Summer cocktails – Frozen drinks in an ice cream maker

by | Jun 3, 2021 | Cocktails, LifeSkills, Products You Need, Recipes | 137 comments

Today we’re finally talking about frozen drinks.  Now, the traditional method is to take a blender, or some crushed ice, and make a slushy with shaved ice.  I’m not a big fan of that method, mainly because you can make one drink without needing to clean out the blender.  You could buy a specialty machine, but why would you want that?  Instead, we’re going to make our frozen drinks with something you may already have in your possession.  An ice cream maker.

There are two basic recipes that we’ll be working with today.  One is going to be a sorbet based one, consisting of fruit, sugar and water; while the other will be the traditional Philadelphia style ice cream base (if you want more hassle, you can go the French route, but that’s a custard damn it!).  Whichever you’re going with, we’re going to start by making a base, letting it cool, then adding the alcohol to it.  If you add the alcohol over the heat, you’ll be driving off some of the alcohol, and who wants that?

For the volume, check the manual on your ice cream maker, and keep in mind if you put in too much alcohol or sugar, your frozen drink won’t set, and will just get cold.

So let’s start with two simple sorbet based drinks, and then move onto an ice cream based one:

Frozen Tom Collins

For those who aren’t aware, a Tom Collins is a drink of lemon juice, simple syrup, gin, and a splash of soda.  We won’t be able to get the soda water to do much in this, so instead we’re going to add some depth of flavor with a small splash of limoncello

Base syrup:

  • 1 part lemon juice
  • 1 part water
  • 1 part sugar
  • zest of one lemon
  • splash of peppermint extract (optional, but peppermint and lemon are a natural pairing for me)

After it cools, add in:

  • splash of limoncello (optional, adds a bit of depth of flavor)
  • ½ part gin

Frozen Greyhound 

A Greyhound is an old cocktail (earliest mentions refer to as a twist on a pre-existing drink) that goes back to prohibition times.  We’re not sweetening this one as much as the Tom Collins, but we’ll add a pinch of salt to add some depth (too much salt will also affect the ability of the drink to set).

Base Syrup:

  • 2 parts grapefruit juice
  • 1 part water
  • 1 part sugar
  • pinch of salt

After it cools, add in:

  • 1 ½ part vodka

For both of these, the process is the same.  Add the base syrup ingredients into a pot, bring them to a simmer, stirring frequently with a whisk, until the sugar is dissolved.  If you wish, you can steep ingredients in at that point as it cools.

After it cools, stir in the alcohol, and prepare it in your ice cream maker according to the instructions.

For the dairy based on, we’ll put together a recipe for our very own Gender Traitor.  We’ll take a drink that was made popular in the worst of all times (the 1970’s), and make a frozen drink out of it.

The Mudslide

Ice cream base:

  • 2 part heavy cream
  • 1 part whole milk
  • ½ part of white sugar
  • If you want a classic vanilla, a tablespoon of vanilla extract or one whole vanilla bean will do that (here’s where you can change your flavor base)

After it cools, add in:

  • ½ part Irish Cream
  • ½ part coffee liquor
  • ½ part vodka (optional)

You’re going to be going through the same process here.  For those who just are looking for ice cream or sorbet recipes, go ahead and follow the first part and just skip adding the liquor.  Based on (surprising to me) popular demand, I’ll be tackling refreshments for those who are looking for something that can be mixed up without the alcohol next time.

About The Author

Nephilium

Nephilium

Nephilium is a geek of multiple types living in the vast suburban forests of Cleveland.

137 Comments

  1. Don Escaped Texas

    cheers

    * Shiner *

    • Chafed

      Your wife hit you?

  2. westernsloper

    Mudslide: Would

    • straffinrun

      Would you, could you a fudge slide?

  3. westernsloper

    Based on (surprising to me) popular demand, I’ll be tackling refreshments for those who are looking for something that can be mixed up without the alcohol next time.

    Fuck that.

    • hayeksplosives

      I will enjoy it.

      My livers not what it used to be.

      • blackjack

        Take care of your liver, once it’s gone all you’ll have is a dy’er

  4. straffinrun

    Sorry. The ice cream machine isn’t working today. Would you like an apple pie instead?

      • rhywun

        It would never occur to me to order ice cream at McDonalds. Just not a dessert guy. I guess I had a few of those shitty apple “pies” when I was little but not my choice.

      • Nephilium

        The old deep fried McDonald’s pies were awesome. Unless you happened to get one right out of the fryer, and bit down into molten apple filling. Once they switched to the baked ones, it just wasn’t the same.

        One of the local chains offers the deep fried pies, but they don’t have the same blistered outside as the old McDonald’s ones.

      • Spudalicious

        The baked ones suck balls.

        The molten surprise just raised the risk/reward level.

      • Chafed

        OMG the old fried ones were awesome. More than once I bit in when it was still molten. You would think I would have learned the first time I got blisters in my mouth.

  5. Hank

    I’m your ice cream man, all my flavors are guaranteed to satisfy…wait, I’m not sure if that was appropriate to the topic.

    • hayeksplosives

      Utah compliant.

      If you order a “double”in Utah, it’s required to be 1.5 Oz.

      A single is 1 Oz.

      Math is hard.

      • EvilSheldon

        And if you order a quadruple? They probably just throw you in county for the night…

        *sigh* I love everything about Utah except for the fucking booze laws.

      • rhywun

        Utahianers would probably say their stupid booze laws are why you love Utah.

    • Nephilium

      As stated, if you add too much alcohol, it won’t freeze, unless you’re employing liquid nitrogen.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        or extremely high pressures

        speaking of physical properties and deference to cops: ethanol is ABSOLUTELY odorless. Any cop who says he smelled alcohol on the defendant is either a liar or toweringly ignorant.

      • Shpip

        If Officer Friendly tries that “I smell alcohol on you” nonsense, counter with this.

      • Chafed

        It’s called testilying for a reason.

      • Not Adahn

        ethanol is ABSOLUTELY odorless

        I have lots of absolute ethanol that says you’re wrong.

      • Not Adahn

        Yes, we had to have a special license to buy/store it, and we have to keep it locked up.

  6. straffinrun

    Be sure to keep your pants pulled up when you take a pee. I have a feeling they put the sign up at my office because of me.

    https://ibb.co/1mKhL7D

    • Hyperion

      Y’all still have those racist urinals?

    • Sensei

      Nah, it’s in ~masu form.

      Although it is nice to know Japan also has folks that completely drop everything at the urinal.

    • rhywun

      All that sign is telling me is “watch your back side”.

      • Sensei

        Rule – Let’s not stick our ass out.

        The thing that fascinates me is that the person is being snarky and crude, but still uses politer forms. It’s not odd by Japanese standards, but always cracks me up.

      • rhywun

        So… wildly inappropriate by American standards.

    • Gustave Lytton

      No kancho in the workplace!

  7. SP

    Yum! Thanks, Neph. A timely post, since it’s 105F today and going to be even hotter tomorrow. Sheesh, Arizona.

    • rhywun

      Yikes. But it’s dry heat, right??

      Sixties here but on my third day back in the office, still getting used to all the hoofing around after a lazy winter, and 90% humidity, I was not a happy camper by the end of the day. I asked/told my boss I’m WFH tomorrow.

      • rhywun

        PS. I’m literally sore from all the walking around. My hips ain’t what they used to be.

        OTOH yeah I could stand to lose a couple dozen pounds. Sigh.

      • rhywun

        PPS. Given I couldn’t walk at all 14 months ago I guess I should count my blessings and STFU now 🙂

      • Don Escaped Texas

        how’s the plumbing ?

      • rhywun

        It has its good days and its bad days. More of the good. The bad days might just be the shape of things to come for all I know.

    • Nephilium

      60’s and raining all day, supposed to peek into the 80’s tomorrow, with rain and high 80’s expected almost all week.

  8. Hyperion

    The bioterror that wasn’t

    I don’t even know who these guys are, but could you disingenuous hacks just give Rees the fucking money already?

  9. Aloysious

    Good Lord, these sound wonderful. Especially that frozen Tom Collins.

    I’ve been wanting to branch out and make a cocktail out of guava nectar and lime juice.

    • Nephilium

      I’ve decided to branch out, now that I have a stockpile of flip top jars, and very large mason jars. I’ve got a batch of fennelcello being made right now. If it turns out well, that may be a later piece.

  10. DEG

    Frozen drinks can be dangerous.

    • Old Man With Candy

      Back in our Austin days, SP and I would go to Round Rock Express games and drink the stadium’s frozen Margaritas, basically alcoholic Slurpees. With a Texas-sized dose of alcohol. Perfect in the 105° heat.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        you can get from that stadium to Rogers Hornsby’s grave in 30 minutes driving easy: due south

  11. Count Potato

    Salt and sugar in a greyhound?

    One time I ordered a vodka and grapefruit.

    “You know that’s called a greyhound.”

    “Yes, I know, I was a bartender.”

    “And you thought I wouldn’t know what that is?”

    “Well, I also knew not to argue with the customers.”

    • Nephilium

      A certain sugar level helps the drink set, and salt well help balance out the sugar. So you could call it a twist on a salty dog instead if that makes it sound better (or a paloma, or any number of various drinks). I mean, you’re already freezing it, so it’s different to begin with.

  12. Timeloose

    Great stuff Neph. I had a frozen bourbon and coke at a party. It was dammed good.

    The consistency was similar to shaved ice. Very refreshing and boozy.

    We finished off our Limoncello last week. it’s a great combo of sour, bitter, and sweet.

    • Nephilium

      Back in the long ago, one of the suburbs (Lakewood) would do an art fest on one of the main streets. They would shut it down to traffic, and people would rent tents to sell their wares. The stores that were on the street would also set up tables to sell items as well. The beer/wine/liquor store would have a snow-cone machine out front, with a couple of flavors for the kids. For the adults they would offer to flavor it with limoncello or a couple other options (depending on how well they knew you).

      • Timeloose

        I had a relative that would make the Italian ices with limoncello and other cordials.
        Good ideas all.

        The local shitty convenient stores now have boozy slush machines. Unfortunately and not surprisingly most are crap.

  13. Sensei

    I don’t think I could come up with a better example of what Autotune is and how it’s basically used to make lots of current music sound awful.

    https://youtu.be/Thcq0DttuYA

  14. Spudalicious

    Nice, Neph. A blender full of Ramos Fizzes used to be a holiday standard. I’m wondering if you could just pour it in the machine.

    • Timeloose

      Oooh I drank a lot of those in NO. That reminds me I need a bottle of Pimms

      • Spudalicious

        Waaay to easy to drink.

    • rhywun

      blender full of Ramos Fizzes

      *drool*

      My favorite cocktail.

      • Spudalicious

        I used to have the blender size recipe in my head. Haven’t had one in 20 years.

  15. Shpip

    Whenever I’m in New Orleans in the non-summer, I make a point to hit a Garden District restaurant called Superior Seafood.

    Happy Hour entails 75-cent raw oysters and this little baby, 16oz for eight bucks. I usually just inform the waiter to bring me a full plate / glass whenever mine gets empty until I tell him to stop.

  16. kinnath

    kinnath in college days.

    One package frozen strawberries (still frozen).

    Once can crappy strawberry soda.

    A lot of rum.

    Blend until liquified.

    • Mojeaux

      crappy strawberry soda.

      No such thing. Shasta #FTW!

      • commodious spittoon

        Now that’s a name I haven’t heard since 2004.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Someone needs to watch more Paul Harrell.

      • commodious spittoon

        Now that’s a name I’ve never heard.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        He’s the inventor of the meat target.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Ever had Faygo Redpop? Even the Juggalos hate it.

      • Mojeaux

        Never heard of it.

      • Gender Traitor

        Shamefacedly showing my age, this is the one that came to mind first.

      • Mojeaux

        ❤️❤️❤️

      • Gender Traitor

        Barq’s Red Cream Soda makes the world’s best homemade popsicles.

  17. Toxteth O'Grady

    Saw an ice-cream maker at Goodwill today. It was tempting.

    Haagen-Dazs Irish Cream Brownie is yummy.

    • Gender Traitor

      Haagen-Dazs Irish Cream Brownie

      HOW DID I NOT KNOW THAT EXISTS???

      [Note to Chafed: I’m not going to make my GlibFit goal.]

  18. slumbrew

    Little. Ball. Of. Hate.

    (with all respect to Verbeek)

    • rhywun

      *puke*

      • slumbrew

        Yesssss, let the hate flow through you…

  19. Gender Traitor

    …a recipe for our very own Gender Traitor

    Ermagerd! What a delightful surprise! And to think I’ve been busy this evening and almost missed this post!

    The drink sounds delicious. Now I need an ice cream maker. And a week off work to spend on my treadmill after I make & consume the drink…

    Thanks a bunch, Neph! 😀

  20. slumbrew

    On topic:

    I really need to make David Lebovitz’s negroni slush recipe this summer.

    His Perfect Scoop is a really good ice cream cookbook.

  21. Chipping Pioneer

    TCP/IteotP

    • Chafed

      He’s no Clinton.

  22. The Hyperbole

    FYI Breach is a horrible movie, don’t be fooled by the promise of Bruce Willis, spaceships, and aliens. No amount of frozen alcohol could make it watchable.

    • Chafed

      I never heard of it. When did it get released?

      • The Hyperbole

        2020. It’s on Amazon Prime. Its bad, not even the kind of bad that some people like, just bad bad.

      • Chafed

        I supposed we were warned by Die Hard 3 and every one after it.

    • l0b0t

      LOL… I’ll see your Breach and raise you his latest, Cosmic Sin.

    • Plinker762

      Since the banishment of OMB, there is no longer any derp causing Derpetologist to fade away.

    • hayeksplosives

      These guys have never noticed the correlation of how well people take care of property of any kind with how much of it that they themselves worked for.

      A teenager who scrapes together enough to buy a fixer-upper car and works on it with his uncle to get it driving again takes better care of it than a spoiled kid who is given a brand new car by mom and dad.

      Putting people into homes they haven’t been disciplined enough to save for and can’t get a credit rating for a loan is what is known as a Bad Idea.

      Banks love to give mortgages to people who will dutifully pay them off over 15 or 30 years. The only reason they don’t give a mortgage to any particular borrower is if they think the guy won’t reliably pay it back.

      It’s not snobbery or racism; it’s boring old statistics and actuarial tables.

    • hayeksplosives

      Oy vey.

    • EvilSheldon

      Why should anyone be ‘concerned’ about “…killing in defense of myself,”?

      Self-defense is normal and healthy, and the left’s attempts to denormalize it are a huge tell.

      • Festus

        At the rate we’re going everyone will be wearing grey jumpsuits before long.

  23. UnCivilServant

    Why am I sitting around watching Kojak episodes and trying to write a story I can’t monetize? It’s almost 2am.

    • The Hyperbole

      Why can you monetize it?

      • rhywun

        Because it’s Kojak fan-fic…?

      • Festus

        “I wan’t to rub oil on my bald head and rub it all over your body. Who loves ya Baby?’

  24. hayeksplosives

    Well, crap. I don’t want to get the Covid vaccine but I do want my life back.

    If I have to get it, I’m leaning toward J & J single dose.

    Anyone have advice on which vaccine is “least bad”?

    • Sean

      I’m in the don’t do it camp.

      JUST SAY NO.

      • westernsloper

        I’m with Sean. Also, seems a neg test can be substituted for a vacc card in most instances. I am sticking to the, “had it, I am immune, prove I am not” rant.

    • rhywun

      I was under the impression you don’t get to choose.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        You can look around and see who’s advertising what and some places do more than one choice.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Hard to say as far as least bad goes. In the short term probably Moderna is that one seems to have the fewest serious side effects and the highest efficacy. RNA vaccine though so long term who knows? J&J probably the least risky long term but there’s the occasional clotting problems with that one and there are unknown long term risks with that one too.

    • Gender Traitor

      We finally decided to do it (caved?) and had to hunt around for the J & J/Janssen, which AFAIK is not the same mRNA-style shot as the Pfizer or Moderna – CDC site calls the J & J a “viral vector” type. My main reason was because of our friend’s recurred cancer – we wanted to be able to be around her and didn’t know if she might start treatment that would wreak havoc on her immune system. Even if getting it just made her more comfortable around us, it was worth it to me.

      TT had gotten his at one of the local chain drug stores, but they were out of J&J by the time I was ready. We finally found that our grocery’s pharmacy had one dose left, so we went straight up there, and I got it, For the record, I was aware of no unpleasant side/aftereffects, unlike many of my co-workers.

      • Festus

        It’s the red-haired gene.

      • Gender Traitor

        Lucky me! Pretty recessive in my family – reportedly none for a couple of generations until I showed up. My older sister got reddish-brown hair, but mainly got the freckles in spades, which I largely escaped. ::Nelson laugh::

    • Gender Traitor

      Thanks for the unplugged stuff you’ve linked lately, Sean. Right up my alley (not a euphemism.)

      • Sean

        ?

    • Gender Traitor

      Mucho respecto for adding music to a beam routine. That apparatus, to me, would require the most concentration & focus of any equipment the chick gymnasts use, so as not to slip, fall, and crack some portion of your anatomy on that unforgiving hunk of wood (NOT A EUPHEMISM!!!)

  25. Festus

    Ah, cocktails… My poor old body doesn’t process hard alcohol anymore so it’s beer for me until it isn’t. On a happier note, I polished off the remainder of Judi’s Pacifico Clara just now. Man that taste brought back some memories… 33 years ago in Mexico, partying with random Mexicans I ordered a shot of cuervo and a Corona. I was roundly mocked. “Pacifico ees good ! Corona? No beuna! First night there and I drank it religiously for the next two weeks.

  26. Fourscore

    Rise and Shine, Sleepy Heads, it’s almost 6 AM. Do you know where your teenagers are?

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, 4(20)! Going on 7 am here in OH’s Miami Valley. My teenagers? Never born, so – not to be crude, but…still in my ovaries?

    • Festus

      All grown up with a few teens of their own?

      • Festus

        Also glad to read that you are more mobile! Mornin’ All!

      • Gender Traitor

        Good morning, Fes! 🙂

  27. Tres Cool

    suh’ fam ?

    yo whats goody

    GT- if you havent left yet, mind the fog. If you have left, never mind.

    • Gender Traitor

      Still here for a tiny bit. Thanks for the heads-up, and good morning, homey! 😀

      • Tres Cool

        I pulled something in my back. Jugsy makes her triumphant retun to Chez Tres again tonight.
        How am I gonna pleasure a fat girl when Im on the DL ?

      • Festus

        Just lay back and think of Jugsy?

  28. Festus

    Further good news – the Government behemoth that runs auto insurance recently changed their payout rules and dropped rates across the board. My monthly payment dropped from $130 to $80 and I get a chunk of change for the overcharge. WOOT! I get some of my money back!

    • Gender Traitor

      Woo hoo! Spend it all on loose women and fast cars and…watch your rates go up again.

      • Festus

        It’s small beer. Enough to pay the vet bill but something is better than nothing.

      • Festus

        I’ll take anything that even remotely smells like a win at this point!

      • Tres Cool

        “And I will make it felony to drink small beer.”

        -Henry VI, Part 2

      • Festus

        Yes!

    • Timeloose

      stirring my brandy with a nail…………

    • Gender Traitor

      Down & dirty!

      Good morning, Timely! 😉

  29. Festus

    Call out to Chafed if he’s still about – Thank you so much for that cougar video last Sunday. Judi and I really enjoyed it and yes, that was him.

    • Festus

      My routine works for me but thanks for your concern, Karen.

    • Festus

      They are ones that are still masking and freaking out over basically nothing that would affect them. It’s monster-under-the-bed syndrome.