Saturday Morning the Old Man is up to something links

by | Jul 31, 2021 | Daily Links | 228 comments

OMWC is unable to complete his Saturday morning links, so I am filling in.

 

Okay how does he normally do this?

Infamous birthdays include a guy that screwed ships both ways. A guy eventually responsible for Martha Stewart.  Another that enjoyed cat and mouse games.  A guy with a famously gay brother.  Smart guy, but trusted the government just a little too much.  A guy that made Navy SEAL cosplay a career.  The poster child for the meaninglessness of the Heisman, and somebody who’s books were so inane we literally forgot all other books existed before it.

 

I guess he had to tell her a third time?

I can’t wait for the “billionaires with nukes” debate.

Its not really martial law.

So…like regular Millennials?

Bees!


They’re normally better looking.

Here’s some old guy music.  I’m going to go clean my pool.

About The Author

mexican sharpshooter

mexican sharpshooter

WARNING: Glibertarians.com contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm. https://youtu.be/qiAyX9q4GIQ?t=2m22s

228 Comments

  1. The Late P Brooks

    Eek. That boy will be scarred for life.

  2. Tres Cool

    Its 0800 TST already ?

    I have more beer to drink.

    • Gender Traitor

      TST? Not TCT – Tall Can Time?

      Also, you asked late last thread what’s goody. Don’t know, but this is what WAS Goody Goody. #TooLocal

  3. Sean

    Pretty ghoulish to record the murder and not intervene.

    • hayeksplosives

      I do wonder about that sort of thing.

      I can’t blame people for avoiding physically engaging a homicidal lunatic, but calling 911 seems more rational than recording the incident.

      • Sean

        I carry a gun to protect myself. I’d allow an exception for this scenario.

      • Rat on a train

        Calling 911 doesn’t get social media points.

  4. The Late P Brooks

    Pay no attention to the wholesale economic destruction directly caused by government action

    Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell’s belief that the U.S. economy has “learned to handle” the coronavirus and won’t be swamped in a fresh wave of infections or by rising inflation may get tested in coming weeks as schools reopen, supply chains remain clogged, and federal unemployment benefits wane.

    ——-

    Powell issued his blunt assessment of COVID-19’s threat to the economy during a news conference on Wednesday to discuss the Fed’s latest policy meeting. In their statement, policymakers said the economic recovery appeared on track, that the impact of the virus on the economy continued to wane, and that the economy was making progress toward the day when the Fed could reduce some of the emergency steps taken in 2020 to nurse the economy through the pandemic.

    And when the so-called public health experts demand the economy be shut down again are you going to be there to stop it, Jerome?

  5. Sean

    “Stephanie Matias”

    Nope. Nope. Nope.

    • Trigger Hippie

      ‘After the discovery, police decided to search Matias’ iCloud account, where they found a child porn video, investigators said. After being taken into custody, she admitted to seeing the video on Snapchat and downloading it, court paperwork said.’

      Download kiddie porn from Snapchat and back it up on ICloud, eh? Not the sharpest peanut in the turd either.

      …say…what IS OMWC up to this morning anyway?

      • Sean

        Stupid people make poor decisions. News at 11.

  6. The Late P Brooks

    Pretty ghoulish to record the murder and not intervene.

    It’s a race to upload the video. There’s no time to help.

    As others have pointed out, there is a very creepy (and depressing) aspect to the photos we see of people all standing around recording some atrocity on their phones, even as there is a complete absence of active assistance.

    • juris imprudent

      I think if Lasch was still around he might update his Culture of Narcissism to include a subculture of voyeurism.

  7. Trigger Hippie

    ‘The poster child for the meaninglessness of the Heisman’

    That’s not Gino Torretta.

    • juris imprudent

      Ummm, Manziel? Bradford? Jason White [who]?

  8. hayeksplosives

    https://babylonbee.com/news/pelosi-orders-arrest-of-anyone-not-wearing-floaties-in-case-of-flash-flood

    WASHINGTON, D.C.—Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi announced Friday that anyone visiting or working at the Capitol will be arrested on sight if they do not wear pool floaties in case a flash flood hits the building.

    “Good morning, Friday morning,” Pelosi said to reporters gathered in their swim floaties, pool rings, snorkels, and life jackets. “We will continue to abide by health experts’ guidelines at the Capitol. If you care about your fellow humans, you will wear the swim floaties. If you don’t, you want your grandmother to die. And that’s not very Christian. I would know. I’m a great Catholic.”

    • rhywun

      I would know. I’m a great Catholic.

      lolsnort

  9. Sean

    6 story 10k sf house?
    WTF?

    • rhywun

      Typical 0.00001%er millennial.

      • Sean

        “I ran out of furniture and just use the 5th floor as a rollerskating rink.”

    • hayeksplosives

      I read 10k square feet and think “That’s a lot of mopping / vacuuming.”

      • DrOtto

        And someone has got to pay to heat/cool the place.

  10. The Late P Brooks

    Bring out your dead!

    Emergency medical responders in New Orleans have been hit so hard by the resurgence in Covid-19 cases that the city doesn’t have the capacity to handle 911 calls, the mayor said Friday as she announced a new mask mandate and a contract to increase EMS resources.

    “Thanks to the Delta variant, the Covid pandemic is once again raging out of control,” New Orleans Mayor LaToya Cantrell said at a news conference.
    “We have been here before; we’ve seen the movie. … What was once unpreventable, today is preventable. And it’s through our people getting vaccinated.”
    Over the past week, the city saw more than 1,000 new Covid-19 cases, Cantrell said. And the daily case average also spiked to 272, up from 104 last week, she said.

    Baton Rouge children’s hospital nears capacity, braces for surge in Covid cases ahead of the school year
    “This is a very dangerous number,” she said. “Our children are dying. From two weeks old to two years old to four years old. You cannot make it up. Our children are dying.”

    Bodies stacked at the curb, awaiting disposal. What a Hellscape.

    • hayeksplosives

      If we do full lockdown theater again, it might make the difference in what new job I choose.

      Florida looks better all the time.

      How’s lockdown tolerance in Arizona?

      • prolefeed

        Texas legislature banned vaccine passports, governor banned face mask mandates. Short of Texas going Blue, no lockdowns or any of that bullshit is happening here.

      • Nephilium

        When I was there in January, one place the girlfriend and I stopped at for a bite no one inside (staff included) was wearing masks.

    • Sean

      Kids are the worst anyway.

      🙄

      • Plinker762

        And they say the darndest things.

      • C. Anacreon

        Art Linkletter ate pudding pops?

    • Tonio

      Once again notice how the only hard numbers they give are “cases,” ie positive tests. The numbers that matter are hospitalizations and deaths.

      And while it is worrying that the children’s hospital is nearing capacity, but they don’t say how much of that if the ‘Vid, or provide any hard numbers.

      • Sean

        Positive tests in the same week the CDC admits PCR tests are shit?

        GTFO.

      • hayeksplosives

        Can’t they pretty much get any result they want by continuing to “cycle” the PCR tests repeatedly?

      • Sean

        I’m no scientist, but that seems to be the case.

      • hayeksplosives

        They surrendered all credibility when they lowered the cycle number when testing vaccinated people (otherwise it looked like the vaccine didn’t work) and also stopped recording positive tests of “asymptomatic” cases as positives, but only among the unvaccinated.

      • Tonio

        That’s called “cooking the books.”

      • Zwak, jack off, all trades

        They lost all credibility when it was totes OK to protest against racism as opposed to stopping the spread.

      • Trigger Hippie

        I wonder how many of those children actually need to be hospitalized and how many are there because their parents have been driven mad with fear from media hysteria.

      • hayeksplosives

        It astounds me that almost the only people wearing masks here in San Diego (other than restaurant workers) are young children.

        I just want to slap their parents for doing that to the kids.

        The psychological ramifications of this bullshit are going to be lifelong.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Perpetually frightened, perpetually outraged, perpetually offended, perpetual submission.

        Yeah, the next wave of adults are going to suck. Considering the post millennial will be in charge by then I’m feeling pretty good about smoking and drinking myself to an early grave.

      • rhywun

        it is worrying that the children’s hospital is nearing capacity

        It could also be lie, as happened in… St. Louis? I forget where.

        Tucker showed a response last night from a hospital that national media said was overflowing with kid-vid saying that it wasn’t true.

      • Chafed

        I was thinking the same.

      • DrOtto

        Yeah, we had a local story about how ICU beds are running out. No word on how many beds they have vs. how many they think they should have this time of year. It almost seemed like an ad to get people to vaccinate and mask, strange.

    • Trigger Hippie

      “Our children are dying. From two weeks old to two years old to four years old. You cannot make it up. Our children are dying.”

      Mmmkay…citation please. Show your work cuz I sure as shit didn’t see any link to that assertion in the article.

      • hayeksplosives

        New Orleans Mayor LaToya

        I think I’ve spotted your problem there…

      • Tres Cool

        Maybe she’ll have a wardrobe malfunction like her sister Janet.

      • Trigger Hippie

        That’s Ms. Jackson if you’re nasty.

      • CPRM

        Are you for REAL?

    • CPRM

      Why would you call 911 for it? Oh, right, we live in a world where people call 911 when the McDonald’s drive-thru doesn’t get their order right.

      • hayeksplosives

        My favorite are the guys who call the cops when their drug dealer cheats them. The 921 recordings are hilarious.

      • hayeksplosives

        Full disclosure: not sure much would happen if you call 921…

      • Rat on a train

        912 is the real number.

  11. Ted S.

    Bees!

    Coincidentally, TCM ran The Swarm overnight/early this morning. It’s one of those movies that’s so bad it’s a lot of fun.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    Despite five weeks of lockdown, infections in the nation’s largest city continue to spread. Officials recorded 170 new cases on Friday.

    You’re just not hitting it hard enough.

    • rhywun

      Wait till Australia gets real numbers. I shudder to think what “action” they will take.

    • CPRM

      It’s like the virus doesn’t play by the rules! That’s not fair!

  13. Jerms

    So…like regular Millennials?

    When i lived in Brooklyn i had a Chinese next door neighbor who had 3 kids and drove a cab for a living. Great guy but his daughter practiced playing piano every minute of every day. Drove me bananas.
    When i found out he bought a second investment home in Bay Ridge for 850k i almost shit myself. Seems like the Chinese are very good with money. Like the complete opposite of me.

    • Trigger Hippie

      It’s almost like the working Chinese immigrants from humble origins have a profound respect for frugality, temperance, hard work and delaying gratification for the hope of long term stability for themselves and their families. You know, Americans a generation or two ago. Somewhere along the lines we lost that concept as a culture, myself included.

      • CPRM

        buying things doesn’t always mean you have the money for it.

      • Rat on a train

        If the government can do it, why can’t I?

    • Zwak, jack off, all trades

      My ex-wife’s husband is first-generation Chinese-American. I don’t know the guy real well, but I do know he is frugal as heck, takes care of everything he owns really well, and there is some family money to be used for investments.

    • hayeksplosives

      Good grief. He didn’t even bother with murdering the older lady before he set her on fire because she was an invalid so he didn’t needTo kill her first.

      Total POS.

  14. CPRM

    ‘Being 26 playing against 18 year olds is like taking candy from a baby’ -Chris Weinke

  15. Plinker762

    Will the Space Force usher in nuke powered cars and radioactive soft drinks?

    • CPRM

      As long as I get my power armor the chi-coms can nuke the rest of you lot.

      • Sean

        Where’s my lethal robot butler?

      • CPRM

        Of course, your first thought goes to getting a Mr. Handy.

      • Sensei

        See, I want the French maid model.

      • CPRM

        Only if you put her in a synth body, otherwise it’s just a gross fetish.

      • hayeksplosives

        Rule 34?

      • Nephilium

        Video game references.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    Panicmongering? From public health experts?

    Former Assistant Secretary of Health Adm. Brett Giroir said he wants to see more specific numbers behind the CDC’s new recommendations before accepting them.

    “They said it’s a rare occasion,” he told Fox News’ Charles Payne on Wednesday. “If it’s rare, 1%, point-1%, then you don’t need to mask, and you shouldn’t recommend that. If it’s 20 or 30%, then what they said makes sense.”

    However, he later warned that unvaccinated individuals were at great risk for the delta variant.

    “Anyone who’s not vaccinated and who did not have COVID previously, the delta variant is so contagious that you’re going to get it,” he told “America Reports” on Thursday.

    SOOPERMEGACONTAGIOUS!!!!1!!!1

    YOU

    WILL

    GET

    IT.

      • hayeksplosives

        Lol.

        I think it’s time to watch that flick again. If any service is allowed to stream it ..

      • CPRM

        This is why I own physical copies of movies I find worthy.

      • Ghostpatzer

        That is priceless. Passersby here are wondering what that crazy old dude sitting on the bench is laughing about. If I get arrested, I blame CPRM.

      • CPRM

        To be honest, I’m probably to blame for most arrests in this country. I am a White Male after all.

      • slumbrew

        Don’t even need to click:

        “Not H.I.V. but full-blown Aiiiiiids!”

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Will I have bad symptoms? Likely no? Then IDGAF.

      • CPRM

        But you’ll have Covid!1!!11!!11111111!!11!`!@!!11111111111111!!!!!!1!!!!!!1!

      • Nephilium

        And be an asymptomatic sooper spreadar!

    • rhywun

      Anyone who’s not vaccinated

      Who want to tell him?

  17. Sensei

    https://bunshun.jp/articles/-/47515

    Extremely popular anime pop song singer and relatively popular voice actor husband. That said the wife is far more loved. Just got married only one year ago.

    Dude gets caught cheating in pretty much the dumbest and most disrespectful way possible.

    The otaku outrage against should be epic. I honestly feel bad for the wife. Everything I’ve read and heard leads me to like her.

    • CPRM

      I tried to read it, but it was just a bunch of squigly lines, I think that site got hacked.

      • Ghostpatzer

        Yes, that was quite inscrutable.

      • Rat on a train

        Let Google translate:

        “Gurenge of betrayal” “Kimetsu no Yaiba” Diva LiSA’s husband, Tatsuhisa Suzuki, has a fan woman and a hotel affair “Celebrating her birthday with a night view …”

        Is that better?

        So far my favorite comment is:

        What is the betrayal Gurenge? Is it related to Gurenge? Well, it doesn’t matter. No, I’ve caused too many celebrity problems lately … ? I’m on the right track, quit! If you have an affair, don’t get married. Garbage is (Suzuki) Even if you marry a good person (lisa), in the end you just hang out with Garbage and (Suzuki) Garbage (affair partner) and act like garbage … Is it wrong to say yourself?

  18. The Late P Brooks

    And-

    In its most recent available findings on breakthrough cases, which cover Jan. 1 to April 30, the CDC reported that 2% of patients had died and 10% required hospitalizations. And 29% of the hospitalizations involved asymptomatic patients or came from “a reason unrelated to COVID-19.

    What the fuck does that even mean?

    Hospitalization of asymptomatic cases? How does that work?

    Gotta get those scary scary numbers up somehow.

    • hayeksplosives

      They’re going to find a new “variant” every time people stop being scared.

      As to why asymptomatic people are being hospitalized, what it means is they’re hospitalized for a heart attack or pancreatitis (for example) but the hospitals test them for Covid in hopes they can get some sweet government money for treating the “pandemic”.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I would think that those people who have breakthrough are also disproportionately represented by people with immune systems that are haywire for some reason so you’d expect to see a relatively high death rate. As for the highlighted part, probably people who were being treated for whatever and were tested for Covid for their admission and were found out that way.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Of course they’re including hospitalizations with COVID when they got hit by a bus, of course they are.

      *beats head on wall *

    • mexican sharpshooter

      What the fuck does that even mean?

      It means they test everyone that shows up at the ED. The guy that says it burns when he pees? COVID. The burn victim? COVID. Crash a motorcycle? COVID.

  19. hayeksplosives

    No matter how much of a bad-ass you are, sometimes you just need your Pooh bear.

    https://i.imgur.com/9z0p0i1.jpg

    • Gender Traitor

      Ouch! I suspect poor Edward Bear would rather be bumping down the stairs.?

    • CPRM

      Watch the mail the next few week days.

    • rhywun

      Terrifyingly adorable.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    Don’t you get it? This new version of the snifflecooties is so unfathomably contagious that if an ant infected with it sneezes on Bora Bora, half the population of Los Angeles will die!

    • CPRM

      That’s racist! Bora Bora isn’t real!

      • CPRM

        Most ‘memes’ are dumb, but that right there, is good.

  21. Cy Esquire

    The best kind of bees…. BOOBIES!

    • CPRM

      Meet the typical Chinese millennial, who makes $22,000 a year but has no student debt, grew up in an economic boom, and has learned how to outhustle everyone else

      Somehow I don’t think the 3 young girls pictured are ‘typical’ Chinese millennials…

  22. Trigger Hippie

    So, has anybody here tried watching that HBO limited series The White Lotus?

    I tried to cuz Alexandra Daddario and her boobs but I gotta say, I can’t figure out who I’m supposed to be rooting for in that cast of characters. Daddario’s character obviously married a man she didn’t love for his money and uses their honeymoon to have an existential crisis at the expense of others, her husband is the prototypical over privileged frat boy douche bag, Steve Zahn’s entire family sucks, including the daughter’s tag a long friend. Zahn’s character is slightly sympathetic but annoying as shit. Stiffler’s Mom is even more obnoxious, and the hotel manager is a lying, stealing, drugged out spaz.

    In fact, the only character that seems like a decent human being is the black masseuse lady. Apart from her, why should I care about a bunch of people who go to paradise and spend the whole time behaving like assholes? Shitty show. I tapped out near the end of the third episode.

    • CPRM

      Never even heard of it. But it has been a growing trend since Seinfeld to make all the characters unrepentant dicks, and now it is just intolerable.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I haven’t liked a new show in that vein since Always Sunny came out. It’s just so played out now.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Ah, beat me to it.

      • CPRM

        I was tired of it already when that show came around. Danny DeVito is the only bit of what I’ve seen from that show that actually makes me laugh. But, to each their own.

      • Nephilium

        The one thing that It’s Always Sunny does well is that the majority of the misfortune that happens to the gang is entirely self inflicted. Not bad luck, not mistakes, just their own pettiness, greediness, and shortsightedness injuring themselves.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Yep. The show is a morality play and they always fail the test in the end.

      • Mojeaux

        I stopped watching Cobra Kai when I couldn’t stand their refusal to learn from their mistakes and kept making the worst choices possible.

      • Trigger Hippie

        I love The Gang but that show was due to be canceled if they didn’t bring in a big name actor/comic to round out the cast and increase ratings. At least that’s what I remember reading years ago. They hit it out of the park with DeVito.

      • Sensei

        I was thinking the same.

        Writing a flawed hero is quite difficult.

      • Ted S.

        Eh, try watching anything based on the work of Tennessee Williams. Unrepentant dicks the lot of them.

      • CPRM

        Collecting ceramic animals ain’t that bad.

      • Trigger Hippie

        At least the It’s Always Sunny characters are funny in their own sociopathic way. These people are just shitheads.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        ???

        There’s a difference between funny assholes and just plain old assholes.

      • slumbrew

        They’re also all pathetic. Which offsets the assholery.

  23. Spartacus

    From the CNN article:

    The hospital is currently treating seven Covid-19 patients, but Dunbar estimated eight to 12 patients are being admitted per day. The hospital is up to about six admissions per day with about 50% of those patients going to the ICU, according to Dunbar.

    lolwut?

    • Ted S.

      So three people going into ICU each day? How many getting out, and how many ICU beds do they have?

      • CPRM

        3. And 3 die of COVID, EVERY. DAY.

    • hayeksplosives

      I can’t tell if that is deliberate obfuscation of facts or if it’s just really shitty reporting.

      • Spartacus

        It’s CNN so probably both.

      • Chafed

        That’s the right answer.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      The hospital is currently treating seven Covid-19 patients, but Dunbar estimated eight to 12 patients are being admitted per day.

      Can somebody parse this out for me? Doesn’t that mean that out of the 8-12 daily patients, almost every single one is discharged same day? Even if they averaged 1 person per day that stayed for three days, and the rest are half-day admittances, that’s too much to end up with 7 in the hospital at any one time.

      • blackjack

        Whenever someone with more degrees than me says something totally incomprehensible, I just assume I’m too stupid to understand. I use the old time racist math and it causes issues with interpreting the new equity based stuff. This guy doesn’t give clear information on the race of any of the 3, 6, 9 or 12 people involved, so clearly that means that we are racist and covid is scary, especially to biopics or whatever. I’m pretty sure the whole thing gets cleared up when we realize that some races count as more than just one person and others less, basically.

  24. The Late P Brooks

    In fact, the only character that seems like a decent human being is the black masseuse lady. Apart from her, why should I care about a bunch of people who go to paradise and spend the whole time behaving like assholes? Shitty show. I tapped out near the end of the third episode.

    I can’t even remember what it was, but there was some show I tried watching which was like that. About half way through the second episode, I decided the only reason to keep watching would be in hope they all died in a plane crash or some other horrible way.

    That wasn’t likely, so I bailed.

    • Ted S.

      It was probably Lost.

    • Trigger Hippie

      How I Met Your Mother?

      • rhywun

        This.

  25. straffinrun

    Turned out alright, I suppose. But, I just didn’t give a fuck about complying tonight.

    • CPRM

      But Japan is in a STATE OF EMERGENCY!

      • straffinrun

        Went into to 7/11 after more than a few beverages and made a big deal about slathering hand sanitizer all over my body. My buddy realized he can’t take me anywhere.

      • Sensei

        Lawson and Family Mart sigh in relief.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Local gas station chain has branded their stores “Family Mart” with a green color (but no blue). I’m waiting for them to get hit with a cease and desist, even though FamilyMart USA is defunct.

    • straffinrun

      Sat on the train all the way back from Shinjuku (downtown) listening to this album. People staring at their phones. In the 90’s we’d listening to music and still have the common decency of keeping our visual in reality. Now it’s just sink into you own world and fuck the community. Kind of our fault for taking audio out of the equation.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xODK_OwxpHM

      • CPRM

        ‘VIDEO NOT AVAILABLE!’ That’s sure taking audio out of the equation.

      • straffinrun

        YouTube assumes you’re not ready for it.

      • rhywun

        staring at their phones

        I guess I’m just not wired for that. When I sometimes glance at what people are so fascinated by, it’s always them bored-swiping through Instacrap or tap-tap-tapping away at what I can only assume are messages of utmost urgency.

      • Sensei

        Also be sure to leave the volume turned up so as to disturb everyone around you.

      • rhywun

        That is very rare, thank the gods. I really, really hope that the boom-box mentality doesn’t make a comeback. Saw it a couple weeks ago on the train and it pissed me off. Of course it was some “tough guy”.

      • Sensei

        It’s the new normal on NJTransit.

        Guaranteed to happen.

      • l0b0t

        There is certain type of NYC beach-goer who seems unable to make it from the train station to the boardwalk without blasting their music from some portable device that looks like a karaoke machine stuffed into a grocery cart. Whenever I hear reggaetón music, I know there will be a shirtless, paunchy, late 20s – late 30s fella (often wearing a Puerto Rican flag as a cape) on his way to the water.

      • Rat on a train

        Back when I did the train commute, I only started listening to music because, even with headphones, people blared music so loud you could hear it. I figured if I am going to hear music, it should be good music not the crap they were playing.

      • Gustave Lytton

        One day, you’ll look over and the guy will be surfing Glibs. Replying to you!

        (Insert Keanu gif here)

    • CPRM

      I had my niece and nephew the other day ( goin into 5th and 3rd grade), and I wanted them to decide what they wanted for lunch. My nephew says ‘I want to try japanese pizza’ niece ‘japanese pizza isn’t a real thing!’ nephew ‘it is!’ niece ‘no it’s not!’ me ‘it is a real thing, and it’s weird’ niece’ how would you know?’ nephew ‘yeah, how would you know?’ me ‘because I know a guy that lives in japan’ both of them ‘what’s his name?’ me ‘No’, them ‘his name is no?’ me ‘yes’. END

      • Ghostpatzer

        The guy you know, he is a Doctor, no?

      • straffinrun

        Hehe. I can picture that. Usually, what they call “Japanese pizza” is okonomiyaki. Not even close to pizza, but I love the story.

      • Sensei

        Do I lose weeboo points because I don’t like okonomiyaki?

        Just doesn’t work for me.

      • straffinrun

        I’m not a weeboo, but it’s fine by me. It’s gotta be well to be worth eating.

      • Sensei

        Like any cultural staple everyone seems to have their version of what is “best”.

        Mind you after a few beers it becomes more appealing to me.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Just put some Kewpie and corn on a Red Baron, and you’ll be like 95% of the way there.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        No tuna?

        (I like RB. And Wild Mike’s, esp. for the accompanying herb packet.)

  26. The Late P Brooks

    The hospital is currently treating seven Covid-19 patients, but Dunbar estimated eight to 12 patients are being admitted per day. The hospital is up to about six admissions per day with about 50% of those patients going to the ICU, according to Dunbar.

    lolwut?

    Random numbers are random.

  27. juris imprudent

    This should’ve been original content here!

    In 10 words, the headline conveys the supreme value of health, safety, transgression, and bureaucratic regulation to the American professional classes, as well as the new status hierarchy constructed by the stakeholders in that regime. We pledge allegiance to our sainted dominatrixes and to coercive power wielded through symbolic proxies in the name of public wellness. If only social media were somehow more directly involved, you’d have a full hymnal for the new American religion.

    • Suthenboy

      ‘The new American religion’…gibberish?

      • Ghostpatzer

        Does the church of gibberish provide a religious objection to vaccination? Asking for a friend.

  28. Suthenboy

    If you are getting stung by bees you are doing something wrong. They can read you as well as dogs can read you.

    • Suthenboy

      Every weekend I call all of my family just to check in and see how they are doing. Normally my wife is watching tv so I step out into the front yard to make my calls. Invariably the bees see me and start nagging for food like stray dogs. They light on my hands and face and lick my skin. Hey, hey, hey, do you have any sugar? Where is the sugar?

      Bees are very social animals and not aggressive unless they smell a rat, and believe me, they can smell a rat.

    • CPRM

      I got stung by a bee once riding my bike down the street. I don’t think I was doing anything wrong. Then again I bit in the ass by a dog when I walking down the street…

      • Suthenboy

        You struck the bee while it was flying. It saw that as an attack. The most common way to get stung is to have loose clothing. The bee gets between your skin and clothing…when you move the clothing presses on the bee and the bee panics.

      • CPRM

        That does not equate with doing something wrong.

      • Suthenboy

        It doesnt matter what you think. It matters what the bee thinks. If you do something that makes the bee think you are a threat, you are doing something wrong.
        I have been around bees all of my life. I think I have been stung three times and each time it was because I did not secure my cuffs and a bee got under my clothing.

        Move slow. Do not be loud. Dont harm any bees. You won’t get stung.

      • blackjack

        This is true. I have no fear of bees. I just got stung on the 4th. I was walking and I felt something on my finger, so I used my other hand to wipe it off. It was a bee and it stung the wiping hand. Had I looked at it, I would have just let it fly off and everything would have been fine.

        The other time I got stung as an adult was far scarier. I was riding my bike through the desert at around 80 mph. I watched the bee fly at my windshield, come around it and go straight into my nose, where it stung me inside my nostril. My eyesight went completely white. Thankfully, there was nobody else around. I just carefully slowed to a stop and got the bike in neutral. There was massive water pouring out of my eyes and nose. It took a good two or three minutes to get myself back together enough to continue. At the next stop, I rinsed my face with water for a good long bit and told the other riders the story. They all had bee stories too.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Whoa.. me too. Was riding downhill fast and the fucker stung me in my leg.

      • hayeksplosives

        Was it really a bee or was it one of those yellow jacket mutha fuckas? Those assholes will sting you with no provocation at all.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Yellowjacket, yeah. Still call it a bee sting. Honey and bumbles are mild guys. I don’t think I’ve ever been stung by one of them. Or by a dead bee (RIP Walter Brennan).

      • Ghostpatzer

        With no provocation and repeatedly. I hate those fuckers.

      • hayeksplosives

        I was outside reading a book a few summers ago and a Yellowjacket landed on my thigh.

        I didn’t move, I was just observing it. It was there for no more than 2 seconds before it plunged its stinger in me and flapped its wings violently as if to sting EVEN DEEPER. I swatted it dead of course. I could not for the life of me figure out what its possible motivation was.

        The Yellowjacket equivalent of Suicide by Cop?

      • l0b0t

        When I was doing crafty, during outdoor shoots on Lawn Guyland, I would make traps from plastic water bottles and sugar water, placing them so as to draw the ever-present yellowjackets away from my food tables. They are fascinating to watch, they will land on the sopressata and use their wee mandibles to scoop out and ball up the meat and fly away with it.

  29. hayeksplosives

    I think I might still be tipsy from last night…

    • CPRM

      Then you dun right.

      • hayeksplosives

        I did indeed receive the awesome Hat and Hair trivet tiles. They are quite lovely.

        Thank you.

  30. Ghostpatzer

    “I TOLD him to buy a fucking clothes dryer!”

    https://nypost.com/2021/07/31/how-osama-bin-laden-was-found-by-his-familys-hanging-laundry/

    “To be a true Muslim,” bin Laden believed “you should only marry the four wives sanctioned by Islam and then … treat all four of them fairly,” writes national security analyst and former CNN producer Peter Bergen in “The Rise and Fall of Osama bin Laden” (Simon & Schuster), out Tuesday.

    That, the fundamentalist believer claimed, was far superior to his father’s practice of churning through wives by constantly divorcing them and marrying new ones.”

    Solid family values, a role model for these troubled times.

    • CPRM

      He was a Conservative! Thus all Conservatives are wrong! So We must strip Conservatives of their power by banning things We don’t like!

      • Rat on a train

        Send helicopters out to look for hanging laundry.

    • hayeksplosives

      Snort.

      Coincidentally, the Mr Splosives’ term for Muslim women in full conservative garb is “pile of laundry.”

      As in: “At Sam’s Club today all these g@&):#% piles of laundry were standing in the aisles and stinking up the place.”

      I gotta say, I’ve seen exactly zero women in full Islamic garb or even just the headscarf since moving to San Diego.

      In Minneapolis they were all over the place. Every day. A nearby suburb, Columbia Heights, was bursting at the seams with conservative Muslims and they were starting to spill over into my neighborhood. I had a “there goes the neighborhood” reaction when a HEY LOOK AT US—WE’RE MOOSLIM!! family moved in down our (dead-end) street. Complete with a “1 UMMAH” license plate.

      • hayeksplosives

        And yes, I lived in Ilhan Omar’s district.

        Barf.

        I’m fine with their personal religious practices, but the fundamental problem with Islam is that it’s not just a religion; it’s meant to be a socio-economic and governmental system with religious overtones. It doesn’t want to hop into the melting pot.

      • rhywun

        My neighborhood is bursting with those types. I shrug. They’re mostly good neighbors, quiet, and don’t cause any trouble. That bitch Linda Sarsour is trying to stir up trouble with their kids, though. At least the protests they stage are actually “peaceful”, which is something of a miracle given the huge numbers of (((those guys))) who reside nearby.

        My major complaint is that they’re buying all the shops and turning them into hookah bars and jewelry stores and such. Do I really need four shawarma joints on my block?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Yes, if they’re all good.

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        Ok, Bernie.

      • C. Anacreon

        No shawarma. Khlav Kalash!

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        + crab juice

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Mostly spotted in City Heights and El Cajon (ISTR Obama admin settled them there because it’s cheapish); sometimes inland Clairemont.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        (uh, re SD County, that is)

      • Gustave Lytton

        Hey TO’G, this is the one we got

        https://vremi.com/products/moisture-maniac-dehumidifier

        Overkill based on square footage but wanted something that could suck moisture. I’d say normal humidity runs about 60%-80% year round. This drops down to mid 30%’s in the back bedroom it’s in and mid 40%’s for the entire house (~1300sqft).

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Cool, thanks. So far I can’t be bothered with the venting an AC requires, whether window or portable.

        Wish I’d learned about Damp-Rid much earlier in life. The linen closet doesn’t have to smell like B vitamins??

      • Gustave Lytton

        It works but it will also heat the room too, same as an unvented AC unit completely inside.

      • Rat on a train

        I went to Kings Dominion on a hot day. I say a couple there. The woman was covered head-to-toe. The man was in shorts and a tank top. At least the Amish are more consistent.

    • hayeksplosives

      Hey YU!

      Those were pretty epic. I reposted a couple to Facebook. I’m sure I’m in Facebook jail for a while now.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        It’s always fun to pass that link around, we all could use a laugh now and then,
        Pile of laundry… heh

      • Mojeaux

        You are?!

    • Ghostpatzer

      Thanks! Tough to pick one from that group, but if the Redskins became the “Washington Lizard People” I might start watching the NFL again.

      • hayeksplosives

        Gatling gun possum was good too. I have many questions about the string of circumstances that led up to that photo…

  31. The Late P Brooks

    Well, it’s time to go for a little drive.

    • straffinrun

      Takes a turn down a dirt road past the abandoned farmhouse. The road crumbles into a path then open field. The pit is dug and filled in. Late P Brooks goes home, confident that the body will never be found.

      • Gustave Lytton

        The first draft of the lyrics to Red Barchetta?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Dude, that’s right down the road from my house, where the methbillies are….

      • hayeksplosives

        Somewhere an advertising executive for Subaru just bolted upright out of deep sleep with an uncontrollable urge to film a new commercial…

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Which article? there are many to choose from

      • hayeksplosives

        That’s the point. The China threat was the thrust of the whole issue. It’s easier to see in the print edition.

        Xi isn’t shy about flexing those muscles to intimidate his neighbors either.Taiwan is nervous.

    • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

      Probably quite a few; immunity deficit’s a thing.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Feature, not bug?

      • Gustave Lytton

        The wildfire that burned out several towns in Southern Oregon was spread by the local greenway. Greenway that turns brown in the summer time as it dies and dries out. Would be better to have non flammable firebreaks…

        The classification maps also chaps my hide. This was already done 10-15 years ago as part of the last wildfire prevention scheme (spoiler alert: it didn’t). But that was a county level decision rather than by a centralized state bureaucracy that needs to be staffed and funded.

      • blackjack

        Meh, just do like we did. Mandate so much money for renewable energy that you don’t have any left to maintain existing power delivery infrastructure. Then, when all the fires happen, you can blame global warming and mandate even more money to your buddies solar companies. In order to meet the mandates (which you never could without cheating) just buy a massive amount of energy from other states and let them do your polluting for you. That way, when Oregon burns, California has outages. But, we met our self imposed mandate, now didn’t we? It all makes sense to these people.

      • Gustave Lytton

        That too. I’m thinking of the now mandated public danger power outages (that merely shifts from one danger to several others but we’re Doing Something).

    • Mojeaux

      Alternate: Givernor signs bill telling wildfires not to get started or else face jail time.

      • Nephilium

        /thinks back to the middle ages when animals were put on trial

        I’m glad we’re a much more enlightened people now.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Givernor: I like that. If a typo then stet.

      • Mojeaux

        [PeeWee Herman] I meant to do that! [/PeeWee Herman]