Blowin’ Through the Jasmine in my Mind

by | Jun 22, 2021 | Fiction, Prepper, Social Justice | 236 comments

In a field one summer’s day, Greyson Grasshopper was hopping about, playing air guitar, and singing to his heart’s content.  Anders and Edison Ant passed by, bearing along with great toil an ear of corn they were taking to the nest.

“Why not come and chat with me,” said Greyson, “instead of toiling and moiling in that way?”

“We are helping to lay up food for the winter,” said Anders, “and recommend you to do the same.”

“Why bother about winter?” said Greyson. “There is plenty of food at present.”

But the Anders and Edison went on their way and continued their toil.

 

 

 

One bright day in late autumn, Anders and Edison Ant were bustling about in the warm sunshine, drying out the grain they had stored up during the summer, when Greyson Grasshopper came up and humbly begged for a bite to eat.

“What!” cried the Ants in surprise, “haven’t you stored anything away for the winter? What in the world were you doing all last summer?”

“I didn’t have time to store up any food,” whined the Greyson; “I was so busy making music that before I knew it the summer was gone.”

Anders and Edison shrugged their shoulders in disgust.  “Making music, were you?” they cried. “Well now you can just play a sad song and dance yourself away!”

And they turned their backs on Greyson and went on with their work.

 

 

The next day, Greyson Grasshopper returned with Carter Cricket and Jenna Junebug.  Jenna, dazzling with her blue iridescent shell shining in the sunlight, exclaimed “It’s not fair that you have all that food stored in there while others are going hungry!   You need to own up to your ant privilege and do the right thing here!”

“You’re crazy.  We worked hard all summer for what we have.” said Anders Ant. “We’re not giving it away to those that played around and ignored their own welfare.”

“Eat the rich!  Eat the rich!  Eat the rich!” chanted Jenna Junebug.  Greyson Grasshopper and Carter Cricket quickly joined in the chanting.  More ants came out of the store house to see what was going on.  Other insects came from all around the area and joined in.  “Eat the rich!  Eat the rich!  Eat the rich!”

Jenna turned to the crowd: “Can we get some muscle over here?”

The cockroach crew, Kadon, Jayden, Dax, and Jax pushed through to the front of the crowd.  Then they charged through the line of ants and starting carrying food out of the storehouse.  The crowd turned into the mob, and mobs do what mobs always do.   The ants were quickly overrun, and insects were carrying everything out of the storehouse that they could get their hands on.

Fletcher Firefly, and his twin sisters Flora and Fauna, were the first to throw Molotov cocktails, but they were not the only ones peacefully protesting.  Soon, the storehouse was engulfed in flames.

 

 

When it was over, Greyson Grasshopper and Anders Ant were lying on the ground coughing from all the smoke.  There were dead and dying insects all around.

Lila Ladybug stepped forward and gleefully pronounced: “Finally, we have achieved true equity in this land!”

About The Author

kinnath

kinnath

I am not a bum. I'm a jerk. I once had wealth, power, and the love of a beautiful woman. Now I only have two things: the glibs, and... uh... my booze.

236 Comments

  1. Brochettaward

    There can be only one.

    • kinnath

      The Lila Ladybugs of the world provide more value than you do.

      • Brochettaward

        I’m sorry you cannot be me. But I’m not responsible for that and you can try to be the best you that you can possibly be so no need to try and take it out on me.

      • kinnath

        You’re at least a dozen articles behind me. So fuck off.

      • Swiss Servator

        Praise God Almighty, Maker of Heaven and Earth that I am not you.

    • straffinrun

      Like you’ve never enjoyed a spit roast.

      • westernsloper

        He didn’t enjoy it. He gagged and winced.

      • Brochettaward

        They persecute all the great people in history. As First of Firsters, I am built to withstand the slings and arrows of the jealous mob. I know that in the next life I will ascend to my throne while the castors of stones will be slaves.

      • straffinrun

        Reincarnation is gonna scroll past you when you kick it.

      • TARDis

        I know that in the next life I will ascend to my throne while the castors of stones will be slaves.

        Slaves are a NAP violation. Try again, Firstie.

  2. Yusef drives a Kia

    And the Cockroaches took over the World….

    • kinnath

      yup

    • juris imprudent

      looks up at irrelevant comment preceding this one, a-yup

      • hayeksplosives

        I’m late to the party, but HAH!

        Good one.

    • DEG

      You beat me to it.

  3. trshmnstr the terrible

    We need a fables tag here. The retelling I’ve read here have been worth going back and reading again, this one included.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      yep, the Parable of the two cows comes to mind,

    • Brochettaward

      I’d like it if we tagged every article I First on. I leave these nuggets of awesome in topics. They should be remembered for them.

      • juris imprudent

        My dogs leave nuggets around the backyard that I have to remember to pick up – yours are no more noteworthy than theirs.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Preach it!

      • Ted S.

        Isn’t that what the “I Am Lame” tag is for?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        That’s default for when you don’t notice the tags,

      • blackjack

        I thought it was for when you obnoxiously obsess over something nobody else really cares about?

      • UnCivilServant

        Naw, that would go against the spirit of the site

  4. juris imprudent

    Proving that bad luck is not just a human condition.

  5. westernsloper

    Nice! Thanks.

    • kinnath

      you are welcome

  6. DEG

    Lila Ladybug stepped forward and gleefully pronounced: “Finally, we have achieved true equity in this land!”

    I’m reminded of Margaret Thatcher’s “They’d rather have the poor poorer.” response.

  7. straffinrun

    Ant Farm > Animal Farm.

  8. straffinrun

    Good story, K. But, fuck you for putting that song in my head.

    • blackjack

      But, the summer breeze makes me feel fine.

      • blackjack

        Anyway, I always thought that song sang, ” the chasms of my mind”

      • blackjack

        I was wrong. Fucking hippies!

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        I thought it was blowing through the jazz band in my mind.

      • straffinrun

        A little. That song is too sappy for me.

    • kinnath

      what song?

      • straffinrun

        Jasmine goes on the pole, not my mind.

      • blackjack

        On the main stage!

      • straffinrun

        *Sets roll of quarters on edge of stage*

      • blackjack

        Strippers have two kinds of men. Ones that pay them money and ones that don’t. It’s way better to be one and not the other.

      • straffinrun

        Those quarters were for her to do my laundry and get me a sammich.

      • Swiss Servator

        Straff knows how to shitlord!

      • Not Adahn

        Since Maid Cafes are a thing, I can only assume Glorious Nippon also has Maid Laundromats

    • kinnath

      Thanks. Sorry for the ear worm. Although I do actually like that song.

  9. blackjack

    By hatchet, axe and saw!

    • Mojeaux

      That was the earworm I got.

    • Chafed

      That’s what I was thinking.

  10. Mojeaux

    Yanno, if the grasshopper had been smart, he could have bartered his entertainment abilities for food. Winter evenings get long and boring.

    • blackjack

      If only bugs people had something like the NAP.

  11. blackjack

    If only someone had called out, stop the madness!

    • kinnath

      oops on the link

      • blackjack

        Dammit! Try this!

  12. straffinrun

    I can’t tell when you wonderful people are being sarcastic.

    • kinnath

      good

    • UnCivilServant

      Err on the side of usually.

      • straffinrun

        Thanks.

      • westernsloper

        I would side on the edge of always.

    • Sensei

      You’ve been in the land of the rising sun too long.

      Has anyone been successful in really explaining English language sarcasm to English as a second language speakers?

      I’ve had some luck with some South American Spanish speakers and a few Chinese friends. I’ve completely failed with all my Japanese friends, Spaniards, Italians and Germans. Thinking about it mixed results with French.

      • Swiss Servator

        I almost…almost, succeeded with Germans after 8 months.

  13. Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

    This reads like an edgier version of that socialist fish children’s book.

    • Mojeaux

      The Rainbow Fish.

      XX got that when she was a toddler. I don’t remember who gave it to her. I read it and promptly threw it out.

      • kinnath

        Never heard of that until I googled it a few minutes ago.

        I am so glad my kids grew up before this shit.

      • blackjack

        Too bad there wasn’t anything you use it to wrap.

    • westernsloper

      Fuck that. I am going full Toobin during the next happy hour.

      • straffinrun

        Better than the Stelter thing you’ve been doing.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        This is getting weird

      • westernsloper

        I have no idea what that means so I am with you.

      • blackjack

        I’d let her give me her roll of quarters.

      • blackjack

        Which reminds me of the old joke about the guy decided to pimp out his wife. He sent her out in the morning and she was gone all day. When she finally returned, he asked her how she did. She said she made 120 dollars and 25 cents. The husband asked, ” who’s the cheap bastard that only gave you a quarter?”

        She hefted up two huge bags of change and said, ” they all did!”

      • straffinrun

        Heard that by Norm M. on Conan.

      • blackjack

        It goes back to at least when I was a kid.

      • westernsloper

        I’m wearing sandals with socks so I am not sure I can dance like that.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        Sloper,

        This is a late reply, don’t know it you’ll see it.

        That said, I wanted to let you know that you are the cynical misanthrope that I have always aspired to be. Thank you for your inspiration.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      If I were an Olympian, I’d be getting as much action with as many hyper-fit and attractively symmetrical females as possible.

      Asking those athletes not to is a crime against the future of the human race.

      • blackjack

        I’d be inclined to side with you on this, if I hadn’t have seen the female weightlifters.

      • Sensei

        I believe that is usually what happens there and is pretty well known.

      • Swiss Servator

        Indeed. A couple of Summer Games ago, they reported a condom shortage….

      • slumbrew

        The boning in the Olympic Village is legendary.

    • Sensei

      I managed to work that condom ridiculousness into a staff meeting at work. I was quite proud.

      My boss asked me what I’d heard recently about the Olympics in Tokyo and I said they are giving 150k quantity of condoms that they are under orders not use there.

      You could hear a pin drop and suddenly everyone started laughing.

      • straffinrun

        It’s a very Japanese way of handling stuff.

      • Sensei

        In the article I read the manufacturers were disappointed because they couldn’t give out their thinnest models that are a Japan exclusive. They are made from PVC.

        It took me a bit to ponder why. My guess is as follows. The condom giveaway started in 1988 to show support off AIDS prevention. My guess is no health organization has sanctioned any condom for AIDS prevention except latex.

        Naturally our press didn’t bother to explain this…

      • straffinrun

        Sounds good to me. The govt loves to push the PC movement of the day knowing full well the people will ignore it. Win/win: the elites get to appear progressive when they rub elbows with their Western counterparts and the people don’t have to carry out the silly plans.

      • Sensei

        My other theory was they are too small…

      • blackjack

        So, a pregnant pause?

  14. Winston

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fruitlands_(transcendental_center)

    Fruitlands residents, who called themselves “the consociate family”,[5] wished to separate themselves from the world economy by refraining from trade, having no personal property, and not using hired labor. Alcott and Lane believed that the community could achieve complete freedom only by eliminating economic activity altogether.[14] Alcott in particular believed the present economy was evil.[4] To this end, they strove towards self-sufficiency by planning on growing all the food they would need themselves and making only the goods they needed. By accomplishing these two goals, they would eliminate the need to participate in trade or to purchase their food from the outside world. Initially, Bronson Alcott and Lane modeled their ideas about personal property off the Shakers, who held property communally. However, the Shakers were not completely self-sufficient; they traded their hand-made goods for coffee, tea, meat and milk. Bronson Alcott and Lane eliminated the need to trade for these supplies because they eliminated animal products and stimulants from their diets entirely.

    In the end, the Fruitlands community had no effect on the economy of the outside world; Fruitlands allowed its residents to practice their ideals without forcing them to effect any real change.[15]

    So this must be why the March sisters have no money…

    • blackjack

      The community was short-lived and lasted only seven months. It was dependent on farming, which turned out to be too difficult.

      Yup, they were socialists.

    • Gadfly

      Alcott and Lane believed that the community could achieve complete freedom only by eliminating economic activity altogether.

      The Spartans thought this way. They redistributed land, raised children communally, and banned money. Athens went the other way. Sparta beat Athens in war, but Athens beat Sparta in commerce and culture. Only one of those cities left a legacy that still impacts the world today.

      • Swiss Servator

        Sparta cheated…plague does nae count.

      • J. Frank Parnell

        The Spartans thought this way. They redistributed land, raised children communally, and banned money.

        See! Socialism can work if you have enough deplorables Helots to do all the actual work!

  15. Tres Cool

    I’m off to work, kids. Dont tear the place apart.

    I leave you with the immortal words of David Lee Roth.

  16. Winston

    https://mobile.twitter.com/ianmSC/status/1407482645093572610

    It’s absolutely incredible to me that the Toronto Blue Jays haven’t played a game in Toronto since 2019, while nearly every other baseball team is playing in front of full capacity stadiums with no masking…and everyone just accepts the complete absurdity of this situation

    Largest city in a G7 country everyone…

    • blackjack

      a kilo of corn (maize)

      I like that part. I was wondering what they meant by “corn.”

      • Winston

        Ever hear of the Corn Laws?

      • rhywun

        Because “corn” can mean wheat or oats for those weirdos.

      • kinnath

        In the middle ages, “corn” was equivalent to “kernal”. So wheat and barley had corns. Maize is new world.

      • kinnath

        So bushels were based on corn gallons and barrels were based on liquid gallons.

      • blackjack

        So, the BBC is concerned with any middle agers out there not understanding what they meant?

      • kinnath

        Need to ask Limey if that definition of “corn” is still common in English as compared to American.

      • rhywun

        I was thinking the same.

        What I do know is, I’ve seen the “corn (maize)” thing my entire life in materials from across the pond.

      • Swiss Servator

        kinnath is CORRECT.

        /Wasted time on BA and MA in History

      • kinnath

        thanks

  17. Winston

    https://mobile.twitter.com/MichaelPSenger/status/1407498686351904772

    Wonder what Ozy thinks about this:

    With the fall of the USSR, westerners got blasé about dictators, seeing them as tin-pot bullies who cross the headlines now and then. Xi’s lockdown fraud is the first time in living memory westerners have experienced the hell dictators can bring on ordinary citizens—and it shows.

    • blackjack

      In March 2020, everybody was talking about the Chinese welding the gates shut and locking down whole cities. I was like, ” Yeah, but they’re a dictatorship. We can’t really do that here.” Then we did.

      • Winston

        It is a pretty clear example of the West being malignly influenced by China which was something that libertarians thought was literally impossible…

      • Swiss Servator

        ONE NOTE FLUTE PLAYS ON… you never identify these “libertarians” you strawman. Remember where you are, fool.

    • westernsloper

      OFFS, I honestly try to not respond to one of your comments because you are on some tiresome long held anti libertarian rant Winston. Kind of like your mom on the pole, but I took Ozzy’s post today to more point out the dearth of regulation that country. Hence my late comment because in most of the places I have worked, other than the states, the gov did not give two shits if you wanted to start a business and sell used bicycles (or anything) you repaired you just did it. I think that was more his point as well as the US Gov is no better than the Chicoms when it comes to murdering people and I don’t think he is far off there.

      • invisible finger

        I think another point Ozy alluded to without stating it explicitly is despair. He didn’t see as much of it in China as he does in the states.

        I don’t know the root cause of it but it seems to be the number one item the US government is selling and lots of people are buying. To me it is an outgrowth of vanity, greed, envy, sloth, wrath, gluttony and maybe even lust. Why would one care where the US ranks in comparison to China? To me that is just vanity again. Perhaps China is less of a welfare state than western nations. We expect corruption of the elites in any society but has corruption seeped into all of the lower classes here more than it has in China?

        I mentioned the seven deadly sins above but what of the virtues? We’re seeing our higher institutions openly despising prudence/reason – vanity and envy Uber alles. Those same institutions sell greed and envy as “justice” – a complete mockery of sin sold as virtue. Temperance and fortitude? The US in 2020 was the polar opposite of those virtues and were encouraged by both sides of the aisle with exceptions so few they stuck out and were attacked with wrath and censorship (again springing from vanity).

        Maybe our problem is that we’ve been so propagandized that the realization that we have been and it kicks in human defense mechanisms. But rather than simply recognize them as such we turn them into habits and institutions, a sort of social narcissism.

      • Winston

        Well in China there is pretty clear evidence that many things have improved enormously for many Chinese in very recent memory. Oh and don’t forget that it is in the Chicom interest to promote this view since they believe it legitimizes their rule.

        Whereas in the West the improvements are too abstract for most people. The richest countries in the world have gotten richer. Big deal. Also it is in the interest of the politicians to talk up how bad everything is since you can’t justify radical transformations of society be being positive can you?

  18. Fourscore

    Great story, Kinnath. I wish Walt Disney would do something like this and the young folks could get an easy to assimilate explanation.

    Just had a yearling bear wander through the yard, he checked the empty birdfeeders for any sunflower seeds but he was a tad short to knock them down.

    I think he had already been to the bee hives and found that the little clicking sound of the fence charger meant something. Bears here like to work hard in the nice weather and take the winter off, much like the seasonal miners from the Iron Range(s). The drought has encouraged the critters to check the garbage pile, not much in the woods to eat. Neighbors have complained of the same problem.

    Thanks for your article, Kinnath, Walter Williams and Tom Sowell would be proud of your efforts to educate us. Biden et al would just send out more cash to slugs so they wouldn’t have to be hungry

    • kinnath

      You are welcome. And thanks for the compliment.

    • rhywun

      I’m not only ready for it, I’ve been fully expecting it. Although carting my workstation from the office back home is going to be tedious.

      • rhywun

        I will add, though, that about 75 per cent of my New Jersey office mates are ignoring the requirement to muzzle up in the workplace. So… we’ll see what happens.

      • Swiss Servator

        NEED KAREER CHANGE? Let me know… I might have an option or two for ye.

      • rhywun

        NEED KAREER CHANGE?

        *clenches sphincter*

        No, thanks.

      • Chafed

        Relax. It’s Swissy asking, not STEVE SMITH.

  19. Hank

    Then she told me a story
    ‘Bout free milk and a cow…

    Sorry, wrong Aesop fable.

    Good revamp of the old-fashioned story along strictly modern lines.

    • kinnath

      thanks

    • CPRM

      Buying The Cow is a little known, but great movie.

  20. Winston

    https://mobile.twitter.com/aginnt/status/1407367889607401475

    For a virus with a survivability rate of 99.8%, the West imploded upon itself and destroyed all resemblance of liberty in less than two weeks.

    Imagine if we had a real, sudden extensional emergency and crisis on our hands.

    Yep, the very willing suicide of the West. Incredible…

    • EvilSheldon

      Yes indeed, the ‘west’ was completely alone in imploding upon itself. Totally.

      • Winston

        I think it is more that the West was supposed to have this unique and long history of liberty so it was assumed it would put up a fight but it didn’t.

  21. Timeloose

    Great twist on a fable.

    Here is a twist of summer breeze. I like the original by the way. It’s a childhood memory of AM radio in the back seat of my parents car coming home from grandma’s house.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XNo7ZZryuSQ

  22. Chafed

    Good story Kinnath. My only disappointment is the rooftop Korean ants didn’t make an appearance.

  23. Hyperion

    “I am not a bum. I’m a jerk. I once had wealth, power, and the love of a beautiful woman. Now I only have two things: the glibs, and… uh… my booze.”

    It could be much worse. I mean, we’re such a lovable bunch, don’t you know.

  24. Hyperion

    This is a pretty good read. We can only hope these people are not crushed by the Amazonfacebookgoogle behemoth.

    The Great Wokeness War

    I find it incredulous that this is where we are today.

    My economics prof when I was doing my Compsci degree, 30 years ago, told the class one thing I never forgot. He said ‘In business, there are 2 places you never go, religion and politics’.

    And yet here we are, with practically every billions of dollars business in the country, not only going to these no go zones, but trying to drive their points with tyrannical like authority over all of society. If this shit is not stopped, it really will be the end of the republic (yes, Biden and the rest of your retarded woke brigade, this is not a fucking democracy).

    • CPRM

      Well, for a lot of the right religion is politics, and a lot on the left politics is religion.

      • Hyperion

        Well, when I was a kid, we had the church ladies. Now the new church ladies are the left and they’re much more dangerous because they have huge political influence.

      • Winston

        Thing is libertarianism, socons and Communism all have roots in Protestant sects that formed during the reformation.

        I mean look at Fruitlands link that I posted above. You can definitely see the origins of libertarianism, Communism, wokism and socons right there.

      • Hyperion

        Well, I do remember the progs and the church ladies teaming up to get prohibition. Is that what you’re referring to? I mean, for sure, authoritarian minds think alike.

      • Winston

        Politics and religion have always been intertwined. Wokism, like Communism, is in many ways just an atheistic version of the more radical protestant sects.

      • Hyperion

        I guess I’ve been pretty lucky so far, because even though my org is pretty damn woke, my IT dept is nearly 100% not politically correct and we have no patience for bullshit. You know, because we have to do real work. So HR can be as woke as they want because they have no real work to do, but for us, we make shit work, period.

      • CPRM

        I just try to speak as little as possible at work, because I am the watchman, and I know who watches the watchman.

      • Hyperion

        I try to do the same, but occasionally I’ll just say something that elicits the proggy Ivy League eye roll, just because I couldn’t help it. But I can survive some eye rolls. When I do pretend to go along with their wokeness, I’m making fun of them and they don’t get sarcasm very well.

      • CPRM

        Lew or Norman?

      • Hyperion

        One of them paints better. I remember occasionally running into (Lew) them at BWI. I tried talking to them and noted they are batshit crazy. I mean, they’d sort of make sense and then go off into looney land.

    • Winston

      I find it incredulous that this is where we are today.

      It can’t happen here until it does.

      If this shit is not stopped, it really will be the end of the republic

      Libertarians mustn’t understimate that we are in serious trouble. Problem is how does one articulate that and at the same talk about economic, social and technological progress? And what specifically should be done and to differentiate it from the left and right?

      • Hyperion

        “It can’t happen here until it does.”

        Like inflation?

        It’s not just libertarians who are in trouble, it’s all of us. If it wasn’t so obviously not true, I mean CNN told me so, you’d have to believe that every single democrat in the country are directly employed by the CCP and their job is to destroy the USA from the inside.

      • egould310

        “… you’d have to believe that every single democrat in the country are directly employed by the CCP and their job is to destroy the USA from the inside.”

        That’s pretty much my thinking on it. Add Republican politicians, and cultural/civic/corporate “influencers” to that as well.

      • egould310

        Of course, I’ve been ranting about an international socialist conspiracy since 1994. So maybe I’m the crazy asshole?!

      • Gustave Lytton

        I miss the black helicopters and NWO. So much more innocent times.

    • Chafed

      I always enjoy Kirklin.

      • Chafed

        WTF autocorrect!?! Kotkin.

  25. Gustave Lytton

    Clickjacking again. Fuck WordPress and their plugin shit.

    • Hyperion

      Wut? The thing I had going on for a while is that when I’d hit the Glib homepage, it would be cached or something, so I’d have to refresh the page to get the most current articles. Seems to be OK now.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I have caching problem where the page will force reload on a tablet because iOS is a pos and the reload shows me logged out. Request desktop site will reload and show me logged in again.

        This isn’t it. Something on the Glib page or WP plugin is allowing clickjacking.

      • Hyperion

        Haven’t seen that, do you have an AV installed? Sounds like malware to me.

      • CPRM

        He said he’s using IOS, Apple can’t get viruses, redneck Windows user!

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Yes

        It appears to be specific to the mobile version of the site

  26. hayeksplosives

    Great fable retelling, Kinnath. The wry humor helped soften the blow of the ants being overcome by the mob.

    I was still wishing for the Little Red Hen to step in and eat all the bugs except fir the ants….

  27. Yusef drives a Kia

    I woke up with a big Black cat in my face, yelling
    “Feed me More”
    at least it’s Wednesday…….

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      It was the guns that done did it, not the twerking that held up the ambulances.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Allow and even encourage the problem and then offer the solution you’ve been wanting to offer but didn’t have the support to implement previously. Works every time…

    • db

      Chairman Ryan Bizzarro (D-Erie) called the bill a continued Republican attack on the voting process and democracy, and a waste of time and resources.

      Self-commenting quotations FTW

    • Festus

      Love Ozzy!

  28. Gender Traitor

    Today’s my last day of work before my obligatory full week of vacation! 😀 I’ve given our payroll final approval, so the main order of business is just sorting the mail from the USPS and the interoffice bags, plus dealing with the inevitable returned mail. My boss is WFH today, though I’m sure he’ll be bothering me via phone and Teams. Of course, the beauty of the latter is that unlike in person, I can let him go to voice mail. 😉

      • Gender Traitor

        Good morning, U ::glances upthread:: & Yu & Sean!

        It’s so cool here in Dayton today that I was moved to put on my Hueston Woods State Park hoodie when I got out of bed. It’s only 56 degrees F here right now!

      • UnCivilServant

        It’s supposedly 50 outside, which explains why my AC is quiet.

      • Sean

        I brought my bitchy lil hot pepper plants in last night. Just in case.

      • Sean

        9 plants. Aphids seemingly exterminated.

        They’ve been finicky during the hardening off process. Hopefully they’ll be fruitful.

        The Genghis Khan Brain is currently the biggest.

      • Sean

        Morning.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Vacation, how I wish, it looks like great time for it, enjoy, GT!

      • Gender Traitor

        Thanks, Yu! I have every intention of doing so!

    • Tres Cool

      WFH ?

      Bra-less in the office !

      • Gender Traitor

        Well, the BIG boss will still be onsite, so…. no, not today. 🙁

      • Tres Cool

        I dont know how much time you devote to listening to WHIO, if at all. Since they carry ‘Coast to Coast AM’ its pretty much my all-night background. They do news updates every 20 minutes or so, including weather. Fried AIGS must’ve gotten on them, ’cause Ive noticed how much more clearly they enunciate her name, emphasizing the hard consonants. Its shifted from Fried Eggs to Vry DAGs.

      • Gender Traitor

        I usually only listen while I’m driving to and from work, and mainly before I get to the interstate to get the traffic report before I commit to the on-ramp. (One accident made me late to work yesterday, and another made me late to the Y after work. The better the weather, the worse the traffic. Morons!)

        What I’ve noticed about the weather reports is that when they run the cut-in from Channel 7’s weather spokesmodels, whether it’s McCall or The New Kid, they often sound as if they’re at the bottom of a well. It’s radio, folks! It’s all about the audio!

    • Festus

      Have fun, Red! I’ll be taking the payout in lieu once again this year. I haven’t had a vacation in decades.

      • Gender Traitor

        Thanks, Fes! Payout’s not an option for me until I leave, which my boss says I’m not allowed to do.

      • Festus

        Speaking of which, I believe my percentage just upped last Friday. Need to look into that. An extra two percent adds up over time.

  29. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Mornin’ Glibs

    We’re off to an interesting start here with a half dozen cop cars, an ambulance, the fire chief, a fire truck, and a couple of detectives blowing down the street.

    • Gender Traitor

      One night many years ago the previous Mr. GT & I were at a laundromat on the east side of Dayton when a string of cop cruisers went tearing down the street outside, lights & sirens at full power. We’d watched enough episodes of Hill Street Blues to correctly guess that this meant “Officer down.”

      And ::aside to Tres:: that’s how we got Steve Whalen Boulevard.

      Hope your excitement turns out to be an overreaction to whatever’s going on, Scruffy, and that whatever happened is over quickly and quietly.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        They seem to have left now. No idea what happened other than a possible warrant serving at the Section 8 housing, probably a suspected meth lab hence the fire engine.

  30. Tres Cool

    suh’ fam

    18/30-packs of Milwaukees Beast Diet are impossible to find, but I scored 2 6-packs of 16 oz’ers

    MEDIUM CANS !

    And just in case there’s a mid-week Zoom call, Im off tonight. Perhaps someone wants to watch me fall into another TV set.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I missed the first time, maybe Ill drop by and look around

    • Sean

      Is it just the one set, or were there multiple casualties?

  31. Yusef drives a Kia

    Phones, grrrrrr,

    • Sean

      *raises hand*

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Totally a failure of the free market

    • db

      One answer? Time-of-day meters. Charge peak pricing to the retail customers at the end of the line. Have a smart car charger that can get the pricing signal and adjust its load per customer specs. If you want to pay more for a charge right now, you’re free to do so. If you want to optimize your charging costs, you’re free to do so.

    • Gender Traitor

      AND BY “SHOWING,” MEAN…

    • Festus

      I find it more disturbing that Steve is connected to a school.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      If a company can manage to market the gizzards then I’ll be impressed.

  32. Festus

    Just ran a third load of laundry through the stupid front-loader without a hitch. Maybe it picked up the signs from Google searches and decided to behave once again. I know I’d be either very well or ill-behaved if someone threatened to gut me…

  33. Festus

    Ugh, just had “Aboriginal Day” which seems to do nothing but encourage the vagrants and layabouts to walk down the streets downtown in the middle of the thoroughfare. There are sidewalks, dude. Some of us paid taxes to build them so that assholes like you don’t get squished like a bug.

    • Festus

      That doesn’t comport with the video evidence that I’ve witnessed.

    • db

      If somebody came to my door and asked if I was vaccinated, I’d tell them to leave promptly. Whether I am or am not is none of your business.