Um…Links?

by | Jul 8, 2021 | Daily Links | 450 comments

 

We have it all under control. Really. Here are some links.

  1. Link (“Fweedom”)
  2. Link (“War”)
  3. Link (“banned soon”)

There…happy now?

About The Author

Glib Staff

Glib Staff

450 Comments

  1. grrizzly

    The Biden junta finally feels secure in DC.

    • Tonio

      Well, they have started to push woke BS upon the military.

  2. Count Potato

    “During the rioting, dozens of Capitol Police officers were hurt and officer Brian Sicknick was killed as attackers vandalized the building and made their way into the chamber where lawmakers were certifying the Electoral College vote.”

    OFFS!!

    • Rat on a train

      There were no survivors.

    • Gustave Lytton

      If they had succeeded in reading the magic words from the floor of the house chamber, OMB would have been declared president for life. He planned to declare marshal law and execute the surviving congresspersons.

      • Rat on a train

        klaatu barada necktie?

    • Tonio

      They’re never going to let the Sicknick martyrdom narrative go.

      • Ownbestenemy

        And from what I can tell the family is sick of it. Though I am guessing some perks and monies are being offered to back their story

      • Tonio

        Is the girlfriend still trying to cash in?

      • Chafed

        It’s pretty disgusting. It’s unfortunate the guy died. The timing is odd. But the autopsy made clear why he died. The party of SCIENCE! isn’t a fan when it doesn’t support them.

    • rhywun

      UPI flat-out lying here.

      Nice look.

  3. Count Potato

    Who do think would win between Godzilla and China?

  4. Sensei

    Plus thanks to the U.S.–Japan Status of Forces Agreement Japan just writes the checks on our bank account. Sigh…

  5. Count Potato

    “Stormy Daniels’ disgraced lawyer Michael Avenatti is sentenced to 2.5 years in prison for trying to shake down Nike for $25M after issuing a tearful apology saying ‘I betrayed my profession’ ”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9769795/Michael-Avenatti-sentenced-2-5-years-prison-Nike-extortion.html

    Remember the tongue bath he got from the media? That he could be the next President? This shit?

    https://www.vogue.com/article/stormy-daniels-interview-michael-cohen-donald-trump

    • Sensei

      I’m willing he wasn’t disbarred until this very second.

      • Count Potato

        wow

    • Chafed

      I don’t believe a word of his apology.

      • R C Dean

        “I’m sorry I got caught. But that’s about it, really.”

      • Chafed

        You got it.

    • Count Potato

      I saw that yesterday. What the fuck is that about?

      • Tonio

        Smug triumphalism. Which is going to backfire, badly, just as it always has.

      • Count Potato

        That’s sort of what I thought.

        Unfortunately, political movements rarely stop after they win.

      • Drake

        Doing right ain’t got no end.

      • Chafed

        Smug is the right word.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      Pray the gay in?

      • Ownbestenemy

        All I could think of what this NSFW – language and Peaches.

    • Chafed

      That is one creepy video. It’s so fantastically stupid. The gay community, I’m thinking of Andrew Sullivan in particular, put in a lot of time and effort to dispel stigmas like gays are pedophiles. These idiots trot in to undo all that work.

      • rhywun

        It helps to keep in mind that the only homos you see in the news any more are the most radical fringe types. The same types who have taken over every organization that claims to “represent” them.

      • limey

        Yeah, and I’d guess most people are aware that these people bear little resemblance to the gay people they know IRL, which leads me to a thought I had the other day about THE GREAT RESET. The more you can keep people at home and isolated from normal, spontaneous, diverse interactions, the more you can control their perception of the world via the 24/7 relentless barrage of propaganda. When people go out and have productive, positive, voluntary, spontaneous interaction with other people, they probably feel a whole lot better than being couped up in their homes being conditioned to think that “those people” are bad.

      • rhywun

        Yup. Lots of people are literally terrified to go out in public now.

    • limey

      So they want to evangelise sexual orientation? I am confuse. Even THE SCIENCE would say that’s not how it works, Shirley?

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        You know who else evangelized something they were born with?

      • Count Potato

        Lady Gaga?

      • Spudalicious

        Tommy?

      • C. Anacreon

        Evangeline Lilly?

      • Gadfly

        So they want to evangelise sexual orientation? I am confuse. Even THE SCIENCE would say that’s not how it works, Shirley?

        In fairness, I do think that sexual preference can be massaged in one direction or the other. Not saying that fully straight people can be made gay or that fully gay people can be made straight, but I think a very large portion of the populace is somewhere in between the two ends of the spectrum and that these people can probably be moved in one direction or the other by social pressure.

      • Animal

        That’s likely. Behavior, as an aspect of biology, is really complex and has all sorts of fuzzy edges. I’m pretty much a zero on the Kinsey scale, but I know plenty of folks ranging from one to six.

        And as I’ve always said, I don’t really give a shit what anyone does, as long as they leave me alone.

    • R C Dean

      I want to say its satire, a “clapback” (retch) against the old “homos are pedos” slur.

      But honestly, I’m not sure. Maybe that makes it really good satire, I dunno.

    • The Other Kevin

      Trump did worse. PEOPLE STAYED IN HIS HOTELS!

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        I don’t have a problem with scrutinizing the possible vectors for corruption for Trump. Booking a block of rooms at his hotels at inflated rates for the duration of his presidency would be a clever way launder some bribes. Likewise giving sweetheart deals to his kids. Or book deals for that matter. What pisses me off is how the media hyperventilates about things that could happen with Trump and look the other way with things that have happened and are happening with Biden.

      • wdalasio

        I get your point. And I’d say it’s something that deserves scrutiny. That said, a good portion of the media was outright saying that owning the hotel properties in itself constituted an impermissible conflict of interest. Sorry, but no. That would effectively mean that nobody outside of government could ever legitimately hold high office. If you’re a private industrialist there’s always the ability of some outside party to purchase your product.

    • Animal

      From the story:

      Neither Hunter nor the White House would know who the buyers are, in an effort to prevent special treatment.

      Yeah. And I’m the fucking Queen of Denmark.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Hilsen min dronning

      • Chafed

        Good afternoon your majesty. Please ignore the social media post from this lobbyist who bought one of Hunter Biden’s paintings.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      Yep, no way Hunter Biden would ever be able to know who bought his paintings and know what was expected of him/his father.

  6. The Late P Brooks

    Patties.

    • limey

      The caption says shotgun, but that is clearly a bullet. See, I know a little bit about firearms, but only enough to know that I know nothing at all.

  7. Animal

    Link (“War”)

    My grandparents saw the Great War. My parents were young adults through World War 2. I’m afraid I’m going to live to see World War 3.

    • Tonio

      Alaska is looking better every day.

      • Animal

        There’s a house for sale just down the road, Tonio.

      • rhywun

        It’s a (bear) trap!

      • Ownbestenemy

        Tonio doesn’t mind.

      • zwak

        OK, I LOLed.

    • Sean

      1-888-4VAULT-TEC

      • Gadfly

        I think I’ll take my chances with the Nukes. Those Vault dwellers didn’t seem to fare too well, on average.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      I’m not going to see it as my eyeballs would be fried out of my skull.

  8. Count Potato

    “An American is among the six ‘assassins’ who have been arrested while another seven unidentified suspects have been killed over the murder of Haiti President Jovenel Moïse who was riddled with 12 bullet holes and had his eye gouged out during the brutal attack.

    James Solages, a US citizen of Haitian descent, was taken into custody over Wednesday’s early morning raid on Moïse’s mansion in the hills above Port-au-Prince, Haiti, with high-powered rifles, Haiti’s Minister of Elections and Inter-party Relations Mathias Pierre told the Washington Post.

    Pierre said at least one of the suspects arrested is believed to be a Haitian American. He did not detail their alleged connection to the assassination.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9769109/Haiti-president-Jovenel-Mo-ses-body-riddled-12-bullets-eye-gouged-out.html

    • B.P.

      Does this mean Haiti is going to bomb us or something?

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        No, they are going to tell us that our father smelt of elderberries and they will fart in our general direction in broken French.

    • Winston

      Time for a Revival of the Emperor Jones?

    • The Other Kevin

      Was it a Hunter Biden painting?

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        I dunno, it does not seem like there was any incest. I would think that instructions from a Hunter Biden painting would include incest.

    • Agent Cooper

      Had ’em throwin’ a party for a bunch of children
      While all the while the slime was under the building
      So they packed up their group, got a grip, came equipped
      Grabbed their proton packs off their back and they split
      Found about Vigo, the master of evil
      Try to battle my boys? That’s not legal

    • grrizzly

      I’m surprised the numbers are so low. A large majority of Britons don’t go to nightclubs ever. Why would they care if something they don’t value is banned?

      • rhywun

        Plus, have you seen a clutch of drunk Brits?

      • Swiss Servator

        Yes….last time was in Amsterdam. *brrrrr*

      • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

        I must admit that they were particularly annoying in Amsterdam. The ones on Crete, for some reason, weren’t quite as grating on my nerves.

      • zwak

        Are you sure they weren’t Cretins?

  9. The Late P Brooks

    During the rioting, dozens of Capitol Police officers were hurt and officer Brian Sicknick was killed as attackers vandalized the building and made their way into the chamber where lawmakers were certifying the Electoral College vote.

    Trump was impeached for a second time for inciting the insurrection for whipping up the crowd of supporters and telling them to go to the Capitol and “fight like hell” to overturn the results of the election.

    Shameless.

  10. Winston

    Haiti has had 5 coups since Baby Doc was ousted. Not exactly a stable country even before this assassination…

    • The Hyperbole

      Aren’t you supposed to tie this into the failure of free trade somehow?

      • Chafed

        … and cosmotarians.

      • KSuellington

        It’s the cosmotarian voodoo contingent that has remained silent about this assassination.

      • zwak

        Hey, there was a walkout at Voodoo doughnuts!

        Coincidence? I think not!

      • pistoffnick

        Funny/interesting how the eastern half of the island of Hispanola seems fairly stable. (and sends its best baseball players)

    • mrfamous

      You can increase your wages 100 fold if you refer to them in cents instead of dollars.

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      That is a galaxy brain take right there.

      They have to be convinced that their audience is composed of drooling morons.

      • Animal

        They have to be convinced that their audience is composed of drooling morons.

        To be fair, that’s probably a pretty safe bet.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        It would seem that there has been an deflationary IQ trend

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      If there’s an actual upside, it’s that you can pay your debt with inflated dollars, not rising wages.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        As if overconsumption isn’t already incentivized too much…

        Why bother saving when your pile shrinks by the day, gets taxed like you don’t deserve it, and savings vehicles are offering laughable returns?

      • DrOtto

        *looks at most recent bank statement showing $0.67 interest paid against a $5.00 service fee just for having an account* What were we talking about now?

  11. The Late P Brooks

    The Upside to Inflation: Rising Wages

    And yet- you’re still living paycheck to paycheck.

    It’s inexplicable.

    • Winston

      Big Covid is here to stay…

    • db

      On the viewing glass
      Famous doctor shows his ass
      “Shame, Shame, Wear Your Mask!”
      Come inside, come inside!

  12. Winston

    So does anyone think a Chinese invasion of Taiwan in the near future is a real possibility? Would the US intervene?

    • Ownbestenemy

      As it stands we dont have to act but should act under the treaty. Will we of should we? Who knows.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Possible? Yes. Likely? No. See Hong Kong. Better to undermine it than invade.

      • Sensei

        Yup. I think Taiwan took note of HK.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Yeah, if there was any possibility of a true One China, it died two years ago. They’d also be stupid not to see what the West did about HK (not that there was really anything they could do either).

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      I’m sure we would issue a sternly worded demarche.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Cue John Kerry triumphantly waving a piece of paper and proclaiming, “Peace for our time.”

      • B.P.

        While James Taylor plays “You’ve Got a Friend” in the background.

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      Naval and air intervention: Likely.
      Ground intervention: Less likely, aside from possibly air defense assets.

      The question would be would the CCP further escalate upon our intervention and lob some ordnance at Japan or the ROK.

      • Animal

        Ground intervention: Less likely, aside from possibly air defense assets.

        And if it does happen, will likely consist of a bunch of lard-assed, purple-haired Public Relations types going in to deliver a stern lecture to our allies on diversity and inclusion.

      • Ownbestenemy

        This was proven by the post last links with the Navy. My Air Force is definitely not excluded here…so we will scare them into submission.

      • Animal

        Yeah. I mentioned here that I’m afraid I’m going to live to see World War 3, and while I am, what I’m terrified of is that we’ll probably lose.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        We could parachute in some BLM/CRT activists. Lord knows they’ve done enough damage in the west.

      • B.P.

        As I understand it, during WW I, after the Germans successfully unleashed Lenin on Russia, the whole thing boomeranged when the Marx virus started tearing through the German trenches. German high command was doing all it could to get the rank and file to shut up about the burdens of the proletarian soldiers, keeping them away from proselytizing Russian prisoners, etc.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        They did. Friggin Germans.

    • R C Dean

      No way to know if when China would will try to invade Taiwan.

      If they do, I think its unlikely we will honor our treaty “obligations”. Under this administration? Absolutely no way.

      I think the Japanese statement was a warning to the Chinese about China’s general regional uppityness. And China, I am sure, is well aware that if Japan doesn’t have nukes now, it could in six months.

      Besides, the last time China and Japan got into a war, the Chinese got their asses handed to them.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      The whole thing is seems solvable by selling Taiwan a couple Ohio class subs. It’ll work like Cuba in reverse.

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      Well there’s that guy who filmed the shooting of Ashley Babbit for one.

    • Chafed

      +1 Mia Love

    • zwak

      I know there are a ton of Samoans in SLC.

      • Animal

        Is it true that you’re Samoan if somebody loves you?

      • Not Adahn

        You’re no one until Samoan loves you

    • Sean

      Kids are the worst.

    • Tonio

      “the only way you can wash the blood off your hands…”

      Fuck those people.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        Not a cult at all.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Why do I get a feel that the site is a big troll?

      The Gazi Strip. Mao/Sankara /Che levels of membership….submit your ideas/propaganda?

      • Chafed

        I can’t tell if it’s a troll or a clever grift.

      • Not Adahn

        Absolutely a grift.

        They had a fundraiser to buy land to built their communist no-ypipo-allowed utopia and showed pictures of them on their newly purchased land. Except it wasn’t and they hadn’t.

  13. Sean

    There…happy now?

    Obligatory.

    • The Gunslinger

      I don’t think you’re happy enough. I’ll teach your grandmother to suck eggs

      https://youtu.be/eVM1nUmDHHc

    • Ownbestenemy

      Thanks for the update 23 years later

      • Ted S.

        2021-23=???

      • Ownbestenemy

        Yeah well…fuck off! I slumbrewed it.

      • Ownbestenemy

        ya ya…winston should be the focus here. Good lord you people..

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        Heck, that’s almost as old as the Constitution.

  14. Ownbestenemy

    All winter my irrigation worked. Now that 115+ days are here? It works only when I force it to. Lost beans, carrots and tomatoes. Corn is fine and garlic also. So infuriating.

    • Sensei

      What is this thing “winter irrigation”?

      I’ve only known “winterizing the irrigation”…

      • Ownbestenemy

        Ask us desert dwellers. Though, there is a month or at least a couple of weeks where I do have to winterize my irrigation cause of the high desert and freezing conditions we occasionally get.

    • l0b0t

      If I have a garlic bulb from the grocer that sat on the counter for too long and has sprouted some greenery, can I just pop that whole thing into some potting soil and expect a plant to grow?

      • Ownbestenemy

        Yes. I suggest the largest clove if you are replanting. Honestly, the ones that have been anemic in growth I am not sad about because I have gotten their scapes and those are more garlicy and fantastic than chives in a dish.

      • Ownbestenemy

        True. Some items are bred to be a ‘one and done’ life cycle, but I haven’t ran into that now. Typically, if you plan on buying from the market and trying to sustain life, the GMO sections SHOULD be able to do that.

      • Agent Cooper

        Was hoping for Katy Perry’s take on garlic planting. Sad.

  15. Nephilium

    Well… instead of half, only about a third of the flooring was able to get installed today. They’re saying they may need a third day.

    Time to lug furniture out of the area that still has carpet and put it into the area that has the new hardwood flooring.

    /readies a bunch of sticky felt pads

    • Ownbestenemy

      It is all worth it it.

    • rhywun

      Jealous.

      Now that my cats are gone I HATE my wall-to-wall carpeting.

      • grrizzly

        Did you think about getting new cats?

      • rhywun

        Not really.

      • Spartacus

        I could loan you some for a while. Mine are great…sometimes I can go an entire day without cleaning up puke.

      • Nephilium

        I’ll be happy when it’s done. Just moved everything that could fit into the finished area, leaving just a couch and a couch table that wouldn’t fit (without a lot of extra work). Since they were saying three days to finish, I’m not sweating that. On the bright side, with moving everything around, it’s forced some cleaning up of clutter. So far, only in for about an extra $500 based on the stair noses that needed to be replaced (parts and labor).

        On the other hand, I’m beginning to wonder if I should have asked what the charge would have been to have them move the furniture.

  16. UnCivilServant

    Had a nice nap now that I’m not being woken up by an uncomfortable bed, IV tubes getting tangled, beeping machines, wandering nurses, and light in the window.

    I was going to say it was unmedicated, but that’s not true, I started the pill-based painkillers. No, they’re not opiods except the “in case of emergency” ‘as needed’ pill that I haven’t needed yet. Right now I’m not feeling anything, so I’m doing well.

    How are the rest of ya glibs?

    • Ownbestenemy

      Glad to read your time went well.

      • UnCivilServant

        Thank you.

        I’m happy the worst is over. I just want to be to the point where I’m allowed cheese again.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Yeah screw that.. Cheese is life.

      • Fourscore

        My taste buds got all screwed up, courtesy of my stay at the spa. No appetite for cheese, sweet stuff, limited for salad, bread. Tired of chicken. Enjoy cold milk. Force myself to eat though potatoes of any sort seem to be OK.

        Mrs F is tired of me being tired of the food. Appetite is limited but I eat enough, most soup seems to be OK, MN chili OK

    • Sensei

      Feel better!

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      Are they sexy nurses?

      • UnCivilServant

        It varied by nurse.

        Some qualified. Some were okay but did not qualify. Some were fatter than me. The remainder were dudes.

      • Ownbestenemy

        When in Rome…when in Rome.

      • UnCivilServant

        poke a pope and see if he laughs like a pilsbury doghboy?

      • R C Dean

        Can confirm.

      • The Hyperbole

        I was told there would be no kink shaming.

    • mrfamous

      Get well!

    • The Other Kevin

      It is nearly impossible to sleep in a hospital. Good to hear you’re home and on the mend.

      • Count Potato

        “It is nearly impossible to sleep in a hospital.”

        That always seemed exceptionally stupid to me.

      • Fourscore

        “Wake up, UCS, it’s time for your pain pill”

    • Animal

      Get better fast, buddy.

      • Brochettaward

        Out of sympathy, I didn’t First today as I was leaving the spot for you. Not that you could ever be a Firster, or truly First, but it’s sort of like letting the handicapped kid score a touchdown.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        You are considerate, aren’t you.

    • db

      Get well soon!

    • TARDis

      I’m doing well.

      Glad to hear it. Do you have a parole date yet?

      • UnCivilServant

        Not sure what qualifies.

        I’m out of the hospital, have only a 3 day driving moratorium (and not when on the ‘in case of emergency’ pills). I have to stay out of work for 1-2 weeks depending on recovery rate.

      • rhywun

        Vacay! Nice.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        https://i.imgur.com/ahfzSUF.png

        Were you recommended a low-fat diet? If so, look to the Japanese. If not, kindly disregard.

      • UnCivilServant

        If I’ve sorted out the information I was given, I was told long term I had no restrictions save for what the digestive tract will take as that seems to vary from person to person with this operation. In the short term I have to avoid foods in the fatty category. So I’ve frozen my bacon and all the meats from the fridge since that didn’t qualify.

        So far, I’ve found japanese food hit and miss. At lot of their textures and flavor profiles just don’t seem to work for me.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Cucumber sunomonu!

        Repair to forums if you like.

      • Sean

        Oof. That’s worse than the cheese thing. Sorry dude.

        Hope ya heal up real quick.

      • TARDis

        I’m out of the hospital
        #winning

    • Count Potato

      Get well soon.

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      *Hands UCS brand new recuperation gloves*

      Get well!

      I assume this is the first step to becoming a combat cyborg?

      • UnCivilServant

        I would work better as a strategic coordinator cyborg. But any upgrades would be nice. Not enough chrome yet.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Go for the titanium. Lighter and has a cool color when the outer layer is oxidized.

    • wdalasio

      I hope you’re feeling better soon.

      • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

        Just my two cents’ worth.

        Good on ya. My last abdominal surgery (grumble), I was on oxy for a full three days (and the doc gave me enough for seven days), but after day three I only needed acetaminophen/ibuprofen. Froze the remaining oxy and ended up giving it to my brother several years later when he had an op for skin cancer and they gave him some shit painkillers that basically didn’t work.

        Suffering from both IBS-D and diverticulosis, I’m something of an expert in what foods to avoid while you’re recovering. Dietary fats should be kept to an absolute minimum, so find the ones you really like and partake sparingly. For me, it was great butter.

        And try to walk as early as you’re able — the scar tissue which will inevitably form will be much more flexible (and therefore much less uncomfortable) if you walk as much as you can stand every day. The worst thing you can do is not move — that scar tissue will be hard as a rock and very uncomfortable.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m already up and moving,

        It’s easier at home. That hospital bed isn’t well-suited to getting out of it.

  17. LCDR_Fish

    Well, I was working during the last thread, but just wanted to note, while she’s been ultra low-carb the last few years, my Mom has had an awesome low-carb pancake recipe that uses cottage cheese. The pancakes come out insanely light and airy. Extremely great flavor – esp with butter and maple syrup.

    The fun thing about French Toast is that you can adjust flavors by switching bread types too – also I like anything with cinnamon, etc

    Waffles are hit and miss depending on how they’re made, but in certain contexts/restaurants, I like them.

    • Brochettaward

      Chick-fil-A makes one thing, and they don’t even do that the best. Popeyes offers a superior chicken sandwich. They are the most overrated service in America.

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        I’ll be the first to agree with you that Popeye’s makes a better sandwich.

      • Count Potato

        I see what you did there.

      • Gustave Lytton

        They used to but then they got rid of their chicken (and shrimp) poboy in favor of the current abomination.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Their breakfast biscuits are pretty kickass. I don’t care much for their sammiches though.

      • l0b0t

        Popeye’s has been on a customer service nosedive since Al Copeland died. Also they, like every other fast food joint, use a breast fillet but don’t bother to pound it out to an even thickness so it’s unevenly cooked and a mess on a bun.

      • Gadfly

        This. Popeye’s has better chicken/sides IMO, but their customer service is so inconsistent that you never know what you’re in for when you go to a location for the first time. Chick-fil-A does not have this problem.

      • zwak

        Yeah, nobody screws up sides more than Popeyes.

        Worst coleslaw ever.

      • Mojeaux

        I do not like Chick-Fil-A. Ido notlike chicken on sandwiches. I like fried chicken.

        Popeyes = great chicken, not-great biscuits
        KFC = okay chicken, good biscuits, yummy cole slaw
        Hardee’s = great biscuits

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I do not like chicken on sandwiches.

        I think that you and I have the singularly most opposite palates humanly possible.

      • Mojeaux

        I think that you and I have the singularly most opposite palates humanly possible.

        I have the palate sophistication of a toddler.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I’m a human garbage disposal. If it fits, it goes down the gullet.

      • Mojeaux

        I am not that sophisticated.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      Ugh, that article is insufferable. I should know better by now than to click into a TMITE article like that.

    • The Hyperbole

      The rankings take into account factors such as cleanliness, accuracy, staff helpfulness and reliability of mobile apps.

      So nothing about the quality of the food, explains why Dominos managed to get the silver medal.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Domino’s doesn’t suck as bad as it used to. It moved from disgusting to forgettable, IMO.

      • TARDis

        KFC chicken has improved as well. It no longer looks and tastes like frozen Banquet boxed crap that I ate when I was poor. Their sides still suck though. We only tried them for the first time in a quarter century because spectrum boy was being his contrary self and insisted.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Which is weird. I always felt their mashed potatoes (really whipped/rehydrated) and gravy never changed and their chicken and breading have.

      • TARDis

        explains why Dominos managed to get the silver medal
        Exactly.

        The article is mostly crap, like most chain foods. It’s like stepping out of the road and onto the sidewalk, and declaring yourself tall.

        Longhorn? GTFO
        I have not been in one for more than 5 years. Same with Chili’s, Applebees, O’Charley’s, etc.

    • Old Man With Candy

      No Culver’s? That shows you it’s bullshit.

      Taco Time? They have fucking deep fried burritos! That should be a walk-off win.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Taco Time is dead to me. I remember when they were a decent local chain.

      • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

        They were never “local” to your neck of the woods. The original Taco Time came from my adopted hometown (Edmonton, Alberta, Canada) during the 1970s/80s. Introduced a California boy to the idea of sour cream on a taco back in ’78, which blew his mind (mostly for how good it was).

      • tripacer

        People should know that Taco Time Northwest operates independently from Taco Time, and TTNW is MUCH better than than standard TT.

      • B.P.

        Isn’t a deep-fried burrito a chimichanga?

      • Ownbestenemy

        Shush

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Yes, but he’s rolling.

      • l0b0t

        Is a deep fried burrito different from a chimichanga? I love chimichangas.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Culvers has been hit or miss for me, their shakes and such are good but the food I have had varied wildly from franchise to franchise.

      • Michael Bluth

        I worked at Taco Time for seven years (high school + undergrad). I met my wife there. The only true Taco Time is in Rexburg, Idaho. The quality variation between each store is insane.

  18. Ownbestenemy

    Thursday tunes

    • creech

      I’m not holding my breath waiting for FBI to show same diligence in investigating the leak of personal tax returns as it is in tracking down every simpleton who walked around the capitol rotunda on Jan. 6th.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Ugh, standing up for LeBron James. Fuck that guy.

    • Ownbestenemy

      So really if we want to read that article honestly it is “Le Bron, a black man who makes a lot of money doesn’t enjoy the same tax breaks as an owner of the Clippers, a white man, who is afforded all the breaks due to race.”

      Am I close?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I don’t need to read it to know you’re spot on.

      • R C Dean

        Well, let’s start with “That massive salary of Le Bron’s? That’s a deduction for the owner of the Clippers. When you comprende that, we can talk.”

      • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

        The article mentions the fact that salaries can be deducted from revenue as if that were some kind of accounting trick.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I can’t even….

      • KSuellington

        “This one weird trick will save you millions on your next tax bill!”

    • Animal

      Wealth, income – how are they different?

    • Urthona

      So the article is saying the problem is the purchase cost of a business counts as a deduction?

  19. Old Man With Candy

    When does SP come back so we can get this shit under control again?

    • Ownbestenemy

      We all act as nothing happened.

    • Timeloose

      She’s not pulling a Galt is she?

      • Ted S.

        She’s sharpening her tin can lids.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Damnit, I told you it was under control.

    • The Hyperbole

      Look, it was an amazing run, you people have nothing to be ashamed of. most people didn’t even think this ragtag group of disaffected libertarians would last four weeks, you lasted four years. I just hope that after the imminent collapse we all can find some new home where at least some of us can at keep in touch. I’m going to concentrate my efforts on the comment boards at Goodreads and Christians Mingle.

      • R C Dean

        we all can find some new home where at least some of us can at keep in touch

        A suggestion.

      • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

        Okay, that’s funny as Hell.

      • Sean

        Stormfront?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Batsquatch? Weird name for a beer but I’d give it a try.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Is that a Basque cryptid? STEVE’s long-lost separatist cousin?!

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        BATSQUATCH BASQUE IN GLORY OF MOTHER MOUNTAIN. HOOMANS CALL MOTHER MT. ST. HELENS. BATSQUATCH BORN WITH LOUD BOOM. MUD SLIDE FAR AWAY!

      • KSuellington

        Hmm, Basques have some of the most Neanderthal DNA of any people in the world (must be why they are so frigging awesome). Maybe those unintelligible sounds STEVE SMITH is making are actually Basque.

  20. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Good on the Japanese for stepping up. Minus using nukes the the Chinese would get their asses whipped in a Naval war with Japan by themselves, much less if we stepped in too, as it stands now and Taiwan is, of course, an island. Taiwan deserves defending from the monsters in China and it should be the regional powers that do it.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Even using nukes, they would get off a few good pops but ultimately would be the largest parking lot on the planet if they did. If we didn’t wuss out of that is.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Sounds like it’s more due to WF’s own circumstances. Not that the economy isn’t teetering.

      • leon

        I hope WF goes out of business

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      There’s definitely underlying weakness in the markets. The divergence between the major index makers (Apple, Facebook, etc…) and the rest is growing rapidly.

      However, it’s China that should have everyone spooked. 13% decline in five days for their internet stocks.

      The kicker on all of this is that when foreigners buy Chinese stocks, they’re not actually buying Chinese stock, they’re buying shares in a shell company usually located in the Caribbean. These shell companies don’t have any real guarantees from the parent so it’s buying vapor. The Chinese government actually forbids foreigners from owning Chinese stock, but that gets no airtime in US finance news.

      It’s a massive clusterfuck that could pop now, tomorrow, or next year. Who knows when, but it will.

    • Spudalicious

      It’s huge for Wells Fargo.

    • TARDis

      I’m slowly warming to music like this. I’ve always had an issue with the twangy singing style. But damn, that was fantastic.

      Followed on with this. Even better.

      • slumbrew

        “Billy’s playing has really inspired me to sell my guitar.”

        *snort*

      • Ownbestenemy

        I linked Billy String above. He is cocky but damn good bluegrass player

      • TARDis

        This explains the queued up video for me. ?

    • Mojeaux

      LOVE LOVE LOVE Glen Campbell and that song.

      She doesn’t do too badly with it.

  21. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Deleted video from The San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus:

    https://youtu.be/FsNUvzKpi7g

    “We’ll convert your children and make an ally out of them yet.”
    Well goddamn, Jerry Falwell was right.

    • Brochettaward

      I actually have to defend the far left, entitled queers here. They are saying that they’ll win over the next generation. Not that they are going to turn straight kids into gays which would actually just be comical coming from a gay rights group.

      I hate their smugness and sense of victimhood, and would probably vehemently disagree with what they are labeling as “rights.” But they are free to try and win over as many people to their cause as they can.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I realize that, I’m mostly joking with the Falwell stuff but it was a terrible idea to put that out.

      • R C Dean

        But they are free to try and win over as many people to their cause

        I don’t really think of “I like to fuck _________” as a cause, exactly.

      • Brochettaward

        They have an agenda. One that I’m not particularly sympathetic to after they won their gay marriage, but it is a cause. They have policies they want enacted and to see complete 100% acceptance of their behavior. They want people to embrace their lifestyles, not just tolerate them.

      • Mojeaux

        Just like every evangelizing religion.

      • The Hyperbole

        ^^This^^ even if it’s some cunt stating it. the Bro has turned to the Hype side.

      • Sean

        That can’t be good for any of us.

      • TARDis

        Word.

        Enjoy the slide into darkness, kiddies.

        *hunches shoulders and wrings hands maliciously*

      • KSuellington

        Or seeing as it’s The Bro we can’t discount that he didn’t get there First.

  22. Ownbestenemy

    I will accept this entry but you darlin are no Dolly.

    • TARDis

      E+ for effort though. It’s solid enough.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Shorter version: We’re not sorry, you will endorse our way of life.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Tongue-in-cheek humor about “we’re coming for your children” is bad optics at the least. Only lunatics living in a bubble would put out shit like that.

      • R C Dean

        Tongue in cheek? HM alert!

      • Sean

        Heh.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I haven’t seen him around lately. I miss HM and his weird ass fetishes and associated perversions.

      • Sean

        We still have plenty of preverts around here. See the fleshlight bit earlier today.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I’m well aware this place is replete with perverts, there’s just something I find particularly funny about ass eating for some reason.

      • Mojeaux

        Hey. *I* am not a perv— Oh, wait.

      • R C Dean

        I miss HM

        #metoo

      • Sean

        Stand in front of your mirror and repeat this phrase three times:

        “Oh, HM, come for the ass eating; stay for the cummies.”

        And he will appear.

  23. westernsloper

    So I listened to Malice interview Alex Jones on my drive to work today. Jones said Bigfoot is a hoax which STEVE SMITH might disagree with. Then Malice asked him about the Vegas shooting. Ho. leeeee. She. eeiit. I hadn’t heard that line of explanation before.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Do tell…

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      The Saudi civil war stuff? That was interesting and I’m going to look into it more but it sounds far fetched. The complete drying up of curiosity concerning the incident is suspicious as hell though.

      • westernsloper

        The whole thing stinks and the national non interest has came up here numerous times in the comments. The largest mass shooting in US history just got essentially disappeared. I have no idea if what Jones was claiming is true, but damn.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I always figured the shooter was an FBI informant who went berserk and they had to cover up the fact that they screwed up royally and ignored multiple warning signs.

        The Saudi angle would seem difficult to keep a lid on.

      • westernsloper

        Your take has been my suspicion as well. Then I hear this shit I have never heard. Prior to Jones talking about Vegas, topics included the Gulf of Tonkin, JFK, and 9/11.

        Malice is putting out a decent entertaining podcast to make money which is ok. It is all entertainment to me and I am good with that.

      • Animal

        So what is he claiming? I really don’t want to listen to a one-hour podcast to ferret out the information.

      • westernsloper

        I am hesitant to state what he claimed because I will probably not get it exactly right, but essentially Saudis going off and the concert was not the only shooting site. I would have to listen again to get it all, like I said I was driving to work so it was back ground noise in my ear. I just remember going, WTF?

      • Animal

        Huh. OK, bookmarked the page to listen when I’m not supposed to be working.

      • westernsloper

        I was entertained by the interview. Both Malice and Jones are funny (or at least I think they are) so it was not a bad listen.

    • TARDis

      Is that… a companion cube? No way.

    • R C Dean

      Very prudent, the body armor while playing with Legos.

  24. Sean

    GF has been committing genocide on the Japanese beetles attacking attacking our plants.

    • Sean

      ?

    • TARDis

      Spraying them with Nukacide? “Now in Hiroshima strength.”

      • R C Dean

        Nukacide

        I wish I’d thought of that a few years ago, when we had an ant problem on one of our units. Our facilities people were getting all wrapped around the axle about the CA warnings (may cause cancer, blah blah whatever) on some of the insecticides (which would be applied in the courtyard outside the unit).

        I told them I didn’t care if the dusted the courtyard with plutonium, I did not want to hear about ants on that unit again. Trust me, ants and tracheotomies do not go together. Well, should not go together, anyway.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        “ants and tracheotomies”

        Wasn’t that a song by XTC?

      • Count Potato

        pharaoh ants?

    • Timeloose

      Is Seven still the pesticide of choice?

      I imagine Methiolate is a no no.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I can’t reconcile these two statements:

      At the same time, just 12 percent of female SWOs remain in the community after that time, compared with 39 percent of male SWOs, according to the report.

      “U.S. Navy officials are aware of the SWO communities’ high separation rates but have not used existing information to develop a plan with clearly defined goals, performance measures that identify specific retention rates or determine if initiatives to improve retention are working as planned,” the report states. “Doing so would better position the U.S. Navy to more effectively meet its personnel needs, capitalize on the significant investments made in training SWOs, and retain a more diverse and combat-ready force.”

      If the goal is to retain more SWOs, then wouldn’t it make sense to prioritize the hiring and training of those more likely to stay after ten years? A 12% retention rate is abysmal and probably not even worth trying to improve.

      • R C Dean

        I’d love to know how many of the female SWOs got pregnant, and that’s why they left.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Not sure. I never knew any who were pregnant on the ships I served on, but my second CO was female with a couple high school age kids.

        *generally* it’s recommended to wait until the first 4 years are done and you’re on your 2-3 year shore duty for popping out a couple – *most* SWO shore duty billets are less intense (training commands like mine are considered the exception).

        After that tour, you have a requirement for 3 more years at sea, then it’s another 2 or so years ashore. and so on.

    • Sensei

      Send the one in for an actual post!

      • LCDR_Fish

        Yeah…it’s a good article on the whole – at least with the details. Maybe if I have time the next week, etc. About to go to San Diego for 10 days next Mon for inspections.

    • leon

      I mean no disrespect, Everything about the Navy sounds awful. Being at Sea for months at a time, etc. I’m surprised they keep people on for 20+ years.

      • Gustave Lytton

        No rum, but there’s still sodomy and the lash.

      • TARDis

        Without rum, I would enjoy neither of those.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        How do you know without trying it first?

      • TARDis

        Without rum, I would enjoy neither of those.

        Better?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        At least I know you’re not chicken.

      • Raven Nation

        Meh, the idea that you can see a lot of the world would appeal to many.

  25. trshmnstr the terrible

    Quest Diagnostics sucks ass, and not in the HM way.

    The medical bill of doom has resurfaced after a few months of silence. “We’ll let you know once we’re done processing the paperwork”… Surrrre. This bill is from March 2019, and I’ve been through this song and dance more than once.

    This time, I’m in the process of tracking down executives’ contact info. I’m giving their patient advocates a couple days to do what they can do, and then executives start getting unpleasant phone calls and emails and LinkedIn messages. Threaten to send my bill to collections while you’re supposed to be fixing it for the 15th time? Fine, I’ll make sure each and every one of you are mentioned, by name, to the CFO and CEO.

    • Sensei

      FCRA is supposed to prevent them from sending a bill in “dispute” to collections.

      So similar to using “bad faith” in my last discussion with my insurer’s claims department that’s the word you need to be sure to use in your communications.

      Funny enough after sending that particular email to a few claims execs I had a full and final settlement in two days after 30 days of dicking around. It helps when you intimately understand how the company trying to fuck you works. No attorney needed.

  26. Tulip

    Picked corn the other night. Tasted great, and I have a surprisingly good yield given that I have so few corn plants (6). I planted them offset in the hopes it would help and it seems to have worked. I’m getting about three cobs per plant.

    • westernsloper

      Is your next post going to be about carving corn cob pipes?

      • Tulip

        No, but I may write one about making elote, as well as an elote dip.

    • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

      Decent yield for home-grown stuff!

      My tomatoes, basil and tomatillos (lovingly raised from seed starting on March 28th) actually appear to be on-track for a bumper crop, but man, are they ever using a lot of water! I’m estimating 2 litres per plant per day, which seems high to me, but whatevs . . .

      • Count Potato

        Oh, tomatoes can use way more water than that.

      • Tulip

        I’m watering the tomatoes and peppers twice a day right now. Definitely more than 2 litres a day. And, why aren’t you using go to the moon units?

      • Gender Traitor

        His country hasn’t been to the moon?

      • Chipping Pioneer

        Neither has yours!

      • Gender Traitor

        Hey, now! Neil Armstrong was from just up the road a piece in lovely and talented Wapakoneta, Ohio – a fact you can’t escape if you head north from Dayton on I-75. Are you questioning the veracity of our local hero???

      • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

        In the lifetime of most people here, yours hasn’t either (and your best shot at it appears to be from a white South African).

        That’s okay. You’ll always have Tang.

      • rhywun

        In the lifetime of most several people here

        FTFY

  27. Gadfly

    Link (“War”)

    China is overstating their case. There’s a reason that China hasn’t taken Taiwan yet, and it’s not (solely) that the US is backing Taiwan. Taiwan is an island, a very defensible position, and China does not have sufficient naval and air capacity to launch an overseas war of conquest. Communist China has shown a willingness to go to war with the US if they think they can win (they in fact have gone to war with the US in the past, in Korea), but their numbers advantage only helps them in a land war. They aren’t invading Japan either, for the same reason.

    • Master JaimeRoberto (royal we/us)

      When you are weak, appear strong. When you are strong, appear weak. I’m guessing the Chinese are familiar with that saying.

  28. Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

    There . . . happy now?

    Always. I chalk it up to the drugs.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Now that is some funny shit.

    • wdalasio

      I really would have cracked up if he’d responded “Oh, no, no! What you’re talking about is Hitlerism! That isn’t TRUE National Socialism!”

    • Urthona

      That is freaking awesome.

    • Brochettaward

      If he wasn’t black, he’d have been shit canned.

      • Urthona

        Wasn’t he? Or did they just suspend him?

      • Brochettaward

        According to the news report, a 30 day suspension. The shyster lawyer from the Anti-Defamation League said he hoped he learned his lesson on how wrong he was.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I cried

      • Lackadaisical

        Yeah, that’s just black piling

    • Tulip

      that wasn’t right: try this

      • Tulip

        i give up

      • Tulip

        scroll down to the one about Lori Lightfoot

      • Chafed

        That was a work of art.

      • TARDis

        “You are ready to join us now.”

        /progmasters

    • straffinrun

      Nice. Those dudes passed out on the graves were the photo used by Nat Geo for a story about COVID deaths spiking IIRC. Pure propaganda.

  29. Brochettaward

    Even if there are no articles for me to First, I’m still First. Because it is a state of being for me. Not just a simple act of greatness.

  30. trshmnstr the terrible

    Hey TPTB, I gave the gift of links for tomorrow morning… check the submitted post queue. Feel free to use them or not.

  31. straffinrun

    Here’s a Nat Geo piece head scratcher.

    “Vaccine envy can be real. These feelings may be particularly heightened for those who have older vaccinated siblings or cousins,” Basu notes. “Some disagreements might feel bigger or more emotional than they typically would, and issues of fairness might take on a new level of scrutiny.” (Here’s how to help kids deal with vaccine worries.)
    https://www.nationalgeographic.com/family/article/during-their-second-covid-19-summer-unvaccinated-tweens-are-struggling?cmpid=org=ngp::mc=social::src=twitter::cmp=editorial::add=tw20210707family-tweensunvaccinated&sf247393589=1

    • Sensei

      NYT had a piece about eligible teens trying to get vaccines with parents who are against it.

      I’m voting for some Journolist V2 stuff here.

      • straffinrun

        All the kids are doing it. You wanna be cool, don’t you?

    • rhywun

      “Enter your email address to continue reading”

      Blow me.

  32. Q Continuum

    Japan, the US et. al. will let China have Taiwan because the Western world either no longer has the balls to defend what’s right or no longer cares about the difference between right and wrong.

    Further: were I Japanese, I’d be thinking real hard about amending the constitution to build up a military.

  33. slumbrew

    Aeron update – new piston arrived, got the seat off using their removal kit (a pair of shaft collars and some screws) but the old piston Does. Not. Want. To. Come. Out.

    Hosed it down with WD-40 & letting it sit over night. We’ll see tomorrow.

    I’m also going to swap the rubber mallet for the engineers’ hammer – no more Mr. Nice Guy.

    • db

      I don’t have an Aeron, but I do have a decent chair that had the piston fail. I had to beat that fucker like a rented mule to get the old one out. Don’t be shy.

  34. l0b0t

    Off to work, where I try to ignore felony shoplifting. Sigh…

    • db

      Just to review:

      If you steal from your employer, you get fired.

      If you stop other people from stealing from your employer, you get fired.

      If you mention in public that your employer ignores some people stealing from it but not others, you get fired *and* shunned from polite society.

      • Ownbestenemy

        What’s the question? /CNN

    • Ownbestenemy

      Offer them suggestions

  35. db

    Music for the evening:

    Wet Girls by the Kilaueas.

    • straffinrun

      I’m just gonna do a google video search for that instead of clicking your link.

      • Ask your doctor if BEAM is right for you

        Coward. Just do it.

  36. Gustave Lytton

    Thank god for cold drinks and cold beer.

  37. Chipwooder

    If you haven’t tried Spindrift sparkling water, you should. It’s delightful.

    • straffinrun

      ^shill

    • Gustave Lytton

      Does it beat Mexican bottled water?

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      Just polished off a grapefruit one.

      That reminds me, I need to go refill my 5# CO2 tank for my sodastream so I can make good sparkling water for almost no money.

      • Chipwooder

        How does it come out? I’ve kicked the idea of buying one around, but I don’t know if it’s worth it.

    • slumbrew

      It’s good stuff.

  38. blackjack

    Well, my air b&b is pretty decent. Across the street from the intercoastal and two blocks from the Atlantic. Beats the hotels you get for 2 bills per night.

    • Chafed

      Where are my chicks on a yacht photos?

  39. Ownbestenemy

    Gotta give this some props. Not cause it’s right but because the prongs have used it against.

    “I do think it’s time to start mandating vaccines. And I think that the private industry and private organizations will do that. “

  40. hayeksplosives

    A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood.

    The nurse asks “What’’s your blood type?”

    The rabbit says “I’m probably a type O.”

  41. hayeksplosives

    My NuKitty is such a lovebug. Every night about 5 minutes after I get in bed he hops up on the mattress, makes bread on me for a while, then settles in to sleep right next to me, tucked in as close as he can to my back or hip.

    I’ve never had a bed sleeper cat.

    • TARDis

      I’ve never had a bed sleeper cat.

      They can be a joy and a nuisance.

      All of ours except one, were bedtime kitties. My cat usually slept between us, at our feet. Wife’s kitty slept under her chin until she grew larger. Then she slept between my knees when I would first go to sleep on my back. When I rolled to my side she would perch on my wife’s hip or plush posterior. 🙂 And there she would stay for the rest of the night. Occasionally there would be a cat fight over positions. Good times.

  42. Gustave Lytton

    What did Jazz ever do to Johnny?

    • TARDis

      Yes, yes it was. I want a “fun” job like they have. Oh well, at least I can multitask.

    • TARDis

      Yeah, that’s just stupid to me.

      What’s next. People stealing other people’s stuff so they take it somewhere and smash it?

      “Anything missing, Ma’am?”
      “It strange, just my dinnerware and my collectible Elvis plates.”

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Is catharsis really cathartic if it’s planned?

  43. Sean

    Mornin y’all. ☕

    • TARDis

      Good Morning. I thought it was y’uns up your way. We’re y’all down here.

      • TARDis

        Morning, U. Hope you are doing well today.

      • UnCivilServant

        I woke up a few times overnight, but slept better than in the hospital.

      • TARDis

        Good to hear. Of course, you could sleep better at a bus terminal than a hospital. I know I have.

        Pain on the wane?

      • UnCivilServant

        yes, the pain is diminishing.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Sean, TARDy, and U! It’s Friday, payday, and I’m going to two little girls’ very belated birthday party tonight. It’s a pool party, but I’m not planning on going swimming. I don’t feel quite up to getting into someone’s backyard above-ground pool with a bunch of sugared-up pre-teen and barely-teen girls, not to mention their just-graduated-from-high-school hyperactive twin uncles. Happily, the hostess makes her own wine and is bound to serve some.

      • Festus

        Hyperactive twin 18 year-olds? Sounds like you’re passing up the opportunity of a lifetime, Red… *ducks*

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      It’s the government sanctioned monetary gift to pharma that keeps on giving.

  44. l0b0t

    Home from work. My laundry soap thief arrived as I did and begged me – “Times are hard for everyone, sir. Please don’t blow me up.” He took a whole shopping cart, stacked to overflowing with large GAIN detergent, at least 15 bottles (at $24.99 per). I didn’t even get to fantasize about locking up his bike… He left the fuckin’ thing because he had a whole shopping cart of soap to push home. Fuck it! If the boss isn’t gonna care, and they certainly don’t pay me enough to care, I’m going to not care. I hate my job, I hate my life; the sweet release of death can’t come soon enough.

    • Festus

      It’s just a job, Friend. Everything is going to hell in a hand-cart for me as well lately on that front. Give over what you think is right and wrong and cover your own ass for the sake of your kids. Yeah, it was quite literally a dark day for me as well but there has to be a morning after, right? Sorry for all of your troubles.

    • rhywun

      Stop that.

      I remember working at a Tops upstate (“Tops never stops… saving you more!”). Co-worker got busted for stealing one pack of smokes valued at $2.12. A more innocent age.

      • Festus

        I’m treating my mortality like my truck. Run it until it dies on the side of the road. I0bot has progeny, hence a future. That matters. He needs to get back to where he was happy, find some peace and maybe rediscover the pleasures of life. God knows, my life has been pointless and chaotic forever and now I’m an old man. You, I0bot can right the ship. My time has passed, now I’m just playing out the fourth quarter. Beer and work and ciggies. (and Glibs)

      • Fourscore

        Hey Festus, M’boy, game is all tied up. We’re going into overtime and I’m going to need you. Sometimes we have to play the last part in pain but it’s still gotta be played ’til the ref blows the whistle.

        There are some things that aren’t taught in school, we learn them on our own. Alone, at night, in the quiet but learn them we will.

      • Festus

        Don’t worry about it 4×20. I made my bed and I’ll lay in it eventually whether I like it or not. Sure wish I would have had a kid or two, for better or worse.

      • UnCivilServant

        $2.12 for a pack in New York, that must have been a while ago.

      • rhywun

        Early 90’s.

      • Lackadaisical

        Tops never mops, just look at the floors. /Jingle

      • rhywun

        Ha. You would recoil in horror at the sight of a typical NYC supermarket, outside the big chains.

    • TARDis

      If the boss isn’t gonna care

      Does the boss really not care, or is it company policy?

      As for me, I’m tired of paying extra for everything so parasites can have “free” shit. The commies complaining about capitalism piss me off. This shit ain’t capitalism, it’s lazy ass socialism.

      • rhywun

        It’s that, and worse. They want “anarchy” (the bad kind). They want to tear everything down and replace it with their fascist “utopia”. Nobody with half a brain thinks that encouraging large-scale crime is going to end well. Some eggs have to be broken.

      • Festus

        Sure. Bespoke crime will never affect them until it does and by then it will be too late. History has played this filmstrip over and over again.

      • TARDis

        I think it’s going to be more than few eggs at this point. Like Fes says, fourth quarter. A lot of us are either there, or soon will be. I worry for my kids, especially my son. Will he be in a gulag 10-15 years from now? Executed by Fascist thugs working for the enemies of the long deceased republic?

    • Gender Traitor

      ::hugs l0b0t extra hard::

      Make your kids some raspberry waffles this morning.

      • Festus

        ^^^ This! Hang in there!

      • Gender Traitor

        …and good morning, l0, Fes, rhy, and Stinky.

      • Festus

        Morning to all as well! Smoke is thickening so we might not get much of one 🙁

      • Gender Traitor

        Yikes! Forest fires? 🙁

      • Festus

        Yeah but thankfully fairly far away. We haven’t got to the soupy, yellow atmosphere from three years ago yet. It was bizarre the way it messed with sound waves. Expect another influx of refugees from outlying areas that never go home.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      “the sweet release of death can’t come soon enough”
      Don’t worry buddy, you’ll get there one day.

    • TARDis

      A downside of that, could be that people will say, ‘Well, it wasn’t as serious as you said.’

      Yes of course, because truth and transparency are bad.

      No worries, you POS, no one will be held accountable.

  45. Festus

    Has anyone else noticed TMITE asking more pointed questions of your administration over the last few days or is it just me? There was that AP reporter and someone else that was not Steve Ducey asked Biden something that left him flummoxed. Palace coup?

    • Sean

      Don’t get your hopes up.

      Oh look, Joe’s getting ice cream again!

      • Festus

        This was from yesterday. Two incidences mean a trend right? It hasn’t been one in a row for about five years so I’m going with my instincts about horrible people and how they usually behave here.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I’m sure whoever it was’ supervisor will pull them into the office and tell them to cut it the hell out.

      • TARDis

        So what are TMITE angry about? The insurrectionists not being executed without a trial yet? People not being forced to get vaxxed at gunpoint? Departing Afghanistan? No executive order mandating CRT nationwide? Just tell me what you want!

    • Festus

      “I always wanted a Palace Coup! Nifty car! Ran like the dickens!” *Joe answer*