About The Author

Riven

Riven

[riv-uhn] noun 1. a gaming, lifting, shooting, intoxicated, ravenous, and happily-taken nerd. 2. often aims to misbehave. 3. and though she be but little, she is fierce.* And rumor has it that she (and her husband) are also delightful dinner companions. You didn't hear it from me, though.

259 Comments

  1. Rat on a train

    Где все?

    • Ted S.

      Я — здесь.

      • rhywun

        Moi aussi.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Malbenita fremdulo

  2. Count Potato

    “Thompson’s lack of tools seems to particularly irk Chamberlain. In nearly all her videos, Thompson removes bees with her hand placing them into a temporary hive. Sometimes she uses a steamer to calm them down, but for the most part, it’s a scoop and place system— despite the fact that some of these swarms are under the floorboard or inside walls. Logic leads one to think that Thompson would need some sort of tool to open a floorboard; Chamberlain believes that tool is Thompson’s husband. Chamberlain accuses the husband, who doesn’t appear in any swarm removal videos, of being the one “cutting comb” and opening any spaces for his wife so she can reach the bees.”

    I thought it was a smoker. Speaking of smoke, of course Jezebel would throw shade at the bee lady.

    • Not Adahn

      Oh god, the comments!

      • Not Adahn

        I like those bee videos. It doesn’t inspire me to handle swarms of insects barehanded.

        Bees are super important to our food supply, and a MAGA involved in their safe keeping has to have some thoughts on environmental conservation—even if it’s tunnel vision just for the bees it’s still a net-positive—right?

        25
        Reply

        Mortal Dictata
        M3000P
        6/03/21 4:18pm
        Except it’ll probably be more oriented towards eco-fascism. So controls on procreation, imperialist control of remaining resources, and no doubt deciding those who don’t fit their ideal (typically racial, gender, and sexual minorities) being left to die off.

        16
        Reply

        OnoSideboard
        M3000P
        6/03/21 4:25pm
        The MAGA thing appears to have been entirely invented. People in the replies to that tweet calling her a Trump fan are begging for the evidence, but no one has actually provided any, as far as I can tell. And she follows a bunch of Dems on IG, so it’s a mystery where the accusation is coming from.

      • R C Dean

        I think they probably assumed she was a Repub because she’s good-looking and has long blonde hair.

        Which tells you a lot about the looks of the hard left lunatics.

      • Tonio

        Don’t forget she’s accused of having a husband, and having him do the traditional man stuff like prying up floorboards.

      • rhywun

        It tells me more about the mental faculties.

      • Old Man With Candy

        I found the other chick far more attractive.

      • Not Adahn

        You liked how she cut herself shaving, didn’t you?

      • R C Dean

        I figured it was the androgyny and lack of apparent secondary sexual characteristics that put her more in OMWC’s wheelhouse.

      • Old Man With Candy

        It’s a chancre.

      • Translucent Chum

        Run, you fool!

    • Tonio

      Jezebel never let facts get in the way of a good feelz-based article. They probably thought it was a repurposed vaginal steamer.

      One of the accusatory tweets pictured is from a woman with a hammer-n-sickle after her name.

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        Thanks, man. Now I have an image in my head of Gwenyth Paltrow calming a swarm of bees with smoke from her vagina. I suppose that could be a new Marvel superhero.

      • kinnath

        The Aristocrats!

      • C. Anacreon

        All evildoers fear the Velvet Vagismoker!

      • limey

        Come for the smoke, stay for the goop.

  3. DEG

    Just look at him vibing. He’s 47 inches long and 100% friend. That’s a little fellow you can trust, if you ask me. Would that face lie to you?

    These euphemisms.

  4. UnCivilServant

    Dammit, Billy Batson is Captain Marvel. Shazam was the Wizard!

    • Bobarian LMD

      That dopey chick in the Nissan commercials is Captain Marvel.

      Captain Mary Sue Marvel.

      • UnCivilServant

        Nonsense.

        The Fawcett Comic Intellectual Property is the real Captain Marvel and associated characters.

      • Nephilium

        Personally, I find the random legal battle that created two Captain Marvel’s entertaining. Especially as it was a lawsuit from DC (over copying Superman) that created the fun.

      • UnCivilServant

        They should all be in the public domain by now.

        DAMN YOU, DISNEY!!!!

      • Nephilium

        Yes. Yes they should. But in some good news, at least some items entered the public domain this year.

      • UnCivilServant

        I saw. The only one I had been forced to try to read was the Great Gatsby.

      • Gadfly

        So, if works from 1925 entered the public domain this year, and Steamboat Willie premiered in 1928, what are the odds that we get another extension of copyright law in the next three years?

      • Brett L

        We all agree that Iron Man is just Bat Man with better compute, right?

      • UnCivilServant

        You forgot the ranpant alcoholism.

      • Nephilium

        Green Arrow would like a word.

      • UnCivilServant

        Does he even have a computer? I thought he traded that in for a heroin-addicted sidekick.

      • BakedPenguin

        That dopey chick in the Nissan commercials is Captain Marvel.

        She’ s also supposed to be in the new Star Wars movies.

  5. Not Adahn

    I dislike people who use the hammer and sickle insignia.

    • UnCivilServant

      Farmsmith’s Hand-forged Garden Equipment hardest hit.

    • Rat on a train

      How about gear and machete?

      • Tonio

        You mean something like this?

      • Not Adahn

        I had no idea “wikipedia” was on an African flag.

      • Tonio

        OMG, I just now noticed that. For some reason it made the image super gigantic.

      • Rat on a train

        I was thinking of the Flag of Angola

      • Tonio

        Think further North. Hint: Dick/Balls.

      • Tonio

        Oh, my. They are similar. Was unaware of the Angolan coat of arms. I had originally uploaded my graphic to glibs as a stand-in illo. Thanks for sharing that.

  6. Not Adahn

    We have ordinances that we have to enforce. We enforce the ordinances,” he said.

    “This is nothing different than any other animal being picked up, or that we get complaints on. The fact is, he has wolfdogs. And we enforce the ordinances that are in our municipal code,” he said.

    I dislike this man.

    • Tonio

      You know who else was “just enforcing ordinances?”

      • Tundra

        Chauvin?

      • DrOtto

        Barney Fife?

    • Swiss Servator

      THEM DOGS IS MISCEGINATED!

    • Not Adahn

      A 20-something female who is “bi?” That’s original. Does she also like chardonnay and white zinfandel?

      • Count Potato

        Don’t you mean White Claw?

      • rhywun

        Yeah, his snark is about two decades behind the times.

      • UnCivilServant

        The calendar says 258/4/1999

      • Stillhunter

        I keep wondering who cares anymore and why this is news, but it must be if people are clicking.

      • rhywun

        It’s news because Cuomo commanded it to be.

      • Stillhunter

        Is he still the gov? I thought he got canceled? Isn’t that how this works?

      • Not Adahn

        Nope. No other (D) was able to build a power base, so he’s still getting reelected.

      • rhywun

        Dude is a master of the party machine, I’ll give him that.

    • Tonio

      Yawn.

    • rhywun

      Wake me up when she ties a bandana on her head and climbs into a U-Haul.

      also took aim at Instagram, accusing the photo-sharing app of ‘censoring the LGBTQ community’ as well as words like ‘lesbian and bi’, stating that this had ‘stripped her ability to find queer content’.

      OFFS! Apparently she’s delusional, too.

      • slumbrew

        … climbs into a U-Haul.

        She’s going on a second date?

      • Tonio

        [golf clap]

      • Gadfly

        stating that this had ‘stripped her ability to find queer content’

        So she’s a zoomer who doesn’t know how to use the internet. Also, depending on what she means by “content”, everyone knows Twitter is the place people let their freak flag fly, not Instagram.

      • one true athena

        “I didn’t get enough followers on IG, pouted the Cuomo spawn” – is how I read that, tbh.

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      Sounds like a desperate attempt to save her dad’s career.

    • Chafed

      Oy.

    • rhywun

      Ugh. Why?? I need a shower now.

  7. UnCivilServant

    I decided to try out a so-called dry ‘brining’ technique. While my steak was underdefended, I managed to avoid having it stolen before cooking and consumption.

    I found it made the outside of the steak tougher than just salting and putting it on the heat. Yes, it did develop brown easier, but I’m not convinced that it’s an improvement.

    I might try a wet brine at some point for comparison.

    • Tres Cool

      I generally do the coarse salt method. Coat both sides, let sit 30 minutes per half inch of thickness. Rinse, coat with oil, slap on a hot grill.
      Grill marks bud.

      • UnCivilServant

        No grill.

        I also don’t have a lawn, so I have a shortage of places to put a grill.

      • commodious spittoon

        My brother’s previous house had an indoor charcoal grill: a block basin with brick facade and an oven hood sitting over it. He never gave it a try and I kinda doubt anyone ever did. Along with the wood panel walls, the diy brick bar, the recessed bar shelves punched into an exterior wall with no thought of insulation, and the long outdated carpeting, it was a pleasure gutting that room.

      • Stillhunter

        The main point is the “hot”. It seems the most important part of cooking method is high heat, regardless of method.

        I’ve done the dry brine once and it turned out quite well, but it takes up too much real estate in the fridge.

      • Sean

        coat with oil

        Yer doing it wrong.

      • UnCivilServant

        I assumed he was oiling the grill, though from the phrasing he might be washing the salt off the steak…

      • R C Dean

        Rinse

        Err, what? You run water over your steaks before you cook them? That’s just wrong, man.

    • Nephilium

      You should get three steaks and do it as a proper experiment.

      /laments that the place where I was planning on getting my goal weight meal still isn’t open so I won’t be able to get my steak tasting menu reward.

      • Not Adahn

        And it should be double blind, so wear a blindfold while grilling.

      • Nephilium

        Or it could be a triangle test, with two prepared one way, and the third prepared a different way.

      • Not Adahn

        He’d need to get tri-tips for that one.

      • UnCivilServant

        A true test would involve someone else cooking each for me,

      • Not Adahn

        Getting other human being involved means IRB, so careful with that.

      • UnCivilServant

        So… we’ll need to make a steak-making robot?

        It’s already expensive enough buying the beef.

      • Nephilium

        That was part of my plan:

        NEW YORK STEAK TASTING

        6 oz each: grass run farms grass-fed, Creekstone prime corn-fed, and new creation grain finished

        Still fucking closed.

      • Brett L

        I did the 4oz flight at Ronnie Killen’s. The actual Japanese Wagyu is a whole different flavor and texture.

      • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

        Double-blind?
        Wouldn’t that require two blindfolds?

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      I’ve never heard of dry brining a steak before.

      Seems like pre-salting and aging are the two prep methods I always see.

      • Sean

        I do it all the time.

      • Tundra

        Me too. Sometimes for a couple days.

      • The Hyperbole

        Ever since I learned about Sean style steaks I’ve been hooked, Listen to Sean he knows what’s he’s talking about.

      • UnCivilServant

        The defensive firearms are a must, or they turn out wrong.

      • The Hyperbole

        You can use other means of murdering people as well, I’ve had success with a guitar string garrote, A combination of pills and vodka, and a coat hanger.

      • Stillhunter

        Basically add salt and let sit uncovered for 24-48 hours in the fridge.

        https://youtu.be/y-mktLc6Vpc

      • Tundra

        Don’t overdo the salt, though. The general rule of 1/2 tsp per pound is solid.

      • UnCivilServant

        That won’t even get one side salted.

      • Tundra

        Trust me. It works fine. It’s not a rub, it’s a brine.

      • Stillhunter

        My understanding is no more than you’d add post cook. The salt obviously doesn’t go anywhere, so whatever you put on you’re gonna eat.

      • UnCivilServant

        Salt is not your enemy.

        And if you add it pre cook, there should be no need to add any post-cook.

      • Stillhunter

        I use plenty of salt. It and pepper are the only seasoning I use since going carnivore.

        What that statement means is that you don’t want to add more than you would if you weren’t brining it.

      • slumbrew

        I have had good results with

        https://www.seriouseats.com/food-lab-how-to-grill-steak-cuts-of-steak

        Q: How heavily should I season my steak?

        A: Quite heavily! A thick steak will be seasoned only on its exterior, so you need enough salt to carry that flavor through. I always have a hard time describing how much salt to use, but my best description is the way a light snow flurry looks on a dark asphalt parking lot. Not completely white, but enough salt that you can see it very, very clearly.

        I salt at least several hours before and put it in the fridge on a quater-sheet pan with a rack (which I more or less bought just for this purpose).

        I have been very pleased with the results.

        P.S., I’m hating the Serious Eats site redesign.

      • rhywun

        You usually can’t go wrong with that guy’s advice.

      • rhywun

        It was a great site while it lasted. Now it goes on the pile with Chowhound.

        Skip the website and buy the Food Lab book.

      • slumbrew

        I’ve got the book – asked for & received as an x-mas gift when it came out.

        I still found the website handy. Perhaps I’ll splurge for the Kindle version of the book too.

      • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

        It was a great site while it lasted. Now it goes on the pile with Chowhound.

        The author’s got “Alt” in his name, fer cryin’ out loud, and lives in New! York! City! in some effin’ three-hundred-square-foot shoebox he laughingly refers to as an “apartment.” It was only a matter of time before he went all woke on you.

      • Count Potato

        I never salt steaks that much.

      • slumbrew

        The author’s got “Alt” in his name, fer cryin’ out loud,

        Kenji moved to San Mateo awhile ago.

        But, yes, he’s a giant lefty – he banned anyone wearing a MAGA hat from his restaurant, then promptly backed down when his partners presumably asked him what the fuck is wrong with him.

        Also: “When my wife, Adriana López, and I got married, we both changed our last names to López-Alt.”

        Hard pass on that. My wife didn’t change her name and that doesn’t bother me in the least. Definitely not changing mine.

      • rhywun

        Ugh. Fortunately there’s little but a harmless whiff of leftiness in his book.

        I was pondering the last names thing the other day. I dislike how it’s become yet another landmine in the culture wars but I finally decided IDGAF.

      • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

        I didn’t know about the San Mateo move. Not that it changes my opinion. Plus I’m glad to hear that his business partners probably took him out behind the woodshed.

        When the Spousal Unit became the Spousal Unit, she wanted to change her last name to mine because she was convinced that people wouldn’t mis-spell my last name as much as hers because mine was shorter and was an English word (her heritage is Frisian). After I stopped laughing and picked myself up off of the floor, I told her that people were bound and determined to mis-spell my last name, because most people just. don’t. care. Then I encouraged her to keep hers for both personal and professional reasons. She did, and is glad to this day that she did.

      • R C Dean

        From what I can tell, dry brining and pre-salting are the same thing.

    • Sean

      How long did you keep it in the fridge?

      • Sean

        There’s your problem.

      • UnCivilServant

        I can’t leave an exposed steak sitting in my fridge for days on end.

      • Sean

        At least overnight. 24 hours is preferable.

      • UnCivilServant

        I have a steak that has a use by date of monday. I have to either have it for breakfast tomorrow or have it for dinner monday. If I salt it now… Hrmm.

      • UnCivilServant

        As a good faith effort, I’ve salted the other steak and set it in the fridge for a longer rest time.

  8. DEG

    Too Local News Lazy Edition: An NH State Rep writes up what happened at the June 3rd State House legislative session.

    The NH State Senate passed its version of the budget yesterday. I haven’t seen any news coverage of details on what from the House stayed in the budget or heard any news through the NHLA or Reopen NH. I’ve only heard the two version of the budget are different. I’m not going to go through the budget bill itself to see what stayed. If they actually are different, then the legislature will set up a Committee of Conference to sort out the differences. That Committee should wrap up its work relatively quickly as the biennium ends at the end of June.

    • DEG

      I found this about the Senate budget. It has no details on the information I want: How do the Senate and House budgets differ?

  9. Tres Cool

    Meghan has thicc laigs.

    Would.

  10. Count Potato

    “REVEALED: Armed black man, 32, with long rap sheet ‘FIRED his handgun’ before Minnesota deputies shot him dead while trying to arrest him for violating probation for aggravated robbery – sparking angry protests at dismantled George Floyd Square

    A US Marshals task force moved in on Smith who was wanted ‘on a state arrest warrant’ for being a felon in possession of a firearm after he posted a picture of what appeared to be himself sitting in a car with a gun and a box of bullets – a probation violation.

    After posting an image of a gun and bullets on Instagram, a probation violation hearing was called on May 5. WCCO reported that when Smith failed to show up at the hearing, a warrant was issued for his arrest.

    A spokeswoman with the US Marshals said the US Marshals leads the task force that attempted the arrest, which is comprised of several agencies.

    Other agencies with personnel on the scene at the time of the shooting include sheriff’s offices from Hennepin, Anoka and Ramsey counties, the Minnesota Department of Corrections and the Department of Homeland Security. Minneapolis police played no role in the incident.

    The Minnesota Bureau of Criminal Apprehension, which is leading the investigation, said Friday that two sheriff’s deputies — one from Hennepin County and one from Ramsey County — were the officers who fired their weapons, striking Smith.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9653485/Armed-black-man-32-long-rap-sheet-fired-handgun-shot-dead-Minneapolis.html

    Did you bring enough guys?

      • Not Adahn

        ‘It’s like living in Palestine

        I thought that was Dearborn.

      • C. Anacreon

        I thought only a fawn was Dearborn.

      • Old Man With Candy

        I should have poisoned you when I had the chance.

    • Tonio

      OK, “Minnesota deputies,” then “US Marshals task force.”

      There is one US Marshal per federal judicial district, in this case the District of MInnesota (more populous states may be divided into multiple districts). The marshal is assisted by various deputy US Marshals; these are often called deputies in certain westerns. But calling them “Minnesota deputies” implies sheriff’s deputies. It’s like Minnesota judge vs federal judge for the District of Minnesota. I’m giving them a mulligan since they’re UK based, but domestic media often make these mistakes.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Unearned mulligan. Their online stuff is run out of NY and LA, along with the more traditional British offices. The US stuff isn’t incidental but their target market.

      • Not Adahn

        US Marshals leads the task force that attempted the arrest, which is comprised of several agencies.

        “Task force” is typically used when multiple organizations (or multiple departments within an organization) are involved.

      • Tonio

        Yeah, I didn’t read down. My bad.

    • Mojeaux

      This is my shocked face.

    • rhywun

      Over/under on they were already doing this all along?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        ^Yeah, this…likely a codification of what’s already being done.

      • one true athena

        They might have paused it when Trump was about to ban the app. but they know they can do whatever they want now.

    • The Hyperbole

      I’m a complete luddite in this stuff, why am I supposed to care if TikTok harvests my face* and voiceprints etc….?

      *I’m assuming they aren’t literally harvesting my face I can see the issue there.

      • Mojeaux

        Well, if you don’t mind making it easier for the gummint to make an even more complete dossier on you, then don’t worry about it.

  11. Nephilium

    Welcome to another weekend. This one doesn’t have the benefit of a third day off (for most of us), but it does mean there will be another Zoom/Happy Hour/Cocktail article criticism kicking off at 20:00 Eastern.

    • db

      Maybe y’all can talk me out of considering starting a restaurant/brewery

      • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

        You will die broke, alone and in a ditch.

        Does that work?

      • db

        Not sure that really changes my path

      • The Hyperbole

        The lap of luxury! What I wouldn’t give to die alone, broke and in ditch.

      • slumbrew

        That is a terrible idea, to be done only if you have absolutely no other ability to earn a living in some other manner and even then Beam is probably right – You will die broke, alone and in a ditch.

      • slumbrew

        I say this as someone who loves restaurants and is fascinated by the business side of them.

        I know enough to know it’s an endeavor with a low probability of success in the long term.

      • db

        I have a cousin who started and sold two restaurants in the last ten-fifteen years. It is not for the faint of heart, that is for sure.

      • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

        I believe that, in your cousin’s particular case, he followed the old adage of “What are the two happiest days in a boat-owners’ life? When they buy a boat, and when they sell it.”

      • Nephilium

        Look up the average salary for a head brewer in your area. I used that easily explain to the girlfriend why I didn’t want to leave my IT career behind to open a brewery.

        For a retirement job for on the other hand, I can see myself being a bartender at a great beer bar/brewery.

      • db

        I’m a pretty skilled brewer at small scale. I know there are scaling issues, but I have read a lot on the subject, and have some contacts through work in the large scale brewing industry. I love the brewing process and could definitely fill that role. I understand the chemical processes etc.

        I live in an area that is growing, and all the restaurants we have in the area are packed most nights and weekends. We have three or four very good local restaurants covering Italian, Mexican, American, and Chinese options. Two major chain restaurants, and a few fast food joints. Easy access from Eastern Ohio towns where there isn’t much in the way of dining, and quite close to some other growing areas. There are some niches that need filling here for sure.

      • Nephilium

        Brewing also requires dealing with a lot of local/state/federal regulations. One of the brewers I know bitched about the petty bullshit that was done to them during the inspection process.

      • DEG

        Yep.

        When I first started homebrewing, I considered opening my own brewery. Then I started looking into regulations and taxes.

        Nope. Not gonna do it.

        I also got away from homebrewing.

      • R C Dean

        For a retirement job

        Sounds like a category error, like “female penis”.

      • slumbrew

        See, also, earlier discussion about having something to do with your life after retirement.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I like the alternative definition of retirement as the day I don’t need the paycheck anymore. Maybe I keep working, maybe I don’t, but the money is just icing on the cake from retirement day onward.

      • Ted S.

        Yeah. I just picked up the dog from the kennel today. The lady who runs it earned really big bucks in NYC and could live off of that well enough to pursue her dream of helping pets.

        Dad, as the former building inspector in the jurisdiction, made some extra retirement money helping her through the permit and construction process.

      • Nephilium

        One of the local board game shops has been run (for quite a while) by someone who made big bucks as a stockbroker.

      • Nephilium

        One of the local board game shops is owned by someone who made big bucks as a stockbroker back in the day.

      • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

        One of the local board game shops has been run (for quite a while) by someone who made big bucks as a stockbroker.

        Sounds like a retirement hobby to me. I fix electronics for the Hell of it. I certainly wouldn’t actually do it for money — the vast majority of the stuff I work with is BER (Beyond Economic Repair).

      • Tulip

        Exactly

      • R C Dean

        Just bustin’ balls. I’m on board. Some (short) shifts as a beertender actually sounds like a pretty decent way to spend part of the day.

      • Tundra

        A friend’s dad was a pilot. When he retired he worked for a car dealership, driving cars between dealers, etc. He said it was the greatest thing ever – got him out of the house and around people, while still scratching that travel itch.

      • B.P.

        That’s a job? I’m sort of on the verge of what y’all are talking about here. I want to do that.

      • Tundra

        I think there are a shit ton of jobs like that. I was at a body shop yesterday and two old dudes came in to drop off a couple vehicles. We shot the shit for a few minutes and they were pretty sharp, engaged dudes.

        Never stop doing.

      • Sensei

        My friend owns a small business and one of his delivery drivers is a “retired” long haul trucker.

        He enjoys the extra money and the doesn’t mind the day trips.

      • kinnath

        Never stop doing.

        Retirement means putting in the papers to start SSI and pension.

        I don’t plan to stop working and making money.

        One of the few bright spots of this last year of pandemic bullshit is getting to see what work-from-home engineering looks and feels like.

        I assume I can be a contract engineer for any company on the planet at this point.

      • Swiss Servator

        Neph, my dream part-time job…

  12. Gustave Lytton

    My officemate had enough of me and decided to retire. I’ve spent the day cleaning up and getting rid of excess stuff. Disassembling what must be at least 40 year old systems furniture has managed to give me several unnoticed cuts and tore my carhartts. Next up is to get a new fridge and microwave to replace the current set.

    • Brett L

      give me several unnoticed cuts and tore my carhartts

      The blood price must be paid.

      • slumbrew

        Blood for the blood god desk!

      • Brett L

        Anything made with sheet metal requires a blood sacrifice to install or remove. Or at least that’s my lived experience.

      • Gustave Lytton

        It’s worth it so far. Feels less crowded and junky already.

  13. grrizzly

    Copa America may be cancelled.

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      What about the Copacabana?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        What? I thought music and passion were always in fashion.

      • slumbrew

        “At the Chupa, chupacabra…” is now in my head

    • rhywun

      Rio mayor warns city could cancel Copa America games

      If I’m reading between the lines correctly here, he’s doing it to spite Brasilian OMB.

    • KSuellington

      Blame it on Rio.

      • Ted S.

        +1 topless Demi Moore

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        /Pedant mode ON

        Demi was topless but hid her assets behind her hair (she might have been underage).

        The other chick did the full topless.

        (too lazy to IMDB)

        /Pedant mode OFF

      • Ted S.

        Still better than topless Michael Caine.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    We have ordinances that we have to enforce. We enforce the ordinances,” he said.

    “This is nothing different than any other animal being picked up, or that we get complaints on. The fact is, he has wolfdogs. And we enforce the ordinances that are in our municipal code,” he said.

    When you get to Hell, be sure to tell them “I was just following orders.”

    They can use a good laugh, same as anybody else.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      He’s also full of shit as they likely have quite a bit of leeway in choosing to enforce or not.

  15. Not Adahn

    Got a text that my Serbian 9×19 has been delivered. I’ll try it at the match this Sunday.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    And now, a word from the Alfred E Neuman School of Business Journalism

    Many Americans are suddenly house rich. On paper, anyway.

    Soaring home prices have resulted in a record amount of home equity on hand. By the end of last year, roughly 46 million homeowners held a total $7.3 trillion in equity to tap, the largest amount ever recorded, according to Black Knight, a mortgage technology and research firm — the equivalent of roughly $158,000, on average, per homeowner.

    That, along with near rock-bottom mortgage interest rates, drove a growing number of borrowers to take money out of their homes.

    In the first quarter of 2021, the amount of home equity cashed out rose to $49.6 billion — the highest level since 2007, during the last housing boom. Including home equity lines of credit, Americans pulled out a total of $70.4 billion in just the last few months, according to the most recent data from Freddie Mac.

    What’s the worst that could happen?

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      Oy, here we go again.

    • Brett L

      The buyers pay it back and the banks don’t profit?

      • Nephilium

        Who doesn’t want house rich banks?

      • slumbrew

        Hey Buddy, Stop Doing That!

      • slumbrew

        That’s more like it.

    • prolefeed

      Median housing prices jumped 40% here in Austin in the last year. It’s almost like devaluing the dollar by a third in the last year, by creating about $7T or so in new fiat money, makes prices go up accordingly, and drives a flight from cash to hard assets.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    Speaking of botched/misheard song lyrics…. A song was just on- I don’t even know what it is, or who sings it, but I always heard the refrain as,

    “I don’t wanna argue. I just just wanna fuck.”

    • Sensei

      Wrapped up like a deuce.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    Maybe y’all can talk me out of considering starting a restaurant/brewery

    Free beer. Go for it.

    • prolefeed

      I heartily recommend you keep on considering starting a restaurant/brewery. I strongly advise against going from considering, to actually doing it.

    • creech

      First in town cleans up. Soon there’s four or five all competing for the same crowd and profit falls to point where two close up. A couple of us got pretty far along on a plan to open the first brew pub in Odessa, TX but primary work life intervened. Wonder how that would have done?

    • Agent Cooper

      I know a guy who owns a microbrewery. (or Nanobrewery?) He has a regular job, too.

      • Tundra

        I’m not okay and I don’t know what else to say. Im not mentally prepare for questions that even I don’t know the answers to yet.

        I’m glad she shared her own struggles with the world. Valuable insight.

      • Sensei

        Well it’s not important about what actually occurred, let’s just deal with how it makes you feel.

    • UnCivilServant

      allows for the execution of malicious code when the machines are reachable on a port that is exposed to the Internet.

      I can’t even get to vCenter inside the network, and I’m supposed to be an authorized user.

      Of course, I wouldn’t be surprised if it were better protected internally than to randos in the wild.

    • slumbrew

      1) We already patched the day the news broke

      2) there is zero reason to have vCenter accessible to the Internet at large

  19. The Bearded Hobbit

    Just got back from our latest road trip to discover that Mrs. Hobbit’s computer has bit the big one. She seldom needs a computer so she winds up with my cast-offs. I generally buy a refurbished Dell Optiplex off of eBay for about $100 and it suits me just fine. My latest box has Win10 which I am learning to loathe. The dead box was running Win7 and I’m thinking that I will replace it with WinXP. I don’t upgrade well.

    • Sean

      I haven’t turned on my home pc in forever. I can access the internet and email just fine from a Kindle Fire.

      • UnCivilServant

        I found the Kindle Fire nigh useless, and ditched it for not being able to do what I needed it to.

      • Sean

        I’m curious, what role did you expect it fill?

      • UnCivilServant

        I wanted it to hold rulebooks and army spreadsheets at warhammer games. All of this would have been offline as there was no internet access at most places where I’d be able to find a game.* I could get the rulebooks on there just fine, but the inability to do simple things like record damage (and update unit stats accordingly) which just required basic spreadsheet functionality disappointed me. After putting in too much effort, I decided not to keep bothering to look.

        *Plus I dislike connecting portable devices to the internet regardless. Anything portable is going to be offline.

      • Tundra

        Chromebook.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        We both still need a computer for financial software (Quicken) and office documents. Kindle or smartphone won’t do it.

      • Sean

        What died on the pc?

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        It won’t even attempt to start so I’m guessing power supply.

      • Nephilium

        No beeps or fans spinning? Desktop or laptop? Swapping out the power supply in a desktop is usually pretty easy (assuming a standard sized power supply).

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        Desktop.

        Nope, no indications at all. Power button remains black. There is an ominous ticking coming from the speakers.

        Usually suspect a nearby lightning strike but the box was turned off and plugged into a surge suppressor.

      • Nephilium

        Then you may want to spec out just a replacement power supply (assuming the rest of the machine was fine.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        Definitely looking at that option. If not a disk crash then it’s usually the power supply.

  20. Hank

    Reactionary Poles launch challenge to the wonderful modern diversity-equity-inclusion-puppies-rainbows higher-education establishment. How dare they!

    “Despite the degradation of the academic dogma that began in the 1960s, and today’s woke revolution, not all is lost. And if the Collegium Intermarium—whose goal is nothing less than rebuilding what the “long march” through the cultural institutions destroyed—can demonstrate that we can do something positive and that new institutions can be established, inspiring similar ventures across the Visegrad region—then perhaps there will be something to preserve in the future.”

    https://europeanconservative.com/2021/06/the-polish-conservatives-resuscitating-academic-life/

    • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

      God Bless Poland. (Plus, their women are almost preternaturally beautiful . . . )

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      The Eastern Europeans know where all of this bullshit leads and the Russians aren’t buying it either. The formercommies want no part of this nonsense and thank god for that.

      • Tundra

        Not just them. My neighbors are Laotian and have some pretty strong opinions on the commie bullshit.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        “officially the Lao People’s Democratic Republic”
        I’d expect them to be anti communist. Huh, I was completely unaware.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Whoops, Wikipedia cite

      • Tundra

        They hate commies. Both foreign and domestic.

  21. Sensei

    Guys Google is pitching:

    “Watch Pres. Biden & Dr. Fauci discuss the COVID-19 vaccine with YouTube Creators”

    Anybody want the link? I’m happy to share!

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Somebody needs to watch it and report back to us (not me though).

      • Sensei

        Sorry, prior engagement.

    • Sean

      *middle finger emoji*

    • Gadfly

      I’ve never heard of any of those YouTube creators, so hard pass.

      Now, if they were being interviewed by someone like PewDiePie or nigahiga, I might be tempted to give it a watch.

      And if they went with one of more edgier tubers, it would be a definite watch, but that’d never happen.

      What are the chances they could be tricked into giving an interview with Michael Malice?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Michael Malice? Somewhere between less than zero and less than less than zero.

  22. Hank

    What’s the worst that could happen? Review of Lee Clarke’s book Worst Cases:

    ‘Despair is not the state of mind that Clarke wants us to cultivate. Rather, he argues for a chastened awareness of threats facing us. We should be prudent—willing to think about and plan for contingencies we’d prefer to brush aside, but with a healthy sense of our limitations. “Worst cases,” Clarke writes, “should humble us more than they do.”’

    https://www.firstthings.com/web-exclusives/2021/06/worst-cases

  23. The Late P Brooks

    “Watch Pres. Biden & Dr. Fauci discuss the COVID-19 vaccine with YouTube Creators”

    Not even if they were drinking shots of Clorox.

    • R C Dean

      I dunno. If Biden is actually unscripted, that could be hilarious.

      • Sean

        I’m sure Twitter will have the highlights.

  24. Sean

    They’ve cancelled Uncle Ben. Just saw the commercial.

    Rebranding rice for racial justice.

    • UnCivilServant

      All these racist rebranding of products. When will the bigotry stop?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      The company should tell them to fuck off but the critics would be on them like white on rice. Oh well, another one bites the dust.

    • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

      OMG, that’s hilarious!

      • Tundra

        On a Squier. Take notes, kids. It isn’t about how pricey the guitar is

        Players don’t care.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Hey hey, that’s good. I prefer Knopfler’s style anyway.

      • kinnath

        Check the other one

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Sounds nice too, the rhythm’s a bit too reggaeish for Dire Straits though.

    • slumbrew

      That’s fantastic.

  25. Count Potato

    “Twitter has locked ICAN out of their account for the second time in 24 hours after they publicized their newly released dump of emails from Anthony Fauci.

    National File reported on Thursday that the Informed Consent Action Network (ICAN) was locked out of their Twitter account for 12 hours, after they publicized that they had acquired 2,957 pages of emails sent from Anthony Fauci between February and May of last year. The Big Tech platform locked the organization dedicated to increasing informed consent regarding vaccinations out of their account due to alleged violations of their misinformation policy regarding COVID-19, despite the fact that their tweet seemingly did not break any of the rules under that specific regulation.”

    https://nationalfile.com/breaking-twitter-suspends-ican-for-second-time-in-24-hours-over-fauci-email-dump-ican-promises-more-to-come/

    • Tundra

      Anyone Twitter blocks can now safely be assumed truthful. Not sure what they think is gonna happen.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Yeah, I kind of hold their veracity as above the mean as a rule of thumb.

    • Tundra

      So fight back, you little bitches.

      Docs have turned into dealership mechanics.

      • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

        My new doc (since returning to Alberta from the Lower Rainland™) has learned that I’m his client, not his “patient.” I ain’t patient with doctors by any stretch of the imagination. Fortunately for me, he’s nominally Muslim, so he DGAF about being woke or politically correct.

      • Tundra

        Nice. I gotta find one of those.