IFLA: The “They’re Waiting” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of June 13

by | Jun 13, 2021 | IFLA | 103 comments

MERCURY RETROGRADE.  Plan accordingly.

Otherwise, there are lots of potentially ominous things out there, but they’re not quite aligning to actual cause problems.  Still makes me suspicious.  Monday looks like a bad day for domestic life since Mars and the moon will be pulling directly on the earth.  On the 16th, the moon moving out of that alignment and into one with Saturn retrograde means either “a good day to do home improvement work” or “you will need to do some home improvement work.”  The two most likely sources of damage according to the position of the planets are water and/or cats.

It’s not all terrible news,  At least that Mars-Sun-Jupiter alignment is breaking up.

Soon, Hooman.

Gemini: Ace of Swords – kingmaker

Cancer:  Wheel of Fortune reversed – bad luck

Leo:  Strength reversed – weakness

Virgo:  9 of wands – lost in a forest

Libra:  Death – death

Scorpio:  4 of Coins – fat and happy with dubs

Sagittarius:  2 of Swords – bitch is gonna cut a bitch.  Twice.

Capricorn:  Knight of Swords – wrath, ruin, recklessness

Aquarius: 7 of Cups reversed – bullshit fails utterly

Pisces: The Hermit – avoid talking to people.  Stay inside.

Aries:  The Magician reversed – being clever bites you in the ass

Taurus: The World – It’s yours.  Or perhaps you’re it and want to feed some starving children

The puppy in her natural habitat

About The Author

Not Adahn

Not Adahn

Despite all my rage, I am still just an impeccably dressed rat.

103 Comments

  1. KSuellington

    “ bitch is gonna cut a bitch. Twice”

    Hmm, I’ve had worse horoscopes.

    On the tarmac waiting to take off for Baja. Looks like every single seat on this mutha is booked. Mexico is reaping the tourism rewards of actually admitting touristas.

    • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

      Excellent.

      • KSuellington

        Thanks! It is most excellent. And I get an hour of free WiFi it looks like through my carrier in flight so I can read the always mostly interesting commentariat.

    • DEG

      On the tarmac waiting to take off for Baja. Looks like every single seat on this mutha is booked. Mexico is reaping the tourism rewards of actually admitting touristas.

      Nice.

      What type of Covid lunacy are you going through to get there? Anything beyond the stupid face diapers on the plane?

      • KSuellington

        Muzzles required on the plane and at the airport. Lots of them are at half mast I notice. All Mexico requires is that you say you don’t have The Vid on a form. Thanks to Uncle Joe we have to get Vid tests within 72 hours of the return flight. Thanks a lot you geriatric fuck. Not a huge deal, 25 bucks each at the local health center in the town that’s a couple miles down a dirt road. I’m just praying that we don’t get a false positive, it’s the wife and I and our three boys. Mexico is one of the few countries that has been open almost the whole panic (think they closed for about 6 weeks or so). I’ve been down to this general area ten times over the last dozen years. It’ll be interesting to see how compliant the Mexicans are to the mask bullshit. I’d imagine not very. We will see more goats than people unless we go to town to shop groceries or eat.

      • DEG

        I think I’ll have to move Mexico up on my list of places to go to. Once face diapers on planes goes away.

      • KSuellington

        It’s a fantastic country with a huge variation of landscapes and geography. If you go anywhere on the Baja Peninsula let me know as I’ll give you info. I’ve been to the southern part of Quintana Roo close to Belize and that’s great as well but very different. One day I’d like to drive it from Tijuana to the end of the Baja and then ferry it over to the mainland to continue on.

      • westernsloper

        Tulum? I had one of my favorite vacations of my life down there. Made drives to several other ruins, spent some quality time on the beaches and drank margaritas at thatch roofed bars with the locals where we were the only english speakers. It was a blast.

      • DEG

        Will do. Thanks!

        The rest of this year is packed with a road trip out West for FreedomFest, somehow getting to Honey Harvest, and going to Florida in October for the Tom Woods 2000th show party.

        Next year I’d like to head out of the country, but we’ll see what the Covid stupidity is like then.

      • Madhatter

        Have taken the overnight ferry from Guaymas to La Paz. Hung out on deck till dark. Ate dinner onboard and slept up till a few hours before arrival. Beds in staterooms are small.

    • Chafed

      Bring lots of GIFs of hot volleyball players.

      /Asking for MS

      • KSuellington

        That gif is already legendary. Whenever I’m down there I’m struck by the fact that they aren’t sending us their hottest women.

      • Chafed

        I can’t believe Trump was right!

  2. Animal

    Libra: Death – death

    No.

    • 61North (south of Animal, though)

      You surviving the skeeters?

      • Animal

        So far. I’ve been fogging some around the edges of the yard. Also we have a lot of swallows that are eating them up. The fogger I’m using is not very persistent and the birds stay up at least ten or fifteen feet, so shouldn’t see any conflict.

      • 61North (south of Animal, though)

        Get a few 5 gallon bucket and toss a mosquito dunk in to kill the larvae before they get a chance to hatch. Place the buckets at the edge of your yard to make a perimeter and you should be good to go.

      • Not Adahn

        I wish there was a specific tick insecticide. I’d love to douse my woods, but I’d rather not annihilate the entire ecosystem.

      • pistoffnick

        A small flock of backyard chickens will take care of your tick problem (if you can keep the new puppy from killing the chickens).

      • Not Adahn

        She was socialized with chickens, so that should be OK. And the pup should keep cats away. The hawks are a different story. But honestly, that sounds like too much work. Just raising the pup is putting me at my limit.

      • pistoffnick

        But, but, the most expensive eggs you’ll ever eat!

        Also chickens are good entertainment.

      • Mojeaux

        Needz moar batz.

  3. Sean

    “Cancer: Wheel of Fortune reversed – bad luck”

    I don’t like game shows.

    • Drake

      Sounds like a rerun anyhow.

  4. Gender Traitor

    On the 16th, the moon moving out of that alignment and into one with Saturn retrograde means either “a good day to do home improvement work” or “you will need to do some home improvement work.” The two most likely sources of damage according to the position of the planets are water and/or cats.

    Have two characteristically curious cats. I’m willing to bet the options listed will be the latter in both cases.

    • Not Adahn

      Wait… someone reads the part above the tarot draw?

    • DEG

      She seems nice.

      • hayeksplosives

        I note she is running to the “I was just a scared girlfriend” defense. I’m guessing she was a fiercely proud feminist right up to the point where they brought up this incident from her past as an obstacle to her dream job.

      • DEG

        I tapped out of the article before that point. I went back and read the whole thing this time. Yep. I’ll bet you are right.

  5. 61North (south of Animal, though)

    Adhan, that white New Balance is the Peak Dad shoe.

    • Not Adahn

      Anything that signals I’m not a millennial is fine.

      • 61North (south of Animal, though)

        I wear my old gray ones for yard work

  6. Gustave Lytton

    Libra: Death – death

    Knew it.

    • Drake

      Godspeed sir!

  7. Gustave Lytton

    Dog nails on leather furniture. Ouch.

    • Not Adahn

      It’s fake. I have a mixture of custom pieces and placeholder pieces bought because I’m having guests over. The only good piece in the living room is a trophy table… which Lily did manage to chew a corner of when I was distracted.

  8. Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

    Gemini: Ace of Swords – kingmaker

    Okay, now I know you’re just makin’ shit up. The only time I’ve been a kingmaker is in chess.

  9. Yusef drives a Kia

    Love the Pup! watch your shoes……

    • Not Adahn

      Tulip demands puppy pictures.

      • Tulip

        Thank you!

  10. EvilSheldon

    “MERCURY RETROGRADE. Plan accordingly.”

    Well, at least they’re not just hangin’ ’round, pretending to be my friend…

    “Cancer: Wheel of Fortune reversed – bad luck”

    Roger that, leave nothing to chance.

  11. Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

    The Spousal Unit and I imbibed too much last night. Had friends over for dinner, and kept drinking delicious things. After the friends left, we went for a walk so’s the pup could have her evening constitutional. SU was dragging a bit.

    “It’s the gin
    that did me in.”

    Still dragging this morning. Ouchie.

    • KSuellington

      Sunday Morning Coming Down.

      Willie’s version is the best version.

    • DEG

      I’m slightly hungover too. I’m trying to avoid “hair of the dog”, but boozy coffee is calling my name.

      • DEG

        I caved.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    Sagittarius: 2 of Swords – bitch is gonna cut a bitch. Twice.

    Cutter, or cuttee?

    Stupid tennis. I don’t get CNBC the MSNBC business channel.

    • Ted S.

      NBC should have known a three-hour block wouldn’t be enough.

      Still, the tennis is better than watching cars go around in ovals.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    All things considered, I’d rather have naked Katie Hill lolling on my couch.

    • KSuellington

      Brushing your hair while you take a bong rip?

      • DEG

        Not a bad idea.

      • 61North (south of Animal, though)

        ..yes

    • Chafed

      Really? The crazy level appears quite high.

  14. DEG

    Leo: Strength reversed – weakness

    Huh.

      • hayeksplosives

        It is being called a suicide.

      • Ownbestenemy

        “My family received significant death threats shortly after breaking this story,” Sign said at the time. “Credit cards hacked. You know, my children, we have code words. We have secret code words that they know what to do.”

        That is Jason Bourne, Eagle Eye and Enemy of the State all rolled into one.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action

  15. The Late P Brooks

    Still, the tennis is better than watching cars go around in ovals.

    Not an oval, today.

    *may or may not make the slightest difference to you

    • Ted S.

      Is it on a Möbius strip?

  16. Gustave Lytton

    Well, shit. Heavy steady rain yesterday and today. Was going to burn this weekend one last time before the end of the season but looks like it might have to be Tuesday and it closes Tuesday night. Still have a bunch of brush to gather and now it’s getting saturated.

    • Ted S.

      That’s what woodchippers are for.

      • Gustave Lytton

        The goal is to reduce potential fuel loads, not make them easier to ignite.

  17. rhywun

    being clever bites you in the ass

    Business as usual.

    • Ted S.

      Poor, poor Rhywun.

  18. westernsloper

    Kingmaker. Damn straight and that is why I am smoking a tri tip and a rack of ribs today.

    • Sean

      I’ll bring a bottle of bourbon.

      • westernsloper

        I would drink it!

    • rhywun

      I don’t use a scale (my grinder measures in “seconds”) but otherwise that is almost exactly what I do. To be fair, I never make more than one cup a day.

      • Not Adahn

        Yeah, I grind for a certain time from a hopper with excess beans. Which means that the amount of actual grounds will vary each time. Nor do I weigh my water to the gram.

        I also brew enough for breakfast and to take some with me to work.

    • DEG

      I tapped out. Too involved. I also saw no booze.

      • Chafed

        +1 deal breaker

    • zwak

      Oh, its The Brown idiot.

      Seriously, using Ml for coffee, what a maroon.

    • EvilSheldon

      That’s almost exactly how I do it, right down to the equipment. Except, I only use the scale when changing out to a new brand of beans – I go volumetric day-to-day, 4.5 scoops of Trager Brothers Blend 90 gets me close enough.

  19. The Late P Brooks

    Frogs in masks.

    STFU

  20. Gustave Lytton

    Yes YouTube, I am always looking for minor C and D list celebrities and sports participants to “interview” random people with credentials in their name about Covid. Can’t get enough of those videos!

    • Not Adahn

      It’s for your own good. Experts say so, and Youtub listens to experts!

      • Gustave Lytton

        They’re as stupid as websites which have intermixed low quality ads straight into their content. It’s not getting me to click into this one stupid trick, it just makes me ignore your entire platform. Dumbass kids.

  21. Tundra

    What an adorable pup!

    Now take that shoe away, right now!

    • Not Adahn

      Yeah, she steals things in order to get me to chase her.

      • Tundra

        It works!

      • Not Adahn

        Oh yeah. The shoe isn’t a big deal. But she’s pretty good about figuring out what is high value (or high potential disaster, like pens).

      • Tundra

        Yes, they are amazingly clever. When my GSD was a pup, she snagged a bag of a Hershey’s Kisses, unwrapped and ate every one!

        That was bad.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Bella did that, but didn’t bother with the wrapper, Hershey dark in purple wrappers makes for some exotic dog poop,

  22. hayeksplosives

    I’m still in bed trying not to let my skin touch anything while it recovers from my solar stupidity yesterday.

    My eyes are puffy too, which I take to be a sign that my body is working to filter whatever it can. Detox time!

    I am used to clever ideas biting me in the ass, so the horoscope sounds legit.

    Later on, some musicians are coming to the house to jam on guitars with my husband. I Intend to hide.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I just got all the tracks for my Collaborator’s latest piece, it should be a fun afternoon, He lives in Cali, so it’s cool to write music from across the country,

      • hayeksplosives

        Do you ever play together live on zoom or just share the tracks and mix as leisure?

        Either way, it’s cool that the Internet is fast and ubiquitous enough to allow that kind of collaboration!

      • It's pronounced ManiSTEE

        No Zoom, we use the same DAWs and sync our tracks between our systems, so the tracks always sound in the same room, then we mix,
        it’s amazing that we can actually do it at all, the 21c. Rocks! and so do I.

    • westernsloper

      Nice.

    • Sean

      “Rand is my friend.”. ?

    • EvilSheldon

      Leftists are abusers. True. And we still keep going back to them over, and over, and over…

  23. Chafed

    You have a sweet pup NA.

    • westernsloper

      Ya, she is adorable. We were talking pups in the happy hour last night and NA and his pup came up.

      • Not Adahn

        She is sweet and adorable, and I have no idea how I’d manage if I didn’t have a dog park nearby.

        I am hoping she mellows and develops enough impulse control that I can take her with me downtown where there are many restaurants that permit dogs in their outdoor areas.

      • westernsloper

        My Golden/Lab mix never got over the impulse control. Back in the day I had a Nissan pickup he loved to ride in the back of and I took him to Home Depot one day. After I had purchased what I needed and headed out of the store I saw he was not in the back of the truck. I found him in the store making friends with everyone there. Most people are cool about that but occasionally you run across a person with a fear of 120 lb dogs who can’t stop wagging their tails.

  24. westernsloper

    *checks weather

    3F above perfect, humidity 5% and I bought some hose clamps to fix my leaky pool pump hoses so the pool is topping off and shall now be filtered.

    • Nephilium

      Rain in the morning put a damper on getting a ride in today, tomorrow is supposed to rain, and after that the temperatures should drop down to the low 70’s. Currently sipping on (yet another) grapefruit beer.

  25. hayeksplosives

    Thank goodness we have this Ho (Jennifer Ho) to explain it to us honkeys.

    The point I’ve made through all of those experiences is that anti-Asian racism has the same source as anti-Black racism: white supremacy.

    So when a Black person attacks an Asian person, the encounter is fueled perhaps by racism, but very specifically by white supremacy. White supremacy does not require a white person to perpetuate it.

    https://www.colorado.edu/asmagazine/2021/04/08/white-supremacy-root-race-related-violence-united-states

  26. Raven Nation

    “Pisces: The Hermit – avoid talking to people. Stay inside.”

    Can do.

  27. It's pronounced ManiSTEE

    I did my chores, now it’s time for Disc, those trees aren’t going to hit themselves, then Chorizo for dinner with eggs and Queso. And bake a Blueberry pie,
    Ciao Glibbies!