About The Author

CPRM

CPRM

Organic troll farmer.

122 Comments

  1. Gustave Lytton

    Excellent! And slamming on the “Doctor Who” abomination. JNT wasn’t the worst after all.

    “remember when I promised to rape you last?…

    …I LIED!”

    • CPRM

      Commando FTW!

    • rhywun

      Who knew we’d be missing Davies?!

      • UnCivilServant

        Congrats, that appears to have been comment number 2,000,000 by the automated numbering system.

        My we are a chatty lot.

      • UnCivilServant

        I don’t know.

        Probably five seconds of fame.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Free one year subscription to Glibertarians.com

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        And a “get out of my ass free” card for use during your next STEVE SMITH encounter.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Fine Print: Only valid with participating rapesquatches. Effectiveness not guaranteed.

      • Sean

        We can do better than that.

        I’ll throw in a couple dick pics.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Risky question around here

      • Ted S.

        A supply of Lee press-on nails?

      • Bobarian LMD

        And a copy of the home game.

      • Jerms

        Im gonna tell all my friends i know you.

      • leon

        congrats. You win an all expenses paid free investigation by one preet bahara

  2. Lackadaisical

    That was horrifying. Not sure I get it.

    • CPRM

      Is there anything to ‘get’?

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        STEVE SMITH HALP YOU GET IT!

  3. Sean

    I laughed.
    I cried.
    I came.

    *applause*

    • juris imprudent

      Two out of three would’ve been good enough.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Why would anyone laugh?

  4. Fourscore

    Thanks CPRM. The flashlight in the Hair’s hand? was a bonus, totally believable. The Aaron Rodgers’ Super Bowl win more like fiction

  5. Yusef drives a Kia

    I like the wicked Witch reference, very classy!

    • CPRM

      Always Classy, Always The Best.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Always funny as well, Bravo!

  6. Dr. Fronkensteen

    So does this mean that there is a hair doppelganger from WI in the woods as well?

    • CPRM

      The New Jersey Wilds are full of all manner of mythical beasts…

      • CPRM

        UR knot a REEL Fan! The Hat has the lisp, KNOT the HaIR!!!111

      • Fourscore

        Uh-huh

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      Does Scott Walker have a toupe?

      • CatchTheCarp

        Don’t know but this other Scott Walker made some weird music……..

        https://youtu.be/Q81XUM_kzoQ

  7. UnCivilServant

    OT Damn these purveyors of plastic crack.

    The trailer for the latest iteration of Kill Team shows Kriegers fighting Orks… which heavily implies Plastic Death Korps of Krieg in the pipeline. I’d initially thought them to be Steel Legion, which would also make sense fighting Orks. But either way, I don’t have enough spare money but want the plastic…

    • R C Dean

      Linkee?

      • UnCivilServant

        I mean a kill team starter box isn’t going to have resin in it, and if they’re rolling out Kriegers versus Kommandos, that implies plastic Death Korps, even if just the kill team minis.

      • Fourscore

        Looks like you’re back on the top of your game. Good to hear/know.

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, it was only abdominal surgery, my head’s fine now that there are no opioids in my veins fogging it up. Still working on mobility though. amazong how much you use those core muscles.

      • Fourscore

        Boy, Howdy. 4 months in a wheel chair and a walker. Went to the PO today for the first time. Use the walker. Then the bank but at least that was the drive thru. Still a little nervous about driving in any traffic.

        Really need a haircut, maybe next week.

      • R C Dean

        Thanks.

        I’m consistently impressed by the quality of the graphics in these trailers/”movies”. I am baffled as to why there aren’t more movies made using this technology,

      • l0b0t

        (Squeals with delight) Thanks for sharing that. Hey, if all you want are the weedy little ‘umie gitz, I might could go halfsies with ya for the Orks.

      • Nephilium

        For those interested, one of the Humble Bundles has some of the 40K stuff in it.

      • UnCivilServant

        I might have to consider it. But if the box contains scenery, what then? At least a few of them have.

      • l0b0t

        Certainly, lets first see what comes in the box (and how many fingers and toes GW wants for it) before we go all in. I’m mostly interested in the minis though. After the buyer’s remorse over the old Warhammer Castle (it’s still in my storage unit somewhere), I make my own scenery. I still shudder upon remembering GW charged a pretty penny for folding cardboard scenery that had previously been available as cardstock sheets in White Dwarf Magazine.

    • Bobarian LMD

      Is this about soccer?

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, Orks are canonically Cockney-voiced hooligans.

  8. Timeloose

    The Red dog is a great touch, cheap beer indeed.

    The new Who was worse than I could have imagined. I figured it would be strange with a woman doctor, but Missy was a fabulous Master. They were all horrifyingly bad episodes.

    I re-watched some of the previous show runner episodes just to cleanse my pallet.

    • Bobarian LMD

      This^^

      X100

    • l0b0t

      The actress who plays Missy, Michelle Gomez, also plays a psychotic hospital HR rep in a great show called Green Wing.

  9. juris imprudent

    Oh that Bee!

    Former President George W. Bush is pitching in to help President Biden celebrate the military’s sudden victory in Afghanistan, breaking out his famous ‘Mission Accomplished” banner from 18 years ago.

    • Fourscore

      Peace with honor was already taken. Now the Nixon-Ford-G.Bush will have a 4th at the table for the new Vegas Game, “Who ‘s the Biggest Loser?”

  10. Not Adahn

    Will watch when I’m not at work.

  11. robc

    Re: ucs question on morning thread.

    I am switching from data architect to … data architect.

    • UnCivilServant

      Ah.

      Okay, At least you know the work.

  12. Gustave Lytton

    In N Out cannot work without overstaffing. Burger was sitting in the assembled spot until it got cold because there’s one cashier taking orders, announcing orders, and making drinks. What a shit show.

    • R C Dean

      Cryptic.

    • Plisade

      Not quite as bad as watching your beer order get warm at the bar 🙁

      • Nephilium

        There’s a reason I generally prefer bar seats.

      • Plisade

        #metoo. It bugs when compadres don’t like bellying up.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I have a bad back, I like chairs over stools

      • Plisade

        “chairs over stools”

        So… a toilet?

      • Fourscore

        Well, it’s not actually a chair, more like a seat on a 4 inch riser. Has hand rails to keep from falling off.

    • B.P.

      The service sector is getting crushed right now. The lack of experience shows. I was at Chipotle (yeah, yeah I know, haters) last night, and the crew couldn’t keep anything in stock. This one girl making a bowl clearly had zero kitchen experience, as she put about a pint of sour cream on the thing.

      • leon

        You used to have to pay extra for that.

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      in-n-out… overstaffing.

      *Bevis laugh*

  13. UnCivilServant

    Well, this is a week that just keeps on giving. Just found Pharoh Ants in my house.

    Dammit.

    At least it’s not mice. Ordered some bait traps to try and kill the nests.

    • Nephilium

      I had some good results using this gel bait. After putting it out, a couple days later, no more ants in the house.

      • Jerms

        I use the Terro all the time too. They work better than anything else ive tried.

      • Suthenboy

        I am liking this

      • UnCivilServant

        I don’t think that would do so well inside the house against 1-2mm ants. I’d lose too much house in the process.

      • R C Dean

        I love that they have a bulk discount. Who doesn’t need several flamethrowers around the house?

  14. Animal

    STEVE SMITH must have a bad case of Butts Disease.

  15. leon

    So I know this is yesterday’s news, but I don’t typically get into the Pearl clutching of the day.

    That video by the San Francisco Gay Mens chorus, while not as sinister as made out in some outlets, it’s also not the innocent clip they are trying to make it out to be.

    • juris imprudent

      As if Winston’s Mom singing about pubescent boys wouldn’t be cringe-inducing for heterosexuals? Why is stupid the default setting in our culture?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I think stupid is just the default setting.

      • EvilSheldon

        Because our culture is being run by very stupid, very emotionally immature people.

    • B.P.

      I figured they were just tweaking their perceived enemies and celebrating being on the right side of history(tm).

      • R C Dean

        Tweaking, provoking, whatevs.

        Remarkably arrogant, tone-deaf, and stupid, IMO.

      • Sean

        When someone tells you what they’re going to do, take them at their word.

        The crazy, radical left is turbocharged & supercharged now. They plan on doing everything they can get away with.

        There is no more gradual. This has all been by design in major cities, and the plan is to export it to the suburbs.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Correct. Notice where the CRT fights are happening. Hint, hint, it’s not in Big City Public High School #271. It’s in the wealthy suburban school districts.

        The left has found what they believe to be a winning formula for blueifying the suburbs.

        1) import leftists into community institutions like schools and local government

        2) increase the ratio of multi-family housing to allow the import of people who couldn’t otherwise afford to live there

        3) target soccer moms heavily with indoctrination campaigns and social media influencers

        4) start establishing vote harvesting programs like exist in the cities

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      “You will endorse us and our lifestyle.”

  16. juris imprudent

    What’s this? CNN slipping away from the narrative?

    The US military consists of 1.3 million active-duty personnel and yet it can’t leave 2,500 troops in Afghanistan? To use a trademark Biden expression: C’mon man!

    OK, it was still CNN-stupid, just not utterly deferential to Biden.

    • R C Dean

      Wrong question, CNN. Its not “can we post thousands of troops to Afghanistan?” Its “should we post a single soldier to Afghanistan?”

      • Suthenboy

        The right question is “What did we get out of spending over one trillion dollars over 20 years on ME wars?”

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        A vastly more powerful federal government.

      • juris imprudent

        And a corner of the world with a bigger gripe about us than OBL ever had.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Pffffttttt, backlash is a myth.

      • Bobarian LMD

        And those are the good parts!

      • Bobarian LMD

        Somehow, another $20T in debt?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Hell, we’ve got enough for about 6,600 per country on the planet. Why the fuck aren’t we occupying everywhere?

      Jesus, it’s like we’ve got this massive military, let’s use it!

      • juris imprudent

        A thousand neo-con dicks stand at attention.

      • EvilSheldon

        I don’t begrudge the poor bastards the only way they can get it up…

      • juris imprudent

        Dammit I do – get your kinks on your own dime, not out of the national treasure (& blood).

      • EvilSheldon

        Fair point. It would be cheaper (and arguably more moral) to seal Boot (and Duran and the rest of their ilk) into a locked room with a bunch of dead brown kids, and let him screw himself into a heart attack…

      • kinnath

        Defense or conquest. Make a choice.

        This nation-building horseshit needs to end.

      • Suthenboy

        Why end a winning streak?

        Oh…wait…

      • Bobarian LMD

        We’re still working getting it started?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      No, it was utterly deferential to the Pentagon and the spook agencies which is actually worse. CIANN is more like it ( sorry, that was lame but I’m tired and that’s the best I’ve got).

  17. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Things that annoy me, part eleventy

    Libertarians that think they can own the “systemic racism” issue.

    There’s no chance that will happen. As soon as you engage on that ground, you’ve ceded control of the argument to the people that control the definition of the term.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      Libertarians that think they can own the “systemic racism” issue.

      Lulz, play footsie with the prog-fascists and see where that gets ya. Oh yeah, most of those libertarians are just prog-fascists who aren’t completely insane about the economic side of things. Good luck finding a firm footing to oppose the fascist parts when you’re constantly whimpering “but I agree with you on the prog parts” and cowering in the corner.

      • R C Dean

        Cosmos gonna cosmo. This is what “socially liberal, fiscally conservative” looks like.

        Hint: in today’s America, you can’t be “socially liberal” and “small government”.

      • EvilSheldon

        I can do whatever the fuck I want.

      • EvilSheldon

        “This just says, ‘Suck my ass, bitch.'”

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        In the strictest sense of the word, “Live and let live” and the Golden Rule are liberal values.

      • R C Dean

        “In today’s American politics

        Being “socially liberal” means forcing the deplorables to bend the knee.

        “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” is a complete nothing. “Do unto others, good and hard” is more like it.

        The liberal label has been completely skinsuited by Marxist progressives. To the point where they don’t even use it any more. They are just “progressives”, and hope you don’t notice the Marxist part.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Cosmos gonna cosmo.

        Yup. Turns out that you actually have to rely on a working moral compass to detect and refute authoritarianism.

        From an article I wrote in 2018 on the topic:

        However, [social liberalism] is ineffective in two ways. First, people, even [social liberals] , tend to have a line drawn in the sand where they shift from relativistic deference to the individual to a more absolutist stance. For example, Cosmotarians tend to be [social liberals] up to the point where their particular identity politics ox is gored. Second, [social liberalism] gives no answer to Cultural Marxism. [Cosmotarians] are either forced to kowtow to the virulent left, or they end up drifting authoritarian.

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      The LP has been idiotic for at least the last decade. It is maddening, in 2016 there was a chance to make some sort of electoral gains by advocating for pro-liberty positions. Instead they decided to try and shoot the middle and ended up looking like a cheap imitation of the two parties.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Dave Smith/Whoever 2024. I’d actually vote for him.

  18. TARDis

    I felt a little bad for the Sconnie Hat.

    Also, I opted out of Vagina TARDIS driver. Did I miss something?