Parq de Shroom

by | Jul 26, 2021 | Outdoors, Pastimes, Travel | 293 comments

I noticed a lot of mushrooms growing on the course yesterday and today I decided to investigate whilst I played, the entire park is only 600’x600’, pretty small, let’s see what I found. I Admit to not knowing that much, but they are so primordial, fascinating really.

Please note the alt text, I have no idea where I’m going with this.

Cute

Yellow!

Tiny World

Not an acorn, but they do drop here, interesting…

Pretty

Pink , not so unusual

Primordial as Fuck!

Now in Red!

Baked red potato?

Unveiling

Mycopia!

Michigan is full of Easter eggs, and bugs, wear your repellent!

About The Author

Yusef drives a Kia

Yusef drives a Kia

Punctually illiterate But never late

293 Comments

  1. blackjack

    And your mind is feeling small…

    • Chafed

      Go ask Alice. I think she’ll know.

      • Tres Cool

        Grace Slick’s voice is….incomparable. Shame the band went down the shitter with that “We Built This Shitty” garbage.

      • Gender Traitor

        You don’t like that homage to Tipp City? ?

      • Hyperion

        It’s what happens when you go pop, you start to suck on purpose, because that’s what most people like. Most people have absolute horrid taste in music. Just keep it simple so they can hum along. Anything more complex scares them.

  2. robc

    Started new job today.

    Less than 3 weeks to Colorado move!

    • blackjack

      Everyone’s moving to Colorado. Is this the shrugging thing?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I left CO in 98′ too Cali for me….

      • westernsloper

        I left CO in 83 moved back in 84. ( I moved to Cali) left again in 86 and moved back in 2006. I am not sure when I will leave again but I probably will. Even the redneck hillbilly areas are being overran.

      • westernsloper

        Also moved back to CO 90-91 and then 94-95. Forgot about those. I have moved back here a lot but didn’t stay long until the last move.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        If you can make 20$ an hour here, you are a God, and a nice life, close enough, yet far away,
        /Yes I make at least that

    • westernsloper

      Where abouts?

      • robc

        Opposite slope from you. Fort Collins area.

      • westernsloper

        Aaaah, not a bad place. At least it is not the Metro area. Sort of. Welcome!

      • robc

        Denver was a non starter.

      • westernsloper

        CSU?

      • robc

        A college town was what we were going for. It is like a bigger Bowling Green.

        Charleston was too large for my wife. She feels comfortable everywhere in FoCo.

        Aside to my new peeps: FoCo is stupid, FTC is clearly better. Please fix before I get there.

      • westernsloper

        Did you look at Grand Junction? CMU is there and is on the right side of the mountains. Small college surrounded by a town/city and is damn near Utah but it aint nothing like Kentucky. High desert with some cool stuff.

      • Mojeaux

        I haven’t beento Grand Junction in 25 years, but I remembered liking it quite a bit.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Nice! I like Ft Collins. Almost ended up there instead of back here in TX.

    • Count Potato

      Congrats!

  3. Shpip

    Glad to see a post on native ‘shrooms.

    Hope Yuf didn’t go to too much truffle to entertain us.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      har har!

    • blackjack

      Well, he is a fungi.

      • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

        That’s what she said!  ?

        On a more serious note, my Normandy rellies go ‘shroom hunting all the time in the wooded areas near where they live, but even my eldest surviving cousin (an honest-to-God-no-shit French chef!) won’t take ’em home to cook until he’s gone to the local pharmacy and had ’em all confirmed as being safe (yes, pharmacies there have people who are trained in mycology . . . ).

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        and this is a good thing, we get Morewls in Season, but they are obvious, the others less so, Caveat all day long,

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Morels

      • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

        Fresh morels sell for around $100CDN/kg here in Alberta.

        And they’re worth every. freakin’. penny!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        2$ an ounce, all day long, people are nuts

      • Not Adahn

        When I lived in Austin, HEB Central market would have whole black truffles prices at $400/lb. That was more than a decade ago. They were packed in plastic containers partially filled with rice.

  4. Scruffy Nerfherder

    That’s a lot of different shrooms.

    I suspect fairies are present.

    • blackjack

      I gotta believe they’re wearing boots.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I tell ya no lies!

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I should have waited a few days, there are many mor varieties now, and maybe some Amanita Muscara, “those” Mushrooms,

      • Count Potato

        The red looks like maybe Amanita jacksonii?

  5. pistoffnick

    My step dad’s farm grew lots of morel mushrooms.

    Fresh morels fried in butter. Mmmm.

    • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

      I anxiously await the day when someone finally figures out how to domesticate those babies.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Done and done, they just don’t speak of it yet,

      • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

        WHAT?!?

        Good God.

      • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

        Next thing you’ll be telling me they’ve figured out how to domesticate the black truffle. If so, surely the Kingdom of God is upon us.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Cultivated Morels are happening, scaling up it the issue,

      • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

        I await the day when I can go to one of the mushroom farms in central Alberta, walk inside and see nothing but morels as far as human vision allows.

        Oh, baby . . .

    • westernsloper

      Oh ya, those are tasty.

  6. rhywun

    OT: I don’t know anything about “Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?” but the BBC just helpfully informed me that it does not conform to modern standards of tolerance and inclusion. Whew! Dodged that bullet.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      OFFS

      Pansies, overly sensitive pansies that desperately want Big Brother.

    • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

      All the more reason to watch it, ‘cuz it’s hilarious.

      “We’re in a tight spot!” became a catchphrase of me and my buddies for a few years.

      Plus the soundtrack’s awesome.

      • Shpip

        “I’m the goddamn paterfamilias!” was always a good substitute for “Because I said so.”

        Doesn’t work on the wife, though.

    • Mojeaux

      It’s been a long time since I’ve seen it, but I can’t remember what would have been verboten amongst the wokesters.

      I also have the soundtrack, which is wonderful.

      • westernsloper

        There was a black kid and a guitar wasn’t there? Has been a long time for me too. There was KKK and what not also.

      • Gadfly

        Well, it does have a negative depiction of cancel culture.

        In all seriousness, though, I’m with you, I can’t imagine what the problem is. The villains were racist and IIRC the love story had the women pursuing the men, it was not at all a regressive film, besides being set in the Old South.

    • limey

      I swore off PBS after they were heavily plugging some Charlottesville dramatized “documentary”. It never dies. The propaganda is just so useful.

      I sometimes accidentally am exposed to the BBC, but it’s nothing compared to how malevolently horrible Channel 4 is.

      • rhywun

        That’s where all the “edgy” stuff goes, right?

        *shudder*

      • limey

        Many years ago they had good comedy; Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace, The Adam & Joe Show, Banzai!, Peep Show, Father Ted

        Man, they had a lot of funny tee vee over the years.

      • Zwak, jack off, all trades

        Dark Place is awesome.

        The scenes of Richard Ayoate firing a shotgun in random directions is hilarious.

    • Drake

      Because it’s actually funny at times?

  7. Yusef drives a Kia

    I find the entire experience very chill and relaxing, shaping shots, listening to Jazz, tripping on mushrooms, what a life.

  8. limey

    I can’t see alt text on my phone, but since you are still with us, I’m guessing you didn’t eat any of them ??

    • blackjack

      +1 “hope you’re not busy for the next 12 hours!”

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Hell no! A slight mistake can cost you your life, pictures only Boss,

      • limey

        I know it too well. I heard a story of a well-respected mycology professor at a particular institution here in the UK who would often eat his specimens. One day he fell immediately very ill after eating one in particular. Scrawled on a napkin beside him was the name of the poisonous species he had eaten, so the correct treatment could be administered. It turns out he knew he either had that one, or one that was totally safe to eat, but is very difficult to tell apart. Sometimes you just gotta roll the dice.

      • rhywun

        Yeah… I don’t like mushrooms that much. I *hated* them as a kid, now I like adding them to stews and such but store-bought only thank you very much.

      • Zwak, jack off, all trades

        My wife will do some amateur mycology here in Oregon, but though she loves mushrooms she will not eat them, just take pictures.

  9. Yusef drives a Kia

    Since I resigned GMI, I moved on, Publishing music, promoting my photography, and maybe get back into Dioramas, and a normal job to pay the Bills…

    • limey

      Normal jobs are for normies, dude.

      #KEEPYUSEFWEIRD

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        RE, Spect! Walk! Whadda you say?

      • limey

        It is said that approximately 42% of people over 40 years old in the DFW area apparently have a Pantera-related story. I assume anyone younger than that knows about them primarily through Dimebag getting shot, and/or the “white power” incident where Phil played up to whatever some hecklers were goading him into ?

        ARE YOU TALKING TO MEEEE??!

      • blackjack

        All’s I know is they literally broke my ears when they opened for Sabbath at the forum. We were seated directly in front of the speaker stacks. I got vertigo from them. Sabbath was tame in comparison. Fucking brutal.

      • limey

        I really overdid it with the metal when I was a kid.

      • Mojeaux

        #metoo

        I said something about my kid’s volume in his earbuds and he said, “You do the same thing.” “Well, yeah, that’s how I know.”

  10. Yusef drives a Kia

    I need some help finalizing my Business plan, i have a good idea of where to head and made some moves already, but I could use an advisor, big time.

  11. hayeksplosives

    The captioned “Now in red!” Looks like a slice of tomato!

    My favorite is the unveiling one.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I Love the Unveiling, it’s very pretty, thanks!

  12. mikey

    Years ago when we lived in Tacoma a family was found in the woods, apparently they’d been having a picnic that included mushrooms they’d picked. They were all dead. Except an infant.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Look, don’t touch, or eat, without a Mycopiast at hand, Deadly shit!

    • hayeksplosives

      I read in Reader’s digest a hundred years ago (well, seems like it…) about an American man, his Japanese wife, and her parents who’d come to the Pacific NW to visit.

      They went for a walk and picked mushrooms that looked like the ones they knew from Japan.

      The husband survived but had to get a liver transplant, and the other three all died, presumably because they were physically smaller than he was.

      No thanks.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Pictures, I won’t even touch them, if you do, they will spore in your face. I had a fungal lung infection, it looked like Cancer, turns out it was Legionarres Disease, I got over it obviously, but never again!

      • Shpip

        they will spore in your face

        You can get paid extra if you let ’em do that.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      HAHAHAHA! Fuck off! watch me!!

      • hayeksplosives

        I do agree that the government assistance programs have failed. No doubt.

        I’m so sick of “lack of access” as a phrase. Unless you’re literally in chains, you don’t have lack of access as an excuse.

      • blackjack

        Tell me. I started out on the run, wanted and sleeping in an abandoned bar at 16. That’s what you call, ‘privilege” right there.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Too White, try again Shitlord!
        /Been right there Bro….

      • Penguin

        I played in a meta; band in college. this song was on our set list. We once played a biker bar/tat studio.

        It got a very good reception.

      • Brochettaward

        People who don’t speak English and who have dubious citizenship status manage to get on the dole. Welfare and drugs basically keep the inner city afloat.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        And the Democratic Party, yes?

      • rhywun

        And there is an army of bureaucrats to make that happen.

        /my tax dollars at work

    • limey

      By “pilot program” I assume they mean they are all being given jobs as commercial airline pilots. Kudos, kids. Reach for the skies!

    • rhywun

      provide $1,204 per month to 150 county residents aged 18-24

      LOL ?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        That’s about my Budget for the month, the rest is food, beer and gas, nice gig, I suppose,

      • blackjack

        Los Angeles residents aged 18-24 will spend all of that on food and beer, oh, and rave tickets. Maybe clothes. They can always couch hop, right?

  13. Brochettaward

    This conversation is boring. You’re all boring. The only way for me to save the night is to go back in time and First.

    • limey

      Ah, go first your hat, buddy.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Limey said it fine, but you are on the wrong thread, now go Fuck Off, like a good Tulpa, kthnxbye!

  14. Yusef drives a Kia

    Indeed is clobbering me with Job opportunities, some upwards of 30$ an hour, up here? Hell yes!

    • rhywun

      The job hunt program I went through after I was canned a couple years ago said that something like 75% of people find their next job by word-of-mouth, and I thought to myself, Oh, come on. I joined Indeed and got hundreds of leads and stuff but nothing panned out.

      Got my current job by word-of-mouth.

      A good lesson to me in not burning bridges, I guess.

      • limey

        GL with an absolutely clutch drive-by TedSing.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        I think about it this way.

        Boards are fine if your abilities can be described in 20 words and you want a job that can be described in 20 words . . . and those are the same 20 words.

        A standard job to take a step forward is the sort of thing for which 100k other dudes also qualify. Find a special job that fits you the special guy, and plan on a month of searching for every $10k in income.

        I start my ninth professional job next month; I made it eight years with the Germans before they closed the plant but never got close to that sort of tenure ever again. I’ve worked in at least three industries and backed into several job titles I definitely never wanted.

        I get these calls from head hunters every week: how the hell do you have that resume? Going sideways since 2008, the titles and industries and experience pile up on the way to nowhere. This time I’m taking about a 50% step forward in base and have some chance for to make the most that I ever have. . . . we’ll see. But it’s fair to say that the base adjusted for inflation has me somewhere back in the Clinton administration, not that those were bad years for me at all.

        Few things surprise me, but this snuck up on me: I’m almost out of references. They’ve died or disappeared if alive: I’ve got to find three guys who I had a great experience with who are around and in a good mood and who want to answer an annoying email as a favor. If you run out of bosses and aren’t really the boss, you get into a weird corner.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Good luck Don! I’ve realized I’ve become the graybeard I used to think had been around forever when I was a FNG. Still feel like an imposter compared to those guys. They really knew their shit. I know some parlor tricks.

    • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

      Do.
      It.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I’m going to grind it, jobwise, but I need to develop my business, and I need a hand, Hint hint, help!

    • Brochettaward

      I wouldn’t even pay you a dollar for a handjob. I wouldn’t even take a free handjob from you.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Dude, you need to back the Fuck up, that’s way out of line,

      • hayeksplosives

        Brochettaward, why are you the way you are?

      • blackjack

        I suspect he’s mostly just being glib. It’s somewhat entertaining sometimes. I just roll with it. My online house is made of lots of glass.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I’m OK with most of his bluster, but that is disgusting,

      • Brochettaward

        Because I’m a nice guy, I’ll go ahead and let you give me the free handjob if it makes you feel any better.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Ignore,

      • Brochettaward

        I could have asked you to pay me for it.

      • blackjack

        I missed all of the HJ stuff. I thought I was replying to his earlier post. Fucking monocle has been acting up for the last few days. Totally unreliable. This Hj stuff is all a bit much.

      • Brochettaward

        I feel attacked. Like I’m surrounded by bullies.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Or you are just a Dick,

      • Shpip

        Ain’t no way someone’s baitin’ Yus into degeneracy on his own mushroom post.

        He’s immune to charges of morel turpitude.

      • blackjack

        Might have to cap a dude to stem the flow of negativity.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        Yusef: “Yay!”

        Hobbit: “Did you wake up this morning and say, ‘I think I’ll be an asshole today’ or are you always an asshole?”

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Always? Howdy!

  15. Yusef drives a Kia

    On Topic, it was a lot of fun taking a shot, then seeing what shrooms were in my path, every shot showed me new shrooms, it was a fun trip. Right now there as many ne varieties as before, I shouls have waited maybe, but How cool!

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      poor spelling, oops,

  16. Yusef drives a Kia

    YAY! another interview Tomorrow, I’m not waiting around kids, Yusef is Rolling!

  17. Yusef drives a Kia

    I will shill a bit, at least look at my /music accounts, Spotify, iTunes, etc,
    Search for Tepme3 and CB Soundcraft, you may find something you like, and i have a lot more to upload,

  18. Yusef drives a Kia

    I’m eating potted meat with a knife, good stuff if you mhave no teeth,

  19. pistoffnick

    pistoffnick’s ranking of mushrooms:

    1. Morel
    2. Chanterelle
    3. Oyster
    4, Shitake

    I have never tried magic mushrooms but a co-worker had, and could never listen to Barry Manilow again. We taunted him by singing Barry Manilow lyrics.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Maitake yes, Shiitake no, otherwise we grow em,

  20. Mojeaux

    Well, Warpaint the horse who is ridden out onto the field at Arrowhead before Chiefs games is gone.

    Name and logo are next.

    • kinnath

      Stadium name too I suppose.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Arrowhead bad!

      • Mojeaux

        Likely so. GEHA bought naming rights for the field, which no one thought could ever happen, so now it’s “GEHA Field at Arrowhead”, which is stupid and nobody likes.

        The tomahawk chop will never go away. The fans will do it regardless.

      • Chafed

        Not for profit but able to buy stadium naming rights. Enjoy the absurdity folks.

      • Gustave Lytton

        And it appears to be essentially a broker or administrator that contracts with fed gov and subs to actual insurance plans. I’m having a Bobs moment and asking why fed gov can’t directly contract with the plans like every other business does.

      • Chafed

        In fairness to the federal government, it’s completely incompetent.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      My Dad’s team, they will be missed,

    • Zwak, jack off, all trades

      Stanford University was the Indians in sports from 1930 to 1972 when it was dropped by native students protesting. A native man did a wardance before every game, but then he was laid off due to the name change to Cardinals.

    • Plinker762

      One more for the glue factory.

      • Mojeaux

        I wish my aunt would send her stupid beasts to the glue factory.

    • Chafed

      What am I missing? I get that warpaint is associated with Indians. How is naming a horse warpaint offensive?

      • Mojeaux

        Don’t know but that squeaky wheel is squawking that it’s not enough.

      • Chafed

        Ridiculous. There is nothing offensive about the horse or what it’s wearing.

        How long until the Chiefs name is retired?

      • Mojeaux

        That’s the $64M question. Within the next two years, is my guess. One day it was, “We’ll never sell naming rights” and then the next, they were sold, albeit in a not-very-clever workaround.

        Fans wearing warpaint and warbonnets/headdresses were banned. Nobody’s going to give up the tomahawk chop especially if that’s the only thing the fans have left.

      • Chipwooder

        The silly thing about that is that there is nothing inherently specific to Indians about the word “chief”.

      • Not Adahn

        Switch the logo to a bearded, braided Scotsman.

      • Chafed

        Jeebus. Being within 2 degrees of relation gets you canceled. Nice work wokesters.

  21. The Bearded Hobbit

    My aunt died on Flag Day and we inherited her dog. Cute little thing, cross between a Chihuahua and a Dachshund. Her ears looked like radar antennae so she was named “Minne” (after the mouse.) I called her, “Micro”.

    Minnie died on the way to the vet tonight. I swear that she died of a broken heart.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      AWWWW damn, that just really sucks, I’m sorry for the little guy,

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Gal

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      BTW: I thank Les Nesman, veteran newsman, for teaching me how to spell, “Chi-Hua-Hua”

    • blackjack

      Poor puppy. Sorry about the aunt too.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        Thanks

    • Chafed

      Sorry about both of them.

  22. Yusef drives a Kia

    Women can be such a pain, but God I love them!

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      And they always want money! what can a sucker like me do!
      /thank God for Cash

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        Just leave the cash on the nightstand?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I have a twenty from a Girl who said, “Cab Fare” it was so funny, and Damn what a night,

  23. Yusef drives a Kia

    And they are all so pretty, dammit!

  24. blackjack

    Kinda bummed out. Somehow, I lost my new comments counter. The new one’s still are highlighted blue, but I have to scroll the whole thing to find them. The counter has been glitchy for a few days. I used it constantly. I tried reinstalling tampermonkey and monocle both. Rebooted, logged out, logged back in, closed all the glibs tabs and then reopened just the latest. Nothing is working.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      1st World problems?

      • blackjack

        Aren’t they all anymore?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        only for us, see below,

      • blackjack

        Anyway, I might have figured it out. There’s a bottom task bar now, and it has a comment counter. Seems to be working. Yay!

      • blackjack

        Spoke too soon. It’s not counting new comments. Dammit.

  25. Yusef drives a Kia

    I could use some financial advice. I have access to jobs that will pay the bills, but I want to reach out with my Art and music, and make some money. I paid a Publisher to promote my music on all the Major sites, Spotify, ITunes, etc. I want to maybe sell my photos, framed, on Etsy, or maybe EBay.I would gladly pay a percentage to some one who would help me in this endevour, or I’ll do it alone.

    • blackjack

      The only advice I have for a music career is to get a stripper girlfriend.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        The Music is actually easy, the Art and Women, well, I’m working it…..

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Being married was pretty easy compared to this, yikes!

      • Chafed

        Finally, some useful advice.

  26. Gustave Lytton

    They remade Turner and Hooch?? Christ on crutch, Hollywood is dead. I want off.

    • Chafed

      The first one wasn’t bad enough?

      • Gustave Lytton

        I’m sure some bright boy is looking at Hanks IMDb page now and calculating which one could be used. History is repeating itself, now as tragedy.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I guess the copyright I bought in 1999 is still valid,

    • Mojeaux

      My husband declined for me to narrate that. I narrated it anyway.

    • hayeksplosives

      My memory is too near photographic. I learned long ago to steer well clear of certain things.

      I won’t even watch horror movies.

      Except The Voices. I rather enjoyed that, even though I can’t unsee the Tupperware…

    • Tres Cool

      Pfft….if you want to impress me break out a plasma cutter.

      • Chafed

        Look who is finally out of bed.

      • Tres Cool

        Look, fat- I work nights.
        In my head its 10 am.

      • Chafed

        Things are starting to make sense.

  27. Yusef drives a Kia

    Jeez, I’m having awake dreams, and some of th worst ones, nothing but Death, evrywhere, I hate My dreams…
    Peace out, may be…

    • hayeksplosives

      Diphenhydramine for the win!

      And don’t worry about your dreams; they are just a reflection of the fact that you are facing uncertainty about the future.

      Remember “Who by worrying has extended his life by even one hour?”

      Sufficient unto today are its own troubles.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Well said, Home Boy ain’t done GF!

      • Tres Cool

        Melatonin and a 6-pack puts me under like Michael Jackson on Propofol.

      • Chafed

        I can’t tell if that’s a recommendation or a threat.

  28. Yusef drives a Kia

    I wish I could write out these dreams, they would scare the shit out of you. At the same time, I wish I could forget them,
    /Haunted

  29. Yusef drives a Kia

    /Mary Shelley

  30. Tres Cool

    To address the initial comment about shrooms, Alice, and Grace Slick (totally wood)- another song showcasing her vocal talents.
    Shame its a folksy, commie anthem.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      How the Hell are you Tres?
      Cans, tall

    • Chafed

      I just saw your comment above. She has a wonderful voice. She has terrible politics but that’s to be expected from a San Francisco hippie.

      Jefferson Airplane was great Jefferson Starship was an embarrassment.

      • Tres Cool

        Halfway decent t0ts, too.

        Course that was 50 years ago.

        *NSFW

    • Gustave Lytton

      I’m gonna go with the Fulbright scholar with the ChemE masters, and go Grace Jones over Slick.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Yep that’s the one. Ivan Drago’s ex-GF. What can I say?

      • Chafed

        That she’s not a scholar.

      • Gustave Lytton

        No, but he is. Although if it wasn’t for her, it would probably be Dr. Lundgren these days.

      • Chafed

        Now I get it. I didn’t realize you were referring to him, above.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Sometimes (most of the time), my inner monologue needs a copy editor.

      • Tres Cool

        Sarcasm, right?

        “Jones continued her schooling and after she graduated, enrolled at Onondaga Community College majoring in Spanish. Jones began to rebel against her parents and their religion; she began wearing makeup, drinking alcohol, and visiting gay clubs with her brother. At college, she also took a theatre class, with her drama teacher convincing her to join him on a summer stock tour in Philadelphia. Arriving in the city, she decided to stay there, immersing herself in the Counterculture of the 1960s by living in hippie communes, earning money as a go-go dancer, and using LSD and other drugs. She later praised the use of LSD as “a very important part of my emotional growth… The mental exercise was good for me”

  31. Yusef drives a Kia

    I really should try to write my nightmares out, what an excorsise it would be!

    • Tres Cool

      EXORcise….what you did there. It was noted in an ocular capacity.

      Since this is my d̶a̶y̶ night off, Im having Tall Cans™, and banging around in this house like a pea in a boxcar, looking for something to do.

      • Tres Cool

        HEY YUFUS!

    • Tres Cool

      Nice. However this is the Official TresCool Theme Song®.

      • Chafed

        Tell me Steel Panther didn’t make you laugh out loud.

      • Tres Cool

        /sensible chuckle

      • Chafed

        If you actually listened to it then I’m greatly disappointed.

      • Tres Cool

        For some reason, Jugsy gets upset when I sing My Fat Baby.

      • Tres Cool

        Kate Miccuci has nice t0ts, too

  32. Chipwooder

    It had been too long since my last move. I forgot what a miserable experience it is.

    New house is great though, We’s country folk now. I will say I didn’t expect my kids to have such mixed emotions, mainly because I’ve hated our old house for years while, for them, it’s the only home they can remember.

    • Chafed

      Sorry Chip. I hope things even out.

      • Chipwooder

        They’ll be fine. Most of the time, they’re excited about the new place, but there’s some sadness for them too.

        Not for me – this place is awesome! Went from 1300 to 2200 sq ft, went to a full acre from a fifth, a huge three car detached garage, and I’ve wanted to move out to the country for a while.

      • Tres Cool

        You know who else went to the country?

        Hippies.

    • Chafed

      I don’t know how we are going to beat the hell out of that emoji but I know we will.

    • Tres Cool

      The last time I looked like that, Id was plugged-up from an oxycodone binge and hadn’t p00ped in a week. However, when the time came (certain I was dilated 10 cm) I birthed the most impressive “grocery snake” ever. Easily 25 Courics.

    • rhywun

      In a fan-voted poll for the most anticipated of the draft emoji, the winner was Melting Face, which shows a yellow smiley face pooling in mid-melt. Melting Face was at No. 1 with 13.7 percent of the vote, and Pregnant Man came in sixth with 5.3 percent of the vote.

      *snort*

      Do better, fans.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      The best way to get hacked by the Chinese and the Russians and any other nation with a halfway capable intelligence agency? Doing shit like this.

      • UnCivilServant

        They were more concerned about Americans seeing their communication than foreign powers. After all, they’d already sold themselves to the foreign powers.

      • rhywun

        Yeah, the Chinese and Russians probably don’t need to “hack” anything.

    • Gender Traitor

      Yikes! I wonder how far that smoke is going to drift.

      Good morning, Sean….I think! ?

      • Sean

        🙂

    • rhywun

      “Here is a clickable map of downtown Berlin for no particular reason.”

      ?

    • Ghostpatzer

      “A Bucks County police corporal is facing charges after authorities say he was among a number of suspects arrested for allegedly attempting to lure minors online.”

      Enough already. Clearly, we need to bring back – dare I say it – corporal punishment.

      • UnCivilServant

        Of course a ghost would be all for corporeal punishment. Enjoy your incorporeal privilege much?

      • Ghostpatzer

        It is, like most privileges, ephemeral. I’ll enjoy it while it lasts.

    • Tres Cool

      Thats more funny to me as “….attempting to lure MINERS online.” and they have a mugshot of Yukon Cornelius.

      Clearly, I need to sober up.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Yeah, I was outraged, miners have a hard enough life what with the cave ins and all that they shouldn’t have to worry about being fucked with by the cops.

  33. Sean

    Liz Cheney is a cunte. No link.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      The fucking worst of the fucking worst…a warmongering, national intelligence and security state apologizing, turncoat piece of human garbage.

      • Festus

        Politics are over for her now. Think tanks, NGO’s and punditry are her future. Pays well enough.

    • l0b0t

      Was Boxer the one who employed a Chinee spy as her driver for decades? This was probably a ChiCom operation to cover their tracks.

      • Gender Traitor

        Yeah – how many muggers have waiting getaway cars? And don’t go after purses?

        Good morning, l0!

      • UnCivilServant

        I can see two people cruising, spot a dottering old fool and decide to snatch her phone.

        I can also see the targetted intel sanitation op.

        What I can’t see is why she was walking in Oakland.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Who the hell knows but she presented an easy mark to some opportunists as you say.

      • Festus

        Nope. That was the other geriatric from California that is still somehow in the House.

      • Festus

        Dianne Feinstein.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, U! Just replied to your latest e.

      Are you already at your office?

      • UnCivilServant

        We’re on a rotating remote/office schedule, and today’s a remote day for me.

        I got your response and answered already.

      • Gender Traitor

        ?

    • Festus

      Mornin’!

      • UnCivilServant

        How are things up your way?

      • Festus

        We got a bunch of rain storms over the last week so feeling safe for now. South of us is still in the burning times. Getting some walks in?

      • UnCivilServant

        Not as many as I’d like.

        My sleep schedule got trashed and I’m just today feeling normal enough to try it.

      • Festus

        Don’t push too hard. Gall bladder, pancreas and stomach are like the Three Amigos.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Interesting, who’s the El Guapo of internal organs?

      • Ghostpatzer

        John Wanamaker?

      • Festus

        Appendix?

      • UnCivilServant

        The gall bladder is (or in my case, was) attached to the liver and small intestine. It’s on the opposite side of the body from the stomach and pancreas.

      • Festus

        Yeah but they all have to work together in order to properly digest anything.

  34. Festus

    Ran into the “Prog in the Mist” last night because we’ve been on different shifts. She was mask-less for the first time and exceedingly derpy and pretty. What a relief it has been to see people’s faces again. Quite refreshing! Good luck on yet another new adventure, Bob! We’re all pulling for you.

  35. UnCivilServant

    *headdesk*
    *headdesk*
    *headdesk*

    An operator trying to ‘fix’ a problem while I was out ended up creating a cascade of new problems I’m still cleaning up.

    “You want me to kill and restart some jobs, ok. Oh, I’m getting an error trying to kill this one job, I’ll leave it and create a duplicate job that will end up getting into deadlocks with the first when it’s not writing duplicate entries to the database, and I’ll go and add it to all future schedules so it will keep running side by side forever!”

    • Ghostpatzer

      Sounds familiar. A little knowledge can be dangerous. /former DBA

    • Festus

      Heh! My “supervisors” are so afraid of confronting me that they always resort to the Friday dump. I am somewhat cantankerous, especially while using the written word. I try not to give them an inch.

      • Ghostpatzer

        STEVE SMITH NOT GIVE INCH. HIM GIVE FEET!

      • Festus

        Hence the cantankerousness. Festus will cut the dick off.

  36. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Man, YouTube thinks I really really must want to watch a two hour long nine year old interview of Clarence Thomas. Every other video I watch it throws it up for the follow up autoplay even though I’ve thumbed it down. It’s like they’re trying to drive me away which, you know, they are.

    • Festus

      That’s on you for using that emoji.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Don’t judge me bigot…

    • Ghostpatzer

      That is quite the precocious nine year old. Link?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Actually 12 years old, watch at your own risk because once the algorithm grabs ahold of this one forgetaboutit.
        https://youtu.be/gfAZUYCZSLQ

      • Festus

        “Budding breasts?”

      • Ghostpatzer

        OMWC agrees.

      • Festus

        “To the Rapemobile!”

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      That morbidly obese toady sack of physically repulsive shit? Please, Romney holds that dubious honor.

    • Festus

      Well he’s pretty fat but he’s no Taft.

    • rhywun

      Trump’s unconstitutional effort to overturn his election loss

      Yeah OK ?

      • Festus

        We’re in a very dangerous place right now.

    • Festus

      He’s like Tony Soprano without the animal cunning and murderous instinct.

    • wdalasio

      I don’t get it. What possible reason is there for a Republican to say, “I don’t like Trump, but I like the cut of that Chris Christie’s jib!” What exactly is this guy’s constituency, beyond a few guys over at the National Review and the retreads from the Weakly Standard?

    • Hyperion

      Did Joisey Fats ever get his money back for that failed fat surgery?

  37. Hyperion

    Just eat all of those and post the results here, especially the bright red ones. Don’t worry, it’s perfectly safe.

  38. Hyperion

    I was just in the local unwashed masses grocery store. About half the people were masked today. First time I’ve been in a store in the city that some people were not masked. It’s been that way in the county for about a month or so, except that there, not much of anyone is wearing them now.

    I have to tell you, I really enjoy that, I hate masks.

    They’re going to start it all up again, aren’t they? All this freedom stuff has to be keeping them up at night.

    And now you have the typical dickweeds like Gates and Buffet predicting a much worse pandemic is coming. Sure it is, you evil fuckweeds, you got your Chingyling gain of function working better now?

    Lampposts and mulching devices.