Thursday Afternoon Hot Summer Links

by | Jul 29, 2021 | Daily Links | 407 comments

Culturally appropriative musical link for your enjoyment.

 

Overall best. Bonus for “nobody likes a thief” sign in background.

 

Orbiting death-ray satellites. What could possibly go wrong? Everything, of course. Particularly if there is an unholy alliance of enviro-nuts and defense contractor grifters.

 

Most libertarian – no explanation or apology. Bonus stylistic points for staggered text.

 

Critical Race Theory Watch: Biden Department of Ed now beset with FOIA requests over ties to Abolitionist Teaching Network.

 

“Questionably moist bills,” for the WIN! Apparently the word “moist” is unpopular in certain quarters; find an excuse to use it in convo today.

 

Cool things that we shouldn’t be finiancing with tax dollars: Jeff Bezos makes NASA an offer he hopes they can’t refuse.

 

A sign from a land down under. Bonus for “jock money.”

 

Vatican vexed to discover gay hookup app Grindr being used in the Holy See.

 

Implies that boob and sock money is okay in colder weather. Do boobs not sweat then?

 

Canada’s Labour Minister Filomena Tassi was informed that the initiative of free tampons and pads in the workforce could cost more than $1 million annually in order to become a reality for female employees… In the event there is a 100-percent take up rate by the government, the cost might be closer to $2.3 million, according to The Canadian Press. That’s menstruating persons, Minister. So unwoke.

 

 

A Great American has died.

About The Author

Tonio

Tonio

Tonio is a Glibs shitposter, linkstar (Thursday PM, yo), author, and editor. He is also a GlibZoom personality and prankster. Tonio is a big fan of pic-a-nic baskets. His hobbies include salmon fishing, territorial displays, dumpster diving, and posing for wildlife photographers.

407 Comments

  1. Shpip

    Blue Origin founder Jeff Bezos says his company will cover more than $2 billion in costs if NASA will award it a second Human Landing System (HLS) contract.

    He’ll make it up on volume. Or swallow NASA whole, I dunno.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Isn’t that the definition of a bribe? Not that rules matter to certain people, but I am sure that is a bribe.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Probably one of those legal bribes. Certainly he ran that past the lawyers first.

      • Not Adahn

        Sen. Menendez agrees.

      • Gadfly

        Not really, it’s basically the same as a 3 for the price of 2 deal at the supermarket.

  2. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Being the perverted capitalist and weird fetishist that I admittedly am I will gladly accept boob and sock money and you’ll get a discount if it’s sweaty.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Moist is the word you are looking for. Moist.

      • slumbrew

        For you Mac folks:

        > for x in {1..10}; do say moist; done

        My wife is not amused by that.

      • Fatty Bolger

        No? I find it moist amusing.

      • Animal

        You certainly got the moist out of it.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Moist people are repulsed by such language

      • waffles

        Heh heh…moisture.

      • Rat on a train

        You need to do the foo, bar, baz equivalent with moist, boob, money.

      • Animal

        With boob money, they’re faster on the draw than Bat Moisterson.

      • SDF-7

        I thought most of the boob money was for body art these days.

        You know.. tit for tat.

      • Animal

        They’ll probably end up on America’s Moist Wanted.

      • blackjack

        How else can one spend sweat equity?

      • slumbrew

        for x in {1..10}; do say moist; say boob; say money; done

        is positively hypnotic.

      • Animal

        Money? Put it on the Moistercard.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I feel like we have stereotyped the New Jersey Jews and their inability to say most. We moisten be so insensitive.

      • Animal

        Moist likely.

    • Gadfly

      Man boob and man sock money included?

  3. Count Potato

    I was wondering what all those pictures in our library were doing.

    • Tonio

      Were you tittilated?

      • Count Potato

        No, but I thought it was HM.

      • Tonio

        I am honored, sir.

  4. Count Potato

    “PCR tests, long hailed as the “gold standard” in detecting SARS-Cov-2 cases, will be dropped by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention at the beginning of next year.

    Polymerase chain reaction tests have been a mainstay of the U.S. and global response to COVID-19 since early in 2020, but health officials have warned the diagnostic tool poses a risk of false-positive results.

    The test works by amplifying a biological sample through successive cycles until a virus — if it’s present in the assay — can be detected by the testing machine.

    The CDC announced this month that it would be withdrawing its request to the U.S. Food and Drug Administration for the emergency use authorization of the test. The agency urged laboratories to “begin their transition to another FDA-authorized COVID-19 test.”

    https://justthenews.com/politics-policy/coronavirus/after-two-years-usage-cdc-will-move-away-covid-tests-pose-risks-false

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Is this the test that supposedly doesn’t differentiate covid from flu or is this yet another shitty test?

      • Chafed

        It’s a shitty test because if you set the cycles too high, which is what happened while Trump was in office, then you get lots of false positives.

      • Bobarian LMD

        AKA– Asymptomatic Covid sufferer.

        AKA– Yuge spike in Delta Variant cases!!!!

      • R C Dean

        I refer to this as “torturing the sample until it tells you what you want it to say”.

    • R C Dean

      There’s a new one that also results for flu. When they say “false positives”, they are talking about people who had the flu but got diagnosed with COVID. I gather it was standard practice in many (most?) hospitals to only give the flu test to somebody who tested negative for COVID.

      There’s no telling how many flu cases have been misdiagnosed as COVID.

      What a fucking farce.

    • R C Dean

      a virus — if it’s present in the assay — can be detected by the testing machine

      I love that they say that in the very next sentence after they say PCR tests throw false positives.

    • Sean

      So, they’re gonna keep them just long enough to do one more set of lock downs?

      • Bobarian LMD

        One? Aren’t you the fucking optimist?

    • westernsloper

      Ya, some of us dimwitted asshats have been SCREAMING ABOUT THIS FOR OVER A FUCKING YEAR!!!!!!11 But the inflated case numbers got the vax out so it is all good….. BIG FUCKING PHARMA CASHED THE FUCK IN SO IT IS ALL FUCKING GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 FUCKING MOTHER FUCKING MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!!!

      Not to mention the fact they are now saying perhaps we should look toward treatments for this thing known as Covid. THEY HID THE FACT WE COULD TREAT IT SINCE THE OUTBREAK TO PUSH VACCINES BECAUSE THEY ARE MURDERING MOTHER FUCKING MOTHER FUCKERS who should all be lined up and marched into a court room.

      • blackjack

        The Sloper, reining it hihn!

      • westernsloper

        Ya, sorry. Moist of the time I contain my rage. Often times I am wondering if I am the crazy one and all the crony government front groups for corporations like the CDC…………..etc really have our best interest at heart. And then the last year and a half happened.

  5. Tres Cool

    I think I caught “Filomena Tassi” once when I was in Juarez, MX

    • Necron 99

      Did penicillin fix you up? Asking for a friend…

      • Bobarian LMD

        That was the name of the donkey.

      • Necron 99

        Um, still asking for a friend…

  6. Ownbestenemy

    Since I posted on the soon to be ded thread and also completely misthreaded it…

    I am surprised that Biden hasn’t dropped his much anticipated Federal Workers Mandate. Wonder if there is some second thoughts given all the GovSec Unions have basically said nah…not until we negotiate.

  7. Zwak, jack off, all trades

    I had an older, gay roommate in college who had been a catholic priest at the Vatican. The stories about the Swiss guard would shock my Irish grandmother, not to mention the priests.

    • Chafed

      Go on.

  8. Not Adahn

    Vought, a former top Trump administration official

    And super-serum inventing Nazi

    • slumbrew

      I thought he invented a test to detect replicants?

      • Not Adahn

        No, but he struggled to do so.

  9. Count Potato

    “Texas Republican Sen. Ted Cruz blasted Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas for saying that Cubans who come to the U.S. by sea will be turned away as his department releases thousands of illegal migrants, stopped at the southern border, into U.S. communities.

    According to a report on Tuesday, border patrol has released about 50,000 illegal immigrants without a date to appear in court, and only 13% of them have reported to an ICE office. In the past, migrants eligible for release into the U.S. after being caught at the border were assigned court dates.

    Former President Donald Trump reached an agreement with Mexico that required migrants awaiting their court hearings to remain in Mexico instead of the U.S. The Biden administration terminated that agreement.

    Cruz was asked for his response to Mayorkas saying Cubans won’t be allowed into the U.S. by sea after protests broke out in Cuba, which is ruled by a communist regime.

    “I think it reeks of hypocrisy,” Cruz told Just the News at a rally for freedom in Cuba held on Capitol Hill. “This is an administration that has presided over an absolute catastrophe at the border, and ironically, the only group of illegal immigrants that that the Biden administration wants to keep out are Cubans, and one has to think the reason for that is that Cubans tend to vote Republican. ”

    https://justthenews.com/government/congress/cruz-dhs-blocking-cuban-migrants-entering-us-sea-because-they-tend-vote

  10. Rat on a train

    Any update on a Virginia Glibmeet?

    • slumbrew

      I saw Virginia Glibmeet at a club in DC, once. They were OK.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Too much SF…I read Vagina Glibmeat

      • Bobarian LMD

        I saw her perform at a club in Fayetteville NC.

        Two words — Smoke rings, baby!

    • Tonio

      My bad. I’ll put something up over on the forum.

    • EvilSheldon

      Virgin Glib Meat?

      *backs away slowly*

  11. Chafed

    I can’t wait to see what becomes of that FOIA request for the CRT connection. I strongly suspect it is there and will be very embarrassing to the Biden administration. This something most people won’t abide.

    • Tonio

      Many people won’t care, or will be intimidated into letting it go. The narrative about this is that anyone who opposes CRT is against teaching inconvenient history such as the 1921 Tulsa Massacre. They are determined to smuggle this in.

      • Gadfly

        That’s a fine narrative, except for the fact of all the explicitly racist worksheets that have surfaced, which can in no rational way be tied to simply teaching history. They should be more subtle if they want to sneak that stuff in.

  12. juris imprudent

    Dusty Hill, Ron Popeil – wonder who the third will be?

    • Animal

      The Constitution?

      • Ownbestenemy

        You sir are about 200 +/- 40 years too late for that entry

      • Animal

        Well, at least since 1860, certainly.

      • juris imprudent

        Didn’t figure you for one of dem living Constitutionalist types?

    • B.P.

      Please oh please don’t let it be Lou Reed. We as a people need some stability.

  13. Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

    Booooooobs

    • Ownbestenemy

      Go on…

    • Rat on a train

      In old calculator leet: 80085

      • Ownbestenemy

        Correction, that would be 8000000085

    • Fatty Bolger

      ?

    • Nephilium

      I’m disappoint in all you people. Making me link Psychostick twice in the same day:

      Because Boobs

    • Gadfly

      Reminds me of a funny Twitter exchange I saw a few months back.

      Someone complaining about disproportionate artistic representation in comics [original tweet’s been deleted, so I don’t remember the specifics].

      Someone else: Counterpoint: boob good

  14. SDF-7

    For the last link, really should have added this for bonus music.

    The space based solar article comments are actually interesting (for a change from most internet comments these days) barring a digression into “YOUR side BAD” in the middle.
    I’ve long ago come to the personal conclusion that there is absolutely no technological solution to power needs that the enviro-weenies won’t scuttle, obstensively because there’s always drawbacks — but realistically because it precludes their moving everyone *else* back to being serfs… so I’m not holding my breath.

    • slumbrew

      It’s been obvious for a while that the only “solution” greenies are interested in is “everyone live in poverty”.

      Well, “everyone (but me) should kill themselves” is also popular, but they say that less often.

      • R C Dean

        It’s been obvious for a while that the only “solution” greenies are interested in is “everyone live else lives in poverty”.

        I’ve never met an environmentalist who didn’t have the same lifestyle as the people they said are killing the planet.

      • slumbrew

        My cousin is a crunchy granola type and walks the walk (can we talk about his composting toilet in his home?), but he is in the minority.

    • Count Potato

      That’s why they are against nuclear power.

    • Rebel Scum

      President Biden on Thursday called on state and local governments to use funds from his $1.9 trillion American Rescue Plan to offer $100 payments to individuals in order to incentivize coronavirus vaccinations.

      LOL, fuck off.

      Of course, Don Lemonuts wants you to starve if you don’t get the jab. Easy for him though. He’s been jabbed so much that one more can’t possibly hurt.

      • Tres Cool

        The fact that you posted that so quickly- do I applaud or scorn ?

      • Ownbestenemy

        I multiplied at a young age…and I don’t care what you think cause I am known to belt out a Silly Song from time to time. Come at me bro!

    • blackjack

      Woman arrested in cold case for having stolen two of Groucho Marx’s mustaches.

    • SDF-7

      Toshiro Mifune had no patience for the news crew when we tried to interview him on the set of Yojimbo today….

      • slumbrew

        I keep that one handy, along with “it’s a woman’s penis” shot.

      • Sean

        You survived?

      • slumbrew

        They haven’t started transmitting to him yet.

    • Trigger Hippie

      “In just seconds you too can have thick, luxurious eyebrows with the new Ronco Eyebrows in an Aerosol Can!” -Ron Popeil

    • juris imprudent

      A little young but definite abeula material.

  15. blackjack

    A Great American has died.

    But WAIT! There is nothing more!

    • slumbrew

      *golf clap*

    • Ghostpatzer

      There is nothing more

      Don’t tempt the squirrels!

  16. Ghostpatzer

    Two bars into the music link, I thought “Herb Alpert”. Yup, Julius Wechter composed this, and his marimba was a key part of the Tijuana Brass sound.Culturally appropriative indeed.

    • Not Adahn

      She was immediately arrested for insurrection, sedition and treason.

    • SDF-7

      Dammit, Janet!

      • Surly Knott

        It’s just a step to the left…

  17. Rebel Scum

    I usually pay with plastic anyway.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Wife keeps the card in her boulder-holder. Wonder if they would say the same thing if she handed it to them. Besides…I am assuming some pimpled face teen would gleefully take boob money for the chance at being so close to the glands that once gave him life.

    • Rat on a train

      moist plastic?

  18. blackjack

    In L.A., if they didn’t accept wadded up one dollar bills with boob sweat on them, musicians would all starve to death.

    • blackjack

      Further, in L.A. most boobs do not sweat, because they are made of plastic.

      • Ownbestenemy

        We need Q’s ruling on this

  19. Rebel Scum

    Based Thomas Massie calling the Wicked Witch of the West’s bluff.

    This is INSANE. Might as well come into my office and arrest my entire staff. We are not wearing masks. I support the Capitol Hill Police, but the Chief of Police made a mistake here. The physician and the chief of police don’t have this authority.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Yeah read that earlier but we were doing so good with actually talking about retirement. Good on him. Now the rest of the population needs to do the same when they enter stores.

  20. Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

    What’s wrong with sweaty boob money? I like sweaty boobs, and I like money.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Not clicking but I know exactly what that is…

      • slumbrew

        I’d be disappointed by any Glib who didn’t.

        I keep expecting a religion to form based on that clearly revealed prophecy.

      • Ownbestenemy

        My wife never saw it until this year. She was a sheltered child

      • Drake

        I recommended it to a coworker who had never seen it. He was repeating lines from it for a month.

    • rhywun

      I had no idea an aversion to sweaty boob money was so common. I must be going to the right stores.

      • slumbrew

        I… Do you…

        I have questions.

    • PutridMeat

      Huh. Interesting idea for an article. Two things that individually are great, but combined become less desirable…

      Alcohol:driving. Nah too serious.

      Peanut butter:Chocolate

      Sex:Work. No not like mangu-ward sex work, but banging from the office pool.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        There’s a kids song that pops up on occasion in the rotation that goes something like

        “Do you like pizza?”
        “Yes I do”
        “Do you like smoothies?”
        “Yes I do”
        “Do you like pizza smoothies?”
        “Yuck! No I don’t”

        Anyway, this reminded me of those songs.

      • PutridMeat

        I was thinking Pizza:Pineapple. But then I realized those things go great together.

      • Rat on a train

        Aaaahhhh, don’t make me relive the trauma.

      • R C Dean

        I’ll go for the low-hanging fruit.

        Pineapple:Pizza

      • Rat on a train

        That’s ham:pineapple!

      • slumbrew

        One of my fondest flings involved banging from the office pool.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Never dip your ink…and all that.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Okay, that sounds like Baby Bush trying to do an analogy. I will gladly see myself out.

  21. Rebel Scum

    Seems like the legislature should always be able to inquire on such things: Members of Congress BLOCKED from seeing conditions of January 6th political prisoners

    Nazi Polydent Pelosi enacting her shame muzzle dictate.

    In a Capitol Police Bulletin, Pelosi specified all USCP personnel must wear a mask at all times when in interior spaces throughout the Capitol Grounds. Additionally, she directed officers who work on the House side of the Capitol to enforce the policy on staff and visitors.

    • SDF-7

      Yeah, federal prison should definitely be open for oversight inspections.

      In pure-wish-world, that would trigger a Congressional response of “You won’t let us inspect? Fine… you have no departmental budget now. Enjoy the private sector.” But that would require Congress to find its sweaty jocks with both hands and a road map, to continue the moist theme of the day…

    • Ownbestenemy

      Well isn’t that the same thing they pulled on the border holding pens? Nope…can’t inspect them!

      Mandates…no one really cared
      Nationwide City Destruction….no one really cared
      Political Prisioners….no one really cared
      President calling 50% of the population stupid….no one cared

      We are getting what we put in and it is clear we have all tuned out to bread and circus at this point.

  22. Tres Cool

    ” A great American has died”.

    The Ronco Pocket Crematory ?

    Or the Mortician Magician ?

    • Ownbestenemy

      Excellent impression. I did enjoy the ones where “Obama” joined a Black Ops 2 Game

  23. Rebel Scum

    *Yawn*

    Virginia’s 5th Congressional District Republican Committee organized the rally, which will be held at Liberty University. Its chairman, Melvin Adams, has openly talked about being outside the U.S. Capitol during the Jan. 6 insurrection with his wife Sandy Adams, who serves as Rep. Good’s district director.

    In a press call Tuesday, Virginia Democrats expressed their outrage over the rally and GOP gubernatorial nominee Glenn Youngkin’s scheduled appearance.

    “Make no mistake about it — voting rights and our very democracy are under attack across the country, and it’s because of Donald Trump and the extreme Republican politicians like Glenn who are helping him undermine America’s free and fair elections,” state Democratic Party Chairwoman Susan Swecker said during the call. …

    Their Democratic rivals called on them to not attend the banquet, linking the GOP candidates to former president Donald Trump and the Jan. 6 insurrection

    “Glenn – enough is enough. I call on you to immediately withdraw from this ‘election integrity’ rally and disavow this dangerous, deadly conspiracy theory once and for all,” Terry McAuliffe, the Democratic gubernatorial nominee, said in a statement.

    Whatever, Terry McCunteface.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      “Fuck off and shove your indignation up your corrupt asshole”

    • Rat on a train

      Christopher Piper, Virginia’s Department of Elections commissioner, referred to the 2020 presidential contest as the “most successful election in the history of Virginia” in March.

      It was successful for one side.

    • Hyperion

      NOVA is the real Panem on the Potomac.

    • EvilSheldon

      Interesting. I’m already seeing some Youngkin signs and banners out in NoVa…

    • Annoyed Nomad

      And as the twitter author, Kathryn Huwig, points out – the numbers are for patients WITH COVID, not necessarily hospitalized DUE TO COVID.

    • R C Dean

      Even the DOH data doesn’t describe a crisis. Not even close. Plenty of hospital capacity. In fact, when I look at the hospitalization graphs, I’m thinking “Those hospitals may be in financial trouble. That’s not enough patients to break even.” Of course, the chart on bed capacity is based on licensed beds, not staffed beds, so they may be OK.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Interesting how the non Covid numbers are also rising, with about the same increases. Almost as if there’s another cause…

      • R C Dean

        We’re seeing high numbers of inpatients, even without COVID (today, we have a total of 435 patients in the house, including 15 COVID patients). We would expect to be maybe in the high 300s this time of year (our slow season), something like that. And that’s pretty typical industry-wide.

        Nobody really has a good explanation. Some of it could still be catch-up from the hospital lockdowns last year, but that doesn’t seem like it should account for all of it.

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        Lowered bar for hospitalization to bring in more paying customers?

      • R C Dean

        Doesn’t work like that. There are very strict and detailed requirements for hospital admissions, at least if you want to get paid. And trust me, we want to get paid.

      • slumbrew

        Statistical anomaly or some significant contributing cause? I guess we’ll find out.

        Unless it reflects badly on our overlords. So, probably not.

      • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

        We’re now starting to get the bill for the 17+ months of immunity deficit we’ve been building up in our general population?

  24. Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

    I’m curious what the overall reaction in the Fedgov is going to be to mandatory vacks. The Postal Workers union, in a hell-freezing move, issued a statement against forced vacks, IIRC

    • Ownbestenemy

      Not good. It is why, now being 4:45 DC time, no announcement has been made, I am thinking that not just Postal Workers union, but probably NACTA, PASS, AFSCE, etc have all said…good luck buddy.

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        If the unions come on strong against this, I wonder if they’ll proceed with it, but only apply it to contractors and PSC’s. Then they can say they “did something”.

        I’m not looking forward to the ensuing shitstorm.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Unions will cave once they get their bribe.

      • Ownbestenemy

        From my ear on the ground to you, our PubSec union is not happy. He is an old school NY Union guy that plays the part and absolutely hates “management”. We were supposed to get an all clear ‘back to work’ notice and he told the FAA to fuck off, in much better language.

        This is going to be an epic shitshow of party switching proportions….I hope.

      • grrizzly

        https://www.bostonglobe.com/2021/07/29/nation/biden-pushing-federal-workers-get-vaccinated/

        Government actions in New York City and California have already faced resistance from local unions. And prior to Biden’s announcement, some national unions were speaking out against it.

        Brian Rothenberg, spokesman for the 397,000-member United Auto Workers, said the union encourages workers to get vaccinated but is against requirements because some people have religious or health concerns.

        Larry Cosme, President of the Federal Law Enforcement Officers Association, which represents 30,000 federal officers and agents, said in a statement while the organization supports the vaccine it opposes compelling it.

        “Forcing people to undertake a medical procedure is not the American way and is a clear civil rights violation no matter how proponents may seek to justify it,” he said.

      • blackjack

        Cop unions actually do something for their members. My union will probably volunteer us to try out some other drugs too and offer up a pay cut just for good measure.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Unions can do right by the country if they stick to this. I know they will fall in line with this eventually, but it is a good roadblock for the time being.

      • R C Dean

        My guess: they see the $100/shot “bonus” as the opening offer, and this is just them starting the negotiations on what it will take for them to sell out.

      • blackjack

        So, we’ve already established they are whores, now we’re just haggling over price?

      • Animal

        GMTA.

      • Animal

        “Madam, we have established what you are. Now we are negotiating the price.”

      • Nephilium

        Interestingly enough, the NFL Players Association also issued a public statement “clarifying” the NFL statements.

      • R C Dean

        Last year, it was our player leadership that insisted on daily testing.

        Well, that was stupid.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Also why I think he went with the “We will pay you 100 to get the jab” instead today. Could be wrong, I mean, it is 2021

    • Hyperion

      Not too great. Peasant rules are not supposed to apply to them.

    • Ownbestenemy

      So a lot of this place shits on FedGov and they should..there are a lot of shitty drones that work for them. However, they are nothing like the DC shit we see daily in the news. The field is so different and disconnected from all of that that I would suspect we have a similar or even greater vaccine hesitancy than the country does and that is why I think Biden is making the move he did today.

    • Hyperion

      American commies went to the Soviet Union after the Bolshevik revolution and learned all their commie tricks. Then they brought it back here and propagated throughout academia. They’ve had more than 100 years to perfect it and they’ve done one hell of a job.

    • blackjack

      If you choose a really big truth, and tell it often enough, these fucking propagandist lies will still drown it out.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    Moist is less offensive than Maoist.

    • Hyperion

      Not real communism. Only a Marxist Leninist Bolshevik can bring true utopia.

    • Trigger Hippie

      “Moist Maoist….mmmmm.”

      /Swalwell

      • Ownbestenemy

        This really deserves an applause…or ass slap gif. Whichever comes first.

      • Trigger Hippie

        So…if I cum to the ass slap gif I get a standing ovation?

  26. The Late P Brooks

    Larry Cosme, President of the Federal Law Enforcement Officers Association, which represents 30,000 federal officers and agents, said in a statement while the organization supports the vaccine it opposes compelling it.

    “Forcing people to undertake a medical procedure is not the American way and is a clear civil rights violation no matter how proponents may seek to justify it,” he said.

    Now if you’re talking about civilians, that’s a whole nuther conversation.

    • B.P.

      Hey. Show some respect. Federal law enforcement officers saved our democracy.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Seems the postal workers union came out in opposition as well.

      Methinks they may have fucked up with this mandate talk.

      • Ownbestenemy

        He still went forward with it though used the words “attest to their status”. I guess they could knock us for professional misconduct if we lie about it.

      • B.P.

        If they receive blowback, they can just lie and blame it on the opposition, like they did with defund the police. “Nuh uh. It was the Republicans who wanted it.”

  27. blackjack

    Fucking government invented the virus, created the horrific response tactics, fucked over the whole world in the process, enabled the invention of the vaccine, exempted the creators of it from liability, lied and cheated every step of the way and now, they are going to try and hold people down and force the needle in? Every last element of all of this nightmare is squarely their fault. I thought I hated government two years ago. I had no idea.

    • R C Dean

      I thought I hated government two years ago. I had no idea.

      *nods in agreement*

      • Ownbestenemy

        pretty soon we will have a gaggle of nodding heads

      • rhywun

        *joins in the fun*

      • Rebel Scum

        I am hearing a lot of sedition and insurrectionist talk out of you lot.

      • Hyperion

        What’d you expect from a right wing extremist shitlord?

      • Trigger Hippie

        Bobble-Head Night here at Glibs! First 10k fans through the gates get one free!….we’re going to have a lot of extras left over.

      • The Hyperbole

        I’m waiting for ten 10¢ beer night!

      • slumbrew

        So, dollar been night?

      • slumbrew

        *classic Slumbrew, spotting that ‘n’ after the button has been hit*

      • Ownbestenemy

        Always spottin’ the “n”….what a racist.

      • slumbrew

        The sheriff is n*gong*!

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Wait, I thought you were dead or turned into a 5G antenna.

    • Trigger Hippie

      And remember: You’re a stupid, irrational, dangerous extremist who must be silenced and ostracized if not outright eliminated if you don’t believe and limply go along with any and every little thing our betters have to say on the matter.

      We’re ruled by the evil.

  28. Rebel Scum

    IOW we will have mandates and lockdowns again because flu season will soon be upon us.

    “Well, because we listen to the scientists, we listened to the expert[s],” Principal Deputy Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre said. “This is a public health situation. This is not about politics at all. This is about saving lives. And this is what the president is all about. He wants to make sure that we are saving lives. If you look at … the last six months, that’s what he’s done, every day. And you see that in the numbers. Now we’re at a point where we have to double down and make it very, very clear to people that we can’t, we can’t let the pandemic win, we have to continue to fight.”

    “So, if you’re listening to the scientists, if scientists come to you at some point down the line and say, ‘It is our opinion that there should be shutdowns and there should be school closures,’ you would do that?” Doocy pressed.

    “Well, we listen to, like I said, we listen to the CDC and the expert[s] and their guidance … you know, the CDC is a body that is very well respected,” Jean-Pierre responded. “And again, we follow their [guidance].”

    1) Uh huh…
    2) I only listen to those people if they make a clear, coherent and cogent argument.

    • Hyperion

      Of course. Not sure how anyone did not see that coming.

    • prolefeed

      1) Someone who is literally a partisan hack hired to lie on the behalf of the administration says that the government planning to coerce people is not about politics …

      2) Argument from authority.

  29. kinnath

    I got the shot already. Give me some money!

    • Ownbestenemy

      He even addressed that in his breathy NPR tone. I am not too sure how this will end up but we are knee-deep in the bullshit and it seems to be getting deeper by the day.

  30. The Late P Brooks

    the CDC is a body that is very well respected

    indeed.

    • Hyperion

      Almost as much as the WHO. Experts, I tell you.

      • Ownbestenemy

        If someone were to disconnect every 3 months completely and only receive a transmission from the CDC every three months, they would have no fucking clue what their guidance was, because it has changed, by my counts, every quarter.

      • Hyperion

        I’d like to disconnect from this Matrix permanently, cut the cord you know.

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      Does Cindy Crawford’s middle name start with a D?

  31. Fatty Bolger

    I just realized that if there had been no pushback against the penaltax, they’d be using one right now to force people to get vaccinations.

    • Ownbestenemy

      +1 Robert’s Brocolli Arguement.

    • Hyperion

      If they try to take vax mandates to the court as unconstitutional, Roberts will invent the VaxTax.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Penalvax

        It’s like I have to do everything around here.

  32. Hyperion

    I have to tell you, this is the first I have heard about this boob and sock money crisis.

    I’m thinking more like ‘No sock money, sickos, we’ll accept boob money at our own discretion’.

    • R C Dean

      Boob money accepted if retrieved by the checkout attendant.

      “I’m goin’ in!”

  33. The Late P Brooks

    It wasn’t sweaty boob money, but I remember getting some mighty dirty looks from clerks in the summertime when I whipped out my wallet which was soaked from swimming in the lake to buy more gas for the ski boat and beer for the skiers.

      • Ownbestenemy

        BWAHAHAHA! Excellent….oh a black guy..come here…oh no! Not that type of black guy…

      • slumbrew

        That’s just great.

      • R C Dean

        The size of her . . . entourage is pretty impressive. How many people does it take to get her to and from her condo without some kind problem, anyway? Most people can manage it by themselves, but it looks she needs a team.

      • Raven Nation

        Eh, she and her team are convinced (perhaps partially correctly) that she’s a target. So, I would think a few extra security makes sense to them.

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        OMG I love that. Look at her rayciss ass assuming the black dude is a commie.

  34. The Late P Brooks

    Does that 100 bucks come with a waiver of all future rights and legal remedies?

    • slumbrew

      They already granted everyone involved full legal protection.

  35. slumbrew

    Since it is past 5 in the One True Timezone, I am having a cocktail.

    I’m on a Boulevardier kick (though I have no oranges for garnish). They are delicious.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Im happily drinking my seltzer…I need to raid the booze cabinet

      • slumbrew

        Boulevardiers are easy – just a rye/bourbon Negroni, basically – but if you don’t have Campari, you’re out of luck.

        I _just_ killed my bottle of Campari – that lasted well over a year.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I went with a flavored water + huckleberry vodka and lime

      • EvilSheldon

        Boulevardiers are great.

        If you like them, and since you’re bingo Campari, you should try a Vieux Carre.

    • Animal

      Since it is past 5 in the One True Timezone

      No, it’s only just past 1:00PM here.

      • Ted S.

        The only true time zone is UTC.

      • Ownbestenemy

        ^^^ looks down at the computer clock that has three time zones on it…everything I do is to UTC

      • slumbrew

        You are correct. That is why I have a “GMT” watch.

      • Ghostpatzer

        If only.

        Manager: Why is there a one hour gap in metrics every spring? And what’s with the spike every fall?
        Exasperated drone: Remember my recommendation about time zones? Didn’t think so.

      • slumbrew

        I want to smack everyone involved when I see a server in anything other than UTC.

        “But our software…!”. You can set the timezone per process, putz.

      • rhywun

        Our servers are all set to UTC… Universal Time of Cleveland.

    • Mojeaux

      Yes, yes it is now 5 in the One True Timezone.

      • Animal

        No, it’s only 2:00 here.

      • slumbrew

        You clock appears to still be wrong.

      • Animal

        Or yours is.

    • rhywun

      *joins in the fun*

    • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

      I’m on a Boulevardier kick (though I have no oranges for garnish). They are delicious.

      Your jib, sir; I like the cut of it.

  36. Sensei

    And do we really care?

    Woman With Only Recording of J.D. Salinger Will Take Tape to Grave

    I do, however, find it rather find it funny that my grandmother of all people gave me her copy of “Catcher in the Rye” to read when I was freshman in HS and staying with my grandparent’s for a week or so during summer vacation. Even in the early 80s I wouldn’t call the book that controversial.

    • Ghostpatzer

      I somehow aced freshman English without reading that, even though it was required. The two pages I managed to get through before putting it down were quite enough.

  37. Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

    The bag o’ cherries I got for my roasted balsamic cherry spread doesn’t have a weight on it. And my scale is broken.

    Is 2.6 cups in any way approximate to 600 grams, math nerds? I know weights & volumes aren’t the same thing blah blah. It’s not a sponge cake – I don’t need to be precise.

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        I went with 600 grams = 21 oz. 21/8 = 2.5

        4 cups is a big difference. I’ll have to check that site out

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        Fuckit..I’m-a just pit the dam things & roast ’em up and say the hell with it

      • blackjack

        You’re comparing apples to oranges cherries.

    • Sensei

      And it’s not even Japan’s best!

      Now it turns out the manufacturers can only distribute their latex-based condoms, while the ultra-thin models are made of polyurethane, according to the Japan Condoms Industrial Association.

      Japan condom-makers fear anticlimax at Olympics

      • Ghostpatzer

        “Anticlimax”. Well, I guess their plans have been ruined.

    • blackjack

      Would’ve expected her to prefer ribbed. Whatever floats her boat, I guess.

      • Ghostpatzer

        BOO!

      • Sean

        Yeah, that calls for a paddling.

      • blackjack

        I feel like you guys are trying to start a row over this.

    • Ghostpatzer

      Scandinavians are always ready, so I hear.

      • Ownbestenemy

        My wife agrees *wiggles eye brows*

      • Ghostpatzer

        Also my first-year Russian instructor in college. Brigitta, IIRC. I miss the days of “ban the bra”, the early ’70s were pretty cool.

    • Ownbestenemy

      This is why this site is the greatest place on the planet.

  38. Annoyed Nomad

    Re: my earlier comment about Ohio COVID Hospitalizations – there was a point last year when the Ohio’s version of Dr Fauci, Amy Acton, claimed that Ohio would need to TRIPLE hospital capacity in order to handle the surge of COVID patients. The actual numbers show that COVID patients (that is, patients WITH COVID) never went above 20% of Ohio’s hospital capacity.

    • Ownbestenemy

      I believe all governors have fudged those numbers

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Of course nobody ever goes back and questions their accuracy.

    • Ghostpatzer

      These are the same assholes who artificially reduced the number of hospital beds by requiring a “certificate of need” in order to build a new hospital. They did this for years, now there are not enough beds? Oh dear, what do we do now?

      If we ever actually run out of capacity we’re fucked thanks to central planners.

    • Ownbestenemy

      We are forever grateful

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      I… I… yeah, that’s some “upcycled fashion” right there.

    • Ghostpatzer

      * frantically applies eye bleach *

  39. slumbrew

    Baseball nerds: (paging Mr. Famous)

    By the numbers, should Schilling be in the Hall? If he doesn’t get in, is it politics or is he a marginal candidate?

  40. grrizzly

    The Boston Globe has an article about vaccinated people who got COVID-19.

    When her toddlers started to sniffle and develop fevers earlier this month, Jojo Jacobson, 36, assumed they had caught a cold. Then she started to feel exhausted and feverish, too.

    “I kept telling myself, this isn’t possible. I shouldn’t have this,” Jacobson said. She was vaccinated in April, and had continued to be “extra, extra cautious.”

    Soon, Jacobson found out that her nanny, who was also vaccinated, had an asymptomatic case of COVID-19. Still, Jacobson’s doctor reassured her that under the circumstances, it was unlikely she had contracted the virus.

    “When the tests came back positive, I couldn’t be in denial anymore that what I was experiencing was real,” Jacobson said. “I took my temperature and sure enough, I had a fever. I was pretty devastated and just collapsed into bed.”

    Jacobson had a fever and significant fatigue for the next two days, and experienced regular cold symptoms — including congestion and a cough — for four or five more.

    “I wasn’t totally debilitated. I could get out of bed, I could make myself a cup of tea and some soup, and I was grateful for that,” she said. “It’s not the worst cold or flu I’ve ever had in my life, but I was definitely, definitely sick.”

    She also lost her sense of smell, and hasn’t regained it. To not even be able to smell garlic, she said, has been one the most disorienting things she’s ever experienced.

    “I never in a million years would have thought that our household would have gotten COVID after vaccination,” she said. “It seemed so far-fetched.”

    For now, Jacobson plans to continue to wear a mask — indoors and outdoors — and avoid crowds.

    • slumbrew

      Jacobson had a fever and significant fatigue for the next two days, and experienced regular cold symptoms — including congestion and a cough — for four or five more.

      Oh noes.

      For now, Jacobson plans to continue to wear a mask — indoors and outdoors — and avoid crowds.

      I have been repeated assured that wearing a mask protects other people, not yourself. So, why?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Rejoice! You’re actually immune now!

    • Ownbestenemy

      We have successfully mainlined Hypochondriasis

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      “I never in a million years would have thought that our household would have gotten COVID after vaccination,” she said. “It seemed so far-fetched.”

      Those are the breaks lady. Sounds like they oversold these vaxes just a little bit.

    • R C Dean

      Sounds like she was a good little Branch Covidian, too – “continued to be “extra, extra cautious” and, of course, will continue doing what has already failed – “Jacobson plans to continue to wear a mask — indoors and outdoors — and avoid crowds”.

      Clearly, someone who has been vaccinated and followed all the precautions, and still got the ‘Vid, is in a good position to tell us we should get vaccinated and follow all the precautions so we don’t catch the ‘Vid.

      • Ownbestenemy

        The Bee had that one pegged earlier this week. I am sure they are the messiah.

      • slumbrew

        The number of people around here suddenly wearing masks again while just walking around is shocking to me.

        We went to the beach Monday – dude walked by with his two little kids, all masked up. This is on a 90-degree day with a stiff breeze.

        Child abuse.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        A coworker has the same story. Fully vaxxed, still masking. Still got covid. NBD so far.

        It’s not really making me want to change my mind of the vaccine.

  41. Gustave Lytton

    Prediction: compromise will be no official fedgov mandate while vaccines are licensed under EUA. FDA will expedite paperwork already submitted and give full approval which will make the EUA objection moot.

    • Sensei

      Yeah, recent news has been setting the groundwork for exactly that.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Yep which is why fixating on EUA was a mistake.

      • Gustave Lytton

        That’s why utilitarian opposition to covid has been flawed all along. But principled arguments fall on deaf ears for the vast majority of the public and aren’t as satisfying as gotcha ones.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Probably not that far off…but they will have to square away the blood-borne illness article and the government’s rights/restrictions on what they can and cannot ask. In otherwords, a whole lot of renegotiating will be taking place before any FedGov is mandated to get it.

    • slumbrew

      Abortions vaccinations for some, miniature American flags for others all!

      • R C Dean

        I think that’s “Vaccinations for all, miniature American flags for none, because they’re racist.”

      • slumbrew

        Thank you, I’m sure you are correct.

      • Drake

        The abortions seem to be a free extra benefit for pregnant women who get vaccinated.

    • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

      I’m curious to see if it forces the admin to use some anti-union rhetoric. That would be delicious.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Know what is delicious, we didn’t experience any anti-union rhetoric (at least in my corner of the world) when Trump was in office. They howled at Obama. So again, who is it that hates workers?

      • slumbrew

        Union bigwigs will get suitable recompense and things will be smoothed out.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Oh also…I have to uninvite you to our ATC. Apparently, unless it is mission essential, I cannot authorize visits. So….you work for L3? Contract for Raytheon?

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        Yes. Definitely that’s where I work.

      • R C Dean

        What a pack of idiots. They have a unionized workforce, and don’t settle things with the unions before announcing new work requirements?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Young dumb idiot staffers with zero real world experience. Their interactions are coming cktaio parties, begging endorsements, and maybe two years in a GTA union.

      • Ted S.

        I didn’t know Grand Theft Auto has its own union.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Stop reminding me of the inevitable.

  42. Count Potato

    ““Black Widow” star Scarlett Johansson is suing Disney, claiming that her contract was breached when the Mouse House released the superhero flick on its Disney+ streaming service at the same time it hit movie theaters.

    Johansson’s lawsuit claims that her contract with Disney’s Marvel Entertainment guaranteed that the movie blockbuster would premiere exclusively in theaters and that her salary was based largely on how well the movie performed at the box office, according to a report from the Wall Street Journal.

    Citing anonymous sources, the Journal said the decision to put “Black Widow” on Disney+ is likely to cost Johansson more than $50 million.

    “Disney intentionally induced Marvel’s breach of the agreement, without justification, in order to prevent Ms. Johansson from realizing the full benefit of her bargain with Marvel,” said the suit, which was filed in Los Angeles Superior Court on Thursday.

    In a statement late Thursday, Disney hit back, saying there was “no merit” to Johansson’s legal salvo, and that it “is especially sad and distressing in its callous disregard for the horrific and prolonged global effects of the COVID-19 pandemic.”

    “Disney has fully complied with Ms. Johansson’s contract and furthermore, the release of Black Widow on Disney+ with Premier Access has significantly enhanced her ability to earn additional compensation on top of the $20M she has received to date,” the company added.”

    https://nypost.com/2021/07/29/scarlett-johansson-sues-disney-over-black-widow-streaming-release/

    I thought it was boring.

    • blackjack

      At least she didn’t have to blow Harvey Wienstien…this time.

    • Ted S.

      “is especially sad and distressing in its callous disregard for the horrific and prolonged global effects of the COVID-19 pandemic.”

      Fuck you Disney. Contracts still matter.

      • R C Dean

        Two thoughts:

        Gratuitously insulting one of your stars in public is probably not a good plan.

        Sticking that into their reply smells like weakness to me. I’d be pleased if I were her lawyer.

      • blackjack

        Meh. Lawyers have been winning big with the whole covid thing. They’ll throw anything they can into these briefs. All it takes is one item that hits home and they have a winner. Can you say, “twinkie defense?” Judges and juries are supposed to be smarter, but often, they ain’t.

      • R C Dean

        Lawyers have been winning big with the whole covid thing.

        They have?

        I know us boardroom types have been putting in extra time trying to keep up with the flailing of multiple government agencies, but the plaintiffs’ bar still hasn’t figured out how to make money off this, as far as I know.

      • blackjack

        Criminal defense. Lotta people got out early because of the threat of the Chinavirus. A lot. Pay no attention to the rising crime rates. That’s because of guns, obvs.

      • R C Dean

        Got it. I don’t know how much the lawyers had to do with that, though.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        The CLE providers and the usual suspects who are constantly massaging the left’s balls in the the most public of ways have been busy with covid. DEI is still an order of magnitude more present, IME.

      • B.P.

        Scarlett Johannson, grandma murderer.

      • Animal

        Still would, though.

    • creech

      I had no idea actors could make this kind of money for one film. The customers approve and freely give her their money. That’s cool. But some dude invents something, builds up his company, goes public, employs thousands of folks, ….he’s some sort of exploiter and should be taxed and regulated to death.

  43. Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

    My in-laws’ neighbor passed away about a day after getting the Pfizer vaccine. Vaccine defenders have pointed out that maybe he had comorbidities, which apparently matter in regard to the vaccine but not the virus. I’m not anti-vax, and I’ve received this vaccine, but I can certainly understand why people are willing to take their chances with the virus.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Blood clots or some other vascular issue?

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        Heart attack, I think.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Yep, vaccine

        Sorry to hear that, but the vaccine is totes safe and I don’t know why anyone would think otherwise.

      • Count Potato

        I know you are against the vaccine, but I haven’t read anything that it causes heart attacks. Figure heart disease is the #1 cause of death. When I worked on an ambulance, it was second to trauma. So it’s like those couple of people who died at 1/6. You get enough people getting the vaccine, some of them are going to die from common causes of death.

      • blackjack

        Well, there’s hundreds of millions of people with every combination of things wrong with them. If somebody has a weakness and they have to suffer through the known list of side effects from the vax, that could be the final nail. There’s no way to account for every individual and whatever ails them. If the vax was the deciding factor, it was the vax. Maybe that guy would’ve ambled along with his ailments for another who knows how long and the drag down that the vax admittedly can cause just pushed him over the edge. That’s the standard for criminal cases.

      • slumbrew

        Maybe that guy would’ve ambled along with his ailments for another who knows how long and the drag down that the vax admittedly can cause just pushed him over the edge.

        Or maybe not. That’s the rub.

        Post hoc ergo propter hoc still applies.

      • blackjack

        And the burden of proof seems like it ought to be on the side doling out unproven meds. If I take some huge chances and it goes wrong, how successful would I be if I claimed the bad results were all up to chance?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That is the issue. The rules of evidence have been completely altered for these vaccines in their favor, and made almost impossible for any of the off patent therapeutics .

      • slumbrew

        And the burden of proof seems like it ought to be on the side doling out unproven meds.

        That’s a reasonable position.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Just anti these vaccines

        It may well be coincidence but I’ll bet money it doesn’t end up in VAERS as it should.

      • PutridMeat

        True, in a population that large, there will be coincidental death. For me, from the risk-benefit perspective (i.e. ignoring the ethical side of requiring vaccines), on the risk side is not necessarily that you can find examples of people that died from relatively common ailments after receiving the vax. As you say, statistically likely. It’s the fact that there seems to be lots of people that die or suffer effects of clots, vascular issues that are not in a population that you’d normally expect those issues. So it’s not just (prevalence of effect averaged over population)*(Number of people vaxed), but there’s a factor in there for how common those effects are in the population they are appearing. Totally anecdotal, but it seems to me that there is a higher occurrence in certain populations than one would expect in the background for that population. Additionally, the huge increase in VAERS reports around the vaccine are troubling. Now VAERs has it’s issues and can in no way be used to associate the vaccine with problems on it’s own. But those problems with the system have been there for years, so in a relative sense, it does mean there’s something that should be looked into. One has to control/normalize for the number of vaccines, but my understanding is that the number of Covid vaccines administered does not account for the large uptick in VAERs reports. Grain of salt, YMMV, LGBQT.

      • westernsloper

        Now VAERs has it’s issues
        Do you mean the part where VAERS catches a very small percentage of adverse effects and deaths?

  44. KSuellington

    Luckily most of those signs are just about summertime moist bills. I can still safely use my jock and sock wallets in the other three seasons.

    Moist.

    • Animal

      You’re now qualified for your Moister’s Degree.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Look moister, you are really starting to get on my nerves.

      • Animal

        I hope you can moister up a stronger rebuttal than that.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Our conversation has moistly become a point of contention and I cannot moister myself to come up with anything more.

      • KSuellington

        They moistly come out at night…moistly.

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      Why don’t people like the word moist? I had a boss who couldn’t stand it.

      • slumbrew

        Are there any guys who have an issue with it? 100% female, in my experience.

      • The Hyperbole

        And is it just Moist? do they have also a problem with joist or hoist or foist?

      • KSuellington

        I am probably in the “moist” averse group, it just sounds icky. I think it is the bodily function association combined with the puckering your lips make when you pronounce the “it” sound followed by the “s”.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Fine.. let’s use swampy then.

      • KSuellington

        Swampy is an absolutely cromulent replacement.

  45. slumbrew

    First attempt at a reverse-sear underway.

    Wish me luck.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Better have that grill at 600 dude

    • Sean

      Hipster.

      • slumbrew

        TBF, I’m only doing this because the local place was out of propane. Which is some bullshit.

      • Sean

        That is some bullshit. Good luck.

        Watch out for steak thieves.

      • slumbrew

        https://ibb.co/yYPcKCB

        The lack of defensive weaponry is not Sean approved, but I hope it otherwise passes muster.

      • slumbrew

        Minor correction: that is a 24 oz. Prime ribeye, not 20 oz.

      • Sean

    • R C Dean

      Missing critical details.

      What are you packing for this mission?

      • slumbrew

        20 oz. Prime boneless ribeye, in the oven at 250°, probe thermometer set to go off at 115°.

        Cast iron pan at the ready, to be made smoking-hot right before the steak comes out. Chuck of butter will be at the ready as well.

        Following the guidance of Kenji.

      • slumbrew

        Oh, and I just popped a 2018 pinot noir. Not sure that’s relevant. But still.

      • R C Dean

        Sounds promising, but what are you packing? Prime boneless ribeye requires protection, no?

      • slumbrew

        I’m in Mass, dude.

        *hangs head in shame, kicks rock*

      • R C Dean

        *sheds single manly tear for slumbrew*

      • slumbrew

        I have a 60 lb staffie – does that count? She’s a gigantic scaredy-cat, but strangers don’t know that.

      • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

        I read that as 60-pound stiffie, and thought “whoa, d00d, that’s heinous.”

      • EvilSheldon

        I sympathize with your Massholish-ness. But I can’t forgive you for not having at least a cheap shotgun.

        When you think about it, shotguns have a lot going for them. Massive stopping power, cheap, legal almost everywhere, easier to practice with in most places, and buckshot loads can’t be ballistically matched to any particular gun. And the empty shells are much larger and easier to find than pistol or rifle cases.

        The steak sounds awesome though!

      • slumbrew

        But I can’t forgive you for not having at least a cheap shotgun.

        I’ll have you know I would have an expensive shotgun!

        My neighbors are so very close that a shotgun and suitable load is the only reasonable option to avoid over-penetration, I think.

        In truth, it wasn’t important to me up until the last few years. Now it is.

        It would be a major, major issue with the wife. I have changed, she has not.

        It’s an issue.

      • EvilSheldon

        Take up sporting clays. It’s like golf with shotguns, except that golf is lame and miserable, and sporting clays is happy and fun and totally non-threatening. It’s a great way to get a foot in the gun culture door…

  46. Count Potato

    “If you got vaccinated and have to wear a mask, it’s not because you got vaccinated. It’s because your neighbors didn’t.

    Until we have a vaxx for 12 and under and enough vaccinated ppl to protect the vulnerable, the responsible folks, including school children, are going to be punished for other people’s mistakes.

    That’s the reality. Let’s be very up front about who is to blame.”

    https://twitter.com/amandacarpenter/status/1420714438068473864

    Punish children for not being susceptible to the virus?

    • R C Dean

      So not approving the vacks for kids is in the bucket with “other people’s mistakes”? I don’t see any other way to read it.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I just read it as arrogant stupidity.

    • R C Dean

      enough vaccinated ppl to protect the vulnerable

      No offense, but if the vulnerable won’t protect themselves from this disease, I don’t see why I should have to.

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      I thought the mask was to protect others from you. If you are vaccinated, you shouldn’t have to wear a mask, unless the vaccine doesn’t work.

      • R C Dean

        “My mask protects you, and your mask protects me.”

        *pauses for retching to cease*

        They have a failed study that they claim shows people with the vacks have 1,000 times the viral load of the Unclean, and so are super-infectious. I dunno about you, but “1,000 times the viral load” sounds to me like a hell of a good reason to avoid the vacks, but somehow its a reason to take it.

      • Count Potato

        I think it’s bullshit. If someone had “1,000 times the viral load” they would not be asymptomatic.

    • EvilSheldon

      Shut Up, Karen.

    • Count Potato

      Holy shit, those are just awful by any criteria.

      • slumbrew

        Those are, indeed, dogshit.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      What an asshole, not a particularly good artist either.

      • Hyperion

        He went to the Samantha Bee school of comedy.

      • blackjack

        A hooker, a priest and a rabbi went into a bar…and none of them were democrats!

    • Nephilium

      Not enough labels.

    • Hyperion

      “by Jonathan Schmock”

      I think we can definitely pronounce that Jonathan ‘Schmuck’.

  47. R C Dean

    Welp, off to abuse a bunch of doctors who want us to give up the noncompetes we negotiated a year ago so they can refinance a loan.

    They can’t do it without our consent, and aren’t willing to give us anything in return. I pointed out to my boss that there is no one better qualified to, or who would get more enjoyment from, telling them to piss off. So I get to do it rather than our real estate guy.

    *cracks knuckles*

    • slumbrew

      You are a cruel, cruel man. ?

      I need to bring you with me next time I go car shopping.

    • Sensei

      That’s great. Hope they are better docs than negotiators.

      Also don’t employ their counsel for outside use…

    • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

      The auroras aren’t very strong tonight, but it’s possible they could be visible at peak darkness. They’re centered right over Iceland right now

  48. Tulip

    We have to start wearing masks at work again and I am pissed. How about a Thursday Zoom to vent about this shit? Starts at 8pm Eastern.

    • Ownbestenemy

      maybe…..

      • Gustave Lytton

        Only if masks are required?

    • rhywun

      I haven’t heard anything about New Jersey but I assume it’s coming… because New Jersey.

      Luckily I can WFH and I will continue to do so. “Sorry, I’m scared to come in.”

  49. rhywun

    If it prevents just one suicide…

    I am reminded of my high school that plexiglassed off its 2nd and 3rd floor vestibules just in case. Because walking around in a stuffy warren is so much better than classic old architecture and individual responsibility is passé anyway.

  50. limey

    Let’s do a thought experiment:

    Moist pizza
    Moist potato chips
    Moist chair
    Moist hat
    Moist shoes
    Moist cat
    Moist piano
    Moist electrical outlet
    Moist C Lydian scale
    Moist helicopter
    Moist fireplace
    Moist Monopoly® board
    Moist holodeck

    “What do you think about when I’m blowing you?”

    “Fishing?”

    This evening. Well.

    • Animal

      Well, that was a moisterful effort.

    • rhywun

      Moist brow.

      It’s humid as fuck tonight.

      And I possess the world’s stupidest A/C unit which can only be operated by remote control – and that just stopped working. The on-board choices include “On” and “Off”.

      “On”, please.

      • limey

        Did you check the thermostat? Failing that, there may be a problem with one or more of the bio-neural gel packs regulating life support in your section, for which you will have to put in a maintenance order with engineering. There are no special favors on my ship, Ensign Rhywun.

  51. Gadfly

    Vatican vexed to discover gay hookup app Grindr being used in the Holy See.

    While the salacious implication that it’s being used by priests, bishops, and maybe even the pope is entertaining, the fact that the Vatican has many other employees, the Swiss Guard, and a Museum open to the public kind of throws cold water on this story.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Yeah, everyone knows they’re on CuriaOnly and Altarservr, not Grindr.

      • limey

        Hehe

    • limey

      Shh. You must ignore and draw all attention away from the cottaging tourists. It doesn’t fit the overall narrative that is used somehow to contextualize and excuse sociopaths burning churches in Canada? Something like that?

      Also all present day Catholics are somehow directly responsible, and must take blame for the actions of Tomás de Torquemada and his successors, or something?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        *insert Mel Brooks here *

  52. Derpetologist

    presented without comment

    https://www.thecollegefix.com/west-virginia-university-librarian-saying-lesbians-are-going-extinct-is-the-latest-form-of-transphobia/

    ***
    This has led to a number of lesbian feminists decrying the loss of old-school lesbian culture. The theory, based on the Gallup numbers, is that young people who, in the past, would have identified as lesbians, are now coming out as nonbinary or transgender.

    “As more masculine-bent women — lesbians, in particular — are transitioning to men, the lesbian community as a whole is shrinking,” wrote feminist Aimee Anderson in her 2015 article “The Death of the Lesbian.”

    “With new gains, there is loss. I care about the extinction of an entire people: lesbians,” Anderson wrote.

    But West Virginia University humanities librarian Lynne Stahl (pictured), writing in The Washington Post, accused those worried about the loss of lesbian culture of “transphobia,” accusing them of echoing racist argument techniques.

    “As a lesbian researcher of tomboyism trained in queer theory, I find claims like these at once absurd and frightening,” Stahl wrote. “Extinction anxieties have long fueled nationalist, fascist and white-supremacist movements and often beget eugenicist agendas.”

    “Lesbians face daily adversity on political and cultural fronts,” added Stahl, “but attributing our fears to the growing trans population dangerously redirects attention from the institutions that actually harm us. Anti-trans groups are simply repurposing the rhetoric of extinction and contagion that drove 20th-century homophobia.”

    Stahl notes the contemporary notion that lesbians are being “seduced” into transmasculinity “similarly reflects a belief that individuals can think their way into trans identification and should therefore think their way out of it. In this view, that is, gender identity is ‘just a phase’ — a dismissal every LGBTQ person is sadly familiar with.”

    In large part, Stahl’s essay is a refutation of a piece by Katie Herzog called “Where Have All the Lesbians Gone?” which sets up the trans-vs.-traditional lesbian dispute.
    ***

    • Ownbestenemy

      “Where Have All the Lesbians Gone?” is the name of my sex tape

      • Hyperion

        That’s a good tune, haven’t heard it in a long time.

      • Hyperion

        Where have all the cowboys gone.

        They’re all cowgirls now? Trained properly in cowgirl queer theory though.

    • blackjack

      Just like the dinosaurs, in general, and the lickalottapus specifically.

    • rhywun

      I think the lesbians have a valid complaint here. There’s plenty of anecdotal evidence that much of the “trans” phenomenon is activists convincing a lot of confused young people that “being” the opposite sex is better or more natural or whatever than being gay.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It is, and it’s sick. They’re turning a behavioral preference into full blown identity crises and encouraging self mutilation either through surgery or hormone treatments.

      • Hyperion

        Activists. They’re not fun or happy people. In fact they are the most annoying and at the same time, the most miserable people ever. And misery loves company, so they try to spread the misery like the plague.

      • blackjack

        But, what does it matter to a lesbian? She likes chicks. As long as there’s a chick for her, who cares what the rainbow haired kids are doing with their strange new alphabet?

      • Hyperion

        If they aren’t with the rainbow haired kids, they’re against them, basically right wing extremists. Who wants to be that? Silence is violence. I mean they may as well kidnap the rainbow kids and take them to Tucker Calson’s house.

      • rhywun

        Because the activists are shrinking the pool of chicks to choose from.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      “As a lesbian researcher of tomboyism trained in queer theory“

      We’re surrounded by imbeciles that think they’re Carl Jung.

      • Hyperion

        “tomboyism trained in queer theory”

        Profound.

    • Hyperion

      My advice to the poor lesbian victims here is, try to just enjoy life instead of making every fucking thing about politics.

    • Suthenboy

      I thought I would check in before going to bed. What a mistake.

      Pray for SMOD to erase retardation.