(Ozy’s post the other day inspired me to try and find something I wrote when I was a freshman in college in 1994 but I couldn’t find it so I will have to re-write that piece but I did come across this hot mess during the search. I edited, added, and deleted from the original but I wrote pretty much this in the late ’90s-ish I was a miserable broken man then having gone through two divorces in three years neither of which I wanted. I was mental. I was destroyed. I was a total fuckup. Not much has changed over a few decades BUT THAT IS NOT THE POINT! The following is……. me)
What is it about water? It covers two thirds of the planet and my fondest memories all have water involved in some way or another. People fight over it. We covet others’ water. We feel we are short changed in the water department so we build viaducts, canals and ditches to get it where it wasn’t. Or we take it for granted when we have enough. We even retain it if we don’t do whatever the hell it is that makes you not retain water.
I have seen water give life and take it. It mystifies me. It intrigues me. I am drawn to it in spite of being afraid sometimes when dark memories return. This makes me sound obsessive compulsive and I am not sure that is one of the many mental flaws I posses but how would I know being all mentally flawed and all.
I am not sure what first made me love it. Was it the early sailing experiences on Blue Mesa with my friends? The early morning ski pulls behind a screaming boat on glass water on the same lake? Or just growing up next to a river? Moving water is something you can just sit and watch and it makes you content. It fills your ears, your eyes and your head. There is no room in a brain that is watching a class 3 rapid roll over itself again and again. Or breakers rolling onto a sandy beach to just recede back to where they came from and become part of the next break.
Years ago in a prior life I came back to where I live now to help my folks who were building a house at the time and visit my close and extended family. It was the yearly summer vacation my son and I made here. Western Colorado at the time was in a drought just as it is now since, well, it is high desert and it doesn’t get much rain. Who knew a desert wouldn’t get much rain. Craziness. My father and I discussed the lack of water as well as God. He being a preacher at the time ensured we would eventually get to that topic. I told him I doubted God’s influence on this earth and all that was driving anything was people’s desire to promote themselves and their situation. He informed me I had lost the battle for my mind. I informed him I was told my mind was not worth battling over.
After several great weeks my son and I left Western Colorado to go back to Oklahoma. My son had arrived a week ahead of me to spend even more time with his grandparents. We drove over Monarch pass, dropped into Salida and entered the canyon that eventually becomes the Royal Gorge. We camped along the highway in one of the state campgrounds that night.
I remember distinctly the most beautiful sunrise I have ever seen. I don’t remember the year, but I remember the day because I knew it was my sister’s birthday. I was standing watch on the bridge of a Coast Guard patrol boat somewhere between Florida and the Bahamas. A beautiful sunrise of pink billowy cumulous clouds across the sky and nothing but water in a 360 view. I had seen a lot of sunsets as well, be it from the pier on Key West, or the cockpit of a number of boats, but I never remembered one that stood out. Then it happened.
As the sun sank behind the hills and then passed over the continental divide the peaks blocked the sun’s rays and a red glow filled the canyon. Shadows moved and changed into darkness that hid under rocks and the holes in the stone walls that gave direction to the river. Birds swooped down out of the orange sky flying inches above the river to get their evening meal of bugs. I made dinner trying to fend off the bugs. I looked down through the willows at the quiet stretch of river I knew and watched a seven year old boy knee deep in the river cast a fishing pole. Alongside him stood a big red dog wet from swimming. Fish rose around the boy constantly to eat some bugs as well, but he never caught one. Poor selection of spinners in my tackle box. Across the river a beaver exited the bank and began fishing himself. Then another one. They fished and played on that calm stretch of the Arkansas as the sun set further behind the mountains and eventually the sunset gave in to darkness and the boy and dog came up the bank to warm.
I don’t know how many times I floated that river with my friends, or drove through that canyon. But I do know I saw the most beautiful sunset that night. I was in a dark time in my life then and an email from a friend asked, “have you listened to your inner child lately?” I don’t know if I had, or if I do now, but I do know if and or when he speaks he is a little boy standing knee deep in a river next to a dog like my son was that evening. And they both have something in common. You can’t keep either one of them out of the water.
And Dad, for the record. God may influence life on this planet. He may even do it every sunset or sunrise for someone out there. I think another David put it something like, “he will lead you along quiet waters” or some shit like that.
Thanks, Agent Sloper. I liked this piece and I, too, have that emotional draw to water.
A marvelous meditation! I think it was Stegner who said of water in the arid Western states: whiskey is for drinking, water is for fighting.
And sadly, to commit two sins in one – going OT and referencing TOS. The Bee weeps…
It’s almost like she is Poe’s law incarnate.
The article is as squishy as I remember them being on the prog-fascists, but at least the comments are better than before.
OMG rape culture!!!
Has anyone linked to Taibbi’s review of her new book yet? I just read the free excerpt, but holy crap this woman is a complete fucking lunatic:
I probably live within 5 miles of Welch and that Brooklyn is completely unrecognizable to me. The BLM sign in my old pet store around the corner is notable for being the only shop in the area that has one. The simple fact of the matter is that yuppies like me are greatly outnumbered by immigrants from the Middle East, China, and South of the Border, not to mention (((those guys))) – and none of them give a shit about being woke.
Is he in Park Slope? He’s gotta be in Park Slope. I kinda miss Bed-Stuy/Crown Heights; everyone seemed too busy just trying to make it in this world to have time for such virtue signaling.
“Life of the party” is not a proverb; it’s a cliché.
She is a walking parody. It’s incredible that anyone takes any of that seriously.
There are a couple essays I wrote in college I’d like to have to have. Both to see if my argumentation was as good as I thought, and if it was to recycle it. (This was the early 2000s) One was about how there were already saliva tests that could detect if someone was high at the moment, at which point pot should have just been treated like beer. Another was about how laws banning face coverings (ha, now they are mandatory!) should not exist, but there should be a social taboo about it. The final one addressed just this subject, water, as in it being a right, and if rights are inherent to all humans, how can something that does not exist in some places be a right.
And yes, Pine Barron will be the next crypto boom. The way to invest in is to send me lots of money, and I’ll send you an NFT that I promise is worth lots.
Yes to those college essays that you wished you saved. I remember writing one where I argued against “equality of opportunity” that was roundly mocked (but not defeated) by the professor.
Speaking of laws banning face coverings . . .
Today is the day virtually all remaining public health restrictions to combat COVID-19 have been rescinded, meaning (amongst other things) no more mask mandates. I went food shopping a few minutes ago and noted that, in my local Safeway, there were only three people I saw who weren’t wearing face diapers: myself, one other shopper and one employee (behind the deli counter). Everyone else was masked.
Man, have we ever managed to terrify the general population here.
one employee (behind the deli counter
Of course the one person that should be wearing a spit guard. And washing their hands…
But… but… but… DELTA VARIANT! DOOM! FEAR!
There are two different meanings to “have a right to X”.
One is that the government may not interfere with you finding it, creating it, purchasing it from a willing provider, or receiving it as a gift/bequest. In that sense, yes, you have a right to water, healthcare, education, high-speed Internet, and everything else that does not involve harming another person.
The other meaning is that the government must provide you the thing in question, and they must step in if someone cannot afford it or if it’s unavailable in a certain area. That’s where the problems start.
Thank you. This was a nice read.
Applicable music selection for you country fans:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AHnQtY1bg4
My contribution:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rU-KVObNEd4
Likely the only Eddie Money song that doesnt induce vomiting for me. I actually like the guitars.
But this is more relevant to the subject- Aquarius
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6giiYDlqRQs
Can’t.
Holy shit, ‘sloper.
Was not expecting that. Nor the (manly) tear.
We share the same addiction, it appears. So many of my best memories were in, on and near the water.
My little fisherman has since grown up and surpassed me, but watching him fly cast today makes me so fucking happy.
Thanks for the essay.
There can be no doubt that SugarFree‘s surveillance of the White House is the most breath-taking bit of intelligence craft ever known to man. The NSA may capture more, but they never gain the insight from what they see/hear.
We already knew what Politico is only now reporting.
calling and texting with each other about the political fallout that a potential trip would entail
I hate to think of the strategizing that goes on for even lesser matters. And for an office that isn’t even worth a bucket of warm spit.
#FreeAstra
Water is for fighting, whiskey is for drinking.
Fish fuck in it.
— W. C. Fields
— Sterling Archer
No one’s gone here yet?
Slackers.
https://thehill.com/homenews/house/561106-pelosi-names-liz-cheney-to-serve-on-jan-6-select-committee
? ?
Fuck you Wyoming, this is your fault.
Loathsome, both of them
As if there was any doubt that an “inquiry” would be weaponized first and foremost against the non-estashblishment, Trumpistas, and ordinary citizens.
“Enemy of my enemy” and all that…
Bipartisanship in action!
Good read WS, I love water as well, we have plenty up here,
We drove over Monarch pass, dropped into Salida and entered the canyon that eventually becomes the Royal Gorge.
I drove through there and back with my dog visiting my Colorado friend for a Memorial Day weekend. I pulled off right after the pass to take a leak and the dog, a 100lb lab, jumped into a creek moving so fast it would have taken him had he not been leashed. I corralled him back onto the bank and he smiled at me with that stupid pleased look. Good memory, thanks for the story.
I once banged ex-Ms. TresCool in a buddy’s pool. That’s water related, isnt it?
(uhhh….the filter would get all the “stuff”, right ?)
Nope. The three women who later swam in buddie’s pool, and got pregnant, would like to talk to you about child support.
Dude- what I pay out now for Tres Version 2.0 is obscene. If any more were added, someone would find me swinging from a rafter in the garage.
(also the course of action were Jugsy to get pregnant)
And the Bee spikes the ball so hard that the goalposts collapse.
Beautiful.
My Dad was a water person, and passed some of that along to me. He served in the Navy; he was a swimmer; he took us to lakes and rivers and ocean beaches. He worked in an industry whose prime movers are run by water (steam). Some of my early memories of things he taught me involved a toy steam engine and learning about the thermodynamics of water and how steam powered equipment works. He sailed a small sailboat. His entire life seemed to, if not revolve around, then be profoundly intertwined with water. When his time came, it was in the water.
Water still connects me to some of my best memories, and it’s seldom that a trip to the beach doesn’t bring a tear to my eye, thinking about how Dad would have spent hours at the water’s edge, or swimming with powerful strokes parallel to the shore, or walking in the surf looking for interesting shells.
This song reminds me of my Dad
Perfect Water
As someone that grew-up (kinda) in the environmental testing business, with a focus on utility boilers and power generation, I had one of these as a kid.
Tres Sr. was also ex-Navy, and we always had an assortment of crappy watercraft.
I wish I was more of a water person. It is something I enjoy when I do go to it, but I didn’t grow up around it much, so I’m still a novice at everything beyond just sitting on the shore or wading in the shallows. You aren’t living life if you aren’t outside.
From the prior post’s comments – Annapolis is where I learned to sail.
I grew up at the NJ shore and have determined that working and playing on the water is one of those things you need to do as a kid or it will never feel completely natural. I’ve been seasick and it’s miserable. But I’ll still go out in small boats in big waves with relatively minimal fear if I comfortable with the quality of the boat and the people on board.
Yeah being a Cali kid you basically needed to learn to be a strong swimmer to venture in the Pacific. I was a definate water baby and we would venture to the beach every weekend cause it was free and parents just said be back for food.
Back in HS, I’d go boogie boarding or body surfing every chance I could get. I got really good at it, and could hang with the surfers in 8′ swells.
I got a real zen feeling out of reading the incoming waves and riding the waves.
52 degree water on X-mas day and I’m in a short sleeve beaver tail summer wet suit.
Water so cold my feet cramped immediately and I had bright blue lips after 20 minutes.
It is the only thing I miss about California.
Same here on about the only thing I miss.
As people said here, the ocean is a awe inspiring wonder and has a mystical feel to it…especially at sunset and sunrise.
Stay out in the water until you started going numb. Then play some sand sports to warm back up.
I just wish more people also paid attention to safety when swimming in lakes and the like. Just had a tragic case in my area of a father swimming with his kids (six of them out of eight) in an unsupervised area. Two children in the hospital at last report, and the father did not make it.
They say what it was? Alcohol involved for the father? Or we talking one of the Great Lakes? Cause those should be seas and treated as such.
+ 1 The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald
Nope. This was a small lake in one of the metroparks. No cause provided.
Wow…just read up on the report. Sounds like dad let kids go swimming not knowing varying depths and I am guessing one or more kids were not good swimmers…and from there….dad trying to save em. At least my speculation. Geesh.
https://nypost.com/2020/06/24/nj-family-not-knowing-how-to-swim-drowned-trying-to-save-girl/
Last year. In a swimming pool.
Good lord…that is tragic on so many levels
The worst part of it is that there is an allowed swimming area that does have hours with lifeguards on duty in that same lake. That area also allows fishing, kayaking, and other manually powered boats.
Human are a lot of things and one thing that is consistent is that we are dumb at the worst possible times.
Well, that explains my first marriage.
Ugh. Here, helicopter fly-bys are routine, but when you hear one staying on station nearby, it almost always means a lost swimmer. It makes me angry as it is likely a tween/teen/young adult who succumbed to peer pressure rather than copping to the fact that they did not know how to swim.
Reminds me of this idiot…who is very lucky to be alive.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4871722/British-man-swims-Hoover-Dam-reservoir.html
Jeepers. Huzzah for the Drunken Welsh lout!
Yeah nice title for a bit of a fine…only man to swim across the reservoir and he was drunk.
Speaking of local news to us.
Motorcyclist dies in Midtown Manhattan crash with Mercedes
Former rider here scanning through the article notes this little tidbit. I’ve got a pretty good idea what happened.
The Mrs. and I were talking the other day about adults who don’t know how to swim. “You don’t even have working legs and you can swim just fine!” Which is correct. My family wasn’t the outdoorsy type but we did have a pool and we went to the beach, so I learned to equate water with a good time, and got comfortable with it, when I was little.
Not being able to swim, in my value system, is tantamount to not being able to read.
At the very least…know you are bouyent and all you gotta do is remain calm.
This. My mom had me in swim lessons from early on for that exact reason. I may not have internalized all the nuances of each swim stroke, but I could float all day long.
We have our kids in even younger. In fact, the soon-to-be 8 month old starts her first lessons next week.
Awesome! I was taught at around that age, maybe a year…according to my mom.
I was so comfortable around water and understood it that at age 5, to family legend, pulled my cousin that was just a crawler out from the pool by his onesie when he went in. Obviously I have no memory of it and could just be tall tales that parents tell.
Yeah, there’s so many pools around here that teaching kids to swim – starting with how to roll on their back and float – as early as possible is just a basic safety issue, like teaching them not to run out into the street.
If you watch any video footage from Operation Just Cause, you will see a number of soldiers wearing arm bands fashioned from white engineer’s tape. This indicates that they do not know how to swim and must be accompanied by a battle-buddy who does. Growing up on the water, I had trouble understanding that there were healthy young men who couldn’t swim. On the plus side, it caused Army to embark upon a crash course in drown-proofing the soldiery. Those of us who were strong swimmers all got lifeguard/CPR certs and spent a couple days every month down at the pool teaching the rest of our units how to tread water, make floaties out of their pants, and wriggle out of web gear whilst submerged.
Some MOSs had a drown-proofing as an training requirement. I was a Troop XO in a 19D Scout unit. I’d get in the pool with ‘Lurch’ (6′ 5″ Drill Sergeant) to do the drown proofing, as we were the two strongest swimmers of the cadre.
I had a 5’2″ kid panic in 7′ of water and try to use me as a life preserver and climb on top of my head. I had to dunk under to get him to let go and then stiff -arm carry him to the side of the pool.
Teaching point? Don’t get too close to people you are drown proofing.
My cousin’s 5yo did that to my 7yo a while back. Fortunately we were close by and paying attention enough to recognize that they weren’t just playing around, so we were able to grab both of them. Scary AF.
I had to do drown proofing up in Alaska. The strong swimmers had an extra test of getting out of the pool, but you couldn’t use your arms until you got your torso out. A fall through the ice scenario.
Water was unfun and embarassing. often accompanied by sunburn or unwanted social interactions.
I simply avoid anything bigger than a puddle.
Couldn’t find you swimming gloves?
I was not in charge of my wardrobe as a child.
Today, I have no inclination to learn.
Cool story, ‘sloper!
I, too, have a love affair with water. I have always lived next to it (someday hope to live on it).
I like water in lakes, ponds, wetlands, marshes, sloughs and rivers, but the first time I encountered the ocean (when I was in my early twenties) was a more mystical experience to me. There’s something about the utter primality and archaic-ness (I may have just coined a neologism) of the ocean that’s on a whole ‘nother level in my mind. I cannot explain it.
The ocean contains things that will eat, poison, or sting you. Not found as often in freshwater.
That’s the difference in my head.
Heinlein described “…the ungrokkable vastness of ocean.” That’s as good a description as any other I’ve heard.
Inventing the word “grok” is likely one of the dumbest things RJH came up with.
I understand it was used widely in the hippie and nerd communities.
Stranger in a Strange Land was a hard slog for me as it’s basically a hippie book.
Uneven is the way I’d describe it. Still don’t regret having read it several times.
“thou are God” or something like that is the only thing about that pile of foolscap that sticks with me.
Other than the stupid “Grok” word.
He could’ve abruptly cut the last 1/3 of the book and burned it and it would have been a better story, despite the lack of climax or denoument.
Yeah, I’ve read it four-five times. It’s not his best but boy howdy it’s far from his worst.
I’m about 50/50 on his juveniles.
And it’s most certainly better than late stage RAH.
I dont mind “Farnham’s Freehold” just for the fantastical quality of it. And it includes him banging his daughter-in-law, which knocked her up. Sex was always a big thing with that guy.
And cats, for some reason.
I dunno.
I remember buying the paperback in the MacGuire AFB terminal on the way to Germany the summer before 10th grade. There’s a boring story to go with this, but meh. Anyway, tried to read it but got in a few chapters and couldn’t do it. Fortunately, I had also bought Moon is a Harsh Mistress at the same time. This was my first exposure to RAH. I did finally read Stranger, but not until after HS and I had read numerous other RAH books.
Water flowing under
Fuck you DHL.
Work or personal?
Personal. Amazon JP. Need a true square skokupan pan. And some other stuff.
You mean “shokupan”? One thing the Japanese don’t do better than the west? 😉
DHL took almost 6 months to ship my wife’s Christmas present from Germany. Fuck em indeed.
Great read! I too am a water junkie. My most recent romance with paddling Florida’s fresh water springs have spoiled me enough that I am seriously and irrationally considering a move there.
Song “Water” by one of the few Nu-Metal band I like.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihsz_wMk5Cs
As a denizen of the plains states, every trip to the ocean is a mystical experience.
But, to be honest, sitting on top of one of the superstition mountains and listening to the wind beats every trip I’ve made to the ocean.
Every person needs to, or should, find that spot on Earth that speaks to you, where you can find a bit of peace.
Mine was in Colorado; a little saddle between 2 big, rocky hills of about 1000′ in height near 11-Mile Reservoir in the South Park area. You can climb either hill and spin around and not see any evidence of human existence all the way to the horizon. I always wanted a storage container and geodesic dome built compound connecting both hills. Now Colorado seems to have changed in a way I don’t really care for. Fuck it! I want to flee back to Boca Grande and live in a shack and fish for tarpon.
I’m a creature of where I was born and raised. I like the green mountains and water everywhere in this part of the North East. Walking in and exploring stone bottomed creeks and streams was some of the best parts of my childhood. Water from mountains springs that is 60 degrees or lower through most of the year cant be beat in the summer.
Here is a great example of what I mean.
https://www.tripadvisor.com/Attraction_Review-g52191-d325168-Reviews-Ricketts_Glen_State_Park-Benton_Pennsylvania.html
This just in the Democratic Gov of PA issues a line item veto to shrink the budget??!!!!
Oh it was only done to defund a potential investigation into the 2020 election. Cary on.
https://www.yahoo.com/news/wolf-line-item-veto-shrinks-160000962.html
Fetch me my fainting couch.
Seriously, the end of his term cannot come fast enough.
God damn it, Sloper! Someone must be cutting onions near me. Great read sir. Now I have to ruminate on the shitty relationship I have with both my dad and step-dad. Sigh…
I would direct you to go to Far Rockaway and sob on Jugsy’s considerable bosom, but she comes home tomorrow.
Unreal.
Fire Co and the town seem completely unaware that an old mill was apparently turned into a battery recycling business. It’s in libertarian utopia Illinois so I kind of understand it.
Morris mayor says officials were unaware battery business was operating in building that’s still on fire. Thousands remain evacuated.
I love how newspapers lie to you immediately upon visiting their website and then expect you to expect any truth in any of their articles.
No, ad blockers DO NOT block your funding. Your laziness blocks your funding. You could feed me a print ad just as easily as you feed me any photograph for the article, but you chose to be lazy and farmed out your web advertising to a third party. You don’t have a third party insert the ad pages in the print edition, why do you do it for the on-line edition? Answer: because you changed your business model to match your incompetence. Die in a fire – preferably one in Morris.
/rant
Yup. If they had unobtrusive ads I’d let them run. I get they need a way to make a profit.
WSJ is my personal pet peeve. I pay a significant amount of cash for a subscription and the advertising on the site is both ridiculous and significantly resource intensive.
OT: The left LP is lining up to suck off Amash now that he’s homeless. I’ve got no use for that twat after the Russiagate fiasco.
Thus why I’m not a Libertarian. Any movement welcoming to cast-off ideas from the prog-fascist movement is not for me.
Ammo prices are up, but armor prices are down.
20% site wide sale at Spartan Armor this weekend.
Makes this ~$282 for a carrier and two full coated AR550 plates.
Poor John has a sad.
Is it bear-proof?
Good piece sloper, I enjoyed it. Yup, water is something else. I have never lived more than a couple miles from the sea, but when not at the coast the rivers do quite nicely.
The health of a salmon to you, a long life and good heart and a wet mouth.
-Old Irish toast
Thread is dead, but enjoyed your musings, sloper.
Also, since the fleecy felted one is absent, “Don’t you people work?”