This one is great! I don’t even have to come down to the armored studio at Glibs HQ! All I have to do is have the Cryptids submit an anecdote from their … uh, interesting lives. I hope they come up with something good. Not that anyone is reading this…everyone is on the Glibs Zoom, or out eating, drinking, listening to Finnish Death Metal or what not. But the few of you that straggle in here need an excuse to comment, so here you go:
ZARDOZ APPROPRIATES BRUTAL CULTURE!
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ REMINDS YOU, THE GUN IS GOOD, THE PENIS IS EVIL. SO WE ARE CLEAR ON THAT, YES? GOOD…NOW TO ZARDOZ’S STORY. BEFORE THE FAILED COVID CLEANSING OF THE BRUTALS, ZARDOZ MADE A LONG OTR DELIVERY OF GRAIN, FOR THE VORTEX. IT INVOLVED GOING TO THE BRUTAL CITY OF “EL PASO”. ONCE THE GRAIN WAS OFF LOADED, THE ETERNALS AT THE GRAIN ELEVATOR CONVINCED ZARDOZ TO JOIN THEM, RIGHT ACROSS THE BORDER IN THE BRUTAL CITY OF “CIUDAD JUAREZ” – WHERE THEY OFTEN WENT TO A LOCATION THAT SERVED THE SPECIAL “DRINK AND DROWN”. IT WAS A LARGE AMOUNT OF ETHANOL FOR A SMALL AMOUNT OF CURRENCY.
ZARDOZ LOST COUNT OF THE NUMBER OF BARRELS OF “TEQUILA” AND “BEER” THAT WERE ROLLED INTO HIS MAW. NOR DOES ZARDOZ REMEMBER HAVING A TATTOO CARVED ONTO HIS SIDE WITH A HEART SHAPE AROUND THE NAME OF HIS LOST, BELOVED KITTEH, “MR. WHISKERS”.
IT TOOK THE TECHNICIANS AT THE VORTEX 2 DAYS TO LASER SCRUB IT OFF. ZARDOZ’S HEADACHE CIRCUITS TOOK THAT LONG TO CLEAR UP AS WELL.
ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
HOW THIS HAPPEN?
SEA SMITH HAPPY BE HERE. HE LIKE TALK WITH FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN LAND HOOMANS. SO HE TELL STORY OF TIME HIM “INTERACT” WITH RUSSIA HOOMAN SUBMARINE. BY INTERACT, MEAN RAPE. SEA SMITH DECIDE HE GO VISIT SWEDEN. HE SWIM UP GULF AND GET TICKLED! IT SONAR FROM RUSSIAN HOOMAN SUBMARINE. SEA SMITH THINK IT FRISKY, SO HE DECIDE PLAY WITH SUB. BY PLAY, MEAN RAPE. SUB GO VERY FAST AND TRY GET AWAY. IT HIT ROCKS!
OOPS.
SEA SMITH FIND OUT LATER, THAT SWEDISH LAND HOOMANS NOT HAPPY. “WHY YOU STUCK ON THE ROCKS IN OUR NAVY HARBOR?” “WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?” IT BIG MESS.
SEA SMITH JUST LAUGH AND SWIM AWAY. HE GUESS IT TURN OUT OK LATER.
COME ON IN, WATER IS FINE!
HOW MUCH COMMERCIAL PAY?
WHEN STEVE SMITH GRADUATE FOREST LAW SCHOOL, HIM TAKE SIDE JOBS MAKE ENDS MEET. IT TAKE TIME TO BECOME PROMINENT FOREST LAWYER! IN MEANTIME, STEVE SMITH HAVE CAVE RENT PAY. SO HIM SIGN UP AT TEMP AGENCY. IT TAKE THREE TRIES. STAFF KEPT YELLING “SASQUATCH, RUN!” “BIGFOOT ATTACK, AIEEE!” ON THREE TRY, DESK HOOMAN SO STONED ON JAZZ LETTUCE, HIM STAY PUT AND SAY “WOW…CAN I HELP YOU, BIG FELLAH?” STEVE SMITH SIGN UP.
STEVE SMITH GET CALL 3 DAYS LATER, BE IN COMMERCIAL! HIM HELP SELL USED CAR FOR “FAST EDDIE’S USED CAR EMPORIUM” OUTSIDE TACOMA. WHEN HIM SHOW UP AT SET, HOOMANS CONFUSED. THEM SAY “OH, ALREADY IN COSTUME? WE’LL JUST TOUCH UP A FEW THINGS.” STEVE SMITH NOT SURE WHAT THEM MEAN, BUT HIM SIT AND GET FUSS OVER.
JOB NOT HARD, IT INVOLVE BEAT UP CAR WHEN FAST EDDIE SAY PRICE BAD. STEVE SMITH BELIEVE IN METHOD ACTING, SO HIM NOT JUST BEAT UP CAR, HIM RAPE CAR. DIRECTOR YELL “CUT! CUT!” STEVE SMITH NO LISTEN. CREW RUN AWAY, BUT LEAVE CAMERA ON.
COMMERCIAL NOT RUN. BUT STEVE SMITH FIND OUT FILM GO UNDERGROUND. HIM STILL GET RESIDUAL CHECK THIS DAY… SOME IN MONEY, BUT SOME HIM CONFUSE? WHAT IS “EURO”? WHAT IS “YEN”?
FREE CASCADIA.
>>WE’LL JUST TOUCH UP A FEW THINGS
STEVE SMITH ALSO TOUCH UP A FEW THINGS
STAFF KEPT YELLING “SASQUATCH, RUN!” “BIGFOOT ATTACK, AIEEE!”
… and Yeti persisted.
::squinty eyes::
Squidly eyes?
OMFG. Winner.
For you, as promised, DMLOOYTJ! Because you can’t beat the classics.
HAHAHA! Awesome, GT!
That reminds me of the Many Faces of Ron Swanson meme
(Forgot to note the title: “The Many Moods of the Irish Setter.”)
Another favorite you may have already seen.
❤️
This made my night.
ZARDOZ in a sombrero is second only to ZARDOZ in a cowboy hat.
*quiet rage*
I heard the most unwanted sound of a snap trap going Ker-clack on a mouse. I’d been mouse free for the better part of a year.
It was oddly caught on just one limb, so I had to take the pellet gun to it. That pellet gun confounds me. Some times it puts a neat little hole in mice. This time it exploded and threw the carcass almost ten feet into the bathroom.
I went and checked the other traps, and found one behind the fridge had been moved. So I ended up with smart mice, and this guy got caught trying to move a second trap.
Dammit.
*sigh.*
Sorry. 🙁
Next time you may want to skip the hollow points.
These are flat-tipped pellets. I don’t know what their terminal ballistics look like. But I’d expect the same performance from six feet out.
Still, I’m more annoyed that the mice are back.
Yeah, that sucks. The only good thing about having mice is that it means you probably don’t have rats. (Or so I’ve heard. I hope that’s true.)
I once tried one of the glue traps. Not recommended. As I said above, you can’t beat the classics.
One good cat and you’ll never see another live mouse.
*raises finger*
Oh, you said good cat.
We have two, a fighter and a hunter. The fighter beats up unwanted cats that come around and the hunter kills everything she can. Birds, lizards, mice, all of them. The neighbors thank us for her leaving dead mice at their houses. They let one stray male come around, but no others.
Ironically, the fighter was the one we sprung out of cat prison. The hunter was a rescue from Disneyland. She learned to hunt from our former cat, before she passed on.
My house is a terrible place for cats.
I don’t want to find out whether or not either of our cats is a good mouser.
First, of course, I don’t want mice.
Second, I can easily imagine that they’d just sit and stare at the damn rodent, then wander back to the food dispenser.
Last mouse I had was > 20 years ago and in another city. My cat found a mouse and just played with it all night until I finally caught the fucking thing myself and tossed it outside.
We just adopted two young male cats, littermates. First of all, they are crazy, second of all, they would have more fun, for certain values of fun, with a mouse than anything I have ever seen. Watching them go after moths is a kick in the pants.
You shoot mice in a trap with a pellet gun? Doesn’t that leave marks in your floor?
Gives the place character. You can tell potential buyers it was a speakeasy back in the day.
Not from six feet away at a forty-five degree angle.
I recommend poison, it’s a lot less messy. Warning, when the mice eat the poison they almost immediately run for water. So close your toilet bowl lids and keep dog/cat bowls out of reach.
At my buddy’s place he kept a six iron in the kitchen, it was known as the ‘mouse iron’ for obvious reasons.
O/T – I’m happy to report that life in these parts appears to be back to normal: It
iswas a baseball night for us, but it’s raining and the home team is losing. Pretty handily.Just like old times! 😀
I thought baseball didn’t play in the rain?
Standard July here: cooped inside in the AC.
Oh, no – we left before this, but they’re in a rain delay in the fourth inning. We got home just before it really started coming down at our place.
We’ve stood in the stadium concourse during many a rain delay over the years, but TT just can’t do that right now.
Apparently they suspended the game, and I’ve already received an e-mail with a link to the season schedule and to the site where I can exchange our e-tickets. I hope I can figure out how…
You can do it! ??✊?
I kind of have the same opinion of sports-in-person as I do with movies – can be fun with the right person(s), otherwise greatly prefer the tee-vee version.
We’re there as much for the atmosphere and the between-inning shenanigans as for the baseball…which at the Single A level is often not so great.
My favorite entre-inning fan-participation game: toddler races! 😀
My friends and I call those “smoke breaks”. We only attend soccer matches so there is only one of them. 🙁
Growing up in California I never understood how a baseball game could get rained out.
Obligatory.
Indeed.
Minor league ball is the best. Cheap, very interactive, and the players (especially in AAA ball) are giving their all. Good stuff. I saw the single best throw I have ever witnessed in Tacoma (Mariners AAA club) Right fielder threw a ball on a frozen rope to third for an out, Love it.
YOU CRYPTIDS ARE ALL ALIKE, DRWAING IN WITH YOU RUNNY STORIES, WE KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!!!!
Or a drunk fuck who can’t spell, drawing us in with your funny tales, we know what comes next…….
Federal Judge Rules Against DACA Program But Current Recipients Are Safe For Now
A federal district judge in Texas has ruled against the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program, striking a blow to the Obama-era policy that has protected more than 800,000 young undocumented immigrants from deportation since 2012.
The largely expected decision leaves the fate of thousands of the program’s beneficiaries, known as DREAMers, in the hands of Congress, the Biden administration and a Supreme Court where conservatives hold a 6-3 majority.
U.S. District Judge Andrew Hanen ruled in favor of nine conservative-led states, including Texas, blocking the Biden administration from accepting new DACA applicants – saying the program is not legal.
However, the ruling allows for immigrants currently protected by the program to keep their status and allow DACA renewals while the case goes through the appeals process.
Didn’t someone else try and get congress to address this, because the president doing it himself was illegal?
LOL as if that matters
That’s the funny part. The evil dictator was the only one who tried to respect the rules.
Laws? Where were going, we won’t have any laws
I wish.
Frau Merkel’s Farewell
Worth it for the video bit. ?
I checked on the Hinh clone’s car and it just sold. Lets see how long it takes him to piss that guy off and relist it.
You dodged a bullet by passing on that car.
FRIDAY. FUNBAGS.
https://archive.li/ST8Bf
Relevant.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20169468/
Finally some research my tax dollars should pay for.
Lauren Southern exists! Looks like she had a kid, curvier, SA stuuf,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fEVHx-m_YA
This is a pretty powereful interview,SA is collapsing, and it seems like a harbinger of doom, for us…
I’d say SA has/had a lot more problems and deeper divisions than we do.
I hope Zardoz isn’t one of those drivers hanging out in the hammer lane, passing another head at 1.5MPH more. Uphill.
#bringbackRoadsideFlaying
Did These Giant Sloths Poop Themselves to Death?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=au4klKI9rG4
It was in Ecuador, so maybe drugs fell out their asses.
Giant Sloth Poop is a good band name.
Either that or the title of the “contractual obligation album produced as the band is on the verge of breaking up.”
Man, I love me some Amorphis. Not sure their in the death metal genre (especially as time goes on: not death metal. But good to see em get a bit of love, even if from some ‘Squatch lover.
“they’re” not “their”. Damn auto-correct. There’s is an auto-correct right? Hmmm. Never mind.
Not bad.
I feel like it be better in their native tongue.
*would be
Turns out that Whacking Day is a real holiday
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zQPo31Ybzk
Kids making hand print art with rattlesnake blood is a bit much. Then there’s the questionable assertion that rattlesnakes have strong family bonds.
I thought every day is Whacking Day
Great comments like that make me miss MikeS.
Back to Friday night being date night for the wife and I. Mexican food tonight, she also had a Cuba Libre (!) and I had two Pacificos. And of course, food.
We went on date night last night. Tried a new burger at our local joint. 4/5 Stars. Then went to a place that was recommended as a good shake.
It was not good. 1/5 stars
Our date night was always Friday. We’d go to the local bar for drinks and dinner. When Mrs. Hobbit’s mother moved in with us it was, like, we can’t leave her alone. That lasted about two months until I decided that I was too old to be taking a chaperone on dates. The panicdemic killed them for a while and we are only beginning to resume.
That is where we are. Just starting to resume.
A new liquor store opened up with an attached bar. Wife and I are going to hit that place up tomorrow night if the weather isn’t hot and muggy. It is a good 15 minute walk.
Straff – Spud is waiting for you?
Bidens Paradise,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHAYFiwbGlY
‘Gonna give the country over to Xi Jinping’
Well, that’s the first honest statement he’s ever made.
Han Solo shot first, I don’t really care but I was bored, watch,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IK_iw5Yps2M
Do any y’all deplorables work? I just logged off for the day. 7:30am – 11:45pm, took a nap from 6-8:30pm.
So what about the fake president’s statement on Cuba? Communism is a failed system? Then why are you trying it here, dumbshit?
8 to 5, baby. OK… I have to do some work tomorrow.
Got some auto part quotes for the kid for the Explorer that has been sitting in the garage. Needed a new battery for starts. Shocks, A/C system needs to be checked, all fluids drained and refilled and apparetnly when I stopped driving it 8 months ago, I left it with a full tank of gas.
Too bad that has gone bad, I could have turned that around for $2.50/gallon profit.
I guess I’m selling my Pontiac to a kid in our community. But I don’t think he knows what it is or what it’s worth. It’s just been sitting there for a long time. It starts but the battery light comes on, so not sure if it’s the battery or the cable. He keeps asking me questions that makes me know he doesn’t know what he wants to buy. I keep telling the kid, here’s the keys, drive it and check it out. I just want rid of it, so I told him make me an offer. I like the car because of the V6 engine, but I just don’t need it.
The last time I let a GM car sit for an extended period of time, mice ate the alternator wires.
Good rant here by Mark Steyn.
https://imprimis.hillsdale.edu/increasingly-unrecognizable-civilization/
Hi, Double! Nice to “see” you.
I might be moving away from San Diego in the next several months, so if you get here, please reach out and let’s meet again.
I’m looking to stay in defense, but not where I am now. I’m at hayeksplosives at the protonmail thingy.
Yes. It is.
I’m not sure if it’s more important to me that Newsom get replaced (please let it be Larry elder) or if fucking NFL commissioner Roger Goodell get replaced.
Goodell has mishandled just about every sticky issue that has come before him, while viewership tanks. Why isn’t he held accountable or replaced? Is this a dictator for life gig??
Revenue keeps going up. It has nothing to do with Goodell, but that’s what the owners care about.
We have a far better chance of removing Newsom. Goodell signed a contract extension last year for over 40 million per year. He isn’t going anywhere, anytime soon.
It is going to take a while for the wokeness to make a serious dent in the NFL’s bottom line. Until it does we are probably stuck with millionaires whining about oppression. Until such time as they get it, I will continue to abstain from being lectured by hare-brained meatheads,
Forget about it, the NFL is on it’s deathbed and there’s no cure. Like everything else that the left gets involved in, it will be completely destroyed. Feature, not bug.
At one time..I believed this. Today? Glad I am not in the military is all.
And
Deck is starting to be restacked.
They’re killing people,” Biden responded. “I mean, they’ll, really, look. The only pandemic we have is among the unvaccinated. And they’re killing people.”
‘Pandemic of the Unvaccinated’: CDC Director Warns of Rising COVID-19 Cases
I’m sure this will persuade them to get vaccinated.
And until they do, it is Biden’s intention to make the entire country suffer in order to shame them into doing it.
Nice guy we have there.
His handlers have taken a quick turn from bumbling and befuddled to dangerously malevolent.
She seems nice.
https://dailycaller.com/2021/07/16/let-them-die-fairfax-county-virginia-naacp-official-attacks-anti-crt-parents/
They appear to want a race war.
RIP
https://youtu.be/9aofoBrFNdg
Bye bye Biz.
Oh no, rappers with a good sense of humor are few and far between plus his song was the keystone for my favorite Always Sunny episode.
RIP.
?
Hola, bitches.
https://www.etsy.com/market/hola_bitches
Drive through orphan pick up?
https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2021/07/man-attempts-kidnap-5-year-old-child-walking-street-queens-video/
My financial planner has advised to invest in guillotine companies. Any recommendations?
Looks like Google has banned “disinformation” from Google freaking Docs now (finding an article is impossible though):
https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=27858032#27859607
The melding of government and power and quasiprivate enterprise continues unchecked it seems.
We’re well past the point where there can be any doubt that these companies are colluding with government to stifle speech.
This has to end now.
Yes it does.
Or we’re fucked.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_8yTYlKPdS4
?
That a great sound. Plus she looks like Dee on it’s always sunny.
Previously posted: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mwzlySJJJQQ
They’ve got some really good songs.
Suh fam?
Yo what’s goody
Mornin
https://www.wfmz.com/news/cnn/latin-america/raw-mouse-floats-on-croc-shoe-escaping-floods/video_544fd0ff-4c4b-5536-932d-b97c7d7d1405.html
Anonymous sources indicate this undocumented rodent is on its way to UCS’s.
Raw mouse? Blecch.
Good morning, Glibbies! Tranquility Base is looking more like Tranquility Lake at the moment, but the puddle isn’t all the way to the back of the patio, so here I am.
Watch out for Crocs bearing meeses.
Will do. Good thing we have stray cats who come around to be fed!
Kinda flood-ish here too.
But Jugsy is home so the weather is a good reason to not go anywhere.