!). It was a tiny little place, a hole in the wall as they say. There wasn’t even a smoking section, you could just smoke anywhere. Of course, this was several years ago.
After my freshman year, the kind Greek waitress (50ish and showed it in every way) even knew me and my friends by name. In her accent she would always ask, “You boys been playing poker all night again?” Of course we answered “yes”, no matter what our previous night’s antics entailed. She seemingly loved us and only one time did she ever seem annoyed with us. She didn’t like the morning that we were literally falling over, I guess it didn’t go over well with the family environment.
My first time heading to Tom’s was quite an adventure. It was probably my second week of college. As I stayed up drinking all night with a group of guys, they kept saying this place, Tom’s, would be open soon and we’d get breakfast. I was all for it. They really talked the place up and I was getting excited as my drunken stupor intensified my hunger. It was almost 5 and there were about 12 of us getting ready to go. Now, it was close enough to walk, but being lazy and in a place where minor consumption’s were the norm, driving seemed like a better option (at the time, I was young and dumb, that’s all I can say).
So simple, so delicious.
The group that was raring to go was almost all freshman, save for two seniors. No one in the group had a car, especially not one to hold all 12 people. That led us to a another quite wise decision, we went into Adam’s room and took the keys to his truck. Clearly, drunken driving a stolen truck with a bunch of people in the bed was a great idea. I hopped in the passenger seat next to Brian and everyone else made their way to the bed. We proceeded to Tom’s uneventfully. There I had the best breakfast I may have ever had. And I met that wonderful Greek waitress. What a great experience. And it really brought on our second wind.
We hopped in the truck to head back. I snagged shotgun again and we were off. The crowd in the back of the pickup got a little rowdy on the way home. There was some yelling, maybe throwing of a beer can or two, and even one guy trying to “surf” around the turns. I don’t know it how it happened with us being so inconspicuous, but a fine law enforcement officer somehow saw us. Brian saw him as we passed by the 7-11 where he was sitting. Brian knew, being an intoxicated minor and all, that we could be in some serious trouble. He turned onto an alley, hoping the officer didn’t see us turn and allowing us to get home. It was only four or five blocks at that point.
Brian wasn’t so lucky though. In that alley, as the sun was fresh in the sky, the lights turned on behind us. Brian looked at me like he wanted to run. I just looked at him and then looked back at the group in the bed. There was no way to run without flinging people out. Brian hung his head down and pulled to the side of the alley.
The officer walked up to the window just glancing at the overcrowding of people in the back. He asked Brian where we were going and Brian pointed down the street said “just a few more blocks”. He asked for a license and registration. Brian fumbled around looking for a registration. It dawned on me at that point that we never asked to take the truck, it was essentially stolen. He found it and handed it over. The officer looked rather annoyed, but hadn’t said anything about the large drunk group. As he walked back to his car to run the license and registration he looked at the 10 wary folk and said, “It smells a lot like booze, boys.” At that point the only person who was 21 in our entire group chimed up, “Well officer, that’s because we’ve been up all night drinking.” Laughter broke out among a few, as others looked shocked by the comment.
The officer spent some time back at his car. I assume checking for any open warrants. When he returned, he asked if we had permission to be in Adam’s truck. We assured him in our staggered speech that we did. He asked how far we were going one more time. We told him the cross streets. He had a certain look on his face, a little bewildered, or maybe just a little overwhelmed. But he looked at us, then looked at the 10 drunks in the bed, then back at us. His voice got very stern as he looked Brian straight in the eyes, “I want you to head straight home, do not stop anywhere. And I NEVER want to see your faces again.” Brian replied quickly and affirmatively, “Absolutely sir.” We headed straight back with no further issues. Brian put Adam’s keys back and the event was over.
My own thoughts on why he let us go are fairly simple. He thought he was going to have an easy shift. It was after 7am when he pulled us over. He didn’t want the headache of dealing with a bunch of paperwork. I think he just wanted his donut and an easy shift. Maybe he felt a little sympathy for a group of kids, but I doubt it.
We were also lucky that he was a city cop. I have no doubt that the University Police would have taken us all to jail. It’s something they loved to do, minor consumption’s were easy busts for them. And we were in one of two counties in the state that didn’t ticket arrest for minor consumption’s, but actually took you to jail. And I’d like to tell you that we learned our lesson and never drove drunk to Tom’s ever again, but that would just be a lie.
Thankfully I only had a few occasions where I got *really* drunk, and wasn’t around automobiles for any of them.
I was a passenger one time when the driver wasn’t in good enough shape to drive. I never got in a car with him again. My group of friends was pretty good about arranging transport, drinking at one of our places, and/or just walking if we were drinking heavily. Often, I was the DD. I didn’t drink on school nights but a handful of times.
If he didn’t want you driving his truck, he shouldn’t have left his keys out.
Roy Diamond, is that you?
Reference https://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/fl-xpm-1989-10-08-8902030405-story.html
Great story, we were sooo stupid growing up,
*puffs out chest*
I still am!
Amen
Goddamnit I never had any encounters with the police. Stop making me feel so uncool.
Square.
I was definitely a square, and still am. It’s a good thing I stayed out of jail, but I can’t help but think I missed out on some fun in my life.
I was so square that I didn’t drink until I was 21.
In my Junior year in college, friends took me to Hideaway pizza joint on my 21st birthday. I drank mg first beer: Coors.
It was so nasty that I figured beet was just not for me. This was before the microbrew Renaissance ushered in by Sam Adams.
In a way, I have shitty American beer to thank for allowing me to continue focusing on my engineering degree til graduation.
(I more than made up for my teetotal years since then…)
oh I was an uncool nerd in every way but I always drank a lot. Then again when I was a kid in countryside Romania there was no concept of age restriction.
I was forced to give a bribe to the police when I forgot to take my “internal passport” with me when I stepped out from my dorm in Moscow. It was in the late ’90s. They were checking for a record of residence registration (propiska) in the passport.
I never had this type of experience growing up, perhaps I learned from my brother, who did. I remember one night he and his high school friends decided to drive from Indiana to Milwaukee and hit a few bars because the drinking age was 18. Then they got a flat tire. (This was before cell phones). He arrived home at 4 or 5 in the morning, greeted by my mom and dad who had been up all night worrying. Even at age 12 I had figured out it’s best to lay low and hide in my room at times like these.
I’m sure his college experiences were very similar to yours.
Now, it was close enough to walk
See, when I’ve had too much to eat or drink (at least, up to the point of staggering), I prefer a short walk. Settles thing down.
My own thoughts on why he let us go are fairly simple. He thought he was going to have an easy shift. It was after 7am when he pulled us over. He didn’t want the headache of dealing with a bunch of paperwork. I think he just wanted his donut and an easy shift. Maybe he felt a little sympathy for a group of kids, but I doubt it.
Yeah, he wanted the easy shift.
Either early in the month, and he wasn’t worried (yet) about getting his quota, or late in the month and he’d already bagged his quota, would be my guess.
Most likely, he knew there were far more serious crimes being perpetrated by dangerous malcontents and he could protect and serve his community better by seeking those out rather than harassing some otherwise peaceable drunks.
#BackTheBlue
Not just paperwork. 12 drunks won’t fit in the back of a squad car, plus trying to coral them in the first place. Worse than herding cats and guaranteed at least half escape which means more time looking for them.
Also guaranteed: one of the drunks pukes in the car
ehm how about white privilege huh?
Glad no one got seriously hurt. For all the DUIs that get written up, there must be at least a couple more that make it from point A to point B undetected. And then there are the ones that end in tragedy.
On the subject of crashes, this gem came to mind today from nowhere:
A-Team’s Howling Mad Murdock on being accused of crashing a plane: “No, No, no! I simply relocated the aircraft with extreme prejudice because of a total loss of thrust and lift functions!”
.
:
!
¡
‽
where the giff at?
Is there any sort of emh lets say gentleman’s agreement between students and student town cops don’t get to crazy and we mostly let you be?
The surrounding town cops are pretty reasonable but the University cops (or Campus Cops) are another breed entirely.
They are trained law enforcement, carrying guns and driving squad cars etc. But they somehow are far more like busybody Karens but with the power to shoot you or arrest you. They skew young and love a good power trip.
Back in the day, their jurisdiction ended at the campus border. But now most of them can exercise their power over students (or suspected students) in the larger surrounding community.
They won’t cut anyone slack for anything.
But they somehow are far more like busybody Karens
Likely because they are virtually never at risk (like Karens) and have to find some justification for their existence. When all you run across is minor crap, well, you are going to come down on minor crap like a ton of donuts.
My 1st project in NYC in the mid 90s, and doe-eyed Tres asked the woman from the state that was observing us “seems like a lot of people here (Queens, NYC) drink a lot. Lots of DUIs ?” She said, “cops have other shit to do….maybe if you kill a pedestrian or something.”
Not ironically, I got arrested on that trip. But not for a DUI.
public masturbation should not lead to an arrest
Yeah, but when you’re masturbating in St. Patrick’s Cathedral, that’s a different thing.
“Stampeding cattle isnt much of a qualification.”
“Through the Vatican?”
“Kinky. I like it.”
– Blazing Saddles
“Or something.”
Like selling loose cigarettes while black.
Not ironically, I got arrested on that trip.
You killed a pedestrian? Hardcore, bro.
Depends on the school and the city.
There’s a suburb on the east side of Cleveland that was my old stomping ground in the days of my misspent youth. When the bars closed every night, there were cops in the street directing traffic, they could have probably randomly pulled people over and gotten a huge number of drunks. Basically, unless you were puking out the window, or hitting cars/curbs, you would get out of this little area. After that, you may get picked up, but they seemed to understand if they cracked down hard, the bars/restaurants in the area would complain as the revenue dropped off.
Only if you are Thornton Melon.
x3 Lindy
I didn’t do anything like that, and I’m glad. I just made stupid financial decisions that affected the rest of my life, and I’m not glad.
If you saw my monthly beer bill, you’d think it was a horrid financial decision, too.
You get my last email ?
Yep. Haven’t had a chance to read it yet. At doc’s ATM.
Reminds me of a night in 29 Palms.
I was in artillery and we finished a 3 week field op on a Friday. My wife made a ginourmous batch of her spaghetti for me and a few buddies. we had a few beers with dinner, but nothing crazy. we then took two vehicles to Joe’s house and were going to get a taxi to the bar.
I was riding with Joe, he had a 1970 something step side GMC pickup with a hot rod 327 in it. At a stop sign, he grins and says”watch this.” he floors it, there was sand on the road, so he lost control, and we missed a house by 2 feet.We wound up stuck in the sand next to the empty house. Our other buddies in the car stopped and we all were trying to dig out the truck. Then a cop shows up, 6 drunk Marines trying to dig out one truck.
Joe says to us “It’s my truck, I’ll tell him I was by myself and you guys just happened by to help.”
That cop wanted nothing to do with us, he got out of his vehicle and from about 20 feet away asked what happened.
Joe: “I got on it a little heavy and wound up stuck.”
Cop:” I get off shift at 7 am, that truck won’t be here then will it?”
All of us: “No sir, it’ll be gone before that.”
Cop: “It’d better be.”
Then he left so we went to Joe’s house, got a taxi and went out.We got back around 3 and slept a couple hours at Joe’s. Then we went to the barracks to find someone with a truck and were able to meet the deadline.
If I tried to drink til 3 and wake up a couple hours later to pull out a truck, I would not survive the attempt.
At Ft. Hood, a buddy (and part of our little group of friends) was coming back from Desert Storm. Me and some idiot friends decided that the bus trip from the airfield to post was too impersonal, and we’d (drunkenly) collect him ourselves. One friend worked in S-2 (intel) and had a legit reason to meet the plane, in case they had anything classified that needed secured. The plane was late. Me and intel-buddy got shit-faced drunk, got in uniform, and under arms, drove a HMMV (with a case of beer on ice) to Robert Gray Army Airfield to get our friend. Waiting for the plane to unload, we could barely stand and used our M16s to hold us up.
Some crusty, grumpy, Sergeant Major came over to us and said “You two OK? Why are you here.”
“To pick up Sergeant Roberts, Saranmajor.”
He looked kinda pissed and said, “be careful and make sure he has a good homecoming”
“yes saranmajor!”
Driving back to post, in uniform, under arms, with 3 open beers in a HMMV….if the MPs got us we’d all still be in Leavenworth.
I got married young and was a boring old man by the time I hit 20.
The people I worked with after I first got out of college were wild men. They would start drinking at happy hour on Friday and continue until late Sunday. Monday morning they would sit around trying to remember all the shit they did that weekend.
One story that comes to mind ends with one of the guys stealing a snare drum while the band was on break at one of the bars they hit Saturday night.
It’s a drummer joke: The drummer didn’t notice the snare drum was missing.
The same crew were leaving a hotel bar after happy hour. They got into an old Bronco and ran into something when they were backing up. They got out and found they had back into a set of patio furniture. So they opened the back of the Bronco and threw in the patio furniture.
They had many stories of different stuff they broke or stole while shit-faced.
OT: NBC interviews an Olympic diver, and points out his parents in the stands.
Diver: “Yeah, it’s great to see them again! I don’t see them very often, with them locked away in California like they are.”
?
That diver is brave to speak the truth.
trshy:
Saw your thoughtful reply on “goodness”. Interesting. Thanks.
Yeah, its a definitional thing, I guess. If “good” to means “unattainably perfect” in Christian theology, that’s fine, I guess. That’s not what I use to mean, though.
Glad you saw it! I saw there was a new thread after I hit go on it and figured it was wasted effort.
I’m typing on the phone at the car wash, so I’m not gonna be able to type out much, despite enjoying the conversation. I’ll only say that I’m not a Good person whether or not I’m a good person. The hardest question I ask myself is whether, as evidenced by my priorities and actions, I care more about being a good person in the eyes of other people or whether Im willing to let that go and admit my lack of Goodness in the eyes of God.
I care more about being a good person in the eyes of other people or whether Im willing to let that go and admit my lack of Goodness in the eyes of God.
Por que no los dos?
Seems like admitting your lack of Goodness, and still trying to be a good person in the eyes of others, are both possible at the same time. I think (but who knows) that I am more concerned with being a good person on my own terms, rather than in the eyes of others. Who often, as far as I can tell, have little if any expertise on being a good person.
https://thehill.com/policy/healthcare/557984-fda-says-60-million-jj-vaccine-doses-from-troubled-plant-must-be-thrown-out
Yowza. That’s some bad PR right there.
I read this earlier today. The only thing scarier was Ozy’s book. What a fucking clown show.
Should you get vaccinated?
Steve Kirsch’s site is good. He was on Bret Weinstein’s Dark Horse podcast/livestream yesterday, which is now available on YouTube. It’s a bit longish (just over three hours), but if you listen to it at 1.5 playback speed, it’s not too bad (everyone just sounds like they’re hopped up on caffeine).
Ivermectin’s gonna be Bret’s next big win, I’m betting:
https://twitter.com/AbdenurFlavio/status/1398717229366235141
Yeah, it’s great. Although rage inducing.
Yeah, there should be some justice for the assholes who got ivermectin and hydroxychloroquine taken off the list of “acceptable” treatments just because they wanted to own OMB.
Unfortunately, that article is a dog’s breakfast of points. It would have been far better for him to issue a series of articles addressing each point in turn. I’m sincerely concerned about a number of the items he’s brought up, but that format is terrible for addressing the issues in a calm, coherent manner.
Listen to the podcast. He’s anything but calm.
I’m getting there, myself.
That’s the point. If this is to be taken seriously, it needs to be addressed seriously. People aren’t going to listen to a 3 hour podcast or read a 36,000-plus (!) blog post that covers everything from vaccine side effects to alternatives to vaccination to the politics of vaccination to recommendations to politicians of what to do about this. It’s a mess, not a well reasoned treatment of a situation of significant concern to the world.
“…36,000-plus word blog post…
Buried lede
Who could have foreseen manufacturing problems by BioPort??
Are they going to give those out at Dollar Tree or something? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.
I’ve said from the get-go that I’m not confident in the safety of these rushed-out vaccines, and I have the bad feeling that I’m going to be proven right more and more. I’m seriously not gleeful about this; I wish they were safe. Most of my friends and family ran out to get the shots as soon as they were available.
The spousal unit got vaxxed. We talked about it beforehand. I’m very worried about it, but I’m trying not to talk to her too much, ’cause it’s too late now and I’d rather spare her the worry, if nothing else. :-(
Didnt they get caught mixing the stuff up in five gallon buckets in the basement and stirring the wrong ingredients in with a boat paddle?
I, for one, am sold. Where can I get mine?
You are mistaken. That was how ballots were produced in 2020.
+1 Chad, hanging-type, 1 ea.
They need to contribute harder. Duh.
Romanians queue for COVID-19 vaccine and free barbecue at bustling market
https://www.reuters.com/world/europe/romanians-queue-covid-19-vaccine-free-barbecue-bustling-market-2021-06-11/?
speaking of uncool how vwery lame
They give free donuts here.
So encourage behavior that leads to conditions that increase your risk from Covid-19. Nice. Typical. No need to modify your behavior, there are no consequences, everything is equally valid! We’ll just stuff a pharmaceutical into you, carry on.
*Barely not experimental pharmaceutical
No, still experimental.
My current employer, Kroger Inc. is paying a $100 bonus to their employees that show proof of vaccination. Not for me, cause Im on a contract.
Why? https://www.cbs46.com/news/kroger-offering-big-incentives-to-those-who-get-vaccinated/article_d8153c06-c55e-11eb-99a8-13d781c81ff2.html
And as a publicly traded company with around 600,000 full-time employees- who pays for that ?
Who pays for it?
Either the customers or the shareholders. Or both.
Or employees, through reduced pay/benefits elsewhere.
I had a fraternity brother who had the supernatural ability to avoid God’s wrath. The problem was, every time he dodged a smiting, it hit whoever was near to him.
There were a group of us — one sober driver, karma-dodger in the passenger seat, three more drunks in the back. Brother K-D throws a half-full beer bottle out the window, striking a parked but occupied cop car. The only sober guy gets arrested. I get put in charge of the car by the cop.
Did you later enforce vigilante karma on the guy?
Sounds like he deserved some.
Anyone who sits silent while somebody gets arrested, right in front of them, for something they did, deserves the old “bars of soap in a pillowcase”. That is seriously scummy.
Yeah, that’s a guy you leave behind after that.
Soap is too soft.
I’m a fan of lead ingots, myself — just soft enough that they impart most of their energy into the douchebag, rather than partially rebounding (not unlike a deadblow hammer). Plus you don’t have to swing so many times to achieve a significant effect.
Blanket parties are not pillow parties.
The arrest was for transporting an open container. Obviously the driver didn’t skyhook the bottle to hit the cop car. But yes, Edgar Allen was scummy.
Speaking of cops: Yas queen! SLAY!
Kamala Harris snaps at reporter for asking when she will go to the border, won’t say when she will visit
I can’t wait for the pre-Harris administration to morph into the Harris administration because nasally condescension/derision tight.
Honestly, the whole “Kamala hasn’t visited the border” schtick is just a cheap attack point.
Who cares if she has a photo-op there? What possible difference would it make? The problem is not a lack of narcissitic politicians preening for the cameras in front of the border, so a narcissitic politician preening for the cameras in front of the border isn’t a solution to anything.
Indeed; I’d be ragging on her for a cheap useless photo-op and disrupting everything with her royal presence. If you really want to do something about the border, I’d prefer you actually go work on a solution. Wasting everyone’s time with a staged photo-op to “show how much you care” – worse than useless.
Of course. But she can’t even do the basic stupid and otherwise pointless thing that politicians usually do and she is just awful at interviews. That is a certain, special type of incompetence.
And I will be surprised if her special type of incompetence isn’t promoted to the Big Chair before 2024.
True, but it IS worth pointing out that the amount of fucks given from the Left about the border situation has plummeted since Trump left office. Golly, if I were a cynical person, I might even point out that nobody cared when Obama was in office either – it’s almost like they only pretended to care about “children in cages” so they’d have a cudgel to use against the Bad Orange Man.
I mean, they weren’t shy about comparing the border situation to the Holocaust. If that were an accurate characterization, they’d be screaming for Biden to put a stop to it on day one. It says a lot that it’s still been going on for several months and the Left seems to regard it as old news.
it IS worth pointing out that the amount of fucks given from the Left about the border situation has plummeted since Trump left office
I suppose. I don’t think pointing it out will make the least bit of difference, though.
they’d be screaming for Biden to put a stop to it on day one
There is still some of that, but their solution to stopping the border situation is to remove the border not step up enforcement and quit incentivizing migration.
She can wear a white suit and pretend to cry at a fence.
“I can’t wear white; it makes my ass look fat.”
“Uh, Ma’am, it’s your ass that makes your ass look fat.”
True, but she could at least meet with border experts, like AOC.
I’m not sure it will. I think the recent Kamala attacks might be from Biden string pullers trying to hold onto power. Or third party trying to sabotage her.
I’m pretty well convinced that the string-puller behind the Biden administration is Obama. I could see Obama and Harris having a falling out. I wonder if that’s what’s really going on.
Maybe? Or they never had a real falling in to start with?
I just find it off that Lester Holt of all people is suddenly the one asking her follow up questions.
Well, you couldn’t have a white guy badgering a POC with follow-up questions. Bad optics.
Somebody wants her out of the spotlight. Just like somebody wants Fauci to go away. I don’t know who that somebody is, but they have a lot of power in the institutional left.
There are rumors of a mafiosa donna, Hilaria Clintone.
I think it must be Obama. I can’t think who else could or would be pulling the leftist strings like this. The Biden administration is rotten with Obama operatives, after all. Obama broke precedent and stayed in DC for a reason.
I hope you like paying ever more for energy.
Former Vice President Al Gore privately urged President Joe Biden to keep hundreds of billions of spending to subsidize green industries and even kill another proposed oil pipeline.
Gore called Biden personally and demanded he include billions of climate spending in his infrastructure bill, according to a report in the Washington Post.
Gore was encouraged to contact Biden by John Podesta, the former manager for Hillary Clinton’s failed presidential campaign. Podesta’s influence has waned sharply after Clinton lost to former President Donald Trump in 2016.
Gore continues lobbying for more government spending to combat climate change, a mantle he claimed after losing his own race for president to George W. Bush in 2000.
Gore, Biden, Clinton, Podesta, spending, and energy concerns.
Sounds legit.
“Gore continues lobbying for more government spending to
combat climate changeprop up his energy stock portfolio.”I’ve been arrested six or seven times. All were for minor offenses with no jail time. So, aside from a time or two I ran from a cop and escaped and walked away after a body search while holding nothing interesting happened…I’ve committed hundreds of felonies in my youth that I’m not particularly proud of now including violating FAA regulations and a completely unintended, 3 Degrees of Kevin Bacon kinda responsibility for somebody’s death.
And that’s all I have to say about that.